Truth Is Always Safe

To be a satyagrahi, (a term coined by Gandhi) means to be a person who holds firmly to truth.

Living as a satyagrahi means living authentically. They stay true to their soul; face challenges with integrity and fearlessness; speak the truth; and turn to the Creator for guidance.

The ego is the opposite. It acts like a guard dog trying to protect us from God, terrified of its own death and transferring that fear to us. When we live in ego, we either dominate or feel helpless, caught in a struggle between control and submission.

True bliss comes when we live authentically, expressing our true Natures and allowing our misunderstandings and weaknesses to dissolve. We gradually feel lighter, happier, wiser and more fulfilled.

Many Westerners have never been mothered deeply. This can leave us afraid to embrace and accept who we truly are. We feel that if we were truly ourselves, we could not survive in this world.

But the Creator will always take care of a true satyagrahi!

Transcript

I've been really cooking for the last couple of days with these satsangs and today I really want to talk about the practice of Gandhi.

Some of you know about Gandhi and his,

And again it's an unpronounceable name,

But I'm going to try Satya Graha.

It's non-violence and Satya Graha,

He is a person who practices non-violence and we think of it often politically because,

You know,

Gandhi got the Brits out of India through the practice of non-violence.

So,

You know,

The Indians and the British would face off and the Indians wouldn't defend themselves when the British beat them.

And finally,

The British got grossed out by their own brutality and left India.

Okay,

So it's really,

I really want to talk about this as it applies to us,

Our personhood,

And psychologically.

Because a Satya Grahi,

You know,

Gandhi taught these people that they were standing in truth,

These were the principles.

A true Satya Grahi would be fearless,

Would be non-cooperation with any oppression,

And,

You know,

They just would,

It's like it's beyond justice,

It's more,

It's beyond justice.

He was really training people to tap into their soul energy and stand for the truth of themselves in a non-violent way,

Which is the only way you can stand for your soul energy.

Because if you go into any kind of violence at all,

It's fear.

Okay,

So many of us are familiar with this idea politically.

You know,

There were non-violent protests even in North America,

But we're not so comfortable or familiar with the idea of an individual making a radical decision to be a Satya Grahi,

To live in truth as an individual apart from any organization.

Just living,

Listening to soul energy,

Following it,

Expressing it.

You know,

Alma talks about being fearless,

And again,

Gandhi taught the Indians to be fearless.

And,

You know,

It's one of the hardest things to,

In working with you,

About to transmit the fearlessness,

Because it doesn't transmit.

You know,

I can,

The soul energy can be transmitted and strengthens your soul,

And that will tend to reduce fear.

But it is also a deep inner choice on your part to just decide to live in truth and face anything that comes fearlessly,

Face anything that comes inside us or outside us.

This is what this one did.

And it's been much easier since I,

You know,

With the bond with Alma.

It's like bonding to a generator.

In the early days,

It was just Masuda,

You know,

A very sort of already like heavy ego,

Suffering under as heavy ego and trying to come out from under this heavy ego and trying to live in truth.

And I used to feel like I was like a car that kept on banging into obstacles,

You know,

Crashing into obstacles,

Because I didn't know how to walk in.

I didn't know myself well.

I didn't really know what truth was.

And it took me some years of clearing resistances till I could really feel that there was a path and that this one was walking it.

So yeah,

There's,

There's so much I want to communicate to you.

And it's going to be a very bumbling satsang because of this.

Because it's,

It's your learning curve.

Well,

Both of our learning curves,

Because,

You know,

I'm feeling like,

Oh,

How can this be communicated to you guys in a way that will really help free you?

So I'm going to roll back and talk about,

You know,

My mom and I talked about I've talked about what a scared woman,

She was a,

She was quite a powerful woman.

And,

But she was scared.

And she was scared,

Because her father beat her.

Her father came back from World War One,

Shell shocked.

So if the kids,

If the screen door slammed,

He would,

It would scare him,

Any loud noise,

And he would then tend to beat the kids.

Like,

It just sounds off the wall to me.

But I actually think this maybe wasn't that unusual,

Just after the wars.

In Germany,

Britain,

Canada,

The US,

I think this kind of stuff is way more widespread than we talked about.

But my mom was so scared,

Although she put a kind of false bravado over it.

And she could be brave in the situations for like her bread and butter.

So she had to do a lot of hosting,

Because my dad's position.

So she would be very brave,

Doing this hostessing set up these elaborate parties and just,

You know,

This,

You know,

She came from a farm,

She learned very quickly how to function in Vancouver socially and be successful socially.

But she was a very scared woman.

Okay,

So you guys,

My mom would be really scared to tell the truth.

But she could yell at,

You know,

Clark in a store.

Yeah,

You know.

And she would tend to encourage this one to be brave,

In a way for her.

But she was very scared to follow through with any genuine impulse.

She was scared to get down to her feelings.

