Healthy Boundaries

In episode 25, we talk boundaries. How could something so uncomfortable possibly help take care of us? But we think all this discomfort is worth it. Why? Because when we take care of ourselves by setting healthy boundaries, we get freedom from resentment, anger, and victimization. How can we learn to set boundaries when we’re feeling the squeeze of saying no, ending a relationship, or defining our intended participation in one? Join us as we share the spiritual tools that help us through.

Transcript

Thanks for joining us here on Pretty Spiritual where we're attempting the unthinkable about how to navigate this messy,

Beautiful,

Imperfect life with spiritual tools,

Principles,

And our own personal stories.

So we're not experts,

We're not religious,

We're definitely silly.

We're honest,

Real,

And willing to share.

So join us as we connect,

Bond,

And grow together.

Hey.

Hi,

Guys.

Hey,

Everybody.

Welcome back.

So glad to be here.

Or am I?

You are.

You can tell.

Today we are going to talk about boundaries,

What they even are,

How they look in our life,

And some tools to go about dealing with them.

I'm Annie.

Hey,

Everybody.

I'm Lindsay Poney.

Hello,

I'm Ella.

I thought a nice way to start would be even talking about what boundaries are.

I think they're a word that we use a lot,

But sometimes maybe we don't know.

A therapist named Darlene Lancer had a really great breakdown,

And I will put this tool,

Or Ella will put this tool on our tools page on our website if you want to read more about it.

There are material boundaries,

Like what you're comfortable lending or sharing with other people.

Maybe that's clothes,

Your money,

Your car.

There are physical boundaries.

Are you a hugger or are you a handshaker?

How close is too close for people to stand?

Especially in elevators.

Oh,

Yes.

There are mental boundaries.

Do you know what you believe?

And can you hold onto your own opinions without being overly influenced by others or overly upset by others if they have different ideas than you?

There are emotional boundaries.

Oh,

Sticky.

This is containment of your own personal emotions,

Not feeling responsibility for others' emotions.

And when we have emotional boundaries,

It can help us from giving advice,

Although I'm really good at it.

Don't do it.

Accepting blame that's not ours to take or blaming others inappropriately.

Oh,

That's me.

That's me.

Where's mine?

You guys,

I feel so lost now.

Keep listening.

Okay.

Pro tip.

You are rooted in strong internal boundaries and knowing who you really are as an individual.

There are sexual boundaries,

The ability to communicate what,

Where,

When,

And with whom.

And then there are spiritual boundaries.

So making your own choices about what your relationship to your higher power means as opposed to somebody else telling you what it should look like.

So that's kind of a breakdown of boundaries.

That was really helpful.

Thanks,

Darling.

Oh my God,

I had no idea.

Yeah.

So if you're having a hard time with boundaries in your life,

For me,

For example,

A lot of them,

My challenges are with emotional boundaries.

Here might be some of the reasons you put others' needs and feelings first.

You don't know what you like.

You don't know what you don't like,

Or you don't know what you want,

Or you don't know what you need.

You feel that you don't have rights.

You believe setting boundaries jeopardizes relationships.

Or and you never learned to have healthy boundaries.

Do any of these ring a bell?

We can relate.

Sure can.

Collectively.

So that's why we're going to dive in and explore what boundaries look like in our life and then talk about some tools for setting boundaries.

Lindsay,

Why don't you share with us what boundaries mean and look like in your life right now?

It's so great that I get to go first because I am at the beginning.

Isn't that so nice?

It's great that I have these two lovely friends who when I need support or help,

I can call and be like,

Oh dear,

How will I ever express my actual want and needs when other peoples are so much more important than mine?

And that's what my boundaries looked like from the beginning of time until maybe last year.

My boundaries were really whatever your boundaries were,

Whatever you needed,

I would just move that boundary.

And I was always really listening to what I thought you wanted or needed so that I could comply with that.

There are many reasons for why you may not have boundaries like me.

The more enmeshed and codependent your family dynamics were,

The more difficult it will be for you to say no and hold your boundaries.

I did not know that I could seek within myself as to what would allow me to be safe,

Respected and free from harm.

And that's what I'm learning boundaries are.

For me personally growing up and in the household I grew up in,

That was not an option.

I did not know boundaries are created to remind us that feelings,

Behaviors and attitudes of others are separate from our own.

That seems crazy.

I'm still like,

No,

Those are all mine.

This is definitely all mine to clean up.

This is like active work today for me personally.

As a child I was desperate to help cure and fix my mother.

