The Mud Of The Lotus

In today’s Question and Answer Satsang, Premasudha asks us to embrace what is and ask the Creator to help and guide us. There’s no need to be other than how we are.

The first step is to see our own darkness, without fighting it. It is just the mud of the lotus. A steady focus on the Creator and the sincere wish to embody our true Energy gradually transforms us. Over time, the muddiness of our ego dissolves and we blossom like a lotus flower, becoming full of wisdom and love power.

We might carry resistance arising from other lives, but even so, healing happens when we stop fighting and accept that we are all a work in progress, already good enough. (How could divine beings in human form not 'be good enough'?) Then, even the cells of our bodies open to unconditional love, allowing our innocent, loving Nature to emerge.

The ego thrives on resistance and negativity, but there is always more light than darkness. Trust! The Universe is taking care of us!

Transcript

I did have something to say and it's you know this many of you turn up because you know it's powerful work it's it's it's the power of love and a couple things one is on one level it's very important to accept the guidance of your teacher really listen and follow and equally important is to know yourselves to learn to bond with yourselves I mean the point of the teacher is they could midwife you to bond with yourself okay so sometimes we can wait too passively for the teacher to give us permission to do something that our intuition is saying to do you see if follow your intuition follow your guidance you know listen and yeah sometimes people are a little bit embarrassed about themselves so they they push themselves down and then try to bond with the teacher on top of that that won't work it's you know it's it's kind of hard to put words to all these things but you know just even this attempt will help clear this energy so that you can hopefully be brave enough to love and honor yourself because in the in the west we've been so outer directed that there's a taboo on getting to know yourself to love yourself so sometimes people hold on to teachers and follow it in kind of a military way and lose the heart of what the teacher is trying to communicate okay the other thing is the other side is I'm going to give you an example something that happened this is some time ago now not recent but there was a wonderful individual who had a big capacity for unconditional love and I told this person that several times but they were you know a little bit nervous about getting to know themselves and they didn't want to come to satsangs you know they just really the resistance was saying you know would make them busy with other things but this individual really wanted to work with me every time I visited the city so she came for a session and you know her issue was to embrace herself and embrace her experience and she made a beautiful shift during our session and then she promptly broke her arm okay so remember arms embrace and because she hadn't been you know coming week after week and allowing the opening to come in gradually she got kind of a violent thing now it's all to the good she needed to be taken care of she needed to get out of some of her duties it's also so good but it was very clear to me I couldn't allow this person to come back for sessions if they weren't coming to satsangs because I just knew that it would get more violent you know the shock the step into truth it would be a bigger step when she came and then the integration because she wasn't you know you know not only not coming to satsangs regularly but doing no basically spiritual practice at all do you see so you can't go and get a blast of really really powerful love you know to sort of suit your own needs or your own wants and just ignore the journey you see the universe you know won't allow that and that's why I told this person that I couldn't do a private session with them because I thought you know next one it would be even harsher so I just wanted to explain that that even though this this work is very invisible it's very very powerful and if you've asked for universal love you you have to take care of it serve it and I know many of you you know many of you do I'm sure you all do spiritual practices and everything it's all good but I'm just saying it's just because it's invisible doesn't mean it's not powerful and and you don't want to be on the wrong side of it yeah some of you are a little hesitant to let go of your egos and you worry me a little bit about that so I tell you so if I've told you this this is part of the meaning behind well I'm saying it you know we're in the last call of the last call so all systems go be as you know honorable a student as possible not of premasutra but of the unconditional love yeah that is what's safe and then the universe will go very very gentle with you so I can you know premasutra the authority that I speak from is I have been on two very drastic sides of this I've been on the violent side of the universe and I've also been on the softest petals of the universe yeah and you know even if you know the universe gets rough with us I mean look you know I did didn't kill me and I surfaced and I learned and you know one of the things about getting a sharp shock of a lesson is you get a lot very humble very quickly and that served premasutra very well was how humble I was made from all my struggles yeah but just remember how it's invisible but it's really really powerful and it is the true reality we are divine beings in human form the true reality is what wins our egos don't win they never win you guys that's why it's so sad sometimes when I watch you holding on to them because it's like they don't win they're just deluding you but you