How To Heal A Broken Heart

Beloved Spiritual Friends ~ We are back to discuss How To Heal A Broken Heart. In these uncertain times, it's natural to question: how to deal with heartbreak? We ponder the many ways our hearts can be broken, whether it's breaking up with someone you love, or attempting to get over someone you love. We share honestly about our own broken hearts and what it was like attempting to get over someone. Of course, we will share tools for what to do during and after a breakup.

Transcript

Thanks for joining us here on Pretty Spiritual where we're attempting the unthinkable about how to navigate this messy,

Beautiful,

Imperfect life with spiritual tools,

Principles,

And our own personal stories.

So we're not experts,

We're not religious,

We're definitely silly.

We're honest,

Real,

And willing to share.

So join us as we connect,

Bond,

And grow together.

Hi,

Friends.

Welcome back.

Hi.

Hey,

Everybody.

Welcome to another fun episode of Pretty Spiritual podcast.

I am Ella.

To my left is my friend Annie.

Hello.

And to my right,

The lovely Ponyta.

Hello,

I am Lindsay Pony,

The pony with many names.

Hi,

Lindsay.

Pony of so many names.

So we had kind of a serendipitous email come through from a listener who was asking whether we could do an episode about what it's like to break up in a romantic relationship where there's still love between the people.

I happen to be in that exact place right now.

So when we saw that email come across,

I was like,

Okay,

Universe,

I guess we're doing the breakup episode.

Here it comes.

We brought hankies.

Lindsay has a collection of like Mary Poppins style little handkerchiefs with little flowers and ruffles on them.

Skelepped edges and stitching.

They're very deep.

Oh my God,

There's mine.

That's a fresh one.

Oh,

A fresh one.

Yeah.

We all need them.

And it's great to have hankies to cry into.

There really is.

Especially if you're doing the snot bubble type crying and you need to blow your nose,

Which I have been doing a lot of.

So welcome to the snot bubbles and the tears and hopefully also some funny stuff maybe and lightheartedness.

Who knows?

We're always trying.

So yeah,

My longtime partner and I broke up about a month ago.

We'd come to a place where we both had valid needs that the other person just couldn't meet.

And we really,

Really tried to make it work.

But what kept happening is that we would hurt each other by not being able to show up for these needs.

And we just kept doing that.

So after a lot of pausing and praying and writing and other stuff,

I did what I believe to be the right thing for both of us,

Which was to end the relationship.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I didn't want to do it.

I still don't want it to be done.

I still love this person so much.

And there's that one part of my brain that's like,

Maybe we could,

But maybe.

But I tried.

We tried.

We tried a lot of stuff to make it work and it didn't.

So I came to the point where I wasn't willing to hurt myself or my ex anymore.

And I knew that if we kept trying to stay together,

That we eventually would hurt each other so much that we wouldn't like each other by the end of it or love each other.

I love this person so much that I was willing to let him go to not have that happen between us.

And breakups suck.

I'm totally heartbroken.

I think about them all the time.

I miss them constantly.

It's a really big adjustment to a life that doesn't have a minute.

I have plenty to say about that experience of heartbreak,

Which I'll get into a little bit later.

But today's episode is going to be what it's like to break up,

Especially in cases where you still love your partner or ex-partner.

And what are the tools that help us walk through this incredibly difficult experience?

Hopefully with some grace.

And I love that face,

Pony.

Pony's like in a silent panic attack.

I really am over here.

Hold your hankies.

It's okay.

We've got a lot of tools.

We've got tools.

We've got hankies.

Get a teddy bear.

We've got teddy bears.

We're going to be okay,

You guys.

Okay.

We are.

That much we know.

Annie,

Would you like to start us off and tell us about your experience with heartbreak?

Yes.

Thank you,

Ella,

For the intro and thanks for the listener who wrote in to the topic.

It really is amazing how the timing works sometimes.

I have two examples.

One is I broke up with someone that I still loved and I've also been broken up with by someone that I loved.

So I've been on both ends of the situation in a relationship.

And in any case,

It's not easy.

And for breakups,

There's just no great blueprint for handling it.

Everyone in the world,

For the most part,

Knows what it's like to have your heart broken.

And it's the worst.

It just consumes everything.

We suffer.

And yeah,

And until it happened to me,

Like really having my heart broken,

I didn't understand.

