Everything Can Be Transformed—Nothing Is Permanent

Any unwanted growth or disease in our body reflects a misunderstanding. Healing can unfold effortlessly when we open our hearts to a deeper understanding of ourselves and why the illness or difficulty came. By opening to receive deeper insight, we learn to understand ourselves and all living beings—even plants and animals.
Using uncomfortable situations, the Universe invites us to turn inward, leading us toward illumination. Here, we discover our strength and wisdom. We learn to take wise action; to act with clarity and discernment. Everything happens in the best possible way to promote our growth.
We are already complete—infinitely loving and wise. We simply need to befriend and trust our inner wisdom.
There is nothing to fix - only an unfolding to embrace. Trust your inner knowing, and when faced with anger, embrace it and observe it, rather than buying into its storyline. Use everything that happens to you in life to rise higher—seeing the divine in all.

Transcript

Thinking about grace,

Opening your heart to grace,

To the creator's grace,

To Amma's grace,

The grace of your own soul for your human form.

Yeah.

Opening your heart to yourself.

Opening your heart to all of life.

Yeah.

Blessings,

Blessings,

Blessings.

I can,

I'm almost hearing your heartbeats.

It's so funny.

It's like I can hear your heart beating on like the etheric plane.

That's so interesting.

You know,

This work,

The reason I do it is because I love you,

But also because it's I just get bigger,

You know,

I just get more and more loving.

It's very captivating.

So do whatever helps you get more and more loving you guys.

Yeah.

Okay,

So so I'm just going ahead,

Diana.

Are you your Trilla chance?

Buddy?

Are you?

Yes.

Hi.

So he wrote that you are open.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what's up with you?

How are you?

Fine.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And thank you for welcoming me and hello to everybody.

I was there yesterday and last week on Sunday.

So thank you.

Yeah.

Well,

Thanks for coming.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I'm new.

I feel shy.

Yeah.

But I think it's very great what you're doing,

And how everybody's opening up and just,

You know,

Talking about what's going on.

Yeah,

Me too.

Yeah.

Because it grows us,

You know,

If we hide it doesn't we don't grow.

Yeah.

And,

And the sharing I think is,

Is what makes it so nice that we're all in this kind of together and connected because we all know what everybody's kind of talking about,

Right?

It's nothing like strange at all.

That's it.

It's what the spiritual journey is like.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So is there anything coming up?

Well,

Thank you for asking.

Um,

Um,

With me,

It's a lot of things happening right now this month in the new year.

Like everything kind of like a relationship wise,

A relationship ended,

I have to change my job,

The job situation ended where I was.

Yes.

Then I need to get a checkup.

Um,

I went to the doctor and I didn't need another checkup.

So it's many things all at once.

So yeah,

That's kind of like,

Like a wind,

You know,

Blowing like,

Wow.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Perfect storm.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Kind of.

Yeah,

There's something pressing on your heart.

It's like,

Not a secret.

It's kind of like I'm getting a secret or something.

But I think it's more like,

I don't know what it is.

Do you know what it is?

Pressing on my heart?

Yeah.

And it's like a secret or something you feel you you can't speak about it.

You can't share.

Yeah,

Well,

That's actually maybe you mean,

Because the checkup,

I can be so open.

Yes.

The check with the doctor is actually is they said it's like it's cyst.

It's cyst.

You know what's and it's right where the heart is,

I guess,

You know,

Is at the breast on the left side.

Maybe that's what do you mean?

I don't know.

Yeah,

Yeah,

I think I think so.

Are you doing a checkup?

Are you going to get a biopsy to see what it is?

Maybe,

Maybe a biopsy but but a checkup like a mammography for sure.

Tomorrow,

Actually.

Yes.

So and then they will see I mean,

They just sending me she said because my mom has a history when she was 70 to have cancer.

So she said just to make sure because of that,

She doesn't want to take it too easy.

Yeah,

No,

No,

No.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Yeah,

I'm sure it's nothing.

And,

You know,

Any growth,

You know,

Anywhere in our body,

It's always kind of suggesting of,

You know,

Some kind of misunderstanding.

You know what I mean?

Assist.

It's like,

What?

Why is it grown?

Do you know?

I mean,

It's not really got got a purpose,

Right?

But I think it wants to tell me something.

Yeah,

That's what I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah,

I think just going through these things sometimes solves things actually just going to these appointments going through it,

That it stimulates our psyches.

And if you've got like,

You know,

Okay,

Made this,

Whatever misunderstanding is in this,

May it clear if you got that kind of an attitude,

Then things can clear seamlessly,

It doesn't have to be a big,

Oh,

What is it?

Oh,

Rude of it all,

You don't have to,

You know,

If you just got the attitude of,

Okay,

Can the reason for this,

Just clear.

As I walk through this,

These appointments,

You know,

Maybe you'll get an insight or a dream.

Just opening is important.

That's what it feels most important is just opening to,

To the information that your psyche is wanting to send to you,

Just opening to this more subtle level of information.

It's why I do this work,

Because it is what solves things when we open up to,

To receive more information.

When we open our hearts to actually understand ourselves and open to this more subtle data.

Right?

Good,

Good,

Good,

Good,

Good,

Good.

It's,

It's,

It's almost like giving your feminine permission to be female,

You know,

To have the female perceptions,

These were subtle.

We're sensitive,

There's a lot of information women get.

And sometimes in the patriarchy,

They,

They distrust it,

Or they feel that's not allowed.

But,

And this is crippling for us as women,

We need to be able to have our perceptions.

So I'm just giving you permission to thank you.

Yeah.

And to wake up a little more.

But just,

You know,

It's an ongoing,

You're waking up more and more.

Good.

Yeah.

Okay.

What you're saying is you're talking right at it.

That's exactly the whole point.

Yeah,

That's what's right.

Going.

Good.

Yeah,

Good.

And may Amma send extra energy and keep you safe during this transition,

You know,

Feeling safe and stable during this where you've got all these stress points with the job changing relationships and all this.

It's a lot of stress points.

Yeah,

A lot of Yeah.

Yeah.

But these periods grow us,

We grow.

Yeah.

Okay,

Sweetie,

I've got to move on.

So thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for getting it.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Maxi.

Hello.

Hi.

I am Yeah,

I would say like,

In the progress,

And it's I feel like anxious and tense,

But it's okay.

And I feel a lot of,

Like gratefulness for what I have in my life.

I really realize that,

Like this,

These days,

Like,

What the kids and how I'm supported and how,

Yeah,

How happy I can be.

