Affirmations For Self Love

Friends! This episode talks about affirmations for cultivating self-love. We talk the science of affirmations, recognizing and counteracting negative self-talk, and filling our self-love well when it’s running empty. We share about our previous skepticism with the practice of affirmations, how emotional pain brought us the willingness to try, and—lo and behold—how they actually work for us, too! Join us for spiritual tools, earnest attempts to grow, & a shared sense of humor about it all. We love ya!

Transcript

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Come on in.

Hello everybody.

Welcome to Pretty Spiritual Podcast.

Oh my goodness.

Hello.

Hey,

I'm Annie and this is Lindsey Poney.

I'm Lindsey Poney and this is Pretty Spiritual where we take a deep dive or not so deep but not so surface level dive into what it's like practicing spirituality in our daily lives.

So today's episode is about affirmations.

This is a love letter to affirmations,

But it's a journey because maybe it wasn't a love letter before we got to know affirmations.

Maybe it was a violent screaming.

Yeah,

A strong harsh rejection.

And now it's going to be a love letter,

An invitation.

Oh yeah.

Oh,

A heart invitation.

Okay.

Also known as mind magic for the whole being.

Oh yes.

Getting into it.

So we are both new to the world of affirmations and because we're all about honesty here,

Before a few months ago,

I personally was not jazzed about affirmations.

They seemed like something out of an 80s self-help book that was not written for me.

Wasn't interested,

Pretty much had opinions about them and I wasn't going to investigate.

I think it was contempt prior to investigation.

My favorite.

Oh yeah,

It's a fave.

How I operate.

So a spiritual mentor strongly suggested I start using them and I was in some emotional pain and I became willing.

Funny how that worked.

Oh,

Bless you pain.

Yes.

And I noticed changes.

So it turns out there is actual science behind the way affirmations work.

I'm going to give you guys some examples so you can get on the affirmation train with me.

There was a 2015 study from Clayton Critcher and David Dunning that showed that when we have a threat that damages the integrity of the self,

Like how I understand myself to be,

An affirmation can heal the self.

So it's like this measurable tool that they saw.

So a threat can be anything from an internal thought,

Oh my God,

I'm the worst to an external experience.

My boss isn't pleased with my performance and I'm stressed about my job.

Clearly.

Clearly.

And then there's another study.

This was by Christopher Cascio and Emily Falk at the University of Pennsylvania and they used MRI's magnetic resonance imaging and it showed the affirmations light up the reward center of our brain.

Oh,

I love a reward.

Yeah,

We love a reward.

So it's like that pleasure center of like when we eat something delicious or we get a great hug or something brings us joy,

Affirmations flip that same switch.

Mind magic.

That's right,

It's mind magic.

And there's also some other areas when they were measuring the brain that it activates and this other area activates,

This provides kind of an emotional buffer to painful,

Negative or threatening information that follows.

Oh,

Give me that buffer.

Yeah.

Oh,

Good.

And then there's a science that shows that affirmations impact how our brain is operating.

Yeah,

I would absolutely deny science before and now 100% agree after trying it.

Yeah,

Who knew we just had to try.

Try and stuff,

I swear.

I swear.

Yes.

So Honee's going to share her experience about affirmations and then I will,

And of course we're going to share some tools and at the end we have a special bonus.

We had some listeners share some of the affirmations that they're using,

So we want to share those with all of you too.

So Ponee,

Why don't you tell us just about how you,

What's even happening with you in the world of affirmations?

That sounds great.

That's a great place to start.

What is even happening?

And that should be the first question when starting to investigate the self.

What is even happening?

So here's a quote from Lao Chia and maybe you've heard it before.

I have and it's just really ringing true for me when it comes to affirmations.

Watch your thoughts,

They become your words.

Watch your words,

They become your actions.

Watch your actions,

They become your habits.

Watch your habits,

They become your character.

Watch your character,

It becomes your destiny.

And I wanted to talk about this because having the insight and the perspective on our internal view and what's shaping our internal and external worlds is a tall order and very worthwhile.