know premasutra knows what this is like we just remember it's already happened we're all doing our best so and you know obviously it's not I'm not saying you have to come to satsangs every week I'm just saying realize this is powerful work and and and treat it well treat it with respect it's a little bit like going into you know a little bit of a nuclear facility it is a bit so take care of it we don't want monkeys in the nuclear facility yeah okay well just go ahead and what's been pressing on your heart well that's the thing I you know when I get those quiet moments to myself um being like what I feel when I put my energy my my awareness to my heart is it's not a pleasant feeling it's I mean I want to feel nice good whatever it is but it's it's it's discomfort it's it's something I'm not sure even what you know Ravani this is what the journey's like it's just embrace it sweetie you can't you know if it if the field is got manure in it you know you can't it's got manure in it you just embrace what is and bring love to yourself I mean this is you guys a biggest confusion you think you have to be something other than who you are or the state you're in just embrace the state you're in and ask for help sweetie well sweetie pie that is a big understanding to get you start you are God in human form you start with the truth of how you are we start off you know Ama talks about the state of most people is like sewage this is the first step of the journey you stop and you realize how full of sewage you are yeah yeah good I think I can do that yeah we'll just do that yeah that's good it's a relief your face looks like a little kid it's like relief you don't have to fix this you just bring love yeah embrace this is the state of Bhavani yeah you know send compassion to yourself imagine Ama hugging you and do it constantly Bhavani that's what I did constantly and what happened it started a transformation in me and I'm pleased that you're coming down to the ground and coming like ready to deal with you with yourself as you are rather than trying to fix or pretend you're in a different state than you are yeah good good it's like your whole the whole cells of your body are going to relax with this I can feel it yay breakthrough time really I've done the three weeks of supplementals and I mean I'm still continuing but it feels it's good yeah keep doing it sweetie I'm going to stop because your audio is so sort of challenged so the things I said to you I'm really glad you're doing the subliminals and keep doing it and that will do a lot of the work for you and then yeah just embrace yourself and talk to Ama about yeah okay good and remember you know beautiful flowers grow out of fields full of manure it's true though it's the mud of the lotus that's it okay good happy happy okay I just wanted to say that your laughter is infectious that's like medicine today good good you know Veronica I didn't laugh for 10 years you know so when I recovered it I've never stopped laughing yeah that's amazing yeah what to recover to lose it for 10 years and recover it I guess you had to lose it to find it so both that's it and that's why I understand how you guys get stuck in your heads because really I lost my sense of humor for 10 10 years and if premisuda you know think of the I'm such a light-hearted soul really that it my head had to be so heavy to make me stop laughing and that's why I understand you guys about how dark it can look sometimes I get it okay thanks Veronica Susan was that you who spoke up somebody spoke up it was me Saskia hi oh Saskia okay there you are yeah okay how are you I wanted I'm I'm good I wanted to share a banana moment I call it banana moment because remember you told us the story of of the boy and his mom on the bus right so I really had a moment like that where the universe gave me a banana and it was really nice it happened it happened in a way it was totally unplanned you know like the universe does that it brings you to places you want to be somewhere you're planning something totally different and then you stand there and this in this situation it was about a table it's not about the table but that's how it happened I stood in front of a table that was super cheap and we were needing a table it was almost free I didn't look for one and I don't know it was all happening the way we we got all of a sudden somebody with a van and without even doing something we had a table and five chairs that came in the same moment the woman said that's funny because they match the table but they come from somewhere else and it's five we are five it was so incredible and now we have that new table it's not about the table I could have looked at the old table I don't care so much of course it's but the table is like a message to me you know I feel like this this person that's always looking for sales and I'm not this perfect abundant woman which I would like to be I'm the one who's always like you know doing the the looking for sales things and I don't like that but then I thought oh wow the universe is helping that person so if the universe loves that me I can love myself too that was the message and it it dawned on me on a deeper level that I'm just taking care of and all of a sudden I was looking back and I was all my life it was incredible all my life the things happened like that and I didn't I realized in a way but not like that you know it's really like being on a you know like these bobsleighs they are in a in a thing like that and you just go and and sometimes when I had a rejection I don't know you offer you apply for a job and they don't take you looking back it feels like somebody's saying no stay in there and my whole life felt so yeah I just had that feeling of being really well taken care of in that moment and that