Finding Wholeness Within

Let's celebrate our growth! We've practiced, prayed, tried, failed, stood tall, and tried again. With all this inner work, let's also acknowledge our growth and integration. By integration, we mean the ways over this year we've incorporated new tools, behaviors, habits, perceptions, intentions. As we integrate, we merge the old and new to become ever more whole. As the year ends, we look back, recognize, and celebrate our aspirations and intentions and our hard work on our journeys to wholeness.

Transcript

You've arrived at Pretty Spiritual Podcast where we share our spiritual journeys to empower yours.

Come on in.

Yeah,

Okay!

No,

Seriously,

Come in.

Hello.

Hey!

Annie loves to say hello.

I do.

She always tells me that.

So this is us saying hello.

Welcome everybody to Pretty Spiritual,

In case you didn't know,

I'm Lindsay Poney.

I'm Annie.

And we are so glad,

Obviously,

To be here.

We are.

Today,

We are going to talk about integration.

Ooh,

What is that?

I'm serious.

You know,

I had to look it up when my somatic therapist brought it up.

Oh,

How we learned.

Isn't it so nice?

So thank goodness.

So obviously I'm so into it now.

Yes.

So we just have to share.

New trend.

So when we talk about integration,

It's about integrating all the new tools,

Behaviors,

Habits,

Perceptions,

Intentions,

Our new way of life and making the old part and the new part whole.

A new way of being,

Living,

Understanding,

And for me,

Especially loving.

So being the spiritual podcasters that we are,

We have pondered many ways to heal ourselves this year.

Oh,

So many.

And boy,

You know,

I especially needed to be better,

Healed well,

All the things yesterday and as soon as I learned a new tool.

And so with integration,

One of the things I wanted to talk about right at the top is everyone,

Let's just take a little gentleness break.

Oh,

I love a gentleness break.

They're so important.

And you know,

I just don't have time for it.

Oh no.

Oh my God.

Are you kidding me?

I have a timeline to keep up with.

And time for integration.

What do you mean?

I learned this stuff and it's here.

Boom.

I'm done.

Of course.

So patience is boring.

With this in mind,

Like I teach the three year old,

I say,

We got to find your patience.

And he's like panting.

And I'm like,

Patience is just deep breathing.

And so now when I remind him,

Let's find our patience.

I hear him go.

So if the three year old can learn this,

So can we.

Yes.

So I hope that we've all just had a moment where we can really be proud of that we're even here right now.

You know,

We're wanting to look at ourselves.

We're willing to look at the shadow parts and the things that really and truly we're hoping or maybe we are even outgrowing or ready to grow.

With all this inner work,

We wanted to share what integration looks like for us.

We're going to discuss our main healing work for this year,

How we feel more complete as we integrate our new way of being with our past selves.

As a bonus at the end of the episode,

We also asked listeners and people who are part of our online social media community,

What integration during 2020 has looked like for them on their spiritual journey.

And so we're going to be sharing some of their answers because there is so much gold and wisdom in this group.

Absolute gold and wisdom.

You said it so well.

I highly recommend if you use Instagram or Facebook for only one thing,

It's for the wellness that's there.

I'm really blown away by our listeners in the community.

So thank you all so much for sharing that.

And right now let's get into what integration is like for us.

Annie,

Do you want to start?

I would love to.

Oh good.

In preparation for this episode,

When Pony suggested it,

I went back and I looked at all the episodes that we've recorded during 2020 and there was 19 and there's been so many things that have happened parallel.

Like clearly we're in a long standing global pandemic.

There's been this huge call to action around racial injustice and working towards educating myself to be a better advocate for racial justice.

And also the chaos and unrest of the political cycle in 2020 during the elections in the United States.

So it's just been,

Wow,

A lot going on.

Yeah.

Not to mention my feelings and emotions internally.

Not to mention my feelings are fragile.

This is compounding.

It's just helpful for me to continue to put those things into context because all the work that we've been doing this year,

There's this added external stress and fear and heightened emotional situations that just kind of bring everything up to the surface even more.

Lindsay,

You mentioned shadow work,

Like all that stuff that's kind of happening underneath my subconscious gets tripped into a higher gear when the outside world is going wild.