I didn't want to look inside,

Super painful,

Did not like.

And I think that a lot of our conditioning,

So what made my insides my insides are so strong that it's even harder to see.

So whether it's the pain or some of my internal world that I've been recognizing is that my identification with aversion,

Aggression,

My mind states,

That's my particular essence of self-hatred.

And I really,

I Googled how to love myself.

Like I started getting ideas from other people who could mirror back to me that I was really hard on myself.

And I still,

It's still difficult for me to see that.

I'm like,

No,

I just need to be perfect.

Yeah,

Obviously.

Which I can't even see that when that is going on.

Again,

So this has to do with insight and going backwards before I can see where I am right now so that I can even move forward.

So bear with me on this gentleness journey.

That's what I'm going on because what I recognized within myself is that I have very strong brand of contempt,

Disgust,

And self-hatred that I am steeped in and I can't see it and I forget that it is there.

And then I,

Because of what I am,

How I am treating myself internally,

The people around me,

I also treat with the same kind of flashes of dig or defensiveness.

The internal environment in which I am steeped in,

And this is why I think self care is such a hot topic and why it's so important is because the more that I take care of my quote unquote self,

My internal world,

The more that I don't punish,

Torture,

Traumatize,

And hurt people around me,

Even if it's very nuanced because it is,

But it's that type of insight and understanding and intimacy with self that I want to have to be able to create a more loving environment so that I can know what it's like to feel loved and to be loved so that then I can fully love all types of people outside of me.

I could pathologize and talk about like,

How did this happen?

I often want to do that so much that I think I tie myself into knots mentally.

Why was it like this?

Why do I have such a deep self-hatred?

Why are the stories that I hear inside my mind ones of I'm bad,

I did it.

It's your fault.

That's the one I hear all the time.

So we have this cat that's living with us who is I'm obsessed with and I love so very much and thank God for animals.

But she had gotten into the trash and was playing with a Q-tip.

And I did not know this,

But when I walked by it,

I said to myself,

Oh,

I love that Q-tip there.

Wow.

I just dropped this Q-tip on the floor.

I am a disgusting human being.

I had that whole and here's the thing.

Totally unconscious.

It wasn't until my partner came into my room and he goes,

Oh,

He was delighted.

Oh,

Do you see that Q-tip?

Oh,

Rose,

She got into the garbage.

She was playing with the Q-tip.

And I because of all of that happening,

I'm looking at the Q-tip on the floor.

I'm reflecting back.

I'm feeling the internal,

This horrible black hole of self-hatred and pain and the beliefs that have become my character of who I am.

And so I don't need to pathologize today of like how it really feels like generational trauma that,

You know,

My mother wasn't loved in the way that she needed to be loved.

And I heard these things coming out that she said about herself and I,

I believed them for me.

I believed that because she was unlovable,

I was unlovable.

And because I couldn't do things exactly right,

I internalized that if I would just be perfect,

If I could just do things perfectly,

Then I would be worthy of living.

And then I would be worthy of love.

And then I could show myself to love.

So that's a little story about me.

It's very personal.

I really,

My only intention is to be helpful to myself so that I can learn and grow and be better.

And so that I can really love fully.

And so that I,

If this helps anyone,

That's really my only goal.

It used to be,

I just wanted to help other people.

But one of my new affirmations is I take care of me for me and I am doing this healing work for me.

And if it helps you,

It serves you in any way that really radiates my heart just in ripple effects out into the world.

And thank you all for listening to my,

My little story.

Pony.

I love you.

Okay.

I know.

I am so glad that you do.

Cause you,

You're my inner,

One of my inner loving voices.

Oh,

That's really nice.

It's really true though.

We do help each other.

Yeah.

Oh,

We do.

Oh my gosh.

What a gift to have a buddy.

Pony,

Thank you so much.

I am so grateful to hear what you can say.

And the cat that is living with you,

Rose,

Is the prettiest,

Sweetest cat in the world.