made me very happy good good sweetie this is how you become the abundant woman that you want to be it's like you see how much the universe loves us right how taking care of and so then you go oh you stop that kind of edgy quality just falls away because you're like safe right yeah yeah so and I realized I mean the universe goes through things you couldn't plan that you couldn't think that up yourself you know what I mean to get there yeah I could not have managed this and that was kind of like okay if if this power can do that I'm fine yeah and it can do even bigger things and the thing I love about the table is it's a symbol of like harmony and you know human bonding right and yes yeah relationship yeah I think so it's a multi-leveled symbol right it's beautiful right because I love nothing more than sitting with many many people around a table with food and talk that's my absolute favorite thing yeah I didn't realize yeah you know I read and on my you know journeys that dolphins bond by playing but human beings bond by eating together and if you think about it you know politicians they'll meet and they'll have a banquet together we we eat together yeah so yeah yeah yeah there's um it's good this is I mean this is your education this is how you come out of your head into your heart sweetie this is it it's very good yeah good is there a little bit of a or something right now no absolutely no absolutely not I was just thinking I also wanted to I wanted to do that in an email but I wanted to also thank you for the prayers because I've been I've been feeling that too oh good oh good yeah yeah okay good thank you good yeah I've been getting some lovely feedback about them yeah yeah good yeah okay yeah you know this is a you know Olga she did it with my son with the leukemia it was through five minutes of prayer every day that's what did it healed from leukemia it is it is off the charts what real prayer can do yeah yeah yeah good and day by day it's coming to you guys if you're free anybody you know can put their just go to the website and put your name on if you want some of you have already done that I mean you all the satsang members you get my prayers anyway but with the prayer list it's particularly intense the focus is very intense it's like a real laser beam yeah oh good Saskia I'm glad you're feeling I think this is wonderful about the dining room table you know yeah this is you know what's so great about it is you see this is like learning like a little kid right we we we're so used to going up into our heads and trying to figure it out and do it by step by step but but little kids don't learn like that and and the journey you have to learn like a little kid again it's just you kind of learn through these direct experiences just like what Saskia was talking about yeah and changes you right yes yeah yeah and I felt it I felt it would be okay because it was way too big didn't fit everything spoke against it and Michael kept saying oh how are we going to get it there how we get it there and I kept saying one step after the next I know it's going to work I just know I knew it you know yeah so you followed your intuition you put it in action that's it and it's great to have a naysayer like Michael in that situation because no the universe will no they will give us a naysayer if it isn't Michael it would have been your neighbor or one of your kids it would be somebody who says no it's impossible and you just ignore it and you just keep following your intuition yeah that's it good yeah so was he impressed was he impressed did it work he was happy he was just happy yeah we were both very happy good yeah it feels feels lovely yeah these seemingly small things are what the journey made out of you know yeah yeah it's good thank you Saskia thank you anybody else hi Flora yeah good because I don't think you spoke at the last week I I spoke one of them but yeah I'm going through big shifts so I'd love to talk to you and hello to everybody I get so much out of what everyone says says um since I've been in the hospital friends have come out of the woodwork and I'm surrendering to I can do it myself I I'm letting that go and and accepting the unconditional love and um what you said about embrace yourself as you are um yeah I need more and more help and to be able to ask for that help and let it be okay it's just a huge shift and I'm very grateful oh um as I don't know how to do this but these that someone's help yeah right yeah I can feel that you know not knowing how to go you know how to do it and just finding it step by step it's good that you are receiving the help that's really good Flora yeah and what what is amazing is every time I pick up my phone I get exactly what I need and um the other day that was open to this short video you did on resistance and I just had this wall of resistance come up and I was just fighting everything and um and was able to just watch it and it decided wow wow for Laura Laura taking off her boxing gloves I'm impressed sweetie pie that's awesome that's awesome congratulations that's so good it's it's really good you mentioned that video you know in it I was talking about how resistance isn't our fault it comes from our early upbringing zero to six and beyond that other lives where you know our particular personality didn't even exist yet so the ego you know it's not our fault we're responsible to allow a healing but that feeling of you know being bad or that you're doing something wrong if you're experiencing resistance you know or feeling like you're a bad spiritual student all that is just ego so Laura that's a quantum leap you know because to come out of the religiosity of you know of making resistance bad that is fantastic Laura I'm like sweetie pie you're doing a really really good