Awareness Satsang Q&A: The Safety Of Unconditional Love

It takes a brave soul to expose their personal spiritual challenges during these Question and Answer Satsangs. But these heartfelt questions open the door to guidance and compassion which we need so much. Premasudha's satsangs help attendees to feel accompanied on their journeys. Anything that reduces our sense of separation from All That Is and increases our trust, is such a gift.

Transcript

I don't know if it's a question.

I guess it's a request for help.

I'm in a lot of fear these days.

So one is the world situation.

We are so close to Ukraine and the missiles and so on.

And yesterday it really hit me strongly,

This strong fear of war.

And then on a very personal little level,

I had a conflict with neighbors yesterday.

So the sons are 14 and 15,

And they rented a room in the cellar.

And I guess for six or seven hours they were stamping and running and hitting doors and so on.

And even after,

Even still at night.

And I got really to the limit of my nervous system.

And I went to the parents and it didn't really help.

I mean,

The mother went,

She is in a different block of the building.

She doesn't hear it.

And yes,

And now I spoke to them.

I said that I cannot sleep and couldn't sleep.

But this has to be solved in some way because for sure they want to play in this room.

But yeah,

I'm always afraid that I won't be able to speak up for myself and we won't find a solution which works for both of us.

So it's this whole mess about the fears,

The fear of repetition also of the scenery from yesterday and this terror about a possible war.

Yeah,

So.

Yes,

Sweetie,

I guess,

You know,

In some ways I don't know what to say because we get to these uncomfortable points and then we see our lack of faith.

And part of the lack of faith is our nervous systems get ultra sensitive.

It's all part of the same thing,

Do you see?

Like the more lodged in the creator you are,

The more calm and peaceful we get,

The more we can just kind of accept things.

I mean,

We don't get so agitated about it.

So,

You know,

But that's not,

I mean,

I've been in your state lots.

Adima,

I can tell you that this is not foreign to me what you're going through,

OK?

And I just,

You know,

Again,

I had this attitude of there's nobody else that can save me but me.

So terror always means that you're releasing fear from your body,

From your psyche,

OK?

Well,

You have a choice to release it or go round in it.

It doesn't matter whether it's war,

It's a threat,

Whatever the threat is in this illusion.

Do you understand?

This is just,

This is the drama.

It's a hologram.

But the thing you're,

It is what I did,

Sweetie.

I just kept on coming back to,

OK,

Pramasutra,

You know,

You're moving through this fear.

And everybody who knows me knows like every time I'd say to you guys like,

Oh,

I'm always a bit scared to come to Germany.

You know,

In Canada,

We're the bumpkins of,

We're just never been invaded.

So we're like,

So it's always moderately terrifying for me to come.

But I always go,

Well,

I just want to share this love.

Yeah.

So this is what your Dharma is presenting.

It's presenting us with this war.

And the war is created by us,

All the individuals in the world playing in fear and rage rather than love,

Right?

Otherwise,

We wouldn't have all these outbreaks of war.

You know,

Atiba,

If you just see yourself as like an A1 spiritual student,

Like someone just go like,

Well,

I'm not too far from realization here.

Here is my latest challenge here.

It looks like all the old stuff again.

But I just really want to bring love into the world and move through my stuff and complete this life.

You see,

And asking can be part of this.

This is all good.

It's good to ask and bring it out into the group.

This is really good.

There's no error.

It's wonderful.

But finally,

You know,

The solutions are inside,

Right?

I mean,

You're a skilled enough student that you know that on one level,

Right?

You just don't want to do it.

And I mean this with great love of my heart.

It's like you just don't want to do this,

This shift into more trust and truth.

Okay,

So what are you doing with what I've said?

Just be,

I know you'll be very honest,

Because it's the only thing that works.

Yeah.

I mean,

What I came in touch with yesterday is this deep wish and longing to how shall I say,

I felt the necessity so strongly because from the outer circumstances and from my age,

I really don't know how much time I have left.

So I felt the urgency of putting,

I don't know the word in English,

Putting everything on one,

To be one pointed.

Okay,

So just stop for a minute.

Okay,

What you did with that,

When I asked,

And it's okay,

But you went into the past,

And you told me what you did in the past.

And I want,

I mean,

This is,

Sweetie,

This is what you do,

Actually.

It's not just you.

We all do.

We avoid just the present,

Just the transparent simplicity with your teacher.

That is the most,

That is what is accelerating.

It isn't accelerating to go into the past if the teacher is asking you.

So right now,

What are you doing with my response to your question?

What's going on in your body,

Your mind,

The whole,

Like a picture?

Yes,

So the body feels so stuck.

In a way,

It's all tense.

Okay.

And yeah,

Emotionally,

I feel very close to crying.

Yeah.

Right.

I feel helpless in a way.

Right.

Yeah.

Powerless.

Right.

Right.

And the tension is fear,

You guys.

When we feel tension,

It's always fear.

So,

But the storyline is the fear.

I mean,

The storyline is,

It's the war you're feeling.

But actually,

It's a level of fear that you're carrying.

And the war,

The possibility of war is just shining a light on that,

Bringing it up into consciousness.

Yes.

Right.

Okay.

Very strongly.

Yes.

I can imagine.

I mean,

Like I say,

I would feel fear every time I come.

I don't,

So I understand this.

Also being in Berlin,

You know,

I mean,

Not on the countryside in a small,

Unimportant village or something,

But right in the middle of,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

It's already,

It's already decided what's going to happen.

So there's that.

I mean,

It either is going to happen or not.

So,

But it's already decided.

I want to steer you,

Atiba,

You know,

I mean,

It's,

I will always steer you back to the personal,

Back to your,

Your opening,

Helping you open the door to your soul energy to bring more of a gentle clarity to hold you as you go through these things.