In the world.

When someone recommended that I start trying affirmations,

Like I said at the beginning,

I was not very interested,

But I was willing to take suggestion.

And the reason she made this suggestion is because I had begun this spiritual work with her and a lot of it was being uncovered of how pervasive and persistent this negative train of thinking was that was just steaming through my brain at all times.

So it's so interesting how as people,

We can be so complicated and so multi-layered.

So I have parts of me that feel really confident and clear,

But then I also really 24 seven also have this very subversive,

Super mean voice,

Just commenting away on everything that I'm doing.

You know,

And it's hard to pull it out sometimes because we've talked about in a lot of our episodes,

How when something's so ingrained,

It just seems like a fact and it doesn't even seem like something that I'm doing.

It's not conscious.

It's just part of who I am,

You know,

Air quotes who I am.

So this work that I've been doing has been kind of uncovering like,

Why is that?

Not even so much why is that there,

But that is there.

And what if it's not a fact,

But like you,

I love that the reading you shared at the beginning of your share pony about what if this is just a habit and it's been so built in over time that I don't even notice it.

So it,

The,

This thinking is so limiting in who I am and who I think I can be.

It's really subtle,

But it's also entirely dominates everything.

It steers my professional life,

My relationships,

How I interact with money choices.

I make how I look at myself in the mirror,

How I think other people see me like it shapes all of that.

So underneath of it,

And you use this word too,

Lindsey is this core idea that I'm bad.

And so it can be a mistake that happens or if someone's unhappy with me or if I have to disagree with someone,

Especially in regards to something I want or need and they may not want or need.

Oh,

We're so sick in the same way.

When I didn't,

What's been coming to light is that when those things,

Like if everything's okay,

You know,

If all the external pieces are lined up,

Then I'm okay with me.

But if there's a mistake,

Someone's unhappy,

Or if I need to have any kind of conflict with someone,

I didn't have enough of this sense of self filled up inside of me to be able to just reasonably walk through those things,

Which are just so reasonable.

Like it might happen multiple times in a day.

And so these little pieces of me would just crumple,

You know,

And I was using all this outside stuff to kind of like,

If I can just make everybody A,

Love me all the time,

No problem,

Feel comfortable with my appearance at all times in the way that I've determined is the appropriate way.

If this,

You know,

I just had to have everything lined up and then that voice wouldn't trip.

But then if none of those,

If those any one of those pieces was off,

Then that voice was just like,

Oh,

You've done it now,

Annie.

Yeah,

And it wasn't even like talking to me.

It's more just this like feeling through my body of I'm bad,

It's wrong.

It's not okay.

I'm going to be like X forever,

You know.

And so there's so many reasons that this kind of thinking can happen to anyone.

And you're not bad if you are listening to this and you have this narrative.

And there might be any number of reasons that you've developed this pattern over time.

There's so there's so many whys that can go to it.

But the cool thing that what we have both been learning,

Not to speak for you,

Lindsay,

But go on.

We've been doing them together.

And it's been really fun because we're both having this similar experience.

But this is actually just a mental training.

So I'm not bad.

I'm not inept.

I'm not ugly.

I'm not professionally limited.

I'm not only capable of doing things to a certain level in my professional career.

But it's just that I'm so used to thinking that that that's what my life looks like.

So then I started to have some self awareness around that voice.

And it was actually around the time we started doing this podcast.

But I didn't have a tool yet to resolve it.

And so I was just using the Punisher voice to fix it.

You know,

When I'd be like,

I'm bad or,

Oh,

I'm not good enough.

And I'd be like,

Stop thinking like that,

Annie.

You know,

And it was almost like this kind of brutal,

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

Why don't you change how you're thinking,

Annie?

Get over it,

Pull it together,

Which is really super not helpful when you are when I essentially was operating with my well empty pony always uses this metaphor of like this,

This well inside of us,

And my well was empty.

And so then I'm just like,

Shouting down from the top,

Fill yourself up.

