Awareness Satsang: How To Evolve As A Human Being

This Awareness Satsang powerfully acknowledges what awkward bedfellows our humanity and divine Essences can be at times. In her humorous, down-to-earth way, Premasudha opens a secret, golden door to a deeper understanding of how to actually evolve here on the earth plane. This satsang offers both practical and transcendent knowledge woven together in such an exuberant acceptance of our bumbling humanity, that we laugh in sweet acceptance at our humanness. This brings us out of religiosity and a 'trying to fix' attitude that can make life so uncomfortable and heavy.
Come and listen and learn how to embody your true Nature in the natural way that Premasudha describes.

Transcript

You know,

There's a Turkish term,

A Turkish Sufi term,

And it's called Sobey,

Sobet.

And it means a transmission of fondness.

It's part of the Sufi tradition,

And it's a transmission of fondness.

And it is considered to be more accelerative than even prayer or meditation.

It's the same principle as Satsang,

Same.

But I just wanted to tell you the other tradition about this,

Because it helps validate what we're doing.

And since we're moving into a higher consciousness,

The constant validation of what we're doing,

It just helps.

It gives the head some security that,

Oh,

Okay,

There's a Sufi tradition,

And this is what we're doing,

And it's been proven before.

So it's like,

It works on your bodies,

Like a gardener in the garden.

Yeah.

So it's a transmission every time.

So we all have to put our own efforts in,

But also there's a leaning back on the love of the universe,

That it provides a structure and an experience for us.

And there's no,

The spiritual experience and the structure come together in the Satsang.

Yeah.

Because a lot of,

You know,

The journey is how much we allow ourselves to receive.

And remember,

All the alienation that our bodies are carrying has come from many lifetimes.

So we've got some patterns that said,

Oh,

This is true.

But the underlying truth we all know is that the creator exists.

Ama exists.

Love exists.

You are love.

This is love.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's very beautiful.

And it will just strengthen you.

And,

You know,

As I said,

The Ama coming through Pramasutra is really around helping to equip people to actually walk the journey,

To actually do it,

Not just kind of sit and think about it,

Or think they're doing it when really they're not walking it in a way that I would understand.

Yeah.

So a lot of it comes down to understanding the human level and valuing the human level,

Valuing the level of expressing the creator in our human lives.

Because it's scary,

You guys.

That's the bottom line.

It's scary.

But it's miraculous.

It's the answer to all your sorrow.

So there's some principles that I really want you to understand,

Which is if you are in pain,

Especially if your pain is intense,

I want you to understand that that is your soul basically screaming for a realignment with your true nature.

Think of like our souls are communicating to us all the time.

And since we're walking along in these patterns that we think are true,

The soul could kind of sit and talk to us till the cows come home.

I felt this with students.

I mean,

I was the same way,

But I felt this with students,

How useless it is sometimes to explain to them where they're blinded because it just doesn't compute.

It's like,

What?

What?

So the soul,

It's as if the soul can't tell us verbally directly.

Think of it like this.

I mean,

They can put somebody like Pramasutra there to speak directly to you,

But by and large,

As I say,

We don't always listen.

So the soul has to make its,

What it wishes,

Very,

Very clear.

So it turns up the pain.

Okay.

I just want you to get the principle so that if you're in pain,

The only thing that's going to help is a surrender into the soul that is setting up this situation where you're in pain.

Please.

It's so simple.

This is what we miss.

You're in pain.

What will help it is a surrender,

But you can't force yourself to surrender.

You can't say,

You know,

I'm going to be a good girl and surrender or a good boy and surrender.

You just have to be with the pain and like,

Take it to God.

Please help me.

And the more you're thinking about God in your daily life,

The more you're tuning up your subconscious to support your journey.

It's like this big ship and the subconscious,

It's like a big ship that will make your dreams come true if you keep seeding it with the creator.

Do you know?

But if you're thinking about how,

I don't know,

Your coat's a year out of style and you're upset about that,

Like that,

The subconscious is,

You know,

That doesn't help the journey that much,

Although it's very human.

So it's all good.

You guys,

It's so simple.

We miss it.

This is why,

Except as you become as little children,

You cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.

I mean,

What you guys want to do with your pain is decide what's bad and good.

You know,

What you'll do is you'll go,

Well,

Is it okay for me to actually feel this pain?

This is what we're like.

It's like,

How self-hating is that?

If you're in pain,

You're in pain.

It is non-negotiable.

Yeah,

Sweeties,

This is where it's like,

We're like abused children.

It's like,

We don't know that we're actually allowed to just be ourselves.

So there was a very sweet one who was talking yesterday about being upset with noise and she was trying to figure out whether it was okay or not for her to speak up.

And it's like,

If you're upset about noise,

It's okay for you to speak up.

You know,

You'll have to take the consequences of speaking up.

It's like,

You'll see what the outcome is.

