Don´t Leave Me Alone!

As we begin to awaken, a door opens and all we need to do is step through it.

By surrendering to the truth within we invite our best life. We already know resistance is futile and gradually learn to both observe and flow along with the events of life that come to greet us.

Instead of judging ourselves, better to choose to work with ourselves—in a gentle and patient way. Focusing on mantras can help us grow, creating the space for grace. Byron Katie’s four questions offer another powerful tool for transformation.

On this journey, our greatest fear is often the sense of feeling separate or disconnected from the Divine. But moms come running when their children cry in distress. So will the Creator. Call upon the Creator/Universe or Amma with deep longing, saying: “Don’t leave me alone!" Never stop that prayer until you receive help. You always will.

When we face this from within, we heal from the inside out. If we resist, life may bring external challenges to guide us back home.

Transcript

Amma is a fountain of grace,

Of love and grace.

And Amma is in our hearts.

It's like Amma is our soul here in human form.

She shows us our own souls.

That's what she's here for.

And to kind of round us up and bring us back.

That's what all of the really big spiritual masters,

The really big figures have done.

And,

You know,

Each one,

When they come,

They change everything.

They change the spiritual understanding.

They change the societies.

They change,

Actually,

How human beings look at reality.

So,

You know,

We had the Old Testament.

I mean,

Just sticking with the West here.

We had the Old Testament,

And God was a judging God.

And then Jesus came,

And he brought the comforting energy.

He was the comforter.

And the New Testament,

Which was gentler,

More forgiving.

And now we have Amma,

Who hugs us and activates our divinity.

Right.

And that is what my intent with these satsangs are,

To activate your divinity.

It is actually sort of the way that the unconditional love flows through me is there's a gift of empowering people so that they go,

Oh,

I can do it too.

Right.

Because I was talking yesterday that many of us have been taught to be so passive.

So we don't realize that we can save ourselves.

You know,

Anybody who wakes up,

They see the opportunity to wake up.

They see that they can do it.

It's like a door opens,

And we awaken.

So sometimes we have to be a little patient waiting for the door to open.

But when the door opens,

You need to go through it.

You need to go,

I'm doing this.

I'm doing this,

This life.

I wanted to talk a little bit.

Yesterday,

There were two people talking about rocks in their hearts.

And you know what the rocks are,

I suspect,

Just going from my own experience.

It's like when we experience life as rocky,

Because we don't know how to be in the flow.

Okay,

We're still a little bit too much in our heads.

So we're judging and analyzing.

And it can make our lives feel rocky.

I really remember when my life was rocky.

And it altered as I,

It's like,

You come into the flow of the love.

And then it's no longer rocky.

And you just flow along in the love,

You flow,

Your life flows.

It's like you're not doing it.

You're flowing.

Premasudha does nothing,

Really.

I just observe and flow.

Yeah.

So if you just get the rockiness,

It's just because you're,

It's just too heady.

And you cannot grow it.

And actually,

Both people are massively moving into flow very quickly.

You know,

Sometimes,

Okay,

I'll tell you,

The way I heard about Amma,

This is sort of about money,

And about our nervousness about money.

The way I heard about Amma was,

There were these people I came alongside who had started up a hemp business of making hemp and,

You know,

Growing it and packaging it.

And I met them,

And I worked with them spiritually.

But they told me about Amma.

And as soon as I heard her name,

I just went into this altered state.

And I just knew I had to meet this woman overwhelmingly.

But you know,

They never went to see Amma,

Because the guy who was the president of this hemp company was scared that he wouldn't be a good businessman if he went to see Amma.

It was sort of like,

You know,

He was scared that,

You know,

She'd be kryptonite to his Superman,

That he wouldn't be able to be like a tough businessman.

It's like,

Oh my god,

He would have done so much better if he had just seen Amma.

Right?

Yeah.

So,

You know,

In our attachment to our business lives or money and everything,

Just remember that surrender to the truth within you will give you everything you ever wanted.

And sometimes,

You know,

If we're,

You know,

If the universe wants us to like really grow,

And we're resisting it,

We're holding on to our money,

Sometimes we can lose our money in order for us to like,

Be ready to surrender.

You know,

You just,

You know,

The only safety is in surrender,

Is I just want to say this,

And you become very happy.

You know,

So,

I mean,

The whole thing is so humorous,

In kind of a,

In kind of a sad way,

You know,

I mean,

It's humorous,

But it's sad,

Because most of us have trouble surrendering.

But I just wanted to say this about money and business.

Okay,

There's other things I want to talk about.

Mantras.

So,

When we say our mantra,

We are signaling our souls and our heads that we're wanting to make more space between us and our thoughts.

You see,

So most of us walk around,

And we have our thoughts,

We don't experience that there's any space between us and our thoughts.

But in fact,

You know,

And lots of people think they are their thoughts.

But,

You know,

Amma says,

All the thoughts come through her to us.

So,

They,

You know,

They're in a way,

They're outside us.

They're not us.

So,

If you focus a lot on saying your mantra,

What you'll find is that you,

You will get a lot of grace.

You just do.

Anytime you do,

Anytime you do a spiritual practice that makes you suffer at all,

You know,

Like having to remember,

Having to put the effort into saying it,

You know,

It's kind of suffering,

Or doing the thousand names is kind of like effort,

A bit of suffering.

You,

They're called austerities.

And you,

They grow you.

