Forgiveness

This practice includes a short expanation of forgiveness followed by meditation.

Transcript

I want to consider the nature of forgiveness,

What it really means,

And offer an exercise in allowing forgiveness to happen.

Now forgiveness doesn't always seem easy.

If we feel attacked or hurt,

We may feel the only way to relieve our pain is to attack back in some way.

It's like we want the others to know how much we're hurting,

And at such times forgiveness may seem far from our minds.

To forgive someone may feel like we are backing down or letting them off,

Saying,

I know you did wrong but I'm not going to punish you this time.

But true spiritual forgiveness is far from just saying,

I'm letting you off.

It's actually a profound healing process for both parties.

In the Bible,

The Greek word that's translated as forgive is aphesis,

And its literal meaning is to let go,

To physically let go of something as when we let go of a rope or a stick or something else we're holding onto.

We're releasing our grip on something.

With forgiveness,

The letting go is not so much a physical letting go,

But it's a mental and emotional letting go.

We're releasing the grip that our mind has on some past event or occurrence.

In fact,

We're letting go of the judgments and grievances we're holding.

We're letting go of our beliefs about how others should have behaved or how they've done wrong.

And when someone doesn't behave as we have expected or as we would like them to have behaved,

Then we tend to feel angry.

And when we do,

It's easy to think that the other person has made us angry.

They're responsible for our feelings of anger.

When we look more closely,

We often find that our upset is actually coming from how we've interpreted their behavior.

In fact,

We are the ones who are making ourselves angry.

We are making ourselves angry over our interpretation of how they behaved,

The story we are telling ourselves about what they've done and how bad they are and how they could have been.

So it's our judgments that we're holding against them that are actually creating the feelings of anger.

And when we're holding a judgment,

The person we're actually hurting the most is ourself,

Which is rather ironical because we think when we're judging someone,

We're making them bad,

But actually we're making ourselves feel bad.

We are creating additional suffering for ourselves.

So true forgiveness comes from letting go of the judgments we're holding,

Releasing the grip they have on our mind.

And one thing that can really help this is to put ourselves in the other person's position.

You see,

If we could truly understand their own motives,

Why they did what they did,

What they were thinking and feeling,

Their fears and pains,

The judgments they might have been holding,

Their own background,

The conditioning,

All the influences in their life that have led them to this point in time,

Then we might begin to understand why they did what they did.

We can begin to recognize that although they may not have behaved as we think they should have done,

They were in a sense behaving exactly as they should have done,

Exactly as they should have done given all the influences that led up to this.

We could say it is their own confused state of mind that actually led them to behave this way.

If they were seeing things differently,

They might not have behaved that way.

The Dalai Lama once said,

In the final analysis,

The goal of every person is simply peace of mind.

And forgiveness begins when we recognize that the person who has hurt us was actually wanting exactly what we want.

In their own way they were seeking to be more at peace,

To ease their own suffering.

But because of their own inner confusion,

They set about doing this in ways that interfered with their own attempts to find peace of mind,

And so they caused us to actually be suffering more.

So putting ourselves in the other person's shoes develops understanding,

Which leads to empathy and compassion.

So in this exercise I'd like to offer a simple prayer for forgiveness that stems from the Buddhist tradition.

Just let yourself relax.

Just notice how you're feeling.

Notice the sensations in your body.

If you notice any tension,

Just becoming aware of it,

It will often begin to just soften and dissolve.

And as your body begins to relax,

So also your mind begins to relax with it.

And as your mind begins to settle down,

Just listen to these phrases.

Just meditate upon them.

And just let them sink deep into the core of your being.

Just let them sink into your heart.

First let us forgive others for ways they may have harmed us.

If anyone,

Through their confusion,

Has harmed me in any way,

Either knowingly or unknowingly,

I forgive them.

If anyone,

Through their confusion,

Has harmed me in any way,

Either knowingly or unknowingly,

I forgive them.

If anyone,

Through their confusion,

Has harmed me in any way,

Either knowingly or unknowingly,

I forgive them.

I and now let us ask for forgiveness for ways in which we may have harmed others.

If through my own confusion I have harmed anyone in any way,

Either knowingly or unknowingly,

I ask for forgiveness.

If through my own confusion I have harmed anyone in any way,

Either knowingly or unknowingly,

I ask for forgiveness.

If through my own confusion I have harmed anyone in any way,

Either knowingly or unknowingly,

I ask for forgiveness.

If through my own confusion I have harmed anyone in any way,

Either knowingly or unknowingly,

And now let us offer forgiveness to ourselves.

For all the ways that my own confusion has led me to harm myself or be unkind to myself,

I forgive myself.

For all the ways that my own confusion has led me to harm myself or be unkind to myself,

I forgive myself.

For all the ways that my own confusion has led me to harm myself or be unkind to myself,

I forgive myself.

For all the ways that my own confusion has led me to harm myself or be unkind to myself,

I forgive myself.

And finally,

If there is someone,

Including myself,

Who I am not yet ready to forgive,

I forgive myself for that.

If there is someone I am not yet ready to forgive,

I forgive myself for that.

If there is someone I am not yet ready to forgive,

I forgive myself for that.

If there is someone I am not yet ready to forgive,

I forgive myself for that.

I forgive myself for that.

I will now close with a very simple prayer.

May I be at peace.

May those I love and cherish be at peace.

May those whom I have judged be at peace.

May all people be at peace.

Aum.

Reviews

This really helped me to start forgiving thank you 🙏🏻

Perfect!...Really touched me and needed at this time. Thankyou.🙏

Beautiful 🙇‍♂️ right when you need it. Blessed to receive 🫰

Really lovely meditation to soften anger and gain some compassion for the other person. Helping you find forgiveness so that your own life is lighter ❤️

Wow! thank you for this beautiful meditation. It is exactly what my heart needed in so many ways. Thank you for the grace. Sending love.❤️

Wowza, what an amazing feeling of release I have after listening to this.

Beautiful! That hit the spot, if you will. Thank you, Peter. There's no "magic wand" but that helped.

Thank you so much for your true and beautifully phrased words of wisdom. Very valuable and a beautiful meditation. 🙏💚

Oh Peter, I truly feel so much lighter and healthier.. Big thanx!

Thank you for these steps of forgiveness. Exactly what I’ve been wanting, but not sure of how to go about it! Tears of JOY….. thank you!! Namasta!

Useful practice for a difficult time. Thank you. 🙏🏻💞

This healed my soul and I want to listen again. Thank you, beautifully delivered!

A really helpful meditation filled with wisdom and gentle compassion

The BEST meditation on forgiveness that I have ever heard. Thank you, Peter Russell for this gift.

Such wise words! Thank you Peter. I will try to remember this, use it in my day to day life and keep it in my heart.

Very helpful and calming.

This is an amazing prayer for forgiveness. Highly recommended ❤️

Deep inquiry went into this an d I so appreciate the gentle, patient way it softened my heart. The bell at end was a lovely touch.
One of the more inspiring and powerful guided practices I’ve done on Insight Timer.
Many thanks 🙏

Thank you 🙏🏻 for your insights. I’m committed to listening every day for eight weeks. These words are helping me and I know will change my life. I can feel it already. 💙

Profound. Very helpful 🙏