job okay of a really really tough situation but you know what really helps Prima Surgis when you said it's other lifetimes because sometimes I feel like I'm dragging this whole bag of rocks from other lifetimes and it makes it easier to let things be and move through it yeah you know I remember that feeling yeah I remember feeling in the cells of my body such deep resistance like it was like 10 tons of concrete and I just like where's this come from what is this and the only thing that makes sense to me now is it was just from a whole bunch of lives and where I really turned actually I really know personally the story is I move was moving into truth and I was you know I got punished for it and so you know violently and so for many lifetimes after that for 2000 years I did not turn to God at all and then this life I turned to face it so I had lifetimes over 2000 years of of running from God you know so that's I really know up close and personal about how heavy stuff can be from other lives but it's all healable this is this is it doesn't matter what if you doesn't Laura it doesn't matter how heavy that resistance is once you get that all you have to do is just you know accept that it's there and you know not blame yourself then you give Amma the creator a big door open to solve it for you yeah because you've you've stopped fighting it I'm like this is fantastic Laura yeah thank God thank God I think everybody's yay this is no this is you know this is it it's like change happens it's like we think it's never gonna change and then all of a sudden there's a breakthrough all of you guys that's how it works and even teachers can think students are hopeless cases and then the student makes a breakthrough it's just like teaching kindergarten and some kids suddenly learns how to read and write or something you know you're teaching yeah school yeah it's fantastic Laura sweet one yeah you're brave soul yeah thank you yeah yeah yeah everybody's rooting for you yeah yeah you know one of the things I wanted to emphasize when we were talking about maybe having you know eventually having a retreat I really want to focus on this is like spiritual development so a retreat I mean what worried me I thought oh no everybody's gonna get together and they'll you know their dream of a united family a dream of you know a whole bunch of people getting together and really loving each other and I thought oh no then everybody's egos are gonna come up and everybody would get shocked no I'm just emphasizing this is spiritual training so you know if we get together I mean egos will come up you guys it's like you know we're all part of God you know so don't don't have some kind of you know sugar-coated you know image of what it would be like yeah you know sometimes when you're gonna get married you think oh I'm gonna be so happy with this person and then you know the honeymoon's over and then you're stuck with that so you're learning how to live with this person and it it's the same the same with us getting together you know we're we're all bumbling human beings in various states of enlightenment and you know just keep that in mind and the most important if we do get together is like to witness yourself embrace yourself embrace others knowing we're all works in progress right actually that's key to this sad saying is you guys accepting that your work's in progress yeah your work's in progress you don't have to be perfect you don't even have to know much in fact it's better if you don't think you know much you know the most the best students are the humblest you know yeah humblest but with a deep belief in themselves yeah yeah I'm also getting it's funny it's coming from the angelic realms is the reminding me to remind you that you're good enough you're good enough you're good enough please please yeah please you know the angels so they all think it's hardest to be here on earth and you know they consider that you know the teacher of yogananda I think I've told you this his wife came in one day into his room where he was meditating and he was surrounded by angels who are bowing down to him because he was moving into truth on the earth plane so he was moving into truth at a very rarified level here on the earth plane and the angels were bowing to him and we forget this we forget this we we go like oh I feel full of sewage I'm bad and it's like no if to do it here on the earth plane is just considered the highest accomplishment please remember this indeed was there anything that you wanted to talk about did we talk last week we emailed we emailed yeah yeah it is we talk directly right so right we did not yeah so how are you sweet what I'm doing well learning to set boundaries learning to not look for external validation the subliminal tapes helped tremendously I'm moving out of state and ama is just putting the pieces together I'm in the position that laura's in people are coming out of the woodworks without me even asking to take care of me oh I need help oh cindy I'm so happy about like it's not easy it's not like it's smooth sailing but that's how it is and I'm okay with it oh how cindy are my hat off you guys you're so brave I'm so glad that you're the helps coming out you you dear soul yeah thank you yeah yeah yeah you've got good you good good heart you guys yeah you touch my heart enormously yeah yeah good thank you and thanks everybody I get enormous I learn enormously from everybody who shares and I just want to say thank you to everybody yeah this group you guys you're so willing to bring out your hearts and expose things and in this world it's rare and I'm very struck by the innocence of the group the innocent loving quality of the group and your courage yeah your courage yeah good good you you're taking that in you know when I pray for