She was walked around in confusion.

She didn't know how she really felt about a lot of things.

Okay,

The reason I'm talking about this is because I see a lot of her in clients.

I see a lot of similarities.

Lots of people walk around in levels of confusion.

And they're too scared to really ask for clarity and find out how they really feel.

And lots of times,

You know,

We can feel brave,

You know,

To stand up for ourselves and stand up for our rights and everything.

But to actually tell somebody,

You know,

To actually get down to our vulnerability,

To put our arms around our own feelings of vulnerability,

And to have like a deeply intimate conversation with somebody.

Aha,

That.

Far too scary.

Okay,

So I kind of want to,

Like,

Promote a new definition of a satyagrahi is somebody who's true to their soul,

Fearlessly faces their issues when they come up,

Tells the truth to themselves and others.

Yeah,

Is honest,

Is honorable in their dealings.

Because you guys,

You know,

These levels,

Like if you say cheating on your income tax,

Or doing some kind of cheating thing,

It's really hard to move into truth.

You have to do it in everything.

And this process of moving into truth,

The kind of the only support you have is your own soul.

You know,

You might have a teacher to help.

But bottom line is,

Your life is between you and your own soul.

It's between you and God.

And you turn to God or your soul or Amma to solve all your problems.

That is what finally leads to self-realization when you do that.

Because when you let God,

When you turn to God,

Or your soul or Amma to solve all your problems,

You are letting go of any training wheels,

Any prop.

It's just you.

And your life,

It stands and falls,

Rather stands and falls on you.

Okay,

So this is finally what would make me brave.

Because,

You know,

If I got in a jam,

I knew that it was only through prayer and listening that I would come out of it.

And,

You know,

Often the solution included something I was very scared to do.

But I was living without any kind of prop.

So I had to do it.

And,

You know,

And I say this with great love,

You guys,

Huge love,

Is,

You know,

And I think it's not just to me,

But people lie to me a lot.

And it's like,

They don't realize even that they're lying.

They,

They're trying to please me,

Or they're trying to kind of,

They're trying to avoid getting down to the truth.

Or say,

In the case of,

You know,

If I'm asking about practices,

Or have you been doing your practices,

Like,

Sometimes they really think they have been doing them,

But they're not noticing that really,

They're skipping a lot of days.

Because they don't really want to stay that aware of their experience.

They don't really want to be responsible for their lives.

So I remember,

Like,

One woman,

I asked her to read some books.

And I said,

Oh,

Have you been reading the book?

She said,

Oh,

Yeah,

I carry them with me all the time.

And I'm like,

I know you don't.

I didn't say anything to her.

But I don't know who she thought she was talking to.

Maybe she thought she was carrying them with her a lot.

See,

Egos really think they're trying to protect you from God.

Truly,

You have to understand,

Your ego is like a dog that is trying to defend you against God.

So when God,

When you start moving to God,

God,

Your ego starts to get like all fast and bark,

Bark,

Bark,

Bark,

Bark,

Bark,

Bark.

And it gets really scared of dying.

And it transmits that you're the one gonna die.

So it makes you feel like you're gonna die.

If you tell the truth in this situation,

Or you follow your heart.

And it's the absolute opposite.

You'll live and your ego will die.

The thing was,

You know,

With my mom,

It,

I was so fond of her,

We had a lot of lives together,

We're really good soul buddies.

So as a little kid,

I knew she was in a lot of pain with this breakdown,

You know,

So as a little kid,

Loving little kid,

I,

I moved in to try and help her.

This is what we do as kids.

And I tried to take her pain away.

This is what we do as kids,

We will load it up on our shoulders.

And of course,

It doesn't,

It doesn't help our parents,

And it imprints us with this stuff.

But that's the gig,

Because we came here to be imprinted with this stuff.

Whatever you got imprinted with,

It was what you came to be imprinted with,

So that you'd have a chance to get over it.

So,

You know,

I was so,

Because my mom was like a real soul pal and everything.

I felt so keenly what she was doing.

Well,

First of all,

As a kid,

I got caught in it.

I didn't know what was going on.

I just knew that,

You know,

I'd have a difficulty,

I'd talk to her,

And I'd feel better for about 15 minutes,

And then I'd walk away.

And I realized that I was feeling actually slightly worse than before I started.

And the reason I would feel worse is because her modus operandi was to deny things.

So when I would come to her with deep pain that I didn't understand,

She would just deny it away,

Which is what she did with her own pain.

She denied it away.

And after about 15 minutes,

You know,

After speaking with her,

I would start feeling really disoriented and worse,

And I didn't understand why.

This took me years to figure out.

And in a way,

It was how deeply I looked into things,

Because I really wanted my freedom.

So I really looked deeply into what had happened during my upbringing,

What and what my responses were.

I remember once writing,

When I was about 13,

I wrote a poem about,

It was sort of a rebellious poem,

About the female role,

And it also mentioned the orgasm.

