Awareness Is The Creator

When we can observe our thoughts and identify the traps of self-pity and resentment, we have our ticket to self-realization.
Both self-pity and resentment are two dog houses where we can hide for our lifetimes, circulating round in the ego storylines we all know so well.

Just noticing your thoughts are stuck in resentment and self-pity clears the way for a surrender to your true Nature. Your own higher awareness, such as your ability to notice your thoughts, is your Soul shining through. Polish it up by loving yourself and forgiving your humanity. If you fall, just brush yourself off and try again.

We are all learning and will make mistakes. But please always remember you are infinitely precious just as you are.
Love love love love

Transcript

He's asking Amma,

The creator of the universe,

For us to receive the grace because we are in the grace.

We are in unconditional love,

You guys.

You know,

Christ said we are in eternal life.

We're in our soul,

Really.

We've just got this bubble of illusion that we're playing in,

A leela.

I don't know.

This is the gig.

This is the game.

But,

You know,

I've got a couple of things to say before we start.

You know,

Our souls,

The creator,

Amma,

Is always speaking to us.

They're always showing us what we're doing.

So,

It's so simple and so big,

We miss it.

So,

Just about the plastic and that they're finding plastic in our bodies.

It's like we're living in a plastic way.

I get it.

I mean,

It's so simple.

Really,

If we bond to our hearts,

The whole problem with plastic would be solved.

We wouldn't be interested in it.

We'd come up with some solution for the contamination.

It would all get solved if we go that way.

And same with AI.

It's sort of like a picture of an ego run amok.

It's like,

You know,

An ego that's listening and responding to the soul can be very kind of helpful,

Like AI could be helpful.

But if it's not connected,

If we're not connected to truth,

If we're not interested in truth,

It's far more likely that AI will run amok.

You see,

I mean,

It's all there,

Just staring us in the face.

And all these problems could be solved by this increased sincerity,

Increased turning to the divine.

And this will solve our personal problems and our social problems,

You know.

And the sad thing is that with our alienated cultures,

We're not bonded.

And Prima Sutta really empathizes with this.

It's scary to bond to truth.

It's scary to actually bond with a teacher as well.

It's scary to love,

You guys.

If you've been taught,

If your experience is that it's not safe to love,

Then that fear has to be faced as you step forward and bond to your heart or,

You know,

Decide to trust a teacher and let the teacher get close.

Right.

And,

You know,

When I look back,

You know,

All my teachers weren't necessarily sterling quality,

But they actually,

When I got burned by an insincere teacher or just an ignorant teacher,

It was because I was deluded.

You know,

It reflected my delusion,

So I,

Like,

Picked myself up and got more,

Like,

Sincere.

Yeah.

Anyway,

This is a question and answer day.

But,

You know,

Just remember that the universe is on your side.

And if you're sincerely wishing to move into truth,

The universe will just help you.

Amma will just make it possible.

You know,

Just do your best.

And be patient with yourselves,

You know.

How many lifetimes of alienation have you had,

You know?

5,

336,

000.

It can feel like that sometimes,

You know,

When it's up.

Anyway,

This morning,

You know,

When I woke up and it was as if today it was all about bonding and helping you bond to your true nature,

Bond to Mother Nature.

Bond to yourselves,

To your true nature.

Yeah.

Okay,

Ladies and gentlemen,

Who's got a question or comment,

You know?

Like,

Let it rip,

You know.

There's nobody judging you.

You cannot make a fool of yourself.

We're already bumbling idiots.

So,

Like,

Just come forward.

Okay,

Michael.

Yes.

Hi,

Prabhupada.

Hi,

Everybody.

I just have a comment.

It was interesting this week.

There was a few years I wasn't speaking to my sister.

And,

You know,

That sort of stopped a few years ago.

And in that intervening period,

A lot of the family pictures when I was growing up,

Or,

You know,

Around,

You know,

Three,

Four,

Five,

And six,

Sort of in the country,

In a barn,

And,

You know,

Sort of these really life pictures that you forget.

We were having a conversation the other day,

And she was,

You know,

Saying how she had these pictures,

And we were reminiscing a little bit.

And about this,

Well,

A relative that we used to visit in the country.

And it was,

It was really funny.

It occurred to me after,

In the town of Racine,

In Quebec.

And Racine is actually the French word for root.

So we were talking about,

You know,

Basically the roots of my childhood with these pictures in this town and some memories.

And I thought,

Well,

You know,

That sounds to me like a step in the right direction.

