How Do We Turn In When We've Spent Our Lives Looking Out?

This is the 64-million-dollar question of our time. Premasudha tackles the issue head-on, inspiring us to learn to take refuge in the Creator's energy rather than trying to fight our battles on our own. Once again, Premasudha shares her multi-faceted wisdom earned through four decades of studying with spiritual masters, including Amma, the Indian Hugging Saint.

Transcript

Yes,

Yes.

Some new faces from some of you that I've been working with here in Germany.

And special blessings to Thorsten.

And it's lovely to see you all,

Truly.

It's like,

Ah,

So looking forward.

You know,

I just want to ask you if anybody's got a question or comment that's really pressing,

That really you want to speak about before we start.

Otherwise,

We'll just jump in.

Hi,

Prima Sudha.

Yes.

Hi to all.

Yes,

I want to say something.

Okay.

Yeah,

I'm actually in a rebirth.

And I'm asking constantly for grace.

And now it's here.

And yeah,

I just want to say that because it's for all.

Right.

So you're feeling the grace.

I'm feeling the grace.

Yes.

Fantastic.

Yeah.

It's when the cells of our bodies open to the love,

When our psyches open enough,

That the cells of our body open to the love that we're made out of and that we're bathing in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

It's like,

We become like babies,

Nursing babies.

You actually kind of nurse from the universe,

From the loving universe.

And most of us don't feel it's loving.

I really,

I know it's our conditioning,

Or conditioned into this alienation.

But we can recover this love,

This bonded to this love.

And truly,

You will start feeling like a nursing infant and safe like a nursing infant.

But it takes time.

It takes time.

And it takes a lot of patience.

And,

You know,

I'm getting gratefulness.

It takes gratefulness,

But it also takes a lot of self-compassion.

Okay,

So before today,

I just want to go back to last week with the angel coming and the message from the angel.

And it was actually an archangel.

And it was Archangel Gabriel.

But I didn't want to,

It sort of took me a while to register this,

Because I was focused on the satsang.

So,

You know,

I received the message.

And then afterwards,

I realized that it's,

You know,

I'd seen Archangel Gabriel,

Who is a messenger.

Now,

The whole reason he appeared to me,

Where I got a visual of him,

Like the outlines of him,

Was when I usually just get like a feeling,

A physical feeling,

Like a download.

I don't know how many of you listened to last week's satsang,

But the message he said was,

Remind them that the truth is within them.

And to look inside.

Yeah,

It's part of what we'll be doing today.

And before,

In the run-up,

In the hours before the satsang,

It became very clear to me that it was about healing a broken heart.

Healing our broken hearts.

Allowing the loving to heal our broken hearts.

Right.

And this is what you were talking about,

Suzanne,

With the feeling of our rebirth and receiving grace.

Right.

It made it go very deep in you.

Because the answers,

That's what takes care of our lives,

Is going deep enough.

Allowing a deep enough healing that things do change for us.

Right.

Okay.

So one of the,

I was a very extroverted,

My consciousness was very extroverted,

Just,

You know,

Because common.

And what happened was pain and trauma pushed me to look inside.

And then this one learned how to meditate.

Because I didn't want any more pain and trauma.

And the pain and trauma that this one had gone through had opened deep doors within my psyche.

Now,

This is what,

This one is really good at assisting others to help open these deeper doorways to truth in a grounded way.

And please don't push yourselves at all.

But it is possible at this time of extreme,

You know,

The universe,

Our world's tipping,

In this time of extremis,

It is possible to make very big gains spiritually and come to a much deeper understanding.

But you guys,

The thing is,

The truth is inside you.

It's like you will already know it.

I don't know how often I've said to something,

To somebody,

And they said,

Oh yeah,

I felt that before.

I felt that.

But you see,

It hadn't come quite up to their consciousness.

It wasn't really available for them to live.

But they kind of knew it underneath in a half-hearted way,

Sort of like as children,

We learn to turn away from our true knowledge,

Away from the truth of our hearts to fit in.

So this is what many of you are running.

And that's what can be so unsatisfying about the journey and requires so much patience.

Yeah.

You know,

We tend to turn inside when we realize we're not getting anywhere.

Some of you are getting restless with this,

By the way.

Just notice.

Just notice.

I can feel it.

Yeah.

For some of you,

It is absolutely your worst nightmare to turn inside.

Okay.

There may be a lot of silence in this sad thing.

As I work with you silently.

Yeah.

You know,

If you've to go deeper inside and at the same time,

It may be uncomfortable for you.

And at the same time,

It may be uncomfortable and you may even feel a little awkward.

Like,

What does going inside really mean?

Well,

I'll tell you what happened with me is I once had a moment of actually where energetically,

I could feel myself reversing direction from going outward to actually just turning inside.

