Zero To 100 In 60 Seconds!

It feels that things are speeding up and it is becoming easier to make progress, all right.

Premasudha was so touched by the willingness and devotion of participants to really learn how to embody our inner Amma more fully.

Calling on Amma's grace, imagining Her hugging you, sure speed our progress. These images, and the effort to create them when maybe we are feeling helpless, directly influence the psyche powerfully and deeply.

It is similar to the way athletes use imagination during their training to see themselves victorious or their muscles growing fast or visualizing it all feeling effortless.

So we can use the same principle in our spiritual journeys by imaging Amma with us/hugging us/talking to us, as we go through our days.

Speakers: Michi, Sivamayi, Varadarajan

Transcript

We're calling for grace,

For Amma's grace,

The Creator's grace,

To strengthen our hearts,

To strengthen our devotion to our journeys of embodying our true nature,

Our Amma nature in this very turbulent world.

And strengthen us,

Please,

Amma.

And open our eyes and open our ears so we see the love in things more,

Which will make it easier to navigate.

And may we really learn to value ourselves and forgive our humanity and to remember that a human being being on the journey is as perfect as we get.

That's it.

Just seeking to embody our true nature is like a hundred percent A++.

Yeah,

Please let that in more and more.

Because it will make the journey much easier for you if you do this.

Yeah,

Michael's just turning his head as I say this.

He's getting a couple of others got restless.

Okay,

Bless your hearts.

Well,

And so we'll start.

I just wanted to start with a reminder.

Corrine gave a beautiful story last week about really experiencing her integrity during the token line at one of Amma's retreats.

And afterwards,

I thought of my own experience,

You guys.

So this isn't directed to anybody personally.

It's just my own experience is the next step is to embody that same level of integrity in our lives.

And this is where sometimes,

You know,

Amma's children stumble.

It's like,

It's sort of like it's easy to do something in a daycare setting,

But then you have to leave the daycare and you go and you have to do the skill,

You know?

Yeah,

Or a workshop,

You do a skill then you have to.

Yeah,

It's that,

You guys.

It's really important that this material gets translated into your lived lives more and more.

And,

You know,

If it's hard,

Be gentle with yourselves,

But see it,

See it.

Don't fool yourselves.

Yeah.

Because it's easy sometimes to remember around Amma and in the beautiful,

Like little village circumstance that are the retreats,

You know,

It's like a little village.

But then to take that out into our wider life.

Yeah.

I was just going to say that.

And tomorrow,

I want to talk about anger.

Partly,

At least.

Yeah,

So that's going to be part of the topic for tomorrow.

For anybody who's interested.

Okay.

Does anybody have any questions or comments?

Hello.

Oh,

Good.

Michi.

Yeah,

I'm not able to activate my video.

I don't know why.

No worries.

No worries.

So,

What's up?

Yeah,

I have no question,

But I wrote to you last week that I had severe problems with my neck and had an inflammation under the tongue and had really very hard pains,

A pain.

And I remembered your words,

Imagine Amma and putting her arms around my neck.

Yeah.

And it really worked.

I did it a whole night for three days and nights and the pain is almost gone.

And.

You know why it works?

Why?

Yeah.

It's a good question because I think I was open to let Amma heal it.

Yeah.

And also,

You see,

When we open to Amma,

We're opening to our true nature.

We're letting our soul energy come in and your pain was in your neck,

Which is in the transcendent body approach.

It's the neck is your perspective.

So,

We get locked into our conditioning.

Really,

You guys,

Physically,

You won't be able to move your necks past what was allowable in your conditioning,

Truly.

And when you go beyond that,

You get a much bigger movement of the neck.

So,

With this pain,

Michi,

And I want you to like open to like begin to digest what I'm saying to you on a deeper level,

That you,

You know,

You were dramatically opening your conditioned perspective,

Like the pain was showing you how much your particular worldview was hurting your heart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I,

It's interesting,

I don't feel the penny dropping,

But it's okay.

It's okay.

You're not doing anything wrong.

I just know that this,

That you,

You,

There's this walling off of the heart that takes place.

So,

It stops your deep understanding of what Premasuddha is saying.

And when you have a deep understanding,

You see how simple it is,

How utterly simple.

And when we don't understand,

We will hear it like,

Okay,

What are the rules of this game?

And what do I have to do to play it and please the teacher?

Yeah,

You're totally right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can feel it.

Yes.

This is good.

This is progress.

This is big steps forward,

Maxi,

Like J Ma,

Like,

Yay,

Like,

I'm thrilled.