Well,

How did it feel?

Well,

Really good,

Because I haven't seen the pictures yet.

But I'm really looking forward to doing that,

Because I felt like I was really connecting.

And after we had our phone call this week,

When you said,

You know,

Just,

You know,

Pray and ask for what you need to surrender to,

I realized that I need to surrender.

And it's really an old wound.

You know,

I was teased,

Made fun a lot of,

Bullied when I was growing up.

And that was,

You know,

That was really hard and lasted actually many,

Many years.

And,

You know,

I,

That,

That,

You know,

That occurred to me.

And I,

You know,

I cried about it.

And I don't think it's finished.

But it just showed me that there was a bit of an opening.

Yeah.

It's one of the things as we heal,

We remember the good times more.

Yeah.

Now,

When you say that you cried about the bullying,

I'm getting a little bit of an alarm bell,

Because if you got bullying in this lifetime,

It's reflecting what you've done to your creator energy in other lifetimes,

Do you see?

It's not something that happened to you,

Like,

Was done to you,

It's reflecting what you've done to yourself.

Okay,

So there's a kind of crying,

That's kind of a self-pitting crying.

And there's a crying in the deep sorrow of being disconnected to our truth to having these lifetimes where we ran from ourselves.

They're two different cryings.

Yeah.

And I think this is part of where you've got lost is I think you pull to the self-pitting crying a little bit,

Rather than a direct experience of the sorrow of being disconnected to your truth,

Which would turn you into Hercules.

Do you remember I talked to you about this Hercules energy that was wanting to come through to you?

Yeah.

That's your soul energy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

Does what I'm saying make sense?

That sure does.

Right.

I want the penny to drop,

Michael,

About this,

About,

Like,

Moving out of the self-pity to more the sorrow of being disconnected from truth.

And you're doing it.

You're doing it.

But I just want to put a flag there.

You see,

Resentment and self-pity are our two traps.

They keep us in the ego.

Right.

I'm feeling how fully capable you are of following the direction that I'm pointing to,

Even though you're,

Like,

Would be classically,

You know,

An older male.

And it would be,

You know,

In the usual thing,

It's considered harder if you're an older male.

But,

Michael,

I feel that you're going to do this.

It's like a lot of the old rules are just being broken.

A lot of the old boxes are being broken.

And I feel like if you just keep this Hercules imagery in mind,

Yeah,

Because it's coming from your soul,

You connect up with your soul,

You will be given a higher strength and intelligence.

This is Premasutha's secret.

It's not a secret,

But it's how I navigate it.

So,

Are you feeling a little bit crumpled or pushed down?

No.

I feel the,

I feel that I have the energy to do it.

Yeah.

And then I feel like I'm sort of midway.

Yeah.

You know,

We've been sick.

I'm very tired.

I've been for a couple of weeks.

So,

Maybe that's good,

Michael.

No,

No,

No,

No.

That's good.

Yeah.

Because it's reducing your defenses.

So,

It's helping you get what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

But you're halfway there.

You are.

And this will happen.

It'll just happen for you.

Okay.

Just keep steering this way.

You don't have to do it.

It's steering this way.

I see you kind of just falling into this bigger love that I'm talking about.

So,

It's already a done deal.

If I can see this.

Do you see?

Yes.

I can sometimes feel that.

Right.

Right.

That's it.

It's just,

You know,

This trap you've been in of like kind of this self-pity,

Sorrow for what you went through.

That's not helpful.

It's much more a big,

Open-ended kind of self-compassion.

An understanding that's come from many lives.

Just,

I don't know.

It's a bigger feeling than what you're in.

And this,

I'm going on about this because everybody can relate to this.

This isn't just you at all.

And self-pity was my biggest vulnerability.

It was my favorite little igloo to hang out in.

So,

That's why I can smell it,

You know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Good work.

Good work.

Just keep going.

And great talking with your sis in the pictures.

And they'll remind you of the good times.

It's good.

Okay.

Great.

Okay.

Anybody else?

Bless your dear hearts,

You guys.

I love seeing your faces.

I just do.

I just do.

Yeah.

I do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Lathani,

I want to say something to you,

Sweet one.

You know,

After we spoke yesterday,

I realized that I interrupted you a lot.

Like,

I went,

Stop,

Stop,

Stop.

And,

You know,

Blessings,

Blessings.

I don't mean it in a rude way or anything.

But I want you to focus,

If it's your focus,

Like about going to the heart of things.

