Clearing Numbness And Spiritual Confusion

Again and again in this audio, Premasudha gently cuts through the ego's fear and confusion, opening doors in our hearts and minds to the light that exists within us all. She says our Soul comes in through our mammalian body in a way similar to how a woman becomes a mother through giving birth. When we let unconditional love into our bodies, we shift into a higher vibrations instantly. Just listening to this audio can help open the cells of our body to divine love.

Transcript

So some of you from,

You know,

Last time where we talked about this energy was coming into your physical bodies more.

Some of you have emailed and you had experience of quite big darkness and others of you just experienced that seamlessly.

This embodying the more light into your physical.

So either way,

Whichever way it went for you,

Is good.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

You can't make a mistake.

It's one of the hardest things to get on the journey is that the way it is,

Is the best way.

So if you had an experience of darkness,

Sometimes we feel like we're bad just because we were carrying this darkness and we didn't even know.

But it's like you're a hero for allowing it to clear.

And if you didn't experience darkness,

It was just your time to seamlessly move into more truth,

To sink into it,

To allow your body to change the vibration.

And sometimes it's very seamless.

You know,

So many times I've had the experience of just almost subtly changing dimensions and I actually feel that we do this actually,

As we shift,

We move in dimensions.

And that's part of why things become rosier over time.

Another thing that can be difficult for people is to just,

You know,

With your perceptions,

When you get subtle information,

And you don't know whether it's your ego,

Or if it's coming from your soul,

To just be with it without knowing.

Keep it in mind.

And then see if it's true or not.

Over time,

You don't have to do anything to it.

Mm hmm.

All of you,

There's a need to touch your hearts.

It's,

I can feel it really strongly that you all need your hearts to be touched.

Mm hmm.

It's part of how we know that our hearts are a reality.

Because if anybody's watching the videos I've just put up,

It's about this numbness that so many of us are carrying.

And we turn down our flame so much as children in order to just cope with our lives.

That when we're adults,

We're in a state of numbness,

And we don't realize it.

So we're numb to the data of our hearts.

And just as when your feet get cold,

If you,

You know,

If you're out in the snow,

And your feet get cold,

If you put them in warm water,

They will sting.

It hurts to awaken.

But it's a wonder to start functioning on all cylinders,

And your capacities,

Square and cube,

And life becomes so much more meaningful.

But to the person who's numb,

There can be a wall of fear that comes up,

Even just hearing this.

And it's carried in the cells of our body.

So when you turn up for satsang,

It's like,

It's drip,

Drip,

Drip,

Getting an IV of love.

And I know you know this,

Because you're turning up,

You get this IV of love.

And it will just melt numbness organically,

At a pace you can handle.

There's several of you that are fairly new seekers.

And you so remind me of what I was like,

Which is a zero to 100,

I want it now.

And it just does not work like that.

It works like pregnancy.

So it's a gradual,

Gradual process.

But it is inexorable.

If you seek to awaken,

You will knock on the door,

She'll open.

Nothing can stop it,

Except your own mind.

It's like your own mind.

If you go,

Well,

I'm,

You know,

I'm not very good at things,

I'm not going to be good at this spiritual journey.

You know,

That can be a bit of a damper.

So don't do that.

You know,

You're a divine being in human form.

And the spiritual journey is done by something beyond you.

Anyway,

It's done by your souls.

I know we're going to be moving into questions if some of you have questions.

But there's just some things that have to be spoken first as preparation from this.

There's some confusion that's beginning to clear for some of you.

You know,

We have these very mechanical minds.

We're trained to be very mechanistic in our thinking.

And our egos understand that kind of thinking and it leads to a lot of spiritual confusion.

That's it.

So when you're making steps,

The confusion of the mechanical mind will come up will show itself.

Just be with it.

And keep the focus on the Creator.

Mm hmm.

It's good.

All of you can do that.

Mm hmm.

You know,

Sometimes we might have to walk around in tremendous confusion for some days or weeks.

And it's like good news.

Good.

Good.

Good.

It's really good what you're doing.

Good.

You know,

Rather than the journey being mechanical,

Well,

It is mechanical in the sense if you keep focusing on God,

You will start to embody God.

