Learning To Walk In A New Way

Basically this satsang is about how to access deeper unconscious levels where our blocks lie and allow this wounding to heal.

The truth is unless we realize our job is to learn to love ourselves and all of life, we are going to hurt ourselves, others and even Amma, as a dear One's dream pointed up.

Indeed to paraphrase Christ's words, 'What ye do to the worst of you, ye do to me.'

Premasudha feels grateful to all of you who attend satsangs and listen to these tracks. May they help strengthen you and validate you so you feel more and more that you too are part of All That Is. And infinitely precious, priceless, worthy, and just invaluable

Transcript

So we're calling on Grace,

Amma's Grace,

The Creator's Grace,

To remind us that we're living in grace and all we have to do is just open our hearts and our minds and learn to be gentler with ourselves.

Please,

The self-judgment is the thing that stops the grace the most.

And then in our self-judgment,

We will criticize others and it just turns into a big soup,

A messy soup.

So please,

Just come back to that you are the divine in human form and your lifeblood is grace,

You deserve grace,

You are grace,

And everybody else is grace,

And we live in grace.

May we open to this and rest in it and trust it.

And so it is.

Okay,

Well,

I wish to start with what I started with yesterday because I'm really wanting the penny to drop for you about what kind of minds you're walking around with,

Like what your baseline is.

And then,

You know,

From this baseline,

We work with ourselves,

We transform,

But this is the baseline of the Western world.

Okay,

So again,

I'm going to read the Rwandan perspective.

After the genocide,

And the Westerners came to help,

Were so good at helping.

And this was their response.

They came and their practice did not involve being outside in the sun,

Where you could begin to feel better.

There was no music or drumming to get your blood flowing again.

There was no sense that everybody had taken the day off,

So that the whole community could come together to try to lift you up and bring you back to peace.

There was no acknowledgement of the depression as something invasive and external that could actually be cast out again.

Instead,

They would take people one by one at a time into these dingy little rooms and have them sit around for an hour or so and talk about bad things that had happened to them.

We had to ask them to leave.

Okay.

So in the West,

We're trying to fix ourselves with,

You know,

Therapeutic structures that are actually making the ruts deeper of the pathology.

It's not healing.

The thing that heals us,

You guys,

Is the heart.

Your heart,

The divine coming through your heart is what heals you.

It's not another person.

Another person can show you a picture of what's coming through your heart,

But it's what's coming through your heart,

Because you're a divine being.

Now,

Most of us are terrified of our hearts,

Or we trash them.

Or both.

Yeah,

It's,

You know,

You have to receive,

You have to get the enormity of what we're facing before you can heal deeply.

This is the thing.

If you don't get what I'm talking about,

You will never give permission to your heart to really speak to you.

It's like you don't have to get it through Pramasutra's words,

But you could get it,

You know,

In lots of different ways,

But you will have to get it.

Some of us get it through realizing that Amma loves us.

So we open our hearts to our own divinity.

Yeah.

You know what they're saying about,

You know,

The sun?

I mean,

Amma even says that we're too phobic about the sunshine,

And we need it.

She says,

If you go out before 10 o'clock,

And after 4,

There's gold in the sunlight.

She has said this,

There's gold.

And she's speaking in India,

Where it's really,

You know,

Tropical.

So you do have to be careful of the sun,

But you know,

In the West,

We're not getting such heavy sun.

And my experience,

You need sunshine to have any yang energy at all.

And lots of times,

You know,

We need the strength of that yang to,

When we're doing our inner work,

When we're really heavy and kind of yang energy.

You know,

There's so,

I'm just spelling it out,

There's no criticism.

I mean,

This has taken Pramasutra like 40 years to get her arms around the understanding.

And so I'm just trying to transmit however much of it you can get,

You see?

Yeah.

Or however much you want of it.

The key is,

And I'm feeling it right now,

The divine in your heart.

I'm feeling it in everybody's heart.

Right?

And there's greater willingness to allow it.

Sometimes we just need a light shone on the situation for us to make a surrender,

You know?

As long as we can't see it clearly,

We're going around in a fog,

Trying to fix,

Trying to do it right.

But when we see it,

We stop trying.

And you just kind of deal,

Or you shift.

The thing is,

Our minds function like the therapist taking the people into a dingy little room to talk about the negative things.

Our fear will want us to keep focusing on all the terrible things that have ever happened to us.

And our fear will want us to keep focusing on all the darkness in other people,

And all the flaws within ourselves.

And we believe this,

And we go around in it.

And our hearts are going,

What's happening here?

What's the matter with you?

Could you just let me in?

Would you just let me love you?