Yeah,

Collectively it truly is.

Yeah.

Yes.

It's also so much love to our black listeners and people of color and trans listeners and anyone else who has any kind of marginalized experience because above and beyond what I may have been going through,

There's other groups that have so much more challenges to face.

So I just want to acknowledge that too of what a challenge 2020 has been and here's our hope for a more peaceful 2021 or at least more tools within so we have that peace inside.

So with my very long contextualizing of this year,

I looked back at the episodes that we had recorded and I also realized that over half of them were during season one when Ella was still recording with Pretty Spiritual Podcast and I just wanted to also acknowledge and honor her voice and her work and all her spiritual journey that she shared with listeners.

So in season two,

It's Pony and I,

Which is also sweet,

But 2020 did encompass both seasons.

So I just wanted to honor that and call it out.

So for me,

The episodes when we're thinking about integration and looking back over the year and the themes that I have consistently worked on and that when I take time to reflect and see how am I different,

Where was I really struggling,

Where have I grown,

You know,

What can I celebrate,

What is actually happening within me that maybe sometimes I might not even notice until I take time to think about it.

The themes and the episodes that related with that were Feeling Overwhelmed,

The episode about courage and the episode about affirmations.

And so for me,

The undercurrents of those that I was working on throughout the year and I have really felt this integration,

Like understanding that there's a deficit or a place I want to address,

Getting new tools,

Actively using those tools.

And then now looking back over the course of the year,

Really seeing that I have changed was being quicker to notice overwhelm.

You know,

Just I didn't even have that capacity for a while.

I would just be like,

Oh,

I guess I'm just going to run around and panic,

You know.

And so just the other day,

We in the Bay Area,

We've gone down on another strict lockdown around COVID.

And it's reasonable,

You know,

To keep people safe.

But I wasn't acknowledging that it had also stressed me out.

And all of a sudden,

I had this,

I started getting my kind of fuzzy brain going on.

And I was doing like half tasking,

You know,

Where I'm like,

I'm going to start a mess over here.

And I'm going to run to the other side of the house,

Do another thing.

And everything's going to feel real chaotic.

And I'm going to feel really flustered.

And I realized I paused and I had my hand on my heart.

And I was like,

Oh,

Annie,

You are overwhelmed right now.

And because I've been practicing how to minimize that or how not to not be in that,

I actually took that day.

And then the next three days,

I talked to my wife and I was like,

Hey,

I want to let you know I'm in a state of overwhelm.

I feel really flustered.

I'm going to shrink my schedule down.

And I canceled some plans.

I pulled back some meetings,

I rescheduled some things so that I had less interactive and social time because I know that I love those things.

But also they use up a lot of my juice.

And when I'm running on low,

I can get flightier and flightier the more juice I expend.

And I really I kind of didn't even think about it.

And then a day and a half later,

I was like,

Oh,

That was me having integrated tools of seeing overwhelm,

Calling in for help,

And then also utilizing resources that I know helped me take care of it.

So boundaries have been the theme of 2020 for me.

We talk about them all the time on here.

We talk about internal boundaries and external boundaries.

And we have a great episode,

A great couple episodes where we just really dive into them.

But for me,

There has been so much work about even acknowledging that I have boundaries inside that I adhere to myself,

And that I am also allowed to have boundaries with the outside world,

Whether or not other people appreciate them.

It feels actually miraculous to me,

The level of conversations that now I can have almost with ease and they seem reasonable.

You know,

I'm like,

Of course I'm allowed to say this or do this or ask for that.

And I didn't have that piece inside of me at the beginning of this year.

And I wanted it and I heard people talking about it.

And it terrified me.

I just,

This is why the affirmations episode plays into it so much.

A lot of the reason that I didn't trust that I could have boundaries was there was this deficit of like true trust and love in myself.

And so filling up that deficit with affirmations,

Love,

Care,

Regardless if I make a mistake,

Regardless if someone might be upset,

Regardless if I disappoint myself,

Just to continuously like shower myself with care and affection.

That coupled with,

Shout out to somatic therapist,

Like having tools and a professional to kind of help me,

But also talking with all of you listeners,

Talking with Lindsay,

Talking with my other friends on this journey and just like working on it,

Attempting it.