And I was actually well into adulthood before I had my heart broken.

In the first case where I broke up with someone who I was still in love with,

It was really,

Really confusing.

I had so many feelings for this person.

We had so much fun together.

We laughed together.

We were great friends.

But I also had this intuition,

This deep sense inside that I couldn't that there was ways that I wanted to grow and I needed to do it by myself.

But it was so scary because I didn't I had never been a single adult.

I didn't know what it was.

It just scared the heck out of me,

Honestly.

And so I did this yo-yo thing.

Another person did too,

Where we would go back and forth and back and forth.

And it made it so much harder.

Oh my God.

So in the other case,

This was the first person I fell in love with after I had stopped drinking.

And so it was a couple of years after that,

But it was like almost a different version of me.

Oh,

They broke up with me because they couldn't provide the emotional support I needed.

Quote unquote.

Because in retrospect,

It was such a healthy decision this person made.

I was not being emotionally responsible for myself.

And also in retrospect,

I have a lot of compassion for that version of me because there's a lot of variables at play.

My edges were loose.

I was spilling out all over.

I needed a lot of help.

And I was being overly demanding and overly reliant on this person to provide me this sense of safety that no one reasonably should have to do for me.

Even at the time that it happened,

I understood and respected the decision,

But it hurt so bad.

I was like,

Oh my God,

I'm not ready for this.

And my heart got broken.

I had expected it to be a relationship that was going to last forever.

So even though it was really a short ride,

It guided me.

And I couldn't bear to have a connection with this person.

And they had been a close friend.

And I just I had kind of for my own sanity and sense of self,

I just had to totally sever the connection.

And so six years later,

We don't have any contact.

And it's not in a way of animosity.

But it's just I don't ever reach out and they don't ever reach out.

And it's weird.

You know,

I wish them well and all the best.

And maybe we'll cross paths and have a friendship sometime.

But but I don't know.

Hearts are really strange.

They can get so close and they can get so hurt.

So that's my experience with breaking up with people that I still have love for.

And then in the tools part,

I have some really practical tools for how to handle it because it feels like a state of crisis.

Thank you so much,

Annie.

I loved hearing about that.

And Pony,

Would you please tell us about your sweet little Pony heart?

Oh,

Boy.

Okay.

The breakup episode.

That's great.

Last night in preparing for this,

I just sat at the computer and cried.

And I want to say to all of our listeners that if you're here and you clicked on this episode or you were searching for something about breaking up,

I'm really sorry.

And it's probably really hard right now.

I'm glad that we can all be together and talk about this because I've found a lot of healing in really sharing deeply and intimately some stuff right now.

I'm pretty concerned about sharing.

But in honor of healing and in honor of reality,

I'm going to share deeply.

The two relationships that really broke me and broke my heart.

I am so glad that we get to talk about it right now because it's such a sacred space.

I really get to go back and revisit all the pieces and how they broke and what shapes they were in.

And now to look at my heart and see how they've kind of mended back together.

And also how the feelings and the pain,

Just like Annie was saying,

How tragic it was then and then how that softened and what it's looked like and how it's brought on its own other life.

And I'm going to talk about a boyfriend that I had when I was 19 years old.

And the main reason that we broke up,

Just like Ella was talking about,

Having these needs that the other person couldn't meet.

And I'm going to talk about two relationships because in looking at this,

I realized that I got to learn a lot about myself through my breakup history.

And there's some really important information there for me if I'm willing to look.

When I was 19,

I had no tools and no resources.

And I was really set up for this relationship actually.

And so when he got paralyzed,

It was my mission to show back up and I would be able to get love from this person because I would be able to show up and take care of them like they needed.

And of course I could not see that.

There's no way.

And the other relationship I wanted to talk about,

Which is different,

But also breakup is the breakup of the relationship of myself and my mother.

I think there's a lot of relationships that we can talk about where breaking up was necessary when there were needs that couldn't be met.

And to sacrifice my own emotional and mental well-being any longer,

I could see that no matter how much I was wanting some type of love,

That sacrifice was never going to get me what I needed.

And these type of relationship where someone's been in a horrible accident and then you have to leave them or you choose to leave them when you realize that what's going on.

I had gotten really attached to his pain medication.

And I just bring that up because sometimes I wonder if we would still be together.

I really do.

And I think that's part of the breaking up stuff.