Can you just let me show you how stupid this is?

Really?

We could do it this life or another life.

Right.

In the highest place,

Evil does not exist.

We're just in this duality.

So we have light and darkness.

So we have live,

And then evil is live spelt backwards.

So evil happens when we.

.

.

It's like,

Do that.

When instead of living from the heart,

We live from control.

We live from the head.

We live from control.

It's just this game that we're in to learn.

And it's hair-raising sometimes.

Absolutely.

And it's glorious,

Too,

As you get it.

The more you get it,

The more fun you have.

The more alive you feel.

The less worried about everything you are.

Yeah.

Many of us have PhDs in going into the dingy little room.

Repeating all the negative things,

You guys.

This is the state of our culture.

It's actually why the West is falling.

Truly.

Because we're out of touch with our hearts.

We're out of touch just with Mother Nature.

And truth.

But your hearts have it.

Your hearts.

Like,

Right in your body.

Right in your heart area.

That's where your divinity.

.

.

That's like the seed of where your divinity speaks to you from.

Where it comes in through.

It's like the cross.

It's like,

Think of a person standing with their arms out,

Horizontally,

At the level of the heart.

That is the cross.

That is the intersection of our divinity and our humanity.

That's why Christ said,

You know,

Pick up the cross.

Or this is Pramasuta's take on it.

Because we have to put our arms around,

Like,

Our lives.

The question that our lives bring.

The whole reason we came here.

What we came to heal.

I can feel that,

You know,

The divinity coming through you.

It's as if you feel like it's weedy.

Many of you feel it's weedy.

It's just a dribble.

You know?

You know how to turn your divinity?

The dribble.

The trinkle.

Trickle.

Into a rushing river.

Is embrace yourself as you are.

With love.

Yeah.

And then guess who's actually doing it?

It's our divinity that allows us to do this.

Because our ego can never do it.

Our ego will just keep us in fear.

It's our divinity that forgives us.

That makes us feel compassion for ourselves.

That allows us to forgive others.

And when you allow that,

That streams through your heart.

Many of you are focused on how to fix yourself.

How to tell me the rules and I'll play the game.

Or that.

Tell me the rules and I'll play the game.

Or I want to fix myself.

Or I want my life to get better from my ego's point of view.

I want to use my soul to prop up my ego.

But yeah.

I mean,

We're.

It's not bad.

It's kind of like this is just our level of,

You know,

The culture is very material.

This is our training.

But when you see it,

You can't do it anymore.

And that's why I'm spelling it out.

When you really see what you're doing,

You will surrender.

You will open up to truth.

You just can't play the games anymore.

Because you see how wonky they are.

And how out of alignment and how they don't work.

That's why self-understanding.

Self-awareness is so important.

It's like decoding your own games.

It takes years,

You guys.

We're not like a paint by numbers to be done in an afternoon.

We're a work of eternal art.

You know,

This is the art of life.

That's it.

Art is in heart.

A-R-T.

The last three letters of heart.

Another word that's in heart is hear.

To listen.

Listen to your heart.

Hear.

Hear with a T.

English.

It's all right there.

In English.

So,

In a way,

All this has been to introduce.

I want to talk about a dear one's experience.

And it's going to be.

.

.

Cindy,

Are you here?

Yeah,

There you are.

Cindy,

You're going to get exposed.

But this is like.

.

.

And you're up for it.

It is so good what you're doing.

I just can't find you.

I think you're at the bottom of my phone.

Oh,

Well.

So.

.

.

Oh,

There you are.

Good.

So,

Cindy contacted me a couple of months ago.

Okay?

In distress.

Feeling something that Premasuddha has felt herself.

Okay?

And that is how we hurt our children.

When we're repeating the patterns coming down.

And we don't realize it.

Yeah.

And every kind of mother who's on the spiritual journey will trip over this.

And in Cindy's case,

She really wanted to talk to me.

Yeah.

And she tried to force it.

So,

We couldn't.

But I wrote her a couple of emails.

And I worked with her energetically.

And I knew that she would crack it.

Or I hoped.

I didn't know.

And this is why I have a great deal of love and respect for Cindy.

Because of the levels of the distress.

And her.

.

.

And being.

.

.

Premasuddha was a bit of a wall to her.

About when she was really kind of trying to force me to speak to her.

And she came forward anyway afterwards.

Okay.

That is innocence.

And it's the thing actually I have the highest respect for.

I think any true teacher has the highest respect for innocence in a person.

And how much they allow it.

Because Amma says innocence is the most powerful force in the world.

And of course it is.

Because it's the soul.

So,

Cindy contacted me.

Or sent an email yesterday.