You have any water,

You dummy get some water in there.

You know,

That's like doesn't work.

So as I started working with this spiritual mentor,

And she started saying,

You know,

Affirmations are actually the way to change this.

And I'm like,

I'm way more complicated than that.

Right?

I don't think that you're right.

That's cute.

That are you that's cute.

I love it on an Instagram post,

However.

So that that's kind of where what led me to being open to it is just I got sick of being sick of myself.

And someone provided me a way to do it different.

And I had the willingness,

Holy moly,

To try it.

So let's talk about what it looks like in practice.

These are like,

What are we doing?

How's it going?

Any tips that you can give other people what is happening Miss Lindsey Poni?

Well,

One of the things that I wanted to offer for our listeners is that Buddhism talks extensively and very specifically about not self.

And Annie and I are being very general and we're giving our own insightful little stories that may or may not help you.

And also,

What I think is so cool about Buddhism is that it's all about the mind and the functions of the mind and the mental formations that happen in the mind.

And it's almost I'm not to say that it's like science,

But it's you,

You know,

When science presents facts.

And with Buddhism,

Every time I listened to teachings of the Buddha,

I was like,

Oh,

This being set there and witnessed their mind.

That is what it did.

And then it took notes of all of it,

And then tried to help others.

So I love Buddhism.

I love listening to Dharma talks from Andrea Fella.

She's at the insight meditation center,

IRC.

And so there are so many spiritual teachers,

So many guides,

So many avenues into that specific teaching that can teach you so much in that realm on a broader,

More descriptive journey that then can I find myself connecting with things I didn't have words for,

And then having a more understanding of my mind,

My feeling tones,

And how to help myself in ways I couldn't have made up,

Or I couldn't have waited that long for the suggestion.

So one of my greatest tools of all time is I have several apps,

Whether it's Dharma seed,

Or audio Dharma favorite,

Because it's got Gil Fronsdal,

It's got Andrea Fella,

Just people I'm very familiar with that speak really easily,

It goes down so lovely.

And I come out feeling very refreshed with a lot of information about my mind.

So I just wanted to put a plug in for that.

It's called audio Dharma.

They have all kinds of podcasts on every kind of spiritual teaching about the mind.

It's very cool,

Highly recommend.

I love those teachers on there.

And if they don't speak to you,

There are so many Dharma teachers.

I just,

That is my type of spiritual setting that I want to be in to learn.

The affirmations that I'm using,

How,

Why,

And when do I use them?

One of my favorites,

Which I've talked about before is when I am working out.

And the reason why I love to work out and why I hate to talk about it is because I,

Yeah,

What this right,

The self,

What this means about me as someone who works out all the time,

But I really get to know my mind when I am working out.

My mind is very clear and consistent and the same in my workouts.

And it essentially says,

You cannot,

You must stop.

This is hard.

I know,

Like,

Stop now,

Give up.

And so I love that I get the very loud signaling during my workout.

And that is when I remember,

Oh,

Time for my affirmations.

And I will say,

I am capable.

I am whole.

I am resourceful.

I can keep going.

And most of my affirmations because I'm new to this and I'm a non-believer or I have contempt to doing things that are good for me.

I try to make things really simple.

And how I do that is I just say the opposite of what my mind is telling me.

So when it's telling me that I can't go on,

I'm like,

One more,

One more,

One more,

You know,

And I kind of,

I try to be this,

You know,

The ultimate cheerleader or the loving parent or whatever type of spiritual guidance that I am needing,

I have that inner resource kind of mustard up and pretend as though it's there and start saying the opposite of the things.

So when I'm working out that,

I,

It's just an easy one because I get very stuck in the mire.

I grab,

I forget.

I forget all the time and I am whisked away on an emotional rollercoaster where I'm believing everything that my mind is telling me and I need to be able to challenge my mind.

And so another time when I started to realize,

Cause it's really about my internal environment,

This is a very personal journey.