So yeah,

I try to always remember myself to like,

When these moments of anxiety and stressfulness come,

I'm just telling myself,

Okay,

It's all good.

Just relax.

It's,

It's the progress.

Yeah.

Good.

That's,

That's about what you can do.

Yeah,

That's good.

That's good.

Yeah.

There's a switch in you that's turned off.

And I'm going to turn it on.

Please.

Yeah,

I'm just going to turn it on.

And yeah.

So yeah.

And it will help you hear what's not being said fully,

You know,

It's again,

Along the lines of the feminine,

Allowing the feminine.

We've got really high perceptions,

And we down downgraded them.

So it's like getting it back.

This work is just the feminine,

You know,

That's,

That's all it is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So so you have permission to allow this to receive more information and to hear what's not being said,

And you're already getting more like that.

So I'm,

I'm happy.

It's all good.

Maxie all systems go.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

Moving on to the next Gordon.

Thank you.

I've been wondering about you.

Gordon.

I thought I'd scared you or something.

And you'd gone off into the wild blue yonder.

And I never see you again.

No,

No,

No,

No,

No.

I have a lot of respect and awe from about you.

This is good.

I think this is good,

Because it,

It keeps me focused.

And it's not a casual thing that I participate and talk to you,

Which I think is really good.

Yeah.

Good.

Good.

I'm happy.

Good.

Yeah.

So the,

I have three,

Three major things at the moment at the happening.

I start with the with a really good thing.

I have this,

This helpers.

This savior pattern from my childhood.

Right.

And so my mother was supposed to visit here coming this,

This Thursday.

And,

And she got sick,

And she had to postpone by two weeks.

And the good thing,

The good thing about that is,

When she comes now,

Then I'll have a very good friend here staying too.

And he can support me all the time.

The universe.

Right?

Yeah.

I love it.

First of all,

I was like,

Oh my God,

So much hassle,

Hassle changing all her bookings.

But now I'm very happy that that I have much more of a cushion.

Because I have much more emotional support.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

And the other thing,

This is very related my ex partner,

And I'm supporting him in a legal case.

And that was,

I really didn't want to do that anymore.

But I had to taken the decision,

I have to do it,

Because I don't want to abandon him.

And this way,

I got a message from the opponents,

And it made clear that it makes no sense to continue it.

So I was very happy because I had taken,

I was ready to swallow the bitter pill,

But I don't have to.

That is fantastic.

All this.

And I just want to say all this is,

Is a clearing of your base chakra.

Do you understand?

Safer to be on the planet.

This is fantastic.

Okay,

I love it too.

And,

And the third one is,

There is a person where I have a love interest,

But I know it would be the same pattern again,

The the Savior.

And I really managed to set my boundaries and not pursue it.

And my mind is this body wants to but I but I really,

I'm setting my boundaries.

I'm not doing it because that's not what I want to do with my life.

Right.

Right.

Yeah,

So all these,

These Savior things is really,

I'm really taking good care of that.

That's good.

That's,

That's,

That's this passion.

That's,

That is going conscious.

This is avoiding a big pothole,

Right?

Yeah,

Yeah.

So maybe your support with the base chakra is helping me in that and it's being led in the direction.

Well,

It sounds like you're healing it.

Sounds very good.

Okay.

And the money issues because,

I mean,

I had invested my money really well,

And I have a very comfortable situation.

But there was always this,

It could be better,

It could be more,

It could be better.

And I looked at it.

First of all,

From an anger perspective,

And I could see in the past,

I would give myself a hard time for not having been perfect.

But I'm not doing that anymore.

I'm just like,

Okay,

I,

I make mistakes.

And I can't avoid it.

And then the other anger would be,

I would,

I would be angry about the market doing what it does.

But I don't do that anymore,

Either,

Because the market just does what it does.

And it can't.

And,

And,

And then there's this thing where I can see this ultimate fear of,

Of that I may come in,

Also,

I'm taking such good precautions,

I may come into a difficult situation,

At a point in my life,

If the whole system breaks apart,

I can't do anything about it.

And if it comes,

Like,

If I have to swallow that pill,

I'm ready to swallow the pill.

Yeah,

And you're in a warm climate right now.

So show you this is my view.

Yeah,

I think I'm going to suggest a big retreat for the whole satsang down.

You're more than welcome.

You're more than welcome.

I have an apartment apartment here,

Which is owned by a friend of mine,

You can,

You're always welcome to visit.

Yeah,

This sounds really good,

Gordon.

I'm,

I'm just keep going.

Yeah.

There's a little bit more of a warmer self forgiveness,

That kind of compassion.

But it could be warmer.

Okay,

So that will be in my purse for you to that you end up with a really warm,

Self forgiveness,

Self compassion for whatever errors you have.

Like this is what premise suited,

You know,

It's like,

I've been so harem scarum,

There's really been a lot to forgive,

You know,

And I did it,

You know,

It's the big Leela.

Right?

Okay,

Well,

It's nice to it's nice to see you.

I thought you'd given up and discuss so I'm happy that you know,

I'm very determined.

And thank you for your support.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Well,

It's easy.

Thank you.

Okay,

Great.

Thank you.

Beth and sweet one haven't seen you for months.

How are you Yes,

It has been a few months.

Yeah.

And I'm very grateful for joining satsang.

They've been staying at a Buddhist center.

So like no use of phones,

Etc.

So hence away from technology and internet and satsangs.

But I've been eager to be in contact with you the whole time.

And today we've got more light and more warmth.

So you can sit in the field.

Enjoying.

So I'm very grateful.

And you're with me every day in so many ways and my thoughts.

And,

Um,

Yeah,

It's been a mix of a few months of like,

No good positive times and learning but a lot of turmoil as well and a lot of upset and quite a lot of anger I've noticed have come through me in new and unexpected ways,

Which is being a new experience.

And how's your health?

How's your health?

Um,

That's probably a bit of a crap part,

I suppose.

A few months ago,

I found out about my brain tumors grown.

Okay.

So yeah,

So took that kind of quite a while at a time.

It's been,

You know,

The best news to have.

And just knowing it's here for me,

You know,

To learn from and to understand,

Like why it's in growth again,

And substantially and,

You know,

Reference the chakras and know what is it there still for me to be learning or to be loving or to be allowing or to be letting go of.

Um,

But along with that,

I've had quite a seizure increase as well.

Yeah,

Yeah.

So those,

Those have been a mix of experiences to where they can be quite visual.

So I get the deja vu part,

But I've actually had experiences where I've felt someone talking to me too.

And a mix of body sensations that come with it and a sense of feeling and presence.