It's mechanical like that.

The more you sort of step out of your current thoughts,

Even to remind yourself of the silence within or that everything is the Creator,

The more that will drip,

Drip,

Drip into your bodies and your psychology.

So it's mechanical that way.

The way it's not mechanical is the answers will always come out of left field.

The really important events of your life.

Your really big shifts into truth will come out of left field.

It will be Oh,

This is now for something completely different.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

The you know,

We're all scared.

We all start off scared of our true selves.

Because it's what we've run from.

This life is children and then in many lives.

So that's the gig.

Just over time,

Through concentration on the Creator,

The fear diminishes.

You don't believe it so much.

It's like the walls of your ego get thinner.

The windows get wider open.

The very organic process.

And you can never go backwards.

You might feel that you're going backwards,

But you're just clearing a deeper level of tension or resistance.

Okay,

Just does anybody have a question?

Have you?

Did you think about it might be hard to put words to but maybe there's a question.

Yes.

So Jandra.

Yes.

Please.

Namaste.

Good morning.

Good morning.

I hear you speak a lot about holding pain in your body and it's you know,

Surfacing is hip pain and knee pain and all that.

Um,

Ever since I around the time I met you in June,

I've been really in pain,

My hip,

My knee,

My leg.

I thought I was riding my bike too much.

I think I'm getting old.

Then I started thinking,

Um,

You know,

I have a lot of thoughts about it.

But I'm just wondering if you have any intuition or thoughts about how to maybe what do I do to get rid of it?

It's been since June that I have a hard time walking and sleeping,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

Well,

That's awful.

Yeah.

It's okay.

I mean,

It's bearable,

Just so you know,

But I want to I want to maybe move that energy through me and move on with my life.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Does it feel in your bones or join join join join some muscles?

Oh,

The whole thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's pretty big question.

But you said,

Try to think it's fantastic.

Okay.

So have you gone to like done the obvious?

Like,

Have you done any massage at all?

Chiropractor chiropractor work?

That's about it.

And what did he say?

Hmm,

Keep coming back.

Right?

Yeah.

Okay.

And,

Um,

And so you didn't go to a doctor.

Okay.

Well,

You know,

In my experience,

And I would walk around with that stuff for like months sometimes,

And it was always resistant.

So if it hips,

It's around your personal power,

Your true masculine power.

And if legs,

It's around you,

Stepping forward in that,

And you're,

And the feet are understanding.

So I'd say it's this whole thing about getting this bigger truth coming in.

And then part of you is going,

Well,

What do I do with this?

I can't act on this.

You're right on it.

Yeah,

Yeah,

That's right.

Like,

I know,

I,

I'm resisting,

I'm resisting really,

Really moving forward in my life.

Yeah,

I know.

It's so simple.

We miss it.

Okay,

So,

But we,

We get it when somebody speaks it.

So,

You know,

This,

It's just like,

I'll tell you,

When the the pain lifts,

The issue will be solved.

So don't try to fix the issue.

Just be with the fact that you,

You feel stuck and your,

Your legs hurt.

And I can feel the thickness of the hurt of what you're talking about.

It's like,

Kind of like a feels like a big,

Thick pain.

Like,

Big,

Thick resistance clearing,

Actually.

Right.

And also,

It's partly your your teacher,

Right?

Yeah,

Yeah.

So there's this feeling of,

You know,

When you're in a system,

It's as if maybe your psychology is going,

How do I bring in this bigger understanding into this system that I'm in?

Right.

Right.

And you know what,

Your body,

Your psyche,

And the pain is going to figure it out.

It's not something for your head at all.

This is such a great question.

Just the heart of this work,

Really.

So,

You know,

Sometimes with just hearing this,

And if it's true,

The pain becomes less.

So you may find this week,

That it's a little bit easier.

And that will be like signs of spring.

Yeah,

It's just like this pregnancy.

I told some of you so often,

Like,

Every joint in my body seized up with nine out of 10 pain for three months.

And I just walked around like that.

And when it lifted,

I was physically much more flexible as if I'd been doing yoga and I hadn't.

And I was mentally more flexible.