In the,

In the Eastern spiritual traditions,

This is how we grow through these austerities.

So,

Mantras are really,

Really fertile ground if you want to come into your heart more.

Okay,

Now,

But we're Westerners.

So,

I wanted to give you another tool.

And it will do the same thing as mantras.

So,

You can work on it this way.

And it may appear,

Appeal to people who are more,

I don't know how to put it,

Who are more heady.

I,

You know,

Like I'm intellectual in a way,

But I'm,

I'm really based in my heart.

And I always was,

Even though I,

I was intellectual,

But some people are,

Their way is just more heady.

That's the way they are.

And even when they really wake up,

They're a bit like this.

So,

Anyway,

Some of you will know this about Byron Katie's four questions to ask yourself about your thoughts.

But if you don't know about it,

I was,

I wanted to tell you so you could explore it,

Because it will do the same thing as saying your mantra,

I feel.

Okay,

So the four questions are,

When we have a thought,

The first question is,

Is it true?

Second question,

Can we absolutely know that it's true?

Third question,

How do we react?

And what happens when we believe that thought?

You know,

What happens inside?

How do we feel?

And who would be,

We be without that thought?

See,

So these four questions are to help make space between you and your thoughts.

So,

Is it true?

I mean,

Here's,

Here's a simple example,

You know,

I mean,

Here's a really kindergarten level example.

Okay,

What is a thought that I have?

Well,

You know,

Somebody might go,

Okay,

I'm,

I'm fat.

Is this true?

Well,

Maybe there's 20 pounds overweight,

Or 10 kilos overweight.

Can we absolutely know it's true?

Well,

I guess in some cultures,

It wouldn't be considered overweight.

Maybe in,

You know,

Hollywood,

It would be.

How do we react?

What happens when we believe that thought?

Maybe face burns with shame,

Feel like not attractive,

Feel not valuable.

And then who would we be without that thought?

So,

Okay,

If I walked around without thinking I was fat,

Per se,

Just without that thought,

I might feel happier.

That's not,

It's not the greatest example.

This actually never really worked for me,

Particularly just because I'm so body based and attuned to my insides.

But I wanted to offer it to you.

So you could explore it because some of you guys might find it helpful.

Okay,

And it's Byron Katie's been around for a while and her work is easy accessible.

Okay,

Good.

This is good.

You know,

The West,

We,

We have our own brilliance,

You know,

We have our own valuable things.

Like I'm always say the Westerners,

They brought recycling to the to the ashram.

Now we're really good with some of this stuff.

Well,

Byron Katie's come up with her own original solution to become free of her thoughts.

And it's of great value.

So we can use it all.

I used everything as I went along.

I want you guys to remember,

It will help free you from the spiritual ego if you just open up and to information just beyond the regular spiritual realm.

You know,

Because some people might have trouble with the mantra,

But they might do those four questions quite easily.

And then,

And they might do the mantra later.

It's whatever works,

You guys.

Look,

Please,

The main thing I'm trying to tell you is don't judge yourself.

Don't judge yourself.

Just work with yourself.

So if you can't do it one way,

Try another way.

Don't go,

I'm never going to get anywhere spiritually,

Because I can't do my mantra.

I don't have the energy for it.

You could do these four questions.

Yeah,

Be really flexible.

If you know,

If I can't go forward in one,

Along one road,

I just shift over and try another way.

I've always been like that.

Right.

You know,

The main thing,

The main danger on the spiritual journey,

Which isn't even a danger,

It's just what we have to face is,

You know,

When separation comes up,

And we feel alone and lost,

Like Anna was talking about yesterday,

Feeling like nowhere.

And I pointed out that nowhere spells now here.

So we have a choice between whether we're walking around in alienation,

Feeling that we're nowhere,

Or coming into the present,

Coming into our bodies and being now here.

Right.

And do I know that feeling of being nowhere?

I do.

I remember once being pretty,

Not feeling good and driving out to Richmond,

To an old friend's house,

And getting hopelessly lost,

Even though I knew these neighborhoods.

And I just felt like I was driving around a maze.

And,

You know,

It was my maze of my intellect.

I was stuck in.

Yeah,

So I got an experience of being lost in the labyrinth,

You know,

And I was feeling like really cuckoo,

Like,

What's the matter with me?

It was sort of like the Twilight Zone.

But we all have these weird experiences,

But they're always just showing us,

You know,

The thing that Premasuddha did was I noticed these things,

And I'd make connections and I go,

Well,

This is like my labyrinth of my intellect.

But coming back to the thing we're most scared of facing,

And the thing that we really need to learn how to face are those feelings of being alone,

Of being separate from the universe,

Being exiled.

I remember once feeling that I was on the other side of the universe,

You know,

I was at the far reaches of the end of the universe.

It's like intense feelings of alienation and separation.

Okay,

So what I'm recommending that you do is this prayer,

And Amma was just talking about it.

Like,

She either was talking about it,

Or I read it in one of her books just in the past few days.

It's a bit of a,

It's a bit of a,

Like,

I don't know which,

But she,

It was like she was saying the prayer should be,

Don't leave me alone.

Your prayer to Amma,

The prayer to the Creator,

Don't leave me alone.

And that directly invites the Creator to come in on your deepest feelings of being separate and help you.

Most of you guys avoid that deeper levels of work,

Of facing yourselves and facing your fear,

And I understand why.

But on the other hand,

It's the last call of the last call,

Right,

As we were talking about.