Just keep in mind that go to the heart.

Because lots of times,

We don't know how to go to the heart.

And we end up in confusion.

So,

Just keep that in mind.

And be very,

Very gentle with yourself.

Okay.

And,

Sweetie,

You know,

I love and honor you.

Because you keep coming.

And I even told you,

You couldn't talk for some weeks.

And you kept coming.

And it's like,

This is what works.

That kind of attitude,

You just get through all your resistance if you've got that kind of attitude.

So,

Just,

Just,

I see your heart.

Yeah.

So,

I'm kind of just nudging you more to your,

Yeah,

To your heart.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

This helps.

I can feel it.

This helps.

You have permission to come into your heart and to come from the heart.

And may Amma's grace,

Creator's grace,

The angelic grace to support you.

Okay.

And all of you take that message,

Please.

All of you.

Because this is what's facing us.

Okay.

Blessings.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Please,

All of you.

That's for all of you.

You know,

It's like the little child,

Sometimes,

And the Emperor's new clothes,

You know.

You know the story,

And the Emperor's been hoodwinked,

And he's been told that he's got these new clothes,

But he's walking along naked,

And everybody's clapping.

And this little child goes,

But he's not wearing any clothes.

And the more you love and accept yourself,

The more you can speak the truth and pop people's balloons in a way without them getting mad.

The key is to love and accept yourself.

Cheer up,

All of you.

Some of you are struggling to struggle.

You're loved.

It's all right.

Feel the sunshine.

It's just the head making a big labyrinth.

It's very simple.

It's love.

Yeah,

Please,

You guys,

Love yourselves.

Yeah.

You know,

If you ever feel that,

If you move into truth,

That you won't be accepted,

Or maybe,

You know,

There's difficulties with religious organizations and the individual.

But just remember that no matter what we do,

We get flack,

You know.

If you're,

You know,

If you're really like not being in truth and just trying to please everybody,

And follow the conventions and everything,

There'll still be people who criticize you.

You know,

It doesn't matter what you do,

You're going to get criticized,

So you might as well just be yourself,

You know.

And criticism never killed us.

Yeah,

Right.

It's just,

All it does is reflecting your own withholds about yourself,

You know.

And these people who cause us trouble,

They help us grow,

You know.

It's like,

My apartment manager,

You know,

Who's a big pal of mine now,

It's like,

That was a whole Leela.

You know,

It's how it works.

Yeah,

Little seeds struggle to put roots down,

You know,

To find the nutrients and water.

And we have to struggle to find the God in us,

To find our souls,

To find our inner ama,

The creator.

It's a struggle,

You guys.

But then you make the connection.

And,

You know,

Think of it,

It's easier now to make the connection than at most times in human history.

So,

Oh my goodness,

We should give great gratitude that we're in this era.

We're not in a normal era,

Because it's far harder when avatars like ama aren't here.

It makes it far easier.

And then when you know them directly,

That makes it even easier.

Because when they're here,

It's like the ama inside you is strengthened,

The creator,

The Jesus,

The Buddha inside you is strengthened,

While they're here on earth.

It's just like how I said to you that with every individual that gets self-realized,

Inside you,

Those aspects of you awaken.

So,

As I said,

If there were 4 billion self-realized people,

The whole human race would bump up dramatically.

Because everything is one.

So,

Ama is here on the earth.

So,

She's inside you.

She's inside you.

Okay,

This is good.

I'm feeling the penny drop.

She's inside you.

It's like,

Remember we talked about Gabriel when Archangel Gabriel and he said,

Tell them the answers are inside them.

He's inside you.

You are part of God.

Just as you are.

Yeah,

Just as you are.

Just as you are,

You guys.

And even from the perspective of,

You know,

The creator,

It's like very patient with our fears and everything.

It doesn't see that as so terrible,

Being caught in fear.

It's kind of like it's the Leela.

So,

The guy is just so strong to wish to reduce the pain.

And,

You know,

All a teacher can do is say,

Hey,

It's solvable.

And you're beautiful as you are.

That's what teachers do.

Yeah.

Right.

That's interesting.

Remember,

I was feeling the day was about bonding.

It's very interesting because your auras are getting,

I'm seeing this cleansing,

The cleansing occur,

Your auras.

It's such a part of the transmission that we talked about of satsangs or transmissions.

Remember these things come to the extent that we allow it and to the extent that we really want it.

Yeah.

