Who Are We—really?

Instead of trying to fix ourselves, we can learn to love and accept ourselves as we are. When we accept the situation we are in - instead of fighting it - we start to surrender. Now we can just be ourselves, and feel as we feel, without numbing out.

Instead of trying to evolve and manage our spiritual journey, we can start being who we truly are. This is such a radical step...to just put your arms around yourself and be who you are, a divine being in human form, here on earth to learn.

Miraculous energy is running the show, so let’s remember God often, instead of focusing on the darkness in the world. Focusing too much on the negative prevents our kundalini and vibration from rising and keeps us unhappy.

Angels do indeed cry for us when we get stuck in darkness and separation. That is how loving it all truly is.

Pray for self-acceptance. Accept yourself and your situation, and it will change!

Transcript

How you're all doing and if there's any kind of global message to you,

It's don't try to evolve.

Please,

You guys,

I see you getting in contortions from your egos with the trying to evolve.

If you are trying to evolve,

You're caught in ego.

The evolution takes place with just,

It's like when you want to evolve,

If you really want to come into your heart and wake up this light,

That's what you'll do.

Think of it,

If you want to go on a holiday,

You don't say to yourself,

Okay,

I have to start saving.

Okay,

I have to choose where to go.

You just start saving.

You just start looking around for places to explore.

You don't get in there at all with trying to fix or trying to do it.

This is where a few of you are caught and you get stressed and Primasuta goes like,

I can't find your heart or she'll say,

You know,

Zip it,

Stop talking.

I don't want to listen.

You know what I get like because it's just the ego grabbing and you don't want to stay there.

You guys,

You don't have to manage yourself so much.

If you want to wake up,

You'll wake up.

You'll just start having dreams.

You'll just start having insights.

It's the trying to do and trying to organize it.

You know,

You might remember,

You know,

You might think about the creator and remember the creator.

Remember that this is the illusion during the day.

If you like reading bad news,

You're getting all worried.

You can remind yourself,

Yeah,

It doesn't look good,

But it's also an illusion here.

And there's high intelligence,

Miraculous intelligence running the show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

But please,

You know,

So many,

I guess two thirds of you try to do the journey and think of it.

It's just like,

You know,

If you want it,

Think of the things that you want.

I mean,

If you want something,

You just start heading that way.

You know,

You just don't have to get in there and engineer things.

Yeah,

Please.

It's actually prevents your journey.

I mean,

That's the sad thing is I watched some of you go into contortions.

It's actually stopping all your progress.

And I say this,

You know,

And but,

You know,

You'll hear it when you want to hear it.

And,

You know,

Maybe after,

You know,

You get so frustrated,

You just don't know what to do with yourself.

The penny will drop.

Yeah.

Please,

If you all stopped trying to evolve.

Today,

Maybe this weekend,

Maybe this is the big,

You know,

Red letter weekend where everybody,

You know,

Stops trying to do it.

And they just like,

Just be with where you are.

Yeah.

Try to enjoy your lives.

You know,

Try to think that way.

Enjoy your lives as much as possible.

Yeah,

You pull my heartstrings.

Really,

I mean,

This is where I go like I had that violent introduction.

But I always felt like so ashamed of that for years.

But,

You know,

I,

I,

It stopped me from trying to do the journey.

It's like,

I was on the journey after that.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Please.

Pull my heartstrings,

You guys.

It's a tiny veil.

The veil will be in your bodies as well as in your mind.

There'll be some,

It'll be probably in your solar plexus.

And so,

In your chakra,

This distrust of God,

And this desire to control will be in the solar plexus,

There'll be a movement to your back.

Yes,

May this just dissolve.

There's a lot of love power beginning to come through and beginning to come out of the words.

So let's have these words,

With Amma's grace,

Coming through these words,

May,

May this,

These words just really start dissolving the,

The complexes in you guys that keep you trying to do the journey.

Yeah,

It's like a little kid trying to breathe,

You know.

Or sometimes I'm working with people and,

And they'll start doing the yoga breathing and I'll say,

Just,

Just be yourself.

With this,

Whatever we feel we have to do something to ourselves,

We have to have Botox or plastic surgery,

Or we have to breathe in the yoga way.

And it's like,

No,

Just be yourself,

Where you are.

It's like,

It's sort of like,

You know,

We don't say to three-year-olds,

You know,

Okay,

Three-year-old,

You have to be fixed.

We just love the three-year-olds.

And we know we don't have to like manipulate Mother Nature.

The Mother Nature in the three-year-old is going to make progress.

Really often the,

You know,

The least,

Less we do,

The better,

You know,

I mean,

Good food,

Attention,

Love and everything,

But not like moment by moment lessons every day of the,

Every moment of the day.

