Our Deep Internal Decisions Matter More Than We Know

Is your will really set toward knowing the Creator - knowing what unconditional love is?

Sometimes we just want to be happier following the voice of our ego or in our pursuit of things.

But what brings happiness is learning to be true to our inner Nature, our true Self, the Amma inside us.

Let’s allow ourselves to love more deeply—both ourselves and others!

It just takes courage and devotion and time.

But anything really important does.

Premasudha really spells out what the spiritual journey involves and gives us an experience of unconditional love, to accelerate us on our journeys.

She so clearly speaks about what is so often very confusing for us.
Just listening helps our evolution.

Transcript

Okay,

And I've been just asking for grace,

Yeah,

For us to receive grace.

You know,

Premasuddha's prayers are really intense this morning for all of us to receive love,

To open to love and receive love.

Because that's all that's wrong,

If anything can be wrong,

Is our trouble receiving love.

It's absolutely heartbreaking to Premasuddha,

Absolutely.

There's a level that this journey is the,

This,

You know,

Really moving into truth is the bravest thing a human being can do.

And you know,

When we're,

You know,

Learning,

We get our backs up against wall,

We have difficult moments,

But there's a tremendous sorrow that happens for teachers sometimes too with just the extent of the resistance and how hard it is for seekers to trust and any teacher remembers themselves.

So there's no criticism.

I get it.

I really get it.

So I just want to start,

There was a lovely individual and she was sick and we talked on the phone,

It was a session on the phone,

And after the session her temperature had dropped by a degree,

Right?

There was another gentleman who talked about how his tummy problems were better and he was feeling lighter,

Okay.

And both individuals have got it in their body,

But they don't know how to get their head around what Premasuddha is talking about,

But their bodies got it,

Okay.

So this happens,

You know,

When Amma hugs us,

We make a shift,

We feel more love.

Our bodies make the shift and what happens is our minds follow.

If your body got it,

You've got it.

But the key is to really open up and get motivated to get what Premasuddha is talking about,

Okay.

This is where I'm like feeling like a dragon.

Your body's got it,

Premasuddha goes like,

That's the hard thing,

That's the challenge.

It's sort of like,

What's the problem?

Your body's got it.

It's for you actually to become humble in the open to learn humility.

I have great empathy about the whole thing about humility.

You know,

When I started working with Amma,

I mean,

I knew she was God and everything,

But Premasuddha had no idea how much she had to learn.

Yeah.

I mean,

I used to walk around feeling like almost fully cooked.

Premasuddha was very far from being fully cooked.

And Amma was very patient with this one,

But she was also very hard with me when she wanted me to get something.

She talks about being hard as a diamond or soft as a blossom.

And faced with,

You know,

In case if Premasuddha was asking Amma to go along with Premasuddha's ego,

Amma would get hard as a diamond with me.

Okay,

So some of you guys are beginning to get the diamond from me because Premasuddha has been really,

Really patient,

Really,

Really patient.

And you know,

We're at a kind of a perfect storm with economic trouble.

We've got Mother Nature beginning to fuss.

It's like,

Why?

What is the problem?

Why not get really motivated to get what Premasuddha is talking about,

But it's not helpful maybe to think,

Oh,

I want to get what Premasuddha is talking about.

I mean,

Just getting more devoted to the Creator,

To Amma,

To moving into truth,

Just realizing that there's nothing else that will give you safety.

There's no safety in anything else.

But to the ego,

It feels unsafe to move into truth.

You know,

Premasuddha is an unusual teacher because she will actually get down with you in your mud and point out your mud.

But then there's a point that Premasuddha starts feeling that she's getting covered with mud,

And then I step back from people.

But the reason I get right in close,

In with the mud,

Is because my experience is people need to have the experience of this kind of level of love and devotion.

Like,

You know,

Amma gives it through her hugs in a million different ways.

This is just what Premasuddha does,

Because Premasuddha got lost in the mud a lot.

I understand what it's like being stuck in your ego,

But,

You know,

I question somehow like actually how motivated some of you are to come out of your ego.

Some of you just really want Premasuddha's attention,

And I say this very,

Very gently with a lot of love.

And you probably don't even realize that you're doing this.