So in the case where we might want to speak up,

But we're also aware that our nervous system is very heightened.

So it's sort of like,

It's partly us and partly them,

But out of self-love,

We might choose to speak up.

Then take a picture of how it all goes.

Does your need get validated or not?

And then you take the results to the creator.

You go like,

You know,

If they listen and they change the problem,

Great.

You just got an experience of,

You know,

Standing for yourself and being validated.

And if they ignore you,

Then you can feel the helplessness and hopelessness that you felt as a child and take that to the creator and ask for help.

You see,

It is a backstopping of yourself moment by moment with everything.

There's another dear one who made a request for some information and a person said,

Okay,

But then they sent an email and ignored it,

Ignored the request.

So this person was feeling like hurt and a little sorry for themselves.

And I'm like,

Email that person back and say,

Have I upset you at all?

I thought you were going to send me this information,

But it didn't come.

Is there a problem?

Is there something I've done or something?

Do you see,

Like follow up,

Find out the truth.

She might write back and say,

Well,

Actually I felt that you were trying to kind of steal my efforts.

You know,

Like whatever it is,

Just stand with,

And maybe she'd say,

Oh,

I forgot.

And then she'd send it.

And then the person would see that they had power.

It's like being a warrior,

A little bit of a warrior on your behalf.

Now,

You guys,

This is something this one did in spades.

It's what I did.

Something would happen.

You know,

Sometimes I would be paralyzed and would not take any action,

But when I took action and actually took that step to say,

Okay,

You know,

Did you,

Did you mean to not send me this stuff or,

But putting it very,

Very charmingly.

It's,

It's how I grew.

And a lot of you just sit so passively.

You don't take action to support your heart and you want to evolve spiritually.

And I'll tell you,

Good luck with that.

You won't,

You won't,

You'll just,

It's just a way of staying heady.

It is these actions in support of your heart,

Even if it feels really sort of stupid.

There is another dear one who's a wonderful,

Wonderful mother.

And I spoke about it yesterday and I spoke about it yesterday and she had been,

Her kids were sick and she had been having a,

Being in a bit of darkness and thinking,

Oh,

I should be able to lift this illness off them and kind of berating herself.

And I'm going like,

Sweetheart,

You know,

You're,

You're not Alma yet.

Like,

You know,

Like,

You know,

Your kids will,

Something like that could be possible if you were being really,

Really true to your heart.

Just being really,

Really true to your heart will actually just make everything better for your kids.

But what she was missing was just coming alongside and just being a mother to those children,

You see.

And the reason I spoke it is because this is what this one did in spades,

Where I'd say,

Like,

I missed the obvious with my kids because I was going around on the spiritual journey in my head,

Da-da-da-da.

It's like,

That's why the boy said,

Well,

The best thing you ever did was get the doc,

Because it's just a human,

A human thing that kids need.

Like,

So what I want to say is this is where we miss it.

We go up into our heads and we miss the really simple human heart-based response.

And you'll be able to come back to this,

To the very simple human heart-based response,

The more you love yourself,

But your ego will scream,

I'll tell you.

But it solves everything.

And it's why you guys all love this one,

Because that's what I did.

And this one was so heady,

Like,

Oh my goodness.

Yeah,

I think,

You know,

PhD and idiocy.

Yeah.

But then our whole world is a PhD in idiocy.

And,

You know,

The Buddhists say that it's just,

The world's just on fire.

It's just burning,

Meaning that we all come to the earth for our egos to burn.

That's why it's so terrible here.

Right.

In a way,

We should focus on coming from our hearts more and stop focusing on the world.

This is challenging nowadays.

Yeah.

And the other thing,

This lovely mama,

She had a realization that she,

You know,

Had been trying to focus on her intuition,

Trying to focus on her intuition,

And then she realized that she really was.

But she really was in focusing on her intuition.

You see,

This is over and over again,

You guys,

You will realize that you were better than you thought.

I mean it,

That you're better than you thought.

That is what happens over and over.

Oh,

I was doing it all along.

I just didn't see the God in me.

I was in my ego in my head.

I didn't see that I was already doing it.

Right.

Because this sweetheart had,

I had said,

You know,

About lying down after the question and answer to receive the transmission afterwards.

And she had already been practicing that.

She's already doing it.

See,

This is what we're like.

You see,

That's why the spiritual journey,

They talk about how it's the farthest away and it's the closest in.

Both.

The farthest away when we're in that intense feeling of separation and we feel feeling of separation and we feel so far from God.

And then if,

You know,

When we move through it,

We realize that we're part of God ourselves.

That it's closer than close because we're part of God.

It's just to have the courage to experience the separation and then go through it to connecting back with yourself.

And the hard thing to watch for this one is many walk around in this separation and don't feel allowed to love themselves enough to,

You know,

Just like email somebody back and say,

Hey,

I thought you were going to send this material.

Is there a problem?