Some people do that with their kids.

Okay.

Is there,

This is the question and answer.

So who has got something to say or question or something pressing and don't be frightened about making fool of yourself.

We're all,

We're all fools,

You guys,

Every human being.

What's that expression in Monty Python,

The upper class twit of the year.

I used to love that upper class twit of the year.

Anyway,

Questions or concerns?

Shell,

Is there anything on your mind?

Yeah,

You have to unmute yourself.

Yeah,

I think you don't know how to unmute yourself.

Okay.

I'll just leave it.

It's okay.

You'll figure it next week.

So somebody else.

This is Shiva Mai.

Oh,

Good.

Shiva Mai.

How are you?

I'm really not sure what to say to make it all be coherent.

But I just went to Mexico and I had a lot of time in this beautiful environment.

And I,

I read this book that,

That was really helpful.

And one of the things that I took away from it was that,

You know,

There really is no sin.

There's only ignorance.

And I don't think I ever heard that quite before.

I mean,

There's,

There's no sin,

That it's all a learning experience.

And that,

That gave me a lot of comfort,

You know,

Since I carry so,

I'm kind of a guilt prone person.

And,

But then,

You know,

I,

All of the stuff that's going on in the world right now,

I guess I keep feeding my head with that.

And the question is,

You know,

Should we get active?

Should I get active and,

And try to make a difference with the politics?

Or should I,

I just tune that all out and pray all the time?

I mean,

It's very confusing for me right now,

The whole political thing.

And I know that,

I don't know,

You know,

What to think.

I know what I think,

But what should I do?

Should I,

And what's the proper thing?

I guess is my question.

Okay,

Well,

I think it's really cool.

Like,

That is a big breakthrough,

I think,

That you've shifted beyond,

Like,

That religiosity and the guilt to,

To,

For the penny dropping,

That there's no real sin.

Sin is just ignorance.

It's ignorance.

I mean,

Really,

Like a mass murderer wouldn't do it.

If he were awake,

Or if he or she knew the karma they were going to get,

They wouldn't do it.

So it's ignorance.

It's a really big deal for you to get,

Right?

I'm getting like,

Yeah,

Badge of honor.

Yeah.

And then for,

It's like,

Do what you will.

I mean,

If you get up,

If you wake up in the morning,

And you suddenly have this desire to do a march or something,

Do it.

But follow your heart about it.

You know,

Don't,

Don't,

I mean,

You know,

Really,

This is the religious way,

The spiritual way.

So the point of this work is more inward.

Although sometimes as a result of moving forward,

We do do something outward.

So you just have to listen to your heart,

Sweetie.

Okay,

I,

I feel,

I guess my heart really,

I don't know,

You know,

I think my heart really,

I want to do,

I want to,

I don't want to just lay down and act like nothing's happening.

And yet,

Um,

And yet,

It steals my peace.

So I don't know if it's my ego that feels like I have to make a difference.

And probably is,

You know,

It's all ego.

I've got,

I've got a lot of ego going on.

So I think the worst thing you can do is like,

Read about this stuff,

And then get upset about it,

And then not do something.

I mean,

Exactly.

Yeah,

So that's my,

I think it's do something,

Or just ignore it all and see it all as an illusion and try to pray and grow in my heart.

I don't know.

I mean,

I guess I am being called to do something,

But I don't know what it is.

Well,

Speak to the Creator,

You know,

I'm about it,

Ask for clarity.

And,

And then just,

You know,

Maybe be spontaneous.

I mean it,

If you suddenly get the urge to join a march or something,

Do it,

See how it feels.

Experiment,

You guys.

Like,

What we do is we go up into our heads,

And we want to figure out a prescription,

Or a recipe.

And it's like,

It's,

It's a moment by moment thing of you just get steered.

But I wouldn't read the news too much,

Sweetie.

Yeah,

I think that's really,

Yeah.

I think,

You know,

I was saying,

And somebody's done a clip,

A very good clip about,

Where I'm saying,

You know,

Steer towards inspiration material.

You know,

Read things that really lift your mind up,

Because those will raise your vibration.

They will raise your kundalini.

You know,

If,

If you look at the news too much,

And,

And don't follow through with action,

It will be sure kundalini down.

You know,

You guys,

It's the kundalini,

Once it's activated,

It will go up through all your chakras and clean them.

So maybe you start,

You've got your kundalini,

And it's been cleaning,

And now you're at the second chakra.

And maybe you're just so full of negative thoughts,

It just doesn't rise any higher.

This is what people do.

This is why I say about the subliminals,

The positive thinking subliminals.

And this is also how we take care of our spiritual journey.

We,

We realize that the too much negativity will,

Will stop our kundalini rising,

And can actually push it down.

It's going the wrong way.