So you can,

If you do say,

Like,

Don't ever leave me alone,

It really means it.

And if you feel that kind of separation,

Start calling on her.

Amma,

You said you'd never leave me alone.

You promised you'd never leave me alone,

Or the Creator,

If you don't know Amma.

You know,

Jesus,

Krishna,

Buddha,

Whoever.

The mean thing is,

You call on and say,

Don't leave me alone,

And don't let yourself get lost in separation.

Some of you guys get lost in it,

And you panic,

And you get really heady.

And you're going to have to get brave,

Because it's just your ego.

But I really want you to get that if you really open to the Creator,

And you really say,

Creator,

Don't leave me alone,

You'll get helped in the deepest,

Darkest part of your wounding.

Remember,

I said to you about the Los Angeles guys who,

Like,

Set up their own,

Like,

$30 fire sprinkler set in their houses,

And then these houses survive.

This is your $30 sprinkler set for your well-being,

To protect your well-being.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

Any mother,

There's a pitch when a child calls,

And mothers will come running.

Really,

Even kind of the worst mother will come running when there's this particular pitch of a child who's really in trouble.

And the same works with the Creator.

There's a level of,

When we get into a pitch of pain,

There's a level that the Creator is just,

Will be so there for you.

But some of you are kind of a little bit,

Want to walk around in your pain,

So.

I know,

I know.

We're used to it.

We've probably had it many lifetimes.

It's a very familiar story.

But it doesn't have to remain that way.

You just call on the Creator from there.

So,

Jenna,

What's going on with you right now?

I'm relating to everything that you're saying.

I feel lost and scared.

And I had messaged you earlier in the week that I,

What my experience in the world right now feels like,

What I feel like Alma is showing me and what is coming up is my identity around really everything.

I mean,

I think any self-concept that I've had.

But this week,

It's around being a teacher,

Around being a musician.

And I feel scared that I'm in this space of learning what non-attachment is.

Yeah,

You are.

And it feels like I'm dying.

You know,

It feels like my whole.

Yeah,

Sure,

You are.

Yeah,

It's an ego death.

Right.

Yeah,

You know,

I know.

I mean,

I'm.

Sweetie,

I know how real the pain is,

But it's sort of like,

Well,

The really scary thing would be like not to grow for 40 years,

You know,

And to be old with having not grown.

That would be scary.

Or also,

What would be scary is going through this on your,

You know,

On your own without support.

Right.

You see,

I think you're one of the big candidates who needs to learn this call to Alma,

Don't leave me alone.

Yeah,

I was saying that when you said that.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah,

You really need to.

Because,

Sweetheart,

It doesn't have to be so hard.

I mean,

Obviously,

It does because it is.

But if you just understand that.

It can get a lot easier,

Quicker.

Yeah.

OK,

Yeah.

Yeah,

This is you reminding me,

I was so like what you do.

I was just like,

Oh,

Man.

Yeah,

You know,

Really,

It's the extent of your disowned power.

You see,

If if we got a lot of love power and we disowned it.

Then our pain is really heavy.

Yeah.

So the other side of this is a lot of love power that will be absolutely joyful for you,

But it will take some time.

I really,

Really believe you when you say that.

And that's the thing that is is keeping me,

You know,

I'm taking every bit of advice that you are telling us.

And I've got,

You know,

These books from Alma.

And good,

Good.

Yeah.

What happens,

You see,

Our bodies,

The hard part is that our bodies are used to this alienation.

Not only our emotions and everything,

Our bodies are used to it.

And so it's habitual.

We keep going back there.

That's why every time I go to get body work,

I'd always think,

Well,

I'm going higher now.

I'm going higher.

I was you guys,

If you knew how weedy I was with myself,

I'd be in all this pain and I go,

I'm going higher now.

I'm going higher.

And that's where all this trust came from,

Because it did work.

Yeah.

Yep,

That you guys,

All of you guys that called Alma,

Don't leave me alone.

And as you start feeling her coming in closer.

You know,

If you feel like if it works,

If you,

You know,

Really do it and you let it work.

Right.

It could be quite seamless to let it work because this work is will help support you.

We're not alone,

You guys,

I'm surrounded by angels all the time.

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm just we're,

You know,

Your soul is witnessing you all the time,

Like calm is witnessing you.

Your soul is witnessing you like.

And they're angels protecting you,

And there's just.

You know,

I mean,

I can I can basically I mean,

All the people who passed over sort of like,

They're all in the room with me,

You know,

Anytime I want to talk to somebody who's passed over,

I just like start speaking with them.

It's just we're all one.

You guys,

It's all love.

This separation,

Though,

You see,

We're in the West because we focus outward in order to turn inward.

We have to learn to move through separation,

You guys,

And this is why I'm raising it.

When you turn and start going inward,

All the separation in your conditioning from your early years will come up where you didn't feel loved or acknowledged,

And you have to learn how to go through it.

You can't force it,

But just know that when it comes up,

That it's just a transitory state,

And it's taking you into a bonded universe.

Right now,

We're,

We're kind of in this alienated universe,

And when you start bonding,

Allowing yourself to bond to your true nature,

And letting yourself be loved by your true nature,

You start experiencing life as a bonded experience.

So you walk around like a well-loved three-year-old.

Does anybody remember,

You know,

The happiness?

I remember like when I was three,

Kind of how magic everything seemed,

And this is what premasutha has been returned to.