Like,

Really,

I feel your ego,

You're seeing increasingly,

Like,

There's no payoff for staying so caught in this old rigidity.

And,

You know,

By praying to Amma,

Like,

For three days,

You're willing to move out of it.

You're,

You're calling on the biggest generator in the world to help you,

Right?

Yeah.

And she's also reflecting you,

Your true nature.

So,

You guys,

Anytime we imagine Amma hugging ourselves,

We are opening the door to our true nature.

Yeah.

Good work.

I'm glad,

I'm glad your pain's gone down,

Sweetie.

And I have another comment.

You wrote to me that I always try to separate my spiritual life from my daily business.

Yes.

And you're totally right.

I could understand what you mean,

But it's not,

I can't feel it,

Or I have no,

I don't know how to,

Yeah,

To change it.

Oh,

Yeah,

You,

You can't change it with your head,

Just seeing it.

Yeah.

Guys,

Just seeing stuff changes us.

Okay.

This is a big lesson for you,

Just seeing it,

Admitting it,

Feeling it and going,

Yeah,

That's true.

This will change you,

You guys.

Yeah,

Yeah.

It resonates.

I know that part of it is uncertain,

And I think there's some life in there,

Sweetie.

I really do.

I think there's some religious life you had or a spiritual life that significantly backfired and shocked you.

Because,

Yeah,

I really know there's something in there that makes it more difficult than it would normally be.

So,

Just hearing this,

You know,

And the day will come where you remember it,

Or maybe,

You know,

I'll get a picture and tell you.

Yeah.

But that's what's bothering you.

Yes,

It was.

Yeah.

How do you feel when I say this?

Now,

Don't try to please me,

Just be real.

Yeah,

It makes sense to me,

Because there are some feelings and I don't know where they are coming from.

And there was always a kind of hiding the spiritual way.

Yes,

I know.

From the early beginning on.

And my mom was always very spiritual and she was,

Yeah,

My whole family was not okay with it.

Right.

But she was very straight and I always tried to find some side ways to do my spiritual thing.

I was never straight with it.

No,

Yeah,

There's something that's bothering you.

And I don't know what it is.

In my case,

I got buried alive.

So,

I mean,

That held me up till I remembered.

Then when I remembered and felt the horror of it,

It was cleared and I could make a lot of progress.

So,

We'll just ask Amma maybe,

Like,

You know,

Premasutra will ask if it's okay for you that Amma helps you remember,

Or helps you work through this in some way,

So that you're,

It's easier,

You're less ambivalent,

So that you become less ambivalent.

Yeah.

Okay,

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

This is really good work,

Michi.

Thank you.

Really good.

You know,

One of the things is,

You know,

When people are resistant,

When they actually get it,

They progress really quickly.

Do you know?

It's like the last shall be first.

So,

There's no judgment about being resistant,

Because it will turn into moving very quickly,

Michi.

So,

Don't worry.

Okay,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for speaking.

You guys,

This is how simple it is,

Okay?

So,

And I'm rattling chains,

Like,

You know,

I'm wanting you to get this,

Okay,

The Trans and Body Approach.

I want you to,

Like,

Have some understanding of it,

So it can be useful to you,

Because otherwise,

I have to keep explaining it.

So,

The thing is,

The point of that Body Approach is when you're letting go of your ego,

It gives you something to hold on to.

So,

You know,

If your neck hurts,

You can go,

Okay,

It's my perspective,

And my perspective is too limited.

Yeah,

And,

You know,

You can,

I mean,

Please validate to see if this Body Approach is accurate,

But truly,

I mean,

It came from Pramod Siddha's direct experience,

And then I've been using it with my work for the last 25 years.

It's so obvious,

It's so simple,

We miss it,

We make it so complicated.

And just calling on Amma,

Like,

If you've got aches and pains,

The more you do that,

The more you're opening to,

The more you're saying to yourselves,

Open up and receive the love that you're made out of,

Open up and receive the grace.

And any time that,

Anything that stops us from going around in the poor me,

Poor me,

I'm suffering,

My foot hurts,

You know,

Anything that stops us from playing in those mud pies is good.

You know,

So if our foot hurts,

With part of us,

We're going,

Okay,

There's a shift in my understanding that needs to happen,

That is in progress,

And when the pain stops,

The shift is made.

It's so easy,

And it's so powerful,

You guys.

It's such a powerful way to go forward on your journey.

It will save you years.

You're all getting restless.

Yeah,

I'm just getting too old,

You know.

It's sort of like,

Well,

You guys,

You got to get it now because Pramasutha is getting old.