you guys I can feel some of you well it changes some of you some days really suck up the love and then other days you don't so much it's all good sometimes people start off kind of defenses but then the prayers keep coming and then I can feel that it's the cells of your body are getting worked with to receive unconditional love more it's beautiful yeah yep because I also wanted just to mention about like the you know in darkness you know if ever feel like with demons around you know demons are just subtle forms of ego okay so don't don't get spooked it's just subtle forms of the ego and what they do is they will stir the pot to make you feel uncomfortable and then they feed off your negativity so they stir the pot and then you start thinking negative thoughts and everything and then they that energizes them so that's the importance of listening to subliminals to lift your minds up and or if you start falling into negativity to catch it and you know start your mantra take some action don't let your mind you know well you can't fight your mind I mean there's some times where you know we're just going to go through a rough patch but as much as possible you know witnessing the negative thoughts takes away a lot of the power and um you know getting enough exercise eating enough vitamin b um subliminals and you know reminding yourself that just what Amma says that with this world you know there's more light here than darkness and she says that if you know that the para the creator would never allow darkness to overtake the light that the whole universe would be dissolved in that case that it never would be allowed it's like why would it why would souls allow darkness to run things they wouldn't I mean this is like um it's like a a school yard it's a it's a school we're learning yeah we're learning that love souls are you know finding out about ourselves I mean the whole point is is is you know souls you know but it's by playing in the physical that the souls can see their own beauty it's like when we wake up that we're a soul in human form and we witness our beauty and the beauty of others and the beauty of mother nature it's just like the soul just having this incredible experience of seeing its own beauty you see yeah without the physical experience the soul can't really see its beauty in the same way and it can't it can't have experiences like smelling flowers or eating you know some fantastic meal you know or holding a child or you know all these experiences I mean the the human um the the our human experience gets downgraded the physical gets downgraded but really you know the point of life is to have love here in the outside as well as the inside you know the maya I mean can sing with divinity too it's sort of like you know a happy family it's like you know a happy family is wonderful to be around you know there is this family I think I mentioned it it was two beautiful parents four beautiful little kids these this was at one of mama's retreats the parents were having a very staying deeply in touch with each other as as they were sort of shepherding these four kids through this retreat and having these beautiful conversations I mean being really wrapped with each wrapped by each other listening deeply and at the same time being aware of these little kids and I turned to the guy next to me and I said happiest family in the world and he went you're not kidding even he saw it it was like oh my goodness you know that's a beautiful example of maya what the way it's supposed to be right like you know it's not bad it's it's it's the other side it's the it's you know it's God in human form our physical world is God in human form and God in physical form yeah and and when we live in truth and the physical then it's it's you know it's a celebration it's like we share love we receive love it's it's nice there's just this transition you guys where because we've in an alienated culture and we've been very focused on the outside so it's sort of a bit painful to sort of do a u-turn and start including our inner experience and valid valuing it more and valid validating it more that's our pain really is just how far out of touch we've been with our truth but it should just just stay in the spiritual journey what happens you get more and more in touch with your truth and you get more and more skilled at walking and you get happier and happier you see more and more sunshine comes through in your in your life and the sunny spots get longer they last longer they come more often yeah that's your data that's how you know you're making progress it's like some of you feel that you have to carry this love in a way i'm seeing all this love coming to you and some of you are trying to carry your own hearts can you imagine it's like i'm seeing you like the love's coming in you're trying to carry your own heart like you're you're trying to do it don't do it don't do it just let the love in just let the love in and just like bhavani just learn to embrace yourself even if you feel like your fields got manure on it just embrace yeah it's the mud of the lotus it's not bad the the reason this work is the understanding is as big as it is because my the confusion in the early years was really enormous yeah so the healing of that it's brought a big big understanding it's how it works you guys there's nothing bad nothing in the world is bad nothing inside you is bad you can be alienated from your true you can be feeling lost and alone but it's not bad trula chen how are you doing i'm not sure how am i doing yeah yeah i think you know my week um pretty much um for all the others since um monday i feel quite exhausted and tired unusually exhausted and there's no sickness or something it's i think just that's my interpretation the culmination of my process