But premasutha had terrible,

Terrible,

Terrible separation to face,

And that's why I do this work with you guys,

Because I can't stand the thought of somebody being stuck with it.

Yeah,

Yeah,

That's so sweet,

Jenna.

You're just like a little kid.

Yeah,

Yeah.

It's just like when somebody turned the lights on after a scary story,

The little kid goes,

Yeah,

Thank God.

Yeah.

You just need to,

You know,

Prove to yourself that God exists,

So you have to have the experience of moving through separation yourself,

And get the proof of it.

Every time you do it,

Your faith will get stronger and stronger.

It takes time.

You can't force it.

Please don't force it.

But if you just know,

If you just hear what I'm saying,

That you,

If you're feeling alone and lost,

It's ego.

It's not true.

You know,

It's the same,

Like,

It's like that,

You know,

Those four questions.

Is it true?

This lost alienation feeling?

Do we absolutely know it's true?

Well,

It feels like it,

But maybe it's not true.

How do we react?

What happens when we believe the thought that we're all alone,

Lost and alienated?

Well,

We all know how we feel.

And how would we be without that thought?

Well,

We might be a lot happier.

But you have to go through the experiences,

You guys.

It's like,

We,

It's one time we have to paddle our canoe,

And Amma says that you have to walk out on thin ice sometimes to test.

So some of you guys,

And this is where I'm getting really tough with you now.

You stand at a very familiar place and then call on me to help you through it.

And I'm not doing that anymore.

You go through it.

The ones who have,

Who have habitually called me at a certain spot,

And one person emailed and said that she had,

After being kind of pushed back by me,

That she had a big experience of connecting,

Connecting up in the middle of the night,

A big kind of experience of transmission of divine energy.

That's how it happens,

You guys.

So even when I step back and seem to abandon you,

I'm never abandoning you.

I'm always working with you energetically.

Again,

I'm going to come back.

It's like the guys that put this,

Like their homemade sprinkler system on the house.

We have to learn how to do that.

You have to kind of learn how to go through wobbly times and come out stronger.

It's not something that can be forced or even figured out with your head.

You'll just feel into it.

You'll just do it.

It's like anybody who comes to the ashram,

Like everybody's scared to come to the ashram the first time.

It's the same principle,

But you come anyway because you want to meet Amma.

Maybe the food's weird or you get allergies or maybe you get stomach flu or something.

Oh well,

You didn't die.

It's all good.

I remember when I was 25,

I went to England to be a journalist.

Really,

I was just running,

You guys.

I was just running away from myself internally and externally.

I was getting myself in England so I could get away from my family and not have to be accountable to their ideas of how I should live.

I get to England.

I just started in journalism.

I didn't do a university degree in journalism.

I got in the side door through an advertising job,

But I just had a couple of years experience.

I decided I'd go to England.

They had a big depression in the newspapers as soon as I arrived,

So it took me six months to get a job.

Yeah.

It was kind of an experience of how running doesn't work and how dealing with things from the outside in doesn't work.

You know,

I did finally get a job,

But if I could have gone inside at 25,

If I'd met a wise woman or a wise man who could have helped turn me around so I could have started to look inside myself,

It might have saved a lot of effort.

Some of you guys are still running from the inside a bit.

It's okay.

But what I was going to say is I remember on the plane being scared to death of what I was doing,

But then the plane landed and I was on solid ground and I just got off the plane and continued on in my life and dealt with London.

It was okay.

It was all like just a flow,

Seamless.

There was nothing to be scared of.

You know,

Your life is a success if tomorrow you wake up and you're breathing.

I mean it.

If you're alive tomorrow morning,

That's success,

You know?

Get a nice cup of coffee.

Dhamma is with you.

I'm with you.

I've rattled you a bit with this talk of separation,

But you see,

We either face it inside or we get faced with it on the outside.

So,

Like the LA people,

Los Angeles people are getting faced with separation,

The experience of separation coming from the outside.

But if you're facing it from the inside,

You would be one of the guys who put the sprinkler system on your house or your house magically just didn't burn.

Some of them just didn't burn.

Sometimes the fire just skipped houses.

There'll be a reason why the fire skipped those houses.

You're not coming along with me and this is not a fault thing.

It's nobody's fault.

It's not your fault or my fault,

But I'm just noticing.

I'm noticing the feeling of nobody's coming along with me.

But then I've been talking about separation,

So it's kind of not surprising.

Yeah,

Really.

This is where I feel compassion for all human beings because we all experience these feelings of separation,

But they're not true.

They're just our alienation and for some reason we chose to be born into this society,

This Western world that's got heightened alienation.

It's getting worse.

I guess stuff gets worse until it gets better.

I've been talking this way for 40 years,

So I know that this one wasn't maybe quite as loving in the old days,

But there was quite a lot of love coming through me and not many people listening.

So,

More people are listening because more of us are in pain.

That's it.

And you guys,

It's not the end of the world if you're in pain.

You can just feel it.

If you just turn and feel it,

And kind of get interested in what does it feel like to be in this amount of pain,

What's going on in my thoughts,

What's going on in my body.

Yeah,

That's it.

Then,

You know,

When you turn and face it like that,

50% of the pain is removed.

Any pain you're in is just showing you where you're disconnected from truth,

From the love inside you.

And the pain is the universe's way of bringing you back to yourself.

It's sort of like we wouldn't know that we were walking on a road of nails if we didn't feel the punctures in our foot.