And it's hard and scary and then it gets less hard and scary.

So that's been really amazing.

And then the last part of what has been integration for me and also what ties in with all these pieces is relying more on my higher power.

And that's something that I,

A large reason why I make this podcast and the spiritual journey I'm on is it's such a strange struggle and journey for me.

I always question it and I kind of wrestle with it in my mind.

But as I do that,

It's like a really hard yoga pose.

You know,

My brain's like,

I'm super uncomfortable.

No,

I'm never.

But at the same time,

My muscles are lengthening.

There's more ease coming.

So even though my brain is still fighting it,

There's more and more relaxing into it over time that's occurring.

And it becomes more of a natural movement and more of an easy muscle memory,

Like a spiritual muscle memory,

Right?

To know that I can lean into this higher power.

And it's not just for one thing.

It's not just for one area of my life.

But it actually can encompass everything.

That's a broad overview of the big themes that I have been working on in 2020.

And then the sense that I,

All those areas have grown and I feel more ease.

And I just also want to acknowledge that mental health is a totally a part of my journey.

And professional help is crucial for me in that regard.

I just felt like saying that,

Because I know so many people,

Especially during 2021.

Gosh,

Everything's just flipped into 2020.

It's not even 2021 yet.

Holy cannolis.

I'm like jumping.

But we're all so very glad that you brought up mental health because we just can't pretend.

We can't pretend.

We can't pretend.

Yeah,

We shouldn't.

Yeah.

I'm so glad that we get to talk about it.

Yeah.

It's important.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I did a lot of obsessive thinking in 2020.

Like unhealthy teetering into questionable mental health,

Obsessive thinking.

And I'm so grateful for medical help.

And by that,

For me,

I mean medication and therapy because this was a lot this year.

And so I was using all those spiritual tools,

But for me,

I also needed brain assistance.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's integration,

I guess,

Mental wellness,

Leaning on my higher power,

Practicing boundaries,

And just really attending to overwhelm,

Really like respecting it and being like,

Oh,

This is legitimate.

You don't have any more.

How can we slow it down and just take care of the little tender flower?

I feel like you took so much of what I've been trying to say in this episode.

And you really explained a lot really personally.

And I'm so grateful.

And then naturally my mind's like inferiority,

You have nothing to say.

And it's so great that I have some awareness about that right now.

And I can drop into myself and I can acknowledge it and have space for it and be so glad that the podcast is doing what it's supposed to do.

And that is that we get to grow and share and maybe help others.

And that's the goal.

And so with integration for me this year has definitely been getting to see who I've been in the past and how that echo and resonance and that environment plays a role in how I respond today before simply reacting.

And today having the space to take a beat and consider all of this and respond in the way that I would like to respond today instead of habitual automatic overreactions for someone like me.

And so that's taken a long time to just like talking about shadow work like this is it's a big shadow and it's painful and it's hard to go in there and it's dark and it's cold.

And we do it together and it feels a lot lighter.

So I liked how you talked about what episodes we did that harken back to what's still speaking to me or what's kind of helped me along the way.

And for me the feeling feelings episode,

The self love and then the perfectionism are really kind of a distilled down to areas that needed a lot of attention,

A lot of tools,

A lot of therapy,

A lot of practice,

A lot of missteps,

If you will.

I really feel within the areas where I'm struggling in perfectionism in not feeling my feelings in self hatred is where I get the most experience and I get to learn and grow in there.

And so I'm grateful for those areas.

So my main healing work has been self love through reparenting techniques.

So validating affirming and having compassion for these areas that before I pushed away,

I acted as though they weren't there.

And those were my strategies at the time that I thought would help me because maybe they did before.

And it's so wonderful to have some space and some time and be able to drop in and validate what's going on for myself,

Bring compassion in,

Bring in self love,

Validate my feelings that are happening.

And how much space grows within there.

A lot of this work is letting go of my controlling and my managing and the belief that I'm not safe and that I must hold on really tightly leaving me in a really contracted space.

Also what's been really helping me is recognizing my past childhood logic and thinking,

Being addicted to fear,

Unworthiness,

And allowing my inner critic,

My catastrophizing fortune telling underlying it,

There is this belief that I'm not safe.

