How Do I Come Into The Light?
At this time in human history, there is the possibility of an evolutionary shift into a love-based, rather than fear-based life. But how do we open the door to divine love when we are so conditioned into alienation and trauma? Premasudha says we choose through our thoughts, words and actions. Simple internal actions, such as inwardly giving our day over to the Creator each morning, can help steer our psyche to bond with the divinity inside. Just as Premasudha was giving this satsang, she was graced by a visit from an Archangel who said: Remind these dear Ones that teachers can only point the way. Always, the truth is within. Always, the key is to look inside, rather than outside, for answers. What a bonus for all the participants! This satsang, like all the others, is full of both abundant grace and practical information.
Transcript
I'm asking for grace,
For Amma's grace,
For all of us.
You know,
Yeah,
You know,
Fresh from the ashram,
I have to say,
It's pretty good,
Feels pretty good.
As I'm coming on with you guys,
I can feel that there,
Some of you are feeling desperate.
There are a couple of you,
More than a couple,
Feeling quite desperate.
So it's okay.
Like,
I'm just going to,
Just got you in an embrace,
You know.
It's,
You know,
It's good to be desperate sometimes.
It's,
Fear's coming up,
You know.
And it's coming up to be cleared.
It's a very uncomfortable.
So I have my arms around you.
It's just,
What I found is,
When I acknowledge people's feelings,
It's grounding for them.
It's just like,
When you acknowledge your own feelings,
You can become more grounded and self-accepting.
Yeah.
So it's like,
Yeah,
Today I've got the wind up.
I'm a little scared.
It's okay.
This too will pass.
It all passes.
Right.
It's desperation and a sense of loss.
And just being with you.
Right.
That's it.
Just being with you while you come more into your bodies.
More present in the moment.
That's it.
There's a very rich tapestry that's wanting to come today.
And not just in this,
But in your lives.
There's a rich tapestry of meaning that is wanting to be allowed in to your perspective,
To your bodies,
To your understanding.
Yeah.
I'm seeing this really beautiful woven tapestry,
Rich colors.
And it's all the meaning,
The bigger meaning of your lives.
No matter what you're going through right now,
This is the bigger meaning of your lives,
The bigger meaning behind whatever challenge you're facing.
And it's a beautiful,
Rich tapestry.
Beautiful,
Rich tapestry.
I'm seeing it really clearly.
Right.
It's interesting.
There's a lot of emotional material coming up.
There's this shyness and people feeling not good enough.
And I just want to put a big embrace around all of you and your feelings,
Whatever they are.
It's just the state of the child,
Basically.
It's just the state of you in this moment.
Yeah.
And it's very acceptable.
You guys,
It's very acceptable.
You are very acceptable as you are,
No matter what's going on with you.
There is no way that you can be separate.
Even if you're feeling separate,
There's no way that you can be separate from me,
Amma,
Neera,
The creator,
Other people,
Mother Nature.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
You're part of Mother Nature.
How could you be separate?
That's it.
Okay.
Good.
Good.
Good.
And some of you are developing a sense of wonder.
That's good.
I gave a satsang here in Germany and the culmination was that everybody moved into a sense of wonder.
So there are things happening that is being experienced here in Germany and they are all,
How do I say,
It will be what's happening in the world.
It will be happening to all the people around me.
It is all our next steps.
Okay.
I'm going to talk about what's been happening in the satsangs because these are the next steps for all of us.
So notice how you feel about this and what I'm saying.
Just notice.
Okay.
You know,
One of the big things that's happening is there is a big doorway to grace opening or a big doorway to the creator.
A really big door.
This door,
Just at the pace that you wish it to happen,
Will take you into a much bigger understanding.
And one that includes the creator within you.
So in my work with people,
I'm always working with helping to open up to the true energy of their existence,
To who they are born to be,
To the truth of them,
Beyond this illusion.
And this door that's coming,
That's opening,
Is it's the biggest,
Most loving door,
Basically,
That I've ever experienced in working with people.
Okay.
So this means that you've earned it.
Okay.
It's true.
We get the doors to heaven that we pray for.
We get,
You know,
We get what we've earned.
That's interesting.
What we've earned.
Some of you are having trouble with that,
But don't worry about it too much.
You all deserve that.
And you know that we've gone from,
You know,
The Old Testament consciousness that had a,
You know,
Judging God.
We go to the New Testament consciousness,
Which has a comforting God,
The comforter of the New Testament.
That was the term they used.
Now,
With this shift that the human race is in,
We're into the beloved,
Loving mother.
Soft as a loving mother.
It's a quantum leap,
And it's a progression.
And this is part of what this door is open to,
The grace coming from an infinitely loving mother.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So I want to shine a light on some of the things that our conditioning does to us.
So we can,
Our conditioning can make us feel safer standing in front of a closed door,
Knowing it's full of light,
Knowing that all we have to do is reach out and open it.