I come back to,

You know,

In the Zen,

They used the wooden sticks because the Zen teaching was so soft.

It's like the pathless path.

I mean,

The only way,

It's like the pathless path.

The path is not marked.

So students kind of run amok.

So it's almost like the teacher has to have like a little bit of a stick to like,

Go this way,

Go this way,

Go this way,

Go this way.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's not personal,

You guys.

It's just really this devotion to help you out of confusion and out of ego land.

Because it is so horrible,

Okay,

It is so horrible to be stuck in ego land without some kind of experience of the divine,

Without a connection to the divine.

It's horrible.

Premasuddha is trying to like push you towards an experience of the divine,

A bigger experience of unconditional love,

Of Amma's grace,

So that you can evolve.

The other thing I want to say to you is the way I am with you is exactly how I was with myself.

You know,

I remember a channel saying to me that my soul pushed me hard.

Now,

My soul did.

It was once I signed up for this journey,

It was zero to a hundred.

And it's because there was so much garbage for Premasuddha to do,

Actually to clear.

So it was like constant.

So I am this way with you guys.

Now,

If you're coming around,

I will give you exactly what comes to me to help you accelerate.

And it's understandable that some of you really greet me with your heads.

And so the heart of it gets lost,

The penny doesn't drop.

And some of you have,

You know,

Had very little spiritual experience,

But you're really motivated and some of you are getting it really quickly.

Even though you wouldn't even put it in spiritual terms,

Really,

But actually you're accelerating.

I don't want to make anybody wrong.

It just seems to me bizarre that it's a situation where people's bodies are getting it,

But they're in no rush to change their head's point of view.

If your body gets it,

You experience like a miracle,

Like a little bit,

A small miracle.

Or not even a miracle.

It's like empirical evidence that you're on the right track,

The drop in the fever.

Or in the case of stomach difficulties,

Lifting,

And you feel lighter,

Like that should be the most important thing.

The same with the drop in the temperature,

That should be the most important thing.

This is empirical evidence.

Really important to look for empirical evidence on the journey.

Because some of you,

Like you're in this train and you're like wanting to just keep on the same track.

And I'm going like,

What the hell?

I know it's an uncomfortable session,

But just,

If you kind of,

If you decide like that you're going to be more in truth at the end of this than before,

Then that will happen.

You see,

This is what Prema Sutta is wishing to mobilize within you,

To free in you that will,

That will of that little child who knew the truth of things,

Who knew that everything was magic,

Really,

And that we're gods in human form,

And what we decide has a great deal of power.

Yeah,

So if you decide that you are a worthy candidate for self-realization,

Your life is going to go one way.

And if you go,

Oh,

I'm just not much,

Who the hell do I think I am,

Your life is going to go another way.

This is what I really want to bring home to you,

Is actually the lack of self-esteem of people growing up in alienated technological cultures.

This is actually what we're faced with and what,

You know,

Needs to be overcome to make spiritual progress.

You know,

When I'm doing the prayers,

You know,

Every so often I go,

Please,

Amma,

Please free the love in me,

Please make these prayers even stronger,

Please make the power of the prayer really,

So it really,

Really helps.

Yeah,

More and more.

I don't just sit there and go like,

You know,

Our Father who arts in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name,

Or read all the names,

Or say all the names,

Like,

Ah,

Da-da,

Da-da,

Da-da.

It's like with real heart,

With real intent.

This is what,

You know,

Doesn't always come back to premasuda,

And not that it should come back to premasuda,

It's actually more important that it goes back to you,

That that greater willingness,

Greater intent goes back to you,

So you can become freer,

Right?

You know,

The real spiritual journey is a little bit like walking in the jungle.

It's like you need real awareness and observation,

Self-observation,

Noticing,

Because the universe is always talking to us.

I was talking yesterday about our trouble with the plastics is because we're living in a plastic way,

So we're getting filled up with plastic,

And as we,

You know,

If we surrender and start really awakening,

The problem with plastics will alter just because of our deep decision.

You guys,

Okay,

Here's the key to this satsang.

It's about deep decision,

Deep decision to evolve,

To move into truth,

Right?

You know,

In the ancient Hawaiian culture,

The kahunas would work on somebody for 15 days.