So,

You know,

Get it before she passes over,

Okay?

How about that?

Okay.

Yeah,

Bottom line,

You guys.

Yeah,

Learn what the teacher's got to give.

Before they're no longer there,

Right?

This is the stuff we run from.

Seeing deeply,

We run from it.

You know,

Sophia Lauren,

She was married to a guy who was like 15 years older,

And I don't know,

She was 75,

And he was 90.

Maybe she was younger,

But anyway,

He died.

And,

You know,

I read this article,

And she was shocked.

He died.

It's like,

Okay.

Okay,

The writing's been on the wall for a while,

You know.

It might be wise to make kind of inner preparations for this kind of event,

You know.

To not just be shocked and surprised and devastated when it actually happened.

Most of us,

We just live in fantasy land,

You guys.

Outer fantasy land.

And then we get disappointed all the time.

Oh,

Dear.

Yep.

Better to,

You know,

Build this relationship with our ama.

However,

Hugging you all the time.

Yeah,

If you really want to grow up,

Imagine ama hugging you all the time.

Okay.

The other thing,

You guys,

Is often when we're making our best progress,

We feel the worst.

Okay.

I want that to ring in your ears.

It's when we feel the worst.

That's when we really turn to ama.

That's when we really look at ourselves,

You know,

When we're feeling good.

We just cruise along,

You know.

And it's not to always be in pain or anything.

But when you are,

Remember that,

You know,

It's not wasted.

Any pain you're in,

There's a reason for it.

And you,

It's helping you.

Because we don't listen.

We don't listen.

So we have to have pain.

Really,

You guys,

That's it.

We have to have pain because it's the only time that we pay attention.

It's like when the,

Yeah,

You know,

A spouse might say,

Okay,

Please do this.

Okay,

Please do this.

And it's ignored.

And then when the spouse says,

Okay,

I'm divorcing you,

Then,

But then it's too late,

You know.

Yeah,

Pain's your friend.

Not to wallow in it and love the dark baby,

But to,

You know,

Feel it and then turn your attention to ama really quickly.

And remember the compassionate,

The transcendent body approach,

You know.

And any pain or pressure is opening.

It's not bad.

You know,

I trained as a kindergarten teacher at one point in my life.

It feels very similar sometimes,

You guys.

Saying the same thing 500 million times,

But,

You know,

I know what it's like.

So,

I love you dearly.

There's no criticism.

Premasutra was at least as bad.

So,

Yeah.

Okay.

Laura,

Open.

Hello.

Yeah.

I just came to listen today.

But there's always,

Anyway,

I think that's what we all do.

Came to hear what other people had to say so we could learn.

But anyway,

As far as the body approach,

You know,

I have noticed a lot of pain in my fingers lately,

You know,

And I know that's about giving and receiving.

And I've also had a lot of conversations in my head about giving and receiving and generosity.

And so,

I just thought I'd share that.

Yeah.

And I've been feeling,

You know,

My inner feelings are always sort of sad.

I just carry the sadness that just is part of me.

And I judge myself for it because I feel like I should be more optimistic and more,

You know.

But I do have a Saturn in my moon or conjunct.

Saturn,

Venus,

And my moon are conjunct.

And I've been told that that's just sort of a melancholy kind of aspect,

You know.

And so,

I need to forgive myself for that because it's really just part of me,

You know.

And this morning,

I felt sad.

And all this craziness is going on in the world.

I need to forget it.

I mean,

I try to forget about it.

And I try to understand that it's coming from a much higher level in a way than,

You know,

We have no control over it.

It's just chaos and it's craziness.

And it's probably going to be,

You know,

I mean,

I'm praying for the world,

But I'm starting to realize that I need to let it go.

And just,

I woke up this morning thinking about it.

That was like my first thought.

And I think I was dreaming about it last night,

Too.

And I was dreaming about an inner conflict,

I guess.

But anyway,

That's my thoughts for what's going on.

This morning,

I got up and started writing letters.

And I really felt so much better after I did,

You know.

It's just,

I accessed that place,

You know,

To worry about somebody else instead of myself.

And it really did help quite a bit.

So anyway,

I'm glad you're here.

Good.

Yeah,

Sweetie,

Thanks for coming.

You know,

What I'm getting about your fingers is there's a more subtle awareness wanting to come in.

Yeah,

More subtle.

So giving and receiving,

But fingers are dexterous,

Right?

And it's,

It's a subtlety issue,

Letting yourself,

And you are like,

You see,

You guys,

If your body hurts,

It's in the process of healing.