So sweet one,

You're a very brave soul,

Bethan.

You're one of the bravest people I know.

Really?

Yeah.

Please take that home.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Good.

Right.

And realistically,

You have got a big load this life,

Right?

It's a,

It's a big cone.

You know,

You know,

The old what is the sound of one hand clapping?

It's kind of like the cone of all the challenges you face.

And I'm not,

It's not to promote pity at all.

It's,

It's the opposite.

It's like you face them all so bravely and with so much grace.

Truly,

My hat off.

Truly.

You,

You are worthy of great respect.

Yeah.

The grace hasn't always been in the past few months.

I've just felt a very horrid side to myself on times.

And it's,

I think that's actually been more upsetting than the physical aspect of my health.

You've been feeling how?

These past few months?

Anger and frustration.

And yeah,

Yeah,

This kind of loss of myself.

My expression and I think it's partly to do with like how and where I'm living too.

And it just kind of,

Yeah,

Come very inward in an unhealthy way.

And I keep showing love and being loving,

Knowing that I'm loved.

I know that I'm so much love and I feel the love.

But there's this frustration in me at the same time as if I'm not fully expressing and sharing and being.

Yeah,

You know,

During motherhood and raising the boys and those years,

You know,

And I love them dearly,

But like,

I felt frustrated and angry and pissed off a lot of the time,

You know,

Like,

This is kind of,

You know,

What could happen in in our 30s,

You know,

The clearing coming were,

You know,

It can,

I think a lot of the people,

The sensing would,

Would say that that's how they feel a lot of the time as well.

And it's,

It's okay,

You know?

Yeah.

It's uncomfortable.

It is uncomfortable.

I think it just feels more intense because of where I'm living.

And it's like,

Small,

It's like three of us that live in a Buddhist centre.

And they're lovely and they're beautiful.

But when you don't have time to yourself properly,

And all this is going on,

It's hard,

You know,

It's Yeah,

Yeah.

If not,

Yeah,

I'm needing to release it,

But not wanting to express it or to allow it.

It just sometimes just seems to How about your creativity?

I've started doing little bits,

Like every night before I go to sleep,

I'll do a drawing.

Yeah,

That feels good.

Creativity feels good.

Yeah.

And,

But yeah,

I feel quite contained.

Right,

Look,

It's very beautiful.

I live,

It's a beautiful community.

It really is.

It's a,

It's a spiritual family.

They're very stunning people.

And they really,

They have their Rinpoche,

Their teacher that they follow.

And I've learned so much about it.

It's very beautiful.

It really is.

And they're very welcoming and caring.

I just,

I don't quite feel part of what's here,

Though.

It's,

I feel a bit more like a viewer than a being amongst them.

And which is a bit of a different experience in itself than,

You know,

To like other spiritual,

You know,

For example,

Amma's ashram or other spiritual communities I've been with and communicate with.

It's,

Yeah,

So it's been.

I think lots of times people in spiritual communities feel like that,

Sweetie.

Truly,

I think a lot of people at the ashram feel like this,

Sort of separate,

Even though they're all together.

Will you go into my webpage and put yourself on my prayer page?

Okay.

Thank you.

Yeah,

Please.

Please.

And that's daily prayers and you have to do it every month.

But the prayers will come and,

And there've been people,

The people have been talking,

There've been reports of people health.

Who knows,

Sweetie?

Who knows?

But anyway,

I'll be,

You'll know that you'll be in my thoughts every day,

Several times.

Okay.

Thanks,

Prima Sudaran.

You are such a factor in my life now.

I literally speak to you every day,

Like I do Amma.

Sometimes I wonder what you're taking in or not.

I'm just like,

Or just like,

Hear you talk,

Like little words and phrases and comments over this,

Which sometimes go,

Okay,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Or,

Or I'll start laughing and chuckle in or,

Okay,

Thank you for the reminder or,

Yeah,

So.

That's lovely.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm not really satsangs,

But,

You know,

Literally Sundays make me think of satsangs and during the week I think of you and yeah,

So it's.

Thanks.

Okay,

I'm gonna,

I'm gonna move on because we've got,

So yeah,

Thanks.

Varadarajan.

Yes.

How are you?

I'm today I'm much better than yesterday.

Yesterday was the complete day and headache and couldn't sleep the night before.

And today I'm,

I'm much better and I'm totally fine.

I'm leaving on Tuesday for five weeks vacation to Columbia,

As you know,

And I was a little bit struggling with my apartment,

Especially with the care about my plans.

I wanted to sublet my apartment of financial reasons,

But I couldn't find someone and even struggling to let someone with his energies in my,

In my temple.

But for my plans,

I wanted it.

And today morning,

I woke up,

I connected to my plans and they were telling me,

Oh,

Don't worry,

We know someone.

Then I was thinking,

Yeah,

Okay,

It's fine.

But who is it?

I don't know it.

And a couple hours later,

Friends texted me,

I wish you good journey to Columbia and da da da.

And we were not in touch for two months.

And then now he takes care about my apartment,

About my plans.

And the funny thing is I go to Columbia and the Colombian taking care about my apartment and my plans.

That it's very beautiful.

And I have a wonderful feeling of unity.

Do you know,

Even before you said he was Colombian taking care of your plants,

But like that you listen to the plants and the plants told you stunning,

Stunning.

Yeah.

This is the deeper awakening.

This is the heart awakening,

Right?

That's good.

That's good.

That's very good work.

Yeah.

Happy,

Happy.

Yeah.

Today,

I was just wondering,

They were telling me we know someone.

Yeah,

I think that's a riot.

So funny.

Yeah.

So I'm very released.

Well,

It,

You know,

You feel good.

And,

You know,

I,

I'll be so interested to hear how your trip goes.

And,

You know,

It's still not planned.

I only know I arrive on Tuesday,

I will stay until Saturday in Bogota.

And then I have my flight to Medellin.

Just yesterday,

It's got decided that I will stay for one week and not today morning,

I got decided that I will stay one week in Medellin,

Not only one night.

So it's still it's still growing.

It's a process.

You know,

I went to was approved.

And it was Lima,

I came in Lima,

And I promptly got culture shock.

And it took me a week to be able to get it together enough to leave the was just like,

It's like so full of honking cars.

It just fried my brain.

Anyway,

So I'll be interested just how you know,

Just expect the unexpected.

That's my feeling about your trip,

Actually.

I'm open what will what will evolve.

I'm I'm very open.

I was a little bit surprised.

Because my final week is one week in Rio de Janeiro.

And I was thinking,

Well,

Okay,

Carnival is over.