And my mother said to me,

Oh,

Let's,

Look,

Let's,

Why don't you read that to your dad?

A little,

You know,

The sheep going to the,

Like,

Slaughterhouse.

We go,

My mom leads me in,

I read this poem to my dad,

And he explodes.

And I'm going,

Like,

What happened here?

Now,

My mom was fighting this secret battle with my dad.

So when I was writing this poem about,

You know,

Female strength,

Also about the orgasm and stuff,

It was a way of,

You know,

With supporting her side.

And I was like,

What happened here?

So this is why I experienced my mother as finally dangerous.

The level of her denials were dangerous,

And they were dangerous for me.

And the other reason they were dangerous for me was because she had married somebody who did well,

But it's like,

I couldn't do it,

Because I'd watched her be so unhappy.

So there was just no way I could do that.

And it was,

You know,

I graduated in 1970.

It was like,

We're going to work.

And also,

I just couldn't face being a doctor or lawyer.

It's just like,

Oh,

No,

Help me.

I can't do that.

You know,

I had nowhere to go.

So the great thing about having a lot of emotional garbage and nowhere to go is I actually had to deal with myself.

And,

You know,

This one has done a very thorough job,

And done a thorough job because nothing else worked.

And I was extremely results-oriented.

I've talked to you about my brothers who are engineers.

It's like,

I did,

You know,

Figure out how the spiritual journey worked,

How to clear through,

How to clear these emotional complexes,

And how to find freedom in a very grounded,

Practical way.

That's what I wanted.

We just lost our electricity,

So that's why it's gotten dark.

It's back.

So this is part of why I encourage you to really look deeply at things.

You know,

Writing out your childhood,

Looking at what happened.

One of the things,

You know,

My mom,

Because she had this dad,

And she could never face her fear,

She married then a bully who wasn't violent,

So he didn't beat us.

But it was the same energy.

So it's like the same thing happened to her kids in a more subtle form that happened to her.

Because she didn't do her homework.

And I've told you that my mom transcended this life on her deathbed.

And one of the things that can really help us is when we get totally abandoned,

Okay?

If we're totally abandoned,

We actually deal with our stuff.

And she was on her deathbed,

And I guess she said she was an old soul.

And I guess it became very clear to her that she could,

You know,

Do some ascension very late in life,

But just push him to shove,

She did it.

And if she could have done it earlier,

It would have been easier on her kids.

But,

You know,

It went the way it had to go.

It's like,

You know,

It was meant to be this way.

This one would not be the woman I am without my mom.

And I've said to you before,

It's like,

I smell denial because of her.

She was so subtle.

It would be so hard to detect that.

And I,

You know,

As I said,

I would go,

What just happened here?

I'm feeling so weird.

What just happened here?

So it ended up being that this one is so quick to get,

I smell it.

It's very hard to fool this one.

Because of this training,

My mom.

Now,

She is an example of the reverse of somebody who was not a satyagrahi,

Who was not fearless,

Who did not listen to their soul,

Who did not stand for anything.

You guys,

One of the things that's very common in the people I work with,

And I've mentioned this before,

Many of us are running a kind of a dominant energy and then a submissive,

Vulnerable one.

And we flip between the two sides.

So in some situations,

We'll be dominant and might even be,

You know,

A little bit aggressive.

In other situations,

We'll be more helpless and vulnerable and victim.

Okay,

Living with the way of the satyagrahi,

Which we're probably not pronouncing properly,

But you take all of yourself in service to the divine.

So you're never playing a top dog,

Bottom dog thing.

You're always using all of yourself to share love,

Serve the divine,

Bring more love here,

Telling the truth,

Loving yourself,

Allowing your misunderstandings and clearing and,

You know,

Weak points to dissolve.

And so what happens is,

And what you see in me,

There's a level of a strong quality.

Now,

This comes from kind of like an authority.

What happens is,

If you experience really,

Really deep pain,

Really,

Really elemental,

Deep pain,

There's a level that you get an authority as a result of this,

You know,

It's like a level of truth,

You just know about,

Because you've been at these levels of pain,

And nobody can take it away from you.

Now,

You can get the same thing through being deeply loved by somebody.

You can kind of come into the same level of understanding and energy.

It's like what Amma's hugs bring us into.

She loves us into truth.

But through suffering,

There's a level that you just know.

It's like a level of suffering where you just become non-attached to so much.

You've gone so deep within you,

You've suffered so deeply that you've kind of got this level of non-attachment that just nobody can take from you,

And you just know the truth.

So it's inarguable.

And it doesn't matter if like there were 500 people saying,

You're wrong.

If you've been at that level of suffering,

You know,

It doesn't matter.

It's sort of like if,

You know,

Somebody who comes through the concentration camps,

You know,

Those guys who survived,

Like Viktor Frankl and the level of wisdom that he came out of with that.