I just sort of watched myself turn toward my heart rather than going out.

You can't manipulate yourself into doing this.

It just will happen as a result of your deep intent.

It's inevitable if you're sincere,

I promise you.

What's so hard sometimes in teaching is we're all fascinated by ourselves,

You know,

And a teacher can,

You know,

Help.

You know,

Sometimes I tell people about some things about their ego to kind of help them to help make it safe for them to turn inside and find themselves.

And lots of times it's been that there's,

You know,

That people just want the attention.

Okay.

I'm just getting tougher and tougher with this.

I have to.

You know,

I want to back to the broken heart.

I'm going to tell you a story that actually broke my heart.

I was working with a woman for about a couple of years,

And she was lovely.

And she was a teacher,

And she was a lovely woman.

And her mom had used to say to her,

You're a rotten egg,

But I love you anyway.

So she'd call her a rotten egg,

And then she'd come alongside and hug her.

Okay.

Okay.

Now,

She said this over and over and over again,

This woman.

And,

You know,

We worked together for a couple of years,

And then she turned to me and she said,

I don't want to work with you anymore.

Basically,

She said,

I,

It's like,

I think,

I mean,

I,

She basically said to me,

This work is true,

But it's never going to fly in the mainstream,

Which I think is,

Is wrong.

I think it will over time.

And so she,

You know,

Stopped studying with me.

So to me,

She chose to stay a rotten egg.

It was more captivating for her to stay in her feeling bad about herself,

Like a rotten egg,

But kind of socially acceptable.

Do you see?

Okay.

That broke my heart.

Was for her,

It broke my heart.

It also broke my heart because,

You know,

I lost,

I was,

You know,

I lost a good student.

She had been a good support to me,

And that was very helpful to my work.

And I really enjoyed working with her.

Okay.

So,

You guys,

This is what stops us from going deeper,

Is we think we're kind of like rotten eggs,

Really,

Really.

We feel safer with the self-deprecation,

With the,

You know,

Being scared of our true self.

Yeah.

Okay,

This is very good.

I can feel this in you.

Yeah.

Good.

Good.

There's kind of,

This has hit a chord in some of you,

And there's a reorienting that's happening very deeply.

Right.

It's if some of you,

It's many of you,

Actually,

Are allowing some love in,

Deep in your unconscious.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

It's like as deep as the teacher is gone,

There is a multi-level invitation to students to go that deep.

It's like the door is open to students to go that deep.

And this is how this works.

Mm-hmm.

And there's a feeling of this light coming in,

And there's a feeling of you learning how to take shelter in this love.

Yeah.

So,

You know the expression,

Some of you may have heard this,

Taking refuge in the Buddha.

Taking refuge in the Buddha.

Taking refuge in Amma.

Taking refuge in your soul energy.

Right.

This is what this energy is like.

It's as if there's this opening to taking refuge into the safety of this divine energy.

You can think of it,

You could think of it as Amma,

You could think of it as Christ,

You could think of it as Buddha,

But it is a taking refuge.

Okay.

Okay.

That's very good work.

Okay.

Because most of us Westerners,

We try so hard.

We try.

And it's just far better to just take refuge like a little child.

That's what works.

Okay.

Good.

Good.

That's it.

Well,

You know,

Some of you,

It's as if this week you've gone,

What is the matter with me?

Yeah.

What is the matter with me?

It's like,

Whatever it is,

Whether I try to do my meditation practices,

Or I try to eat properly,

Or whatever it is you're trying to do,

It's like you go,

What is the matter with me that it doesn't happen,

That I can't do it?

Okay.

Take refuge in the Buddha.

Take refuge in Amma.

Please.

Please.

It is insolvable at the level that some of you are trying to solve your lives at.

It's insolvable that way.

It will not happen.

Yeah.

But you just take refuge like a little child.

Refuge to Amma.

Refuge in Buddha.

Refuge in your soul energy.

Refuge in Premasuddha,

If that feels right.

Whatever.

But just where it's off your shoulders.

Please.

Right.

That is how you go inside more.

It's one of the ways that if you do that,

That will take you inside more.

Stop trying to fix.

Stop trying to perfect yourself.

Just take refuge.

That's it.

That's it.

Right.

Okay.

This is also going to be close to the bone in some of you.

I'm seeing some of you put roots down into this divine energy.

And some of you.

.

.

Okay.

And now again,

This is breaking my heart.

It's just breaking my heart because it's what?

It's because you feel unloved by life that you would do this.

You are trying to build roots from your head.

You know,

You're trying to figure it out with your head.

Figure out your roots with your head almost.

Trying to do roots.

Putting your roots down into your being with your head.

Okay.

This is not going to work.

A lot of you are doing this.

I can see these black lines.

As if you're building.

.

.