It's like,

What if,

What did this mean?

Why did it go that way?

I had to leave that relationship.

And then I just wanted to bring up about my mom because it's something that I feel like is very unique to me.

And I think that a lot of us,

Especially in American culture,

We're taught to buy in and stay in to dysfunction and unwellness.

And I think that can happen in so many kinds of relationships.

And I could not do that anymore with my mother and have a life of my own.

And once I realized that I made the decision that we couldn't talk for,

I don't know how long.

I wanted to say that I don't know what,

There's no way to like,

That's the thing about breakups,

Right?

Like how do I wrap this up?

How do I like really,

What do I do here?

Well,

It's broken right now.

And that doesn't mean that we can't put things back together or that it won't look different later,

Like through ourselves.

And that's the experience that we,

I think we'll get to when we get into the tools to see how to kind of pick up the pieces and be with what's here.

That was so beautiful.

Thank you,

Pony.

I love you so much.

I know,

Seriously.

Thank you,

Annie.

I was just listening and I've been so emotionally all over the place lately and thought maybe I'll be able to cry when we're recording.

And I feel so far away from my feelings right now.

And when you said that you wanted to share these deep,

Uncomfortable parts,

I was realizing when I listened to you that the deep,

Uncomfortable parts for me are,

You know,

It's that story again of like,

I'm just not doing it right.

You know,

And I have that story about all sorts of stuff.

But right now I'm having it about like,

Oh,

If I was really heartbroken,

I would be crying right now instead of feeling numb and kind of cut off and not able to access the feelings.

And what is so great about this experience I'm having is that's a normal experience too,

You know,

Is like feeling numb a lot of the time to feelings that are too catastrophic to feel and for me,

Like participate in life.

What is one of the coolest things about walking through this experience today?

Because breakups have historically have devastated me like I have been catatonic and non functional.

And the really cool thing about this is I'm just trusting my feelings.

I trust that when the big ones come up,

I feel them and you know,

Like,

I get to let it hurt when it really,

Really hurts.

And there certainly are moments like that.

I the other day,

I saw a buck knife on my dresser,

And I just like saw it glint.

And it was like,

Almost in that same moment,

I had the thought of like,

I want to hurt myself.

And so I just left the house and just started walking.

And I was crying and walking.

And I got down to the beach and I called Lindsay and I was just like sobbing.

And then I told her that she said so many wonderful and helpful things.

And eventually she said,

Do you think that you are going to do something about that?

And I said no.

And she said,

Will you call me if you change your mind?

And I said yes.

I was I just like sobbed,

You know,

And like let it fall apart.

And you know,

I'm like still living my life in the thick of this heartbreak.

But I'll be somewhere,

You know,

At a cafe working and I'll start to kind of whimper,

Cry and feel like,

Oh,

I really need to like cry cry right now.

And there's been so much stuff just coming out that it's not like polite crying,

You know,

It's crying that like if you did it in public,

People would probably interfere and maybe like,

See if you needed help from professionals.

And so I came home to do that kind of crying.

And I'm fortunate to have enough flexibility that I can like really do that.

And so I'm just letting the feelings happen.

And the gift of that is that when the numbness is here,

I'm like,

Oh,

I guess this is what it's supposed to be right now.

You know,

It's it doesn't have to be any other way.

And I can say that grief involves a lot of really uncomfortable experiences.

And almost none of them feel like the right thing.

And that's that's actually OK.

I was reading an email from one of our favorite listeners.

I'm going to give you a name shout out,

Kelly Craig.

We love you,

Kelly.

You're so great.

And I was reading an email that she sent.

And one of the things that she said was the longest distance in the world truly is the distance from the head to the heart.

And I'm just like,

Wow,

Breakups are really proof of that.

For me,

Grief is especially heartbreak.

Grief is an incredibly physical experience.

And I am grateful for that because my body is always in the present moment.

So if I can feel the sensations physically in my body,

I trust that I'm like grief is happening and being processed in real time.

And then what's very interesting is that as these physical sensations arise in our bodies,

Almost probably in the same moment,

It feels like there are stories that come up,

Right,

Which are like,

Huh?

Some of my stories have been like,

He doesn't miss me or think about me.

It's like really hard for me not to text him,

But probably it's easy for him to just not think about me.

And it's not that big a deal and he's fine.