And that another really loud part of that is that I can't take care of myself.

And as with reparenting,

And when I was a child,

A lot of that was true.

So this is an echo and a resonance that is still happening in my life that kind of has me stutter stepping within this realm unconsciously.

And it sounds strange,

Or maybe it's kind of embarrassing to admit or it's confusing that a part of me hasn't integrated that I'm safe,

That I can get my needs met,

That my needs,

My wants,

My desires matter.

And the big kicker here and the part that I'm integrating right now is that I supply them.

This is an inside job.

So the parts that I've been working on are I supply my self love.

The ways that I do this are things that I'll talk about like in the tools are mirror work,

Affirming my inner self,

Encouragement and being the coach slash cheerleader that I am for every person in my life and turning that around.

And the mantra that keeps coming up for me deep in meditation is for me by me,

Recognizing that I am everything that I need and want and that I supply my self love supply.

These are all pathways that I've been trudging that I find myself actually what it looks like in practices.

I catch myself.

Okay,

That's enough.

You catch yourself what?

I just can't like,

I'm not there.

You know,

I'm like in the middle of integration right now and I'm trying to vocalize and explain it and I can't.

So I just catch myself.

Oftentimes what it looks like is I'm in this dance of I'm living in the past of I'm not safe.

I can't do this.

And I get a view like a God's eye view.

You know,

I'm up high that gets to see myself living in this old way.

And then there's the moment and this expansion.

So I'm like contracted and small and afraid.

And then I get to see this bigger outer view.

And I remember the tools,

The pathway where I'm trying to be at all of the ways that it is it is I I am here now this wiser version of myself that gets to drop in and reach out and reparent and tell that younger part of myself,

I am here.

I love you.

I have you we've got this and I really appreciated how you brought in like this higher power.

The divine connection is what I like to think of it.

The connector that takes all of these pieces my past and where I'm trying to be also with the like gentleness break and the bigger holder of it all.

And that kind of helps.

Sometimes I just relax in the hammock.

It's like this big hammock that tells myself I don't have to hold on so tightly to my rigorous control and managing of things that I actually get to relax here in this higher power hammock where it has it it's holding me.

And oftentimes that puts me in a freefall of fear because I dropped back into my old I've got to control manage hold it all together because I'm not safe,

Etc.

And then the hammock flips and it's like a parachute and higher power reminds me when I fully let go,

I am taking care of and it's this new way of living and being that feels like a freefall as I'm integrating these new ways of being,

I guess I love it.

Thanks for helping me.

As you're talking about the different parts in the past and the present,

I was thinking of how integration in the sense that we're talking about the opposite is like,

Integrated versus fragmented.

So it's like these bits and parts that we've compartmentalized and kept tucked into our body or emotional memory wherever and then through the healing work,

We're like,

It's safe now to bring all the pieces together.

Yeah.

I have the capacity,

I have the emotional wellness to witness it all as one cohesive piece.

There's room for it.

Mm hmm.

And,

And I,

And I'm still safe.

Right.

And that's why when we talk about shadow work and like the yin and the yang is the light and the dark and how there's a piece of each of it as we integrate.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's so cool.

So thank you.

Yeah.

Well,

We're moving right along.

We are moving.

We're doing it.

I feel like we're at the tools section now.

Oh,

Thank goodness.

Thanks,

Lindsay.

I love it.

Thank you.

This is great because you guys,

I just did about 14 false starts,

So we're both pretending I'm speaking fresh.

My basic tool is practice,

Which sounds boring and also perhaps annoying,

But I have found that that has been what I have had to do around affirmations,

Boundaries,

And my relationship with my higher power.

It's the repetition in the act of trying these things with gusto,

Even if they feel awkward,

Even if they're really scary,

And practice paired with partnership,

I guess,

From other people who are trying these things too.

So boundaries by themselves,

I kind of need coaching.

I found a spiritual mentor who is really focused on being integrated in herself,

Self-love,

And having healthy boundaries with herself and others because I wasn't sure how to do those things by myself,

And I needed some guidance.

So I'm able to practice in a safe way,

Get kind of feedback and direction.

So that has been really helpful for me,

And it's just practicing.

It's scary and hard at first.