You don't want to do that.

But again,

It's not to fix it.

It's just to get to the understanding.

Because if you really understand this,

You won't do the things that stall your kundalini.

Have I lost you on this?

You guys?

Is this too abstract?

Or do you get what I'm saying?

Yeah,

Okay,

Good.

It's a,

It's part of taking responsibility.

And like I say,

I mean,

I would feel slightly foolish,

But you know,

Primasutra.

So I would read these chicken soup books,

You know,

About miracles and everything,

Everything to keep my mind up.

And I'd say to people,

Why don't you read them?

And they could look at me like I've got like three eyes or something.

What?

But I'm like,

I've been reading them thinking,

Yeah,

This is the stuff that's really true.

Not all the bad news that we think is true.

It's this really great stuff that is actually the truth behind this illusion,

You know?

Yeah.

But Shivamayee,

It might be really empowering to go on a march,

You know?

Or to,

You know,

Give money to something.

Yeah,

To do something might be empowering.

Primasutra does some stuff like this.

I give money to some things.

Yeah,

I just need to think about it,

I guess.

I do.

There's so many things I could be giving money to.

I really,

I donate to AMA,

And I kind of think that that's probably the best thing.

It's true.

I guess,

Really and truly,

I think the best thing to do is to turn.

I don't know.

I'm always so confused about things.

I guess,

I think probably the best thing for my sanity,

Though,

Is to turn it all off and to realize that it's all God's will.

All of this stuff is supposed to happen.

Like you always say,

It's already happened,

You know?

It's in the divine plan for us all to wake up,

And this is the kind of crazy stuff that's going to make us wake up.

That's kind of it.

Yeah.

But it's what to do in the meantime,

You know?

Yeah.

We just live through it,

You know?

Right,

Right.

Remember,

The darker the dark,

The lighter the light.

Yeah.

I think your advice to concentrate on the light is really exactly what is probably what needed,

You know?

Do light things rather than fight the darkness.

Yeah.

You know,

The darkness is just,

It cuts away the dead growth or makes room for new growth.

It's our dark night of the souls that bring us to the light.

Yeah,

There's nothing bad,

Although it's heartbreaking to watch sometimes.

Yeah,

Sure,

Sure.

And,

You know,

Even though it's an illusion,

You know,

It's still part of God as well,

Right?

God is in Maya.

You know,

Everything is made out of energy,

And that is unconditional love.

Everything is God,

Is made out of God.

So,

Although it is an illusion,

It does matter too,

In a way.

So,

Yeah.

But the darker the dark,

I mean,

This is why we've got this spiritual revolution going on,

Because there's so much darkness.

And Amma said there are more saints in North America.

You know,

She said that,

You know,

Basically that there are quite a few saints in North America of individual people who just decided to wake up,

Faced with such an alienated culture.

Yeah,

I'm going to send you some,

Well,

You're on my prayer list,

But I'm going to send you some extra energy.

I can feel it in your heart.

It feels like kind of a shell in your heart.

And it's like your heart's opened.

It's like the shell has opened.

It's just a bit of an old shell that is,

It's going to dissolve away.

And it just feels to me that you're going to increasingly realize that the more you walk around in peace,

And yeah,

Focus on the light and read inspirational things,

The more of a gift to the world you are.

That's,

Yeah,

That's,

I'm really getting that,

So yeah,

It's just,

It's sort of like a seed that's halfway out of a shell,

You know?

Yeah,

I really have been praying more for it to open my heart and to,

You know,

Having more visualizations about my heart,

Because it has felt all my life like it's been surrounded by concrete or something.

And I recently had like a,

You know,

A visualization of it really isn't just concrete,

It's stones that can be taken out one at a time,

You know?

It's not a whole big wall,

It's pieces.

Yeah,

Yeah.

And it's manageable,

If that makes sense.

So manageable.

And we women,

You know,

We get stony,

Really,

The stones in our heart,

Because we get stony.

And the more we recover that full sensitivity,

And we realize that we can walk around with all of our feeling,

We don't have to numb it out at all.

The freer we feel,

And the higher we go.

You're really moving,

Shivamayee,

So it's all good.

I am like a happy camper.

It's all good,

What you're doing.

Yeah,

I feel just right now,

A lifting,

You know?

And I think,

You know,

You invite God into my heart,

Or I'm into my heart,

You know,

But I will know that it was very sincere.

It was sort of like something I thought I was supposed to do,

You know?

But it's becoming more sincere.

I mean,

There's still resistance,

But less resistance than there used to be.

It's a little more innocent,

Maybe,

Or less more real,

A little bit more real,

You know?

Yeah,

Yeah,

This is what I'm saying works on the journey.

Yeah,

If we want to wake up,

We just start waking up.