That's one story.

Or another story is him with another woman.

And I'm like,

Yeah,

It's like a punch to the gut.

And what I come back to when I notice myself going down those kind of dangerous trajectories is I just come back to myself because what I know about myself is that,

And human beings in general,

I think,

Is that heartbreak sucks.

Our brains are trying to get us out of that experience.

Like any sticky hook that our brain can come up with to pull us out of our uncomfortable grieving bodies and into our heads,

That looks like a great option.

You know,

When there's this much grief to hold.

And the thing about it is it's a lie because we don't get to know what's going on for the other person.

The only experience we'll ever have access to is our own.

And so I guess I'll start with tools right now.

The first tool for me is like every time that my brain tries to drag me off,

I notice that and I come back to my heart and my body.

And I try to remind myself that this is the only experience I get to witness.

And right now it hurts.

Let it hurt.

Just let it hurt.

Okay.

I think after that minor tool preview,

It's time to really dig into the tools because let's be real.

Heartbreak is the pits.

We need so many tools.

It's the worst.

Don't worry.

Help us.

Somebody help.

Okay.

Annie tools.

Give me your tools.

Give them to me right now.

Thank you,

Ella.

My tools are for relationships where both people are safe.

Sometimes we might love somebody,

But they're not a safe person for us.

So this just I want to contextualize that these are tools for breakups when both people are safe people.

So the first one is to be really kind to each other,

Especially if you're the breaker.

So it's hard for everybody,

But people get mad and hurt when you break up with them.

I know this because I've been the breakie.

And so everyone's in major pain.

But when I'm doing the breaking,

It's really helpful for me to remember that I have agency that the other person might not feel like they have.

So when I had my heart broken,

I felt like it was a decision that happened to me.

And I mean,

Looking back with retrospect and time,

Of course there was parts and there was all this stuff that I was in denial about leading up to it.

But at the time it just felt like I didn't have any control or any say.

Be forgiving if the breakie isn't acting ideal because it might be a relationship that can become a friendship later on down the line.

So that's my first one.

And the second one is know that you can grow.

So when I had my heart broken,

It served this amazing purpose to help me grow into a person who could be emotionally contained for themselves.

So the cause of this breakup was I was all over the place and emotionally demanding.

Having that rupture happen,

It crushed me.

But then on the other end,

It was this gift because I was able to grow into this person who is ready for a different kind of relationship later on down the line,

Which led eventually to me getting married and being a person in the marriage that is just a different kind of person in this marriage.

So then these are for either case scenarios,

Whether you're the breaker or the breakie.

Stay away from social media.

I know this one is so obvious,

But don't dig into the other person's lives.

It's just so seductive and it's so slippery.

And it actually ties into there's this study that was done,

I think,

In 2017 by the Journal of Experimental Psychology.

And they were looking at ways to actually help people heal from heartbreak because it's a real phenomena.

People are impacted physically,

Mentally,

Emotionally,

The whole nine.

There's this great article and it's on the tools.

Www.

Prettespiritualpodcast.

Com backslash tools.

There's going to be a ton of tools from this episode.

A psychologist named Guy Winch kind of broke down the study in a way that's easy to understand.

But essentially the only viable way to actually help heal heartbreak because you always hear time,

Support network,

Which are all great tools,

But they also suck because they mean you have to walk through it.

So dumb.

It actually showed demonstrable results of helping people recover faster,

Essentially called down regulation of love feelings.

The practice is a little bit odd because you do a negative reappraisal of the relationship in the person.

It's saying that when we break up with someone or they break up with us,

We have this idea.

We just snapshot on these idealized image.

Oh,

Great sex.

Oh,

That romantic dinner.

Oh,

That walk on the beach.

And it's just these moments of idealizing either the person or the relationship.

And so it's noticing when your brain does that and then flipping it,

Which is a negative way of thinking,

But helpful in these circumstances so that you're saying,

Actually,

You know,

At the end I didn't really like to be intimate with that person.

So why am I thinking that?

Or you know,

We had that romantic dinner at the beginning,

But at the end we would always bicker when we went to dinner being realistic about it.

So it's balancing those inaccurate perceptions that are skewed to the positive.

Winch's article breaks down the study and gives examples of how to do it in a way that's really helpful,

But it kind of retrains the brain.