And the internal boundary,

Which has been really,

Really crucial,

Is the awareness that I am a person unto myself with my own value,

Opinions,

Beliefs,

Understandings,

Joys,

And that just for existing,

I get to have value.

And that's a boundary in my brain because I'll start to morph out of that into another place where I'm like,

Other people are so much more important than me.

Yeah,

Exactly.

And it's really sneaky and subtle,

So I just kind of have to keep bringing myself back upright and say,

No,

Annie,

Actually,

It's okay that you love these silly books.

That's great.

No one needs to approve of it.

Or,

Oh,

You can,

Whatever it is,

Whatever it is,

It's okay that you said that.

Or it's okay.

Just come back to the fact that I'm just a person.

So it plays into the affirmations as a tool and practicing the affirmations because like we said in our affirmations episode,

I really was not a big fan and I just had to practice them.

It had to be awkward.

It had to be uncomfortable.

I had to use other people's affirmations for the first couple months because I didn't really know how to write them or what to say.

I just had to print out that other people had used.

And now I have my own that I can say to myself.

I found some on Insight Timer that I love.

There's one from,

I've said this a couple of times,

I love Theta Thoughts.

They've got great affirmations,

Meditations,

But we were talking about the process of healing and integration and how messy and frustrating it is.

And there's this one little mantra and it says,

Patients take strength and I am strong.

Patients take strength and I am strong.

So it's like as I go through this journey,

As I'm imperfect,

As I think this is the Annie I should be,

I'm ready.

I got my timer going off.

I'm late.

I'm late MFers.

Yeah.

I can say,

Oh,

Patience is a strength and I'm strong.

And actually this is part of my journey.

And then the practice too with the higher power is just showing up to it every day.

I have some new prayers that I have found that are really gentle and I write them out.

I leave them on my desk so I can see them all the time.

And I just practice trusting my higher power.

There's this line from this really beautiful prayer and it said,

Make new this day as I release my worries and fears,

Knowing you are by my side.

So I can say that in the morning and be like,

Just for today I can release my worries and fears.

Cause I don't think that they're pretty important.

So I'm like letting them go seems dangerous,

But just for today.

And so all those pieces together for me have been the tools that I have been using to kind of integrate.

I'm a person of value.

I'm allowed to take up space in this world.

I'm allowed to have boundaries for myself and others.

And I have the resource as a result of leaning on a higher power,

Which I practice leaning on.

So that's what's up with you,

Lindsay pony.

What are your tools?

Oh,

Okay.

As you're talking,

One of my biggest tools right now,

It's just one simple word and it's called presence.

And I have been finding so much relief in healing in the presence with myself.

And this has a lot to do with the re-parenting which has been so helpful for me and just life changing.

A quote that I want to read right now is you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked.

Try approving of yourself and see what happens.

Radical.

It's called Louise L.

Hay and it totally is radical.

And previously I did not have the presence to hear the inner critic and the environment that I was creating within myself by myself for myself.

And I had thought that if I hated myself and berated myself enough,

Then I would be better.

And it was just misguided.

And to have the type of presence with myself now that is nurturing and loving and validating and compassionate has been life changing for me.

And it's taken a lot of practice and maybe the first year was just contempt at the idea.

And now being able to realize when I'm needing that and drop in and give it to myself is really,

Really monumental.

There's lots of tools to kind of get this going.

You talked about affirmations already.

And another one that really upset me,

So I'm going to bring it up,

Is mirror work.

I'm sure we've talked about this.

Okay.

Well,

Here it goes again.

Oh,

Hey there.

Hi.

So there's many ways of doing mirror work and I just wanted to bring it up again because things that I really don't like,

I think are the finger pointing of where I need to go.

You know,

Where the discomfort is,

Is where I need to kind of stretch out and learn to grow in there.

Today there was this song that came on and I singing love songs to myself.

Ooh,

That's fun.

So when I like really,

When you hear one of those love songs that you get so moved by and maybe you go through the Rolodex in your mind of all the ways and all the people and all the animals,

All the things that you've loved and that this talks to instead really,

Really directed at yourself.

And I was moved to tears today.

That's how like profound it felt to feel that type of love for myself.

So that was another thing that just happened for me this morning.