So you can witness the fact you're scared about the war and you're upset with the boys and everything.

So you can witness it with part of yourself,

Witnessing,

Witnessing,

Having Amma hold you,

You know,

Going,

Okay,

I'm,

I'm hitting another point,

You know,

I'm as a human being,

I'm scared,

But I'm,

I will to will thy will,

You know,

I'm,

I will seek God,

Like just stand there and keep demanding Amma come.

What did you say to demand that Amma comes?

Yeah,

Demand that Amma comes and sues you and helps you demand it.

You're worth it.

Just stand there and go like,

I need help,

Amma.

Like,

Because I'll tell you,

Atiba,

It would be the making of you,

Of you,

If you could learn how to go through these glitches more.

Do you know how to surf through them more?

And you already have learned a lot.

Like it's,

There's no criticism.

It's,

I just felt like I hit your excuses.

I can feel them in your belly.

There are three big excuses that you've got.

One of them is this feeling not very good about yourself.

There's like three bubbles in your belly,

Which is right in your sacral chakra,

Which is right where people put walls.

You know,

As kids,

Our walls come up there.

We,

We get sore tummies when we go to school because we're walling off the flow of our soul.

Yeah.

So you can,

You know,

Like just keep,

Look at these excuses,

You know,

And just,

Just keep loving yourself,

Sweetie.

That's what this one did to get here.

So do you see that's what I'm,

You can do this too,

Atiba.

I know you can.

It's not,

Just do it,

Like follow the guidance of your teacher.

Okay.

Okay.

This is really important.

If you ask a teacher something,

Then you're responsible to listen to what the teacher says and follow it.

And part of you wants to drop this whole answer I've given you and just keep doing what you're doing.

And that I will tell you that you won't be able to open,

Ask questions and sad things.

If you keep doing that,

If you do that,

I won't answer.

So really take what I said to heart.

Right.

There are three big excuses you,

You,

You make to why you can't allow this flow.

And there's no reason you could achieve self realization.

You can do it Atiba.

So how do you feel about what I'm saying to you in your body and your mind?

Yeah.

So I understand the first excuse very well,

Because I felt it before you said.

Yeah,

Of course.

I do not really trust that I'm worth it and that I will really come.

I know.

And that's why I know this about you.

Right.

But it's just an excuse.

Again,

Listen to your teacher.

Right.

Like it's an excuse sweetie.

Yes.

I understood that.

And then now I'm wondering about the two other excuses.

Just,

You know,

Witness,

Just,

Just look for them.

Go like,

Okay,

My teacher said there are a couple more.

I mean,

I'll see if I can see them.

I mean,

Just lightly with yourself,

Just lightly.

Right.

There's no criticism,

Sweet one.

I mean,

This is,

This is what we're like.

We have all kinds of tricks.

It's okay.

This one had millions of them.

They just didn't work,

Which is why I surrendered.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

You got that.

You know,

These excuses don't work.

So you're like,

Yeah,

I'm gonna have to surrender.

That's the whole point.

It's good.

You've brought this up.

Yeah.

It's also why I am getting increasingly,

You know,

Just about the war and everything.

It's I am not indulging people at all.

Okay,

That's part of what's going on with this one,

Too,

Is as part of the movement to promote peace.

Let's do it.

Let's do the inner work.

Let's not just moan about the war.

Let's do it.

Right.

Right.

It is the moral choice to do this inner work.

When you get that it's a moral choice,

It's easier to do it.

You go,

I'm,

I'm responsible for the state of the world.

Basically,

It's like,

I'm going to move into peace.

Right.

And again,

You haven't done anything wrong,

Sweetie.

We all need corrections.

We all have our,

Our particular blind spots and the places we like to hide.

It's okay.

We all have them.

Yeah.

But there's no,

You know,

Just concentrate about like,

Think about if you want another life here on the planet.

Yeah,

I mean,

That's the bottom line.

It's nobody's choice but yours.

And this one truly,

I've experienced massive distrust.

You guys,

When I say like the tears,

The fears,

All that stuff,

Same for me.

It's just that I really knew nobody could save me.

I mean,

Even Amma,

I mean,

She could witness me.

She could hug me.

She could be inside me,

But she couldn't actually take the step for me.

I had to take the step.

And that's really what I'm saying to you.

Right,

I can see there's,

It's the fear of annihilation underneath with the war,

The fear of annihilation.

And,

You know,

Really the ego is just scared of dying because we don't die.

And there's a level that you just got annihilated energetically,

Atiba.

And this is very good because it's like an ego death is already there in your blueprint.

So you're doing it.

But sweetie pie,

There's another part that you're unprepared for an ego death and you're kind of,

You might want to complain about that too.

And it's fine.

This is what we're like.

We all want enlightenment,

But we don't want to suffer.

I get it.

How are you feeling right now?

The question is there in like a situation with the neighbors.

I'm always uncertain whether striving for peace means to,

And surrender means to let them do what they want to do,

You know,

Or if it could be a way to peace could also be to speak up for myself.

And I feel this uncertainty about this issue.

It's not new to me.

Yeah.

So you just find out by making a choice and doing whatever you're doing.

So just see how this plays out,

Do your best with it,

See how it plays out.

And then that is showing you your state of consciousness.

It's not to go up into your head and to figure out what action is going to work and what isn't like that won't work,

Sweetie.

That just means that this action that you did with,

With the kids,

You actually did from your head.

And so that would make it likely not work because you're doing it from your head.

You can do,

You could do an action from your heart's knowledge that it was the right action for you to take.

You know,

If you're bothered,

You're bothered,

You know,

So I would say good to speak up.