Trying to build roots from your head.

It's not going to work.

It's your heart.

It's your heart.

It's like putting roots down into your heart.

Right.

Right.

It's like some of you find these satsangs like a big salve of peace.

That helps.

And it does.

I really know that.

And this is like a salve for your wounding.

Like a soothing anti-itch.

You know,

Something that helps take the pain away.

Yeah.

A salve for the wounds in the heart.

Right.

Right.

Right.

But the thing that really will help your heart is putting your roots down into the truth of you.

Yeah.

And you do that by It's this taking refuge.

The Buddha.

Taking refuge in Ammu.

Taking refuge.

Like a little child.

He knows they cannot figure it out.

They cannot save themselves.

They cannot save themselves.

They just don't know.

So I was telling Anna as we were driving from the,

You know,

South to Berlin,

That I felt like a little child looking at all these signs of all these places that I didn't even know what,

How to pronounce the names,

Let alone what they look like.

It's sort of like being a four-year-old kid in a car.

Yeah.

Not really,

You know,

Just trusting that mom knows where she's going,

You know.

Right.

Right.

You guys.

The other side of this taking refuge in the Buddha,

Refuge in the Amma,

Is letting your hearts break.

Okay.

Let life break your heart and let life bring you into a healing.

All of it.

All of it.

We're all hostages to our lives anyway,

You know.

It's like,

Let life heal you.

It will seem that life wounds you.

So we go to protect ourselves and figure it out and we go to fight and we struggle.

But let life heal you and then let the healing,

Let life,

You know,

Let it wound you and then let the healing emerge from within.

Don't try to do it.

You know,

I let my soul solve all my problems from the time I was about 35 on,

Okay.

I kind of took refuge in the Buddha because I didn't know Amma.

That was,

I didn't even know what the Buddha energy was like.

It's like I knew my head couldn't solve my life,

So it was,

Let my soul solve my life.

But I'll tell you,

If you do that,

You can't then go back to your head.

You can't let your soul solve one set of problems and then the next year go back into your head Once you make that step of asking your soul to solve all your difficulties,

Keep turning to your soul,

Take refuge in your soul energy,

Take refuge in the Buddha,

Allow it to show you,

Allow it to guide you,

You can't go back.

It won't work.

You can't be so ambivalent.

I mean,

It's like,

You know,

The creator won't have a lukewarm lover,

Okay.

Who wants a lukewarm lover who flips back and forth?

You know,

You tell this person,

Go away,

Don't bother me.

You know,

You tell this person,

Go away,

Don't bother me.

You know,

You tell this person,

Go away,

Don't bother me.

You want a devoted lover.

You want a lover that just loves you more than anything.

And then maybe you'll give your heart to that lover.

It's the same with the creator.

And the creator doesn't give himself or herself away cheaply at all.

Yeah.

You know,

There are worse things than walking around with a broken heart.

It's not so bad if you don't have a broken heart.

It's not so bad if you don't have a broken heart.

It's not so bad if you don't have a broken heart.

It's not so bad if you don't have a broken heart.

It's not so bad if you don't have a broken heart.

It's not so bad if you don't have a broken heart.

It's not so bad if you don't fight it.

It's not so bad if you just walk around with a broken heart.

And what you'll find is that you see people's pain more and that you're moved to help them.

And that when you help others,

Your pain gets smaller.

Your broken heart feels better.

Yeah.

This is where this work came from.

It came from my broken heart.

And I noticed that when I offered this work at whatever level I was in my life as,

You know,

I rose up the mountain,

I felt better.

I felt more peaceful.

I felt,

I expanded.

But it all came from a broken heart and I gave from that.

So some of you are already doing this.

Some of you are thinking about it.

Some of you would really like to be able to do that.

You know,

That visit from Gabriel was a big deal.

I was really concentrating on you when it happened and I didn't want to get.

.

.

But then afterwards,

I felt like,

Why would I kind of brush him off like that?

And I even forgot his message at the end in the sex thing.

I'm saying,

What did he say again?

What did he say?

Oh,

And it was a big message and it was a big message for this work.

That's it.

That's it.

Because the ones,

Some of you know me for a while and you know that I,

That this one can overhelp.

And it's not loving to overhelp.

It's actually very disrespectful to the divine being who is the person who is getting overhelped.

Because you can do it.

You can wake up.

It's our choice.

Yeah.

You have permission to turn inside.

You have permission to go deeper in your meditation and in your experience of life in a very grounded,

Stable way.

You have that permission.

Yeah.

Okay.

Rest in this.

Divine energy that's come to you.

If you can't feel it,

Just,

You know,

Just listen to my words.

You don't have to be able to feel it.

It's not bad if you don't feel it.

Yeah.

You guys,

I think a lot of you just need your hearts to break.