Yeah,

We don't,

You know,

Wake up.

Wake up is,

I guess,

Another term that it kind of scares me,

You know?

And I feel like,

It seems like it's more like a goal,

You know?

And I think I need to just concentrate on these little things,

Like trying to open my heart,

And the things that lead to waking up,

You know?

And not see it as a goal,

See it as an end,

Because that seems too much sometimes.

Yeah,

I think there's several people in the group who feel this way,

But when I say waking up,

I'm just talking about opening your heart.

I mean,

You're just doing it.

You're just what I'm talking about.

There's nothing separate about the waking up process.

You're doing it.

Your heart's opening.

That's waking up.

Okay.

Yeah,

I feel like the little child in you is,

She's sort of OD'd with the conversation.

It's she needs her space.

Oh,

Really?

Okay,

This is it.

Yeah.

No,

I feel like it's been very helpful.

So,

Yeah,

I'm done,

But thank you.

Thank you.

Oh,

Yeah.

Thank you for picking up this.

I'm sure it helped everybody.

And no,

It was just,

I could feel this deeply sensitive part of you.

Um,

She's a little scared to return to her full sensitivity that she had as a child,

And there's no rush.

It's all good.

Shivamayi,

Like,

Patting you on the back,

Sweetie pie,

You know?

Yeah,

Thank you.

Yeah,

Right.

Good.

Yeah,

It takes courage.

Good.

Good.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Okay,

I'm muting now.

Not so,

But good.

Goodbye.

Okay,

Good.

Michael,

Yes.

Speak,

Old bean,

You.

Um,

I have a question,

And that is that,

Um,

Uh,

You know,

When you talk about going into your heart,

I find sometimes that that makes me,

Um,

More,

Well,

Almost withdraw more.

And I don't know,

Um,

If that's something else.

In other words,

I guess,

Um,

I want to live less outside,

More inside.

And it doesn't exactly,

You know,

Make me want to open to the outside world.

It's like,

Oh,

Just leave me alone.

Let me,

You know,

Let me sort of exist in my,

You know,

Exist in my shell here.

But that doesn't really sound like a hard opening.

That sounds more like a retreat,

Which I know,

That's very analytical.

And too much.

It's almost too much head in there.

But But I'm just wondering,

Um,

You know,

It is,

Do you take that as an opening sign?

Or is that a retreat?

You know,

Michael,

It's like,

I don't want to speak at the level you're speaking from.

It's like,

We'll just go around in circles will being so yeah,

Like,

So drop down into more truth.

Okay.

And drop that feels like just drop down into what you'd really like to say,

Or ask.

I,

I go through these periods,

And I think I'm in,

In a like,

And old feelings of impotence,

And disappointment coming up.

Yeah,

Maybe that's what's driving me into my shell.

Just having interactions with people where it's like,

Um,

Yeah,

It's,

It's the why it's a why bother phase.

I think.

So how's your health finally?

You know,

I haven't really found anything out.

I would say,

You know,

Some of my symptoms,

Certainly,

You know,

My heart symptoms seem to be getting better,

You know,

Just when I,

When I exercise and stuff,

You know,

You mentioned the solar plexus before that's been bothering me for,

For quite a while that that seems to be lifting a little bit.

Um,

Yeah,

Yeah.

And,

And,

You know,

I felt really very close to God.

Um,

And,

And that was,

You know,

Maybe up until a few days ago.

And then I guess that kind of receded into the background.

But,

Um,

When stuff like this comes up,

I really try and give it to Emma.

I try and give it to God and I try and focus on God.

Um,

There's other physical symptoms that are not,

You know,

Not any better.

Um,

But I rate them a less important than I did before.

Yeah,

So,

Um,

It's,

It's,

It feels like it's a little bit on,

Um,

On an island.

And just in a,

You know,

Just things are changing a little bit of upheaval inside.

I guess,

You know,

I find the real Michael very,

Very elusive.

Yeah.

It's like,

Well,

The real Michael,

Please stand up.

Isn't it,

You know,

In the game shows,

Like,

You know,

I,

I mean,

I got a picture and I got something to say to you,

But,

You know,

I've done that before a lot.

And,

Um,

It's more that,

Um,

You know,

Really,

Well,

The real Michael stand up like the Michael-ness.

And I'm really feeling that I got.

Feeling what?

Um,

Elusive.

And it's like,

Where,

Where are you?

Yeah.

So yeah.

And I think part of it is that you're standing there.

Like I saw a picture of you standing kind of over your true nature.

Going,

You know,

It's like your true nature isn't in sight,

But it's,

It's there behind the scenes.

And you're just going,

I need to be fixed.

I don't know how to do that.

And that is basically where you stand and where do you speak to me from?