But at the same time,

Be aware that you've got your nervous system into a bit of a pickle.

So you actually have a heightened sense of being bothered.

That's your responsibility too.

Right.

See,

You guys,

The head wants to make it into a choice of bad or good,

Right or wrong.

And as soon as you start taking action from that,

You know,

The action is from your ego.

Your heart will tell you that the action to take,

And sometimes it is an action that your head would also say is good.

But it's from the heart.

So it will work.

Right.

So that's Yeah,

I mean,

Don't hesitate to learn this level,

Sweetie.

This will be the making of you.

And who knows you,

Your nervous system may be calmer after this.

And the whole thing may be more doable.

I mean,

Once we get bothered,

We're toast,

Right?

It's sort of like the mosquito.

It's like,

Once we feel the mosquito,

It's like,

Oh,

Yeah.

Yeah.

But maybe just you bravely bringing forward this question,

And we're speaking about it,

Maybe this is making room for just more peace to in you and also in the outer situation.

Because I'll tell you,

If it's something from your heart,

People will be far less bothered.

No matter what you're saying,

They will get their backs up.

If we're asking from our heart.

Yeah.

And just just see what happens.

See,

Just just observe,

You know,

That observe,

See what happens.

Okay,

And thanks for bringing this stuff up,

Atiba,

Because everybody knows what you're talking about.

Yeah.

Thanks a lot.

Sweetie,

Lots of love.

Great empathy.

Thank you.

Yeah,

All of us feel empathy.

Surely we'll feel empathy for Yeah,

Atiba,

Look at look at their faces.

Like,

You know,

Yeah.

With Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

This is the stuff.

This is the human stuff.

And female teach female spiritual teachers to talk about this stuff,

Particularly,

More so than the guys,

Because it's the realm of the feminine,

All this stuff.

We give birth,

It's a bit messy,

But we get the new baby.

It's like it's,

Yeah.

Okay.

Does anybody else have a question?

Do you want me to call on people if I get the feeling or would you would you rather?

Or would you rather just have it your own choice?

So all the people who would like me to call on you,

If I have a feeling,

Can you raise your hands?

Okay,

Cool.

Okay,

So 123456.

Okay,

Six,

And all the people who don't want me to call on them.

Like,

Yeah,

Can I please keep hiding?

Oh,

That's so funny.

Bless your heart.

Good for you.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

Well,

I'll just you know,

If you I don't know,

You could probably put a sign up if you really don't want me to say anything.

I ask you,

You could put up some sign and then I'll really move.

Okay,

Good.

All right.

Thank you.

But I'll still give most of the room to you guys to come forward because that's a good practice to come forward.

But Trilla Chan,

I'll ask you,

How are you doing?

Because you're not even allowed to ask questions.

So Sorry,

What did you say?

Oh,

Never mind.

Just just go.

Yeah.

I was expecting that you call me out already last week.

I don't think you're doing anything bad or anything.

I know.

I don't.

Okay.

I needed I needed your last little whatever you want to call it scolding.

It was I mean,

I wrote after you after that anyway.

To be honest.

I mean,

You know,

I'm in a intensive period in a very intensive year.

Now the last three weeks in a kind of a breakup situation.

Yeah.

I don't have any specific question.

I feel at the moment,

I think as you shared some month ago in one of the satsangs.

I think I already know quite a good bit.

It's really just it's it's only on the level of really how to put it in really a daily practice.

And right.

It's,

It's still the way you said that,

Man,

The way you said it to put into daily practice.

There's manipulation in there.

It's just just live it.

Just go.

Yeah,

There's no just,

Oh,

I have to wake up.

That's what you need to say to yourself.

I have to wake up.

I have to live it.

It might be a little bit terrifying,

But premise suitable come in and backstop me if I actually do it.

This is why I,

I stopped because you have to do it and be like the rest of us schmucks stepping out onto thin ice being being,

You know,

Getting about how to live in the heart.

Because do you see what you're doing with being afraid of fear of the fear of the ego has caught you.

I mean,

There's just no way out with that.

If you believe that if you don't see that as just a big trick of the ego,

Then there's there is nothing for me to do.

You see,

There's nothing I wasn't going to go around in that with you.

If you didn't want to come out,

Which is what my experience was,

You didn't want to come out,

You didn't want to have to come into your heart more and solve it.

Do you understand what I'm saying to you?

I think I do understand.

It's,

You know,

With all these questions where even the last time where I asked a similar question,

The second or the third time,

Why am I doing that?

Because I'm currently or I'm still sometimes failing it,

Failing and practicing it.

That's the only reason why I'm asking you again and again.

It's like,

I know the urgency again through an intensive life experience.

I know I'm very much still in my ego.

That's why the suffering is there.

It's just the slowly,

Only slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly getting better coming in my heart.

Well,

It is slow.

But Trilla Chan,

Part of why I've been after you if you've been wanting to stay like a university professor analyzing the problem,

Or like a government person analyzing problem and not doing anything to help the screaming suffering population,

It is exactly the same energy that you're running in.

Do you understand this?

It's like the government people that they'll use a lot of public money,

And they'll identify a problem.

And then there's no money left over for any kind of solution.

And there's no interest in a solution.

You have to have a real interest in coming out of this.

You have a very,

Very deep interest in getting out of that the suffering.

What kind of feedback has your teacher been giving you pretty consistently?

What kind of feedback?

Yeah,

What kind of feedback have you got from your teacher?

I think the main thing is,

You really have to want it and you have to practice it.

Yeah,

I'm saying that you're stuck in your ego,

And part of you doesn't want to come out.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

It's like,

Admit that.

Admit that because that's the only way it's ever going to change if you admit it.