So even if you go to Affirmation Addict on Instagram,

It may not speak to you because you know,

That person is saying their affirmations.

So it's really important to,

For me to have taken the time and get to know myself and what I am needing to hear,

How to recalibrate the,

What I am having,

The environment that is going on for me,

That is up to me.

So I have to get to know myself,

Which just like I was talking about in the beginning is painful.

It is uncomfortable.

And when we are talking about spiritual growth and growing,

Spoiler alert,

Everybody,

It is equals discomfort 100%.

That's how you can know you are on the right path.

If you're like,

Oh,

I don't like this and I want to run and hide.

Keep going,

Go in that direction that you are going.

So sometimes my mantras are like,

I can handle forms of discomfort.

I can handle more than I think I can handle.

I get onto,

Annie taught me this,

So I'm not stealing your tool,

But maybe I am.

And here it goes.

On insight timer,

If you search affirmations,

There are a couple and whether you think they are good or not,

Just try them.

You may find yourself having opinions about them.

And that is so great.

I listened to it in the morning.

I listened to it in the car when I'm having an anxiety attack.

I put it on and then they are saying the affirmations.

I love myself.

I deserve love.

Oh,

Here's one that I would have never said that is like my whole language.

I love my body and what it does for me.

Oh my God.

How how desperate I have been to hear those words.

You know,

It's just like this spiritual salve that like,

It almost could soothe me,

You know.

So I just keep putting it on.

And that's why Annie and I have been talking about mind magic because it really when I can remember to just try and say the opposite,

Whatever it is that I'm needing to hear,

It has really held me and start to build.

I think of it like a spiritual hammock.

That's been my higher power practice because I,

You know,

I'm mistrusting and I don't understand spirituality.

I'm very pushed away from religious teachings and abuse from things I've suffered from in the past.

And so to get to create my own internal resource and a power that's greater than myself,

What that's looked like has been a spiritual hammock.

You know,

You get in a hammock and you don't worry about if it's going to let you down.

You get in,

You know,

You are cradled,

You are rocked.

And that is what these affirmations feel like for me.

I'm really building this nice,

Beautiful environment inside myself to I'm building a new foundation.

I am providing scaffolding once where there was the belief that like the kill,

Torture,

Shame,

Aggressive,

You know,

The culture of bootstraps was put here to keep us in a capitalist society.

And so that's also something that I need to dismantle.

It is not real for me.

And that is why I am on a gentleness tour.

That's what I named it.

Because I don't know what that would be.

I just don't know what it would be.

I was like,

Well,

What if I went on a gentleness tour?

There would be feathers and obviously soft rose kitty cats and hammocks that gently robbed you.

So it's a very personal experience.

And I really hope that you will get to know and love yourself as you so deserve.

I'm trying so hard.

So thank you.

I love that pony.

I want to be on your gentleness tour.

You're there,

Sis.

I am there.

Oh yeah,

You're carrying me.

Yes.

Yes.

I'm so excited.

Yeah.

Side note,

I don't know if this is going to be relevant,

But back in my party days,

My one of my boyfriends was like,

I need to make you an Annie wagon and just like carry me around at festivals in a little wagon with pillows.

I was like,

Oh my God,

He did actually have an Annie wagon.

It was so great.

So this'll be the more spiritually mature version of the festival wagon.

That is so please let us keep this in.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you,

Lindsay,

For sharing that.

And it's been so fun to experiment with these with you because there was part of me that was really judgmental of myself when I first started doing it.

And I got to talk to you about doing them and it felt less awkward as I was getting my feet wet to have a buddy,

An affirmation buddy helped me so much.

Thank you.

So there's some simple just strategies that I use to put them into my life physically because I,

I like tangible stuff.

So I have a printout of about 50 affirmations.

Don't let it overwhelm you.

It's not overwhelming,

But it's a printout.

And then I,

In my morning routine,

I journal and I'll do my prayer and meditation and I read all of these and it's really nice cause they just kind of plant into my brain.

And so that's one of my tools is just having them on hand and visible so you can see them.