It was everything to me and I believed myself a failure in all the ways due to my inability to do the impossible.

For me,

Child logic lasts lifetimes and I'm really grateful for years of therapy and constant self-assessment to examine.

When I'm attempting to rewrite history and become the savior of everyone around me,

Believing I'm always the one needed to be fixing,

Solving,

Helping everyone in whatever way I perceive they need help.

Oh,

It's still my job to fix and solve and help everybody else.

So there's no way I can ever say no or check in with myself or see how these people's feelings and needs aren't my responsibility.

In letting that go,

I actually start to find that I have more choice.

There's more choice for me in what choices I want to make and that that can then lead to more discern,

Which is a piece that I'm at right now,

Which is actually finding choice and discernment inside that it's okay for me to have to.

.

.

Of course I have wants and needs and desires and that's okay.

I'm sorry.

I just knew I was going to trip out about this.

I'm grieving a little bit upon the realization that it's kind of sad that all this time I've been living and I've really lost my.

.

.

Whatever my sense of self is,

I haven't known it all this time and I've been really living to this kind of inauthentic life because it was so important for me to.

.

.

Whatever it was that I was trying to do,

I don't have to understand it.

I can just come to where I am today and bring in tools and I'll get to tools later on the tools part to show how I find and identify and seek within myself to see that it is okay to have wants and needs and desires and then to really listen to that voice and then come from that place,

Pro tip plug.

Last week was intuition,

So we're all just sliding right into where we need to be.

Okay.

Thank you,

Pony.

So much friends.

Yay.

Oh,

We love you so much.

I'm eating your blanket.

Yeah.

What a miraculous place to be to have an awakening that a shift is coming.

What about you,

Ella?

What are boundaries like in your life right now?

Thank you so much guys for this topic and Lindsay,

Thank you for all that you shared.

It was really helpful.

So how I used to live was totally separate from boundaries.

I had no idea what that word meant.

And for me it was like,

You know,

I would meet someone at a bar,

We'd have a little thing and then like the next day I would be like moving into their house.

It was really close to my like favorite hipster cafe.

So it was like a win-win,

You know,

And like they're allowed to have cats at their apartment and like it's all,

It's all working out,

You know,

The way I was living life was like flinging myself through my days in a just kind of like reckless haphazard way.

And so of course,

Boundaries weren't something I took notice of or something that I was interested in practicing.

And when I first started learning to set boundaries,

It was like Lindsay was expressing this really painful experience with self abandonment because it would be like I've abandoned myself and allowed another person to harm me.

I really learned to or the first time I was willing to set a hard boundary with someone and it was in a,

It was in an emotionally enmeshed situation and this person had been harming me and I finally saw how I was being manipulated and diminished and put down.

And so I was in enough pain that I was actually willing to set a firm boundary with this person who had been harmful and abusive.

And it was very messy.

When I first learned to set boundaries,

It was like there was no subtlety to it,

You know,

It was like I would put my hand out in front of someone's face and be like,

Stop,

I am setting a boundary with you,

You know,

Like there was no room to mistake it or and that was my experience usually with learning a new spiritual behavior is that I swing from extremes and so that was like,

That was the extreme of first learning how to set boundaries.

And one thing that people might experience when we first start setting boundaries is this phenomenon that our favorite lady Melody Beatty calls afterburn and it's this kind of like,

Most like emotional hangover feeling of like,

What did I do?

I'm not allowed to do that.

How bad,

How dare I like,

What are they thinking of?

Like we just get this like attack of codependency or whatever it is where where we feel like we're not allowed to have done what we just did.

And if you tried to set a boundary and that happened and you're like never again,

I just want to assure you that that has probably been part of all of our experience at some point with setting boundaries.

And so where boundaries started for me,

Which was this kind of like had to do a lot with the sort of like physical boundaries of like,

I will not have contact with you have shifted to be more internal boundaries and any what you shared at the beginning about the different types of boundaries was super helpful.

So in that language,

What the the boundaries I'm working with most now are type they fall under is emotional boundaries.

So they have to do with how the internal boundaries I have with myself that helped me know when and how it is appropriate for me to show up and be in relationship with other people and with myself actually.

Thank you,

Ella.

Boundaries are so funny.

Like Ella,

I had no idea what boundaries were.

I'm sure I heard the word probably I read books,

But I just had no clue.

No clue.

Book smart.

It probably wasn't until about six years ago that I started being something reasonably that I thought about or even entertained.

And one of my great qualities slash defects is I'm a people pleaser.