Like,

Man,

Because I worked with you for months on the phone,

We asked questions in the satsang,

And still I couldn't get through to you.

So finally,

I had to say no.

Right?

I mean,

That's how bad it was.

And you didn't you haven't wanted to face it.

And you know,

It could be faced in an afternoon.

You could go,

Oh,

Man,

Actually,

This is I've just created this whole thing.

This whole thing is so unnecessary.

It's,

It'll be a penny dropping in your heart,

Trilla Chan,

When it happens,

Okay,

And it will be in Amma's timing when it happens,

Or God's timing.

It's nothing you can manipulate or force.

But all you can do is see that,

You know,

You feel a victim of this and everything,

But that it really is self created by you believing your thoughts of your ego,

And they're untrue.

It's like you're believing your thoughts.

It's they're not there.

They're just the ego running amok.

It's like a tyrant.

And if this tyrant can keep you hypnotized,

Your ego will be happy,

And you'll get another body at the end of this life and can face it again.

Then I was so hypnotized by my ego that I was like trying to jump off cliffs.

No,

Really,

I was in a state like that.

And I really when I was really off,

And I couldn't,

I kept trying to jump off a cliff,

But I couldn't,

There was part of me that just wouldn't let me do this.

Thank God.

Like our minds can get cuckoo crazy.

And this fear of the fear,

If you,

If you keep playing there,

It's just going to get worse.

It's bullshit.

There's part of you that feels safer,

Only being allowed to drive an hour hour each way,

Or whatever it is,

Then then being allowed your freedom.

The part of you feel safe with this.

Because it'll be what your little kid is used to,

But it's sort of like,

You know,

I focused on self compassion to get me out of this stuff just endlessly.

It's like pouring the cool water,

Pure water in the cup of salty water.

And this one,

I outgrew these things.

But man,

I had I had neurotic stuff up to here.

Right?

You look like you're facing the firing squad.

Your ego scared to die,

You know?

You're scared to let your ego die.

Right?

You're so adorable,

Trilla chan,

You know?

I don't know if I consciously I would say I would be so happy that the ego dies,

But something probably subconsciously is still your teacher speaks the truth.

So it's kind of just non negotiable.

It's what you want to do with it,

Whether you want to blow it off,

Or whether you want to digest it.

And,

You know,

It is,

It's a transmission,

It can be,

You can digest it,

You can change.

It's like you are not in control of your changing.

Do you understand?

It is you're trying to change with your ego,

It cannot be done from that.

The change comes from something beyond you.

From something beyond your ego.

It's like it will come from like,

You'll get a dream,

Or you'll suddenly have a feeling of Amma with you.

Or you'll suddenly go,

Hey,

That woman Prema Sudha knows what she's talking about.

There'll be some kind of shift.

And you'll experience you'll have more freedom.

But you see,

Man,

I can feel it even talking.

It's like,

You know,

Why are you so scared of your freedom?

Why does it feel safer?

You know,

You could ask the universe,

Why does this feel safer than for you to have your freedom?

I mean,

Do you think you're so terrible that you have to be kind of on a leash?

Not at all.

Well,

I think part of you must think that your true nature,

If you know,

If you weren't on a leash,

God knows what your true nature would do.

That's what your ego thinks.

Oh,

Really?

And you're buying it.

That really,

Your ego's got you on this big leash.

Because if I was really myself,

Who knows what I'd do?

I might love somebody.

I might bring light to the world.

I might be able to laugh.

Right?

There you go.

You see?

I know,

Really,

This is the comedy of it,

Man.

And you know,

You don't feel any pressure to get over this.

Like,

It's all okay.

But it's a comedy what we do to ourselves.

It's really why we've got all these horrible dictators around,

Because this is what we're doing to ourselves.

We're putting ourselves,

We're like,

Oh,

If I was true to myself,

I'd be such a terrible person that I should be made into a slave and lose all my rights and freedoms.

Really?

This is what we're doing to ourselves internally,

That we're getting governments like this.

Really?

Right.

I saw a flicker of a sign of spring in you,

Trilla Chan.

J Ma,

Good word.

Yeah.

It's just,

This is how we grow.

We just,

We kind of just,

We just get fed up with it.

And we go,

We just get it somehow.

So don't,

Don't worry about things too much.

Just,

But you did good work today.

You know what is interesting?

I mean,

That's at least how I am conditioned.

I don't know if others feel like that.

But when you're in a state,

Whatever your suffering is,

At the very end,

The solution is probably the same for most of us.

But what I feel when you say that,

What is it that I can do?

What I,

How I can support that journey in terms of any spiritual practice,

Any practice to know I started holding my hands over my heart,

Much more feeling to my heart.

You know,

I try to support that whole process,

What you're describing somehow.

That's how I'm conditioned.

You talk such a good game.

You talk such a good game.

I'll tell you what,

If you really focused on your heart,

Hour after hour after hour,

You will have a breakthrough.

So you want something to do.

I think you've been told it many times,

Focus on your heart.

You might not want to,

You might want to spend a lot of air time talking to me about blah,

Blah,

Blah.

But we know Trilla Chan,

You can't fool me.

Okay.

No,

You're 100% right.

I'm not.

I mean,

In my daytime,

When I do the job,

When I do my knob,

Whatever the work is,

If I have clients,

I prepare something,

I'm totally out of some,

I'm not in my heart.

I'm fully focusing on my heart when I take the time.

Have a happy time being on a leash with your ego and not being able to go far.

Well,

Sorry,

Man.

I mean,

You can't go like,

You're just trying to play both sides of a game.

It's like,

I'm,

I'm,

I'm,

Okay,

You just need time.

Okay,

Just stop trying to,

I just,

I,

You boggle my mind.

It's like,

I was really humble.