Have I done something wrong?

You know,

Just taking a step rather than staying in kind of a self-pitting separation that is really chronic in a lot of you.

I kind of not,

Not you guys particularly,

Just in people kind of a chronic feeling of separation from self-pity or in resentment,

Both.

I call them the two dog houses that where we can get knocked off for a whole lifetime playing in those.

And I used to,

You know,

When I would feel myself in self-pity,

That was my favorite self-pity.

My mom was big on resentment,

So I think I took the other one.

Anyway,

And self-pity is more inner focused,

Resentment is more outer.

But I would go,

Okay,

I'm really in self-pity and I would will myself to like,

I'd go,

Okay,

I know this isn't going to work.

Please help me into surrender.

I don't want to do this.

I'd go,

Okay,

I know this isn't going to work.

Please help me into surrender.

I really know self-pity doesn't work.

And it would take real will to do that,

To kind of will to shift out of it into a surrender because my ego really wanted to stay in self-pity.

So,

Don't worry if you don't understand all of this stuff.

Like,

It just takes time,

You know,

But then it becomes like two plus two equals four and you realize,

What's the problem?

It sounds simple,

But that's just,

You know,

It's a comedy,

You guys,

It's a comedy.

It's like little kids will,

You watch them make,

You know,

There's a psychologist,

Piaget,

That talked about the steps of child brain development and understanding development.

We do the same kind of things.

Like there's,

It's,

You know,

Everything in our human experience reflects the divine.

So,

We love our children.

It's like the divine loves us.

Little children go through these steps of understanding.

We go through the same steps of understanding on the journey.

It's all,

That's why I bring things back to the domestic level so often because it is a reflection of our souls.

And it,

If you see the connection between our human experience and our souls,

Then you can love and forgive yourselves more.

You go,

Instead of me being like,

Oh,

I'm not getting the journey.

It's like,

You go,

Well,

You know,

There are stages on the journey,

Just like there's stages of childhood development.

I've told you that around six or seven,

It's like one summer when I buy,

My mom used to give us like a daily dime and everything.

And sometimes I'd buy something and get change.

And I remember looking and trying to,

Sometimes I really saw that when I bought the whatever bar and I got change,

It was because I'd bought the bar.

I paid for the bar.

And then sometimes I couldn't really make sense of it.

It's just,

It's just funny.

You know,

There's,

There's someone who keeps getting bumped out into the waiting room.

And I think it's because she's not quite sure that she deserves.

So let's send love to her.

She's worthy.

She's one of us.

She is part of God.

But this is what it's like,

You know?

I mean,

Our issues are always showing themselves,

You know,

And it's just being awake and aware to be able to see it.

But you guys,

This takes time to understand yourselves.

We're taught to be bad or good and fit in like a cog in the wheel.

So to actually step back and decide to love and understand yourself is a very radical step.

Very radical.

Yeah.

Takes time.

I feel this spring air coming through.

And at the same time,

I've kind of run out of topics to talk about.

We'll see what happens next.

Yeah.

Maybe it's time for a comment from you guys.

Is there anything that's come up?

The other simple thing I've said,

You know,

If you're feeling heavy,

It's the ego and just go,

Okay,

This is clearing.

But you see,

You can't say,

Okay,

You feel heavy and go,

It's clearing.

It won't work if you're not like really devoted to the journey.

That only works if you're devoted,

You can't just go,

Okay,

It's clearing because unless your will is oriented towards it clearing,

It won't clear.

This is what I'm talking about.

You have to walk it.

You have to,

This,

You know,

Part of the reason I'm so big on integrity is because,

You know,

You've heard it a million times,

Like I love my mom,

Like bless her heart,

But she was not in integrity and she was so subtle in her ways.

Like she'd pretend she was integrity and she wasn't,

It was just terrible.

But anyway,

Bless her heart.

You know,

I've told you that she helps me a lot from heaven.

I think this woman is just like,

She just is,

I can't tell you,

She's just like this energetic figure who's just always there helping me.

And really,

I think it's because,

You know,

She kind of,

You know,

She's trying to heal what happened in a way,

You know.

But that's too heavy.

It's lighter than that.

Just trying to assist.

But anyway,

It's the walking it.

It's having enough clarity to walk it.

And to understand that if you're unhappy,

There is a problem.

It's not to be ignored.

It's not to be repressed.

Anything you repress,

You guys,

Is going to surface with more power in the future.

But don't do it.

You might not want to act on if,

You know,

You're feeling rage,

But don't push it down.

I feel like I'm trying to teach little children how to be themselves.

It's just so,

It's just like such a comedy.

Yeah.

See,

I could never do it.

Like,

I remember,

Like,

If,

It's like,

I start if,

When stuff was really wrong on a soul level,

Even when I was really asleep,

My body would get in such a high degree of arousal that I could not just go along with things.