There's a reason as you're talking,

There's a reason why you feel you can't go forward.

It's an it's like an old.

It's a it's like a belief in an old taboo.

I can feel it.

Yeah,

I wonder what the taboo is.

Do you have any idea when I say that?

Yeah,

Well,

You know,

I was raised around drinking and drugs,

Then it was just normal.

And I've made a big effort to stop drinking.

But then as I get like,

You know,

Weeks and weeks into just Oh,

Feels so great.

I'm not drinking.

I'm like,

Well,

I can let myself have a beer because that's what my family taught me is okay.

And it's gonna be normal.

And I'm gonna see them and I'm not moving forward with my spiritual practices because I'm just holding on to old taboos.

That's the way I interpret what you're saying.

But I'm not sure if that's definitely I mean,

That's the way I think I'm not moving forward because of because of holding on to my past.

How do I want to say you know,

Habits?

Yeah,

It actually feels like something centuries before this.

All right.

Yeah.

And it feels like,

Yeah,

It's like this resistance is coming from other centuries.

This is what makes it so confusing.

When we start to clear we get this like,

What is this?

Yeah,

When well,

When I met you,

I was like,

You know,

Explain I'm like,

You're like,

You're human,

You know,

Like,

Sex,

Drugs,

Rock and roll.

Don't don't beat yourself up over it,

You know,

And you're saying there's a lot more,

There's a lot deeper things,

You know,

In my past,

So I don't want to take too much of your time.

But I'm just hearing that maybe talking about this with you,

It's gonna clear a little bit of it up.

Just see what happens.

And will you email me and let me know what happens this week?

Sure,

Of course.

Yeah.

And also,

I can work with you a bit through email if you want,

Like,

Like,

I want to support you.

Okay.

And it takes no time.

Please.

Okay,

I'm so grateful for you for you and your time and hope all of you have a nice week ahead.

And I look forward to listening to the rest of this.

Thank you.

I hope that you love yourself as much as I love you.

Yeah.

What's the best started teacher I did one of the best started teacher I know.

I just love you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oops.

I just lost myself.

Yeah.

The little boy energy is very strong.

You know,

I love it.

Okay.

So it's like this,

You guys,

It's sort of like going to the doctor when you're pregnant.

And you know,

There's no cure for the pregnancy,

But you're gonna get a baby out of it.

Sure.

Oh,

So it's worth it.

Okay,

To somebody else got a question.

I love it.

And you know,

Don't be scared of feeling foolish.

Like we're all we're all fools.

You know,

It's like we're all like just these human,

You know?

Yeah.

I promise you that.

Yes,

Megan.

Um,

It's not exactly a question.

But I was wondering if you could speak a bit on forgiveness,

Like self forgiveness and forgiveness for others.

And I think in my mind,

Like logically,

Theoretically,

I can figure it out.

But whenever I come to that place of trying to feel it for myself,

And others,

It's really difficult.

And I,

I'm just curious.

Yeah,

If you could speak to it a bit more.

You know,

Sweet one.

It's part of the cost of being too cautious.

Okay.

You know,

I mean,

I'm bringing up my scalp a little bit here.

It's like,

If you want to be cautious and safe,

You know,

It's like,

You get that you're,

You're scared of the love within you,

You want to be cautious with it,

And you'd be safe.

And so it will be harder to forgive people to get the logical connection.

Right?

Yeah.

I mean,

You can't have it both ways.

That's good.

Yeah,

That clicks.

Yeah,

Right.

Okay.

But okay,

So good with a click.

And good,

You brought it up,

Because it's,

It's heal,

Healable and healing,

Just in this process.

Just by even asking the question and hearing this come through me about the caution.

Do you see what I mean?

It's like,

This is what solves it.

This exposure solves things,

You guys.

So Megan,

It's like,

Yeah,

It's just you can just embrace your own humanity,

Right?

I mean,

A little bit more.

It's like,

You know,

Of course,

You're a bit scared of,

Of all this.

I mean,

We're raised in this alienated society.

We try to fix ourselves and do it right.

And forgiveness comes from the heart,

Sweetie,

And it's so strong in you.