It's essentially the opposite of living in a social media world in your brain,

Right?

Where you're just seeing these filtered images of your ex.

If you have a friend going through a breakup,

Be super supportive.

My dear friend called me every day after my heart was broken for probably two months and I was crying probably every single phone call.

And it was so nice just to have someone be like,

Hey,

I love you.

Okay,

Bye.

And this last one isn't a super fix it tool,

But it's really fun.

So in the midst of this breakup,

I came across this episode on This American Life.

It's a podcast that's really good.

And the host of that one was writer Starlee Kine and it's about breakup music.

And so it talks about her breakup and specifically Phil Collins,

Which is hilarious.

I love Phil Collins.

And so good.

And so the whole episode is her diving into A,

Getting over this broken heart.

But then also looking at it in the context of breakup music and how music is so powerful.

So it's kind of a fun thing to listen to whether you're in the middle of a breakup or not.

And that also is on our tools tab.

Those are my tools.

So great.

Also,

I want to say as someone who's in the thick of the breakup music that Billie Eilish is amazing.

Quick note on breakup music.

So after that heartbreak,

I listened to the song Sail by AWOL Nation on repeat for probably a month.

And one day my friend came over and she goes,

What are you doing?

And she would text me every day.

Don't listen to that song on repeat.

Because I would just wallow.

I would sing.

I would like,

Oh,

Feel the feelings.

I think we can add,

Like this is the one and only tool you need for a breakup is find the saddest song possible and then listen to it on repeat by yourself.

That's what I've been doing.

It works awesome.

It feels so good.

Pony,

You want to drop some tools on us?

That's so great.

I do have some tools.

The first thing I wanted to say is we got a really wonderful email from someone,

A man,

First of all.

Thanks dudes.

We know you're listening.

We love you.

Shout out to our male identifying audience.

Yes,

However it is.

We love you all very much.

He was writing about a breakup and he put in from one of his favorite writer is Jim Harrison.

And he writes about the need to live with an open though often wounded heart.

And that is really the tool.

You know,

Just remembering that we're still living,

We're still going on and you know,

With wounded hearts.

Annie,

I really,

You touched on so many things I wanted to touch on.

I love showing up for people who are in the midst of a breakup.

Just thank you so much for all of those tools that you gave.

Having,

In one of my relationships that I think it was over 15 years ago.

So that's good.

I have a lot of new perspective that has helped me to see that even with the end of a relationship,

The relationship to each other still grows and changes in a new way.

And I really,

It provides an opportunity for perspective and it shows me who I was before and how far I've come,

What I want in my life moving forward,

What didn't work.

It's just really.

It's a powerful mirror.

It is a powerful mirror.

It's a powerful mirror to be able to look back and see all of that.

I didn't have any tools 15 years ago.

I really didn't.

And I really hurt myself and I didn't process the trauma that I went through all of that and it really kind of stayed and lived in my body.

And then I also have this residual family dynamic trauma that is also still really alive and well with me.

And I go to a somatic therapist recently,

The last thing that we did,

It was so great was just grounding ourselves.

So knowing where our body begins and ends.

And I'd never done that before.

I haven't had tools like that before.

And I'm doing all of this work on how to show up and be.

One of the exercises that we did was envisioning myself and then to see myself with all of the perceived cracks and broken parts that was still letting in dysfunction and pain and not,

I just wasn't able to feel whole and stable and strong.

And I like the story of when something breaks in Japanese culture,

They fill it with gold so I did this exercise where I saw my body and I saw all the cracks and all the pain and all the places that felt really broken.

And then I imagined this gold and pouring it through me and filling up all the cracks and I rooted myself.

I could feel all the way down into my feet and I rooted it all the way into the ground and I actively spent this time in therapy like really believing and filling up all of those cracks so that I could find my power,

The own power that resides within me,

Whether I felt like I've given it away to others or when I get near others that whether it's a mental space if I'm thinking about them or if I'm going to see them or if I run into them at the grocery store or something like that.

If I have found my inner strength and power and know that I am strong,

I am capable and that I can handle these situations that it's not going to be so tragic and traumatic that it's going to break me that I can't continue on.

And so that was the little exercise that I just did recently because I have a lot of healing to do especially when it comes to in relationship with people actively today because trauma that I felt in going through those breakups,

I haven't fully processed all the way and so in relationship today actively,

I actually have some parts of me where I'm still not able to show up as I would like.