So,

I remember,

This is,

You know,

In the old days of where there was,

You know,

Growing up,

There was more hula.

Anyway,

I was getting,

I was up at Whistler Mountain skiing,

And I was to get a ride home with a really good friend's brother who had this,

Like,

Red sports car.

And I couldn't do it.

I just got this thing of,

Don't go with this guy.

And I ended up taking the train home,

Which was,

It was some evening train,

And it was absolutely full of drunk people,

Like,

Really seriously drunk people.

And I'm sitting there in,

You know,

Like,

A 16-year-old,

Like,

Entitled kid sitting with all these drunk people.

And I didn't understand why I had been unable to take this ride home with this guy.

I just,

I just,

Like,

What is it?

And part of it was the red sports car and the entitled thing kind of revolted me,

But it turned out that this guy was actually doing fraud at this time.

He was engaged in heavy fraud.

Yeah.

Well,

I didn't know that,

But I think that's part of why I didn't want a ride home with him.

And it was very embarrassing at the time,

You know,

Because it was my friend's brother and everything.

But they were used to,

You know,

Hobbes.

They were used to some of this stuff.

Yeah.

You guys,

If knowing this one gives you more permission to be yourselves,

Like,

Happy camper,

Just happy camper.

Yeah.

Right.

Because I'll tell you,

There's no firing squad for just being yourself.

You know,

There's no witch burnings.

We're in this time where it's so crazy that actually you can just kind of,

Well,

You might as well just be yourself because all the rules are going south anyway.

Right.

You know,

The characteristics of Aquarius are negative pole,

It's heavy conformity.

And in the positive pole,

Or I consider it positive.

I don't know.

It's just the other pole.

It's kind of a very radical individualism,

Like a Sufi thing,

Or just some radical individual.

So,

We've got both.

We've got this push for this conformity and,

You know,

The mechanistic,

Just we all know how it's going.

And then there are little people going,

People going,

And they're just being individual in their very different ways.

So,

Hopefully this is like being true to the individual heart,

The individual God within.

Because just,

You know,

Being individual could still be just locked in your ego,

You're just doing an egocentric thing.

But when it's listening to the creator within you,

Then it really does good for everybody.

Yeah,

I'm feeling your beauty.

Yeah.

Eva,

Do you have a question or comment?

Do you hear me?

Yes.

Yay.

Good.

Okay.

Hi.

Yeah.

The first time I speak up here,

I'm a little bit excited.

Yeah,

You were talking about this heavy,

Heavy stuff,

Which our bodies are feeling.

And I had these,

The last days when I woke up,

And I have it very often,

I lie in my bed,

Waking up,

And I don't have to go out because I have time.

So,

I'm lying there and feeling this,

It draws me very deep and very heavy.

It feels very heavy and very deep.

And I'm just lying there and sometimes it's impossible for me to stand up.

I just have to lie there and feel all this heavy stuff and this mud and darkness.

And it's kind of just being fixed in the bed.

And sometimes I'm not able to get up.

And I'm not sure whether it's good to feel,

But it never ends.

It feels like it never ends.

I can stay there and feeling forever maybe.

And sometimes then I get up and it's like a shift.

Maybe it's quite okay how I do it.

It's just okay,

I feel it for a while and then I stand up and maybe taking a shower or doing some movement or what else,

Meditate,

And then it feels,

It shifts,

It's another feeling.

But sometimes it's so,

It draws me so deep and so like kind of in the dark or in the shadow.

So,

I'm not sure whether it's good to stay there or better to get up and take a shift to get in the higher or in the light.

Okay,

So you're doing,

Okay,

And this is very understandable,

There's no criticism.

You're doing the bad and good thing with the state.

You're going,

Well,

Is this okay or is this bad?

There's nothing wrong with that.

But we talked about,

You know,

This is the soul communicating to you.

So,

Okay,

This is what we do is,

Is this good or this bad?

But the step we miss is this full frontal,

So why am I feeling this darkness?

What is this?

Please help me bring more.

Do you see what I mean?

Asking what it is.

Asking what it is.

Yeah,

But asking what it is beyond the bad and good thing,

Right?

So,

Eva,

It is profoundly awesome you've raised this.

I had lots of times like that,

And I would feel very much the same way.

I'd be like,

Is this ever going to end?

I'm going like,

Okay,

This is a spiritual journey,

And I'm going to end in my death.

Right?

We could feel like that,

Yeah.

It's actually,

You know,

Your body is actually going,

Moving into a higher vibration.

By being with this and just being with it and having an attitude of self-compassion,

I mean,

This is what just saved me over and over was,

I'd imagine,

You know,

Angels hugging me.

I'd imagine universal compassion for this woman who was so stuck in the mud.

But Eva,

It's interesting.

I can feel it.

This mud is around your really learning to validate your true nature.

Yeah,

It's very beautiful.

Yeah,

That's why it's coming up,

Because it's coming up to be cleared so that you'll help you.