And as my life progressed,

That was a tool that was really helpful for me in a lot of ways.

And it got really overblown and distorted.

And to please people,

It's hard to please them when you're not giving them what they want.

So boundaries were hard to keep up with my grade a people pleasing moves.

And I like Ella had a relationship that really crossed a lot of boundaries and at the same time diminished.

I lost a lot of my sense of self worth.

And that was kind of in my early mid 20s.

And then also I had a drinking problem.

So oh my God,

Boundaries were just slow,

Just really eroded over time.

And then as I started on this spiritual journey and also started getting professional therapy,

Big fan for help with this boundary stuff,

Because it's so like Lindsay was sharing,

It's so murky and some of it's so woven in in strange ways.

And so to have a professional kind of guide me has been really illuminating.

And when I first heard the word codependent,

I was in my like probably early 30s.

And I really thought it was this like thing that only happened in the 80s.

Like I just had this like very like opinion about what the word was and who it applied to and it wasn't me and it wasn't relevant.

And now it's not something that I'm ashamed of.

It's just something that I'm like,

Oh,

This is actually part of how my behaviors have been shaped and that codependency is very much part of me not having strong boundaries.

And so as I learned tools to shift out of that,

Then I get to have boundaries because my worth isn't dependent on other people being happy.

And I start seeing how my worth is actually comes from me tending to myself.

And an example I think I've shared before,

But it was really striking to me because I had had a relationship with someone and it had been unhealthy on both sides,

Even though we were attempting to help each other.

And I had ended the relationship,

It had been mutually ended.

And then this person reached out kind of demanding a phone call back,

Like I need you call me back.

And my first instinct was like,

I must call back.

It doesn't matter whether or not I want to be engaged with this person or whether or not I want to hear them or the fact that last time we spoke,

They were actually pretty mean.

And I was with Lindsay as I heard this voicemail and she made this radical suggestion that totally blew my mind.

And she said,

You don't have to answer that voicemail.

You can in fact,

Delete it and never call back.

And I was like,

What?

You're so wrong.

We were on the way to the podcast recording and I seriously cried through the whole podcast recording unrelated to the topic because the idea of not doing what somebody wanted from me,

Right?

Like this person who we'd had a pretty intimate relationship,

Not sexually intimate,

But like emotionally connected.

And then it had had to be ended.

And then they had made a demand of me.

And even though I knew it wasn't good for me,

I was still like,

I need to be there.

I need to be of service.

I'm being called upon.

And Lindsay was like,

You don't have to.

She wasn't even make like making a rule.

She just made a suggestion,

But it turned my insides in out.

I just was gutted.

Like all my parts were like,

I can't knock.

I must.

But what if I don't?

And I was like,

Oh,

This is what it would be like to have a boundary.

And actually that's been about six months now.

And that situation was completely resolved.

But now I can actually do things like that.

And six months is a really small amount of time to be able to make that kind of shift.

But it's like,

I get these really hard lessons and then I have some tools that I've been using that we'll talk about and I get to not engage in the behavior,

Even when it feels like actually viscerally painful to not do it.

Like I think I might be rupturing the universe somehow.

And then I'm like,

Oh,

That's what a boundary feels like.

And then it feels good over time.

So with that,

Let's talk about our tools.

Lindsay Poney,

What tool are you working on right now?

Hello everyone.

Since I am such a resourceful,

Loving friend,

I'm going to share some tools with you from the holistic psychologist and also Oprah's life coach.

Can you believe that Oprah has a life coach?

Okay,

Great.

So that's the greatest.

The greatest tool I believe is resources because as you heard from me before,

I feel and believe that I'm in like the pre-rec class before you can even get to boundaries.

I'm going to give some examples of what boundaries sound like.

Here are some of those.

I'm not comfortable doing that for you.

I had to call someone for them to tell me how to say that.

I love practicing with people.

Yeah.

And that's part of this,

When we get to the end of it,

The support that's required.

That's just monumental and required.

So I'm not comfortable doing that for you.

Another one is,

If you text me,

I will text back at an appropriate time that works best for me.

What?

I know.

This is why I'm reading these and sharing them with you because I'm like,

Oh my God,

That's how you would say that?

It's such a new language for me.

Just seems so unheard of.

And it's really great to look at examples,

Look things up,

And research this type of stuff.

I won't be able to make it.

Simple.

I understand that you're angry,

But do not speak to me that way.

Oh my God.

I just like,

What?

You can even ask someone how they can talk to you.

So boundaries usually include an action.