They would take turns,

And they would use just the sweat,

Like as they moved in this dance around the body that was associated with this massage.

You massage,

But you also do this dance,

And what would happen is the kahuna would move into a higher level of truth,

Just like a runner.

You know,

The marathon runners,

They start bumping up into kind of their true personality with the stretch,

With the hours and hours of effort.

There's this,

I mean,

I think this is what fuels a lot of Olympic athletes,

That they tap into God,

And that's what gives them the oomph to keep making that enormous effort.

So when a human being moves physically for a long time,

You can tap into God.

It is one way.

So,

They did this dance around the person who was lying on a stone bed,

And they didn't have any oil.

They would use the sweat coming from the kahuna,

Or shaman,

As the oil,

And this would go on for 15 days and 15 nights.

And the purpose of this was to break the defenses,

To really just exhaust them,

Which is what life can do for us.

We keep banging into these troubles,

And if we have a point of view steering towards God,

What happens is our defenses get exhausted,

And they start dissolving.

If we're steering towards the usual ego things,

The defenses will just get stronger.

Till the body dies.

It's almost like this is a really deep session around your will,

And to free your will to serve the Creator,

To serve Amma,

Rather than trying to protect the ego,

Which is why Pramasut is going a bit dragon.

Now this change occurs in silence,

You guys.

It is beyond your will.

Your will,

Your ego will,

Has no control over this.

This is a much deeper will that can be activated by a satsang,

Especially a satsang like this.

Anyway,

Back to the kahunas.

When somebody wanted this treatment,

They would say,

Are you prepared to die?

Because I guess some people did die on the table.

But mostly it was,

Were they willing to let the ego die?

So if they go up there going,

Okay,

I want this truth,

And maybe I'll just die on the table,

But they kept going,

That person would find freedom.

That person would move through all their defenses.

You know,

Some of you,

This is way farther along than you are on the journey,

But just the energy of this will help you.

Yeah,

There are a few of you who haven't been long on the journey,

And you can't even be described as spiritual seekers,

But you're getting it.

You're getting it emotionally.

And that's how Prama Siddha got the journey.

I got it emotionally.

My son healed.

So it was like,

I want to serve love.

I want to find out about love.

What is this?

How come,

How can this miracle have occurred?

What is really going on here?

Very beautiful,

You guys.

Your God-selves are very,

Very beautiful.

You could not be more perfect.

You know,

Whatever we're running from,

The time will come where we have to face it.

I want you to really understand this.

Whatever you're running from,

It's not like you can run from it.

It's actually you that you're running from.

You're running from your own soul.

You're running from the Amo that's within you.

And you can never escape this.

You can try every exit,

Though.

You can try every detour,

Every exit,

Every avoidance.

And if it doesn't come to you before,

It will come to you in old age and your deathbed.

Yeah,

I mean,

This is the bottom line,

You guys.

So you know,

You can dispassionately remind yourself of this.

You can even imagine being on your deathbed.

I know this is really hard for egos and our conditioning and,

You know,

If we're working full-time and everything,

But,

You know,

It can be done.

A soul can do anything.

Yeah,

There's a bit of shame.

You know,

It's partly like the shame,

The conditioning where we learn to be ashamed.

We learn to be ashamed of our true self.

But then sometimes when this is clearing,

We actually feel ashamed of our behaviors and how we're navigating.

It's all good.

You know,

Premasutra just follows,

You know,

I just follow the guidance.

So today is Dragon Day.

There is a story of,

This is an Eastern story of a man who lost his wife.

She died.

He loved her very,

Very much.

He spent decades mourning her and finally got hold of,

You know,

An Eastern seer,

A guy in the Himalayas,

Went there and asked for help.

So what happened was his wife manifested in the,

Like in a physical form,

And he sat with her and talked for an hour.

And at the end of this hour,

The wife,

The woman dissolved.

And the man was totally content about it because he realized that his wife was just like a unit of the creator's energy.

She was just the creator hiding in the personality and the form of the wife.

When he got that,

He was peaceful.

And I think what happened was he realized that she was just part of the creator in human form,

And she wasn't really real.

He had a soul retrieval,

And he took back that part of himself that he had projected and called his wife.

And that's why his pain went away.