And you're scared of it.

Right?

Right.

But I'll tell you,

And you don't have to fix that.

That's coming from this life and other lives.

And it's the way it was meant to be.

It is the way it's meant to be.

So no problem.

But just keep coming for saps eggs.

You know,

It's like it's this IV drip,

You know,

It just drip,

Drip,

Drip,

Drip.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

And also think about the creator a little more.

Like,

Think about,

You know,

Who,

Hold on just a minute.

Yeah,

Who you are,

Who you really are.

You know,

You're,

You're this person that you are,

This life has been eons in the making.

You're at the most evolved place of all your lifetimes.

You are the fullest,

Most developed fragment that your soul has ever produced.

Aha.

Yeah.

Yeah,

That's it.

Aha.

And all of you,

You guys.

Ah,

Yeah,

Megan.

Mm hmm.

That's it.

And you have all the lives and all your capabilities inside your body,

And your psyche.

And just as this drip,

Drip,

Drip comes through,

You will be able to love yourself more and express more of who you are and don't force it.

Don't push it.

Yeah.

Yeah,

That's okay.

It's like it's I'm getting this,

Like I'm getting the your psyche is getting that there's room on earth for Megan Carter.

There is.

There's room for her as she is.

This is true for you all.

But as she is,

Without having to do anything or fix anything,

Just your mere presence here helps things,

Megan.

Yeah.

That's it.

Okay.

So how do you feel right now?

How do you feel?

I'm overwhelmed,

I think is the first feeling.

But peaceful.

Yeah,

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Hopeful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's the love power coming through this one,

But it's the love power in you.

That's overwhelming you.

You know what I mean?

It's like,

It's like,

It's more than you knew it was.

Yeah,

It will just,

It'll just come in.

Just this is just like a energetic hug.

Uh huh.

Right?

I'm getting don't boss yourself around so much.

That's directly from the universe.

Okay,

Thank you.

It's like,

You know,

We'll stand on our own personal little watchtower.

You know,

Like watching,

You know,

Like in the defense defenses,

We'll have our watchtower and we'll be watching ourselves with this.

And that is just always ego,

You guys.

It's an it just causes tension.

And the information is always off.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's relaxing to your hearts more.

That's it.

You're all doing this.

That's good.

Yeah,

I'm so happy.

I am so happy.

This is so great.

Mm hmm.

Okay,

Thanks.

Thank you.

Okay,

Does anybody else there?

Hi,

Prima Suda.

Oh,

Tiba.

Sweet one.

I had a weird dream last night.

And afterwards,

I could not go back to sleep.

So is it okay to just shortly mention it?

Yeah.

So first,

It seemed like that.

Do you remember when I talked about this creation healer Braco?

And it seemed like it seemed like he was in Berlin again.

I don't know if I was a helper or organizer or whatever I was.

But I had a short interaction with him.

And he was he stayed and he was present and took a little time.

And afterwards,

I had an image of being I don't know if I was with just myself in a room.

And I saw my legs,

Like light in my legs,

And my legs were speaking,

But I don't know what they were saying.

But my,

My legs were full of light.

And they were they were talking,

They were speaking something.

And then I woke up and I could not go back to sleep.

There was so much energy in my whole body.

And on the other hand,

I have four weeks now I have,

I'm having this pain in my on on the front of of my my ribs in the heart area,

But it's not the heart itself.

It's just the I don't know the technical terms.

It's on both sides of the column,

But on the front side.

Yeah.

And they are very,

They are,

They are aching,

And they are aching even more now,

After last night.

And so for sure,

I was relating to this numbness in the heart and the what is the word the melting maybe this hopefully.

But yeah,

I just wanted to mention both of it the pains and the dream.

And yeah,

I mean,

That's a pretty awesome dream.

I mean,

Did you did you feel the kind of exuberance or exultation of having a dream like that?

At first,

I mean,

At first,

I just wanted to go back to sleep,

But there was no way.

And then I accepted that I could not sleep.

And actually,

I had to laugh heartfully at an event which happened the afternoon before.

I was I was at a Christmas market and putting a book back on the shelf and the whole shelf came down.