I mean,

It's part of the moving in to validate your true nature.

Yeah,

I can feel it.

Just a minute.

I want to feel more here.

You know,

You're still part of God,

Even if you're lying in bed full of mud.

And even if you feel you're indulging yourself,

You're still part of God.

And you're still part of God if you wake up or if you get up and make yourself feel.

Feel.

It's the issue is around clearing your understanding that you are part of God as you are,

No matter what.

Beyond bad and good.

So what's happening in your body as I speak,

And also your mind,

Just what do you do with that?

And be really,

Really 100% honest right now.

Yeah,

Right now.

I feel a kind of joy and it's a kind of lightness,

Which is also fun.

I feel very well in my body.

Right.

The whole day,

There were lots of pain.

But since I'm sitting from responding to what I'm saying to you,

Okay,

Okay,

You guys,

You do this,

Like,

Be with your teacher.

How are you responding to this transmission that I am giving you right now?

And the verbal content of what I've said to you?

Joy,

It's just joy.

Yeah.

And I understand what you say.

Right.

That's it.

And this is the power of Sobat,

That you can get the transmission and you get the compassion,

Understanding of the teacher,

Because this is,

You know,

This is why I feel,

You know,

Vivekananda said that all the women in the world should cry,

Because it's this recovering of the feminine.

And sometimes we're in our beds.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's like that,

With great heaviness.

Yeah.

And this is why I'm really hoping increasingly that women learn how to compassionately witness each other,

Because if we understand that this is the process we're doing,

We could support each other more deeply.

And the men are in it,

Too.

It's just the women,

It's women who get more likely to just be like,

Flatten their backs in their bed,

You know?

Yeah.

And feeling guilty about it.

Yeah.

And it's not,

You know,

It's not to stay in bed,

You know,

But it's just just being with the truth of how you are doing.

You know,

Being with the truth of things,

Not trying to sugarcoat or put a pretty face on things.

This is something I've seen women do all the time.

They will feel great distress inside,

And they'll put a pretty face over it.

And it's the eons of the patriarchy.

And it's just so quick.

It's so comes in.

So just,

Yeah.

Just be with the truth of yourself.

Thank you,

Eva.

Yep.

Yeah.

Right.

Is anybody else?

Remember,

You know,

If you're here,

You're sincere.

You might be fooling yourself on some levels.

You might go,

Okay,

Show me universe.

So interesting,

I'm feeling this level of deep judgment coming up,

Eva.

It's probably partly it's because what,

What the work we did with you,

It's like,

You know,

Sometimes in myself with when I was clearing,

I would reach like Old Testament level.

And that's,

It was very difficult.

Right?

It's heavy,

Authoritarian kind of judgment.

It's like a boot,

You know,

A heavy boot squishing.

So I'm feeling this coming up with you guys.

I'm feeling it.

Okay,

Laura,

Please.

Oh,

There she is.

Yeah,

Laura.

Hi.

I feel like I've hit a bottom.

My soul must be screaming,

Because my phone keeps going off in the field.

And I'm in a lot of pain,

Physically and mentally.

And all I want to do is pull into my shell.

And there's a lot of,

I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself.

And I feel that from out there to come out.

I don't want to,

Because I just want to get under the bed.

And I pray to well,

To well by well,

Over and over.

But I'm mad when I wake up.

I don't want to be here.

And that sounds like self pity.

That's why I didn't want to speak up.

It doesn't sound like self pity to me.

It just sounds like sometimes we,

It's like that.

Right?

Okay.

So,

Sweetie,

Since I've known you,

There's part of you that you try to avoid.

And it's the rage against yourself.

I'm feeling rage.

And it's reckless.

And I've called angels in to keep me safe.

Right.

Right.

Okay,

So hold on.

Let me just be with this for a while.

Please.

Yeah,

Sweetie.

Oh,

We're all with you.

Sweet one.

We're all with you.

Oh,

Oh my goodness.

Truly.

I need some help.

Yeah.

I just have to feel into this.

I just have to feel into this.

Okay,

This one's going to bumble with this.

It's,

You know,

The rage,

For all of you understand this,

The inner rage gives our minds,

Makes our intellects like a knife,

Like a sheer cliff,

A sheer wall,

Like a razor's edge wall.

Okay.

So,

With Flora,

Like,

We get so that we don't want the outside at all,

Like we're trying to protect ourselves from the outside.

But the problem is these walls in our thinking,

And that and that we were trying to protect ourselves from the outside,

But underneath,

We're trying to protect ourselves from our own soul.

Sweet one.

And I feel such empathy and compassion because I know this level.

Wait,

What did you do?

Oh,

I did what you do.

I mean,

I,

You know,

I prayed a lot.

I learned so much from what you go through what you went through.

So what did you do?

Yeah,

And it's kind of like,

You know,

Just what you're doing.