So,

You see,

We're capable of doing these little soul retrievals.

Well,

That was a big soul retrieval,

But you're capable,

We're capable of doing smaller soul retrievals every day.

As our understanding increases,

We become more non-attached.

And we can have a shift in perception and be freer.

Now,

These shifts in perception occur when we really want to know the creator,

You guys.

The more we want to know what love is,

What God is,

Who Amma really is,

To feel Amma within us,

The more that we will experience these soul retrievals,

And the more the experience of satsang even will be stronger and smooth our journeys.

It all comes down to you,

But it's like Muktananda said,

The answer is you.

I always want to say Archbishop Gabriel,

Archangel Gabriel said,

Tell them the answers inside them.

You see,

You guys,

You really just have to get over this kind of alienated dissing of yourselves,

This judgment of yourselves,

Feeling not good enough.

It's like,

Get over that.

Allow that to heal.

And,

You know,

As you do,

You will get the data to take certain steps.

You will walk with more self-esteem.

It will change how you interface with the world,

And it will be scary at first.

Change is always a bit scary,

You know.

But,

You know,

You'll know if you're getting more freedom.

There's still kind of a wistful feeling among you of,

Oh,

I wish I could be more in truth,

And a feeling of,

You know,

Being flawed.

And you're not.

You're not.

You know,

My feeling is there's going to be a really big bump up with Pramasutra's trip to Germany,

And I think this is part of this.

I think there's going to be a big expansion.

And so before big expansions,

This kind of thing happens.

And even if you're not in Germany,

You know,

And you're not going to see me,

Just go like,

Okay,

I'll go on that expansion too.

I want to catch that wave,

Because you can catch that wave wherever you are.

Right.

Right.

Yeah,

You guys do so much love,

You know.

It's all love.

And,

You know,

The thing that's ridiculous is it's already happened anyway.

So,

I mean,

It's kind of like,

So here we are,

And it's already happened anyway,

You know,

So we're just doing it.

We're flowing with it.

So you all feel a bit dampened down,

And I don't want to do that,

But I kind of,

You know,

This is a point I really want you guys to get.

If your bodies get it,

If you have an experience,

Like if your temperature falling or an illness disappearing and you're feeling lighter,

That is empirical evidence.

That is the most important thing.

That is inarguable data.

It doesn't matter what your head says about it.

You know,

It's like with my son's healing of leukemia,

I went,

Okay,

This is proof.

But a lot of people around me just said when he got better,

Well,

Then he didn't have leukemia anyway,

And it's like,

Okay.

Do you know there are all kinds of tricks we can play with our heads to explain stuff away.

But the reason you're all listening to Premasuddha is because Premasuddha took that as data and went,

Well,

I want to find out about this.

If these kind of miracles are possible,

Then there must be something wrong with the way the Western world is seeing things.

And then I started studying with Abraham and with Alma,

And the whole way the Hawaiians see things or the way the Eastern sages see things is so different from our idea of normality.

And so,

You guys,

Different things happen to them.

I really want to shake you.

Different things will happen for you as you loosen up your mind and come along more with what Premasuddha is speaking of.

You know,

The feminine will always give you kind of a physical experience,

And then she will support your mind.

So,

Alma gives a hug and does just incredible,

All the things she does to support our shift individually and working with the collective.

This is the reason why the feminine face of the Creator is so powerful in such a beautiful way,

And it's exactly why it can be underestimated and ignored.

Okay?

Just like Alma gets underestimated.

I remember a guy saying to me,

Yeah,

Alma was a nice woman.

I'm like,

Oh,

Okay.

Whereas you can have,

You know,

A guy speaking in a whole auditorium.

Everybody buying tickets,

Great praise,

But maybe not too many shifts during the talk,

Because what is to challenge their intellects?

Nothing.

All the content can just be received by the intellect,

And it goes nowhere.

Now,

Both male and female can work with this female face of God way to enhance the chances of somebody getting it.

I don't know if you understand what I'm talking about.

You can have spiritual teachers who just stand there and speak,

And they maybe work energetically.

But Alma gives hugs,

And these direct physical experiences of your shifts,

Like feeling lighter,

Your heart opening,

Your temperature,

Your fever falling,

Your tummy pain going down,

And this is data.