When it happened,

I felt ashamed,

You know,

I was not laughing.

But after the stream with the legs,

I really I had,

I had to laugh so,

So heavily that I could not go back to sleep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

The,

The chapter heading is strong movements into more love power,

Even knocking the shelf down,

Is,

Is like,

Power in a way that you haven't been able to allow into your life.

Do you see what I mean?

So it spills over and does something awkward.

That's true.

And,

You know,

The legs full of light.

I mean,

That just seems like your,

You know,

Your psyche is preparing you to walk forward into more light,

Which is what our phone call was about as well,

Right?

Yeah.

And the ribs,

The tension of the ribs,

It's like,

You know,

The lungs to take a deep breath takes trust,

Right?

So this is your container,

Your distrustful container that you learned as a child.

Yeah,

You're feeling it's clearing.

So,

And it's from many other lives,

I'm feeling,

You know,

This tightness,

And that,

You know,

You can only allow such a degree of a breath and keep it kind of shallow,

Because it's not safe here.

But it's,

It is the opposite.

And you can take deep breaths.

And this will just be leaving.

It's like a too tight corset,

Do you understand?

And it's,

It's lifting.

So you can breathe more deeply,

Trust more,

Bring in this light,

And then the love power will be domesticated in a way it will be integrated in and you won't do knock over shelves.

Do you see what I mean?

It's so simple,

You guys,

It's just so human.

And this is why we miss it.

It's so human,

And it's so big.

But understand,

But it's so human comes in through our humanity.

It's not separate.

So how do you feel right now?

Atiba?

Actually,

I'm still a little shocked,

Because while I was listening to your intro,

Remembering the dream,

All of a sudden,

Oh,

My God,

The thought came,

Maybe I,

I will be able to organize Braco in Berlin,

Because there's no organizer anymore,

You know.

And as I had this dream,

And then the light in the legs,

And that was a little shocking of a thought.

Well,

Yeah,

Because you know,

Your idea of Atiba would change,

Right?

Oh,

My God.

I know.

I mean,

You know,

I mean,

It's like proof positive of a transformational what happens in our journey,

We transform,

And we outgrow these tiny scared patterns that many of us are laboring under.

And you would be serving unconditional love you helping him,

You would be,

You know,

So walking your talk,

Sweet Atiba,

In a deeper way.

Awesome.

And it was beautiful,

Because afterwards,

You said in the intro,

Like,

If we give a little time,

We will see if if something comes from the ego,

Or if it comes from truth.

So yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

So just give it time and feel into,

And I'll tell you,

This,

If this is true,

This pain in your ribs will have been dislodged by it.

Because when you shine light on darkness,

The darkness dissolves.

When you shine light on resistance,

The resistance dissolves.

You know that expression,

You know,

Do you want the truth,

You can't handle the truth,

We can all handle the truth.

It's just a resistance that can't handle the truth,

Because it will melt.

Just with the truth.

It just melts.

Game over.

Oh,

That's it.

Good.

Yeah.

You know,

Atiba,

I think you're going to smile at yourself with great compassion.

You know,

In a few years when you look back to your struggles,

Because you're such a big light wanting to be born.

And we fight it tooth and nail.

And it's like,

I did too.

It's like,

This is what we're like.

But,

You know,

It helps the world when we step forward.

Yeah,

Helps us.

Helps the world.

And as I've said to you before,

I mean,

How many incarnations more do you want?

You know,

This is the operative thing.

So I'm,

I am happy to hear what you said today,

Your dream and your perceptions around it.

And let me know about what happens with your ribs.

Okay.

Yes.

Thank you.

And everything and you know,

Just how you are after.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

Good.

Thank you,

Pramasutha.

Eva,

Did you have,

I thought maybe you had a question in the box was circled.

Does anybody else have a question or comment?

Maxi?

Hey,

Pramasutha.

Hey.

I hoped you were going to come forward.

I'm glad I had the feeling.

Yeah.

Yeah,

We were,

We were talking about this,

Taking time off for myself.

And I've been feeling this stiffness and feeling mad and just feeling stuck.

And all my body was hurting for like days.

And this morning,

I was just like,

Oh,

My God,

What am I going to do?