And that's why we just go around in circles.

Because you don't need to be fixed at all.

You,

You just need to feel love and,

And to,

You know,

Love and forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you feel you've made.

But I'll tell you,

Michael,

As long as I've known you,

You've been standing there over your self going,

I need to be fixed.

How do I do that?

And you're hitting a wall with me because I can't do that anymore,

Man.

And it's not just you.

It's several of you.

It's,

It's a premise.

Suda is changing herself,

Right?

So I'm just following premise Suda's path.

And so I'm rising up.

And so in a way,

I'm,

I can't allow stuff anymore.

It's like,

We're all gonna have to shift you guys.

It's going to be the new normal.

Yeah.

So how does that feel when I say all this to you about the I really understand what you're saying.

And I didn't think I was doing it anymore.

But I guess I am.

Oh,

Yeah.

You never stopped.

Oh,

Okay.

Everybody loves you.

Sweet word.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Listen,

It's not just you.

I'm getting it from everybody.

These things,

It's not just you.

You guys,

You've known you basically you have to just totally surrender.

And when you surrender,

The teacher will validate you.

And before you surrender,

She'll just kind of nitpick at you and criticize you.

But if you go like I'm trying to,

I need to be fixed,

Like what an unloving thing to say to yourself.

Right?

How profoundly unloving that is.

And if you feel it,

That is profoundly unloving.

If you feel that way.

This is our states,

You guys,

This is what's so sad about the West.

You cannot fix yourself.

Your ego can keep you busy your whole lives,

Trying to fix yourselves.

All you can do is accept yourselves,

You guys,

That's it.

Just accept yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember,

You know,

When I was raising kids,

And I was with my mom,

And I was having a hard day with the two of their little,

And she said,

Just pick up the burden,

What she was saying was,

Just accept the fact that they're like,

Two little munchkins,

And it's,

You're going to get nothing done all day.

And you're tired because you haven't had enough sleep.

And stop fighting the situation.

And it was such good advice.

Like within 10 minutes,

I had just accepted that it was going to be one of those motherhood days,

You know,

Where nothing got done.

And,

And then the day felt so much lighter.

And we started having a really good time.

So this is what I want you to do with Michael.

Michael is a 68 year old man,

Who has been really sort of scared to be true to himself.

And his health is not good at the moment.

And he feels that maybe he missed the boat.

Even though he's a really good professor,

And he's really good with his students,

And he's a very loved husband and father.

But in his heart,

He feels that he's not the best version of Michael that he could have lived.

And as soon as you accept this,

Michael,

And just accept your humanity,

You will become the best version of Michael possible.

It's you get covered with fairy godmother dust when you do this.

You get graced.

And you can't really do it with your ego.

And you can't do it with your head.

You can pray for it.

You can pray with all your heart for self acceptance.

If you guys prayed for self acceptance,

If that was your prayer,

An ongoing continual prayer for self acceptance,

You would make more progress on your journeys than you have in the last decade.

I promise you.

I promise you that is the secret.

Just accept yourself and your situation.

And then it changes.

You're very lucky because your partnership,

You're both working on the same thing.

So you know,

You're both doing your best with it.

So it's really lucky.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's really Yeah.

Yeah,

Right.

Things like counting your blessings help,

You know,

Everybody's fond of you,

Michael,

Everybody knows how hard it is to love and accept ourselves.

You know,

This is just what Pramasutha got her PhD in was loving and accepting myself,

You know,

Really,

Like,

That's it.

Maybe I should just start by accepting that I can't accept myself.

Right.

That's a good start.

That's a great start.

Yeah,

Just,

Yeah.

Yeah,

You could say,

Yeah,

Whatever,

Just follow whatever,

You know,

Sometimes stuff like saying,

I refuse to accept myself.

You know,

Saying that a few times,

Then sometimes just expressing that changes the situation.

If we express our resistance,

Sometimes it just alters.

But yeah,

They just you just can have to be with it.

It's like,

It's good,

You're open that I can speak to this way.

All of you guys,

I want to give you medals for how blunt I can be with you.

And you guys,

You don't,

I mean,

You may get insulted,

But you don't run away.

And you,

You know,

You try to embrace it and work it out.

And it's,

It's fantastic.

It's just fantastic.

Because we would get nowhere if,

If I had to be like,

Really polite with you guys,

Like,

If I had to be really,

Like,

Tactful,

We'd get nowhere.

It would just turn into,

You know,

One of those flowery groups.

There's no transformation.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Just experiment,

Michael.

I mean,

You know,

It just gets done.

I mean,

We think we're not doing it.

And we think there's no change.

And then,

You know,

One day we wake up and it's spring and suddenly we realize,

Hey,

We really have changed a lot.

So it's all good.

