Hey Difference Maker,
If you are new to the Enneagram or are on the journey of understanding yourself using the Enneagram,
This episode will help give you some details about the bigger picture.
Now that sort of sounds like an oxymoron,
But if I've ever learned anything,
I've learned that life is one paradox after another.
Today I'm going to be reading an excerpt from my book,
The Secret to Being You Using Brain Science and the Nine Acknowledgement Languages to Unbox Your Enneagram.
I wrote this book to help Enneagram fans to understand first that the Enneagram isn't just a personality tool to understand yourself better,
But a personal development tool to help you get out of the box that personality tools can often trap us in or give us permission to stay in unhealthy patterns.
And second,
To understand the differences between the nature and the nurture of your personality.
That is a very important distinction that will help you discern the difference between what you need to change about your personality and what you shouldn't.
The more you know,
The more you can work with your personality instead of against it.
And third,
To understand that the ultimate purpose of the Enneagram is community.
How do you get along with other personality types,
Especially the ones that seem the complete opposite of yours?
The answer is by communicating with empathy and compassion.
So I'll be reading from chapter 5 called What You Need to Know About Mistyping Yourself.
From this excerpt,
You'll get a glimpse of each type.
Then I'll follow up with some tips on the best way to use the Enneagram to get the three points I just mentioned.
Getting unstuck,
Working with your personality,
Not against it,
And communicating with empathy and compassion.
Let's go ahead and get started.
Motivations,
Strengths,
And Mindsets of the Nine Enneagram Stereotypes.
This is a scandalously brief introduction to the nine stereotypes of the Enneagram.
It might feel like an exceptionally formulaic system to squeeze the infinite number of personalities of the personality spectrum into a list of just nine profiles.
And it is!
That's why viewing your personality only at this level is not or ever an accurate way to type yourself.
I am only highlighting each type's core motivations and average stereotypical behaviors in the spirit of not over complicating things.
I also include a core strength and mindset for each type.
In part 3 of this book,
We'll explore the types deeper at the unconscious nature perspective when you learn about the Nine Acknowledgement Languages.
Type 8s want to be strong so they are aggressive and strong-willed,
But fear being controlled.
They have a natural strength of willpower and they have a mindset to overpower.
Type 9s want to be at ease so they are chill and self-effacing,
But fear being disconnected.
They have a natural ability to bring harmony or togetherness and they have a mindset of inertia.
Type 1s want to be proper so they are principled and idealistic,
But fear being corrupted.
They have a natural strength of integrity and they have a mindset of restraint.
Type 2s want to be appreciated so they are generous and seductive,
But fear being seen as needy.
They have a natural ability to nurture and they have a mindset of flattery.
Type 3s want to be admired so they are ambitious and status conscious,
But fear being seen as an imposter.
They have a natural strength for self-assurance and they have a mindset to compete.
Type 4s want to be different so they are mysterious and emotionally authentic,
But fear not being seen as original.
They have a natural ability to endure and they have a mindset of melancholy.
Type 5s want to be factual so they observe and collect data,
But fear being depleted.
They have the natural strength of honesty and they have a mindset to detach.
Type 6s want to be supported so they advocate and make systems,
But fear being unprepared.
They have a natural strength of dependability and they have a mindset of doubt.
Type 7s want to be content so they are indulgent and optimistic,
But fear being deprived.
They have a natural ability for immersion and they have a mindset to explore.
Again,
This list is not sufficient descriptions to use for typing yourself and especially not others.
You probably see yourself in more than one description and that's normal because as part of the human species you have the capacity to want,
Fear,
Do,
And think all nine of them.
And the more self-aware you become,
You'll be able to access these different parts of yourself more easily so you can better connect with people of other Enneagram types.
The description representing the nature of your personality will be your core Enneagram type.
The one you were born with and still have regardless of how much you have matured or adapted your behaviors to your environment.
I'll stop there.
And yes,
The list does start with type 8 instead of type 1 and the reason behind that becomes clearer later in the book as you read about the nine acknowledgement languages which is a method that I developed that's kind of like the love languages of the Enneagram.
This is how we learn to communicate with empathy and compassion.
But let's back up a little bit to my first point about getting stuck in unhealthy patterns.
As I read the list of traits,
You'll notice that the motivations and mindsets are pretty neutral.
But under stress,
Each Enneagram type has a knee-jerk pattern of coping strategies.
Of course,
There is the fight-or-flight response.
But as you study your type more,
You'll discover type-specific stress patterns.
And the more you become aware of those patterns,
The easier it will become to preempt them or adjust to them so that you don't have to stay stuck.
And that was my point number one.
So let's go on to point number two,
Which was working with your personality,
Not against it.
Now,
Sometimes stress is part of a very important lesson that you need to learn.
And sometimes stress is an unnecessary waste of time and energy.
And this varies from type to type.
This is why it is so important to stay on your own individual path and not get caught up in comparing your journey to other people's journeys.
And the Enneagram does a really great job of showing you when your stress pattern is unhealthy and when it is actually growing you.
And now let's go back to the third point,
Communicating with empathy and compassion.
Now,
Once you recognize we all fall into stress patterns,
You'll become less reactive to the fact that someone else's stress pattern looks different than yours.
It's kind of like if you know that someone is afraid of dogs,
You're not going to encourage them to go work at a dog shelter.
It just doesn't make sense for them.
Now,
Dogs may not cause you stress,
But you can respect the fact that it does cause stress to this other person.
Now,
If that person is put in a position that they need to overcome the stress over dogs,
Maybe they're moving in with a partner who owns a dog,
Then I would offer my services of EFT,
TFT,
And Enneagram NLP to help them reprogram or rewire their nerves to be neutral around dogs.
And as a holistic empowerment coach,
I offer those same for my clients who are mostly women so entrepreneurs,
Getting them aligned with their personality so that they can take action that best represents their highest calling,
Their healthiest design,
Bring that into their business,
And feel completely aligned and in tune with how they're serving other people.
I hope this episode was informative and created a nice foundation for you as you carry on your self-discovery journey and learning more about the Enneagram.
Just remember not to get stuck in a box that can be very,
Very tempting once we figure out what our Enneagram type is,
But continue to unbox yourself.
And as you do that,
You will notice that you are unleashing your power.