You know,

When I'm saying I'm seeing the aura being cleansed,

I'm concerned.

I don't want you to think that Prama Sutta is doing this,

You know.

It's like you're doing it.

You're allowing it.

You're allowing it.

It's the level of your sincerity that's allowed it.

Please get that.

It's not Prama Sutta doing it to you.

Please.

It's coming as a result of,

You know,

Turning up and also just your devotion,

Your desire for this.

And everybody's getting it,

You know.

Okay,

I'm going to stop talking for a while because this is question and answer.

Just give me a chance and I start talking.

Hi.

Oh,

Good.

How are you,

Sweetie?

Okay.

You were talking about resentment earlier,

And that is most definitely something that I struggle with.

Would you like to address that a little more for me?

Yeah.

Okay,

So both resentment and self-pity come out of fear,

Okay?

That's the root.

And resentment is more focused outwards.

It's like,

You did that to me,

You,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

Self-pity is more like,

Oh,

Poor me.

The world's so hard on me,

Okay?

So,

Resentment is a little bit more overtly anger-based,

Anger towards others,

Okay?

So,

The most powerful thing you can do is when you're in that storyline,

Realize it rather than seeing it as truth,

Okay?

With all our eco-storylines,

We tend to see both our self-pity stories and our resentment stories as truth.

It's just fact.

And it isn't.

Yeah.

So,

You know,

If you can just recognize that it's a storyline of resentment,

Then you can go,

Oh,

This is the resentment that Premasiddhu was talking about.

This is just fear.

And you just give the whole story over to the creator,

Over to Amma,

Over to Jesus.

It is the act,

Okay,

You guys,

This is really important.

It is the act of noticing that is the powerful thing.

Noticing and then giving it over.

You know,

Even if you feel you can't give it over,

Even just saying,

Well,

I give it over,

Even if it sounds hollow that you know you're not giving it over at all,

But just steering that way.

Yeah.

To be able to draw back and notice the content of your thinking is a huge spiritual step,

A huge shift into more truth.

It's,

You know,

A medal of honor,

Really,

To be able to do it.

And the thing is,

The sort of the sad thing is,

Is that the more you're able to notice your thoughts,

The more you'll notice the amount of kind of sewagey thoughts.

And it'll be,

You'll think it's your fault or that you're being bad.

Do you see?

Whereas noticing this is the triumph.

Because Alma says,

You know,

We're full of sewage at this time.

Do you see?

And most people just don't notice.

They think it's real.

They think it's just the truth.

So,

If you can notice,

You know,

Negative thoughts,

The resentment stories,

The self-pity stories,

That's just a huge triumph,

You guys.

Yeah.

Really good question.

Thanks,

Shell.

So,

Is there more?

Do you have more that you want to say about this?

Or is this good enough?

That was excellent,

Primasutha.

And it's actually what this thing's called,

Isn't it?

Awareness.

Awareness is where the real healing is,

You know?

Yeah.

That's it,

You guys.

It's a lot easier to let go when you can see it,

To let go of it.

That's it.

Yeah.

That's it.

Awareness is the power.

Awareness is the God in you.

It is the God in you that sees,

Oh,

This storyline is full of resentment.

Yeah.

So,

There's a lot of squirming around.

People are moving.

Yeah,

I get it.

I get it.

But,

You know,

This is the heart.

If we brought this awareness in,

Things would change in the world so quickly if we lived this way,

Because we wouldn't be able to fool ourselves,

You know?

Yeah.

And you see,

Even countries will project this shadow side.

Like,

I remember,

I don't know,

A couple of decades ago,

There was a country saying,

You know,

Pointing a finger at other countries for weapons of mass destruction.

And actually,

It was the country that was pointing the finger that had the most weapons of mass destruction.

And this is what we're like.

If we're full of fear and anger and darkness,

We'll see it in the world outside.

Yeah.

And the clearer you become,

The more aware,

The brighter everything looks.

You see the God in things.

Yeah.

Right.

Good.

Good.

Right.

Okay.

So,

That's very strong in you to want to see the God in things.

And that's what you need to get there.

Just really wanting it.

Yeah.

And you're a real candidate.

That's it.

That's it.

Yeah.

That's it.

Yeah.

It's like the little kid who sits at the front of the class and really listens to the teacher,

You know?

They do the best.

The rowdies at the back of the class,

You know,

They don't… You know,

Our human experience is reflecting the Creator,

You know?

The Creator's love is like a mother's love times infinite.