Okay,

So it's a done deal.

You don't have to be like,

Cautious about whether you're doing it or not,

Because your body's showing you that you are.

So in this case,

It's not it's becoming more finely tuned spiritually.

More finely tuned in your giving and receiving,

It's very beautiful.

About the sadness you feel underneath,

You know,

Yes,

The astrology,

That may explain it.

But,

You know,

Sometimes we can,

We avoid spiritual challenges through using something like astrology,

Like we,

We go into this.

Oh,

Well,

It's,

It's just that way.

It's inevitable.

And this little kid in you is you,

It's a sadness.

It's this little child within,

Who,

Who,

You know,

She didn't see a lot of love,

And she,

You know,

She didn't see a lot of love.

And she felt kind of helpless in her circumstance.

So the thing is,

What you did with the,

The,

The writing the letters,

And you,

You felt better,

That's always our answer,

You guys,

Is to share the love.

That is finally,

Always the solution,

We try to fix it inside.

But it's by sharing it,

That things get healed.

And you're doing the circle of letters for Amma.

So this is,

This is fantastic.

There's something else,

Shivaay,

There's kind of a feeling of fragility in you,

As if,

Like,

The light coming in is not strong enough.

And it's kind of like a feeling of fragility and weakness.

Now,

I don't know whether you're just kind of,

Sometimes we can feel old and tired,

You know,

That can happen at any age,

You can feel just old and tired.

You may be feeling like that.

But I also feel that it's,

You're feeling how much you turn down the light that's wanting to come in.

Yeah,

There's much more light wanting to come in.

And I know you,

So I know that you'll,

The,

You know,

The tendency is to,

Like,

Criticize yourself.

And like I say,

To be on the journey is as perfect as we can get.

And Pramasut is just using her words to help open you to this light wanting to come in.

Yeah.

Right.

And,

You know,

Imagining Amma hugging you,

Those kind of things would help.

Yeah.

It's this kind of freeing,

Very compassionate light that's wanting to come in.

You guys,

This is a time that we can move into self-compassion more easily.

You know,

Amma is pouring it in.

I mean,

The world,

It is,

Like I say to you,

You know,

The worse it gets in the outer world,

The more it's possible to open to the divine.

Yeah.

Sivamayi?

Yeah.

Was there something?

So how do you feel about what I've said?

Yeah.

Oh,

I think you're right on.

I think you're right on.

I don't know.

I went to this,

I go to these retreats and I help with this.

Anyway,

We had,

It was meditations.

And in this meditation,

I had this vision of myself as a baby or as a child.

Really,

It was one of those plastic dolls with a cloth body,

No clothes,

All dirty,

Kind of just not a well taken care of little thing,

You know.

And I just could see it as so dead,

You know,

It had no life.

And I've been bringing that to Amma.

And anyway,

Just so I'd share that,

That came to mind,

You know.

I haven't worked,

And I had a hard time bringing her to Amma.

I did,

But I'm doing it more and more.

And it had such a wonderful darshan in England.

I keep trying to,

You know,

Remember that and to remember how,

You know,

How she whispered in my ear,

You know,

My daughter.

And so I tried to bring myself back.

But it's,

You know,

I certainly have to,

It's hard for me to always remember,

You know.

And I mean,

It just is more than that,

Truly.

Yeah,

You know,

It can feel endlessly difficult to do these things,

You guys.

And it can seem like there's not much short term payoff.

But any imagining of Amma hugging you is like,

Very powerful meditation,

You know.

It's really,

Really powerful,

Because it steers your psyche towards opening to the love within your heart,

To opening to the divine within you.

You see,

You think Amma is separate from you,

But she's here to show you your own divinity,

You guys.

It's why she's here to show it to us,

And to help us receive it.

Right.

Yeah,

Imagining her really does.

I mean,

I really feel expanded.

You know,

Just remember that starshine just now,

You know,

It's like,

Whoa,

Yeah,

You know,

So right.

Good.

Good.

And we all come together to join all our energies to strengthen this in each one of us.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You see,

Shivam,

I want you to hear this.

The reason you're I can feel it.

The reason you're scared to let the light in is because it's like,

I put it when you were a little kid,

The only safe thing was to chunk down to turn down your light.

That was,

That was what made it bearable.

Because otherwise,

It's like you would have lost your sanity,

Really,

You know,

So you turned it down.

And you got very good at dancing to that,

The trauma and the vibration.

So it's like,

Part of you feels that safe,

And the life and the life,

The light isn't,

You know.

But it is.