It can be swept aside,

And it's a form of stupidity to do it,

You guys.

Yeah,

It just means that you're caught in your ego,

That you're unwilling.

You know,

If you're meditating and your heart opens,

I want you to understand that you will have an experience of a heart expanding experience somewhere.

I don't know,

With your mate,

With a clerk at a store,

Somewhere.

You will have a physical experience of expansion.

That's how it works.

So,

Your body,

You know,

Being present in your body is really,

Really important,

Because without that,

You will keep dumping out the gold.

Okay,

This is the heart of what I'm saying.

This is the key to you guys.

This is exactly where your cusp is,

Your cuspy on the cusp of getting this more.

What I'm saying,

Like you're sort of standing on that wall of alienation I've talked about,

And you're kind of just about to like fall into this knowledge,

To jump into this knowledge.

Being present with your body and noticing what is going on with you,

Your thoughts,

What is going on with your physical self,

That is key to the journey.

Without that,

You can't witness either.

You know,

There's talk about that you have to be able to witness yourself and what's happening to you.

And to do that,

You have to be present.

So,

You guys,

You might have to work at it.

You might have to put your will to,

I'm moving,

I'm going to become more present in my body.

You look like some kids,

You know,

In the class and they're going,

When is the bell going to ring?

Lunch.

It's very dear.

Does anybody have any comments or questions or,

You know,

You're very dear.

I don't want to harangue you,

But this is high-level training,

You guys.

It's not comfortable work,

You know.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Gordon,

Sweet one.

It's so nice to see your face again.

Yes,

I'm very happy to finally be back and to see your face.

And you really spoke to my heart.

It is so wonderful to,

I've had a,

Well,

Exactly what you described is what I was going through the last weeks.

This feeling of not deserving love,

Something happened there.

And I was completely overwhelmed by a situation with my mother and friends.

And so now everybody's gone and I'm happy to be able to,

First of all,

Connect with myself again.

And now connect with the heart and feel the opening of the heart.

And I can really feel that there was this perception of not deserving love.

Right.

And it's a big step,

A mother and a friend,

You know.

And that's a,

You know,

Parents.

But,

You know,

When the step,

When the time comes to make the step into freedom,

It will be done seamlessly and just be a joy.

Blessing.

Thank you.

Oh,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you all for turning up,

You guys.

Like,

Truly.

Not for the faint of heart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

I remember with Abraham,

When I was in ego,

He would forget my name.

It was like clockwork.

He'd go like,

Who are you?

And I'd go like,

Oh yeah,

I know why he's doing that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

So you see,

This is like I could have gotten upset about him,

Like forgetting my name,

Or I could get like,

Okay,

I'm,

I'm caught my ego.

That's why this is happening.

Right,

Two different ways.

The point of power is within you.

Okay,

Good.

There's a lot of love here.

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

That's good.

Actually,

You know,

Gordon,

Part of it was you speaking so transparently.

That is this love,

You guys are all letting some more love in now.

Like you are actually letting in the love that this is what Premasudha wished to happen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sometimes I think Premasudha talks too much because as soon as I said that,

Then,

Then it stopped a little bit but I'm just going to draw the attention to that.

Some of you are probably going I can't feel it.

Doesn't matter.

Premasudha feels it.

That's it.

And if Premasudha feels it is happening.

Yeah.

And some of you should ask why you're arguing with the idea.

Really,

Why would you argue with this.

Look at what you're doing with this.

No,

Really.

You know,

All the universe wants to do is to free us it's like,

All Amma wants to do is to free us.

It's so strong.

You know,

One of those phrases I love is this above all to thine own self be true.

You guys.

That's it.

You know,

Basically,

This above all to thine own self be true and love thy neighbor as thyself.

Right.

Good.

Good.

You know,

When I,

I went to,

To naturopath.

When I was in India.

Once,

And it was around that.

You know the foot fungus I was talking about and.

So he gave me all kinds of appointments and everything.

And then he was working with another doctor.

So I went in the same office like in the same kind of room so I also he also recommended this doctor so I went.

And that doctor prescribed.

Anointment.

That really worked in three days.

This foot fungus had disappeared.

So I mentioned it to the,

To the other guy who prescribed all these other things.