But,

You know,

Alma talks about the mother's love because it gives us a reference point.

We can get it then.

It's sort of like,

Yeah.

And then just imagine it times infinite.

More love.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Okay.

You're getting this.

It's really good.

Yeah.

It's really good.

You guys should just love like that.

And,

You know,

When a child is a toddler,

I had a friend,

She had a toddler.

He was just,

Man,

He would just run off.

He'd run into the street.

And she was always like yelling,

Stop!

You know?

But she was doing it out of love.

She didn't want him to be run over.

This is what the universe does with us.

Our souls don't want us to make the same mistake again.

So,

They stop us.

Our souls are trying to help us get it.

And for our souls,

If our souls have like a body,

Like ours,

A body and a personality that is willing to listen,

They're just ecstatic.

They're just absolutely ecstatic.

And they're like so happy that we're willing to let the love come to us.

We're willing to receive their love.

They're so happy.

Yeah.

And how many lifetimes they wait for us to find a,

You know,

A lifetime where the body and the personality is willing to listen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

You're that.

So,

You're as perfect as a human being can be.

Yeah.

Because you're willing to listen and learn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I see a lot of gold energy coming to you guys.

You're really coming along with the energy of this and the words,

You know?

So,

This is gold coming to you all.

Okay.

So,

Premasid is going to stop talking and make room for you.

I just wanted to mention.

Yeah.

There is no direct translation,

Like one word into German for resentment.

The translation is the inability to forgive.

Ah,

Right.

That's a good one.

In the chat,

Somebody's written,

A-B-N-E-I-G-U-N-G.

Up,

Up,

Up,

Naigung.

Yeah.

You know,

I could see how,

My mom had a lot of resentment,

And I could see how stupid it was.

But,

You know,

I saw how stupid it was,

But I went into self-pity,

Which is equally as stupid,

You know?

So,

The whole thing's hilarious.

But I've told you this before.

She had a box of apples,

And what she did was she wanted to put a free sign on it.

And in the neighborhood we lived in,

People didn't do that.

And she spoke to my dad about what she should do with it,

And he said,

Take it to the Salvation Army.

And afterwards,

She complained to me that he told her to take it to the Salvation Army.

And she had this resentment to him,

And I'm like,

I'm like,

Just put it outside and put the free sign like you felt like doing.

But that wasn't acceptable,

So she was too scared to do it.

So,

She went into resentment to my dad,

Rather than taking her power.

That's the key,

You guys.

Self-pity and resentment will always be covering up an opportunity for you to take your own power.

Okay,

That's really good.

I'm able to spell this out.

This is great.

Thanks,

Mom.

Thanks,

Mom,

For the example.

What happens is,

You have to go deeper than resentment and self-pity.

You have to go deeper than the fear.

You have to clear some fear before you will see that you can take an action.

As long as we're in fear,

It blinds us to our freedom.

Yeah.

You might have to wait and deepen before you can see that you have a choice or that there's an action you can take.

Right.

This is really key for all of you guys.

Yeah,

There's always an action we could take,

Even if the action is just prayer.

But it's like my mom,

She could have just put the apples out.

You know,

Okay,

Now this is really important.

You know,

There's a point where you start taking responsibility for your own life,

And you realize that nobody else can solve things for you.

So,

When you're faced with a problem,

You might notice that you're going into resentment or self-pity,

But you know that that doesn't solve anything.

So,

You just wait and deepen.

And then a door will open and you'll see an action you can take.

Yeah.

But I could also share a story from this week.

Okay,

Good.

Last Saturday,

We talked and I told you that I was like trying to jump off the cliff with all emotions and everything.

So,

I got sick at the beginning of the week.

It was okay,

It wasn't bad,

But I used those days I got actually to go into those feelings I was afraid of.

Good.

And afterwards,

I knew what my soul wants to do about this financial topic I'm still struggling with.

So,

I kind of felt all those emotions from being not in my real power and being kind of pushed down and also manipulated and stuff.

And afterwards,

I got this feeling of,

Okay,

I know what my soul wants to do about this topic and wants to learn with it.

So,

I feel really relieved now.

Right.

You're feeling that?

Right.

I also,

Like you just shared,

When we go through these emotions,

I could feel so much more light.

Like in my,

I looked at my wall where I have a lot of pictures and stuff,

And I saw all this beauty now.

So,

It kind of shifted inside me and I feel more love and more beauty around me afterwards.

That's how it works.

Yeah.