You just need to allow your hearts to break.

Yeah.

To feel it.

To feel the,

The grief underneath.

You know,

Underneath the control.

Underneath the busy mind.

It's kind of a relief to feel this relief,

This grief,

Truly.

You know,

I read a,

It was some channel years ago,

And it said that people were going to get so numb that the,

The popular books were books that were,

You know,

That the popular books were books that were,

That were going to,

As a result,

That people would feel as they read,

That it caused people to feel.

Feel anything.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

You know,

If you let your heart break,

You know,

You may just,

You know,

Lie down on your bed,

Lie down on your bed,

Maybe on a sunny afternoon,

Just lie down on your bed.

And just feel it.

That,

That is one of the most accelerating things you could do.

And I'm not talking about depression.

I'm talking about the broken heart and the broken heart of the child.

But also,

You know,

The adult,

We can feel this broken heart.

And I'll tell you,

If you feel the broken heart,

And feel it fully,

You will go into peace,

You will weave your divine nature into your bodies as a byproduct,

And you will be less frightened of life.

Yeah,

Your fear will go down.

Because the thing we're all scared of is,

Is love,

Is deep love.

Yeah,

That's all you're scared of.

You might think you're scared of poverty or getting Alzheimer's or whatever,

But actually,

You're just scared of this life.

And that's why spiritual masters are fearless.

They have no more fear left.

They felt it all.

And they,

They know how ridiculous the fear is.

I mean,

People kill other people out of fear.

And it's like,

They should be scared of killing somebody,

You know?

Some of you feel you can't do it.

And that's a,

That will be a fear of vulnerability.

Okay?

So underneath,

You're frightened of your vulnerability as a human being.

So you feel you can't let your heart go.

So you feel you can't let your heart break.

And people do all kinds of stupid actions because they're scared of being vulnerable.

Woman might have like plastic surgery,

You know,

She'll get a tummy tuck.

She'll try to be like,

Look,

20 years younger.

But how does that make you feel?

Look 20 years younger,

But how does that stop her vulnerability?

How does that prevent her vulnerability?

It doesn't,

It doesn't solve it at all.

We might buy a lot of clothes so that we look,

You know,

Well turned out.

But that doesn't solve it either.

We might avoid deep friendships because we're scared of being vulnerable.

That just leaves us lonely and really vulnerable.

See?

Yeah.

See,

Any escape route will just cause more trouble,

Will just cause more pain.

Okay,

That's interesting.

You're thinking about that.

Any escape route will just cause you more pain in the long run.

I promise you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

There's the fear of vulnerability is coming up very thick.

So just take refuge in the Buddha.

Refuge in Amma.

Refuge in your divine energy.

Refuge in me.

Refuge in your heart.

Do that whenever you feel insecure,

Truly.

That will help you gradually face your lives.

You know,

On the spiritual journey,

Our hearts break over and over and over again as our understanding gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

This is why I say that our heartbreak is actually a break in our understanding.

It's a break in our viewpoint.

And it will often have,

You know,

Our illusion will be dying.

So,

You know,

Maybe somebody we love doesn't love us or they're not loving us.

They want to dump us and our hearts break.

And we lose that person.

And then we deepen into our truth,

Maybe.

And we see that it's the best thing that ever happened that this person left us.

We lose somebody or we don't get a job we wanted.

It might break our heart.

We feel the heartbreak.

We come into a deeper understanding and we see that the job was not for us anyway.

That our life was meant to go a different way.

See,

Just feel the heartbreak.

Like,

The spiritual master has felt all the heartbreak and so much pain and so much pain all the heartbreak and so their heart just stays open.

It never closes anymore.

Yeah.

Just notice what you're feeling right now.

Notice how your body feels.

Just with what I've been talking about.

I'm seeing a little child of one of you who's standing taking refuge with the Buddha energy or Amma energy very bravely.

It's very beautiful.

That's it.

You know,

Life can't hurt you if you have this kind of attitude of that you just really want your full awareness and you're going to take refuge in the Buddha or Amma or your true nature and just face everything and let your soul solve everything and just let it be.

Until finally you merge with your soul.

You will merge with your soul finally because your soul's the only real one.

And it wins.

It will either win this life or next life,

Another life,

But it's going to win.

I really hope you think about this taking refuge and think about playing with it because it can really help you become braver.

It can really help you face your lives more.

It can really increase your peace.

Even if your ego comes back and tries to make a fuss,

Oh,

Well,

Just keep taking refuge.

Yeah.

No,

Guys,

This can take years,

What I'm talking about.

It can take years,

But we're also at this extreme moment where we're learning faster than we have,

I would say.

But we're also at this extrema,

So we're learning faster than we have,

I would say.

You know,

When one person does this,

Like really is doing it with this taking refuge,

That actually helps the whole group.