But no,

I'm exactly on the peak of the carnival in Rio.

I don't know why this should happen.

Well,

Stay tuned.

I'm open.

It's supposed to be like this.

And I will figure out why.

You will figure out.

And I really love it about the plants.

That I that you know,

This deep heart in you this deep loving heart that I've always seen in you is emerging more and I'm really happy to meet him.

You see like he feels like a good friend of mine.

This deep part of yours.

Yeah,

That's good.

Okay,

Sweet one.

I'm gonna have to move on because we're Thank you.

Suzanne,

Haven't seen you for a bit,

Sweet one.

Hello to all.

Hello,

Everybody.

Yeah,

I'm happy to be here.

Yeah.

And again,

And yeah,

My life is very soft.

And I love myself no matter what.

And sometimes I'm in love with myself.

So and my base chakra is in a big healing.

In the moment.

Good.

And I'm lying often down in my bed.

No matter what and I pray this time and yeah,

Good.

And yeah,

And the only thing I I am sorry with Stefan with my husband.

Yeah,

He can't can't actually walk so good.

Why?

We was last week,

We are going to the doctor.

Yeah.

And one leg the left leg is thinner than the right leg.

And the doctor means it comes from the spine.

Maybe something which press on something.

And yeah,

We have he has to go in the to check it.

Now.

What's happened?

Yeah.

Oh,

So I help him a lot.

And Yeah.

Yeah.

But he is happy and doing well.

And good.

Good.

He is.

Yeah,

He has a big humor and don't give up.

I mean,

They would be easily solved.

And that's great.

It's I hope this I'm praying for him.

Me too.

Me too.

So the other thing,

It's good that you can give back to him.

Yeah,

He's helped you out a lot,

Right?

So it's beautiful that he's have to depend on you.

And obviously,

You're doing a good job because he feels loved enough to have his humor.

Do you know,

He's still got his humor.

Yeah,

You're doing a good job of supporting him.

Really,

Suzanne,

My hat off.

Really,

My,

My hat off to you for that because it's,

It's hard for guys to be,

You know,

Not functioning fully.

And yeah,

It's,

It's hard for him.

But yeah,

I would love that he more open up to God.

But yeah,

He needs time.

Right?

Yeah.

And some people,

They're more open than they say.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He has.

Yeah,

He has a good heart.

So yeah,

He has a good heart.

Yeah.

So some people are just sort of like sponges.

They just sponge it and sponge it up.

And they but they don't talk about it.

And they Yeah,

But he's got a good heart.

So yeah,

He's nice to people and very friendly.

And yeah.

Oh,

He's adorable.

Yeah.

He's,

You know,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

May it be like,

You know,

Maybe it's some osteopath or something can help him.

I,

You know,

Let me know.

Okay,

How it goes.

I do.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay,

Great.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay,

Moving on.

Okay,

Karin,

Sweetie,

How are you doing?

Hi,

I'm feeling well,

I feel like I so I,

This weekend,

There's a trip,

It kind of went a little bit haywire,

The birthday girl,

She couldn't make her flight.

So the three of us just decided to go up.

Anyway,

You know,

Without but we paid right,

It's all gonna,

You know,

Harrison Springs,

And it's a trip we've been planning 10 years just because of the snow.

Yeah,

And I had an even the two other girls that were driving up before me,

And they said,

Like,

Oh,

We're worried,

Don't drive,

You know,

The snow,

All this stuff.

And then,

But I had a feeling I was like,

You know,

What,

Just go try.

If it gets too much,

You turn around,

Come back.

I went and it turned out like,

I didn't have any problems,

Like the roads were plowed.

And it wasn't when they were on the highway.

Like,

Okay,

This is music to my ears.

You trusted your own data,

And you didn't get caught in fear.

I think this is fantastic.

Yay.

Yeah,

Badge of honor.

That's it more of this good for you.

That's it.

Right?

It's nice,

Isn't it?

You feel good,

Right?

Yeah.

And I don't have any worries.

Like,

And you know what else?

You know,

I thought snow was supposed to start in the am.

And I was like,

Oh,

I'm not going to be able to make this the satsang because I'm going to have to be on the road driving to beat the snow.

You know,

Pushback is pushed.

It's not even going to snow till like,

I don't know,

Like,

Past lunchtime and all this stuff.

And I was like,

I can actually have my satsang.

Really?

I'm not worried.

I'm not panicked.

Like,

I'm enjoying my time here.

And the girls for breakfast or whatever.

And like the room's mine.

I got a beautiful view as well as the snowy mountains.

Like,

So it's seamless,

Seamless,

Another base chakra healing.

This is good.

This is good.

Yeah.

Corinne,

I'm really happy.

You know,

You followed your intuition,

You did the ballsy thing,

Driving in snow.

And it's like,

You know,

You know,

What time the news had told everybody,

You know,

We couldn't drive in Vancouver,

It was like too terrible.

But I had a dog at home.

And I had to drive back to see the dog.

And there were no cars on the road.

And it was seamless driving.

There was no trouble.

And I think it scared the whole city.

This media stuff scared the whole city.

It's like,

Oh,

My goodness.

Yeah.

Yay,

Corinne.

I'm happy more of this.

Yay.

You go girl.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

Girls.

Okay,

Laura,

Sweet one.

I saw I was saying on the last set saying,

Did you hear me that during Bajans,

You came in and sat next to me.

It was just like,

Energetically here in the ashram.

It was so funny.

It was like,

Laura,

What are you doing here?

How are you?

Because I've been sending you white flowers.

Well,

Thank you.

I've got them.

Thank you.

Thank you.

How are you,

Sweet one?

Um,

I was all set to go home.

I had made all the arrangements.

And it got locked.

I had an internal bleed and ended up in the hospital for five days.

Now I'm waiting for the results of a bone marrow biopsy.

And I haven't heard yet.

And I've been a little overwhelmed.

And I had the dream the other night,

And Mama was in it.

And I heard Swamiji say,

Amma does not make our decisions.

She wants us to decide.

And as soon as I decided,

I did not want to go home to Florida,

My energy started coming back.

So I don't know.

And I,

I don't know.

So with your internal bleed,

Was that real?

Is that why they did the biopsy of your bone marrow?

Why did they?

Yeah,

Okay.

They were looking for leukemia,

Because of the breast cancer before.

And as I've been so I knew.

Okay.

Okay.

And I was told that's why I didn't have any energy.

I couldn't get out of my chair all day.

And the thought of moving to Florida with my mom,

I could not keep my heart open.

I wouldn't be able to do any of my practices.

Just there.