It just,

There's an authority to it.

It's just,

You know,

This one is a lot older than most of you,

And this is a long training.

It's very gradual,

Takes time,

And don't,

You know,

Don't judge yourself or compare yourself or be hard on yourselves,

Please.

I'm just kind of want to show the territory.

I just want to kind of spotlight the territory.

You know,

When Alma began hugging people,

She broke so many rules.

She was,

It was taboo for a woman to touch other people,

Let alone people of lower case.

She stole the family gold,

What they had,

And gave it to people who needed it for medical treatments.

She just wildly,

Fearlessly served love.

And when her family finally kicked her out of the house,

And she was also going through,

You know,

She was moving.

I mean,

She was an avatar,

But she went through these spiritual steps.

You know,

Just like Christ went through the crucifixion,

They go through these steps to model to us how to live.

So,

You know,

With Christ's crucifixion,

Truly,

We all get crucified over and over again.

And when we get crucified by life,

You have a choice to move into more truth every single time.

And Alma's,

You know,

She was abandoned by her family,

But she was so in truth that the animals fed her.

And she would be rolling around in the sand,

And the dogs would come and lie next to her and protect her,

Or the cow would come and feed her.

She was just so wildly loving.

I just really want to talk about this,

Spell it out,

Because if you learn to stay present in your bodies,

And listen as you go through your day,

You will get data on what to do,

What to say,

How to be more loving with everybody.

No matter where you are,

Whether you're on the street,

Whether you're at home,

You will get data from your soul saying,

Speak to this person,

Smile at this person,

Give money to this beggar,

Whatever it is.

You will just be informed.

Many of you guys do what I did,

Which was for years,

I was like self-obsessed,

Trying to perfect myself.

And it's like,

You know,

The homework is to stop thinking about ourselves,

You know,

And just think about God and share,

Be nice to others,

Crack a joke,

Bring coffee to somebody,

Buy somebody ice cream,

You know,

Buy somebody's groceries,

Who's ahead of you,

Or behind you.

Really,

It is that constant thinking about yourselves,

And often not in a good way,

That is one of the biggest obstacles.

It's just your egos.

So,

Notice what makes you feel better,

Do that.

And it,

You know,

It's okay to think of yourself,

It's sort of like,

As long as your complexes,

As long as you haven't addressed your complexes,

You will tend to think of yourselves,

Think of yourselves a lot and in a negative way.

And also tend to,

You know,

Resent members of your family and just have charges against people.

So,

If you just know that that's to be moved through as quickly as possible,

To think about the Creator a lot,

And steer your mind towards inspiring things,

Reading inspiring literature.

I used to read about Gandhi,

You know,

It was kind of before I had,

After I finished studying with Abraham,

And it was kind of like,

It was kind of like the only hope.

You know,

I had met Amma,

It's like Gandhi's example.

So,

I read about that,

And I decided,

Well,

I'm just going to be a Satyagrahi.

I'm just,

I'm just going to be this.

And I never told anybody.

You're all so much better than you think,

You guys.

Okay.

Like,

I'm clearing some land,

So that you can see kind of the lay of the land a little bit more.

You're all beautiful,

And there's no criticism in this.

If it feels like criticism,

That's Prama Sutta's mistake.

Just say it's Prama Sutta's mistake,

Okay?

I mean it.

Just say it's Prama Sutta's mistake,

Please.

Yeah,

Please.

Part of the reason,

You know,

We've all been trained to feel so small,

And that we're not much.

I mean,

This was,

You see,

With my mom,

Because she was so scared.

You know,

She couldn't,

She couldn't really believe in her kids,

You see,

Because she was so scared.

She gave me a great gift.

After I came back from,

You know,

I was back in Vancouver after going through the nervous breakdown and everything,

And I picked the kids up and everything,

And she turned to me one day,

And she said,

You know,

You really aced it.

And I'm like,

I'm thinking,

What's she talking about?

Well,

I realized afterwards she was talking about,

She was actually witnessing me and telling me that I had stayed really true to my own own soul going through that,

And that I'd aced it in a very deep way,

And she was right.

I had stayed really true to the soul within me with going through all that.

And I didn't run from it,

And I didn't deny it.

I just went through all that turmoil,

And I emerged from it more like a child,

Less,

You know,

An upwardly mobile,

Competitive,

Aggressive journalist.

Right,

That's the point of Dark Night of the Souls.

We,

They leave us freer.

Our armor comes off.

See,

In her comment,

You see,

That showed that she was actually really aware of the soul and the soul energy.

She just couldn't be true to herself.

And,

You know,

That was,

She didn't really support what I was doing except that came out,

You know,

That she was saying,

Really,

You're deeply on track.

My mom had a heart of gold.

She was just scared,

You guys.

And when we're scared,

We're very confusing,

Not only to ourselves,

But to other people,

Because we will say different things depending on a different day,

And we'll say different things to people,

Different people.