But our conditioning might be more comfortable staying passive.
And I particularly want to put a flag here for women,
Because women,
We know a lot,
We intuit a lot,
And many of us have learned over the centuries to just zip it and pretend to be a lot less awake than we are.
It's like my own mother,
Who was just,
Was born psychic,
As an adult,
She turned her psychic ability off.
She just turned it off.
So she just,
She just numbed it and went down.
As an adult,
She turned her psychic ability off.
She just turned it off.
So she just,
She just numbed it and went down.
Okay.
Now this is going the other way.
This is opening and becoming more male and female.
When a man brings forward his feminine side,
He becomes,
He gets the whole deck.
He gets a new masculine strength.
And as I spoke before,
He becomes very able to be with any woman very deeply in distress.
He can be tough as nails and soft as a marshmallow.
All of it.
And I want to come back to women.
So with this door,
One of the things that you can do as you proceed is imagine door openings and turning and pulling the door open to light.
When I got stuck,
I used to imagine opening doors to light,
But the door,
I used to imagine opening doors to light.
But the door I'm talking about today,
It's actually a door that's opening all over the earth at this time.
It is a big door to transcendent knowledge and grace.
And it's open already.
And the light's shining on your bodies.
If you haven't gone through it yet,
The light is shining on your bodies.
So you're acclimatizing to it.
That's it.
There's no rush.
There's no rush.
And there's also,
I'm feeling as I'm speaking,
For some of you who might be hesitant about all this,
I'm feeling this level of protection coming from the universe.
This is my experience,
Is anybody who's walking into truth at this time gets a great deal of protection.
They don't even have to worry about it,
It just is given to them.
Even if you feel lost,
Even if you feel like you don't know what's going on,
Even if you feel lost,
Lonely,
And afraid,
You're still getting this protection.
It's like little kids don't know how well they're taken care of,
Okay?
It is exactly a reflection of what happens with our souls.
We don't know how well taken care of we are.
Little kids don't know the effort to get the food,
To earn the living,
To put a house over them,
To get them to school,
Find a reasonable school for them.
They don't know how well they're taken care of.
They just might experience that,
Oh,
It's a little scary going to kindergarten,
I'm all alone.
I'm all alone and being abandoned in kindergarten,
Okay?
But really it's the opposite.
The child's just adored and it's just the next step for the child.
It's the same with us.
We might feel really abandoned and alone,
But we're not.
It's the opposite.
The abandonment and feeling of separation is conditioning.
Okay,
So there's this big door opening,
And so again,
The red flag around,
Remember to open doors.
If you get stuck at all,
Open the door to light,
Just in your head.
Open the door to peace.
It's like steering your psyche.
There is this big door right now,
Okay?
One of the things that came up in the satsang was the injured child within,
And the phrase that was,
The injured child was running,
I would if I could,
But I can't.
Okay,
So I want to put another red flag there.
It's like that's how the child felt,
Helpless,
Powerless.
I would if I could,
But I can't.
The thing is,
What you do when you notice yourself feeling that way,
Or if you're telling yourself that,
If you can wake up enough out of your conditioning to pray about it and ask for a and ask for a way to be shown to you,
You will be.
That is what I built my whole life on,
Praying right in that,
When I had that feeling,
I would if I could,
But I can't.
There's no solution.
I'm stuck.
It's hopeless,
And I would pray.
Gradually,
The gray clouds would clear,
And I'd see a way forward.
There is always a way forward.
Always.
Okay,
So I'm getting this guidance coming.
It's like there's a figure appearing,
And the message is,
This figure is telling me to remind you that I am just telling you what you already know.
It's like you can't fool the angels.
Really,
You say to me with a smile,
Tell them that they already know this,
And to look inside more.
This is the grace I'm talking about.
Right,
And it's for you,
Too.
Okay.
It's got your name on it,
Too.
Please,
Please hear this.
Please hear this.
Yeah,
It belongs to you,
Too.
It's your birthright,
Too.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
Why not?
Why not?
Why delay it any longer?
That's it.
Okay,
Good.
That's it.
That's it.
There's a clearing around some of your base chakras.
That's it.
Base chakra is around survival,
And I used to get this,
Like a feeling,
A fear would come up that I could not survive in the world with this energy,
Living in truth.
I could not survive in this world.
That would be the fear,
And I would just keep praying about it,
Because we can't.
Thousands of people through history have lived in truth and survived.
There have been some that ran into some trouble in certain historical times,
But in this time,
Not bringing witches,
And there's nothing stopping us.
There's such chaos in the world that nobody cares,
Really,
What you're doing.
So,
If you want to move into truth,
Move into truth.
Why not?
In fact,
It's getting trendy.
You know,
Who knew?
Does anybody have a question or comments about what I've been talking about or anything else?
Maxie?