Is there anything coming up that you need to say or anything?

Okay,

There's just one other thing,

Which is,

You know,

When I say these,

Like,

Oh,

Keep a journal and everything,

And it comes from everything I say to you is,

Is not dogma.

It is this,

You know,

These genetics,

The engineering genetics for,

Okay,

This is what works.

So some of you don't do the things I suggest,

And then come to me and talk about how you're stalled.

So I just have to say that,

Like,

Follow the guidance,

You guys.

It's like,

It really is the stuff that works.

Journal,

And,

You know,

Reading inspirational material.

Filling your mind with that.

Yeah.

You know,

It's funny being a teacher is my love for you is growing for all of you is growing.

At the same time,

I am very cautious about it's sort of like,

Increasingly for me,

It's,

I mean,

It's probably going to sound shocking a bit,

But I've seen so many egos,

And I've had so many years that when you guys say stuff to me,

I do not take it at face value,

Believe me.

I hold it about a foot away from me.

And then I use,

I go into the universal mind,

Feel what's true and what's not true.

Because everybody comes to me and says,

Oh,

All I want is the truth.

And I'm like,

Actually,

Many of us don't.

But when we admit that we don't,

Then we've got a chance to find the truth.

You see,

This is it.

Just admit this stuff.

And then this actually,

This stupidity or the insanity of it will hit you.

It's sort of like,

You know,

The insanity of not wanting truth,

But being part of a transformational group.

When you admit it,

It will just,

It'll just evaporate.

But if you guys know that I don't accept what you say,

I hear it.

I hear it.

And I,

And my heart's open to you.

But I just like a mom with little kids,

You know?

You know,

Little kids,

You know,

They want chocolate for dinner,

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And hopefully that,

That helps you feel more held in love.

That's what I'm wanting.

Yeah,

That you can just come forward with your selves,

Your divinity,

Your flawed humanity,

And it'll all get figured out.

You know,

It's all embraced.

Right.

So Michael,

It's just part of you just matches with Saskia a little bit,

This trouble with actually wanting truth or not.

It's part of where you both,

You both are carrying this.

Like,

I want truth,

But I don't know about this.

It's a bit Chinese.

And who knows what would happen if I just really was myself.

I might leave home and just become a pilgrim,

You know?

And it's like,

All that stuff is just ego fears.

Just,

Just don't worry about that stuff.

Yeah.

So I'm seeing you put down a sack of,

It's a whole bunch of bits and bobs,

And you're putting down the sack and you're saying,

I've been carrying this for years and years and years because I thought it was all very important.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is the stuff,

You know,

Just in your night times,

Like before you're going to sleep,

These kind of imageries,

This stuff from your hearts can bubble up,

Talk to you.

You know,

Some of you have been feeling when I've been talking about the ceaseless prayer,

Like that it's something to put on your shoulders and you should really do that.

And,

You know,

Please don't do that.

Understand that the ceaseless prayer,

Just like,

You know,

Amma says,

If you chant your mantra for three years in a row,

You will achieve enlightenment.

If you do it every single minute.

Amma said that.

Okay.

It's the same principle.

The more you pray,

The more progress you're going to make.

And it may seem really slow to you.

And if you're dealing with a lot of resistance,

You'll just be face to face with resistance and it will seem the prayer is not working or the mantra is not working,

But it will.

But don't please,

Somebody had put it on their shoulders and it was another thing they had to do,

You know,

Along with like a whole list of responsibilities in their life.

Don't do that.

It's,

It's just,

You know,

Keep it in mind that the more you think about the Creator,

If you've got the will to remember the Creator many times during a day,

You're going to grow much faster than if you get distracted with,

Yeah,

The darkness in the world.

It's just this engineering approach thing.

It is what works.

But don't have it,

You know,

Keep practicing,

Just keep practicing.

If it takes you five years to have a continuous prayer going,

Oh,

Well,

Just,

Just have the hobby of remembering it just.

But it could take you years to be able to do it continuously,

But maybe it will happen overnight.

So,

You know,

I'm spending a lot of time at Ramana's ashram,

And I'm having the worst heartburn.

Remember what I said,

Heartburn is trouble stomaching your divinity,

Or,

You know,

Clearing that?

Man,

I walk into his temple,

I sit down,

And I start getting heartburn.

So I've got like,

Antacids.

So I quickly,

Because I was struggling with this,

Sitting with this for like hours,

And it's,

So I've got antacids.

So soon as it starts,

I take it.

But there,

You see the development,

It doesn't stop,

We're always growing.

And Pramasiddhi goes,

Great,

I'm going to be embodying my divinity more,

Yay.

Yeah,

Please be light with yourselves like that,

You know?

And if you get a headache,

Take an aspirin.