But did not include this foot fungus.

And he said,

Oh yeah that worked for me too.

That's the one that really worked for me too and I'm like,

Well,

Why didn't he tell me this.

What are we doing.

And I was thinking how sometimes the innocence of just,

You know,

The truth of things like,

Well,

This will really work,

And it will work way better than these things is like how,

How,

How has this gotten lost.

What are we doing,

You know,

And,

And had a really lovely friend who went into physio.

And she said to me once that actually a lot of the techniques for physio they don't work.

What are we doing.

What the hell.

You know,

And if the desire to really help somebody else gets lost in a profession,

Then we're really,

You know,

In the practices of the,

Of the profession then we're,

We're really,

We're really getting lost.

And that's where we are you guys.

And our,

Our egos have learned that the soul is not safe,

And it's not allowed.

You have to have the strength to even if you feel that something's not allowed or sometimes I would even hear the words of this is not allowed.

I would just go like yes it is to love more deeply is always allowed.

It is the safest thing to do to allow yourself to love more deeply yourself and others.

That's it.

That's it.

It's like the peaceful warriors you guys the warriors of love.

Right.

Right,

It's like stepping out and being kind,

Stepping out from the normal thing and offering some compassion.

People in my,

You know,

As I go through the world,

You know,

People sometimes like kind of,

I end up stopping and listening to somebody tell me their problems and it's kind of like,

I listen with a totally open heart and it's like offer whatever words I've got,

You know,

That come up.

And Pramasutra is so happy that to be able to give it.

If this takes you into a deeper willingness,

That is the whole point of the satsang.

If it takes you into becoming more present,

Realizing that there's no other way than becoming more present with yourself,

How you feel,

Your thoughts,

Your physical body,

And that you're not something to fix or manipulate.

Then this satsang is a triumph and Pramasutra is happy.

And Pramasutra looks at everything as it's all Pramasutra.

So even though I'm shining a light,

Maybe giving you guys a shake,

It's actually I'm giving Pramasutra a shake.

Do you see?

There's no separation.

None.

You guys are just reflecting back to me about myself,

Really.

Level 5 million and 56.

I don't know.

That's it.

But please,

You know,

Like come forward.

Out of this,

It's like I remember a doctor friend of mine told me when we were 25,

She said,

You know,

At 25,

You ossify.

Whatever that means.

I think it's you stop growing,

You kind of fossilize,

Really.

It's like any rigidity,

Any non growth,

Any kind of stagnancy,

You can walk out of.

You just realize it's not working.

You give it over.

If you're stuck in stagnancy,

What will happen is you'll get an experience of feeling stagnant.

And then if you don't move,

It will get more intense and you'll get more and more uncomfortable.

More and more data shows you that this is not helpful.

And you will get it in every direction.

And this,

Of course,

Is to promote surrender.

Finally,

We go,

Well,

This isn't very pleasant.

Please help me,

God.

Please help me.

Like a little kid holding on to like a,

Please,

Will somebody help?

That's what it feels like.

I get it.

I get it.

Been there.

Many times.

Yeah.

But there really is a point,

You guys,

Where you cross over out of the ego into your soul energy.

You just start realizing that this whole thing is a lila.

It's a dream.

And you live in this.

You live knowing it's all a dream.

So everything's light.

It's all light.

It's like,

Well,

Nothing's too serious.

You know?

And that's it.

I mean,

That's basically self-realization.

But still there's work being done.

If somebody's,

You know,

Moved into self-realization,

They are still doing their work.

Which will be working with the collective more,

However they do it.

I told you that Amma had two weeks when she became self-realized.

She had two weeks of utter,

Utter peace and joy.

And she was just reveling in it.

Because if you read about her childhood,

She deserved this.

To just enjoy this peace.

And then she got the guidance of,

Like,

Come on,

Get to work.

And then she said,

You know,

Then it was like an ashram started building up around her.

And she went,

No,

I don't want to do this.

I don't want to be like a canary stuck in a cage,

You know.

I'm not going to do this.

And within a couple of days,

She had stopped saying that and allowed the ashram to build around her.

You know,

Following the guidance,

I guess.

Yep,

You have to be this canary for a while to help humanity.