Yeah,

It is safe,

You guys.

But we can this is,

You know,

Amma talks about,

We feel like we're walking on thin ice,

When we let it in,

Because it's not wasn't allowed when we were little.

We haven't seen us felt like that a million times.

Right.

Actually,

I can feel that just hearing these words is helping.

I can feel it.

It's like,

There's a level that you feel really deeply understood,

Psychologically and emotionally.

Yeah.

That's very good.

And you're just a little scared to let go of the control.

You know,

I can feel it's right there in your solar plexus.

You're scared to let go of it.

Because it was,

You see,

When little kids are in traumatic circumstances,

You all know this,

They turn a very heavy control on.

So then when we go to heal,

We we were faced with this heavy control.

And then you guys,

Now I'm just going to say for all of us,

Especially the females in this world,

It also gets connected up with the patriarchy of turning down the feminine perceptions,

The feminine wisdom.

Yeah.

And this is what really hurts women.

Right.

Right.

And it's scary to feel these levels of control.

It's very uncomfortable.

But the thing is,

You see,

We don't,

We don't make much progress unless we feel this really uncomfortable stuff.

But at a pace,

You can do it.

There's no rush.

It's like,

If Amma wants you to clear it,

It will clear.

Do you know,

This is the truth of it,

You guys,

If Amma wants us to clear these blocks,

They will be cleared.

All we have to do is just watch really.

Right.

And then Shivamayee,

There's another part of you.

And this also I have felt in myself and in others,

Which kind of wants to keep the game going,

Even though you know better.

Yeah.

And in,

You might want to keep the game going,

Even in face of a loving,

Authentic teacher speaking it so clearly.

You guys,

We do this.

We do the little child thing.

We go now.

Yeah.

It's,

It's what I'm thinking,

Though,

Is how does it,

You know,

What would that look like?

You know,

I mean,

I spent a lot of years establishing this life,

You know,

And you're talking about conditioning,

You know,

And what would it look like if all and I do stand up for myself.

I,

I do.

I maybe I need to see more how I do.

But,

But I've got myself in this,

This rut that I can't,

That it's hard to imagine.

It's just hard to imagine doing things differently.

And maybe it isn't even the doing,

It's just the being,

I guess.

Yeah,

When listen to the tape again,

Like two or three times or four times in this period where I'm speaking this to you,

Sweetie.

Okay.

Because,

You know,

There's not much I can do.

It's sort of like I can,

I can shine a light.

And then that's all I can do.

But even as I've spoken,

I can see more light coming into your body.

You know,

And if we say you guys,

Whenever,

Please understand this.

If you're ever thinking,

What will it look like?

You're going back into your head for a false safety.

Truly,

It's a false safety.

Because your heart,

It's like your heart wants the promised land.

And we'll show you the way to the promised land and the head will just keep you running around in circles.

Do you know,

When I went into journalism,

I went into journalism,

Rather than what my heart was telling me to do,

Which was anthropology.

And I did it because with journalism,

I could see where I would end up.

You know,

I could see my head was comfortable with the way I would see my life going.

Whereas with this anthropology,

I just had this feeling of,

Oh,

I don't know what that would look like.

Because it was from the heart.

So of course,

My head didn't know what it would look like.

But Premasuddha did a big mistake with going into journalism.

Don't,

The head is just stupid.

Because look at the world.

Look what's happening.

There's a whole bunch of people following the heads rather than the hearts.

And look what's happening.

You know,

Amma said in 2015,

She said the world was heading for a mental breakdown.

It's like,

Well,

Here we are.

And you get a mental breakdown when your soul kind of pushes down the iron walls,

Keeping it in its dungeon,

And it just pushes through and blasts through.

And that's when somebody has a mental breakdown,

You guys.

Because they can't keep the same intellectual structure when the soul breaks through like that.

Yeah.

You're loved,

Shivamayee,

Sweetheart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I want you to realize,

Though,

Think of it in terms of how well you're treating Amma.

Or you could even think how well you're treating Premasuddha,

Because you haven't always treated Premasuddha well.

And I bring you light and love.

So I'm not taking it personally.

It is how you treat your own inner Amma.

I think you should treat your inner Amma better.

Okay.

Yeah.

I understand.

Yes,

She understands.

Bottom line.

This is what it comes down to,

You guys.

How well are we treating our own Amma inside,

Our own soul?

And this is what's so sad.

And part of us will feel that it's safe to keep the old games going,

And it's not.

But we need a lot of forgiveness,

You guys.