i'm in that i mean i stepped back and i shared in the satsang i stepped back more and more from sevas and also reduced normal uh work tried to look for myself but i guess it is not enough yet to step back and also the attitude how i do things and yeah this week was from that point very intense to accept that and i stopped any kind of work i really relaxed a lot i slept in the day i slept longer and the fact of that it could be already a first thing of a burnout or could be even a burnout is still hard to accept somehow i'm getting more familiar with that i don't know if it's a burnout maybe it's just something like you know really finally take more care for yourself and when you also told me that maybe it's good to take some time off or go to a any kind of retreat or to a clinic which work okay you know i'll tell you why i i wonder about this is because when i was starting on my deeper journey i got to a place where i had trouble getting out of bed and what was happening was i was so stuck in my mind and trying to do the journey from my mind that basically the universe took me on this journey where i couldn't get out of bed and i had to really you know disconnect from any responsibility and that's my concern about you is because i think you you're still holding on to your head so i don't know if this is sort of your this is the start of a burnout experience for you to be dislodged from this head of yours yeah because you're still trying to kind of manage your journey oversee it kind of try to do it you tell me that oh you pray with more you know uh intensity and that's good but there's this manager part that's overseeing it all and i think the universe might be in the process of dislodging this character from his throne of thinking that he's in control of his journey okay so yeah you see so i really would just love you to just get really real really innocent really humble really like you know what the hell what the hell universe what the hell so just you know to come right out of this managerial trying to but it's you know your your journey's got a life of its own you'll be taken through whatever you need to be taken through but that's why i said yeah well maybe the time out you know maybe this is what you're in where you're just the universe is saying hey man you just have to let go of this attempt to keep intellectual control over this journey because you try to manage it a lot and you speak to me like a manager speaking a manager giving reports on his department but yeah right this is deep ingrained you're very right it is yeah it is it is it's deeply ingrained i mean but to see you know if you just see that the universe may take you on a long slow pull out of it or you can get more a little more hey look i really want to grow this please show me another way universe and so i don't have to do a burnout training or burnout six weeks in a do you see what i mean it's like try and get the maybe get the lesson but you see even that might trigger your managerial managing the journey part so you know yeah so it's just you know you're just yeah but listen man this is good work you're doing it will have a good ending just go through it all of you guys try to manage yourself saskia like i'm happy about the table because if this helps you stop trying to you know be the managerial of your journey that would be so great so it's not trilogy and this is what we're like i mean but that's why i had that really bad nervous breakdown was i was trying to manage my journey and i was clueless like i didn't know i'm or anything so i was way worse than you you know i'm not suggesting that will happen with you but you know it's interesting that you say that because my inner dialogue my mind would say okay you're saying step out of that inner manager right but then my mind it's okay how else to do what should i do then that's exactly what i mean that's my yeah and that's just another form of the manager yeah exactly right so just watch it it's like just see how trapped by the manager you are that would be great it's like the vines yeah just putting arms around herself yeah if you guys if you get this just put your arms around your state i would be so happy i will i would jump as high as the moon in ecstasy your primasutra would be like so happy okay just put the arms around my inner manager i can i can very much try to do that yeah that's not an alternative but it's kind of an alternative to when i noticed that mind bum yeah although there was a bit of a manager and what you said but it's like you know this is it i mean you see it is not solvable by your mind or your head this is what you're going to find you know in quantum mechanics they the people that study quantum mechanics sometimes go down rabbit holes where they get stuck with their their minds get stuck in these unsolvable things and it kind of ruins their lives it's like one of them is you know you if you go half the way to the wall and then half the way to the wall half the way to the wall you never do get to the wall understand that you never get to it so this is what our minds do with the journey we keep trying to like manage it we'll go half the way to the wall half the way to the mall and we it we just it's like it turns into a rabbit hole right the answers the heart yeah now there's something that guys can get stuck with with their training is coming into the heart can have a big verboten sign verboten not allowed yeah so this is where you have to have the courage to lift the verboten side out off and just realize that nothing's going to get solved until you come into your heart and there will be some people around you who get upset by it but there'll be people upset by everything we do so don't worry about it yeah good good good and you know one of the things is we