Okay,

So I'm going to go back to a couple of days of your feeling the uncomfortable feelings.

I want you guys to understand that our soul energy gets caught in these emotions.

So,

When you feel these emotions,

These denser emotions,

And some of the other uncomfortable feelings,

And you embrace them,

You're just with them.

Maybe a journal,

But you're not,

You're just with them,

Even though it's not very pleasant.

You recover your soul energy.

It's like you're clearing the mud off it.

And then it clicks in,

Like you have access to that energy then,

And it will problem solve for you.

Now,

Franca,

There's a very human tendency to go,

Okay,

I've figured out the technique to do this,

And so this is my technique that I'm going to use.

Okay,

Just in case there's any of that,

It's,

That's a little bit,

That would be a withhold.

It's like you can't figure it out.

You just have to go forward,

Feel these things,

Have conversations with,

You know,

The person involved,

See how it goes,

Notice if things are better,

Use the data.

So,

You're right,

It is a technique in a way to,

It is how things get solved,

But even the thought of,

Oh,

This is how you do it,

Is an ego withhold.

Okay,

So it means like,

Say,

90% of use in this process,

But you need to get that extra 10%.

Yeah,

And just be like a child.

I'm here,

I'm feeling all this,

Maybe it will help,

Maybe it won't,

But I feel better because I'm seeing more light in the room.

That's fantastic.

That is the data.

You guys,

You have no idea of Premasuddha's bliss that this is being communicated to you guys,

That this is being communicated,

That people are interested.

It's like the grace,

I'm just,

It's the solution to my life.

Do you know what I mean?

It is the meaning of my life to be able to reassure you that you can go into this stuff and it won't kill you and you'll become more like Hercules or whatever female example there is,

You know,

That we actually just become more like Amma.

Yeah,

You're learning so quickly.

And you're so,

You're willing to embrace your humanity.

Yeah.

Right,

And that takes us to God.

Yeah,

I'm really,

Really moved,

Franka,

And all of you.

And,

You know,

With the work weeks,

You know,

There's this tension between four-day work weeks,

And then there's a whole other energy of saying,

Hey,

You got to work 80 hours.

And it's like one is more from the ego,

And the other is more coming from the soul of we need more time.

Four-day work weeks would be great.

We need time to feel and live and love each other.

You know,

Back in the days in my 30s,

Where I was really confused,

But I kept on having this kind of image of,

It was sort of a vague,

Lit image that would come above my head.

And it was the words that came,

Being the principal of a school of highly gifted children.

And I knew it wasn't to be a real teacher,

Like a school teacher.

That's what I feel like I'm doing with you guys,

Like school of highly gifted children who are learning how to evolve.

Yeah,

And it was so vague,

This dream,

You guys.

It was just a tiny thread.

I mean,

It just didn't seem to have any connection to what I was going through.

Yeah,

Just shows.

Just shows,

Keep steering towards the creator.

The more you get in the habit of steering to the creator,

The more your subconscious will steer you.

And the subconscious is a very,

Very powerful tool.

And it does a lot of the work for us,

Like,

The fairies,

And the elves,

And fairy tales,

Who do all the work for the heroine while she's sleeping.

Yeah.

And if you guys feel like,

Oh,

I'm not getting it as quickly as Premasutha's talking about,

Don't worry.

It's okay.

You have no idea how quickly things can change as you just open up and go,

Me too.

I want to encourage you guys to come forward.

You're very precious.

You know,

Anything you have to say is precious.

Jenna,

How are you doing?

Yeah,

How are you doing?

Yeah.

Hi,

Everybody.

I wanted to thank Michael for bringing up,

Just bringing himself and steering the topic of the self-pity and resentment piece of it.

I have been,

I'm aware of it.

And also,

I feel it in my body.

And I,

You've said before,

When Amma talks about,

You don't realize how dirty the floors are until you start to clean them.

You know,

So it comes up bigger.

And that's,

That's what I've been feeling is,

In this last week or two,

It feels like,

I just shared with you that book that I read,

The Benjamin Hoff book about the Tao of Poo.

And Eeyore talks,

Eeyore lives in a bog.

And I,

That image is in my mind.

I feel like I'm in a bog,

You know,

I'm very aware of the bog.

Yeah.

And I don't want to be in the bog,

But I am.

So here we are.

But the creator comes in through humor,

You know,

Like,

Being able,

Sweetie,

That's it,

Being able to laugh about it.

That,

That's your soul energy.

That's awesome.