Please,

A lot of self-forgiveness,

Because,

You know,

How many lifetimes have gone into the way we are?

But,

Shivamayee,

You know,

There's something incredibly,

I want to say kind of aristocratic about you internally.

There's something really priceless.

Yeah,

There's something kind of like an internal aristocratic quality,

Like there's something priceless about you.

I mean,

I know we're all priceless.

There's something aristocratically valuable in you.

It's like,

This is how I see you,

Kind of like this,

Kind of like aristocrat,

Aristocracy on a soul level.

Right.

And you didn't grow up with that at all.

I get why it's hard to see,

But I see it in you.

It's incredibly,

I don't know,

It's rare.

It's extremely high-level perceptions are possible.

There's a tremendous expansiveness in you,

An ability to embrace humanity and forgive humanity.

It's very strong in you.

I don't know whether you're conscious of this and you just need to extend it to yourself.

Right.

You guys,

What kind of,

You could imagine if Premasuddha had spent her life going around in self-criticism,

I wouldn't be any use to you.

It's because I've forgiven myself so much that I'm of use to you.

So,

Just do the same thing that Premasuddha did.

Forgive self,

Embrace self,

Endlessly,

Endlessly,

Endlessly.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

I'm seeing there's a golden spot right in your heart and it's been reached.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's your kind of sovereign self.

It's your true,

True nature.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is,

You guys,

There is no faster way to grow than in the company of awakened teachers.

And you have an alma.

But a true teacher saves years of meditation because they just cut to the heart of what's bothering you and then it's up to you what you do with it.

And there's no rush.

And this gold in you is,

It's eternal.

It's always been there.

It's,

It's got this,

It's this aristocracy.

It's like your sovereign nature.

And I see it.

It's right there in your heart.

And it has been activated just through,

Through this.

And,

And you're more open than usual,

Which is an achievement.

Sweet one.

It's a,

It's a,

It's a very valuable achievement because Pramasutha knows what it takes to open.

You guys,

You know,

The journey is not like a cakewalk.

It is very difficult sometimes.

It just pays off.

In a big way.

Yeah,

I can feel you,

Shivamai,

Wanting to step back into kind of,

Oh,

I'm a mess and everything.

You're not.

You're very,

Very beautiful.

I see your beauty.

I always have.

Right.

There's no rush.

You need to,

You need your time right now.

I want to take the spotlight off you because it's getting energetically.

Thank you.

And thank you for everything.

Thank you so much.

Yeah.

Okay.

Listen to it again,

Really three or four times,

Please.

I will.

I will.

Yeah.

Good.

You guys,

If I do answer a question,

Really listen to it again.

Otherwise,

It's like a waste.

It's like not picking up the golden nectar that's being offered,

You know?

Yeah.

And,

You know,

We can,

We downgrade ourselves,

You know,

We don't see our own beauty.

And so sometimes it's,

We don't see the teacher's beauty because we're,

Or the love power coming through because we're trying to chunk it all down.

Yeah.

Sebastian,

You're cringing away.

Yes.

But even I just wanted to speak out because I'm just realizing how disturbed my mind is right now,

How my mind tries to disconnect me to this satsang.

And it's very special because I woke up today morning and I felt very connected.

I felt very centered.

I was doing some certain stuff for a ceremony,

What will happen on my place next Friday.

I felt really centered.

I had a wonderful long walk outside.

I felt centered,

But already one minute before the satsang started,

I started to feel super tight.

And like this,

My mind is continuing to go through all the satsang right now.

Good noticing.

Yeah.

It's like a riding a bucking Bronco,

Man.

What?

It's like riding a bucking Bronco,

A bucking horse.

Okay.

The mind.

It's like,

Okay.

So trying to keep concentration while you're having this response is like a cowboy trying to ride a bucking Bronco,

A bucking horse.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's interesting.

I can feel part of you is much happier with rituals than actually this kind of very kind of direct primal.

Let's go to the heart of it.

Mm-hmm.

Yep.

It's like,

No,

I can feel it.

You like rituals better,

You know,

Because it's safe.

It's prescribed.

You can get a kind of spiritual high.

It's very predictable.

I'll tell you what,

You guys,

On one level,

The ego loves rituals.

Okay.

This is part of what happens in the spiritual journey.

People do rituals of the yin yang and they're forgetting their hearts.

Yeah.

Sebastian really don't want to admit this.

I can feel it.

Oh man.

This is verboten.

That's so funny.

Oh,

It's like if you admit this,

You're going to have to become a different person.

Yeah.

Yep.

Well,

Join the club.