That's it.

It is helping the whole group because one person has sincerely done this.

Just take refuge in the Buddha and Amma,

And you let your soul solve your problems.

You let the divine energy solve your problems.

It really helps to say a mantra,

And it really helps to learn how to witness so that you're allowing the universe to help you,

But you're witnessing your ego,

And you're feeling the sorrow of where you're stuck,

And you feel the grief,

And you become freer.

Yeah.

It's how it happens.

It's how it happens.

And remember,

We don't do.

.

.

Some of you are still tempted to try to do the spiritual journey,

And you can't.

The spiritual journey is done for you by something beyond you.

So that's why if you take refuge in that something beyond you,

You're going right to the source of your spiritual journey,

Do you see?

You're going right to the boss of your spiritual journey.

You're going to the universal mother energy,

The universal father energy.

You are going right to the source of electricity,

You know,

Right to the source of the energy that you are.

And that's why it works.

Right.

This is good.

It's more important to be able to let your heart break than to be able to meditate for eight hours,

But you could meditate for eight hours as a way of helping you get to the point of allowing your heart to break.

But it's the innocence of being able to let your heart break that lets God come in.

Some of us are so tricky,

It's hard to let God in,

And I have enormous compassion for you.

And I know the Creator will find a way to you anyway.

And some of you are feeling like you're almost wanting to give up on yourselves,

And don't.

Just take refuge in the Buddha.

Take refuge in Amma.

Take refuge in your soul energy.

Refuge in the love that is the source of everything.

Refuge in your higher awareness.

Right.

Stop trying to figure stuff out.

Take refuge.

Like a little child who's just scared,

They just don't know what to do.

All they want to do is run to their mom,

Run to their dad.

Just take refuge.

Just take refuge and let your heart break.

Or observe yourself having trouble letting your heart break.

It's all okay.

You're very,

Very beautiful.

I'm seeing your beauty.

All of you.

All of you.

I'm seeing you that you're surrounded by grace.

Yeah.

Right.

I'm seeing this energy that you all,

To some degree,

Have allowed in.

And it's going to work in you.

It will work in you.

It's the most powerful thing in the universe.

It will work in you.

It will have an impact on your thoughts and your feelings,

Your body.

It is pretty impossible to come to these sad sayings and not gradually grow.

You would have to try really hard.

Okay.

And who would do that?

Who would want to do that?

That's it.

That's it.

And there's a movement.

I can feel it in that you're wanting to share your love more.

You're wanting to share love more.

That's it.

That's it.

Some of you are feeling that more.

Uh-huh.

Wanting to share it.

That's the answer.

It's very accelerating to share.

Alma says,

Real selfless service,

Which is giving from your soul energy,

Is more accelerating than meditation.

Yeah.

That's it.

Some of you are feeling some peace.

That's it.

That's it.

You know,

If you just feel your broken heart fully,

Don't push it away.

Don't force anything.

Don't rush anything.

Just walk around maybe for days and days with a broken aching heart.

It will heal into peace and a higher vibration.

I promise you.

You know,

If you're steering towards God,

It will heal into this higher vibration.

If you're not thinking about God,

Then broken hearts just kind of end up going into despair,

You see.

If you're not steering on that,

If you're not in the spiritual journey,

It will tend to just lead to despair.

But if you're like coming to Satsang,

But if you're like coming to Satsangs like this,

It will heal into peace and a higher vibration.

Yeah.

It just will.

Right.

That's good.

You got that.

That's it.

That's it.

Truly,

You know,

If somebody doesn't want to allow that,

They will not want to come to the Satsangs.

So if you're coming to the Satsangs,

You will heal into more truth.

Yeah,

More peace.

And then you'll go,

Oh,

I'm getting it.

I'm doing it.

Yeah,

That's it.

That's it.

It's a very kind of personal process in a way.

It's kind of like very just your body,

Your emotions,

Your feelings,

You know,

Just being with,

Being with,

Letting your heart break.

And your heart will get bigger.

Even letting your heart break that you've made the same mistake over and over again.

I would do that.

My heart would break with,

Oh,

I'm doing it again.

We can,

For those,

I'm happy to go a little longer.

So,

You know,

If you have to leave,

Please just go ahead.

But if anybody would like to ask any questions or make any comments,

I want you to have enough time to be able to speak fully.

Okay,

Laura.

Yeah.

Yeah,

You got to unmute yourself,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

Laura,

Can you unmute yourself?

I can't hear you.

Okay.

There.

Okay.

Yeah.

Hi,

Everybody.

I'm Pramasutra.

Thank you.

Because you've explained what's been happening this week.

Something,

Well,

I have a lot of brain fog from having COVID a couple of times.

My,

It's not working less and less.