You don't have to suffer a headache.

Yeah.

Jenna,

Old bean,

Have you got something on your mind?

Yeah,

I was just thinking about the,

What you just said,

And that I've been thinking a lot during this at saying that in times of integration,

I have a belief that God wants me to suffer.

And in my mind,

I was thinking,

No.

Amma says,

Laugh,

Right?

God wants us to enjoy our lives.

So who is it that wants me to suffer?

Yeah.

Good.

Good.

That's a good question.

That's a good question to ask.

Who is it?

Who's saying?

Yeah,

You should suffer.

Good.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Really.

It'll be an old crown chakra belief,

You know,

From some other time.

It's a religiosity belief.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Good.

And it's,

Yeah,

The personality who needs to dissolve so the soul can manifest.

Yeah.

That is,

You guys,

If you just ask,

You know,

Who am I really?

This is,

You know,

Going to the non-dualism.

If you go,

And this work is non-dual.

But if you go,

Who am I really?

If you think about that several times a day,

That is,

It's priceless to do that,

Because that will,

That opens the door to your soul.

Because most of us,

We know our ego so well,

We know our ego story.

And it's like,

But we're not this,

You guys.

The truth of us,

We're these immortal beings.

Yeah.

So that's a really good question.

I'm happy you're asking,

Because that's the level that solves things.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who is this?

Who's thinking this way?

Just slightly,

You know,

Just slightly.

Guys,

Many of you are so heavy with yourselves.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Post my heartstrings.

Yeah.

So I say,

I remember not laughing for 10 years.

Yeah,

I don't want that to happen to you guys.

Does anybody need to come forward?

Please,

If you want to just come forward,

You know,

If you're feeling it.

You could come forward,

Otherwise we'll probably end.

Oh,

Good.

Good.

I share shortly where I'm at.

I could feel a lot and resonate with Michael.

Obviously,

I think a lot is valid on my journey as well,

As you know.

Yeah.

If I look back at the few two months of 2025,

What was hoping it's getting easier,

I look back and say,

Wow,

That's the intensity even increased.

The last three weeks,

You know,

I took off from work.

Yeah.

Last week,

I was at the German ashram,

Which I felt it really good.

Yeah.

The interesting thing I really noticed more and more,

How many negative thoughts I'm thinking.

Good noticing.

Sometimes it's good.

I mean,

I have a,

Even I had these last three weeks.

The last week at the Hof,

Now I'm at home and Franka came here to visit,

Which was also,

Which is an amazing break because we're,

You know,

We're having a very beautiful time.

Sometimes it helps also to share with someone and you see,

You get reflected the negative thoughts while talking,

But also I notice myself more.

So it's,

I really feel there's so much self-critic and the lack of self-love,

What we always talk about,

But I'm noticing it more,

More and more.

Hey,

That was fantastic.

Yeah.

I mean,

It's,

It's seeing it more and.

Yeah.

Good.

That's it.

And I'm considering,

Now let's start on this,

Like the,

The,

The,

The,

From the symptoms,

You know,

It started with,

I felt quite exhausted.

The physical exhaustion,

It's totally not there.

I just,

The biggest problem currently is really,

I don't know if I shared that with you that since two weeks,

My sleep is unbelievable poor.

I usually wake up at two latest three,

But a few hours of sleep.

And after that,

It's a little bit on and off sleep.

So it's,

It's,

It's crazy,

Right.

It's really since two weeks now.

So obviously that exhausts to some level because I can't sleep.

Yeah.

It's awful.

Yeah.

I've been through that.

Yeah.

I'm trying,

I mean,

I do a little bit natural stuff,

But it doesn't help so much,

But I feel getting more and more into acceptance.

That's how it is at the moment.

And I do my little things obviously.

And,

And I'm considering also taking one more week off on Monday.

I will feel into it and see,

It feels so good currently to not work.

Good.

Yeah.

Take another week off.

Yeah.

If it feels good.

Because I felt even one week at the Hof,

At the German Ashram,

Right.

At the German Ashram.

I felt still like,

Hey,

I still was busy there,

Not with Siva,

Not with work,

But still,

You know,

Walking,

Do my walks in the nature,

Do this,

Do that.

It's,

It's still,

It's beautiful things,

Right.

But still there was a kind of tendency of being busy with other things.

So this being business is always there.

It's a total constant in my,

In my life.

Some kind of almost like the functioning,

The being productive,

Obviously nicer stuff,

Even like.

Okay.

So stop,

Stop,

Stop.

Okay.

So you have gone now in back into the usual thing that you do,

Which is okay.

But I just wanted,

Like,

I got this big feeling of relief when you said that you were noticing negative thoughts and you were actually noticing,

It was like,

You're beginning to take responsibility for yourself in the best way.