Talking about a dream she had.

And I'm going to ask her to tell it.

And the reason is.

.

.

I want you to understand this.

What she's talking about.

It's a very deep thing.

And it totally operates in your life.

And the more you see it.

And ask for healing.

The more you'll be healed.

Okay,

Cindy.

Is there anything you need to say to me before you start?

Or to the group or anything?

I can't hear you.

Good morning and thank you.

Thank you,

Prima Sudha.

Okay.

The dream I had was Thursday morning.

It's really hard for me to say.

I bet.

I was with Amma.

And I had just struck her.

I was completely confused.

I didn't feel angry.

I would never hit anyone.

I was mortified.

And I woke up immediately.

Just everything was very clear.

There was no question.

And Amma even said,

Your hand must hurt.

Here,

Somebody give her some ice.

And I'm like,

Oh my.

I just woke up bawling.

And I prostrated myself and surrendered to Amma.

And I said,

I don't understand.

I don't know what I've done.

Please help me understand.

So I went through the day saying my mantras.

And doing my spiritual practice.

And it came to me that every time I am angry at people who have harmed me.

Or that I have perceived have harmed me.

I am harming Amma.

And then I contacted Prima Sudha.

And she had more to say.

Oh,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

You know,

That is the heart of our lives.

You know,

Christ said,

That which you do to the worst of me,

You do to me.

Right?

The worst of you,

You do to me.

Yes.

Mmm.

Cindy's dream was pointing up material under her consciousness.

And this is,

You know,

You guys.

If we're just staying conscious on like 20 levels.

We may have incredible things going on more deeply that we have not faced.

And cause us to act in ways that hurt ourselves,

Hurt others.

And,

Yes,

This hurts Amma.

I had been.

I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

No,

You go.

You go.

I had been praying to Amma to help me feel the connectedness,

The oneness of all beings.

No question.

Not just the kindness,

But the negativity in any form.

Right.

I'm seeing more.

The door is opening more.

Oh,

Cindy.

Your door.

I'll tell you.

Wow.

It's fantastic.

Sweetie.

It's fantastic.

And,

You guys,

This is also the practice how,

You know,

Christ said the last shall be first.

When we face these things within us,

We get brought up to a bigger understanding.

It's like.

Again,

I'm going to say it like Cindy.

You know,

When Cindy first presented,

She totally got fobbed off by Pramasutra.

She kept going.

And this satsang is really a celebration of human willingness that Cindy is expressing,

That she is modeling.

Human willingness to really,

You know,

Deal.

The power of the spirit.

You know,

The power of the human spirit to rise up,

To heal,

To allow these things to be healed.

Right.

You know,

You may you may witness some inflation.

This is what we do.

This is what we do.

Anyway,

Just if you if you feel inflated at all,

If you get inflated,

Just embrace it.

Just embrace it.

Know that Pramasutra is just giving you a big laughing hug.

Just.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You guys,

We will inevitably get inflated on the spiritual journey.

Whenever a teacher validates us,

You know,

We can go,

Oh,

I've got it now.

Yeah,

It's all good.

This is this is how delightfully human we are,

You know?

Yeah.

So.

You know,

Cindy,

This this violence you saw towards Amma is just what you guys,

It is what all our egos are doing underneath.

And they're doing it to our own souls.

So this,

You know,

When you start seeing this,

You can't rush it.

It is not a six month job.

Don't force,

Don't rush.

It is Cindy's time to make this breakthrough.

And she is.

It's like a tremendous gift.

To all of us,

Including Pramasutra.

These breakthrough times are not to be rushed.

They happen when they happen.

It's like climbing a mountain,

You climb,

You might,

You know,

Be climbing a rock face and all of a sudden you come to a beautiful plateau and you enjoy it.

And then you start climbing again.

There might not be a plateau for a while.

But you keep going.

Right.

Good.

So,

Cindy,

It feels like there might be a feeling of emptiness that comes up.

And then,

You know,

After emptiness,

You guys,

Then you get a rush of the divine river,

Filling up the space where the ego was.

You get it?

When our ego dissolves this way,

The divine comes in and fills the space in our bodies and our minds.

Now,

Cindy also wrote,

I love because she wrote about her body pain and she noticed intense pain of your shoulders.

I mean,

Really,

Cindy,

It sounded like your whole body was like suffering.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But she also said that she felt kind of good underneath.

Like this renewal happening.

You.

Yeah.

Excruciating shoulder pain,

Crunchy.

Arthritis.

Western medicine would say arthritis.

Left joint pain,

Shoulder,

Hip,

Thumb and wrist.

And I went through that.

I have rib pain and sternum pain.