So here's some examples of what that will look like.

So you can see that there's an action in there.

If this continues,

I won't be spending time here.

If you do not take care of your mental health and go to therapy,

We cannot have a relationship.

If you cannot respect what I am asking,

I will need space.

If you continue to pressure or attempt to guilt me,

I'm going to have to end this conversation.

Boundaries feel like confusing,

Terrifying,

Guilt written.

Gross.

So bad.

Those are what they sound like,

How they include an action and what they can feel like.

And then when you start to begin to implementing boundaries,

The more that you can let go of the disease to please and then drop the added guilt for me,

I really felt like added guilt just comes along when making a boundary.

So when I can see that guilt as a guide that I can see,

I can be like,

Oh,

You know,

Here's this guilt written feeling that can actually reinforce and tell me,

Oh,

Good job.

Good job.

Because that means you're just implementing a boundary right now.

This comes along with it.

It's going to feel what I can be uncomfortable and still be here.

I can be uncomfortable and state my boundaries.

I can be uncomfortable.

This can be hard and I can still stick to my boundaries.

A couple of questions I can ask,

How much of this is true about me?

How much of this is about the other person?

What do I need to do,

If anything,

To regain my personal power or stand up for myself?

Remembering when you put yourself first,

You are free of resentment and anger.

So push through any resistance.

And then the most important part I think at the end is to find support.

So I often call people when I can tell inside that maybe something doesn't feel right.

Usually when something doesn't feel right or I'm really like,

Oh,

That's where I can see there's some internal boundaries I need to investigate and learn.

And I can call a friend or a mentor and talk to them about it and then ask them,

How do I say this?

Or you can go through the list that I provided earlier and place in there what it could be for how you say something,

Have an action,

And then how to keep going forward.

And of course,

You can always email us.

We would love to hear from you and any kind of struggles you're having around boundaries or wondering if this is even a boundary.

My God,

Thank you.

Those are awesome,

Pony.

I love those lines that we can use.

Sometimes I just need a script.

I'm like,

I don't know what to say.

And then to just have this simple thing,

I could even type it in the notes on my phone and just.

.

.

I highly recommend.

One thing I really love to do is if I know I'm going to have a boundary icky conversation with someone,

I find a way to phrase my bottom line.

And then when it comes up,

I just keep saying it.

I repeat it over and over and over again.

I'm like,

I can't participate in that or whatever it is.

And I just get to keep repeating it.

Like,

That's the boundary.

That's so nice.

Practicing with a friend is helpful too.

Oh my gosh.

I can call before and be like,

Here's the line I'm going to say.

Say something really hard for me to say no to,

And I'm going to say this and then we'll just practice.

So then it's like I have the muscle memory in my throat.

Thanks for helping me with boundaries.

Ella,

Do you have a tool?

Oh,

I sure do.

For me,

The boundaries,

Like I said,

Have to do with this very kind of like subtle,

Not so subtle,

This nebulous kind of like internal state.

And the example that I can share is that I have a close friend whom I love very much and she needs a ton of support right now.

And I got pulled in,

In that kind of like codependency hooked way and felt what that felt like for me was like this real urgency,

Like Annie was describing of like,

It's not an option to not do this.

And I have to do it now.

I have to do it right now.

Getting to care take,

Which meant I was over overextending myself physically and emotionally.

By the way,

Having Lyme disease has helped me so much with setting boundaries because I don't when I don't set boundaries around my physical well-being,

I harm myself severely.

So what was happening for me with this person,

The pain of that relationship was that when I was trying to be available when I wasn't or overextending myself,

I was getting resentful.

And when I feel resentful,

I cut myself off from real love or connection or compassion.

And instead,

The feelings I have are fear,

Judgment,

Resentment.

And when I'm feeling those things,

I can't I can't show up for somebody in the way that would actually be helpful.

So I really like to check my motives that helps me cultivate an internal environment of safety because I've acknowledged whatever's there,

You know,

Like I want to rescue this person or it's my job to do this for them or they're asking me so I have like whatever is happening,

I just like to look at it,

Then here is my tool.

My tool is no one rescues anyone else.

And that sounds simple.

Maybe,

Maybe it doesn't.

For me,

I'm like,

I want to argue immediately,

You know,

But the willingness to not try to rescue someone comes from the pain that I put myself in and the harm that I cause both to myself and others when I try to put myself in a role where I don't belong.

For me,

There's like this very different feeling between being nice and being kind.

And if I'm being nice,

It's like,

Oh,

Everything's gonna be fine.