And another thing that I do is the,

I try,

I don't,

This doesn't happen every day,

But I try when I wake up to think of an affirmation the very first thing,

Cause when I wake up,

My brain can do some very wild stuff.

Oh yeah.

It can be super weird.

It's in the red danger zone for me.

Yeah.

Late in the evening or right when I wake up.

Yeah.

So I'll wake up and I'm like,

Sometimes it's great.

Sometimes I'm still in dreamland.

Other times I'm like,

Things are bad.

Definitely bad.

Whatever it is.

But the first thing I say is an affirmation.

Like I am a child of the universe and I deserve love and peace.

Wow.

What a nice,

What a nice,

Like you said,

This solve to like put onto my brain as this coat,

As this buffer between before I jump into the day.

Cause even though I start my day with a prayer and meditation practice,

Like I go and make a coffee,

I go wander around and I am a ruminator.

And the amount of thinking I can do in between is I can have a lot of very negative thoughts in just several minutes.

So I try to just say one in there and I don't get mad if I don't remember,

But I just have been experimenting with that.

So my friend called,

I was talking to her about affirmations and she called it,

She and she said,

I was casting a magic spell on my brain.

And so Lindsey and I have been joking about that because it does,

There's all this science behind it,

But it also is just,

I love the visual of this like witchy woman that I might be like kind of having these incantations and like saying these spells and like changing this cloudy potion of my mind.

I can change my vibration.

And then after I do them in the morning,

It has kind of builds them into my brain for the day.

And so what I have been practicing doing is talking to them,

Talking to other people about affirmations.

So sharing with other people that I'm trying to use them because then it keeps it on top of my brain.

And I also just try to think of them.

So I'm going to give you a couple examples of when I've used them in the last two days.

So I'm working on a creative project right now and the last couple of days I was working on it,

I got really distracted and I like many people I'm sure am easily distracted and I can quickly become fascinated with nonsense on the internet that I have no business deep diving into.

I can go like all of a sudden an hour has passed.

I'm like,

What happened?

And so that had happened a couple of times and I was so frustrated with myself.

I'm like,

I'm wasting my time.

And then I had this,

My brain immediately started going into this thing of like,

This is all you'll ever be.

You're never going to accomplish the things you want to accomplish and you're not capable of it.

And it just,

You know,

You know the train.

And then I had this thought and I thought,

What if right now I said some affirmations?

And so I said,

I am enough today and my best today is good enough.

And I could feel like a physical response in my body of kind of revulsion,

Like,

Oh,

Like this energetic,

I wanted to just energetically push that away.

Cause I was like,

No,

But I'm bad.

I'm not doing the thing I need to do.

So I'm like,

Like you said,

I'm like,

Oh,

Maybe that's a good sign.

So I'll say a couple more.

I've been really trying to use them too,

As a way to get closer to my higher power.

And so I was like,

God loves me unconditionally and continuously.

Cause also I'm like,

Gosh,

When I don't do the things I set out to do,

I'm unlovable,

You know?

And I was like,

Oh,

And then I was like,

I love myself unconditionally and continuously.

And I was like,

And it was weird because I went from that energetic revulsion to kind of my brain calmed down.

And then I was able to focus and do my work because when I am stuck in this negative thinking,

I go into freeze and it's this like mental freeze.

It's a nervous system shut down and I can't get anything done.

I just get caught in this loop of kind of punishment and the do,

Saying these affirmations kind of like lifted me out,

Cleared my brain and I could just get back to the task at hand.

So it was kind of amazing.

So then yesterday I was going to share in front of a group about a topic that's really special to me.

And I was so excited to share.

And then I knew about a month out that I was going to do this.

And then a couple of weeks in,

I was like,

What am I doing?

These people have heard from me before.

They don't need to hear from me.

I'm the worst.

All I want is attention.

And so I contacted the person who was organizing it and I said,

It's better if I don't speak because everyone's heard too much from me and we should have a new voice.