Right.

Please get how precious you are.

Like,

How valuable you are.

Please try to remember,

You know,

Amma,

The creator,

Several times during the day.

You know,

Prima Sutta used to,

I realized what I did was,

I was always steering towards silence.

So I was always steering towards embodying my divinity all the time with everything I did and said.

And when I had a lot of ego,

I got lost a lot.

I got confused.

I felt heavy.

I'm going like,

I know there's God,

But I can't feel her,

Him.

Where are you?

And just gradually,

As years went by,

I felt it more and more.

Yesterday,

Franco talked about when she looked at her wall,

She saw more light there.

It's like that,

You guys.

You will see more light.

That's your proof.

You see,

It's your physical experience.

You see more light.

That is proof of progress.

And,

You know,

Feeling like you're like 500 pounds,

Walking's hard,

And you feel squished under despondence.

This is progress,

Too,

Because this is coming up to be lifted.

So think like that.

Just do your best,

You guys.

You know,

It's funny because just as we're talking,

I can feel you guys moving into doing mode,

But it's not solvable there.

It's not solvable.

Come back to your body.

Come back to being.

Come back to being.

Feel your heart area.

Yeah.

Okay.

There are two different ways of motherhood.

There's motherhood where the person's just being,

And it's like,

Yeah,

Time to feed the kids.

Time to make breakfast.

Make breakfast.

Sing a song.

Joke with the kids.

Okay,

And then move into,

Okay,

Let's go outside.

Sunny day,

Let's go outside and play.

And you just flow.

And then there's the raising kids where it's like,

Okay,

Out of bed,

I've got a list.

I've got a list of everything that has to be done.

Okay,

Chop,

Chop,

Chop,

Chop.

So breakfast is made,

But there's no joy in it.

And probably the kids get upset and squabble because mom's not present.

And then that takes more time,

And then she's late.

It's just like that,

You guys.

You're a divine being in human form.

In the morning,

You decide what you're going to do that day.

You get up,

Go to work.

You're still a divine being in human form.

You're at work.

You're still a divine being in human form.

Stay there.

Stay yourself.

Be yourself.

Don't try to do anything.

Just be yourself.

What can you do anyway?

Can you be anything other than yourself?

No.

You can be yourself wearing a phony hat,

Or you can just take the hat off and just be yourself.

And the joke is that everybody will see the phony hat.

You see,

You don't fool anybody.

They'll all know exactly what you're doing.

So why do we even try?

Why don't we just be ourselves,

You know?

And listen to our hearts for guidance.

Listening.

Do you want me to spend more time at work or with people or at the ashram?

Or do you want me to spend less time with people,

Work,

The ashram?

Follow.

Follow the guidance,

You guys.

So,

You know,

If Prama Sutta is stalking you a little bit,

If I'm kind of a little bit in dragon mode,

Remember,

It's not going to stop until you make the shift,

Okay?

It's just like,

You know.

I just want to,

Like,

This is what you're going to get until you shift.

And it's impossible for Prama Sutta to be with you any other way if it is like that with us.

Because there's a much higher intelligence guiding both of us,

Prama Sutta and you guys.

Well,

You know,

Personally,

I like it better when it's just warm and fuzzy and I'm not dragon and,

You know.

But this is what we got today.

So has anybody got before we,

You know,

There's still time for a few comments or questions?

But maybe you've had enough.

Yeah.

You know,

In marriages,

There's sometimes you go through rough patches and it's like,

But the couple,

They look at each other and they'll go,

Oh,

It'll get better.

It'll get better.

It's the same with us.

Really.

Same with teachers and students.

It'll get better.

Tell you,

When I was being corrected by Amma,

I sure didn't like it.

And it spurred me on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And as she says,

A teacher cannot be your friend if the teacher is taking away your ego.

Or pointing it out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

And also remember,

There'll be a shift into truth,

Then the ego will fuss.

Just pray harder during the ego fuss.

Just pray harder.

And be patient.

You're very,

Very dear.

Thank you for coming.

I wish I could take your pain away.

Really.

I wish,

Really.

It's so strong.

I wish I could.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I do this instead.

Okay.

Bless your hearts,

You guys.

Thank you for coming.

Yeah.

Thank you.