Yeah.

It's like,

Just what you're doing.

I don't know.

It's like bumbling through praying,

Just like,

I don't know,

Being in bed,

Sometimes hating the world,

Sometimes just,

You know,

And but I would be,

You know,

It's like all of it.

We're just human.

It's like,

But when I hated the world,

I would,

I would be aware that it wasn't their fault.

Okay,

So,

But not that it was my fault.

It was just me hating the world was showing me like,

You know,

It wasn't solvable there.

I really knew it's not solvable to stay in hating the world.

It's,

It's a reflection of our own hatred of ourselves.

And just knowing that I would,

You know,

Just be with myself,

But I but I knew I was off.

You know,

I,

If I'm hating the world,

I'm off.

But it's not something to be fixed.

It's just knowing that you're off.

Right?

And not judging yourself,

That you're bad.

You know,

Laura,

It's that that's your biggest problem is this judgment of yourselves,

Or I'm trying to fix it's just like,

I mean,

I'm really glad you reached out in the sad saying,

I mean,

This is the stuff that heals us,

We start,

We expose this stuff,

We shine a light on this stuff.

And,

And the resistance dissolves,

We start feeling that we're okay,

The way we are.

That you're okay,

The way you are,

Laura.

And you're just going through a phase where you're hating the world.

And you know,

And I know you've got this brain thing,

Which then just,

You know,

You've just the universe has given you kind of like an impossible cone.

It's kind of like,

It's kind of like,

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

And it's like,

How does Laura move into truth when her when her mind's not completely trustworthy,

Like it's an impossible cone.

You get it?

It's impossible,

Sweet one.

It is impossible.

The only thing that can possibly solve it is your own soul will just solve it.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Beautiful.

Oh,

This really helped everybody.

You guys.

Thank you.

Oh,

Sweet.

Thank you,

Laura.

Thank you.

I love you so much.

I love all of you guys so much.

Lauren,

I've got this long history.

You know,

It's a Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I mean,

It's it's a creator and you speaking to you,

Sweetie.

You guys do you see if you Okay,

This is how my comprehension came.

I would feel all these kind of feelings and everything.

And then I would shift into some kind of self acceptance.

And as I did that,

My comprehension went up.

So I would do things like,

Oh,

It's like,

This feels impossible.

Your spiritual challenges will always feel impossible.

That's the mark.

And the only thing that can solve it is the soul.

Because it's so impossible to the head.

So,

All I see,

So,

You know,

So,

Because this one has felt so much dense emotion,

Everything,

When I'm speaking to Laura,

I can say to her,

Oh,

You're in a colon,

You're in a what is the sound of a one hand clapping,

It's not solvable at all by the head,

It's the soul has to solve it.

So the students of old time,

You know,

The teacher would ask that,

And then the student would think about it,

Think about it,

Think about it,

Maybe for six months,

And then come forward with an answer.

And the teacher would know whether the answer had ego in it,

Or had soul in it.

And no matter what the answer,

You mean,

Even if the person said,

Rock or a flower,

If that answer had come from the soul,

The teacher would say,

You're right.

That's it.

And if somebody had some kind of elaborate,

Logical thing,

Or something that came to from their egos,

The teacher would smell it and go,

No.

There is,

You see,

There is no particular right answer at the level of the object level,

At the level of the physical,

There's no particular answer,

Right answer.

There's a soul answer that comes through the physical.

Yeah.

So sweetie,

Just you're living a koan.

Just go like I'm living in this koan.

And it's,

You see,

But because you felt loved and understood,

You surrendered to a deeper level,

It gave you more permission to accept yourself.

Yeah.

Good work,

Laura.

Good work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Laura did need this.

You know,

This is a while ago,

But I had this debt for,

I had to buy a car and it was a significant debt.

And,

But I wasn't worried.

It's kind of like,

Oh,

Well,

This will get sorted.

And Laura,

You know,

Premasudha,

I just have this feeling to give you this amount of money,

You know.

Yay,

Laura.

Thank you.

But it was interesting because it was such a,

It was a metaphor at the time in my own journey for,

You know,

My way of travel of um,

Reaching a certain,

It was a position of being really able to move forward totally in my soul energy.

And this whole thing with the car validated it.

And I am not saying you guys should give me money at all.

Okay.

Not at all.

I'm just highlighting in a way Laura's innocence.

Do you see what I mean?

She just,

Just felt it over the ethos.

Oh,

Laura,

How do you feel about this?

Okay.

Because I'm feeling some,

What's going on with you when I say this?

I heard it very clearly when I woke up one morning,

Just give Premasudha this money.

But what you said really,

You said it's like a big iron heavy coat just came right off.

And that made sense.

A big weight was lifted.

Yeah.

And we do that for each other.

Right.

And,

And we don't see how alignment where we don't realize how good we are in alignment.

And again,

You guys,

I'm not suggesting giving me money.