Somebody said something to me,

I did it.

I came to somebody to learn,

I followed.

I was desperate to get out of my traps desperate.

When we get desperate enough,

We,

We listen and follow and may that day come soon.

Bless your heart.

I still find you very appealing.

Thank you.

I try my very best what I can.

Thank you.

No,

I'll stop trying.

It's like,

Just you'll figure it out.

Yeah,

Right.

I know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's a thing called paradoxical intention.

It's sort of like when you do the opposite,

Sometimes that's how you get out of the box.

But anyway.

Okay,

Next person.

Everybody's scared to ask anything.

Well,

You see,

The trouble is,

I mean,

It's partly because this works so friendly,

It gets mistaken for therapy,

And it's not therapy.

It's very,

Very loving,

Divine,

Feminine,

Mothering,

Spiritual mothering energy,

But it's really no nonsense.

And actually,

You know,

I was thinking about this,

Like it often,

This work is miraculous.

It started with my son's miracle healing,

The whole thing,

Miracles all through this one's experience.

It's,

It is miraculous,

Because it's love based,

You guys.

It's love based.

You have to want to know about love.

You have to really want to live it.

That's the thing that would stop wars.

I feel like I'm in this cartoon,

You know,

Sort of like I'm attending an anti-war protest,

And I'm saying,

Well,

Everybody come into your hearts,

You know,

That's what's going to help.

And everybody's going,

We just want to demonstrate and be angry and be scared.

It's like,

Okay.

Okay.

Okay,

We're at the last call of the last call.

Yeah,

Jenna,

I just,

I wanted to put this book in front of everybody.

This is,

This is,

So Olga,

Who was the healer that worked with Premasuddha's son,

Her and her husband have written a couple of books.

And I just started reading this one,

The Gift of Healing,

Which is actually written by her husband.

And the reason that I'm bringing this up is because I think it's so important to her husband.

And the reason that I'm bringing it up is because for me reading through it,

It's an interesting like externalization of what we're talking about in this satsang today.

Because so far reading this book,

A lot of it is him dismissing his own gifts and talking about the process of dismissing his own gifts or trying to explain it away because he was an aerospace engineer.

And so he talks about his gifts and the realization of his gifts through this lens of like a science experiment.

And like he's testing it and the world is testing it.

And so it's interesting to me because it's like the love is here and so obvious and so like organic feminine energy.

And then it's in this male voice of trying to explain it away,

You know,

Or trying to turn it into a science experiment.

And so reading through it for me has just been an example of the Western culture and dismissing love and dismissing the feminine.

And it's interesting to me because again,

I mean,

This is Olga's husband,

Right?

And I haven't gotten through the whole book.

I'm only a piece through it,

But I just think I wanted,

I don't know,

I felt to bring it up.

Yeah.

I mean,

This is the cost for us with the downgrading of the feminine is we're at war everywhere.

Yeah.

I know.

It's very sad.

I was just the power of love.

I was,

My son,

We walked into a bookshop.

He was about six,

Maybe seven.

And there was a book about Olga,

Maybe that one,

But that one had a very small picture of Olga on it.

So it was on a bookstand and out of,

You know,

Five or six things.

And my son,

We walked in and my son who was healed by Olga,

Turned and went,

Oh,

Who's that woman,

Mom.

And he pointed to this tiny picture on this book of this huge bookstand.

I went,

Well,

That's Olga.

That's the woman who,

Okay.

Now that is the radar of love,

Right?

That he would recognize the picture and be drawn to the picture that he just walking at seven-year-old,

You know,

It's like,

And this is,

We go,

This is what we don't trust.

And it's,

You know,

It is so trustworthy,

But the thing is you guys,

We have to be trustworthy for it to work.

Okay.

I want you to really think about that.

You have to be deeply honorable and trustworthy for the energy to work,

Because if you're corrupt,

You will be,

You will give and receive corrupt energy.

It's like Amma talks about the glass of milk.

If it's a dirty,

If it's a dirty glass,

If you pour milk in,

The milk's ruined.

So this is the hard part for you guys.

I go like,

Look,

Look at yourself,

Self-purify,

Self-purify,

You know,

Not in a harsh way,

But in being willing to see one's ego.

Because if you can't see it and then give that over to Amma,

If you're not willing to give your ego over to Amma,

If you want to keep the same games going,

What could she do?

It's why really I'm,

I'm,

I'm just giving direct feedback to people.

It's like with this saying,

Oh,

I'll speak to you or not is finally where I've got to,

Because you guys,

The self-purification is really necessary to receive,

To be able to receive love and to make a difference in this world.

It's like,

You know,

How many,

How often we heard,

Like,

There'll be some government department in charge of,

You know,

Homelessness.

So this is going on in the US,

I think.

So there's $20 billion that was supposed to be spent on homelessness that never got spent on homelessness.

And it's like,

This is what we're like in our egos.

Oh,

I'm a spiritual person.

Do you see you guys?

We go around thinking we're spiritual.

And meanwhile,

Our ego is doing all kinds of tricks.

And that's what we see in the government.

It's because it's in us.

And if you want a pure government,

Then you purify.

Yeah.

And it's not to the,

The,

The trouble is you guys often will go into,

Oh,

I'm a miserable sinner.

I don't want that.

Please don't do that.

It just,

Just go,

Just,

Just,

Just seeing,

Just seeing if there's a bit of a corruption is,

Is enough,

Just noticing it,

Giving it dharma.

You don't have to fix it.

You know,

This would happen to this one all the time.

I'd see like little corruptions.

You know,

I,

I noticed something that I was doing and I go,

That's not the best.

And I give it to my,

You know,

I don't go,

Oh,

I'm a miserable sinner.