So,

The pain lets us know there's a problem.

From Masuda?

Yeah.

Ruth,

Go ahead.

There you are.

I have a strange,

I don't know if it's a question or just wondering if you have an observation.

Occasionally,

Sometimes it'll go for months,

Maybe even years,

And then I will have these dreams about my childhood home,

And there's a feeling of they don't want me there.

There's a feeling of rejection.

In my conscious life,

I've done a lot of work on this,

And I don't feel bad about it at all.

I don't feel that in real life anymore.

But in the dreams,

It's still there.

It's this feeling that I'm not wanted,

And I wake up feeling full of fear.

And then it goes away after a little bit,

But I'm just wondering if you had any thoughts.

First of all,

I want to say,

Can I just ask about Corrie?

Oh,

Much better.

Much,

Much better.

So,

Ruth,

I've got him on the prayer list,

But after this month,

It's just for a month,

And you have to put him on the prayer list for every month at the beginning of each month to keep the prayers going.

Okay?

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

And part of the reason I raised this,

It gave me a little time to think about your question.

So,

With your parents,

Did they want you?

Yeah,

Kind of,

But I think,

I mean,

I came 364 days after my sister,

So I don't think they wanted me that soon.

Okay.

My mom had two babies to take care of,

So.

Right.

Yeah,

Really soon.

And were,

Are you the,

Was your sister the eldest,

And you the?

Yeah,

I'm the second of four.

Okay.

Okay.

And this dream has been reoccurring throughout your life?

Well,

For a long time.

I don't really recall how long.

Certainly 10,

At least 10,

Maybe 20 years.

Okay.

Similar,

Different scenarios,

But it's always that same feeling.

I don't belong here,

They don't want me.

Right.

Right.

So,

I'm just going to feel into this.

What do you think about it?

I think that my,

There's still that feeling somewhere deep down inside.

I don't think it's completely healed yet.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know how,

Because I'm not feeling it consciously,

So.

And are they,

They're,

They're dead now,

Are they?

Yeah.

Your mom and dad?

Yeah.

And when they died,

Were you on good terms with them,

Or not?

Uh,

Well,

Me,

Somewhere in between with both.

I mean,

They've,

There were issues.

I mean,

There was a lot of emotional distance,

Very little self-awareness from them.

Some,

Definitely some emotional and,

And verbal abuse,

Maybe a little physical,

I,

Is,

Too.

Like when you were little,

Or,

Or like before they died?

When I was little,

I think.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I mean,

You know,

In my experience,

It,

Does the dream have a powerful quality to it?

Has it got a little bit of a,

I'm just asking,

Or does it just like a regular dream?

No,

No,

It's very,

Very strong.

It's like,

It's like fear.

It's like,

I have to,

It's like when I was a kid,

I always had to feel like I had to sneak around and be careful and,

And,

You know,

Not,

Not upset the parents,

You know,

That kind of thing.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah,

Because I,

I,

For a period in my life,

I had these really big,

Kind of core wounding dreams,

And they were more,

They had a mythic quality.

It was more than just a dream.

It was powerful.

So,

You know,

Yeah,

I think it's kind of the unhealed core wounding.

Yeah,

I think so.

Yeah.

Okay,

So this is exactly what I'm talking about,

Learning how to,

How to move through,

Through feelings of separation.

Okay,

So one of the things I would recommend is I would go into that dream.

And I would start,

You know,

Doing active dreaming,

I would start changing it around.

Okay,

So that to make it something that you're happy about,

Either,

You know,

Your parents being really good to you,

And loving you,

Or however,

I don't know how you how you would play into that,

Or just changing the climate,

The emotional climate,

Just playing in that.

And,

You know,

I would,

You know,

Lie down on my bed and really go in there and do it.

Okay.

Yeah.

And certainly,

If you have the dream,

Again,

Do it immediately,

Several times.

But you can also do it with that you're with the intention that you're alerting your psyche that you're wanting this to be healed now,

That you're opening up.

Yeah,

Or to allow the love in.

Because I see sweetie pie,

You're really,

Really loved.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

Consciously,

You know,

When I'm awake,

I feel pretty good most of the time.

And I and I often feel like I'm loved.

It's getting better,

Stronger.

But yeah,

This is Yeah.

You see,

We Westerners,

You know,

We're,

We're so focused outside.

So,

You know,

The inner work,

There's maybe more inner work to be done than we realize,

Just because we're,

We're so focused on the outside.

Well,

I also,

I've started writing about my past again,

I've been doing it on and off.

And I feel the need to write about my past,

Although I haven't gone that far backwards,

But maybe eventually,

I need to do that.

Yeah,

It's one of the things I recommend.

I wrote my past out about 30 times.

Yeah.

But there's something that you need some comfort around this.

It's very healable,

Ruth.

Sweet one.

It's very healable.

Yeah.

I want you to really get that.

Yeah,

This is what this work is about is this level of healing.

Yeah,

This level of deep healing.

Yeah.

And your house can be full of light and warmth.

And you can live in that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah,

It takes a little this is where you see,

You have to find the will to do it.

Because they'll be the habitual thing of all this is our life is and but this work is to go beyond that it's it's to weave in the divine,

It's to bond with the universe,

You guys.

You see,

You can all go along with me when I'm giving kind of a lecture,

But when it comes down to you,

And your dream and your life,

Then it's harder,

Maybe.

But yeah,

Yeah.

Right.