You know,

I mean,

The reason Winnie the Pooh is so popular is so many of us know about being Eeyore,

Right?

Yeah.

In fact,

I remember asking my sons who their favorite character was,

And one of them said,

Eeyore.

And I went,

Oh,

My God.

Yeah,

I kind of,

I think you're,

You're trying too hard,

Sweet one,

A little bit,

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's why I've been standing back from you a little bit,

Is it's kind of,

I'm,

I'm waiting until you kind of come off this.

It's like,

Sweetie,

There's,

It's like,

You're in a box.

And you know that.

And you're scared to really come out of it.

But you're feeling the pain of being in it increasingly.

Yeah.

And for you,

Like,

It's,

You,

It's like,

You,

You really think your whole life will be jeopardized if you come out of the box.

And you,

You won't be.

It won't be.

You can keep your job,

You can,

You can just keep going.

The thing is,

Premasutra will be standing back from you as long as you don't want to come out of this box.

Because I've learned.

I've learned.

So we might as well.

How are you doing with Bear?

How are you feeling about that?

Well,

Self-pity.

Really.

I mean,

I think that's,

Yeah.

I want to believe.

I love the idea of oneness.

I love the idea of him being with me all the time.

You know,

I love the idea of all of us being with each other all the time.

But I don't feel it.

And,

Yeah.

So just for everybody,

Bear is,

You know,

Was Jenna's dog.

And I got,

Bear actually communicated with me.

And he told me that he really wanted to come back and be with Jenna again.

And this made total sense to me because it's sort of the thing that would actually prove to Jenna that God exists and these big quantum leaps are possible.

Right.

It's kind of like,

It's sort of like my son's healing from leukemia.

It's like,

I don't know that anything else could have got through to me.

It's like,

If you get another dog,

Or when you get another dog and you perceive it's Bear,

Which I feel Bear is coming back to you,

This will be OK.

This stuff is really true.

Yeah.

Because I think otherwise you're just kind of going to do somersaults in your head all the time.

You need kind of some big proof that you can go,

Well,

That happened.

Like I did with the leukemia.

It'd go like,

Well,

That happened.

It looks like God doesn't exist right now.

But that happened.

So I'll keep trusting.

No,

And I think that's,

I'm having difficulty with compassion for myself because I see,

I guess I'm asking,

How much proof does one need?

Because I do feel like I have,

I see it.

And I do feel like I've had proof.

And yet I really feel this bog in my body.

So I'm just trying to be with it because.

Yeah,

Because it's coming up to be cleared,

Sweetie.

You know that,

Right?

Yeah,

Yeah.

There's some kind of withhold,

I feel with you.

It's like,

It's as if,

It's like you really want to connect with your mom.

But it doesn't work.

You know?

Yeah,

Sweetie.

It's like,

Yeah,

I don't,

There's some kind of thing between us where on one level you want to be really,

Really close to me.

But there's a level that you want to do it on your terms.

And it's like,

It's very scary for part of you to really get what I'm saying in a way.

How do I put it?

It's sort of like,

It's sort of like that line between,

You know,

On one level,

We're not special.

None of us are special.

But all of us are precious,

Precious,

Precious.

And on another level,

We are special,

But not in the,

I'm special.

It's a much deeper understanding of your intrinsic value,

Your intrinsic preciousness.

I feel like it's like you,

I feel there's part of you,

And it will be very subconscious,

Jenna.

It's not anything,

It's no criticism or anything.

I'm just shining a light.

There is a very,

There's an unconscious part of you that in your dealings with me,

You really want me to walk the path that you have set out for me,

Rather than for me to be authentically premisuda.

Okay.

And it's because I've stopped walking this path that we have a problem now,

Because I went along with it.

I went along with it for several reasons.

One is to help the trust.

But there's a level you have to see that you cannot control a teacher at all.

Right.

And also at the same time,

All they want is the best for you.

Like there's nothing to defend oneself about.

It's like it's the opposite.

Right.

How do you feel right now?

I feel something lifting.

I feel an openness in my chest.

I feel something lifting.

Right.

On a level on your face,

You look a bit stricken.

But it's like something.

Yes.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

It's okay.

There's no rush.

You don't have to.

It's like the work just gets done.

It's not like you even have to have this opening or go through this opening or anything.

Just being here,

Listening.

Everybody's benefiting.

It's helping everybody,

Because everybody has withholds to a teacher until you self-realize.

You all have withholds.

It's okay.