It's just whether you really want to like embody it or not,

Or whether you want to like play games,

You know,

This is the,

This is,

This is the rub.

And then it's hard for students because we don't even know we're playing games,

But if your teacher is giving you the feedback,

You're playing games,

You're playing games.

So just getting that feedback.

And then what,

What do you do with it?

If you're honorable,

You will like go,

Okay,

Please show me how to change.

Like you guys,

The human race has never been in a shift like this.

How could we have it?

So not there was somebody,

I might mention this in the satsang.

There was somebody who's,

Who's got kids and they were sick.

And the mom was saying to me that she was so mad because she couldn't lift off their sickness.

And I'm going,

I'm going,

Sweetie,

You,

You know,

You're not Alma,

Just,

Just,

You won't be able to do things like that until you learn to love yourself.

Just,

I said with the kids,

We miss,

We miss the obvious,

Just be with the children,

Just be with them.

This is where this one felt that I remember when I said to you,

I missed the obvious,

But stuff like that,

Where was it?

Like I was lost in my head and I wasn't taking care of my kids in the deep nurturing way they needed.

This is not our fault.

This is our,

Our culture is just getting so heady.

This is how crazy it gets.

We just,

For humans,

You see,

We just need to then be there for our kids.

Keep praying,

Be there for our kids.

Just that's kind of,

Don't try to be perfect.

Don't try to,

You know,

Be able to lift healings up.

I mean,

Be nice.

I don't know.

The thing that helps kids the most is when moms are,

Are,

Are in their hearts.

And,

And for us,

That's the biggest challenge.

But this is how crazy we're getting.

It's very sad.

And the coming out of the ego is the scariest work a human being can do.

But it's scary not to do it.

And who knows,

You know,

There may be a wave of everybody waking up and who knows,

We may suddenly hit the fifth dimension or whatever.

It's just,

Just keep going,

You know,

Just keep,

Just keep,

It's an adventure here,

You know.

I mean,

What's the worst?

I mean,

Supposing we get nuked.

Oh,

Well,

Really?

Like we're all gonna die anyway.

It's not the worst thing that can happen,

You know.

I get,

I've thought about this stuff a lot,

You guys.

You know,

I made a decision that,

That this one could face anything.

We can face anything.

There's nothing that's too much for us to face.

We can face it.

Just,

Just make that decision.

Just,

You just,

You can face anything.

It's,

It's another variation of Amma says,

Just decide to be happy.

It's the same thing.

It's just,

Just decide to take what,

What comes.

Because you guys,

What's gonna come is gonna come anyway.

It doesn't matter what,

You know,

So you might as well just be willing to face it.

There's something in you that is immortal,

Eternal,

That never dies,

That will give you peace.

If you turn and listen,

You have to turn inside and listen and really want to bond with yourself.

Remember at the beginnings of the satsang that Gabriel came and said,

Tell them the answers are inside.

It's nothing,

You know,

And,

And the key,

You guys,

Is because the answers are inside,

You can't use your head.

Okay,

This is where you got to tell your head to go off duty.

Because it's going to bubble up from your heart.

It's not you coming with some kind of head policy,

Trying to do a bad or good thing with your head.

Okay,

How do I organize my life so I'm a perfect spiritual student?

That is doomed to fail.

That is totally head.

What will come up from your heart is the guidance that you need to face the current challenge.

And you need to turn and listen,

And teach this,

Treat this heart well,

With love and respect.

And then that will heal your inner child,

You guys.

Hearts aren't always convenient,

You know,

They'll say things we don't want to hear.

They're like,

Hello.

Think of what happens to,

You know,

The,

The guy who's giving the emperor advice.

And if the emperor doesn't like the advice,

What does he do?

He kills them,

You know,

In the old days.

Okay,

Off with your head.

So this is what our egos do with the real advisor.

So you have to know that and just be a little loose with yourself a little.

It's a messy process,

You guys.

It's kind of messy and confusing.

But if you're sincere,

You will get,

You will get,

You'll come into this relationship with your heart.

Yeah,

You're very dear.

I'm feeling a lot of love coming.

Oh,

It's very,

Very powerful.

I was up since like three o'clock this morning.

And there was just all this love flowing in,

In preparation for today.

Yeah,

Yeah.

It was just coming in like,

And I'm like,

Oh,

Wow.

This is so cool.

This is so cool.

This is so cool.

This is so cool.

Because I,

I had enough sort of twisted tense,

Restless nights.

You know,

But we all have those kind of,

You're not sleeping well,

You're tense,

You're restless,

And life seems bleak.

I,

I,

I went through those too.

But I must say,

It's more fun with this love coming in.

So it's coming in for you guys,

Coming in for this one,

For you guys to hear it and receive it.

There's a,

It's like a transmission,

You guys.

And you can even lie in your bed and,

And think,

Okay,

I want to receive that love that Premasutra was sending.

Yeah,

Receive it.

Take 20 minutes or so and just play with it a bit.

Just be with yourself.

You could experiment,

You know,

If it feels like a good thing to do that.

You know,

There was a,

In World War II,

There was a,

There's a guy here who was in Europe in World War II,

He's dead now,

But he,

He became a healer.

And his story was that when he was 16,

This guard was beating him up.

And suddenly he just stopped and he had this utter compassion for this guard and compassion for himself.

And he said to the guard,

Don't you know,

We love you.

And the guard stopped beating him.

What's the power of love?

It can't be,

You know,

It has to be the real thing to have the power.

But he avoided going into fear and anger,

He just went directly into love.

There's another story I've told you,

I think,

Of this woman in the US,

No,

In England,

Who was picked up and by four guys,

And they took her into the moors to rape her and kill her.

There'd been a series.

And they threw her on the ground.