But just go,

Me too.

I mean,

That's how simple it is.

You just turn and start reimagining this,

This house and what went on in it.

And sweetie,

I promise you your psyche,

Your unconscious will take the cues and from you about which way you're going.

Your subconscious if you signal to your unconscious,

And you keep doing this consistently that you want a big healing here,

Your subconscious will start the process of a healing.

I promise you this is what I've lived.

Yeah,

We just have to get over our passivity.

You guys,

We have to put the sprinklers up on our house.

This is my biggest obstacle with working with you guys is this passivity of kind of,

Oh,

I don't know that would work for me.

I don't know.

And I'm kind of like,

Just demand that it works.

That's what I did.

I just didn't give the universe an option.

I went,

I'm healing.

I am getting out of here.

I'm healing.

So Ruth,

If you did,

If you did heal from this,

You know,

You imagine the house being a happy house,

And this sets in motion some deep changes.

What is,

Tell me the thing that's bad about that.

What would you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh boy.

It would be like some really core part of myself would be gone.

Right.

Very strange,

I guess.

Yeah.

Because I repeated this feeling in my waking life often.

Oh,

People don't want me here.

You know,

I don't,

I don't belong,

That sort of thing.

Right.

You see,

This is it.

But the thing is,

We get a year older and we get a year older.

Yeah.

Yep.

And,

You know,

Oh,

I've so felt like that.

Yeah.

That's why,

You know,

The only safe place for me was God.

It was kind of Zama.

It's the only safe place I found.

And then once I was safe,

I could turn to you guys and offer this pretty unconditionally.

So I don't,

I'm not invested.

You know,

I don't get my feelings hurt.

If you do,

If you don't go along with it,

It's like,

It's OK.

It's like I'm not attached.

But I hope you take it in because it hurt.

It saddens me.

It hurts my heart to see your broken hearts,

You guys.

Well.

I don't know if you.

I wrote this,

I was listening to one of the talks and I and I wrote a comment that when you talked about holding the baby yourself,

Baby,

And I really I did it.

I mean,

I felt it.

So I'm wondering maybe the dreams won't come back after then.

Right.

Well,

I'll tell you,

Keep keep doing it.

I mean,

I held my baby a million times.

OK.

OK.

OK,

So.

Yeah,

I mean,

It's like as you signal.

As you signal that you're wanting to grow out of this,

The dreams will stop,

I promise you.

And that feeling of holding the baby that you had,

That is a bonding.

And often what happens right after that is the ego will shake us,

Our chains get rattled.

But you just keep,

You know,

Alma,

Don't leave me alone.

You know,

Come to me,

Come to me,

Help me,

Help me.

And and you get through it.

And then and you experience what it's like to be more bonded to the universe.

So may you just keep doing what you're doing,

Ruth.

OK,

Because I remember reading your comment and being really pleased that somebody got it so deeply about what I was meaning.

It was pretty amazing because I always thought when I used to think about my inner child and oh,

Love your inner child.

And I would be like,

Oh,

Gross,

You know,

And this time it was different.

Thought that you could think,

Oh,

Oh,

Gross to your inner child.

Oh,

I'm glad it's changed.

That's so sad,

Sweet one.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I'm glad it's changed.

I'm glad you're picking up the baby.

She's your divine baby.

Yeah,

She's the Buddha baby.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's,

You know,

And we're in a patriarchy.

So,

You know,

For women to turn and love their baby self to take something,

But we just got to do it,

You know.

And it makes life much happier.

And,

Sweetie,

Your wisdom will go way up.

Yeah,

Actually,

I'm feeling that.

OK,

I'm feeling that.

I'm feeling that you're going to continue with this.

And I can feel that your that your wisdom is going to really open up.

OK,

Ruth,

So it's it's it's it's a done deal.

It's already happened.

I can feel it.

Yeah,

You're going to continue it.

Yeah,

There you go.

There you go.

You take one step to to the creator.

The creator takes 100 steps to you.

Yeah.

Yeah,

That's really good.

We don't have to do much.

You know,

It's just like that.

You came forward.

You talked about your dream.

You had the experience of picking up the baby.

You've been validated by me.

And suddenly I felt that you were going to,

Like,

Make a real shift.

Yeah.

Just keep going.

You know,

The universe,

It's stacked for us.

We feel like it's stacked against us,

But it's stacked for us.

Please,

Please.

Realize this.

It's stacked for us.

You won't see it,

Maybe until you like,

You know,

Move through some of the separation.

And then you'll see.

How I'll tell you something.

OK,

Here I'll tell you something happened to me.

So when I was raising the boys,

I by the time they were in grade 12,

I was I had huge credit card debt.

And but and they've been some developers have been talking about buying my property.

And like,

Really,

70000 credit card debt,

It was stupid.

But anyway.

And.

Some developers were talking about buying the property and they did.

And then just before the contract closed.

I had them put in a codicil saying that.

If the property values went up in the three months that was going to happen before I got the payment.

That they had to pay me that percentage points and Vancouver property raised went up by 15 percent in this three month period.

So I got this extra and it was pure listening to the universe,

Pure listening to the universe.

And that's how I was helped out of my seventy five thousand dollar credit card debt.

Yeah.

And listen,

I just went a lick and a promise and praying like mad.

That was my.

Yeah.

That was my.

That's what I did.

Licking a promise,

Trying to serve love,

Praying like mad.

Right.

There's some.