Yeah?
Go ahead.
Maxie,
Can you unmute yourself?
I don't know.
Yes,
Now it works.
Good.
Hello,
Guys.
Hello,
Pramasutha.
Yeah.
I wanted to share what I experienced this morning,
And it was kind of,
I've been like,
With my daughter,
The 11-year-old daughter,
I've been talking to you about it.
Right,
Right.
And this morning,
It was really extreme.
I was,
She was,
Like,
Snuggling the cat and kissing it,
Full of love,
And just,
I don't know how to describe it,
But it was,
It was just,
It was really extreme.
I was,
She was,
Like,
Snuggling the cat and kissing it,
Full of love,
And just,
And inside me,
It was just,
Like,
All this disgust coming up about how she could give so much love to a cat,
And I was really,
That was a lot to coming up,
And I just tried to witness it,
But it was really,
Really hard to see,
Or I guess,
To see how I judge the love,
Or how I don't allow it to myself,
And I was,
Yeah,
I wanted to talk to you about it,
Because it was,
Because I've noticed it for,
Like,
A couple weeks or months before,
And I would tell her to stop snuggling with the cat or something,
Please stop it,
And this morning,
I was just really noticing it,
And it was,
Oh,
My God,
It was so intense,
The feeling,
Yeah.
Right,
Right.
So,
Yeah.
Taboo about loving.
That's what I talk about.
We're raised to be alienated from the love within us.
It's interesting that you're so rattled by this.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah,
It must be shocking for you.
It was,
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah,
It was,
Yeah.
Right.
And I even remember that,
I mean,
It must have been,
Like,
I don't know,
Almost 18 or 20 years ago,
I remember telling to my ex-husband,
We were fresh in love,
And I was telling him,
Oh,
Man,
I cannot see those freshly in love couples kissing in the underground.
I was really,
Like,
Feeling this disgust about it.
I was like,
Oh,
My God,
And it came up today,
And I was like,
Okay,
This must be deep,
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
It's good you're seeing it.
I mean,
Yeah,
I mean,
It's sad,
Sweetie.
It is,
Yes.
Right.
I mean,
Yeah,
I mean,
If this is our state of our culture,
That we get repulsed when our child shows love.
Right.
I mean,
Right?
It's really brave of you to admit this.
Yes.
Right.
Yes,
Yes,
Because it was so,
So strong.
I was just like,
Oh,
My goodness.
You know,
Carl Jung,
In Carl Jung's thought,
The cat is a symbol of the feminine.
So,
On one level,
It could be,
Do you see what I mean?
Her love for the feminine?
Mm-hmm.
Okay,
I'm going a little intellectual,
But you're so triggered.
There must be something deeper going on,
Right?
Because cuddling a cat,
Right?
I know,
I know.
Good for you for speaking this.
Yeah,
Yeah,
Yeah.
Yeah,
Yeah,
Yeah.
You know,
I guess,
You know,
I'd love to make it better.
I can tell you that it's a big,
You know,
It's pointing to the deeper,
To a deeper level of wounding,
Right,
That will come up to be uncovered.
Mm-hmm.
And as it's uncovered,
You will no longer feel that anymore.
Yeah.
You'll celebrate it.
Yeah,
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've been pushing it down,
Or not really,
Like,
I've noticed it,
But I wasn't,
I didn't want to go into it.
But this morning,
It was so intense.
I was like,
Okay,
This is really coming up so strong,
It needs to be looked at,
Or wants to be.
And this is also when I talk about,
There's this big door to the Creator being opened to the human,
To our human consciousness.
We've got this bigger capacity of love coming in.
So the first,
You know,
Often the first response to bigger love is,
No!
So this is like,
No!
Okay?
Okay.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Wow.
Did you say anything to your daughter?
No.
No,
Before I would,
Before I said something,
I would say,
Like,
Oh,
Please,
Amina,
Stop it.
Or I would go,
I would,
I don't know,
I would say something to stop her.
And this morning,
I was just kind of watching it.
And I was like,
Yeah.
I think you should say something to your daughter about that.
Your,
Hold on.
Say something to your daughter,
Just to acknowledge that,
You know,
You're doing some clearing,
And that there's really nothing wrong with her hugging the cat.
Yeah.
I mean,
I told her,
Like,
Afterwards,
I'm having a lot of anger and disgust coming up,
But I didn't point out that it's this,
And that,
And that,
And that,
And that,
And that.
Disgust coming up,
But I didn't point out that it's this situation.
You know,
Maxi,
I think it's really around the,
How you feel about your true feminine nature.
Really.
I'm getting this big,
You know,
The female face of God energy,
That the,
You're moving into this deeper embrace of your own feminine energy,
And it's hard for you right now.
And that that's,
This is the key to,
It's why you,
This upset you.
Oh,
Sweetie.
There's something more here,
Too.