This is what the spiritual journey is like.

Yep.

We think we have it sewn up and then what the hell?

So how do you feel?

And just be very,

Very honest about what I'm saying.

Well,

I feel physical something in my heart,

But it's very difficult for me to press down the big smile on my face.

And I'm maybe like,

No,

She got me.

I don't know.

Yeah,

We did.

Good.

That's better than I thought.

I thought you might be upset with me because I was upsetting your apple cart.

Oh no.

Yeah.

Good.

Good.

Yeah.

I got you.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah.

And I can feel that there's levels that you feel,

Oh,

My heart's a tangled weave,

Like a tangled thing.

I don't want to have to go there,

But it's not your heart that's tangled.

It's actually our heads that are tangled,

You guys.

This is very,

Very beautiful,

Sebastian.

Like I'm stunningly happy that I can speak like this to you,

That I can speak like this to the satsang,

That you are this open.

You guys,

When we're in families and we don't feel fully loved,

We go into kind of ritual.

We go into,

Yeah,

Dinnertime.

We're in dinnertime with the family.

It's breakfast with the family,

You know.

And nowadays we don't even have that,

But as many of us had kids.

So we do the ritual of it.

And we turn down our hearts,

Right?

You know,

You are,

It's like your wisdom is in your heart.

So you're going to have to go there more and make better friends with it to get the wisdom.

And it's like Prama Siddha could be your best friend on this,

I'll tell you.

It's like,

I know this,

I know this journey,

Right?

And I can feel you in your heart and you're going like,

It's kind of,

You're going,

It's kind of dark and there's not much room.

Yeah,

And it,

You know,

Really,

It's expansive as the sun.

It's like,

It's like really,

It's just showing you how much space your ego is giving you,

Which is very little,

But it gets hidden by things like rituals.

We don't realize how small.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

We're at a really important part.

You,

You really,

You trust Prama Siddha deeply on some levels,

But there's part of you that goes,

You're going,

I'm not prepared to go all the way on this.

I want to keep my safe place,

Even if it means,

You know,

Being smaller.

Now,

This is just part of how you feel.

It's not the ultimate truth.

Okay.

It's just part of how you feel.

And then just,

You know,

You,

You told me this and then Prama Siddha spoke it back to you just now,

Like you told me psychically.

And then by telling you this,

The light shining into your heart more and your,

Your,

This small space is getting bigger and bigger.

The light's coming in.

Yes.

You guys,

It is this self-observation and self-admitting this stuff,

This really deep stuff,

Admitting it,

That opens the door to our really big journey.

When you admit,

It's like when you admit to yourself how much you've sort of,

A person wants to stay small,

Just admitting it is part of getting bigger.

Right.

So there's light coming into your heart in a much bigger way now.

Yeah.

And you're,

It's like,

You're going to be more at peace with yourself and more forgiving just of your humanity,

You know,

Like allowing your humanity more.

Yeah.

There's something in allowing your humanity,

Letting yourself be like a human being.

Oh.

Yeah.

You're God in human form.

Yeah.

All of you guys,

You're God in human form,

You guys.

Yeah.

You're saying to me,

I'm so restless about this.

It makes me so restless about sort of just being more forgiving with your humanity,

Like being too tight with yourself makes you restless.

Yeah.

And then you go,

And then you go to rituals or,

Or to,

To a prescription of sorts.

And it's,

It's,

You guys,

It's just a wild self-observation and you turn to God all the time.

You observe yourself and you turn to God all the time.

That's what works.

It's what Pramasutta does now,

You guys.

I just observe and turn to God all the time,

Turn to Amma all the time.

That's it.

And I notice if I get caught in my thoughts,

And I notice how stupid my thoughts are.

That's it.

Yeah.

I can feel,

For instance,

You're kind of trying to make this lotus in your heart.

Like,

You're trying to make a lotus in your heart.

Like you're trying to do what I'm saying.

And this is,

This is a problem.

This is what we get.

It becomes like a cartoon.

It becomes so fake.

It's just because we've been taught to do something.

You just have to be,

Yeah,

You're way better than this fake lotus.

It's like,

It looks like made out of a tongue.

So it's like speaking,

You know,

Speaking the right words,

Saying the right things.

Yeah,

Don't say the wrong things.

If it's,

If it's true,

Say the wrong things,

You know,

Like,

Do you guys,

This is what you see in Pramasutta is the amount of permission I've given Pramasutta to just be herself is off the charts.

Yeah,

You're going,

I'm so hungry for approval from my mama.

And their Amma is your mother and Pramasutta approves of you so much.