So there's a lot of little pieces on the road to healing for me and I hope that you're able to show up for yourself today and love yourself in the way.

A big thing that I would do is I was really showing up to these people to love me and I was never going to be able to receive the love that I needed from another person.

It has to come from within and that has been a big learning experience for me.

So I'm trying.

Thank you Golden Pony.

Amen,

Girl.

I'm like,

Can I just get something from out there to fix me?

I'll try many.

I'll have one of those gold baths.

Yeah.

Can I just have a hot tub full of liquid gold?

Maybe some gold jewelry.

Well,

It's gold.

I don't care.

It's a jacket.

It's so great to be doing this episode with you guys and in real time for me,

I had been like fantasizing about hearing from my ex and he texted me last night of a video of something from a TV show that we like and I wanted to text him back so badly.

I just wanted him.

I just wanted to be with him.

I wanted to feel like everything was okay.

I really missed and wanted that comfort and I didn't text him back.

When I want to text him really badly,

I tell myself that if I still want to do it tomorrow,

I can,

But right now I'm not going to do it.

Even though that's like feels kind of like I'm tricking my brain,

It's working.

So that's what I keep doing.

And then there are some kind of attitude adjustments and questions I ask myself that have been helping and one attitude adjustment is to remind myself that I still have a perfectly full complete life without a romantic partner.

And that's one of the really big gifts of having a full spiritual life is that I show up for this really rich full life.

And when a part of it like a partner goes away,

I have this solid base to stand on where I still have integrity and self-esteem and a support system and other relationships.

And that was something that I didn't have when I was younger.

And so when I put everything into a relationship and then it ended,

I felt like the rug got pulled from underneath me and there was like nothing solid to stand on.

So that's a really big gift.

I also like Annie was talking about the love down regulation.

I asked myself,

What was it really like?

Why did I break up with this person?

And why did I believe that ending this relationship was the right thing to do?

And that helps me so much to remember that it wasn't working.

The person who I want,

Like I've been remembering a lot about when we were first getting together,

That's the person that in the fantasy part of my brain I get when I text my ex,

But that's not who I get.

And so I can remember that fantasy is very different from what the reality of our relationship has looked like in the past few months and I come back to remembering why ending things felt like the kind and sane thing to do for both of us.

Another thing that really helps me is to look at my part and contribution to the dynamic.

There are a lot of great ways to do that with writing.

For me,

Especially what I look at are the parts of myself that are these kind of overarching patterns of my life and Annie and Lindsay were both sharing about needing a romantic partner to take emotional care of us slash meet all our needs.

And I definitely have that impulse too.

And so I look for all of these places where I would victimize myself and then expect my partner to rescue me.

I really see how much pain that causes me and also this other person who ends up feeling resentful if they need to rescue us all the time.

So I look at those tendencies in myself and then even more importantly,

I look at what the opposite is.

So for me,

It's like the opposite of self victimization is to take full responsibility for everything in my life.

And if I want a human being to rescue me,

Then the opposite of that is letting a loving higher power rescue me because that's the only way I get rescued is by that loving higher power with my own physical participation in that relationship.

The last thing that has been really helping me even when I miss my ex with like every cell of my body is I believe that if we're doing the work,

The spiritual work in front of us that we continue to grow.

And that when I first met my ex,

He blew my mind.

I never thought I would meet someone who had all of these incredible qualities.

And you know,

Before I met him,

I could not have conceived of meeting a man like that.

Like it melted my brain.

And I trust that if we're doing this work that we always get to level up.

And even though I don't know when or how or any of the details,

I do trust that in the same way the next person I fall in love with will like my brain cannot conceive of it right now.

You know,

Like I'm just I'm not ready for it yet,

You know,

But like I trust that when I meet that person,

That will be my experience again,

That it's going to be someone who is literally inconceivable to me right now.

And when it hurts,

And that doesn't feel like enough,

I just really take refuge in the spiritual path and knowing that if I keep doing the work on myself that I get to bring all of these experiences with me into the future and that really sustains me.

Thank you so much.

I really for I love all of that.

And I forgot one of my parts of my tool.

Oh,

Drop it in right now.

Instead of just my somatic own experience,

Which I hope you all can have and can get what you need.

I also found for everyone the most amazing thing.