It's like,

You notice what you're doing to yourself.

This is going to,

This will end up where,

Where it will change for you.

Because once you see it,

You can't keep doing it the same way.

This is what I wanted.

Yeah.

So I just want to give you a medal of honor for that.

And I get how,

You know,

The sleep it's,

Yeah,

I mean,

That's with me too.

But you,

You totally changed the way you spoke.

It was like,

You started to get on the treadmill that you get on about your life and everything.

And you sort of left that self-observant energy that you were speaking from when you said that you'd noticed these things.

So I just want to shine a light on that.

I'm not getting what you're trying to say.

So the last part,

I didn't get,

Where did I leave my,

When I,

When I started sharing how I acted and I left left.

Yeah.

You,

When you were,

You were really,

You were really on and,

And,

You know,

It was great when you were saying that you noticed these negative thoughts.

As soon as you left that and started talking about sleep and everything,

You got back on this treadmill that you speak from where you get really antsy and you got like these symptoms and you just,

You get on a treadmill,

You get away from yourself.

So I'm just shining a light on that.

That's all.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm just shining a light.

Yeah.

It's good because you're,

You're getting it just that you noticed the number of negative thoughts,

Good noticing and the sleep.

I empathize.

I have done that.

You know,

I did that for two months at the Ashram this time.

And finally,

After two months of these kinds of sleeps,

I,

I put a note in almost,

You know,

By her door going,

Will you help me?

I can't sleep.

And then I've been sleeping well ever since.

So can you get a message to her?

For help?

Yeah.

I mean,

I pray somebody to tell her.

Yeah.

Can you get somebody at the Ashram?

Isn't somebody,

You know,

Who could speak to her about that?

Or write a note and put it in her box by her door?

Yeah.

That's actually even an app where you can,

Where they didn't write into her box,

But I know they send it to a Swami.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ask for the help you've got.

You've been in the Ashram.

She's your friend.

Yeah.

You can get that help.

You don't need to do it all yourself.

Yeah.

Good.

Good.

You know,

But the thing is when you have these symptoms,

That's why I emphasize also so much with Michael,

When you have physical symptoms,

Right?

Like for example,

When with this leg,

I think it's a lack of sleep and maybe that is a liver energetic issue,

Whatever the head feels strange,

A little bit foggy,

Funny.

That's a strange feeling in the head most of the day,

Except I'm really distracted.

Right.

That's obviously why you're speaking to me from the,

From the treadmill.

I don't want to hear it.

Do you know,

This is no,

I don't.

It's like with Michael,

I can't,

Sweetie,

I can't help you from there.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm getting,

I'm getting tougher with you all because I've got my own Dharma that I have to rise to.

It's just more of the message.

I mean,

You know,

What I've been saying to you all along is,

Is trilogy and you have to come into your heart and I really mean it.

And so I give you data when you're moving closer to your heart.

And then I give you data if I see you moving away,

But with both you and Michael,

I don't want to waste any more time.

I don't want to listen to crap.

You know,

That's the bottom line.

You guys,

I don't want to listen to crap.

I will help you get closer to your true natures.

That is why you spend time with me.

And I know that knowing me is hard on your ego and you're all very brave that you keep coming.

But you know,

This is priceless training too.

Right.

And right.

This is good.

It's sort of like with kids,

You know,

With little kids,

You know,

If the mom starts going,

Come on,

You guys,

You have to behave.

They do.

They do.

If I am too patient with people,

I listen to ego crap for hours and I can't stand it.

Yeah,

I can't.

It's making my hair even whiter.

It's making me want to find a cave in the Himalayas.

And I'm just helping you get closer to your hearts,

You guys.

That's right.

It's just hard on our egos.

And you guys are very good with the fact you keep turning up week after week.

Because I'll tell you,

A lot of people won't or don't patently.

So.

So Trillochan,

Get my message like badge of honor.

Premasut is pleased.

Did you register that?

Yes.

And I tried to patch myself,

Which I do way too little,

Oddly at all.

I try to do it more now.

I will do it.

Good.

That's it.

Did you hear his voice?

I will do it.

This is it.

It is freeing the will.

That's it.

Freeing the will that you permission.

That's it.

Oh,

You guys like I'm.

Premasut is a very happy camper.

You guys are so adorable.

Keep coming back to so adorable.

And Premasut was was the same way,

You know?

Yeah,

I was the same way.

I just didn't have a teacher like me.

So I had to figure it out.

Which is lonelier.

But I'm very grateful to you guys for turning up.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Just from the bottom of my heart,

You guys.

So many blessings.

Yeah.

Okay,

We'll see some of you tomorrow.

And this was very good work today.

Okay.

Much love.

Love,

Love,

Love.