We won't be united.

Like,

The more that you develop on the journey,

You just unite with the truth of yourself,

So you are the same with everybody.

You don't change dramatically with whoever you're with.

Whereas when we're in our egos,

We will change dramatically and say different things depending on who we're with.

Please don't be hard on yourselves,

You guys.

That is the ego.

I don't,

I'm really not wanting you to be hard on yourselves.

I'm wanting to just kind of blow away some cobwebs of confusion,

Because,

You know,

When I've talked to you guys,

Sometimes I feel like,

Oh,

The level of truth we're getting down to isn't very,

It isn't very deep.

It's just,

You know,

All of us,

You know,

We want to feel better.

And any spiritual teacher who's got a heart wants to help,

You know,

Feel better.

But,

You know,

The truth of it,

We feel better about life the more true to our soul we are.

Right.

That's what I'm really interested in communicating.

The great bliss of just being true to your own soul.

And daring,

You know,

To seem foolish to people who,

Who aren't even noticing us anyway.

You know,

People don't care.

Like,

They're just obsessed with themselves,

Please.

You know,

Most of us are carrying such huge maternal deficits.

It takes,

Most of us need so much mothering,

Really,

To even begin to wake up in a deep way.

This is what I find over and over.

The deficits,

The extent to which the lack,

How far we are from,

You know,

The aboriginal simplicity,

How far we are from Mother Nature,

We're so far from our hearts,

You guys,

We're at the seventh degree of alienation,

Basically,

That we can be at and still be breathing.

This is where we are.

That's our normal.

So,

We need a lot of compassion for ourselves.

Really,

A lot of compassion.

This is why we're in so much pain.

Especially the women and children,

Although the men now are finding,

Gee,

The men are finding out what women and children have lived in for decades,

Really.

And run from,

Run from,

The women have been running from it.

Trying to fit in.

Trying to,

You know,

Stay economically viable.

I read this woman,

This vice president,

Didn't get a job she was very qualified for,

And they told her afterwards it was because she didn't wear any makeup.

I'm like,

Oh,

So things are getting better,

Are they?

This is great.

You have to,

Like,

Raise the kids and also work full time,

And then you have to,

Like,

Wear makeup and everything.

I was like,

It's actually getting worse.

Yep.

It's getting worse because of the lack of truth.

We're all too scared.

So,

Many of us are just too scared to just get down to the truth of us and speak it and live there.

Right.

So,

If you just get that,

If you just get that,

That's what the problem is.

Part of you just doesn't want to get down to the truth.

You don't want to really know.

I mean,

If you just get this from this sad saying,

What will happen is you will sink more into truth just as a byproduct.

You don't have to force anything.

You don't have to do anything.

If you just get this,

The penny dropping,

How scared you've been of truth,

And how much you think that actually,

If you were in truth,

You would not be fed or housed or have any friends.

Really.

And it's not true at all,

But it's what our egos say.

And they say that because when we were little,

We had to fit into the family climate.

And if you're five years old,

You can't earn your living.

So,

For a five-year-old,

It is true.

Moving into truth,

There's,

You know,

There wouldn't be any place to sleep.

There wouldn't be any food.

The five-year-old would not survive.

But we're grown up now.

And premasuda has survived this terrible scare of life.

And the universe will take care of your finances.

But,

You see,

For it to work,

You have to then,

You know,

Do the journey at a hundred percent.

You can't be ambivalent and go,

Okay,

The universe is going to support me.

It's like,

You will get an ambivalent response from the universe.

You know,

In the clearing,

It took me so long before I could hear a male speak to me without me feeling that I had to be subservient.

It's like I took the time to notice this minutiae of actually how I really felt.

And I have felt profoundly sorry for males,

Because we women have all kinds of emotional responses to their voices coming from living in the patriarchy.

And they don't know.

They don't know about it.

And the women are often running from actually realizing this,

Noticing their emotional reaction to male voices.

But,

You know,

If you don't notice this stuff,

Then all these,

You know,

Levels of resentments and complexes,

They operate in your life.

They just flow along.

They're steering things,

Not your soul.

Once you have the courage to notice these things,

They dissolve.

If you notice all your withholds about moving into truth,

And you sincerely talk to the Creator,

Alma,

Angels about it,

These will dissolve.

There's one lovely,

Lovely woman with a heart of gold,

Who's too hard on herself.

And I asked her to write a list of all the good things about herself.

And it's a lovely list,

But it's a little bit sparse compared to what I see.

I see her as even more than what she wrote.

But,

You know,

It's sad that we have to be encouraged to,

Like,

List what's good about us.

You guys,

It's actually heartbreaking.

It's absolutely heartbreaking.

And,

You know,

I remember when I was in the psych ward,

And they did this exercise of,

You know,

Give one good thing about yourself.

And I remember going,

Like,

The only good thing that I could think of was that I was a really good friend to people.