And my computer,

Somebody,

It got a virus and I can't access Amma's live program every day on my computer.

My heart,

My heart broke.

Right.

It would.

Yeah.

Because I can,

I can only see her on my phone.

And I can't watch the replays on my phone.

I used to watch or listen to the replays throughout the day.

And now I can't do that.

And I miss it.

But what's happening,

There are these two birds that come and sit right outside my window all the time.

Like Amma's saying,

It's okay.

I'm right here anyway.

That's right.

And what you said about the stores,

The doctors are no help.

My insurance is no help.

I just go sitting on the flat.

Yeah.

And,

And say,

I can't even remember what day it is.

I need you to figure this out.

Right.

That's it.

That's it.

It's the most powerful thing you could do.

And,

You know,

Laura,

You keep doing that.

It doesn't matter whether,

Like,

You know,

I know that you have this illness affecting your head.

It's like,

You keep taking refuge in Amma,

And you will keep evolving.

And it doesn't matter what your head is doing.

Well,

What's really neat is I've gotten connected with a person that I,

It's part of my self.

And they're reminding me that I'm not the mind and not the body.

Right.

It's such a gift.

Yeah,

Good.

Yeah,

Good.

Okay,

So keep taking refuge in Amma.

It's the most powerful thing you can do.

And thank you for speaking.

Thanks,

Laura.

Thank you.

And many,

Many blessings.

Yeah.

This is such a powerful group.

Thank you.

Yeah.

And thank you.

Yeah.

Is there anybody else who wants to speak or say anything?

Hi,

Masuda.

With Ani,

Yeah?

Sweetie?

Hi.

The whole time listening,

I feel called to speak,

Because I.

.

.

Yeah,

I really identify with what you're saying today,

Because I feel great.

I see I had the screen on,

But I can't see everybody who's got their camera on.

And to offer encouragement,

Since we had our session a couple weeks ago,

Where you lifted the weight off my shoulders and opened my heart.

And the very next day,

I had a massage that went so deep and kept moving that energy.

Right.

And I was a zombie for a day,

Because I was in between.

Right.

Right.

And since then,

I feel different.

And then just Thursday,

So just two days ago,

We had a very safe satsang.

We're working with nonviolent communication skills in a very,

Very deep way.

Right.

And for me,

Some sadness came up,

But I was so happy to finally get that deep.

Right.

And it wasn't even.

.

.

It felt so good.

It wasn't.

.

.

And after our meeting,

The more of it came up,

And I went straight for darshan that evening.

And it wasn't even this huge thing.

It just did what it did,

And I didn't judge it.

That's it.

Was I holding back?

And it's just,

Ah,

I got to that vulnerable pace,

And I'm feeling vulnerability in my heart,

And I feel so good.

I've got my shoulders back.

Right.

I sit so much more easily on the floor,

Straight back,

Without moving,

The evening program here in Amritsar.

Okay,

So you can sit longer.

Right,

You can stay still longer.

That's it.

Yeah,

Good.

And my body is open,

So that when I put my shoulders back,

I don't have this pain between my shoulders.

It's been there for so long.

Yeah.

And I know you dumped that part of your ego.

Like,

You really wanted to let it go,

And you did.

And that habit of thinking,

Again,

You guys,

That the journey's on your shoulders.

It's not.

That was Bhavani's,

You know.

This is where we get stuck.

It's like I'm doing it.

Yeah.

It's wonderful.

It's like blessings to you,

Sweetie.

You know,

That's it.

That's it,

You guys.

It's like you get that you're loved,

Right,

Bhavani?

You get that you're loved,

And you can have your feelings,

And it's all okay.

Yep.

Yeah,

And your trust.

I can feel it.

Your trust has gone way up.

Yay.

You said,

I failed to mention,

You said one thing in our first session,

I think it was,

That your true self is so much more beautiful and interesting than the facsimile you've created.

Right.

I really,

That went so deep.

I really felt that.

Yes,

That's who I wanted to be allowed to be,

To be able to be for such a long time.

And I finally feel,

I keep reminding myself,

It's safe to be me.

It's safe to feel vulnerable.

It's safe to,

Everything,

When I feel something coming up,

I tell myself,

It's safe to be that or do that or whatever it is.

And it feels good,

And then I can relax and,

Oh,

It's actually okay.

That's it.

It's,

That's,

This is just incredibly fulfilling to hear this.

Bhavani.

Yeah.

It's like the meaning of my life.

Yeah.

I wanted just to share,

To bear witness to the amazingness,

Awesomeness that is this craze that is happening.

Yeah.

Happening.

Yeah,

It's happening.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's safe to feel good.

Yeah.

And remember,

It's like,

It can be tough for a few weeks or a few months before a breakthrough like this,

Right?

You look like a million dollars.