I'm just highlighting this thing about the car and about that.

It,

It was for me,

It was like,

Okay,

Proof there.

Okay.

The universe is really backstopping me.

You know,

Amma is always talking about a net and how one thing happens here,

It affects over here and it's all connected.

And that really helped me see how connected it all is.

Because look at you now.

I know,

But Laura,

Look how in alignment you are,

You were and are in order to do that.

Right.

This is what,

See the God in you,

See how the God is already operating.

And again,

You guys,

I just have to say not a call for money at all.

Yeah.

Isn't it beautiful.

You guys,

Isn't it beautiful.

It's so beautiful.

And we could join in the sad saying,

And we could,

We can play into the creator's energy and it can be strengthened in all of us this way.

It's so thrilling.

And the great thing about sad sayings,

It enables me to cut through the ego stuff so cleanly in a way,

Because of a little bit of a distance like this,

A little bit of a physical distance.

And also you get the group dynamic,

You get the individual freeing of the God self and it enhances the whole group.

Yeah.

But you see,

You guys,

Some of you are trying to apply things that I've said,

But you're not sincere enough on the journey for those things to work.

This is the rub with this work.

I mean,

You have to really,

Really be steering towards real sincerity.

It's like any casual thing won't really work.

And you'll go,

Oh,

It seemed really great when she was saying it during sad saying,

But it's not working.

Well,

You just have to keep taking it to God or ask me directly.

Because some of you are like lower down and you're trying to apply stuff from up here,

But you have to climb higher before it will work for you.

The thing that will always apply is the more you think about the creator,

The more your subconscious will get saturated with that and it will steer you towards truth.

And this is the most ravest work anybody can do,

Because when the ego comes up,

It's really uncomfortable.

So,

You know,

The thing,

This one,

Chads,

Was I had so much experience with darkness coming and then leaving my cells that even if I'm like feeling so heavy with it and stuck,

I'd still underneath know that it was going to go.

Because that's what always happened before,

You know,

In the ancient times when the sun came up,

They'd give gratitude again.

Oh,

The sun rose again.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Right.

But it's a little bit the same.

It's like,

Is it going to work this time?

It's worked before,

But is it going to work this time?

And it always did work.

So,

It gives you a baseline of trust.

But some of you are still trying to get the journey with your heads and avoid your heart.

So,

I was speaking with a lovely person yesterday and they were,

You know,

I was trying to steer them into just being present with me and honest.

And,

You know,

So we,

This took some time.

And then finally,

The person said,

Yeah,

I kept on going,

How are you feeling right this moment?

They're going in the past,

Doing all the things.

And then just saying good,

I'm fine.

It's like,

But what are you really?

And then finally,

The person said,

Well,

My heart's clenched and I feel a clench in my solar plexus,

But that's my normal.

He had said to me,

Or this person had said to me,

Oh,

It's my normal.

I was feeling normal.

I go,

What's normal?

Okay.

It's this clench,

Heart clench,

And the solar plexus pain.

Now,

This person did not want to have to face how clenched they were.

They didn't want to face the wall that their body was showing them that they were behind because the heart clenched pain in the solar plexus.

You see,

You person can live with this stuff for years and years and years.

If you're not willing to face it,

You'll live with it for years and years and years.

You have to be going like,

Okay,

Hey,

My heart's clenched,

My solar plexus clenched.

Okay.

Universe,

I'm really uncomfortable with this.

Please show me,

Please help me.

And then really pay attention to the actions that help the heart open,

That make the clench go down.

And then you keep doing those kinds of actions.

You stick with the empirical evidence.

You notice what makes you feel better.

All this is good.

This person is making a lot of progress.

It's all good.

It's just this focus is on the live journey because I feel like this stuff just gets lost and the,

It gets ignored.

It gets ignored by religiosity.

We're going around with,

Oh,

Am I bad or good or all the rules?

And it's like this deeper way of actually moving into truth just doesn't get seen.

And I'm just highlighting it because it's what works.

And that's all I would stick with when I was going through all this.

It was like the empirical evidence of all this really works.

Even if it doesn't make sense to the mind or seems kind of weedy because you see,

You guys,

There is not,

Then it's been disallowed,

Taboo to pay attention to your heart,

To your individuality,

To your true individuality.

I'm not talking about buying designer things to make a fashion statement,

An individual fashion statement.

I'm talking about loving your true individual self.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

You know,

I'm sending a lot of love.

There's somebody who's walking around in confusion.

They walk around in confusion a lot.

Sending a lot of love.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel you're not quite ready to talk,

But I know who you are and I'm sending huge,

Huge love.

Yeah.

And we walk around in confusion.

It's like,

It's the fear polarity.

And then when we move into trust,

It turns into true knowledge or true comprehension.

So,

If you're in confusion,

You're in fear.

So,

You just keep asking for help and then you'll be taken through whatever you're to be taken through emotionally.