And she said,

Annie,

You bring a lot of value and you're a really important part of this community.

And I was like,

Didn't believe her.

I mean,

I,

I cherished that she said that,

But I was still full of fear and ego and like reverse pride.

And I randomly,

The night before texted Pony and I was like,

Pony,

I have to do this thing.

And this is why it's bad.

And I was just in it and she wrote back all caps,

Exclamation mark,

Affirmations.

And it was so helpful because I just started to say affirmations.

And it was like the thing that had been missing instead of me,

Like explaining to myself why it was good or bad or dah,

Dah,

Dah,

Dah,

Was there had just been a death there.

My well was empty.

Right.

And I just needed,

This wasn't about the situation.

It wasn't about the people.

It wasn't about,

It was just me coming back to the fact that I am a person.

I have value.

Me existing is enough.

And that's just,

And so I just needed to like fill up that well and the affirmations and her reminding me and like letting me know that that was the thing that was happening.

It worked and it brought me this piece.

So we just been having this text thread of like,

Holy crap,

These things actually work.

Yeah.

Our mind magic.

My magic.

I'm casting it's bow.

It's working.

So I'm going to go ahead and say I'm a believer.

Just keep practicing.

Don't become a believer.

Just keep practicing.

Yeah.

Give it up.

And also this acknowledgement of like,

When I get into that negative thinking,

I actually go into freeze.

And so,

So often me not kind of reaching these goals or things I want to do,

It isn't because I'm bad or I'm dumb or I'm not good enough or not capable.

It's like my whole brain and nervous system's going into freeze.

And it's like,

I have this tool that can like gently acknowledge that and see that it's because there's this like hole that I'm,

That I have and I can fill it up.

You know,

I can put some love in there.

So thank you for listening.

Oh yes.

And even more exciting is we have some affirmations and tools from listeners that we're going to share.

But first,

Lindsay is going to share a very special one.

Oh,

That's so nice.

Well,

I will share that my partner does his own meditation and does his own affirmations and has been doing them for a long time and he has lovingly let me in on his little,

His practice and I ignored it.

Yeah,

For years.

For years.

No,

Thank you.

For years.

And just since we started doing this,

It kept coming up for me and I already had it memorized because he said it so many times.

And I just want to honor his because I think it is so wonderful.

And he says,

My imperfections are opportunities to form my own unique perspective.

Oh,

Yeah,

So good.

And it's just a really nice one for people who are perfectionists.

What a relief to be able to think that the imperfections could serve us in such a more useful way.

Thanks for letting me share that.

Yeah.

And it's so funny with the perfectionism because it's actually so debilitating and makes me frozen.

Yes.

And I think that having this perfectionist thinking is going to help me.

Yes.

And something that I've been reading and thinking about is that affirmations aren't about being perfect or like achieving this ideal Annie,

But it's just filling up that sense of self.

And it's not like an ego driven self where I'm perfect or I'm this or I'm that,

But it's just filling myself with value and like a true sense of integrity of like,

I exist and that is worthwhile.

My worth is not tied to my productivity.

Yeah.

Just hearing that when I think I have to do,

Do,

Do all the time and reminding myself that my worth is not tied to my productivity is so important.

And then nowhere to go,

Nothing to do,

No one to be is from one of my favorite Dharma teachers when,

And I oftentimes I fall on that and then whole complete resourceful.

Yeah.

And so what do some of our listeners have to say?

We have some really good ones.

Our friend Annika shared that she had started using them,

But they felt fake.

So she wasn't,

Didn't believe them.

So the,

What,

How she made it work for her is that she added a Y at the end of her affirmation.

So she can say,

I am a good friend because I,

And so like that gives her a sense of solidity around it.

So if you're struggling,

Maybe try that one.

Our friend Mary shared,

I am enough.

I am doing enough.

My contributions are enough.

Oh yeah.

That's what Mary shared.

That's her affirmations.

And she says at night she writes them and then she'll close her eyes,

Put her hand over her heart and say those.