Yep.

And I was cold.

Right.

And I needed to get warmed up.

Yeah.

So we went through all that.

That's challenging.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it came up a little bit today,

But it's clearing.

It's not near as intense as it has been.

I'm not as near as cold.

Right.

Are you feeling cold right now?

Are you feeling cold right now?

They're cool,

But they're not uncomfortable.

Yeah.

It's good.

It's also,

You know,

You'll be doing an even deeper clearing because of this exposure on the Satsang.

So,

You know,

Not surprising.

There's a little bit of the cold.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

You guys.

Good.

This is what Premasuda,

This is what happened to Premasuda.

This is what my body was doing.

Pretty much.

Yeah.

But the minute I just sat with it and it held it and listened to it.

Right.

Started to resolve.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm about 75% clearer than I was when I wrote you yesterday.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

This is the time,

You guys.

We're in this intense,

Accelerative time.

Yeah.

Also,

You're letting yourself receive.

And this is in a way long overdue.

So,

You're really getting it.

You know what I mean?

It's like the water levels flushing.

Yeah,

That's good.

Yeah.

Right.

Good.

Good.

Okay,

Good.

So,

What I'm seeing actually deep behind your eyes is I'm good enough.

And what I'm feeling is this is opening the door to real wise woman energy.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah,

You're kind of,

Oh,

I don't know if I'm good enough for that.

But you are.

This is what we like.

Like a wow moment more than I don't know if I'm not good enough.

It's like deep breath.

I'm good.

Right.

Right.

But premisuda actually sees things that are deep,

Sweetie.

So,

It's actually a clearing of a little bit of the deeper good enough going on even underneath the wow.

So.

Okay.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

How are you feeling just about our exchange right now?

Honestly?

Very warm.

Okay.

My solar plexus.

Just,

I feel warm,

Sparkly energy all over my body.

Okay,

Yeah.

Going up.

This is what happens.

I feel safe.

Right.

And I just feel like I'm integrating.

Yeah,

You are.

You are.

You're doing a slam dunk integration.

Totally.

You see,

You guys,

When we do this,

We end up giving a gift.

So,

Cindy's giving this gift.

She'll give it in every era of her life.

But she's really giving it,

I mean,

In a big,

You know,

In a big way here at the Satsang.

Because this is exactly what premisuda's work is about.

This is a beautiful example of the heart of it.

And it's a mind,

Body,

Intellect,

Emotional and spiritual shift.

And like I said to you,

I was experiencing like body pain like Cindy.

And I just observed like a scientist.

And it's like premisuda valued herself enough to observe.

And so,

I can give you this gift to make it hopefully easier for you.

And when you wake up,

It's all you want to do is just give.

And hope,

You know,

You hope that it's respected,

You know,

That it's used well.

It's not just trashed.

Right,

Because this is divine feminine work.

It's so what we need,

You guys.

The mask is so important.

But this is been,

It's like so repressed.

So,

That's part of why it's so painful when it comes up,

Cindy.

Because it's been repressed by the collective for centuries.

I knew that.

Pardon,

What?

I knew that.

Right.

Talking to Ama,

She told me I was a heavy lifter.

She used the words you used yesterday.

And she said,

Do you want to do it the easy way?

Or are you up for the hard way?

I said,

Bring it.

But,

Support me.

Okay,

Wait a second.

Hold on,

I think there's a misunderstanding there.

Clear me up,

Please.

Yeah.

So,

The way of the feminine,

The feminine face of God work is the easy way.

You do this in your body,

In this depth.

It is better than having an atom bomb dropped on your city.

Now,

I mean it.

That is the male way.

You drop an atom bomb on the city and you deal with it in the horizontal way.

You suffer,

You go through all that.

The feminine way is you might have some days of intense suffering,

Deeply.

And then the sunshine comes out in your whole life.

Wow.

Completely.

Right.

So,

This is clearing your misunderstanding,

I mean,

About Ama doing the.

.

.

You know,

Being a.

.

.

Premasuddha is a heavy lifter,

But I've done it the easy way.

Premasuddha has done many lifetimes of transformation in this lifetime,

You guys.

Yeah.

And if I was doing it more the male way of having extreme physical hardship,

I don't know where I'd be.

I think it's happened very quickly because of this inner way.

And this is what I'm wanting to promote in you women.

More courage to face these things internally,

Even as you have to meet the demands of your day.

And then have compassion for the difficulty of doing this.

Like,

I get it.

This is the greatest gift you could give your children,

Cindy,

By far.

By far,

By far,

By far.

Yeah.

This is pure gold for them.