You look actually like,

You actually look much more beautiful.

And,

You know,

I don't flatter.

I mean,

You do.

You look like kind of an Italian,

You know,

When they drew women in the 18th century,

Painted women.

Yeah,

Like,

That's it.

Well,

My,

Thank you for your testimonial about just this process.

And it's all,

It's Amma's grace,

You know?

Buddha's grace.

And we just go,

Me too.

You just go,

Let it come off your shoulders.

That's it.

And be patient with yourselves,

You guys,

If it's still on your shoulders.

Okay?

Just be patient.

That's it.

Oh,

Thank you.

Thank you for all of you who've spoken.

I'm just,

I feel blessed.

Yeah,

Thank you.

Okay.

Michael,

I want to ask you how your week went.

Well,

It was beautiful,

Actually.

You know,

I'm almost gonna cry.

I guess that says it all.

I didn't expect this.

But,

You know,

I really felt,

You know,

A close connection to Amma,

To God,

To my soul,

To light.

And,

You know,

Sometimes it's more,

Sometimes less.

And,

But it feels nice.

And I,

You know,

I know there's more.

Okay,

Wait a sec,

Wait a sec.

I left you with,

From last week,

I was saying,

You know,

Start every day with giving it to the Creator.

And did you do that?

And how did it go?

Yeah,

I did.

And sometimes it was easier,

Sometimes not so.

But like I say,

I just felt that connection.

And I felt like a weight was,

You know,

A weight was off my shoulders.

And.

Right,

Good.

Yeah,

It was.

But it wasn't only that,

It was that connection.

It's almost like,

You know,

It opened me more for more connection.

Yeah.

And it was great because you got a little bit exposed.

Your ego got a little exposed.

And when our egos are exposed,

We shift into more truth.

We,

We,

We,

We surrender.

We often help to be exposed.

Okay.

And Michael,

As you were talking,

I saw this snake leave your heart.

It's very interesting.

Yeah.

And this is a purifying thing that I saw.

This will help purify you and keep you really straight,

Straight,

Straight.

Because you've got,

You've got a wonderful heart in there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

You've got a really good heart and you don't have to protect yourself or be tricky or anything.

You can just be yourself.

Yeah.

And I'm really pleased that you're feeling more.

Yeah.

Right.

Good.

And just,

Just keep feeling.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh,

Thorsten,

Did you want to,

Did you want to,

To speak?

Yeah.

I had a short question,

A bit short,

I don't know.

Let's see.

I was wondering the whole satsang when you talked about taking refuge in,

In Amma,

In Buddha.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Would you say that's more or less similar or the same to the concept of surrender or is that surrender or what's the difference?

Okay.

So your question is from the head.

I know.

Yeah.

And so good,

No good.

It's not a bad thing that it's from your head.

It's just,

I don't want to answer because I don't want to leave my heart to go up to my head to answer your question.

I think you know exactly.

Right.

And I think,

Thorsten,

That you're going to find yourself surrendering,

Particularly over the next three weeks.

I can see this.

I can see you very clearly.

You are surrendering to your heart.

It's going to be at least three weeks process.

It's just going to happen.

It's like you're all,

It's like you're all out of tricks.

It's like,

You know,

And you've lost your mom and you're all out of tricks and you're just going to end up surrendering into your heart,

Particularly in this next three weeks.

And I feel like you're going to say some very nice things to me at some point.

I see your heart,

Man.

You know,

I see your very good heart.

Yeah.

And we're going to be talking on the Zoom soon,

I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we'll go from there.

Is there anything you want to say further or comment or?

No,

Not necessary.

I already say very beautiful things about you.

Don't worry.

I'm teasing you.

This surrender,

This surrender into your heart is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's actually in a way what you've wanted your whole life.

Yeah.

Very true.

Very true.

And Thorsten,

You're going to be doing it.

It's like,

You know,

When I see it,

Even if your ego argues with it,

If I see it,

Man,

It's like it's a done deal.

Look,

It's going to happen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

You know,

For kind of a.

Oh,

Is there anybody else?

Is there?

Is there somebody else who needs to speak?

Yeah.

And there's no demand.

Remember.

Yeah.

Hello,

Sweetie.

Just want to say thanks.

And be patient.

It's very apt for me today.

This week.

In fact,

Two children before I came up for satsang,

They were trying to be patient,

Be patient.

And I was like,

I need to hear those words.

And then you've shared them.

And.

Yeah,

I'm feeling very lost at the moment.

OK.

Right.

OK,

Good.

I mean,

Good that you put words to it.

We get lost in our heads.

When we come to our hearts,

We that we stop feeling lost.

So just keep taking refuge in Allah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I can feel this hollowness.

It's a.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Yeah,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Let your heart break.

That's it.