Hold on.
Okay.
You know,
This is a bit,
It's the same kind of level of button pressing as what you've raised.
I remember seeing my friend's small three-year-old was sitting at the top of the stairs,
And she was sitting,
She's three years old,
She was sitting cross-legged,
So all her bows,
And as I came up the stairs,
My first feeling was a total revulsion to her feminine,
And I was shocked by it,
And I thought,
What is the matter with me?
But it was the truth of my feeling,
And it kind of reminds me of kind of what you're talking about.
It's kind of that level.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So,
It's good it's come up,
And you've spoken it,
And it's like,
It's just,
Just need to give it over to the creator,
And you're growing out of this.
This takes a lot of courage to raise this,
Maxie.
Yeah,
Right.
So,
Many blessings for you,
And you guys may,
All of us,
Like,
Just send Maxie love,
You know,
And you just send her love with this,
You know,
And that's on the back for courage,
And it's like,
This is what we're like,
You know,
We're sort of so close to being Looney Tunes,
In a way,
You know,
Even with our important jobs,
And all the stuff we do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And may it get better really,
Really quickly.
Okay.
Okay.
Actually,
That helped you,
Didn't it?
Yes,
It helped.
Yes.
Right.
It's still like,
My belly is still like,
But I feel,
It's,
Yeah,
It helped.
You know,
The,
There's something really healing about sassing,
There's something really healing about self-exposure in a healing group.
It's just stunningly accelerative,
But it has to be a loving healing group,
You know,
And this is that.
So,
Thank you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thanks,
Sweetie.
Hmm.
Does anybody else have any comments,
Or questions,
Or,
You know,
Something to be said?
Shivamayee,
Do you?
Yeah,
Please,
Go ahead.
Good morning.
It's always a struggle about this true self thing,
You know,
I got married 50,
Well,
Almost 50 years ago,
And never really wanted to,
You know,
And I've lived this whole life in this role that I didn't see as,
As mine.
So,
I'm just,
I'm just,
I'm just,
I'm just,
That I didn't see as,
As mine.
So,
When people talk about true self,
I've always got this idea that I screwed it up somehow,
That I wasn't,
You know,
I read this quote by Jim Carrey today about your,
It's funny,
Just right before this,
About,
You know,
Being who you are,
And you hear so many messages like that.
And it just gets confusing,
You know,
Where is,
What is it,
You know,
I mean,
It is,
I mean,
I just got confusion over my life path.
And,
And I think what every,
Nobody's life turns out the way they think it's going to turn out,
You know.
So,
Just if you could comment on that.
Okay,
First of all,
You know,
Alma says that our lives have already happened,
Right?
And sages will also,
Other sages say that,
And they also say that if it's happened,
It had to happen this way.
Okay,
The way it's happened.
What I noticed is that you're stepping out of your,
Is that you're stepping out of your,
Of the present moment where your power is,
And you're going into regret of the past,
Or,
You know,
Trying to fix the,
You know,
Worrying about the past.
It's like you,
You have the present moment right now.
And my experience of you,
Shivamayi,
Is that you are accelerating spiritually in a marketable way,
In a market way,
Like significantly.
Do you understand this?
You don't feel it?
I think I do.
Yeah,
I have noticed,
Yeah,
It's funny you mentioned this,
Because I have noticed feeling more sincere love,
Even from my spouse,
And for,
I feel like when I'm hugging people now,
It's more sincere.
I do feel like I feel more love coming from me.
Yeah,
I see and feel it from you.
So,
You know,
I mean,
You've got this present moment,
And,
You know,
I think this is not unusual for women,
You know,
Your age,
It's probably my age,
Not,
We're not too different,
Is sometimes like people just got married to somebody who,
Just because he was there.
I was talking to somebody who married,
Who had two suitors,
And she asked her mother which one she should marry.
And she married the one her mom said to.
And I'm like,
That's just,
You know,
It's like she,
She wasn't feeling,
Obviously,
She wasn't feeling deeply about either one of them.
Do you see?
I think this is not that unusual for when it was a time where everybody got married.
Yeah.
It was expected.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And,
You know,
You are right.
It is just,
You talked about greasing the monkey pole.
I was at,
Somebody said that the other day about the occupying the mind.
I read it.
It was a thing about,
You got to give the mind something to do.
It was going to eat you up if you didn't give it something to do.
So the guy had to do all sorts of things like clean this,
Clean that,
And it got all of its jobs done quickly.
So it decided to just grease a pole and have it go to the top,
And it couldn't,
You know.
So I guess these thoughts really are just something to occupy my mind,
You know.
Just keep it busy,
You know.
This,
These deep,
I guess,
Until it came up like this deep feeling of I don't do,
I haven't done it right.
You know,
My life,
I haven't done my life right.
But I,
You know,
But it's all thoughts to keep my mind occupied,
I think,
Is what you're saying.