She doesn't want anything to do with Amma.

And I couldn't be myself.

I'm afraid I would go right down the drain.

Well,

Amma will solve it.

Like I know she's not going to make the decision for you.

But she'll give you she'll strengthen you for you to know what's best and then give you the strength to just follow through with it.

Okay.

So,

You know,

And maybe you could just you don't even have to decide right now.

You know,

You can just wait for the results.

And yeah,

You don't have to go home.

You don't have to there's nobody saying you have to.

It feels like things are getting like my insurance just told me they're not going to cover the hospital stay.

So it feels like I'm getting squeezed again.

But what's happened is a whole team of Amma friends has come out of the woodwork.

They were there the whole time.

I just felt so separate and alone.

But they want to help me.

Somebody wants to help pay for the hospital bill.

Somebody wants to help pay for a facility.

Oh my god.

That's just like miraculous.

It is but it you know what it is?

The pole to go home to Florida is I love and took care of my sister like you did with your brother.

I had a little sister that I just adored and took care of.

And she wants me to come home.

She's the only reason I want to go home.

Okay,

Sweetie pie,

Just be with it all.

Okay,

Just walk through it.

The decision will get made.

You'll just have to wobble with it for a while.

And you'll,

You know,

You have to deal with in the short term,

The results of the bone marrow.

But I'll tell you,

Look at Amma's support,

You know,

Like,

Please just just remember,

She's,

You know,

It's already happened,

Laura.

You know,

It's already I wish somebody would tell me what happened.

Yeah,

So just,

You know,

You're go off duty and just,

You know,

Watch a watch a good video and just,

Just,

Yeah,

Relax,

Sweet one.

And you're,

You're on my prayer list.

So you know,

But Amma's taking such good care of you.

I mean,

People coming out to pay your hospital bill.

It's like,

Oh,

My goodness.

This would be fairytale land for most people,

You know?

It is miraculous,

But I feel like it's not okay for me to let them do that.

Because I'm supposed to go home.

Because my family wants me.

Well,

Sweetie,

You've got that runaway head.

So all I can do is prayers,

Prayers for you.

And just watch your runaway heads do about everything.

And try to laugh at yourself a little more.

It's all going to get sorted out.

It will be sorted out in the best possible way.

Okay,

I wish I could.

I wish I had a magic wand for you.

But I'm just the guidance I'm getting is you just need to like sit and be with this.

Just be with what is and things will get solved.

Yeah.

I can do that.

I can do that.

I'm not as sick as I thought I was.

I'm more accepting of the mental blank spots.

Yeah,

You're doing very well.

You're doing very well.

It's like another big challenge like Bethan's.

Yeah,

Both you guys.

You're in my heart.

Okay.

She really inspired me.

I want my last thoughts to be about Alma,

Not my mother.

They will.

They will.

Sweet one,

I've got to move on to others because we've got so many waiting.

But thank you.

Alma's taking care of you.

Yeah.

Okay,

Blessings.

Blessings.

Julie,

How are you?

I'm fantastic.

Moving out here.

I'm in the high desert in Oregon.

But it's kind of in the country.

There's not a lot of houses around.

And the sun rises in my bedroom window.

And it's I'm so happy.

I was living in an uncomfortable situation for several years.

And this been trying to manifest this for a while.

And it finally came to pass.

And I'm so grateful.

Complete game changer.

Your face looks you actually look like a different person.

Like your face is so relaxed.

Yeah.

Good.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

My goodness.

Wonderful to hear.

Yeah.

It's very beautiful.

Julie,

You're thank you for softness.

I can see your softness.

You Yeah.

Yeah,

It's beautiful.

I do have.

It's odd because I am.

I just really feel like I've turned a corner and I'm so happy and grateful that things are finally falling into place.

But you know how you always kind of wait for the other shoe to drop like,

You know,

Things are things are too good.

You know,

Something something's gonna happen.

But yeah,

I I've been experiencing this terrible pain in my right shoulder.

And I just I can barely brush my hair or brush my teeth.

So I've been sending love to it asking,

You know,

Trying to meditate asking if there's any messages,

What am I holding on to?

What do I you know,

What can I do?

And it's been it has been really difficult.

It's,

It's interfering with my work.

And I'm not sure if you can read my energy at all.

And,

And tell me if you see anything or feel anything yourself.

Well,

I don't know.

But if it's you need to get it checked out,

Right?

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah.

I,

I have an appointment coming and I do.

I'm going back to acupuncture and massage that will definitely help.

But I just wondered on a spiritual side of well,

I,

I don't know.

I mean,

What I can tell you is I mean,

I I started getting pain like that my shoulders and it was arthritis.

Right?

I have a feeling that's what it is.

I'm I have a feeling it is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's a really good therapy that they use in Canada,

Which is no,

I can't remember what it's called where they insert sugar water into the joint.

And it,

It scars the what is the,

I can't remember the,

The joint part that the cartilage.

Oh,

It Yeah,

It and it and it starts regenerating.

So it is it is a medically sanctioned thing here in Canada that works.

So see,

You could explore.

Well,

We my doctor also wondered if maybe I didn't tear my rotator cuff.

Okay.

So it could be.

Anyway,

Other than that,

I am absolutely fantastic.

I wake up every morning and look at my surroundings.

And I just so grateful.

It's amazing.

It's responsibility on your male side.

So it will be a responsibility for action in the world.

So it's like,

Maybe it's also something around that,

Like,

It,

You know,

Sometimes when we get older,

We kind of want to slough off responsibilities and want to stop working and you know,

I don't know,

How's your job sitting with you?

Is it sitting okay with you?

Yeah,

I'm,

I'm content.

It's,

I like my job.

It's,

Yeah,

It's,

I think that I've grown.

I've learned everything I can learn.

And so it's kind of a little routine and monotonous,

But I do.

I mean,

I do enjoy it.

But I'm waiting.

I work for Parks and Rec in the office.

And we're about we just purchased a new.

We're building a new rec center,

And it's going to be huge and offer a lot more.

And so I'm excited.

I'm kind of holding out for that to see if that kind of sparks my interest again.

And if not,

I will look for something else.

But I'm good.

I'm content right now.

Okay,

Good.

It's not very challenging.

Yeah,

Right.

Sometimes that can be good,

Though,

If you've,

You know,

So that you've got lots of energy left over for other things,

But you know,

Exactly.

Yeah,

That I don't have to worry about that.

It's it's easy.

And then I can put my energy into other things.

So I agree.

Yeah,

Definitely.

Um,

I just,

I just feel there's a need for love,

Actually.