You're getting showered with.

Golden.

Dust.

Sparkles.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And there's a very loving energy coming in behind you.

OK,

Good.

Now,

This is where you guys walk forward.

You know how solid this is.

It's 40 years.

I've written books.

People's illnesses go.

So just go.

Yes.

Ruth,

Just go like,

OK,

She's just telling the truth.

It sounds like a bit flaky,

But it's just the real truth.

OK.

And then you will make it into this promised land where Prima Sudha lives.

Yeah,

That's it.

OK,

And please contact me again if you need any more support.

OK.

OK,

Good.

OK.

Good.

Anybody else?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

OK.

I'm looking for you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just want to say I got a lot out of what you did yesterday of removing the negative energies.

You know,

It was very powerful for me.

And I have spent a lot of time now just imagining inviting God in.

You know,

When I when I see the bhajans where,

You know,

It would always be,

Don't leave me,

Don't leave me.

And I'd always think I'd always think she hasn't left me.

I'm the one that's not inviting her back in.

And I've just you know,

I had this I very similar to Ruth.

I was born right after my sister and they had a hard time accepting,

You know,

That I mean,

They just weren't ready for another baby.

It wasn't evil.

It just they weren't ready.

And and I carried that wound and I have just put up enormous.

I realize now I just kept my mom away.

You know,

Like if you don't want me,

I don't want you.

And I've carried that into my relationship with Amma.

I'm afraid of her.

I don't want to,

You know,

Be humiliated.

And anyway,

I spent a lot of time yesterday,

You know,

Out loud because I read that,

You know,

To verbalize it was so important because God is it won't come without being invited,

You know.

So I spent a lot of time inviting and I feel so much better.

I feel so much more at peace.

And I'm grateful that you did that yesterday.

Shivamayee,

You're so aligned that you were focusing on that bhajan,

The one that I talked about today.

So you were focusing on that.

But I mentioned today where Amma says,

Don't leave me alone.

You were thinking about that yesterday.

Yes.

Yeah,

There are so many bhajans like that,

You know,

Where you beg Amma not to leave.

And I always think,

She hasn't left me.

You know,

She hasn't left me.

I've left her,

You know.

But that's just the ego,

You know.

It's my inner part that's afraid.

I feel a real shift.

I truly do.

Yeah,

You've had a big breakthrough.

This is fantastic.

And,

You know,

Even though,

You know,

You'd say,

Well,

In the old days,

You felt like you'd left her,

But really,

We can never leave her.

We can't really leave her.

Even if we're stuck in our egos,

We haven't left her,

Not really.

We're just deluded by our thoughts,

Right?

But she's still in our bodies.

She's still in our hearts.

We can't leave her.

Do you see,

We can just think that way.

We can just feel separate,

But we're never separate.

Shivamayi,

This is actually one of my dreams come true,

That you would see this and make the shift.

This actually has been one of my prayers,

Shivamayi.

Really,

I feel very grateful and relieved.

I was just going to say,

You know,

When I always want to do the IAM meditation,

And then I beat myself up because I don't do the IAM meditation.

And then I,

You know,

Yada,

Yada.

And yesterday,

I did it.

This morning,

I did it.

So,

I'm hoping that maybe that obstacle is,

You know,

Is removed,

That I can find the peace within myself to do it,

You know.

So,

Anyway,

Thank you very,

Very much for yesterday.

It was good for me.

Well,

Yeah.

And now you've found it.

So,

You've got it.

So,

You can return to it,

You know.

If,

You know,

Sometimes we might lose it again,

But you know what it feels like.

So,

You can come back to it.

That's the important thing.

And it builds,

Then you,

The bondedness builds,

And it gets stronger and stronger,

Stronger and stronger.

I can feel the shift.

You're fed up with resisting.

You're tired of resisting Amma and the Creator.

I can feel it.

It's like you don't even have the energy to fight Amma anymore.

It's like,

And why would you,

Right?

Yeah.

You know,

If the time comes when you,

You know,

With IAM,

Great,

Great.

For myself,

I would,

I would keep it very flexible.

So,

If I couldn't do one thing,

I would try doing another.

You know,

If I couldn't do a meditation,

I'd say my mantra.

And then,

Just to keep it flexible,

So that you're not judging yourself.

I,

You'll figure it out in just the best way.

I feel you're on your way,

Shiva.

My,

Really,

This is my,

This is a dream come true for me.

So,

I'm very happy.

You see,

You guys,

I've got these prayers going out for you guys.

I'm rooting for you.

Deeply rooting for you.

With all my heart.

Yeah.

And Shiva Maya,

You have changed a lot since I met you.

Do you remember?

Shiva Maya,

At the beginning,

She thought I was flaky,

Right?

Shiva Maya,

You thought I was out there,

Right?

You still are flaky.

It's flaky,

Like Amma's flaky.

Because when you're in unconditional love,

You see how magic everything is.

And I know it sounds flaky,

But it's absolutely magical.

Yeah.

Yeah,

What is,

Amma call herself a crazy girl.

Yeah.

We're the ones who are crazy.

The,

The awakened people just see true reality.

And they go,

You who,

Come on.

Yeah.

Is anybody else got a question or comment?

Hi,

I wanted to say something.

Yeah,

Veronica,

Go for it.

I am so grateful that we had like the big clearing yesterday,

Because I felt a huge weight lifted off of me at that time.

And then today,

Talking about,

You know,

You're never alone.