So,

I was,

Like,

32 or so,

33.

And,

You know,

I'm going,

Like,

It was such a tiny part of the truth of Pramasutra.

You know,

It's just like in an iceberg,

The tiny bit of the love showing that this one was a good friend,

Compared to the huge love that's coming through now,

And will increasingly come through.

It was just sort of the tip of the iceberg of who Pramasutra was.

And even to think of that was a stretch.

And when I think of,

Like,

I was a good friend,

Because I would be offering,

You know,

All this love to others,

And be very parsimonious with myself,

As I notice you guys can be very kind of ungenerous with yourselves.

Yeah,

Please be generous with yourselves.

As a modus operandi,

As a way of going forward,

Be generous.

You don't have to tell people.

You can keep it quiet.

But give yourself pats in the back,

Give yourself medals,

For every breakthrough,

Every improvement,

Every time you dare tell the truth.

You know,

This talk,

There's a little bit of a hardness to it,

Which is kind of funny,

Because really,

What I'm talking about is so soft,

And invincible,

And transparent,

Translucent,

Golden.

It's just love,

Guys.

It's just to free the love.

And,

You know,

Sometimes with this,

You know,

It feels like,

I don't want this work to get trivial.

You know,

It's not just feel-good work.

This is self-realization work.

It's just very friendly.

Very feminine,

And very kind of,

You know,

Non-religious in the usual way,

You know.

Worldly.

It's worldly.

It's a worldly training.

It's a training for worldly people.

Worldly people who want to become self-realized,

Yeah.

Right.

Some of you come,

You have real trouble taking yourself seriously,

And you just come for comfort.

You come to warm your hands by the fire.

Yeah.

And I'm hoping over time that you'll,

You know,

Think about this living as a satyagrahi.

Take yourself more seriously in a noble way.

And,

You know,

Pramasutra imagined my life into being,

You guys.

Really.

I just imagined it.

I just acted as if I was going to be this teacher one day.

And to be a teacher,

I had to know something.

And I just acted it.

It's like my own little personal myth,

My own little personal story on the inside.

And I just kept playing it,

Doing it,

Thinking about it,

Focusing on it,

Wanting to embody love,

Wanting to help people light the hearts,

Light the candles of the hearts.

Because,

You know,

I would go sometimes to Buddhist groups,

Or,

You know,

And there'd be many people,

And everybody just seemed alienated.

Nobody seemed very nice.

And I just couldn't do it.

It wasn't kind of personal enough.

Yeah,

And it's this personal touch to come close and light the candles in your heart.

Or if they're already lit,

To strengthen the fire.

Yeah.

Remember,

The love is getting transmitted.

The love's getting transmitted.

It's strengthening you,

You know.

It even changes our chemistry.

What happens?

As we move into truth,

Our physiology changes.

Anybody who's moving into truth will know this.

I don't think they've done much studies about it.

I remember Abraham went to the University of Hawaii and had his brain tested.

And the way his brain functioned was very,

Very different from normal.

And I also heard a neurologist talk about that there was a default circuit,

That there was a default circuit in the brain that lit up when somebody was in their ego.

But if with meditators,

It didn't light up the same way.

There were more lights in the brain lit up.

But I haven't studied this at all.

So,

You know,

You can bond with truth.

You bond with love.

It's like your souls,

You guys,

You bond with your own soul energy.

Comes into your body,

And you bond with it.

I was speaking to somebody on the phone,

And they had a little bit of a antsy feeling in their tummy.

And then we spoke.

And then it shifted into a feeling of being stronger in their tummy.

They made a shift into embodying their truth.

And remember,

Any shift,

It will come up with,

There'll be a negative feeling to begin with,

There'll be like a clench in the heart,

Or tightness in the tummy,

Or heaviness in the shoulders,

Or feeling of pressures.

And then with the shift,

There will be feelings of lightness and expansion.

And you'll know that you're on the right track.

You guys,

If you send me an email,

And I don't respond to it,

Resend it,

Okay?

Because I may have missed it.

I'm getting a lot of emails these days.

So feel free to resend if you feel I've missed it.

So I don't want you feeling I'm neglecting you.

You know,

There was an Indian king in the 12th century.

I have to look up his name.

I want to say it's A-S-H-O-K,

But I think that's wrong.

But he battled,

And then he had a conversion,

And he taught nonviolence.

His whole kingdom was run in nonviolence.

I'll look up about him and tell you more about him.

But this is 12th century.

This person did this.

And when he died,

It got lost again.

But for the time that he was living,

And there were some decades,

It held all across his kingdom in India.

It is possible for one individual to just make enormous change.

Imagine the 12th century.

Yeah.

I hope you're feeling loved.

I hope you know that I love you all very,

Very much.

Yeah.

It's,

You know,

I want to say it's an arduous training,

Except once you get that you're acceptable,

Please accept,

Love and accept,

Embrace yourselves,

You guys.