I know the whole thing's just a comedy,

You know.

Yeah.

And the only reason premisuda can see all this stuff is this is stuff that she felt in herself along the way.

Right.

Right.

It's part of you where you're holding on to a linear reality on a really deep level.

And it's good to be able to function in the regular world,

But this way that you're walking is way too limiting for your soul energy.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

There's a fuss there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You could feel the fuss.

Yeah.

Yes.

Right.

Right.

So,

Sweetie,

Like,

You know,

Just let it take all the time it needs.

I mean,

There's no rush,

But you're more open.

I feel Bear's happy.

I'm getting that he's happy.

And you're more open than you've been.

This is good.

And just be with everything.

And I'm your friend.

I want the best for you.

Yeah.

I've just worked with so many people now,

Like,

I'm getting,

Like,

You know,

When I'm getting,

Like,

I just couldn't tell about the ego really quickly now.

I think it goes trying to,

Like,

Grab control.

It's like I've learned.

Right.

Right.

That's it.

That's it.

That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

There's a surrender there,

Very deep surrender.

That's it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And,

You know,

I'm sure everybody will,

Like,

It can't help but happen that everybody benefits from hearing this level that you're presenting at.

It's a very deep level that you're allowing the healing to take place.

And may it just occur at the highest good pace.

Yeah.

If you're feeling blue or critical,

Cheer up.

You're very precious.

Some of you,

Your faces are very,

Like,

Sober.

It's like you're adorable.

It's just adorable.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have a quick comment for Jenna,

Because I think about you,

Because Prema Sudha talks about you being a wild Celtic woman,

And the Celts were here,

The region where the German Ashram is.

There's sites with stones and there's even one that's called Wilde Weibsche.

And so it's like,

Like a wild woman,

But it's not even the modern word for a woman.

It's like the middle age word and like the witch word.

And so I think of you because you're here.

There you go.

There you go.

Yeah.

That's beautiful.

Thank you,

Bhavani.

Dankeschön.

Yeah.

Okay.

This is,

You know,

Part of being a Celt too,

You guys.

There's a level of defensiveness that I felt in the cells of the Celtic bodies.

So just be very patient.

Yeah.

With any defensiveness.

Yeah.

I feel like the love power of these satsangs is increasing.

That's good.

You guys are becoming stronger vessels for it.

This is something I wanted to mention about becoming a good container.

This is the importance of spiritual practices,

You know,

Prama says.

They,

She says that they help us,

The habit of them help us during difficulties.

It's really true.

And just meditating,

Even when you don't feel like it,

Every time you do that,

When you don't feel like it,

You're actually making your ego smaller because your ego's the one not wanting you to meditate.

So if you just sit down anyway,

You're starving your ego.

Yeah.

And knowing that might make it easier to stay true to kind of a routine.

And then notice if you really don't want to and just go like,

Okay,

You go like,

Blessings to you.

But I'm going to just sit because you guys,

There's a,

As the,

To be able to hold the energies as they come in,

You have to be a strong enough container to be able to embody your true nature.

Yeah.

And the spiritual practices really help you do that.

And the discipline of them.

And,

You know,

Do your best with it.

Do your best.

Do your best.

You know,

I feel a little bit like,

You know,

Premasuddha's way was so like wild,

Just this serving love that what would happen for me is I would get tired.

I would feel a sudden fatigue.

I would lie down and meditate,

Get the insight and get up again.

Yeah.

But I also,

When I look back,

I had a lot of trauma.

I learned through trauma a lot.

And that is a very hard way.

It is much,

Much easier to develop the habit of meditation and just do your best with it.

Okay.

Just do your best.

Even,

You know,

Bruno Gröning says sitting for 20 minutes two times a day is kind of emptying your mind,

Just turning to the divine.

Premasuddha would do walking meditations.

Any time that you remind yourself to focus on the creator is meditation in a way.

It is how many times you remember during a day about the creator and about the silence within,

Which is the creator.

Yeah,

Just do your best and please be very gentle.

And if you see progress,

Validate it.

Every little tiny bit of progress,

Give yourself a pat on the back.

Please do that.

Today has been an enormous blessing for Premasuddha.

Yes.

I am totally graced by your presence and your willingness.

Yeah.

And I feel if you knew how dear you are to Premasuddha,

You wouldn't worry about our relationship.

And remember,

If Premasuddha loves you like this,

Amma loves you like a million.

So,

Yeah,

Please receive it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Bye.