And she says them to her current self,

Her middle school self when some trauma had happened.

And as to her little innocent girl self.

Oh Mary.

Yeah.

That is so helpful and so sweet.

It is so sweet.

And so classic queen Tabitha,

What'd she say,

Lindsay?

She likes to,

She has an affirmation book.

And then that way she has plenty to choose from.

It helps her for the dark thoughts to not take over her day.

Her favorite is I'm listening and I love you.

Sweet.

And you are strong.

You are loved.

You are beautiful.

You are enough.

You are you.

It's a gentle reminder for her to believe in herself.

I choose to be patient and trust the process.

So many good ones.

Yeah,

That's so sweet.

Our friend Megan K wrote in and said she's used them every single day for a year and a half because she's had an intractable migraine for over a year.

So she needed her brain and heart to hear her voice speaking positive words to kind of carry her through.

She uses an app called Think Up.

Oh,

This is such a good solution.

So you record your voice saying them and then you play it in wherever you want.

What a great plan.

So you can kind of make your own series of affirmations and play them to yourself.

One of her favorites is I believe in miracles every single day.

Also another one she loves is I am awake and in love with my beating heart.

Oh my God.

That's so sweet.

Oh,

That's so beautiful.

Thank you so much all you sweet listeners.

And I just wanted to share one that one of my sisters in my healing group,

When I was trying to say that I am lovable,

I deserve love.

And it's been hard to say.

She said,

Well,

Instead of those,

What I use is I am loved,

I am lovable,

I am loving.

And I thought that was a really nice way.

And Ashley shared that.

So I'm so grateful to her.

So sweet.

And then we have one more for you guys to try.

This is from Kelly.

Oh.

And she wrote,

I am peace.

I am calm.

I am able in every moment with every breath.

Wow.

I know there are so many gems in here.

So wonderful.

And we have so many amazing listeners.

We love everything that you send and write to us.

You can find our listeners and ourselves on our Facebook group at Pretty Spiritual Podcasts.

The Pretty Spiritual Podcasts group.

So we have a page and then the group.

And the group is like an interactive community.

The page is all our news.

Yeah.

And you can find us on Instagram,

Of course.

We let you know when our new episodes are coming up and any post fun stories sometimes and I try to get in there and.

We're on Insight Timer.

Oh yeah.

We'd love it if you left us a comment or a review.

Wherever you listen,

It helps us so much to grow.

Yeah.

Together.

We love that.

Yeah.

I was totally crabby when I woke up today and I'm like,

I can't do affirmations today.

I'm so crabby.

And then you're like,

Oh,

Maybe I should do affirmations right now.

I am a vibration.

I can change my vibration.

I have agency.

I have agency.

I have awareness around my attitude.

Oh,

I have awareness about my attitude.

Attitude awareness.

Attitude awareness.

Is available for me.

Is available for me.

I love myself.

I love it.

Yeah.

I love myself.

I love myself.

I deserve love.

I deserve love.

That's going in at the end.

Yeah.

Okay.

Of what it's like in practical real use.

That was our special intro that we plugged in on the end.

We love ya.

Bye.

Reviews

Thank you. I use:
"I am safe. I am loved. I love myself"

Exclamation love this episode so much! I have literally rewired my brain with affirmations. Such an amazing tool.

I have been deeply appreciative of your podcasts. Such relatable wisdom and practical guidance. Thank you! Now I have index cards all over my apartment with affiliations written on them 💗🙏🥰

You are amazing. Thanks you for your insight and support.

Great episode ladies! I've been using affirmations for years and wouldn't have got through all my life challenges without them! Thanks for being awesomely you! Love you 💖x

Haha to me!! I’ve listened to affirmations from time to time over the last 3 years but it never occurred to me to make them part of my daily practice! I’m back in therapy as of a week ago and working on self love is on the list. I can now see from this podcast how life changing affirmations can be for each of us and I really could use some “life changing “. Many thanks Poni and Annie! 💜