And,

You guys,

The thing about with our kids is,

You know,

When you really wake up,

That is the biggest gift you can give your kids.

But then it's up to them what they do with it.

It's sort of like when you're a millionaire,

A billionaire,

And you give your kids inheritance.

And it's like,

It just depends what they do with that money.

It's the same when we clear stuff.

They're lighter.

It just depends what they do with it.

We don't have control.

We birth children,

Really,

When they hit adulthood,

You should step back.

It's hard for us.

It's hard for us Westerners to do that.

Well,

I think it's just hard for any parent.

You let them have their lives,

And you let yourself have your life.

And,

You know,

If your relationship continues,

Wonderful.

But if it gets kind of formal and distant,

Oh,

Well,

You know,

You have Alma.

And Alma would say,

You know,

She encourages in India that,

You know,

Grandparents don't get involved with grandparenthood,

That they really focus on their journey.

This took Pramasutha years to understand.

Why she would do that,

Yeah.

When resistance comes up,

You guys,

We might even,

You could even have,

Like,

Thoughts of actually pinching Alma or something.

Do you know that stuff can come up?

And it's just,

You know,

Don't,

I mean,

Just give it over.

Don't berate yourselves.

It is just the ego clearing.

This is what the ego does to our soul.

It pinches us.

It sticks pins into us.

Really.

I feel so blessed that,

You know,

Someone has come forward with this level of transformation.

Truly.

So that it becomes really clear what we're doing,

Where we're going.

Yeah.

Hearts,

Yeah,

Right.

Right.

And again,

The courage,

Cindy,

To approach me when I was really tough with you.

I was like,

Man.

Cindy was,

You have to talk to me.

You have to,

You have to.

And I'm like,

No,

I don't.

It doesn't feel right.

I can't.

No.

And then she approached me a month later,

Having had great insight.

And just opening like a little child.

Premasudha was gobsmacked at the innocence.

Truly.

Right.

And that's why Amma can work with you so deeply,

Cindy,

Right now.

Like the level of clearing that you're doing,

You know,

Through that dream.

It's what you're doing.

It's like your,

Really clearing.

I can see really,

Really deep,

Deep,

Deep stuff at the interchange of where your soul and your ego meet,

You know,

Kind of like right there in that line.

And I'm seeing you just clearing such a lot of gak.

It's just being cleared so that you'll be able to like communicate.

Do you know,

It's like the Self-Realized Masters just allowed the love in to the old ego structure.

So it's like we start off with the ego,

You guys.

It's a haunted house.

Most of us are living with a haunted house.

That's why Maxie said that this,

When fear came up,

Fear voice yesterday,

It was spooky.

That it'll be spooky.

It's a haunted house.

And the more that you see the lie of all this,

These ghosts and fear,

The more you see how ridiculous it is,

How stupid it is.

You go through your spiritual bottles.

They become fewer and fewer ghosts in your house until it's empty.

The whole house is empty.

There are no more ghosts.

There's no more fear.

And at that point,

The light,

The love flows in,

Amma flows in and you just become a lit house.

And that's why thoughts disappear.

You're just lit.

Or you still may get some,

But you don't have a relationship with them.

They just come and go.

So Franco,

What's going on with you right now?

What are you thinking?

What's going on with you?

Can you get your microphone?

That's funny.

There it is.

Oh,

You got it.

Yeah,

What's going on with you?

Oh,

I was just,

Yeah,

I was just thinking about today where I was on a walk and we enjoyed the sun and the lake and how cool I felt just trusting my insight of going there,

Even if it was a more far way to go there.

But I really felt I need this sun and the water to connect me with.

And that's where I was just thinking about how more I'm connected to myself right now.

And I'm just enjoying it,

Actually.

And I'm proud of myself.

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

Yeah.

Good.

That's it,

You guys.

You take these steps.

That's it.

You just take these steps.

You follow this guidance that comes.

And it will be what makes you happy.

It's like Avani yesterday,

Staying in the hall with Amma to watch the dance.

And because she followed herself,

There was that breakthrough that came through her input.

Now,

Normal spiritual training,

Lots of times we'll say,

Well,

Don't distract yourself.

Go back to the hall.

You should watch the satsang in a quiet place.

And yes,

That's true.

But if your guidance is telling you to do something different,

Do it.

This is how we get out of the box.

This is how we get out of the ego.

This is what takes the courage.

But it's so lovely when you do it.

It's like a kid getting out of school.

You get to be in your life.

You get to occupy your life.

Be real in your life.

Yeah.

Thanks,

Franka.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Awesome.

Yeah.

Thanks.

It's so great.

And part of why we can do this today is because Premasudha has been rattling chains and saying,

Listen,

Listen,

Listen.