I just think this is your ego coming up to be cleared,
Actually.
That feeling of not doing it right is the signature of the ego,
Okay.
And giving you a bad time for not doing it right,
This is so much trying to push you back into the prison of the same old low self-esteem and feeling you've done it right.
Yeah,
Blah,
Blah,
Blah,
Blah.
So it's just watch it.
Yeah,
I mean,
Just watch it.
And,
And,
And it's,
It's just the ego.
I mean,
I mean,
If you really go,
Like,
If you really think that it's already happened,
So you didn't have a choice in who you married,
Really,
What would you do with that?
I mean,
If you really took it seriously,
That your soul had already decided you were going to marry this man,
What,
How would you feel about that?
If you really took that seriously?
Much better.
Yeah,
I'd give myself a break.
It's off your shoulders.
Oh,
It's the way it had to be.
It's,
It's more like,
How do you want to spend this,
This morning?
How do you want to spend today?
Yeah,
Hold on.
There's something,
You know,
It's interesting,
Shivamayee.
I'm seeing,
Yeah,
You know,
It's like,
Again,
I'm going to come back to this bigger door opening.
It's like door opening.
It's like your psyche is preparing you to make spiritual expansion past your old self definitions.
Okay,
So I'm seeing an outline in you of,
Like,
Where you thought you,
Who you thought you were.
It's kind of an outline.
I'm Shivamayee.
I'm this woman married to this man,
Blah,
Blah,
Blah.
And it's as if this light inside you is wanting to grow right beyond that,
To sort of expand beyond your skin more,
To remind you that you're a divine being,
That you extend beyond your skin and your conditioned personality.
You're more than that.
And see,
This is,
The ego is feeling this activation.
And so your ego is going,
You did it wrong,
You did it wrong.
So it's just coming up to be clear.
So just stand tall with this.
Like,
You're on the right track,
Shivamayee.
You are on the right track in your life,
Totally.
Thank you.
Yeah,
And just watch this.
And,
You know,
We could check in next week,
And we can see how you're doing with it.
Okay,
Because I'd like to support you into this moving right beyond your skin a little bit more.
You see,
You guys,
When we really get that we extend beyond our skin,
That we are more than just these bodies,
These mind-body complexes with all the particular psychology and thoughts.
We're more than that.
We extend way beyond our skin.
We're actually everything.
But the main thing that,
You know,
Most people don't get is that they extend beyond their skin,
That they're not just these limited human beings with a particular past.
There's this big doorway to the Creator.
It's just this beautiful,
Beautiful golden light coming in,
This beautiful,
Beautiful golden light coming in,
And it's just streaming,
Streaming in on you guys,
Totally.
And,
You know,
There's another energy in it,
Which is,
It's a little bit,
You know,
Do you want this?
Do you want it?
Do you want it?
There's a little bit of no-nonsense to it.
It's sort of like,
If you want it,
Come through.
Just come through,
Or let the light shine on your cells of your body.
Yeah.
You know,
I don't know what to say to you in the sense of,
You know,
The call is getting louder and louder.
You know,
When Amma called just before the tsunami in 2004,
It was,
I don't know,
Christmas Day or Christmas Eve or whatever,
And she knew that something really drastic was going to happen,
And she called to all the neighboring.
She put out a big call,
Children,
Come to the ashram now.
And,
You know,
The ones who came lived.
Yeah,
They lived.
We make our choices,
Yeah.
Yeah.
See,
That's confusing,
Because we make our choices,
And then it's already happened.
It's like,
That's confusing.
Yeah,
Because you think you're a human individual,
And you are on one level,
But really you're your soul that's already made the choice.
It's like,
That's what I was going to say with the tsunami.
It's like,
The souls that really wanted to live,
They came to the ashrams.
The souls that didn't want to live,
They didn't come.
It's okay.
You guys are okay.
I'm not wanting to alarm you,
But it's like,
This is a true reality work,
You know.
It's like with my son.
When I heard he had leukemia,
I could have sided with believing the doctors,
You know.
But I sided with his life.
You know,
There's part of you,
You guys do not want to hear this.
Like,
I can hear,
I can really feel it.
You guys do not want to deal with this,
At all.
Many of you don't.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Listen,
I've joked with Anna in the course of the satsangs.
I've talked about Anna and I and the push-pull that we've gone through as I'm going like,
Anna,
You have to get this.
You have to get this.
And Anna's going,
I don't want to get it.
I don't want to get it.
And I go,
Anna,
Your ego wants me to just dance around you and give you a lot of attention.
And so that you can stay the same.
And I can't do that.
If you want to stay with me,
You have to open up to your higher intelligence.
Yeah.
And then Anna goes,
Thank God,
Premasuddha.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Anna,
Isn't that right?
Yes,
That is exactly it.