I'm just,

I feel like dying.

I feel I felt like,

Like mentally really bad.

So I was like,

Okay,

Just gonna lay down on my bed.

And not taking care of the kids,

Just let them do whatever they want.

And then I had this wonderful experience that I was laying in my bed reading in a book and I was falling asleep.

And while waking up,

It felt like that I was kind of snuggling to my little inner Maxi and saying,

Oh,

You're wonderful.

And I see you and I love you.

And I'm with you.

And I could feel it in my heart.

And it was really amazing to feel.

So I was,

Um,

Yeah,

I was wondering about,

Is it that what it is about?

Just taking your time and then things happen like that.

So I was Yeah.

So let me let me just give them all some background a little bit.

Maxi emailed me about that she,

You know,

Was taking care of her kids and everything.

And she didn't feel she could she but she wanted to read and watch spiritual videos and everything.

And,

And I said,

Come on,

This is this self neglect I was talking about.

Our egos neglect our souls,

And we'll have a by being a good girl or good,

Good boy.

And so I said to Maxie,

Come on,

Weave some of that in do as much as you can,

You know,

Because you're a mom,

You're not just a robot mom,

You're Maxie,

The mom,

You have to take care of Maxie to be a good mom.

Okay.

Right.

So I'd say this stiffness is again,

Like a mental stiffness that's clearing around this rule orientation,

Right?

And the heaviness is,

Is the resistance,

Like I was talking about this,

You know,

No to the soul,

You know,

And when it comes up to be cleared,

We feel like we do feel like we want to die.

It's like,

What is the point?

You know,

What's the point?

But actually,

You're in an ego death.

And yeah,

And that's the thing to keep in mind.

Okay,

It's an ego death,

You know.

So then you lay down on the on your bed and took this time,

And this perception bubbled up.

And it's like your little child within is feeling safe enough with you to speak to you.

And this is badge of honor,

Gold medals,

When your inner child feels safe enough to come forward.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it will make you up the best mom of all because you'll,

You'll reach your kids on these deeper levels,

And they'll feel safe.

Yeah.

And sweetie,

It is quite a walk in this world to mother at this level.

My hat off.

But the universe is taking care of you.

And we'll be will will support this will support this.

And this inner maxi has a lot she wants to talk to you about I can feel it.

Oh,

Okay.

Yeah.

But don't rush it.

It's like,

It's like just as soon as I said that I saw her kind of shrink down.

So yeah,

It's so sensitive,

Right?

Yeah.

So just it's,

It's just get the principle that you are allowed to bring this level of awareness up.

But it's not taboo,

That you can do it.

And just don't talk to other people about it.

Okay.

Apart from really awake people,

Okay,

Because,

Because really,

It's taboo in our culture,

And it will,

It tends to get squished.

So just take care of it.

And then what will happen is everybody will start telling you how marvelous you are,

As you do this,

As you bring in the results of it.

Yes.

Okay,

Good.

So how are you feeling right now?

Maxi?

While you were talking,

I had a lot of like movement in my digestive systems that was getting really like rumoring.

And yeah,

I feel a little more relaxed now.

But also my little baby bring in the good God,

You got to go.

Okay.

Okay.

Just the thing.

This might the words coming through me.

We're helping you digest the message.

Yeah.

Yeah,

That's how your digestive system.

Yeah.

Okay.

Sure.

Do what you have to do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You guys,

This is,

You know,

This,

It's,

It's this kind of mothering.

It's like being a spiritual midwife,

And helping people be born into their truth.

And it's so simple.

And so big at the same time.

And we're not taught to think this way.

But you can learn to think this way.

Yeah.

The way this one thinks,

You can start to weave it in,

And it will expand your life,

And give you permission to love yourselves.

Okay,

That's the key.

That is the key.

Right?

It's just not about this one.

It's about you getting permission to love yourselves,

To love and honor yourselves.

And I'm just talking about how this one did it.

There's a tremendous need for self forgiveness in,

In,

In almost all of you.

Okay,

I'm going to give this to Amma.

It's an old,

Tight resistance.

Giving it to Amma.