Amma's always there.

You just have to turn to her.

I felt myself turn more towards what lights me up.

Physically,

You know,

I physically moved my body that way.

Yeah,

I can feel it.

I can feel it.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah,

This was really,

Really awesome.

Yeah.

Well,

Thank you guys.

You know,

We're all we're all a work of art together.

You know,

It's we're bringing all our energies.

But Veronica,

I just want to say to you that I don't feel you have a lot of resistance to making these changes,

These gradual changes.

So it's like all systems go.

Sweet one.

I'm on it.

Yeah,

You're you're.

Yeah,

You're flowing.

It's good.

Stay in touch if you need.

Yeah.

Oh,

This is you guys.

This is my dream come true.

You know,

The sad sayings.

This is.

It's my idea of heaven,

Really.

Yeah,

It's true.

A premise.

Yeah.

Susan,

By the way,

It's premise Suda.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Premise Suda.

Well,

I just premise.

Look,

I'm not saying you do this,

But there's somebody who keeps calling me premise Suda.

And really what he's doing is he's discounting me.

Like he just and he won't he won't correct.

So it's premise Suda.

And he's saying,

You know,

So that's why I'm catching it.

Okay,

So I appreciate it.

Yeah,

Say premise Suda.

Yeah.

Yeah,

That's it.

Okay,

Good.

No,

It's all good.

What's up?

No,

I appreciate that.

No,

I just wanted.

I wanted to tell you how grateful I am for the satsang and to everybody.

I've been listening to a lot of recordings.

And they're just more and more.

I feel like I know everybody and it's like beautiful.

It's just beautiful.

And I wanted to say that last Sunday before satsang I took my daughter to the airport to fly to Los Angeles.

She goes to college there.

Oh,

Goodness.

Well,

I felt complete peace about all of it.

Like it was so in my heart,

Like the whole thing and her travel there was good.

The area she's in is not affected.

There was like an amazing parent on the Facebook group who lives in Santa Clarita,

Where she is offering assistance,

Support,

Observation.

It was just like so much grace.

And like,

You know,

Things with my company have been like strange.

So like,

You know,

We don't have a lot of emergency fund,

Like funds lying around if something goes wrong.

So it's a lot of faith for me to send her there.

But I just felt such like calm,

Joy.

And I've been feeling it like through all of this.

And then after she left,

Of course,

I was really feeling down.

And then yesterday,

Because she's like my little butterfly,

And we talk about all these things.

And so I was just feeling sad,

Just sad.

And then yesterday,

You just lifted it.

It just lifted.

And I just noticed a lot of changes in my my relationships with people.

That friend of mine with her depressive negativity,

I was like,

I'm able I'm just letting go.

I'm letting go.

It's like,

I prayed I would be like you like with your patients because there was an there was the I just wanted to have a sword out and cut people's heads off if they were like negative around me.

Like I just made me so like upset because I know it was like showing me my own problem with negativity.

And I'm just feeling at peace around it.

And I'm not being called I don't have to fix anyone.

I'm just praying to Amma.

I'm listening.

I'm just listening.

What works for me the the mantras or I'm a heady person.

So the mantras kind of get stuck and become rote for me.

But like what's and I know Byron Katie,

I love those questions.

I do forget about them.

But the subliminals are what really helped me.

Yeah.

Yeah,

You know,

To like get distance from that,

Those thoughts.

So I just do a lot of that.

A lot of good,

A lot of praying,

A lot of walking,

A lot of listening,

Re listening every time it's like more.

So I just I just wanted to share my gratitude and and everybody in the satsang truly helps with with you speaking also because I see myself in every single one of you.

And I'm grateful for the opportunity to to be a part of this.

And I just I wanted to tell you Oh,

And I did want to talking about the guys with the sprinklers in LA.

He put them on his roof.

So I'm like obsessed with the LA fires when and I love LA like I love the creativity that comes from LA.

But he didn't just save his house.

He created a fire break.

I just I just love this.

And I watched him talking about it.

He created a fire break and saved every house below his.

And I just thought that was so powerful,

Like all of it.

And like that part is what moved him the most was just like,

It wasn't just saving his home.

It was like he kind of saved a large part of his neighborhood neighbors.

Yeah.

And yeah,

So it's powerful.

And yeah,

I don't know what's going on in LA.

But wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're never,

We're never hopeless victims.

This is this is what this work is about and what his example is.

And I just want to say do you guys remember like about a month ago when I came here,

Maybe a little more.

I said to you that I felt Amma was coming in behind these satsangs and she was going to strengthen all of yours connections to your souls.

Everybody who attended.

It was very strong.

She was going to be doing this.

Yeah.

And this is I just,

I wonder if you're experiencing it.

Oh,

No,

It's so great.

This is like this is and it's so great.

It's so great to say it,

You guys,

Because you're telling me,

Which is wonderful,

Because really,

Most of my life,

I've hardly had any feedback.

But also you're,

You're reassuring others,

All the others who are hearing,

You know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well,

I just thank you guys for coming.

And thank you to Amma for making this whole thing possible.

It's just miraculous.

Okay.

I love you so much,

You guys.

It's just like with Shiva,

My I've got my prayers for each one of you individually.

And as these prayers come true,

I'll tell you,

I'll go,

Okay,

That's my that was my prayer.

That was my prayer.

I'll start another one.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's like spiritual motherhood.

Oh,

You guys so many blessings.

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