So,
Yeah,
I could,
In the last days,
I could feel a lot of shame about I was thinking,
I was feeling about the things you said to me and about this shaking me and and I didn't want to be like ruddled and everything.
But it makes so much sense what it helped me into,
Into more love for myself and more self-respect.
And I know exactly this is what my soul wants me to do.
And you're the one bringing it to me.
And so I'm,
I'm endlessly grateful for that.
And yeah,
And it took me through a lot of,
You know,
Dark feelings and fear and self-disgust.
And yeah,
So it's,
It's a ride,
But it's,
It's worth it.
And now I'm feeling,
I'm feeling more,
A little bit more myself,
My true self,
My,
I can,
I can love myself a little bit more.
And yeah.
A lot more.
A lot more.
A lot more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's,
I feel it's all working in my body.
It's very intense and it's all settling.
And yeah,
But it's such a relief not to be my,
My own firing squad,
Shooting myself.
You know,
This is what it felt like.
And yeah,
This is,
Can you say that?
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
I know this is difficult,
You guys.
I can feel it.
Yeah.
I'm just going to wait for a minute and see what comes.
Right.
Okay.
You see,
When there's a loosening of the bounds of ego,
It's very uncomfortable and the ego fuses.
But what happens is life opens up.
It opens up internally and it opens up externally.
And if one doesn't put up with the discomfiture,
You don't get the nirvana.
Yeah.
And there's,
There's nothing that can be done about this.
It's,
It's,
It's the gig.
It's the gig.
Yeah.
And to be with you all deeply for a while.
You know,
Anna just did a satsang,
We had a satsang I think last night or yesterday and then another one today.
So the,
And Anna translated.
So the extent of the emotional material she went through her own and she was translating for everybody that was shifting.
It was very intense.
Yeah.
You know what I guess I want to say to you guys?
It's like,
Don't be scared of intensity.
Don't be scared of fear.
Don't be scared of rage.
Don't be scared of change.
Don't be scared of anything.
It's like your soul triumphs.
You know,
You get brought through these changes.
You,
You know,
It's like the seed has to sprout,
Put its roots down,
You know,
Find the water.
We have to put roots down,
You know,
Find the water.
We have to put our roots down,
Find the creator and then build on the,
Build on the energy of the creator to become who we're born to be.
We,
We sprout and we're just little weedy sprouts at first and then we get stronger and stronger and,
And blossom and,
And finally bear fruit.
And we do this psychologically.
And it can feel very intense and everything,
But it's nothing to be scared of.
Yeah.
And it's nothing to be avoided.
It is life with a capital L.
Yeah.
It's like if we can just settle in and be ourselves and feel our feelings and there's a permission to be yourselves that you are all wanting to receive.
Okay.
Okay.
This is it.
The permission to be more deeply yourselves.
You are all really wanting that.
That is why you're attracted to this one.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
This is good.
This is a very unifying characteristic about all of you.
You all want permission,
Deeper permission to be yourselves.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you've got it.
You've got it.
You've got it.
You've got it.
And you know,
There's a great joy to feeling emotions and feelings and receiving your perceptions that you knew,
You know,
That maybe you've been repressing your whole life.
And you take the repression off and they come up.
There's kind of a joy to,
Oh good,
At least this is moving now.
I'm dealing with it.
It's moving.
I'm facing this.
I'm doing it.
Ah,
Might not always be comfortable,
But I'm on the move.
I'm on the move.
And I can just be myself because you guys,
You can't be anything other than yourselves.
How could you be not yourself?
If you try not to be yourself,
Other people will see the stuff you're trying to hide.
You see,
We all see this stuff about each other.
We know.
We know.
We know exactly.
You know,
If you pay attention,
You can know exactly what's going on with another person,
No matter what they're saying.
It just shows all over them.
It shows in the color of the skin,
The posture,
The way they talk.
All the data is there.
Yeah.
We don't fool anybody.
You really want to be yourselves,
All of you.
All of you.
That is the big thing that unites you all.
And it's what I wanted,
Too.
So,
Imagine you can just be yourselves.
Oh,
Michael,
Please go ahead.
Hi,
Prevasuda.
Hi,
Everybody.
Nice to see you again.
Yeah.
You know,
I have a question.
You know,
When you talk about permission,
You know,
I feel when I'm alone or when I'm in a safe space like this,
I could really feel that permission,
You know,
To be patient and love myself.
But then I go out in the world,
And there's a lot of very unsafe spaces.
And there are times out there where that just,
You know,
That just disappears.
You know,
How can I,
I mean,
I don't know if there's,
I don't think there's anything I have to do.
But I guess I just wanted to say that,
That there's a big difference there for me,
And I'm just not there yet.
Say,
I don't want to be there yet.
Did you want me to say that?
Yep.
I don't want to be there yet.
Did you want me to say that?
Yep.