You know,

Just the loving gentleness towards your shoulder,

And patience with not being able to do things.

Right,

Kind of like being patient and loving with non performance.

Okay.

Right?

Like,

Yeah,

Yeah.

It's kind of that's right.

Okay.

Right.

It's like being still loving with a child who's throwing a temper tantrum in Walmart,

Right?

It's Yeah.

The lesson,

This is the lesson being very patient,

Forgiving,

Loving,

And flexible about Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

I like that.

Good.

Thank you.

Good.

And I'm sending a kind of this big,

This big thing of love a big,

Like a compassion ball of love,

And I'm sending it to your shoulder.

Oh,

Yeah.

Right.

Thank Right.

And also to your heart.

Your heart needs it to a little more softness for Julie,

Like you come a long way,

Sweetie,

Your face.

It's like you actually,

You actually,

I would I would not recognize you energetically.

If you know what I mean?

Yeah.

That's,

That's quite a compliment.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you're doing something really right.

Just just more more.

More.

Yeah,

Gentleness.

Good.

Good.

Before you move on,

I just wanted to say you mentioned,

Just kind of flippantly,

But you mentioned a satsang retreat,

And I would love it if we could.

I know it's hard.

People are all over the place.

But I think that would be wonderful if we could all get together.

I mean,

I know it's,

It's probably impossible.

But I was thinking about that,

How wonderful that would be to see everyone in person.

I know somebody Jenna suggested it to me.

And I was thinking,

Well,

Yeah,

It's hard.

People are in jail.

Yeah.

Well,

Who knows?

It's a it's a beautiful thought.

Yeah.

And if it's meant to be,

It'll be it'll right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

I love you so much.

Ah,

Julie.

I love you too,

Sweet one.

Thanks for coming.

Yeah.

Bye.

Bye.

Yeah.

Agnes,

Sweet one.

How are you doing?

Hi.

Yeah.

I think the self love experience is just continuing.

Really.

And I have times I can accept myself so good.

And at the moment,

The relationship with my son is really,

Really good.

So something's changing a lot.

But yeah,

As you know,

Like,

I think since one year,

I've been struggling with this partnership situation.

Yeah,

And it was going on and off.

And like,

Since two months,

It's completely over.

And I'm quite struggling with it.

And so I have good times.

But then I kind of can't let go.

I pray then a lot to Amma.

I wrote to her two letters.

And yeah,

But it's,

It's not over.

You know,

Like,

I'm really,

I'm really struggling with this.

Yeah.

Have you?

Did you get the email from me about the subliminal videos?

To keep your mind?

Yes,

I watch it.

I watch it a lot.

Do you do?

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I,

I think it's hard,

You know,

When I know for me as a woman,

Where you where you come like that,

There's maybe no safety with the opposite sex,

There's no,

That you actually have the bond to yourself.

That's what you're facing with.

And you know,

You might as well learn it now,

Because our kids leave us.

Yeah,

They do.

And not only that,

When they get older,

They go,

Hey,

Mom,

Like,

Why did you do this when I was five?

You know,

They've got all this stuff that they've got their garbage from the childhood,

You know,

That they're then having to work out.

So they're not sometimes our best buds.

Do you know,

Sometimes they're,

They're doing their own individuation,

We have to let them find themselves.

So I want you to learn this sooner than later.

Yeah.

Right.

You have a very,

Very complete heart inside you.

You are complete.

You actually don't need anybody else.

I mean,

Alma,

You know,

But you you don't need any male.

You don't.

Yeah,

You're very complete.

And as you find that you're complete,

You'll attract a man who loves you,

For you.

And not somebody who walks off and then comes back and walks off.

It's like,

This doesn't sound good,

Sweetie.

No,

I know.

I know.

And I'm,

I'm really doing it,

You know,

I'm really doing it.

And there was the last times he he just asked to come back.

And there is this,

This,

This weak side wants to say yes,

Yes,

Of course,

Come,

You know,

But there is also so strong.

This No,

No,

I don't agree to do this anymore,

You know.

But it's not 100%.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It sounds like you're not quite ready.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I know.

I'm used to people,

They say stuff,

But it's not 100%.

Because yeah,

I'm not ready.

Yeah,

Okay.

That's okay.

Look,

This is very human.

And guys hold on to women and women hold on to men.

And,

Yeah,

You know,

Almost got this great story of there was this guy who is very in love with a woman called pawn pawn or something.

And he was so in love with her,

And she jilted him.

So he was put in a in a loony bin.

And next door to him was the man who pom pom had said yes to and he'd gone crazy.

So the guy who didn't get pom pom and the guy who got her they both went crazy.

The solution isn't to be found in the opposite sex that you know,

They can be companions,

But you,

You have a very complete heart in there.

You're very deeply loving,

And you're very deeply wise.

And you're scared to really feel how wise you are.

And to really make friends with it.

So you're keeping this going with this guy.

Okay,

Yeah.

But it's,

It's okay.

Just just watch yourself.

Yeah,

But I have that there is this,

You know,

Like,

I'm really doing such a deep work.

And really,

Then I again,

Like,

Want to crawl.

No,

No,

No,

No,

Just save me.

Come back,

Like this,

You know,

But,

But there is this parallel,

This really good and,

And really new work going on,

On myself,

On this really connections with God.

And really putting now myself and God on pedestal,

You know,

And not somebody else.

And,

And really,

This,

This relationship with my son is,

Is getting so good.

I like it,

It never be before,

You know,

Compassionate,

And really seeing him and really,

Yeah,

I'm wondering about myself.

But still,

Yeah,

There's this part,

Just,

It's okay.

Don't worry,

Just watch it,

It will,

It will die.

It'll die.

Yeah,

It's really good.

If your child,

If your son and you're getting along better,

That's good.

That's,

That's,

That's proof of the pudding.

That's very good.

Yeah.

Well,

Many blessings to you.

And you're another brave soul.

So yeah,

You have a very,

Very deep heart,

Deep loving heart in there that has a great deal of wisdom.

Yeah.

And it sounds like you're making better friends with it.

That's good.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay,

Sweet one.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ruth,

Did we?

Did we talk yesterday?

Ruth?

Yeah,

No,

We didn't.

Yes.

No,

I mean,

We didn't.

Yeah,

We didn't.

So how are you?

Oh,

Pretty good.

I've been pretty calm.

Things have been very quiet.

I'm just just,

I think I'm just sort of hunkering down waiting for winter to be over.

And,

And last week,

I was doing a lot of writing.

I've on and off.

I've been writing about my life for years,

Actually.