Please just embrace yourselves as you are.

Once you get that,

You'll be able to grow.

Yeah.

This is the fearlessness to just have the courage to just decide that you're acceptable the way you are,

That you're good enough the way you are.

You may have things to learn,

But that you deserve the breath that you're breathing.

You know,

You're here because God wants you here.

You are an expression of divinity.

Just as you are.

Yeah.

Just as you are.

And you know,

Yeah,

We're never going to make everybody happy.

And there's so many unhappy people,

And lots of times all they know is to make other people unhappy.

I was,

Today at lunch,

I was,

You know,

They were slow starting for the lunch.

It's,

Anyway,

The,

It was fine.

And so I went up,

There were a pile of boiled eggs.

And I said,

Oh,

Shall I just take two?

Because I didn't see any,

There was no serving thing or anything.

And the woman,

The woman said,

Oh,

Patience,

You should have patience.

And I'm like,

I'm like,

What the hell?

I just was asking if I should just take the eggs or not.

It's like,

I wasn't impatient.

And I,

I thought to myself,

You know,

Boy,

When women,

You know,

We,

When we women do the schoolmarm thing,

You know,

The correcting,

Overcorrecting schoolmarm thing,

We do it so well.

Her,

Her,

Oh,

Patience.

And afterwards,

I thought,

I noticed that I thought,

You know,

This woman really bothered me.

This is like sitting with me.

So I gave it over.

I'm going like,

Why am I bothered by this?

It's so stupid.

But anyway,

It's like,

She was not a happy person.

So she wouldn't crack a joke with me.

She'd like,

Remonstrate with me with something.

There are lots of them around you guys.

It's just like,

You know,

We have to get over them quickly.

Like,

Bless her.

Bless her.

I'm telling you this,

Because I want you to understand that this stuff,

Some of this stuff doesn't go away.

It's like,

You know,

Like,

If somebody's being schoolmarm-y with you,

It's kind of like,

Oh,

God,

Not again.

You know?

Yeah,

Don't try to be perfect.

You know,

Primasutra,

I don't try to be perfect.

It's like,

Yeah,

She bugged me.

I was even thinking of like,

Things I could have said afterwards.

You know what I was thinking afterwards?

I was thinking,

I could have said to her,

You know,

The most impatient people are the ones who tell other people to be patient.

Maybe if she does it again,

I will.

I might,

You know,

This is it.

I don't have a lot of rules.

It's like,

You know,

Let yourselves be,

You know,

Really.

Yeah,

Just give everything over to the creator and be yourselves.

Please.

No,

Like,

You know,

No giving yourself a hard time for being irritated by a schoolmarm person.

With the laugh at these things,

You guys.

Yeah.

Yeah,

We have to laugh.

We're taking things so seriously.

I was just watching a video about Yogananda,

And it was like,

These secrets about Yogananda.

And there was this guy who was bowing before him,

Making a big fuss about bowing,

And it was really fake and everything.

And,

You know,

Everybody noticed,

And it was fake.

Yogananda later,

Yogananda was up on the second floor,

He's leaning out a window,

And he had a bag,

And the guy was underneath.

And Yogananda dropped this bag,

And it was a bag of water on top of this guy's head.

On top of the head of this guy who did all this fake spiritual groveling.

It's like,

I like that.

I thought that was great.

Anyway,

There were a few stories like that,

Of Yogananda doing some tricky things.

Yeah.

We don't always hear about people's humanity,

You know.

Okay,

So it's 10 after hour.

We've got like a few minutes for questions or comments.

I hope you're not all just going to be speechless after this.

I was thinking,

It took about six months of running the satsangs before anybody spoke,

Do you remember?

Nobody spoke.

But you'd turn up,

And I'd do my thing,

And then when day came,

You started speaking up.

It was so great.

I hope you guys all laugh about this,

You know.

We're all crazy.

We're all crazy.

It's the last call of the last call.

Everything's falling apart.

The U.

S.

Is getting crazier and crazier.

It's sort of like,

Well,

You know,

It's like we're in a Monty Python program.

So you might as well just move into truth,

You know,

And just like do your best with it.

But you know what's really great is probably there's no other time that somebody like Premasuddha could surface and that people would listen to me.

That's what I think.

Because Premasuddha never would have fit into the monasteries.

I would have had trouble fitting in with Amma,

You know,

If I'd lived really close in with her.

I don't know that I could have done it.

You know one of the things that really would have been hard for me,

Not getting a lot of food.

Like when I read about how they ate rice for like the first five years because it was so poor,

I didn't know that I could have done that.

But then I also heard Amma had said that when you lose a lot of weight like that,

That it helps you clear emotional trauma and complexes.

It's interesting.

So that may have been part of why there was little food in the early days of the ashram for the brahmacharis to drop their emotional complexes.