Because this was just treated like Saturday afternoon tea or something.

Right.

Right.

And this is what we do to ourselves,

You guys.

This is what we discount.

We discount ourselves.

And this is,

Again,

It's not personal to Premasudha.

It's just like,

Yeah,

We punch up underneath.

If you walk by somebody who's suffering,

You are doing violence to your own soul.

This takes a while to learn how to walk.

It's so funny,

I'm getting a picture of a baby in a walker,

A toddler in a walker.

The thing that's like,

It's like a circle and there's a tray and the child can sort of walk around.

Yeah.

And that's where we all are.

It's like learning how to walk.

This.

Patience.

Patience.

Patience.

Please.

Patience.

And please,

You know,

Don't hide from your teachers.

You know,

Don't hide.

There's no point.

Sometimes we want to hide and figure it out ourselves.

And sometimes that's good.

It's good.

Yeah.

And then sometimes it's just the ego leading us on another long loop.

We're avoiding showing ourselves.

Yeah.

This is the stuff that you require discernment to figure out which it is.

And you'll learn through experience.

Experience will teach you guys.

This is very,

Very beautiful.

Cindy,

Is there anything else you want to add or say?

Sweet one.

I'm good.

Thank you so much.

I'm just basking in the glow.

You deserve it.

You do deserve it.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Breakthrough time.

I think about all the bodies out,

You know,

In the world and the pain that so many of them are in.

And they don't know this.

You know,

Or they don't.

They've never had a hug from Mama.

This is what keeps Premacitta going.

I just keep.

.

.

Wanting to share.

I had some cleaning help a while ago.

And she was lovely.

And I felt like I could reach her.

So I did.

She'd been the wife of a businessman.

And he died.

So actually,

She has lots of money.

But she's got a fear of lack operating.

So he.

.

.

It makes her a little grasping.

So she's working as a cleaning lady,

Even though she doesn't need to.

So.

.

.

I ended up doing bodywork on her.

And at first,

He was like,

Looking at me like,

You're cuckoo.

What am I doing working for this?

Oh,

You're cuckoo.

And then I had to go to India,

You know,

And.

.

.

I came back and I said,

Do you want to come and help me out a bit?

And she said,

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Because of these changes that happened in her life in the meantime.

Through the bodywork and through the talk.

And she was like,

Oh,

I didn't know this was possible in life.

I didn't know.

Right.

And this is how it is.

We don't know.

But she was open,

Right?

She didn't push it away.

She didn't dismiss it.

She was open.

She received it and,

You know,

Here we are.

Yeah.

And who knows what agreements we have to meet.

We obviously,

She had an agreement to meet with Premasudha.

So this was how it was to happen.

Hmm.

See,

It's very beautiful and it's a very ordinary weave.

You know,

And at the time when I was working with her and getting this response,

I was thinking to myself,

Why do I do this?

Why do I keep like setting myself up to get punched,

Cindy,

Really?

It's kind of like,

That's what I was thinking.

Why do I do this?

I mean,

She has no background in the spiritual thing.

I mean,

There's just,

I'm just humiliating myself,

You know,

And then look what happened.

Huh?

Yeah.

So,

You know,

I know the usual thing is,

You know,

Be careful who you share this with.

And yes,

That's true.

You do have to be careful.

But again,

It's like this,

The way of the feminine is very kind of expansive this way.

She spreads the seeds.

She seeds the earth.

You know,

Some seeds grow,

Some doesn't,

Some don't.

But she spreads the seeds.

Yeah.

But take care of your hearts.

You know,

You don't want to get crushed so deeply that you can't get up again.

So be careful,

But be generous with people.

They just don't know.

I've told you,

Abraham,

In his culture,

The kahunas,

It was a risk of death,

The penalty of death if they shared this information with white people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So for Abraham,

It became a matter of the soul.

His soul was saying,

Share this and thank goodness because Prema Sutta would not be the woman she is today without Abraham.

And he shared it.

And for five years,

He was worried about being murdered at nighttime.

Right.

So there is what Amma would call an austerity.

An austerity is kind of like a painful task that you do.

And if you do it,

It clears the way for love to enter your life.

It clears the way for love power to come into your heart,

For you to share.

Five years of not knowing whether you're going to be murdered or not,

That seems to me very,

Very selfless.

And I remember he told me this,

Like he told all of us.

And I went,

Oh,

Yeah,

Cool.

And afterwards,

It kind of dawned on me the enormity of what he'd gone through.

Do you know,

As I became more fully human,

You know how we can hear about bad things and you go,

Yeah,

That's too bad.

