Freedom In The Face Of Difficult Emotions - Finding Your Core Fear

An explorative practice to guide you in finding the emotional forces behind your fears, worries and behaviors. What are the emotional currents coloring your life and why are they there? It is only by finding and facing your core fear that you can be free to focus your energy and awareness on what you want in life.

Transcript

Begin by finding a comfortable position,

Either seated or lying down.

Gently close your eyes and let your whole body soften and relax.

Sink into the surface on which you are resting.

Notice that the surface is carrying your body and that you can relax completely and trust that no effort is needed.

Let yourself rest heavily.

Take a few deep breaths and explore your bodily sensations while I give a short introduction to today's meditation.

Explore the stronger sensations as well as exploring if there is a subtle sensation from silent areas.

In this meditation,

We will use this safe place to explore negative emotions by triggering them.

There is nothing that can arise in your awareness during this meditation that can harm your awareness or your body.

However,

If you have severe childhood trauma,

You might want personal guidance from a professional.

This,

Because releasing ways of fighting that you had all your life usually makes a lot of emotions and images start to move,

Which can be frightening but is also key to processing.

In this meditation,

We will try to explore what is at the core behind your need to struggle with,

Avoid or feel trapped by what shows up inside you.

So if some memory,

Sensation or feeling shows up inside you,

Try to curiously explore if there is more to it.

In your mind,

Imagine taking a step back and imagine looking at yourself sitting or lying down.

Look at yourself,

Your clothes and the room around you.

I want you to keep that perspective and explore what kind of feelings and situations that cause trouble or limit you in your life.

What feelings color your life?

If you have found something,

Try to explore that situation or feeling.

Give some focus to what bodily sensations that are accompanied with that situation or feeling.

If nothing shows up,

Then it's fine and just follow along and maybe something will show up or you will notice something in your life in a couple of days.

For some it might be worry about the future,

For others attention in social situations,

Ruminating on the past,

Feeling trapped or not daring to follow your genes.

No matter what you have found,

The tension,

Worry,

Rumination or fear is almost always trying to protect you from some inner experience that feels dangerous.

Now spend some time thinking about what disaster your brain imagines as a consequence if you would not give your energy to this feeling.

Try to investigate what that disaster would mean to your self-image.

Is there a negative way of describing you that comes up regarding this?

Is your way of thinking about yourself different than it would be if it was another person that this happened to?

The body and brain only have strong feelings and responses when it thinks it needs to keep you safe.

If we can remain in contact with our emotions,

Sensations and imaginations when they are the most uncomfortable and not try to change them,

We will move towards being more and more free to choose what to give our energy to and what direction to have in our lives without having to be limited by our inner experiences.

If you are feeling things now,

Continue to observe them moving,

Evolving or disappearing as they please while you listen to me.

If you're not feeling anything,

Just continue to observe if anything comes up and explore this practice so that you can use it when things arise outside of this meditation.

Relax and rest heavily on the surface that carries your body.

Sometimes in your life,

Your inner world and maybe your body might tremble,

But that is only content in your awareness.

Your ability to experience the world will not be affected.

The stronger the reaction you get by releasing your experiences,

The more tension and effort have been used to keep this in place.

If there is a knot in your stomach,

For example,

Try to notice what that feeling tries to protect you from.

Is it feeling like a failure or a bad person,

Being ashamed or something completely different?

Direct your attention to that emotion and allow it to blossom or fade as it pleases.

Explore the emotions and bodily sensations to see what sensation your body is truly running from.

This is a practice that I encourage you to take into your daily life when strong emotions show up.

Notice if you experienced anything new about what is the cause of your worries,

Stress or tension.

Often you may think it's your work,

Family or other things that cause you to worry.

But is that really why your brain wants you to work with that now?

Or is it really an inner experience in your awareness that scares you and makes you choose to spend time and energy on worrying?

We all have an amazing cinema in our heads that can show movies of the future accompanied by feelings.

Most people spend a lot of energy in trying to control what movie is showing rather than giving their energy to what they want in this world.

For example if you're a student you may fear feeling like a failure.

Because of that movie,

It starts in your brain when you approach your study material,

You might avoid them.

Or for someone else,

They might focus all their effort on studying and let this fear control their life.

This makes a less scary movie right now but does not necessarily move you in the direction you want in your life.

Another common movie is to avoid is one where you are a bad person and thus you try to find external causes for any mistake or event that did not go as planned or try to avoid uncertainty altogether.

Forces like this influence everything from worry to everyday conversations.

And these forces can be subtle or very obvious but are generally present in everything we do.

Sometimes they are in line with how we want to live and sometimes not.

It is quite common that they in the long run lead in the opposite direction to what you want.

Even a too strong attachment to being happy can lead to fear and worry about not living in the perfect way.

Again,

Take a step back and observe yourself doing the meditation.

And with this outside perspective,

Explore if you can find any such movies of your own that affect you.

When you feel tension and stress,

What image of the future is there?

If you wish,

You can observe situations you think of as if you were a fly on the wall looking at yourself in that situation.

If anything has come to you during this meditation so far,

Take a deep breath and relax.

Then try to explore if that emotion or fear has something behind it that is broader.

We want to look for and release the core fear at the center.

Be curious and notice its nuances.

See if any memory,

Feeling or bodily sensation shows up.

A core fear is often present in many areas in life.

And if you release the core,

The effect spreads outward.

That means facing the core of your fear and releasing it.

From an outside perspective,

Explore why the person meditating or having these fears or issues just gently explore if it is that the person is actually in a dangerous situation in the moment where these things show up or if there is something in that person's history that makes these reactions more likely.

Why do you have these fears and not others?

If any feelings or sensations arise,

Just observe and let them come and go as they please.

Look at yourself again and ask how these emotions are affecting your life and if fighting with or avoiding them has had any effect on your feeling of freedom.

Many people spend a lot of time in repetitive negative thinking or worry.

You can take this perspective with you and more deliberately choose your actions when you are invited by your mind to worry.

Instead of fighting to avoid uncomfortable feelings and images of the future or the past,

Choose to stop worrying and spend your energy and attention to what you want in that situation.

Maybe your children,

Your partner,

The clouds outside,

Your work,

Your creative project,

Crying or just relaxing.

While choosing what to focus on,

Release your experience.

You do not have to feel happy,

Relaxed or even as a good person.

Just choose what to give your energy to,

Acknowledging the situation as it is.

Your mind will most likely try to invite you more than once to spend your energy on worry because you have sent signals to your body that feelings and images of the future are dangerous.

What kind of friend would your brain be if it only warned you once that you were approaching this imagined future cliff?

You can choose freedom,

But you cannot choose what arises within you right now.

If you think you will reach and feel freedom when the negative thoughts and emotions are gone,

You will be waiting and fighting a lot in your life.

If you realize your brain and body can handle the emotions that drive your worry,

You are free no matter what happens.

And you will notice that it is inner experience rather than future events that drive this behavior.

And if you use this freedom to change old patterns of avoidance and worry,

That is what really can change your life and direction.

Now take a moment to explore and get a taste for what you have touched on in this meditation.

See what resonates with you.

If you want,

You can stay in this meditation and continue exploring.

When you feel ready,

Take your time to return to your body and slowly start moving.

Take a minute or two after you open your eyes and notice what you want to bring with you to your life outside this meditation and what you want to use your freedom for.

Now take a moment to explore and get a taste for what you have touched on in this meditation.

If you feel ready,

Take a moment to explore and get a taste of what you want to bring with you to your life outside this meditation.

Now take a moment to explore and get a taste of what you want to bring with you to your life outside this meditation.