Everything will work.

You know,

It's like this kind of like pandering trying to like smooth over.

And if I'm being kind,

That means that I'm actually telling the truth.

Because I care about this person,

I care about our relationship.

And oftentimes,

The truth in these situations is uncomfortable.

It's uncomfortable to say,

I can't be in a relationship with you if this behavior continues,

Or I'm really worried about you.

And I need to take a step back if this doesn't change,

This behavior doesn't change.

And it's hard to say that.

But I also know that I also know that it's the truly kind thing to do is to tell the truth and to take care of myself appropriately inside of relationships.

So what happens for me when I use that tool of no one rescues anyone else,

Is that I can unhook myself from whatever the like,

Savior,

Martyr,

Rescuer role is that I think I'm supposed to occupy.

And I can take all the time and space I need until my heart feels available again.

And what that does for me is it,

It lets the fear and the resentment and the judgment dissipate because it reminds me that I'm not in charge of this person.

I'm in charge of myself,

My if I keep my eyes on my own paper,

I trust that life will keep moving forward however it needs to,

You know,

Like,

With along the lines,

I think it should or not,

It'll just keep going.

And when I remind myself that it's not my job to rescue anyone else,

And I respect my internal boundaries,

Instead of cutting myself off from being emotionally present and available,

I instead tap into this,

This inner resource that instead of like meeting out compassion and empathy,

Like very carefully to someone,

So I don't run out,

It means I'm tapped into this like,

This huge source of it,

This overflowing source where I can be loving in a way that I'm not controlling.

I can step out of the way and let go of my fears of what's going to happen,

What this person will think of me,

What I'll think of them.

And instead,

I can just give myself and the universe the room to move forward as it will.

And if I can ride the coattails of that,

Whatever it is,

That great goodness that is my higher power,

Then I trust I trust that everything will work out.

And when I'm when I'm tapped into that source,

That's when I can offer love in a way that's not hindered by my ideas of by my co dependent ideas.

And then I,

I let the rest go.

So easy peasy.

No big deal.

No bigs.

Thank you,

Ella.

I love hearing about the boundaries.

I have three tools.

The first one is investigate.

So how am I feeling when something happens?

And if my response internally to like a request or an interaction is that if I don't do X,

I'm scared that they'll be mad,

Or I'm scared they'll think I'm bad,

Or I think I'm bad.

Those are like my watch signs.

You know,

If my decision to act or do something is kind of based in wanting to avoid anger or guilt,

Then I'm typically crossing an internal boundary that I'm also trying to steamroll by ignoring.

So investigate,

How do you feel when something happens?

And this can be in you can do this stage as long as you need to just because you start noticing it.

And if you're not ready to act on it,

It doesn't mean that you're bad.

It just means you're still when we talked about the process and one of our earlier episodes,

You're still in the awareness stage.

The second part is acting as if and I think we've all been kind of talking about this.

Letting your external behaviors lead the way until your insides catch up.

So Ella was saying that when she first started having boundaries with people,

They were really clunky,

You know,

She would like make an announcement and put her hand out,

Just act as if you're okay having a boundary with somebody and act as if you're allowed to tend to your own true needs first,

And you might not even know what those are.

So that just takes practice to and like the tools and meditation and just investigation can help lead to that.

So act as if it's okay to say dinner,

No to dinner with someone that drains you,

Even if you're like,

But they don't have any friends because there's such a pain in the butt and I'm the only one who can go.

That's none of your business.

You're allowed to say no.

So you can act as if you can say no,

You can act as if you don't have to call someone back just because they called you and asked you for something might feel horrible inside,

Like your organs are screaming at you for upsetting the norm,

Your internal norm.

And that's okay.

Also therapy.

So it's okay if it looks clunky.

And what was so helpful to me is when someone told me I'm actually harming somebody else when I don't have a boundary with them,

I'm doing them a disservice when I don't let them have the experience of knowing,

Knowing what their world is actually like,

Because I'm trying to fix their world for them.

So if boundaries are really hard,

You may be suffering from low self-worth,

Which has been true for me in the past and filling yourself up with a little bit of love with this daily meditation might be a really preliminary and helpful baseline to building towards knowing that it's okay to have wants and needs and to take care of them.

And so I'm going to prescribe a daily meditate meta meditation and pony prescribed it to me when I was having a really super tender low period and feeling really murky.

And so she just said every day in your meditation,

Take time to do a meta meditation,

Which is a loving kindness practice.