Just a quick little example of relaxing in the abundance of getting my needs met.

And some of the things that you were talking about with your tools is we,

So let's say we implement new boundaries or we implement a new tool.

We try a new thing.

I thought that if I did that,

Then I was going to feel really good right afterwards.

Oh yeah,

It's going to be awesome.

Things are going to be fixed and fine.

And I just want to share my experience that it hasn't been that way.

No,

It's usually kind of sucky at first.

It was really,

Really uncomfortable.

And for me,

I,

When I talk about relaxing in the abundance of getting my needs met,

I recently put in a big ask with my job.

And I would say a huge request.

And I didn't get verbal or written or any kind of confirmation,

But they had,

They did start doing what I asked.

And I actually was behaving in the way that my needs weren't getting met.

So I was stuck in this loop of believing my needs weren't getting met and then having this somatic contraction and like,

And being in fear.

And then my mind would actually replay out my needs not getting met.

And so I was living in the fear that I'm going to be fired.

They're going to do this and just living in this loop.

And I,

It took me working with my somatic therapist for her to show me that I had,

I was stuck because I was believing that my needs weren't getting met and then living from that space.

So it's a very powerful what our mind and what our body do and to get connected within there.

So my mantra of relaxing in the abundance of getting my needs met is actually a very physical thing where I see that they're getting met and then I drop into my body and I say the mantra and I see what it feels like to have them being,

Getting met.

So then I have the previous of what it's felt like,

Let's say for my,

For my young childhood of that not happening,

How I lived there and perpetuated that.

And then even when my needs are being met,

I'm actually stuck in because I haven't integrated that this is happening.

So this is a personal story.

I'm not sure if it's going to make sense for you,

But for me with the practice piece of going back and seeing that this is how I lived previously.

This is how I'm integrating it now and like what I'm doing and then getting to relax in the moment of,

Oh,

It is okay.

And some of the things that I say to myself when I noticed myself picking up the fear in the story that my needs can't be met,

I do my inner self love and reparenting work.

And then so I talked to that younger part of myself and I say,

Oh,

Lens,

I see you,

I see that you're so frightened and that you remember when your needs weren't met and that they weren't important.

But I'm here now and I've got you and I'm taking care of our needs and I'm making sure that our needs are getting met.

You're being met right now.

Do you see?

Can you see this?

And I tell I say,

Your needs matter.

They're important.

I hear them and I am the one that is going to make sure that we see that they're getting met and that they are.

And so that's just kind of a little what this reparenting looks like in practice for me.

So I love that.

Oh,

Good.

And it's the practice.

We keep trying these things and doing these things and making note of the feelings and trying again and doing again.

And this is how we slowly become whole with what we were before,

Where we're trying to be and where we are now is my guess.

And so with that,

Let's also talk about some of the things that our listeners shared are sharing about integration.

Can I say one thing really quick that I thought of?

Say it all.

When we were talking about unmet needs,

It made me think of my experience,

Not in the context of reparenting,

But having unmet needs because for some reason,

I don't think that my needs have value or at the very core of it that I don't.

And it's so silly because if you met me,

You'd be like,

Of course she thinks she has value.

But there was this dark spot in me that was operating from this place that I couldn't push back,

Ask for things.

And so I would just hope that the other person would meet my needs,

But I was behaving in a way,

Like you said,

Where why would they?

Because either it's a comfortable dynamic and or they.

.

.

Who knows?

None of my business.

But it's so interesting to think about then when I start to acknowledge that I have value,

That my needs are important and that the most important thing is tending to myself,

Then I can ask my needs to be met directly as opposed to what my somatic therapist calls it and what I did for most of my life is getting it through the back door,

Which is like,

I'm just going to slide through here and I'm just going to create a situation where you might notice what I need and then.

.

.

But I don't have to ask for it directly because I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable or myself.

So I'm just going to hope that you give me the thing.

That's controlling and managing- And manipulative.

That's right.

And people pleasing for the relationships to get our needs met when we are the ones that.

.

.

The only ones that can supply and do that.

And reparenting,

I didn't understand the wording before,

But it's really sweet to think of yourself as you are the family.

You are the family within yourself.

There's all different ages and types of people and you get to be.

.