It's the breakup survival dot guide.

So if you go to all one word,

Breakup survival dot guide,

It's from desks and money listeners,

Which is a favorite podcast of mine.

I've also linked it on our tools tab as well.

And it has over 400 suggestions of what to do what to listen to all those songs,

What to read,

What to watch.

I browsed and there were so many awesome things that listeners had put up there.

And it's one of my I send it to all of my friends who are going through the breakup and I have it on my favorites for me when it's my turn.

So thanks,

Everybody.

I think that this topic leads perfectly into our next topic.

Oh,

Thank God.

So our friend Susie from New York City.

Hello,

Susie.

Hi,

Susie.

Hey.

So we're going to do a topic on loneliness.

And I think it's going to be a great segue after the breakup episode because we get lonely when we're when we're in breakup mode and sometimes even when we're in together mode,

Sometimes in together mode.

That's almost worse or in single mode,

Whatever mode.

It's so so lonely.

Loneliness is here.

So let's talk about it.

Yeah,

It's going to be really sweet.

And we want you to come say hi to us on Instagram or at Pretty Spiritual Podcast.

We want you to come to our website,

Pretty Spiritual Podcast dot com.

We want you to go to Facebook Pretty Spiritual Podcast.

We want we would love it if you would review it.

It's a review if it feels fun and feels like a gold bath.

You know,

Because then we could all be together.

And this is how we find each other.

Please don't try the liquid gold hot tub trick at home because you will die.

You will scold yourself.

That was not a tool that we brought up.

That's a fantasy tool.

We can have fantasy tools.

There may be our visualization tools.

OK,

That's right.

Exactly.

We love it.

We don't take that one literally.

Yeah,

Don't be so it will hurt.

A great tool is to use your imagination.

And it's very expensive.

It's so much money.

I don't even know about it.

OK,

We'll have to look at a video after this.

Thanks,

Everyone.

We love you so much.

Bye вы

Reviews

Just what I needed! Thank you!

That was very insightful talk. I love how you guys synsethize the whole topic of break up, with your individual experiences and the tools you used in coming out a whole different person after the break up. Thank you for sharing it.

Loved it, super helpful

Thank you for your vulnerability and guidance. This truly hit me at the core but in the best way.

That was exactly what I needed right this moment to soothe my spirit and know that I am exactly where I need to be, feeling everything I need to feel. I’m so glad I discovered this episode. Thank you for all the breakup survival tools as well. I will definitely bookmark and share these with others who may need them. Sending love to anyone dealing with a broken heart right now. 💔 It is truly shattering 🙏🏾

I used to listen to your podcast regularly and kind of fell off from it a few months ago. I’m currently going through a breakup that is the single hardest thing I will have survived yet. I needed affirmation this morning and I am so glad I found this. It was like sitting around hearing from old friends with so much more experience than me. This really really helped me today, thank you guys, I appreciate you!!

Thank you for sharing. It was like being with best friends! Xoxo

What incredible honest valuable insight and vulnerable first-hand experience sharing. So much gratitude for you 3 ❤️✨🙏🏼

Thank you lovely ladies. I discovered your podcast last year whilst going through a brutal break up and so many episodes were so helpful. So wonderful that you have tackled this topic head on. I especially identify with the notion of loving oneself, something that I definitely wasn't doing in relationship. There is no way that I would want to go through what I did again...but I learnt and grew so much as a result, and continue to grow. And I have met somebody else and it is so radically different as we slowly, carefully, passionately find our way.
Jim Harrison was a very complicated man but he was full of wisdom for a life worth living, all the peaks and lows, bumps and bruises. Thank you again and keep up the wonderful work.

Wow. I have so much to say, so, imma edit it a bit.
The mirror is so powerful. Severing all ties to be able to heal and remembering why ending the relationship was the ONLY SAME THING TO DO. I literally have a list that I go back to in my journal when I’m having my really down days.
Poni, you made me cry. I didn’t realize that I broke up with my mom until you said it. Thank you. This will help me heal this very tender part of myself.
😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️

Loves these podcasts!❤️🙏🏼xx

It was good. I hear what you are saying. I just deep down struggle to find anything that I don’t like about this person. It’s was all surface crap and pressure I probably put on myself. I miss everyday more than she knows ❤️

Love the vulnerability you all are willing to show! Thank you 😊