That's it.

Just let your heart break.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

That's it.

That's it.

When we feel this is our grief,

When we feel this grief at.

Our disconnection to love.

We connect up.

And often we don't feel safe enough.

To feel it.

So I,

The whole point of these sad things is we become,

We feel safe enough.

And there's,

I just want to just give a shout out to Jonathan.

Or Benjamin,

Sorry,

Benjamin.

Hello,

Sweetheart.

Nothing.

Yeah,

So how are you?

You don't have to be any better.

Okay,

No demand.

I feel like I can breathe.

Right.

And I feel a bit sick.

Right,

Nausea?

Yeah.

Okay,

So that is you're clearing a fear of embodying your divinity.

Okay,

You're clearing a fear of embodying your true Amma nature.

Okay.

Yeah,

This is all good.

We're scared of getting bigger.

We get nausea.

Often we will get nausea just as we're moving.

We're letting go of being,

Of our alienation.

And we're moving into truth.

And you can feel intense nausea.

But it's just passing.

You can take an anti,

A Tums,

You know,

One of those pills to make your stomach feel better.

No,

Really.

Yeah,

Thank you for the advice.

Appreciate it.

We don't have to suffer at all.

But I'll tell you,

It's,

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

President Obama walked around with indigestion for a lot of his presidency,

He said.

A lot of,

You know,

That feeling of nausea.

And I thought,

Geez,

I wish I had been able to just work with him for 10 minutes to help him through that so he could shift into truth more,

Rather than feeling,

Getting indigestion for his presidencies.

Do you know,

Lots of us are stuck,

Right?

We're stuck right at that point of separation.

We just need a little bit of help through it to bond with our true nature.

This will help you through separation to bond with your true nature.

Yes.

Right.

Okay.

How do you feel right now?

How's the nausea?

It's there.

It's kind of moving.

I feel like in my belly in different places,

But my throat,

It's,

Yeah,

It's kind of,

Yeah,

It's moving places.

No,

No,

It's part of the same complex.

Yeah,

It'll be,

You're scared to embody your divinity,

So you're scared to speak from your divinity.

Okay.

All this clears,

You guys,

It just clears very organically.

Just notice,

Let your heart break,

Notice your physical symptoms,

Keep giving them to Amma.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

There's a lot more strength and power wanting to come in,

Bethan,

And you don't know how to allow it,

But that's okay.

You will be brought to it.

I can feel it.

In fact,

This is helping to set it in motion.

And if you're uncomfortable,

Just be with it.

You guys,

We all want to be enlightened,

And it is an uncomfortable process.

It's not easy.

Yeah,

But you can just be kind of accepting of it.

Yeah.

Accepting of the nausea,

The headaches.

Yeah,

Right.

I told you my joints hurt for three months,

Every joint in my body,

And after that,

I was much more flexible physically and mentally.

This is all the stuff we usually overlook.

Yeah.

Okay.

I want to bring you back,

You guys,

To taking refuge in the divine.

Take refuge in Amma,

The Buddha.

Yeah,

That's it.

Refuge in your true nature.

That's it.

That's it.

Even if you're feeling vulnerable or nauseated,

Yeah,

Or you've got pressures in your body,

Or you're feeling lonesome,

It's all okay.

Just keep taking refuge,

And that divine energy will solve everything over time,

And you will get a re-education in how to be a human being.

There's a message coming for,

Please don't have such expectations of yourselves,

Okay?

Just be where you are,

Okay?

Okay.

Like,

A three-year-old cannot be a 16-year-old,

But a three-year-old will just become distressed if he or she tries to be beyond a three-year-old.

Just be where you are.

You might feel very far away from being enlightened,

Or even very far away from feeling true.

Maybe you don't feel that you're being true.

Maybe you don't feel even very safe or happy.

Just be there,

And take refuge in the Buddha,

In Amma,

In your true nature.

And,

You know,

For those of you who've had,

You know,

Difficulties with your heads,

The way your heads are operating,

That's a good thing.

It'll make more room for your heart.

Yeah.

It's true,

Though.

It's true.

Most of our problems come from our heads.

Okay,

You guys,

It's ten to seven,

So,

Seven,

So,

This,

All my blessings to you.

Just,

And this really,

Really powerful love is coming to you.

And you took in,

All of you took in this deeper,

This deeper love.

Okay,

All of you did.

You took it in very deeply.

Just be patient.

Just be patient,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay,

My beloveds,

Blessings,

Blessings.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you.

Yeah,

Thank you.

Yeah.

Reviews

This was a little bit too strong and mature for me. It had some good ideas too. I like the idea of looking for refuge too. Thank you so much teacher

🫶🏼🩷💚💛🩵🦋🍀🌸🧚
Very Grateful for these Satsangs🙏🏻