You know that big swami,

One time Amma,

I don't know what he did wrong,

But he had to wear a sign the whole day and walk around the ashram and the sign saying,

I don't know,

I'm a fool or something.

Yeah.

Or sometimes,

You know,

There's another story where he was in Amma's room and they were talking very well and suddenly she got mad at him for no reason and made him stand outside the door and he was crying,

Standing outside the door.

I don't know whether she came out and got mad at him again.

And then I think finally she opened the door and then said,

Why are you crying?

Come back in.

And she was nice to him.

And now,

Again,

I can't speak for Amma,

But I know with my work with you guys that I push you away when your complexes are showing up and I will draw you close back to me when you're through them,

When you're open.

And I get really fierce with you for a short period and then when you're sort of humble enough or you've made an opening,

I'll draw you back.

So I wonder if that's what she was doing.

You know,

She's trying to help these brahmacharis clear because she says,

Or in the books,

I don't know where I came across this,

But they gathered around her and then they all started fighting and judging each other.

And they didn't know how to self-observe themselves or take any responsibility.

So they,

For their own process.

So she had them meditate for eight hours a day.

And if they lost focus,

She'd throw stones at them.

But then even that,

Then they had trouble with.

So then she gave them seva to keep them busy.

And then they're serving the humanity,

You know,

Serving things.

And I think just around her,

No matter what she had them do,

That they just gradually grew out of their complexes.

It seems to me you just would around Amma.

If you could stand the heat,

If you could stand it,

You would lose your complexes.

One of the things she has said that the people who are far away from her,

They think about her so much and they miss her so much that actually they make really fast progress.

Sometimes faster than the people around her,

She said.

I think whatever way it works,

You know,

If we're meant to be farther from her,

Then we do that.

And if we're meant to be with her,

We do that.

We all find our way.

We're all right where we were preordained to be.

We were preordained,

We had an agreement to come together today for this satsang.

This would have been made before time.

Yeah.

Right,

We're doing it.

We all turned up.

We're doing it.

We're right where we're meant to be.

And we're all on the verge of coming into a much bigger understanding.

I'm not kidding.

This year,

There'll be a much bigger understanding at the end of this year.

I promise you.

We're still here.

I'm kidding.

Hopefully,

We'll still be here.

Yeah,

But I mean it.

It's a big,

Big growth year.

Just keep thinking about the divine.

You know,

You see,

You guys,

If you're thinking negative thoughts about yourself,

You're going to go nowhere.

If you think about what would it be like to feel peace?

What would it be like to really be in my soul energy?

That kind of thinking opens up your cells of your body to receive love.

Really,

I told you once,

I got a bulletin from the universe with,

Basically,

This angel came and said,

Janet,

If you never think another negative thought about yourself,

It won't be too soon.

Meaning,

I was really slowing my progress with all my negative thoughts about myself.

It's like,

I'm Virgo,

You know,

Virgo.

So,

I don't know.

Is anybody a Virgo?

Oh,

God.

I feel sorry for you if you're Virgo.

It's like,

Yeah.

I'm sure all the signs have challenges.

Virgos with the criticism and self-criticism,

I found very difficult.

You're very dear,

You guys.

Later,

So it's 11.

20 or so.

So,

At four o'clock my time,

I've got a taxi driver picking me up.

I'm going to be going to that hill,

You know,

That Bhagavan Maharishi.

So,

Amma's away on the South Indian tour.

So,

I'm going to go to the hill and see,

I don't know,

Just see what it feels like.

You know,

It's probably like,

Maybe it's a big tourist trap now.

Oh,

Well.

I'll find out.

But a change is always,

It's always an adventure,

You know.

Four o'clock in the morning.

Oh,

My goodness.

The traffic is getting so bad in India that the taxi driver wants to go at four o'clock in the morning because he says that otherwise it's just going to be big traffic jams.

Humanity,

We're so funny.

Has anybody got any comments or questions or anything after all this?

Maybe there's not much to say.

Remember,

You can grow and laugh and just be yourselves,

Be human,

You know.

That's what you guys like.

You know,

That's why you love me is because I'm just so human,

You know.

Yeah,

And honest.

And just be honest like Premasudha,

Really.

It's nice.

Yeah,

All your faces,

You just look so dear,

You guys.

I just like,

Feel like giving you all kisses,

So sweet.

Yeah.

Well,

It's,

You know,

It feels like there's not much to say.

It's sort of understandable after this satsang,

You know.

It's just maybe something to digest.

Remember,

Listen to satsangs again if you can,

Because it does,

It does go in on a whole other different level.

Oh,

You're very dear,

You guys.

Bless your dear hearts.

Yeah,

Bless your dear,

Dear hearts.

Yeah,

I love you very much.

Yeah.

Oh,

Blessings,

You guys.

Bye.

Reviews

Thank you for the satsangs Premasudha, even though I'm not there it's still helping me. Also, I'm a Virgo too 😊💚🥰