That's it.

You don't need your physical mama.

My boys do not need their physical mama.

My boys need Amma.

No human mother,

You know,

Human mothers are always going to be flawed.

That's it.

Yeah,

You're going,

I crushed myself to fit in with her.

Yeah,

We do this.

And she crushed herself to fit in with her thing.

Right.

You're just okay,

This moment,

How you are.

And you're okay,

In the next moment with how you are.

Just however you are,

Is how God is feeling today.

Really,

You guys.

However you are,

Is how God is feeling today,

In the human form that God is in.

Yeah,

You're going,

I still don't feel quite good enough.

I'm going to have to work on this.

Yes,

You are.

And this is what you will teach them.

You see,

You'll work on it,

Work on it,

And you'll really know how to teach others how to do it.

Right.

Right.

Okay.

Isn't that funny?

I'm feeling like the direct days of,

You know,

I'd say Amma,

But I don't like speaking for Amma.

So I'm just going to say the direct days of the Creator is upon you with tremendous acceptance and understanding and is pleased.

It's like the Creator is pleased that you're allowing this more,

Bigger understanding in,

Because you're also allowing it into your head,

As well as your heart.

Your head's having to expand to to be able to let it into your heart.

Our head has to give the okay,

You guys.

This is what,

You know,

Amma talks about,

That broadening our minds is one of the most important things,

And Pramasutha feels working with us.

You see,

We have to broaden our minds to have this bigger understanding and to allow the love in.

That's it.

You know,

We're all works in progress.

Think of yourself like that.

Work in progress.

Right.

You're very,

Very valuable.

Part of you is more comfortable with humiliation than with what Pramasutha is saying.

This is so true for almost all of you,

But that's just the child's wounding in the ego.

It's like you're priceless for Arjun.

Yeah,

Truly.

Yeah.

The levels of sincerity that you have that even allow me to speak like this to you.

You can tell,

You know,

I told you Pramasutha's going up.

I've been doing some really,

Really deep work,

And it's showing in how I am with you guys.

See,

We're all working.

We're all working on the same thing all the time.

Nobody's higher.

Nobody's lower.

We're all illuminated.

No,

We're all bumbling idiots who are secretly illuminated,

Discovering this illumination.

Okay.

So,

Allow for both sides,

The bumbling idiot and the illumination.

Both.

That is the secret.

Both.

And,

You know,

When Pramasutha makes these spelling mistakes when I'm doing a really fast growth on one of the send-outs,

It's like we often do something that's kind of humiliating when we're making a shift.

We will often make some kind of mistake,

Which makes it really easy for us to feel judged and for other people to judge us.

But just don't worry about it.

Just focus on the shift.

Who cares about this stuff?

You know,

It's sort of like if anybody gets really upset with the dates being mixed up or whatever,

It's like,

You know,

They're really upset about it and feel it's bad,

Then maybe this whole satsang work isn't for them.

Right.

And the people that look at these mistakes and go,

Oh,

Yeah,

Okay,

But Pramasutha,

She's moving through something,

Then they can give themselves the space to move through their stuff.

There's just a lot of you guys.

Some of us have really difficult spiritual journeys.

Some of us really signed up for the meat grinder.

So,

That means that your heart just has to get bigger in order to do it.

And you created a meat grinder conditioning so that you're to make it so uncomfortable that your heart,

That you'd open up and let your soul help you.

You'd let Amma help you and you'd allow her,

Your soul,

To expand your heart so you could accept yourself and all humanity.

That's it.

This is good.

I feel like we're so much closer to the heart of this training than we have been.

I am so grateful to you guys for your openness,

For your turning up,

And allowing me to speak like this.

Because really,

If you guys were not open,

I wouldn't even be able to speak like this.

I am just so deeply touched by all of you.

So,

Tomorrow we're going to speak about,

I want to talk about anger a little bit.

Because it is the thing that holds people up,

Especially women.

Yeah,

Yeah.

And our inner anger,

When we're not conscious of it,

It is what makes us feel separate from life.

So,

We can go along feeling very separate from life and not realize that it's from anger.

And it often happens when we go,

Oh,

Anger is bad.

So,

We just push it down.

So,

I really want to talk about this.

So,

Tomorrow can be a big breakthrough day for those of us who are wishing to clear it with Amma's grace.

Maybe it won't be a big breakthrough day,

But it just feels like kind of a breakthrough day.

Yeah.

I love you guys very deeply.

Blessings,

Blessings,

Blessings.

See you tomorrow.

Bye.

Bye.