But then sometimes you feel it.

You hear a bad thing and you feel it.

And you go,

Oh,

My goodness.

So it was the same.

It took me a while to feel what he was saying.

And I feel this about you guys,

That you'll,

You know,

You might get some of what I'm saying in the future where you really feel what I'm saying.

Yeah.

So talk about selfless.

And yet,

You know,

On a personal level,

He had a little bit of an eye for the ladies.

And that's why I really completed with him because there was a woman,

A very vulnerable woman in her,

Australian woman who lived in the middle of nowhere.

And Ibrahim had no like affair with her.

And then,

You know,

Became less interested in it.

I was like,

OK,

I just,

She was just a beginner.

I was like,

I don't,

I just,

I can't.

This woman is too vulnerable to be left like this by a teacher.

Yeah.

So you see,

Again,

You know,

Black and white,

You know,

Even self-realized people can somehow at times,

You know.

But there's another argument that says,

You know,

If somebody is really self-realized,

Anything they do will have benefit for the person.

This is where it's like,

You guys,

You just have to walk through this and pray and come to terms with what you can stand and what you can live with.

The premacida couldn't live with this.

That was the end.

It was her vulnerability.

She lived in the middle of Australia in a house by herself.

Where do you go from having been like the cuddle partner of an awakened kahuna to going back to Australia living in your house by yourself?

It's like,

Oh.

But maybe it was the making of her.

Maybe she became a great shaman.

Like,

This is it,

You know.

Sometimes,

You know,

It could have been just the making of her.

That abandonment.

So you see,

We can't with your thoughts about things,

You guys,

Keep it loose.

Keep your stories loose.

Keep doors and windows open for the bigger truth to come in.

Always.

That's funny.

I'm seeing salt being spread on ice.

It's melting the ice.

You see,

We numb out,

We get icy.

We get icy.

Our hearts get icy.

We get judgmental.

We get like,

Well,

This is black and this is white and blah,

Blah,

Blah.

It's not so easy.

No,

It's way more ambiguous.

There's a story about this where this farmer's son was riding a horse and he fell off and broke his leg and everybody said,

Oh,

That's too bad,

Too bad.

And he said,

Well,

Maybe.

And then within two weeks,

War broke out and his son didn't have to go to war because of this injury.

And everybody said,

Oh,

Good news,

Good news.

And he went,

Maybe.

And then it goes on.

You know,

I don't know,

I can't remember what happened.

Maybe he never learned how to walk properly again after that.

And everybody went,

Oh,

Bad news,

Bad news.

But then there was some good news.

So it's really like this,

You guys.

Remember,

Our minds,

It's like,

Remember the Rwandan going into a dingy room disconnected from the sun and everything.

We don't want to do that.

We want to keep going to your heart.

The sunshine,

Nature,

The bigger understanding.

And,

You know,

Your heart will bring things up that your head has the most trouble with.

It will often be like choreographed,

Like as if your worst nightmare.

That's what it looks like to your head.

But to your heart,

It's like a breakthrough.

Kamasutra's worst nightmare was that mental difficulty period in my middle thirties.

It was my gateway to this big understanding.

I don't think I would have got here without it.

What's bad is good and what's good is bad.

And often,

You guys,

Often it's that way.

And then there's finally no bad and good.

We're just in this dream.

We're just in this flow of the divine.

Everything is God.

Every single person,

Everything you see is just God.

That's it.

And when you get it,

You're just peaceful.

You're just,

You know,

It's God's world.

You're just here as a little child experiencing God's world or Amma's world.

Takes years.

But some of you,

You know,

You haven't even made the breakthrough to your souls yet.

Just let that happen.

Let that happen.

You could ask Amma to let it happen in the best possible way at the pace you can handle.

You guys,

What you turn and face goes very soft.

It's when we're running from it that it's hard.

When you're running from your truth,

You get whacked.

When you turn and face it,

It goes soft as a blossom.

This is why I say to you guys,

Don't try to manage your pain.

Face it.

Just be with it.

Premasiddha's knee jerk was focus on compassion for yourself.

And then I would do things to make myself feel better.

But don't compartmentalize.

Don't run from your pain and run into doing some activity to make you feel better.

Don't do that.

Take your whole self into the activity.

So,

If you're in pain and dance makes you feel better,

You do dance,

But you're not trying to run from your pain or trying to fix it or anything.

You're just all of it.

That will lead you into soul energy.

It can be very scary.

You know,

Premasiddha's hair stood up on the top of her head many times.

So,

I have great empathy for that.

But,

You know,

This is ballsy work.

It's heavy lifted in the feminine way,

Which makes it very light.