Yeah,

For it to be cleared at the highest good pace,

As gently and as easily as possible.

That's it.

Okay,

That's it.

Good.

Now,

That is,

I mean,

Those words came from reality,

From true reality,

And they will come true,

You will get special assistance around the issue of self forgiveness.

And that's part of why you spoke about it,

Megan,

Was to almost alert the whole group to the need for this.

Right?

It's like a seed forgiving itself for sprouting,

And a seed forgiving itself for being messy as it sprouts,

You know?

Really,

You have to forgive yourself.

You know?

Yeah.

Woman,

You know,

Woman giving birth doesn't go like,

She just gives birth and welcomes a baby.

She doesn't judge herself for how messy it is,

Or how much she screamed.

Any possible way that you come into more spiritual knowledge is good.

Doesn't matter how messy it is,

Or how much you think you should have got it earlier or anything.

It's,

You know,

What is,

Is the way it has to be.

Yeah,

Please get this.

What is,

Is,

Is it.

It had to be this way.

There's no error.

If your life was planned this way.

That has been one of the freeing,

Most freeing things that I've understood as time goes on.

Oh,

Yeah.

This journey is done by something beyond us.

And we just discover what happens.

So if we have our awakening at age 89,

That's what our soul decided.

If we achieve self realization,

You know,

And on our 100th birthday,

And then die,

The next moment,

That was what the life plan was.

Alma says it's already happened.

So that's not like a get out of jail free card in a way like you still have to live your life,

But just okay,

It's good.

I'm,

I'm seeing some peace is going to be coming to you this week.

Some peace,

This peace makes it easier.

I think we've got time for one more question or comment.

I'm so happy you've come forward this way,

Because it,

It helps.

It helps the breadth of this knowledge be communicated.

Laura.

Can you hear me?

I can.

Yeah.

Okay,

Because that's why I was afraid to everything that everybody has talked about.

It got me here.

And when you just said that thing about self forgiveness,

Like that day I'm broke,

And the pain in my knee has cleared.

I have the hard time that I still have this.

And this ego,

But that I still have this stupid ego,

That keeps running conversations in my head.

Every time I think,

Don't do that.

Let's think of this.

So there's 10 thoughts about the creator of where I'm headed.

And there are 10 thoughts that are ego.

And yeah,

That's what I'm having a hard time with.

I wish it was less.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I empathize.

So knees are relationships.

So they're hurting.

Because it's like your relationship with yourself,

Your relationship with others.

But you're actually letting go of some thorns,

Laura.

Letting go of what?

Some thorns.

Think of,

You know,

Thorns on the rose that have been pricking you,

Causing you trouble,

And actually you're in the process of dropping them.

And they're your own thorns with other people,

Your defenses to other people,

But also your own thorns to your own sweet self,

Your own defenses to your own true nature.

Okay.

When I'm by myself,

When I'm on your zones,

Or in my room,

I'm okay with who I am.

But as soon as I go out there,

I'm not.

You know,

A lot of people feel this way.

Yeah.

Hey,

Laura,

I just want to come back to when you're talking about the thoughts,

You'll 10 thoughts of the creator.

Can I kind of get a drink of water?

This has got me going.

10 thoughts of the creator and 10 thoughts about everything else.

Just be with it.

That's what it's like.

It was great that you even have 10 thoughts of the creator at all.

Just be with those thoughts.

The thoughts are part of your karma in a way.

They're part of what's coming to your conditioning.

And it will be coming inexorably.

It's coming,

Inexorably.

It's coming.

These thoughts come.

And it's like,

We can learn just to be neutral with it.

It just be neutral.

You know,

It's like neutral,

Like a stem cell.

Neutral,

Like a parent who's just listening to the child babble on,

You know,

And you don't really want to listen to the child,

But you're there physically.

Be like that with these thoughts.

We're not machines.

You're going to have these thoughts.

And Laura,

It's this self forgiveness is very key for you right now.

Just what we've been talking.

It's actually the theme of this whole satsang is self forgiveness and the need for self forgiveness.

So Laura,

Are you willing to allow self forgiveness to flow in?

Okay,

Answer verbally.

