Hello,
My name is Kimiko Bokura and this is a practice on responding to challenge.
In this practice,
Some people find it helpful to journal or write things down with emotional content.
If you'd like,
Have a pen and paper available and pause the meditation when you wish to journal or write.
Let's start by finding a posture where there is more comfort.
If you're already sitting or lying down,
Move a little bit to find more ease.
I invite you to take a deep breath in and out as you settle into your posture.
As we begin,
Allow the eyes to look down about 45 degrees with a soft focus or fully closed if you wish.
In this practice,
The invitation is to explore your response to a challenging emotion through three steps.
Pause,
Reflect and respond.
Now see if you could bring to mind a situation where you recently experienced an emotion that had some charge or was a challenge.
Choose a situation where there was a medium level of charge,
Maybe on a scale of 1 to 10,
Where 10 is most challenging.
Choose a 4 or 5.
Initially as you explore,
It is helpful not to be overwhelmed by the challenge.
It could be at work,
It could be at home,
Or it could be with one of your friends.
What is the situation that you want to use to try out these steps?
Where did this situation happen?
Were other people involved?
Picture it in your mind.
How did you know that you were starting to get activated?
Do you notice anything in your body?
There may be a tightness in the shoulders or some heat.
What is your experience of starting to get emotionally activated?
Being able to recognize when you are starting to get activated is one of the key parts of this practice.
If you are journaling,
You may want to pause the meditation here to write your response.
Now that you are aware that you are getting emotionally activated,
Let's apply the tools of pause,
Reflect,
And respond.
The first step is to pause.
Right in the middle of that situation,
Imagine yourself pausing and see what it is like to take a deep breath.
Imagine yourself writing your situation.
How would it be to pause right there?
And notice how your body feels.
If breath helps to calm the system,
Continue to focus on the breath.
Just taking five deep breaths can help you down regulate.
Let's see if it happens for you.
Again,
If you are journaling,
You may want to pause the meditation here to write your response.
The next step is to reflect.
How are you feeling in this situation?
What emotions are present?
Is there frustration or anger?
Grief or humiliation?
And if you are not noticing any emotions as you think of this challenge,
What are you aware of?
Another aspect of reflection is to notice the stories you have about the situation and maybe also the people involved.
What it's like to look again?
What other conclusions could you draw about what happened?
If someone else was involved in the situation,
It can be useful to imagine yourself in their shoes.
What might the other person's intention have been?
How does that impact you to see the situation from their perspective?
And again,
Pause the meditation here if you are journaling.
And the last step is to respond.
Often,
Emotional charge results in a reaction.
In your situation,
How could you respond,
Taking in the whole situation?
Bring to mind two possible responses.
And for one of them,
What would the kindest response look like,
Both for you and the other person?
Imagining yourself responding in one of those ways.
How does it feel?
What do you notice?
And again,
Pause into journal if you'd like.
Now letting go of the images of that situation.
Taking a deep breath in.
And on the out-breath,
Letting go of that situation.
Taking in and letting it go on the out-breath.
Noticing the contact with the ground,
The contact with the chair.
If your eyes are closed,
Allowing them to slowly open and take in the place that you are in.
And if it is possible,
Take a moment to reflect before moving on.
Throughout your day,
Notice when you are starting to get activated and apply these three steps.
Thank you for joining me in this practice of responding to challenge.