You see,

It ends up just being very light if you do it this feminine way.

It's like getting a hug from Amma.

It's the same principle.

You know,

Abraham,

I've said it a million times,

I've said 18 hours a day,

But it wasn't quite that bad.

But,

You know,

You just had to do it.

You couldn't stop.

So,

You would get to the point of exhaustion.

Okay?

And what would happen is you would cry or something and you'd get your second wind.

And when you cried,

Part of your ego died.

Because lots of us our conditioning,

It chunks us down so much that even it reduces our energy.

So,

At an ego level,

You might have the energy to do,

Say,

10 hours of movement and be unable to do more.

You get to that point,

You can't stop.

So,

Something beyond you comes in and takes your body up to a new level of functioning.

And this is what we see in Amma with her hugging.

She has said that she has got to the point of exhaustion.

I'm wondering how how to go farther and she will speak this to the Brahmachari and then in that she gets another second wind.

This is what happens with us,

You guys.

This is what happened in the dancing with Abraham.

And Pramasutta experienced the power of the soul energy coming and giving you a lift and making it possible for you to do things that you never knew you could do.

In this case,

Keep the movement up.

And then,

You know,

When the soul was really running feeling like a million dollars even after,

Say,

12 hours of movement.

How is that possible?

The soul energy is the same energy Cindy was talking about with even though her body is in pain,

She had this sense of renewal,

A sense of lightness,

A sense of being on track underneath.

It's very interesting.

I mean,

I almost feel like this is the heart of a satsang.

I mean,

I'm kind of like,

Well,

What will we talk about after?

I don't know.

Because this is it,

Really.

The only thing I can think of is that more people will enter more deeply into the process and then the satsang will help support you with that.

And,

You know,

The only reason Pramasutta kept going with this was,

Number one,

I'd been grown up,

You know,

Well off,

So I knew money wasn't the answer.

And,

Number two,

No,

The most one was I didn't want my children to suffer like I had.

The emotional trauma coming down the family line.

I didn't want them to go through it.

I wanted to find another way.

I saw the trauma was just getting worse and worse.

And I knew that if I tried to go to sleep after,

Go back to sleep,

That my kids would just show me tremendous suffering.

Then I'd have to witness it in them that I couldn't run.

Yeah.

Pretty stark choices.

That's the way it gets to you guys.

But my mom said,

You know,

She couldn't do it.

You know,

Her dad beat her.

They were poor.

I don't know why she couldn't,

But she couldn't.

And she told me,

Well,

I knew you'd do it.

And I'm like,

Thanks,

Mom.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Turning your daughter into the trauma queen because you couldn't face it.

But,

Yeah,

It broke her heart to watch me go through what she'd run from.

This is how real it is,

You guys.

This is the stuff we'll have to face.

You know,

You get it in your deathbed.

You get it.

And,

Again,

You could do tremendous work and your kids,

You know,

It's sort of like with kids who inherit a lot of money,

It depends how they spend it.

It depends what they do with it.

Like,

Somebody could have a child who,

Like,

Started to rob banks and,

You know,

With the enlightenment,

The person would just feel better robbing banks.

Or maybe a more success staying out of jail.

Who knows?

But then they'd get the karma of that.

And they'd get the karma of misusing that divine energy.

Yeah,

You guys,

It is inescapable.

We are divine beings here to learn.

We think we're human.

We think we're these individuals with this psychology and,

You know,

Your personal past.

And it's just nothing.

You're not that.

You're an eternal being who's just wearing this coat of this personality that you express.

It's just a coat.

The coat comes off.

You can take the coat off while you're living.

All right.

Okay,

You guys,

Don't push yourselves.

Don't rush yourselves.

Just having listened to this will help.

Please don't put any pressure on yourselves at all.

Please,

Please,

Please.

You know,

Premasutita,

It's like 40 years.

And Premasutita,

This is my time to give my gift.

So I'm really coming forward with it,

But it took me 40 years.

Okay,

So please,

The key is to be very gentle and compassionate with yourself.

That's why it's called the compassionate way.

And only our egos have trouble with that.

I'm feeling the silence of the universe.

Any comments or questions?

Please come forward if you need to,

Please.

Remember,

You're in Amma's arms all the time.

You're in the arms of your soul all the time.

That's it.

I can feel you in my heart right now.

We're all one,

You guys.

You are just hearing your self speak.

Yeah.

You're just hearing an aspect of yourself speak.

Okay,

Blessings,

You guys.

Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you,

Blessings,

Blessings.

Just adorable.

Be gentle with yourselves,

Forgiving with yourselves,

Compassionate with yourselves.

Please,

Please.