stop taking ourselves so seriously and we stop thinking about ourselves so much that's what happens when you come out of your head you stop thinking about yourself so much and you stop taking yourself so seriously you could go Trilla Chan well it's insolvable maybe I'm going to have a nervous breakdown maybe not it's already happened just I might as well just you know I don't know well do whatever you like to do you know yeah this is you know really the quantum mechanics halfway to the wall half the way to the wall that's where we can get really stuck in our journey where we're trying to fix things and trying to do it with our heads you know what I find personally so challenging I think I shared with you there is parts where you need to involve and need your mind where for example when we discussed about it you know like I'm I got a blood test done or I may look for some clinics obviously there I need some managerial skills yeah okay but listen you're getting so much no no yeah you're getting okay this is what I said you you know yeah this is this is a big misunderstanding to have such rigid lines drawn remember I said that it was like you know doing and being being energy is like the mum who something's planned for the day the kids wake up and they're all cranky so she just makes different plans through the day it's not like she's immobilized or she's not making decisions you see so whether you you know exploring clinics or whatever it's it's action isn't bad it's whether you're doing it with trying to fix or whether you're doing it step by step how does this feel how does this clinic feel to me do I think this is a good idea do I have the feeling underneath that being in a clinic would be a good idea or do I think it'd be the worst thing for me it's like checking with your feeling Trilla Chan getting interested in your feeling about things that's the big gateway and you know maybe you just need to go to Hawaii for three weeks really you know or do something completely different yeah yeah in fact I would you know maybe that's better than going to any kind of clinic I mean just something completely different I remember once I went to Peru for a month I just left my boys and I headed off to Peru and walked around for a month and came back and I was much clearer you know I that that was better for me than going to some you know therapeutic thing yeah yeah you'll figure it out man I'll do yeah you will that's it you know I mean one of the things I think you know is it's the premise that it gets you so when you really get that somebody gets you I mean Amma gets you most but when we get that somebody other than Amma gets us it really helps you guys it can really help you then feel safe enough to come into your hearts to get safe enough to get interested in how you feel about things yeah it can make you give you permission to just be yourself more this is this is you guys you just need permission to be yourself more yeah yeah you know Amma says that she doesn't remonstrate with us or discipline us or you know she doesn't get after us for stuff unless we're really doing something that is hurting our journeys you know she gives us a lot of leeway yeah yeah it's like you can have your feeling for the channel I mean you're a really intuitive guy I mean if you just would realize that your mind is full of nonsense like it just drowns out your feeling you go round and round and these things and it it your ego's happy because it makes you deaf to your feeling about things to your the deeper material that's wanting to surface and help you yeah and the thing is you see the bottom line sweetie is that we we have to get it's like really interested in what our hearts are saying we have to like we get hoodwinked by our mind because we're interested in our mind when you get fed up and bored with your mind you'll stop listening to this stuff you'll just go oh here it goes again you know it's got its little circular merry-go-round going I'm just gonna watch this here it is how many years have I spent listening to this or going around in this merry-go-round just watch it we just end up growing you know you just you just end up growing out of this stuff and remember it's already happened so I mean this is so ridiculous this whole thing is like a it's like a far side comic book you know it's already happened but we're all trying so hard yeah yeah and we're all like goose but we're really precious and we're divine and we we feel like we're very fragile but we never die yeah but you know we're so lucky to be in this era because it's all falling apart so we can we've got the freedom to really wake up and we all know ama you know it's like it's incredible and here's this woman like 40 million people I mean it's just like this has never been on the earth before you know truly I think it's like the last ditch attempt to save the human race from blowing ourselves up really that's that we got a superstar like ama who actually comes in and then hugs 40 million of us you know it's like the creator is so desperate to help us to help humanity sort of yeah thank you premise of that thank you welcome to the chance like yeah bless your heart I just you know I just see myself in all of you guys it's like yeah it's just this is I'm just happy that you guys are listening to yeah really that you come and you listen you know really it's funny this is premise it is the happiest I've ever been in my life because I get to share and you guys listen is what a riot they're like doesn't take that much yeah yeah it's very rewarding yeah bless your hearts yeah you know I was worried I used to think you know I used to worry that nobody would take this knowledge seriously because it was so kind of light-hearted and friendly and but it just like neighborly like the person