But instead of doing the multiple steps where you start with yourself and then you go out to others and then you go out to the community,

Just do it to yourself.

Just fill up this well,

Do it for a month.

I'm not busting you around,

But do it for a month and you will just repeat to yourself.

May I be filled with loving kindness?

May I be safe from inner and outer danger?

May I be well in mind and body?

May I be at ease and happy?

And like this just kind of this gentle way to build up inside this knowledge that your experience was worthwhile and that it's really reasonable to have boundaries.

Tada.

So soothing.

So we pretty much solved boundaries.

Done.

Check it off the list.

I have a feeling that it is life's work.

So go ahead and just wait for those slow motion miracles and tiny itty bitty slow,

Slow,

Slow steps towards wellness.

Maybe.

I don't know.

While we think about that,

I'm going to read a quote from Melody Beatty from her book,

Language of Letting Go.

We don't have to feel guilty or apologize or explain ourselves after we've set a boundary.

We can learn to accept the awkwardness and discomfort of setting boundaries with people.

We can establish our rights to have these limits.

We can give the other person room to have and explore their feelings.

We can give ourselves room to have our feelings as we struggle to own our power and create good working relationships.

Once we can trust our ability to take care of ourselves,

We will develop healthy,

Reasonable tolerance of others.

And here's her little prayer.

God,

Help me begin striving for healthy boundaries and healthy tolerance for myself and others.

That's so nice.

Let us know if you have any topics you'd love for us to cover.

Let us know.

We always love suggestions.

We would love that so much.

Contact us on our webpage,

Prettyspiritualpodcast.

Com.

And we'll see you next week.

Yay.

We love you.

Thank you so much.

Reviews

Thank you very much, group. I'm in the phase of sort of being torn between my past lack of boundaries and the guilt of learning to create them now, it's a bit of an internal struggle but I have the life experience to be able to reassure myself that it IS necessary, and the word selfish has only been applied to me as a means of manipulation. I am to know myself, love myself, and act accordingly. That seems like a big task but it's worth it.

This was so powerful & I related to so much that was said. I am conquering the disease to please thanks to a wonderful therapist. Thank you.

So helpful!! I'm going to listen again and again until I can comfortably practice.

As a somewhat introverted and quiet person, sometimes these podcasts are too chatty for me. However, this one was right on and I learned so much. Thank you.

Wow wow wow wow!! Holy crap this was absolutely amazing. This was so entertaining, enlightening and inspiring. I have huuuuge boundary issue and this podcast had me ride through it and it was uncomfortable but the leading out was so beautiful and I feel whole. I feel one breath closer. Thank you. 🙏

Loved this soo much ❣️❣️

Thank you ladies for breaking down boundaries 🕉️🙏🧘‍♀️🕉️🙏

Fantastic talk- left me with a little pure gem of clarity to get me through the day, eased a worry I’m dealing with

Easy to listen to with clear messages and scripts to work with.... great stuff! Thank you!

I’m in the uncomfortable place of setting some much needed boundaries. I found this talk very reassuring and real. I’m now feeling more comfortable 😊and seeing this time as a place of self care and growth .Thank you ladies 💕

Super helpful. Do you have a follow up on what tools help when people just flat refuse to acknowledge that you count, too, that you get to gave boundaries? My boundaries with those who repeatedly cross my very reasonable boundaries is going No Contact. It helps, but I gotta admit the Christmas card list is growing thinner and thinner the less crap I take. 😉😎

That was absolutely perfect for me. I stumbled upon this today. I.am going to listen to it again and again and again. Bless you two.

So much great information. I will have to listen again and take notes. Thank you

This was a really good discussion, I plan to listen again and take notes!

What an absolutely incredible talk about something so important and not taught!! Thank you ladies for your vulnerability in sharing your own experiences, that REALLY helped me feel like I am not alone in this. The topic is incredibly explained; I am already sharing it with lots of people, including my therapist so she can pass it on!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Thank u so much. I can relate to everything you talked about.

Have been following these wonderful souls for a while, love love love their voices helping calm me down and think about why I'm so upset for no reason. Setting boundaries is so hard,I've listened to this podcast so many times and have almost found my boundary voice. Thanks for using your voices ;) I appreciate you

Brilliant! So helpful and I could really relate to so much of what you talked about. Thank you.

that was brilliant, warm & funny & truly helpful! thank you so much 💕

Thank you for laying it all out so plainly and sharing your experiences. Wow! So helpful.💚

So helpful! For many years I didn't know that I had the right to make myself a priority and it's hard to break the habit 🙏🏼