And suddenly,

She went into the same compassion,

Compassion for them.

She went into great compassion for how they were going to feel afterwards.

And she went,

What did she say?

She said,

It was something like that.

It was something,

Something coming from this compassion that she was feeling for them.

And how lost and in terror they were that they would be trying to help themselves feel better by murdering and raping people.

And they picked her up,

Put her back in the car and drove her to a subway station in London,

Dropped her off,

She got out of the car and fainted.

That's the power of love.

Or a 10 boom was a she was in Europe in the war.

And she did a lot of work helping people.

And she was put into a concentration camp.

She was released by a clerical error the day before all the women of her age group were put to death.

I'll tell you guys,

There is nothing safer than unconditional love.

Nothing.

It's just scary to embody it.

I'll tell you,

If you're feeling fear,

If you just go,

Okay,

This fear is just coming up as part of the preparation for receiving unconditional love.

And seeing it as it's,

It's on its way out,

Rather than it's a problem.

See that it's on its way out.

And you know,

Some of this stuff takes practice.

I was just so desperate.

I just did it.

A lot of this stuff.

I just did it because I was really desperate.

Right.

You know,

That I will to will thy will,

That is a really powerful thing.

Because what will happen is that will invite Amma's will,

Christ's will,

Buddha's will into you.

That will be you telling your unconscious that you want to follow your soul,

That you want to live out your soul.

The more you say that kind of thing,

The more it happens.

And be patient with little steps.

Look for little signs of spring,

Any kind of tiny sign of spring.

Any kind of tiny sign of spring,

Anything.

I used to,

I'll tell you what I did,

I consciously develop an inner personality part.

It was like a salesman selling me on the spiritual journey and praising me.

It was like I kind of made part of my ego like this.

So I'd have this voice in my head saying,

Oh,

You're great.

Great.

You know,

Just keep going.

Keep going.

Yeah.

Really,

Like some of that stuff,

You guys,

When you realize that nobody else can do it,

Like your teacher can't do it for you.

You have to do it.

So sometimes we just fight our teacher,

You know.

So,

Okay.

This is why it takes so many lifetimes.

You know,

Just coming to these,

You get a transmission.

And even if you can't feel it,

It's still coming to you.

It's like Amma talks about,

You get,

If you walk through a perfume factory,

You get covered in scent.

It's the same thing.

And if you walk through a coal factory,

You get covered in coal dust,

Right?

So it's like this,

There is an invincible,

Immortal power behind this and it will have an effect.

I don't know why it has become so cool to be so distressful.

I don't understand it at all.

I don't know why people say,

Well,

Give me the science or tell me the science or whatever.

When people say,

Well,

Give me the science or tell me the science,

When people say,

Well,

Give me the science or tell me the science or whatever,

When science has no problem with this,

We know everything is energy.

That is unconditional love.

It's like,

Duh.

It's like,

You know,

When people say,

Oh,

Show me the science.

I always get the feeling that they're like the old church people in the 1700s,

The really dogmatic people whose church people said,

You can say this and you can't say that.

It's just another version of that.

When people get incredibly dogmatic about science,

Because everybody knows psychic,

Their psychic ability,

Every mother knows stuff about their child that they couldn't know just with their head.

And I think it's women have stayed so silent about this stuff and hidden it.

It's part of why these people are allowed to run amok and go,

Well,

Show me the science.

It's like,

Well,

Just ask any woman and any sensitive male.

It's just like a big,

You know,

Game,

You know,

And it's just leading us to death.

But,

Oh,

Well,

You know,

This is where I am.

Oh,

Well.

Things could change very quickly.

It's like I noticed on LinkedIn,

I'm getting a lot.

I'm getting a lot more profile looks.

You know,

When I first started about,

I don't know,

Five years ago,

It's like it was like nobody visited my profile.

Now I'm,

You know.

And it's kind of it's it's just because as the pain grows,

People are are more desperate.

So they're they're willing to look outside their comfort zone.

Oh,

Sweet ones.

A lot of compassion,

You know,

And remember,

If you come,

Then you're,

You know,

You must be willing if you turn up for these.

You must be because otherwise people can't stand it.

So.

But please follow the guidance of your teacher.

Try,

Try to.

Try.

It's like everything Ama told me,

I was like,

OK,

OK,

OK.

And sometimes I feel like with this,

It's a bit Jenny on the block,

A little bit like a suburban single mom.

And so it's like.

It's not the fullness of what's being offered is sometimes not understood.

Sometimes not understood.

I'll tell you,

There's so many miracles.

I mean,

That is why people can't digest this work,

Because the whole thing is miraculous,

Starting with my son.

And there are just so many of them.

But it's all in this kind of down home,

Kind of next door neighbor talking way.

And I'll tell you,

The extent of the knowledge that you have to come to in order to put it so simply and in such a neighborly way is,

You know,

You guys.

Hello.

And I mean this without self-promotion,

But I just think it's like a bit of it.

It's so sad that it's.

Because it's such the rise of the defined feminine and so much the exuberance and the warmth of the feminine and the forgiveness and the compassion,

And we need it so badly.

Yeah.

And you've got it.

It's there.

You've got it.

You're in a big embrace.

You got Amma.

And then this one comes with.

What this one,

It's all Amma.

It's just premise to this version of Amma.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Yeah,

Please just love yourselves,

You guys.

And your heads can't do it.

Your heads can't do it.

But your hearts can.

Your hearts can hear me and respond to me.

That's all that's needed.

Yeah,

You too can do this.

There's so many angels around you,

I feel like.

Yeah,

Really.

There's one person who's got like about eight around them.

Yeah.

I promise you.

Yeah.

Stephanie.

I just wanted to share,

Because you're talking about miracles and the small,

Seeing the small little things in daily life.