But I felt like the urge to do some more writing about some things from my past.

Yeah.

I,

Everyone's talking about their physical stuff.

And I and I don't have anything big.

Thank God.

I'm very grateful.

I'm in good health.

I have I have for years,

Digestive issues.

And I've become I've,

I've just I've stopped trying to fix it,

Because everything I've tried doesn't work.

So I'm just trying to be aware and be accepting and loving of myself and that kind of thing.

I got some good news from my sister.

So things are happening with the inheritance issue,

Possibly soon.

I'm not like,

Yeah,

Not holding my breath.

But I have this feeling like I'm preparing for change.

Right?

That something's going to change.

Yes,

I feel this.

It is.

Good or bad,

Or a little of both.

Yeah.

No,

I can feel it.

Yeah.

I agree.

Also,

You know,

The more we love ourselves,

The more I feel our digestion gets better.

So it makes sense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Doesn't it?

Yeah.

I used to have not very good digestion.

It's much better now.

Yeah,

That's good.

I'm,

I'm hoping to just keep keep working on that self love.

Yeah,

Feels there's this change coming.

I think you're absolutely accurate.

Yeah.

And it feels like you're kind of in a bit of a pause before the change,

Whatever it is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like I'm or gathering my energy or Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's good.

Yeah,

I think you sound clear.

You're good.

Sweetie.

You're good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm seeing your little bit of hint of your little child energy.

So good.

Yeah,

Yeah,

My only the main and I don't want to get into it.

But be here in the US I'm I'm a little worried about things.

Things are getting I think,

I don't think for me necessarily,

But for other I think more for others.

Yep.

Yep.

And yeah,

Things are Yeah,

Well,

We're in a crazy world right now.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah,

We can't talk about that too much.

But yeah,

No,

I have empathy.

Yeah.

Sweetie,

I'm going to move on to the next because we're Yeah,

Many blessings.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I've got now now Alicia.

Yeah.

How are you?

Everybody?

Yeah,

Well,

I think I just have a small flu or something.

But other than that,

I think everything is quite okay.

Yeah.

Are you home?

Are you home from work?

Are you still working with it?

Well,

I mean,

It was just like the past two days.

And so yeah,

It was Saturday and Sunday.

So I stayed.

Yeah.

That's terrible.

So you've had your weekend in bed.

Did you spend it in bed or just I couldn't do anything else.

Yeah,

Exactly.

Okay,

Actually,

This sounds like a good thing for you.

This actually is what I feel the doctor ordered.

This is Yeah,

Time just with yourself.

Right?

Right.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Yeah,

The universe has its ways of bringing us to our knees.

Getting us to look inside.

Yep.

Right.

Yeah,

I'm feeling that there's some emotions that have been bottled up.

And you're,

You're going to have to unpack them.

Yeah,

You're gonna see how much you've bottled up in your time.

Yeah.

And how much it doesn't work.

And you can find a new way of dealing with things.

But it's as if this bottling up is you're at the end of it.

It's not going to work anymore.

Yeah.

Does that make sense?

Oh,

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah.

Yes.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

And you kind of you don't know what else to do other than bottle it up,

Because you've just always done that.

But it's like,

You're,

You know,

The roads just stopped.

It's almost like,

You know,

The road,

The roads,

Just,

There's a big cliff,

If you can't keep going along this road,

It just is ended.

You know,

Just knowing that,

Just knowing that,

You know,

Will free you to find a new way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're gonna feel sad.

As you proceed.

Some of these,

What you bottled up,

You're gonna feel kind of a sadness,

Just feel it.

Just feel whatever emotions come up.

Okay.

Yeah.

Journal.

Journal.

It's like,

You can't get out of this,

You're gonna have to face this.

And it's like,

It'll be the making of you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I've seen you face things.

But you know,

When I first met you,

The difference between how you are now and when I first met you,

It's like,

It's a huge change.

And it's like,

There's another big change coming.

And you will be much happier and much wiser.

Yeah,

I promise you.

Right.

And don't be scared.

It's like,

This is what's facing us all we all have to like deal with our emotions come into our hearts more in a deeper way.

Yeah.

Yeah,

You're very beautiful energy,

Alicia.

We got a heart of gold in there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just be brave.

Okay.

Lots of Yeah.

I was unwilling to,

You know,

Like,

Go back to past situations and feel the anger or sadness or whatever about it.

And,

But yeah,

I felt that today,

I should do that.

Yeah.

And journal it up and go through some things again.

Yeah.

Good.

Good.

Yeah,

You can.

I mean,

I'm big on writing up the whole childhood.

I'm big on writing up a whole childhood from the very beginning,

You write out your whole life.

And then things come up that were meant to come up like,

It comes up organically,

It you'll get steered to write about things that the universe that Amma wants you to write about rather than,

You know,

Choosing something to try to fix,

It's better to let the universe have the leash,

Have the lead.

Yeah.

Maybe,

But maybe not.

You make your own decision.

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

I'm pleased to see the movement.

It's very good.

Oh,

We've got more people.

It's getting.

It's lovely that there are so many of you.

Susan,

Sweetie.

How are you?

Hi,

Parasuta.

Hi,

Everybody.

Um,

I'm okay.

I yesterday sat saying I couldn't do the video and stuff because I kind of double booked myself,

But I was there and I'm sorry,

I interrupted with the audio.

I've been having technology stuff.

It's hilarious.

Like I broke my Apple Watch and I'm not replacing it because I didn't realize what a nuisance it's been like constantly notifying me about stuff.

And I'm like really cleaning up my what I'm consuming,

Like big time,

Like off Facebook,

All that.

Okay.

So yesterday's look,

But yesterday's thought saying I had this thing,

It was so powerful.

And I realized like,

I had put myself in a box.

And it wasn't just the box.

It was a metal box.

And then in the thought saying,

I felt like I was on this flying carpet and I could go anywhere.

And I'm like,

That's how we're supposed to be like this complete freedom.

And that's how I kind of used to be right.

And so I've been like,

Just letting go of stuff.

And the other thing that's coming,

I'm having a lot of memories coming up.

And like after my husband died,

And like my daughter was five,

I really closed a lot of like,

I just wouldn't think about my husband,

Or all of it like it was too much.

And I just like I had to carry on.

I had to carry on for her.

I had to become this thing.

And now all this stuff is bubbling up.

But it's like beautiful.

Like it's beautiful.

Like I'm remembering who I am.

You know,

And I realized another thing to like,

I'm still doing my walks.

By the way,

I didn't get chocolate cake the other day.

But I did get gelato that night after he told me to eat some chocolate cake.