And when you're speaking,

Speak it to me,

But also speak it to Amma.

Amma's your witness.

Is that pinpoint of willingness?

Of course I am.

And then the rest of me says you're gonna what?

Yeah,

But this is like,

Why even don't side with it?

So what?

The ego's gonna do that.

Like,

Dictators will always try to keep power.

It's like,

Just ignore them.

Right?

It's like,

What are you giving the right of way?

You know?

Right?

Like Laura,

I just don't believe like you're doing really well.

So I don't really believe the resistance is so strong in you,

Because I just see it like melting away like in buckets.

So you may feel this resistance,

But it's like,

Meh,

It's tiny.

You're just seeing it as it's leaving.

With a magnifying glass.

With a magnifying glass.

And this is what happens when our egos are getting smaller,

It looms up enormously.

And we're looking at it through a magnifying glass,

And it's all we can see.

And you know,

In the way of the Tao,

Lao Tzu talks about how if you want to get make something smaller,

Let it get really big.

And with this way of duality,

When something gets really big,

The next step is for it to shrink.

Right?

Right.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

It's like if you let a two year old scream and cry,

Eventually it gets really tired and falls asleep.

Sorry,

Say that again,

What?

If you try to get your baby to take a nap,

If it cries,

Eventually,

It'll get tired and go to sleep.

Stop.

Right.

I'm more comfortable with talking about dictators than letting kids cry,

Because I actually think child will go to sleep too if you pick them up and hug them.

So yeah,

So I get but I get what you mean.

The ego will finally give up.

It just gives up and dissolves.

It sees the writing on the wall.

Just keep siding with your soul and do your best.

What else can we do but our best?

Right.

Thank you.

Oh,

Laura,

Bless your heart.

How do you feel though,

Laura,

Right now?

Much more relaxed.

Okay,

Really?

That I don't have to try so hard.

You don't.

It's,

You guys,

It's always the ego that tries.

The trying is the ego.

If we get in that trying and we start push pull,

We're,

We're caught in the ego.

That's not,

It's not going to be helpful.

It's like I'm trying to live up to what's happening.

Live up to what my soul thinks,

What my soul wants.

You know,

You see?

Yes.

And this is we,

You know,

It turns into a Chinese puzzle.

It's like layer after layer of the stuff.

And you see,

In our culture,

We have a split,

The mind body split,

And we have God up there somewhere.

And we're down here.

You know,

It's like,

So we try to jump for the brass ring of God.

And it's not that way.

You come to God through going inside to your heart and going through the body.

The God comes into you through the mammal,

Through your body.

This is the reverse of the mind body split.

In fact,

You have to allow the mind body split that we're all caring to heal,

To allow the divine in.

And this is what's so scary.

When we're making a step past what hundreds of years of our culture has been saying.

This is why we need tremendous patience and forgiveness.

Because we haven't been here before.

Humanity has not been here before at this spot of really walking into embodying our divinity on the human plane.

And we're here now.

We either do it or extinct,

You know?

That's it.

That's it.

Ah,

Do you know what I can feel?

The softness of this teaching is helping you guys.

Yeah.

It's it's the female face of God energy.

It's it's the thing that's so neglected.

And when you bring it in,

It just solves everything.

Yeah,

That's it.

That's it.

That's it.

We just become fearless as a byproduct.

Because you just see it's like nothing to be scared of.

Yeah.

Yeah,

The whole culture is scared of the feminine energy.

And then even we women are scared of it ourselves.

And it's like,

We all go up into our heads and try to figure stuff out.

But it's just so simple.

Okay.

Well,

Unless somebody is really desperate to speak,

We're going to move into closing now.

Last call.

I,

I want to thank you so much for giving room for more of this understanding to come in through me to express it to you,

Because I can feel how much good it's doing me.

And also,

I can feel how much good it's doing you.

And my energy is always with you 24 seven.

And you don't even need me,

You've got Alma,

Or Mira,

You've got your own souls,

But I,

It's still there for you.

And I think of you so often and say prayers on your behalf.

Right?

Okay.

Bye,

You guys.

Blessings,

Blessings.

Love you.

Love you.

Bye.

Bye.