I don't want to be there yet.
Right.
Yeah,
To say,
I don't want to be true to myself.
I don't want to be true to myself.
Say,
It's too dangerous.
It's too dangerous.
Yeah,
That's what you really think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So,
When I'm out there,
I guess life will just stay the same.
Sorry.
I guess I know what to tell myself when I'm out there.
Pardon?
I guess I know what to tell myself when I'm out there.
I suppose,
You know,
I'm just trying to,
I'm just trying to understand.
Well,
I'm just trying not to have that happen anymore.
Yeah.
I know.
You're trying to,
Yeah.
Why don't you want it to happen anymore?
Because I want to be true to myself.
And if you were true to yourself,
What would happen?
Um,
I wouldn't be liked.
Yeah.
Right.
Maybe you think if you were true to yourself,
You'd say a lot of mean things to people.
I'm asking.
I suppose on the one hand,
That could be.
I think it's not the only thing.
I think,
I'm not sure.
I don't know what I think.
I know.
I know you don't.
Yeah,
I know you don't.
And I'll say,
I'm stuck.
I'm stuck.
Yeah.
Michael,
I think to get anywhere,
You're going to have to go deeper.
Okay?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm,
I want to feel into you for a minute.
You know,
I have to feel some more.
The things,
I have to feel some more.
You know,
Michael,
To do this,
You're going to have to bring your will in.
You're going to have to will to will the Creator's will.
And it's like,
You know,
If you really are serious about wanting to change,
Which,
And I say this with great respect,
I'm not 100% sure that you are.
Okay?
Bottom line.
Really?
Yeah.
But hearing this may actually help catalyze you to become more serious about it.
If you,
You know,
You wake up in the morning,
You give the day to God,
You think about,
This may be my last day of living.
And you go to work with that.
Okay?
And that is,
You know,
Putting it into practice,
Walking your talk.
You know,
Alma says,
You know,
Alma,
She says that most people come to her so that they'll feel happy,
Happier doing exactly what they're already doing.
Yeah.
No,
They don't really want to hear what she has to say or listen or make the effort to change.
They just want to be happier.
And of course,
They can't be if they're not,
You know,
We can't really become deeply happy unless we're moving into truth.
Hmm.
Yeah.
So,
I'd say,
You know,
Live it more,
Michael.
Like,
Put your will in there,
You know?
Yeah.
And remember what I said about the little child will say,
I would if I could,
But I can't.
That is the injured child,
Always.
You can just pray about it.
But,
You know,
Getting up in the morning,
Giving the day to the Creator,
And then pretending it's your last day on the earth.
Remember during the day,
Think if this is my last day on earth,
What would I say to these people?
How would I be with them?
Yeah.
Like,
Play around with it.
Like,
You see,
The teacher can't do this stuff for students.
It's you guys,
What you do with this,
How much you play with it,
How much you try things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I see Amma dropping some nectar in your heart right now.
She's got a little dropper.
Like,
When you're giving medicines to children,
Something that has a few drops,
She's putting a few drops of this nectar into your heart.
And it's not too much,
But it's just enough to help you.
Okay?
But not too much to overwhelm you.
Yeah.
But this is coming from Amma.
Yeah.
And may it help.
And,
You know,
Let me,
Yeah,
Let me know,
Like,
Next week,
How things went.
So,
It's like,
This is a process of taking responsibility.
It's like,
Give it a go,
See what it's like.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Thank you.
Okay,
Good.
Yeah.
Okay,
Good.
Tila-Chan,
Are you okay?
Dorsten?
Can I say something,
Pramila?
Oh,
Okay.
Yeah,
I didn't want to interrupt someone,
But.
.
.
Yeah,
No,
Go ahead.
Okay,
Hi.
Hi.
I feel like this is all very emotional.
And what I find really good is the guidance.
Because when you said,
We're responsible,
We make our choices,
It was like,
Oh,
That's such a pressure.
Now I have to make choices.
I want to be in nirvana.
But what if when I'm myself,
I'm not allowed to be there?
I make the wrong choices because I don't deserve to be there.
And then what you said in the beginning helped a lot,
Because you said it also has the door to the light,
Has your name on it.
So,
I saw the door,
And I saw my name,
And I opened it,
And it kind of feels like it tore my heart in two.
It was so,
Yeah,
I don't know,
It really touched me,
And it helped me so much to open that door and see that light.
Because without that door,
I just felt a lot of pressure.
And at the same time,
I'm standing next to me,
And knowing it's my ego in my head,
I know that's my ego holding me back and all of that.
But then it really helped to literally go there.
And yeah,
I can't explain it any better.
I know.
I know everybody feels the pressure.
But this is a very how-to spiritual training.
I mean,
I'm really training you to get past your ego.
And yeah,
You're going to be uncomfortable sometimes.
And the feeling of pressure is just disowned power.