And if you just follow it,

You get shifted into knowledge,

But sometimes into this comprehension.

But sometimes you see,

We're scared to know what we know.

We're scared to understand the truth.

The truth.

So,

It feels safer to just walk around in confusion.

It's like I said before,

I remember feeling that even though I was on the spiritual journey,

I was kind of hiding,

But I didn't know the level that I was hiding at.

And that hiding left me in a confusion.

It was kind of how I knew underneath that I was,

Something was missed.

I was confused.

And then as I kept going on the journey,

I had less sense of hiding and more sense of real comprehension.

This has been one of the sweetest satsangs that this one's ever given.

I'm just like,

Blissed.

Yeah.

And it's all of us,

You guys.

I mean,

I'm saying this one's giving it,

But actually it's,

We're the pie,

We're the soup,

We're the stew,

We're the,

It's everybody.

Yeah.

Your God selves and all your misunderstandings,

The frailties,

All of it,

It's all this beautiful garden.

It's like,

You know,

The seed sprouts.

So,

It looks ugly when it's sprouting.

And it has to dig down to find the nutrients,

To build roots,

And it has to sprout.

And it has to dig down to find the nutrients,

To build roots and find the nutrients.

This is what we're like on the journey.

We have to like,

Sort of work hard to make the connection to truth,

To find the nutrients.

And,

You know,

I always think the acorns,

You know,

The ones who don't sprout would be looking at the sprouting acorn who's becoming a great oak and saying,

Oh,

You're weird.

You're pretty ugly.

What's the matter with you?

But then they all rot.

They all rot away.

And the acorn that sprouted becomes the great oak.

Do you know?

I would think that often.

Okay,

I'm the sprouting acorn.

I'm going to become the great oak.

If you guys knew how weedy it was,

Really.

Yeah.

It's funny.

It was so weedy.

And now I realize like that was the kind of priceless ingredient that this one allowed it to get so kind of vulnerable and weedy and everything.

And that's why everybody wants to listen to this one now.

It's such a comedy,

Right?

This is why I'm like,

To sanction,

To okay your deep humanity,

Your humanity.

God comes in through us.

Our humanity is the vehicle for which we're expressing our God selves.

Yeah,

There's somebody feeling very,

Very sensitive,

A little wounded,

Very,

Very sensitive,

And I'm sending love.

Huge amounts.

The other thing I guess I'd like to close with is,

You guys,

It's okay to be honest.

Really,

Really honest.

Not in a judging way.

Honest with yourselves,

Not in a judging way.

You're very,

Very precious.

I'm sending love to few.

I mean,

I'm sending love to all of you,

But there are few who really need it.

So,

This love is coming to like fill up all deficits,

All loneliness,

All self-doubt.

It's kind of holding you as you feel all that,

Not to fix all that,

Just embracing you,

Holding you.

Yeah.

On the journey,

We take our clothes off.

It's like we,

And we present ourselves naked before God.

That's what it is.

We go,

Oh,

I don't have any protection.

Oh,

Maybe I'm a bit flabby.

Maybe I'm not good enough.

So,

It's for you to use your will to kind of,

I'm part of God.

I'm,

I'm as in me,

Creator's in me.

Just keep backstopping yourselves.

Laugh at yourselves if you can.

It's taken this one decades to be able to laugh at herself.

It's where we get so kind of pompous and self-righteous,

We lose our sense of humor.

We go,

I'm right.

I'm right.

And it's like,

Well,

Sometimes we're right.

Sometimes we're wrong.

It's like,

But we're always part of God,

You know.

The other thing I was feeling was there was someone where there was a little bit of a kerfuffle between the two of us and you know,

There was kind of an apology,

But it was a very defended apology.

And so I noted that.

Then the next one was like 50% innocence apology.

And the third one had some degree of an innocent apology.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

And I really do feel so many problems in the world would just disappear if we just said,

I'm sorry,

You know,

For when we're in the wrong.

Stop trying to defend ourselves.

Just go,

I'm sorry.

You won't die.

I'll tell you,

You know,

What does Christ say?

A gentle answer turneth away wrath.

It's like,

Just say sorry.

I mean,

Mean it.

Like we goof.

It's okay to goof.

Say sorry and mean it don't try to protect yourself.

The other person will,

Their heart will open.

If it's really a real apology,

Most times the person just,

It disarms them.

You know,

The way it is now with our complicated society,

In larger things that nobody can apologize because if they apologize,

Then they're scared of getting damages against them.

So there's this brinksmanship,

This game playing,

You know,

But personally,

Personal levels,

Just be free to say,

Sorry.

We're all goofs.

We goof sometimes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Beloved.

This was,

This has been thrilling and me,

You know,

Let's maybe just keep going.

Yeah.

Bless you,

Dear.

Thank you for showing your faces and even your name.

You're just so adorable.

My heart just loves you.