And this past week,

You know,

Last satsang,

You said to say,

You know,

Will to will,

Thy will.

So that's what I was saying this week as a mantra.

And part of me was in a little bit more desperate in the sense of like inside,

I would get the kind of these visualizations,

Almost like I was on my knees saying it in a more stronger feeling way.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

Oftentimes I'm in silence a lot around the ashram.

And,

You know,

I will still,

You know,

Nod and,

You know,

Bow to people.

So there's still an interaction,

I just don't have anything verbal that I'm saying.

So,

You know,

I'm walking around saying,

Will to will,

Thy will.

And people that I no joke,

I,

You know,

I've been here for about a month over a month now,

And people that I would,

You know,

Nod to,

Who would never say do anything back,

And often would keep their head down,

And often would have some of these guys would have masks on,

But they would,

They said hi to me,

Like they would wave,

Or they would bow,

I was almost shocked.

So that happened a few times this week.

But the big one that happened was yesterday,

That this one nurse who went on the bus with me to Faridabad,

And we had a very bad encounter where she took out the IV for me when I got sick,

And I spurted blood everywhere and fainted,

And it's a whole horrible situation,

And I have not had some very good feelings about her,

But been trying my best to forgive her whatnot.

I see her walking almost every day,

And she never says hi to me,

Even though I always kind of look to see if,

You know,

If she's making eye contact,

I can,

You know,

Nod or,

You know,

Something.

But this time,

She was there,

And she was not wearing a mask,

She always wears a mask,

Like almost in utter fear,

Even though she's a nurse.

She wasn't wearing a mask yesterday,

And she just looked at me,

Made full eye contact,

And like,

Like,

Was like,

Hi.

And in that moment,

I had two responses that came up.

First was like,

Fear and terror of this,

Like,

Feeling of this bully almost,

That's what it felt like,

Saying hi,

But also then another,

The reaction of like,

She's saying hi,

Like,

This is an opening,

Like,

Say hi back.

So I do.

And I,

You know,

Nod and say hi,

And we pass.

And I was a little shocked at my reaction afterwards,

Because I didn't anticipate feeling that this fear come up about someone saying hi to me.

But it definitely arose.

And so I've been sitting with that the last day.

But it was really a miracle,

In a sense of,

You know,

By saying,

Walking around and feeling this,

Let,

Let the will of the creator come through me.

It was a,

It was a miracle for me that this person,

First of all,

Acknowledged my existence.

And second of all,

For me to work through some of this fear and terror that's come up,

As well to work through this bullying.

Yeah.

Good.

So there's something I just want to say,

When you said,

Oh,

Yeah,

Then I forgave her.

Okay.

And I registered,

Like,

You know,

That's what we do,

We say,

Okay,

I forgive somebody,

But actually,

We haven't.

It's way deeper than that.

Right?

Yes.

Yes.

So when you say stuff,

Like I will twill thy will,

What will happen is,

The deeper stuff will surface like that.

And by saying I will twill thy will,

Then,

Then what can happen is then you end up,

You can move into a deeper and deeper and a real forgiveness.

Right?

And it's just,

You know,

Our little kid self,

And being frightened of abuse of power,

You know?

Yeah.

So that's what I mean.

It all comes clear.

If you say things like focus on your heart,

Or I will twill the will,

Like you just get cleansed.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I just want to say,

Thank you.

It's magical,

And to encourage other people to gently,

You know,

Play with this,

Or,

You know,

To do it themselves.

It did take,

You know,

Days of saying it,

Though,

And really focusing on it,

Because my I could tell my mind did not want to say it.

And I would forget the words,

Even even though it's short.

I know.

Yeah.

But I do need to work through this forgiveness of her more deeply,

Clearly,

And,

You know,

Journaling about it and whatnot.

But it was,

You know,

A miracle,

Like it felt miraculous.

Okay,

Wait,

Stop again,

When you said you do need to work through the forgiveness of her more deeply,

Like don't make a project.

Just want to embody love.

And all this stuff happens as a byproduct.

As soon as you start saying I need to,

It's just your ego getting in there and trying to make like a soup.

Yes.

Yeah,

It's just,

Just seeing that you don't really forgive her is enough.

Keep your focus on God.

That's it,

You guys.

Sweetie,

I don't mean to look,

I'm just the reason I'm getting is not that you're doing anything wrong.

But this is where you see the the confusions and misunderstandings come and why it seems that things don't work for people.

That's why I'm wanting to spell this out so clearly through you bringing this forward.

It's all very good.

Right?

Right.

Good.

Yeah,

No,

No blame.

And also,

You,

You can,

You know,

Bring this forward and and give like a testimonial,

Which is fantastic.

And then it's just up to everybody about whether they they do it or not.

Do you see?

It'll just be if they've got the juice to do it,

They'll do it.

And if they don't,

If they don't have the will to do it,

They won't.

And maybe in six months,

They will.

Or,

You know,

You can do the 1000 names every day,

There's there's stuff you can do,

It's,

The more you think about the creator,

The more the love comes in.

That's kind of the,

The code.

That's the secret.

It's okay,

And put your arms around your conflicted human selves.

So please,

Self love for the massive conflicts that we are,

You know,

We're just like,

We want the creator,

But we want to be a billionaire or whatever,

Just,

Just,

It's okay.

Just relax.

It's a long journey.

It's a long journey.

Relax.

Yeah.

Okay,

Dear ones,

Thank you so much for coming.

And your questions are all comments were all very good.

Okay,

And hopefully see you tomorrow.

And just all my blessings.

Yeah,

I'm always surrounding you guys with love.

You know that?

You know that?

Yeah,

Love,

Love,

Love,

Love.