If you're disowning your own power,
You will experience this pressure.
But if you do these things,
Like what I was saying to Michael,
If you get up in the morning and give the day to God,
To the Creator,
Or think,
Oh,
It's my last day on earth,
How would I be?
Like,
If you put it into practice,
And then what will happen is you'll feel the gift of the door,
Which is what you were talking about,
Right?
You will feel the gift of this training.
It's like,
Oh,
God,
I'm being freed.
I'm being freed up.
I can do this too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So,
This work requires each of you,
Like you work with yourselves,
You know,
And experiment.
Experiment.
Yeah.
And I say a lot of things over and over again.
And it's like,
Just pick up the things that make sense to you and experiment.
And you know,
If it gets too much,
You can not attend for a while.
You know,
You could break the circuit.
It's like,
If it's too much,
Break the circuit,
Don't attend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nobody says you have to.
Yeah.
Right.
You're good enough,
Saskia.
That's the biggest problem.
That feeling,
I'm not,
I don't deserve it,
You know,
That's the biggest.
So,
Just observe it.
Just observe this.
And it's not true.
You do.
You do deserve it.
And this is an ongoing training,
And it will gradually get better.
Gradually get better.
But you have to do it too,
Right?
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
Okay.
I can feel that you're opening the door more.
This is it.
And you're more peaceful.
You're more peaceful about receiving this love.
And,
You know,
There will be,
It will be uncomfortable,
Maybe.
You know,
Just keep going.
Just keep going.
Yeah.
Okay,
Good.
Good.
How do you feel right now?
Good.
Yeah.
You feel more settled?
Yes,
I feel more at home.
We have to take our own power,
You guys.
Yeah.
And it's a learning how to do it.
Okay.
Thorsten,
Hilla-Chen,
How are you?
How am I?
Yeah.
Where do I start?
It's a roller coaster,
The last days.
I'm currently sitting in the hospice.
Right.
Do you have Mama?
Every night expecting she might die.
Yeah.
Sometimes,
The last days,
I was very strong.
I felt like,
Wow,
I'm coping very well with this situation.
And yesterday was a very,
Very strong and painful day.
Crying quite several times a day.
So,
It's really like an up and down.
Feeling better again,
Quite strong.
Right.
Oh,
Bless you.
But I know I strongly feel with the situations I faced before it got really severe with my mom.
This is the clue which really brings me deeper to Amma's teachings to finally surrender,
Let go of control,
Detach more.
This is the solution also to cope with all my fear stuff I'm facing.
Yeah.
I really feel this is all interlinked somehow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I took over some fear stuff from my mom.
Right.
Child time,
But some I probably took over.
Right.
So,
I know,
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
You know,
When a woman gives birth,
Just before the baby arrives,
It's transition,
And it is intense pain.
And then,
You know,
The cervix relaxes,
And there's a bit of space,
And then intense pain.
And it just sounds like you're going through like an emotional,
Like the emotional equivalent of transition of,
You know,
Intense.
But,
Thorsten,
I get a really good feeling,
Okay,
About you.
I have to tell you,
Man.
Congratulations.
I got a great feeling.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
That's it.
Uh-huh.
That's it.
Yeah.
Just keep going.
And,
You know,
Yeah.
We're,
You know,
Maybe everybody send love to Thorsten,
And his mom's in hospice.
And,
Yeah.
And he's been so heartfelt,
And brave,
And honest.
My hat off.
Yeah.
And willing to grow at the same time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Good.
Good.
Yeah.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
And,
Michael,
You know,
We all know what it's like to not want to grow,
And not want to change.
And,
You know,
When we're older,
It's harder to change.
Yeah.
It's like,
My hat off for,
You know,
Even like contemplating all of this.
And Saskia,
You know,
I knew about the feeling,
The pressure of evolving,
And all the different discomforts and everything.
But it's like,
Just keep going.
And just,
You know,
Gradually,
You learn how to take the steering wheel of your own life.
You just gradually get brought to it.
And if we're brought to it before our deathbed,
We,
You know,
We have a better time.
You know?
To have some period of our lives where we can actually express our truth is a total,
Incredible achievement for a human being being born at this time.
Mm-hmm.
And just coming to the sad things,
You know,
It sinks in.
And there's this big door of love.
And I'm always behind you.
I'm always there with you,
Really.
All you have to do is.
.
.
And you have Rama.
It's like a million.
And there,
You know,
That angel who appeared in the door,
The door,
My room,
And said,
What was the message?
Said,
Tell them.
.
.
What was the message?
Tell them they can do it.
It was something like that.
They can do it.
They can do it.
Whatever it was.
Yeah.
And thank you for coming.
We've gone over a bit,
So we're going to have to close.
But you guys,
You're my gang.
You're my gang,
You know?
And bless your hearts.
And thank you so much for coming.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Blessings.