down the block and human but this is why it works you guys this is the big secret because I'll tell you this work it changes people people change you guys are all changing and that's the power of it and you're so worth it yeah yeah and in this era you know the standing for the heart when the heart is so neglected and there's this you know the energy that's opposite to the heart that it isn't really opposite to the heart it's just part of a big clearing so it looks like anti-human and anti-heart but it's it's actually a big clearing that's occurring but to you know pay attention to the flickers of the heart and to listen to the feeling and to trust something other than your minds or you know the senses it is a big achievement you guys it's a big achievement and I'll tell you it's going to get really rewarded really the amount of brownie points you guys are getting truly is off the charts yeah and it's a time where huge amounts of garbage and misunderstanding can be dumped like I'll tell you premisuda came in with a great deal of garbage really and it all got dumped thanks to Alma really yeah it can all be dumped you just have to see that it can be dumped you just have to see that actually you're the problem the part in you that that thinks that you do stuff that you that you are the doer of your life that you're the manager that you're the one you're the vip the very important person in your life you just have to see that that's just illusion that's just ego and it's like your soul your soul's running things and your soul will just bring you to understandings yeah and if you do stuff like if you find yourself distracting yourself if just if you just go like start I will twill thy will or you go like imagine hugging yourself or tell Alma to please help you that's all you need to do yeah one of the things you know studying with Abraham with the Hawaiians and the aboriginal they have a love of humanity that's very simple like a love of nature and a love of humanity and it was you know you really don't think you find a lot of aboriginal people trying to fix their humanity you know after you know after their countries are invaded you know by white people and they've been taught their way is wrong that's they might fall into the traps of what but but on their own I don't think they go around like trying to fix themselves or feeling that they're separate from the sun and the moon and mother nature and it's for us to go back to that you know you are the sun and the moon you are the stars you know your fingerprints look like mountain ranges there's the same proportion of salt in your blood as there is in the sea in the oceans our bones turn into stone finally they fossilize turns into stone yeah we're part of the earth you guys we're not separate we're not separate from the earth we're not separate from god we're divine beings playing having fun huh yeah yeah and you know ama says that it's very brave to come to earth it's very respected the souls that come to earth it's highly respected well we know why yeah I remember you know like so for primasutra you know I mean there I was at 63 or something and I was having this really you know hip replacements and I wasn't seeing any enlightenment and and I was still having trouble supporting myself financially and and I kind of went oh well I just went oh well and you know things started changing and like I said I had a lot of homework so it took me a long time but I used to tell myself you know even back in my 40s I would say things like this to myself I'd go well the last fruit on the tree is the sweetest the last apple on the apple tree really is the sweetest and I would tell myself that I went okay so it's taking me a long time but boy when this one reaches the wisdom it's really going to be something and it's really going to help people I would just sonic drill myself with that kind of stuff really with nobody else nobody like knowing what I was doing nobody clapping you know no no husband no money no thing I just was invincible with this sort of self-talk you know okay it's kind of like it's just like you know weedy it sounds so weedy but it works it's sort of like I say it's like the fool in the fairy tale who just goes off you know and and doesn't know that what he's trying to achieve is impossible so he doesn't know that it's impossible so he does it that's it yeah remember this time it's like really the universe will lift things off you so listen to subliminals to keep your mind up okay because this will directly most of our problems are in our subconscious most of the blocks so when you listen to subliminals it starts working with the blocks directly changes your subconscious that's where you need most of the help so really please love yourselves enough to really keep it going and I would just keep doing it really do it for six months it's like a booster rocket it's like a extra generator to help you especially if you're sensitive and imaginative yeah so please I've you know I've worked with a lot of people for a lot of years so I know that some people will jump at these things and do them and other people will say they do them but they don't do them very often you know they might tell me straight oh yeah I do I do I'm doing it but if they really look at how often they play them it won't be very much so just notice how much you actually listen to them yeah the ego is so tricky you guys it's like the worst trickster yeah but don't worry about it too much okay so I guess this is it I'm I just feel very pleased with all of you I do I'm feeling really pleased with your progress so like something's going well and Trilla Jan you're way more open yeah and really for a guy to do this it's it's hard enough for us women really my hat off okay yeah all my love you guys blessings