.

It's just such a nice little framework now that I learn about it.

I love that.

Yeah,

It helps me.

So let's hear from our very brilliant listeners.

I'm going to read Marnie's.

This was during her post breakup evolution,

Her mantra of,

And yet I feel other ways too.

This helped her with analyzing her boundaries and needs,

Recognizing,

And then she has two theories.

I love this so much.

I'm going to read it all.

I don't care.

So the black ball theory is a person,

A situation,

Or an activity.

If it sometimes makes their life hellaciously bad,

Then that person,

Activity,

Or situation is unacceptable all the time.

And the acceptance is key theory.

If a person's situation is basically okay and sometimes rewarding,

Then it is destructive for me to complain or be controlling about the parts that I don't love.

And so she said,

There is not an exact math for life,

But compensatory strategies for containing extremes are helpful.

And Marnie,

Thank you for just,

Wow.

We love it.

So our friend Carolyn shared that she uses continuous prayer and meditation and these things help her inspire trust and self-compassion along with the faith to make big shifts and dream a different dream for herself.

So integration into her new transition has been complex and tough at times.

I have to know personally,

She made a big move across the country and she said sometimes it requires for her at one moment at a time,

One half hour at a time to surrender to the divine.

But in practice,

She feels loved and held.

Thanks Carolyn.

I love this one.

Toho perhaps talked about releasing sexual ties with partners,

Reclaiming sexual sovereignty over their body,

Recognizing the toxic relationships and patterns from exes that they thought they deserved and in short,

Reclaiming the power in your womanhood.

Yeah,

We love it.

Oh my gosh.

So good.

What a wonderful integration to have.

Yeah,

Thank you for bringing that up.

So great.

This is from Julie.

She shared that her word that came to her for 2020 was collaboration and as a result,

She really noticed an integration in her professional life and she's been doing a lot of speaking about shadow,

Lucid dreaming and lucid living.

And she does this by sharing her own processes of integration.

So thank you Julie for sharing that.

Awesome.

And classic queen Tabitha,

Aka Tabs,

Talked about self-awareness,

Helping to recognize defensive negative behaviors,

Recognizing emotions and asking,

How does this serve me?

Oh,

Nice.

Mary uses journaling and post-it notes.

We hear you girl.

Oh,

So many.

So many.

I have a book for my post-it notes.

You do?

Yeah,

I put them in there.

I love that.

Is it like a binder or how is it?

It's just,

It's so because they would,

They,

As you can see your posts,

They lose their stickiness.

So then they're just like on the floor or wherever.

So it's just a simple,

Easy book that I put them in there.

Oh,

I love that.

Oh yeah.

And then the last one I was hoping that you could bring up because it was the first one that I read and I don't know where it is,

But she talked about integrating her emotions.

Okay.

Well,

There were so many good ones and it's hard to keep them all track of them.

Highly recommend connecting with us on the internet.

If that feels nourishing to you,

I only do it for spiritual matters.

So because oftentimes social media does not feel nourishing.

So take care of yourselves and definitely come and join us on there.

There's really great people who have so much to share and we appreciate you all so very much.

And if you commented and somehow we missed it in the mix,

We apologize and we celebrate what you have been working on.

And for those who didn't share,

But are listening,

We really also just want this to be hopefully a spark for you to celebrate and acknowledge all the hard work you've done over this year.

First of all,

Just surviving period.

And second of all,

Being on a spiritual journey.

Doing this work,

Whatever it looks like,

Whatever your attempts,

What a miracle.

We're on the path.

Amazing.

Here we are.

You're doing it.

We're doing it.

That's right.

We all rise together.

Yeah.

So this is a celebration.

Just,

We have so much joy in our heart to be on this journey with you.

So thank you.

That's right.

Thanks everyone.

See you next time.

Bye Bye

Reviews

Magic✨ many light bulbs (ah-ha moments) went off during this conversation. It's such a beautiful thing when you can see yourself in others. Ps. We are ALL in this Together❤🙏 thank you!!

Excellent ladies. Here’s to health and happiness in 2021!! 💟

So good!!! So wise. So poignant. So powerful! Love listening to you both. Delighted to have found you on IT! A long time listener. 🙏🥰👍💫