I'm really like,

I'm trying to be softer with myself.

And,

And I realized,

Like,

My daughter went to college,

And like my dad passed away.

At the same time,

And I lost these two people who just brought me so much joy.

And I never allowed myself to feel like that loss of like this change,

You know.

So that's what's happening.

I feel more relaxed about it all.

Yeah.

So listen,

I just want to say one thing to you,

The memories coming off are what are clearing the box.

Yeah.

You don't have to fix the box.

It's like just be with the memories journal.

That will heal the box and bring you into more of the flying energy.

Okay?

Yeah,

Like,

That's what I felt yesterday.

I was just like,

I'm clear.

Like I knew I was clearing.

Like,

It's like,

Oh,

My,

I could just feel like that image.

I could just I'm like,

Oh,

My God,

This is what I did.

Okay.

So what is clear?

You see,

You don't have to fix yourself.

Your psyche is unfolding you all the time.

Just go along with it.

Just as Susan is doing.

Okay?

That is a secret.

Don't fix yourselves.

Yeah,

It was just and like,

You know,

Our business is shit and everything right now.

And I have bills coming up.

But I know I have money coming in.

But like,

I know I'm in a transition to I don't know what to do next.

There's this like job opening I could apply for and I've been putting it off putting off because I think I'll get it and I don't want it.

So it's like,

And I don't like any of our customers.

It's like I'm I have no patience.

So I don't know,

Like,

I don't know what's next.

And like Laura said,

If it's already happened,

Well,

Can you just tell me?

I kind of feel a little bit like that,

You know?

Okay,

So a couple things before I go.

Good about the memories journal,

And with the people,

The business stuff that's bothering you and everything with people,

Just just keep reminding yourself that they're divine beings to Okay,

Keep going for the higher ground.

Okay,

Even with the irritation,

Don't repress the irritation,

Feel it.

But just remind yourself that they're,

They've got their struggles.

They're divine beings to Yeah,

Keep Yeah,

Keep heading for the higher ground.

Like you're a little bit swirling in this confusion.

So yeah,

Yeah,

This is really good for the whole set saying you guys,

This directives to steer higher and go for higher ground.

And yeah,

Just be with and don't try to fix.

Yeah.

It just feels you're just have to swim through this sweet one for a while.

Just keep going.

It's good work,

Susan.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I don't thank you.

I don't so much.

This sad thing.

I mean,

I just can't tell you like what a blessing even my daughter told me I'm totally different.

She's like,

You're just so much more grounded.

Like,

I don't know.

I She's like,

Yeah.

And even I got like,

Strappy with you.

And you didn't react.

And I'm like,

I didn't even notice.

I didn't even notice.

Yeah,

It's just like,

This is return.

I know you guys,

It's just returning to the heart and returning to sanity.

That's I know,

This little island of sanity in the world.

I know.

Believe me,

I truly I get it.

I'm just wondering if Shiva my is she that here?

How are you,

Sweetie?

How are you doing?

Oh,

I'm doing okay.

I'm not even sure what to talk about.

You know,

The good things I do,

I have been happier and I have I feel like my husband and I are really sharing some nice moments.

You know,

It's kind of joyful moments.

And and that's nice.

That's fantastic.

I Yeah,

I have.

I it's been really bad weather here in Missouri.

And it's been a lot of snow and cloudy days.

So it was easy to kind of I don't know,

I just walk around the house and I mess it up.

And then I get upset with myself because it's messed up.

And then every day.

And every day I mess the house up more.

And it's been frustrating for me.

But yesterday,

After the sets on it,

We've had our first really nice day in a long time.

And I just said,

The heck with it.

You know,

I mean,

I'm human.

That's how I am.

I'm a messy person.

And so we went out and took a walk at the park and that kind of thing.

And it was it was a nice change.

Good.

So used to beating myself up for absolutely nothing.

And it's funny because I didn't realize how miserable I was making myself.

And then yesterday,

It was sort of like a light got turned on,

You know?

Okay,

Good.

Good.

I'm less of a mess.

That's you guys,

This is it.

That's it.

Good work.

Good for you.

I mean,

It sounds kind of mundane,

But it's not.

That's fantastic.

That you can be peaceable about it.

Yeah.

And it's the earth plane,

Right?

And we've got our culture,

We have so many things,

Right?

Like sometimes,

I always feel like we should be accomplishing something,

You know,

Like an hour ago by it,

And I'll be on Facebook or something.

And I'll think I didn't accomplish a thing.

And they think about the Amma says a lot,

You know,

Like,

I guess I,

I think about,

You know,

I mean,

There's been people give satsangs about she gave him such a hard time for having a messy room,

Or,

You know,

I guess those kind of messages come through.

And so I always have had this idea of perfection,

Of needing to be perfect.

And so falling so short of my goal,

That's the hard part,

You know?

So anyway,

I'm starting to think,

Yeah,

Human,

I am here to be human.

And,

And that's good.

That's good.

That's good.

It,

That will actually make it easier to be tidier.

It's this,

This more just being easier with yourself.

Okay.

It's like,

I am much tidier now than I used to be just easily.

Yeah.

Just because I,

I love myself more.

Right.

And also Shiva,

My creative people are often a little messy.

Do you know?

Bottom line?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And yeah.

No.

No being hard on yourself,

You know?

That sounds great that you went for a walk.

And you were just at peace and your husband and you are getting along better.

That's fantastic.

I read about this woman who,

She had white carpets,

And she was obsessive about cleaning.

And everybody in her family was so unhappy.

The kids were unhappy and her husband was unhappy because she was such a tidy,

Obsessive person.

And that's worse.

That's way worse,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

Well,

I'm the opposite of that.

Yeah.

And we,

You know,

We've been married 50 years.

And I don't know,

I just know we're not going to be together a lot,

Lot longer.

And so I've had this idea,

You know,

It's just time to sit back and kind of enjoy my husband.

So I think this is great.

I am like,

I'm thrilled.

This is music to my ears.

You guys are all growing.

I think way more than you realize.

We'll just complete,

But I'm pleased with all of you guys,

Like,

My hat off to the progress.

This is really,

Really good.

And,

You know,

I see the reality of it.

You might not see it as,

As much as I do.

Do you see what I mean?

I see the truth of it.

So if I'm telling you there's progress,

You know,

I don't flatter.

So,

Yeah,

I'm really pleased with the group of you,

Like,

Please take that home to your hearts,

Please.

Yeah,

Because this is kind of the bravest work you can do is facing life for the capital L.

Yeah.

So,

Okay.

Blessings,

You guys.