Kumari Davey here.
Today I want to talk to you about the fear of being open and vulnerable.
We hear it all the time.
It doesn't matter what other people think or say or do.
But beyond our outer awareness we are basically afraid to expose our unique selves to others.
This started as children with a pattern I call doing something wrong pattern.
Let me explain.
Most children are shocked when they get punished.
Recently while walking through a parking lot a mother and her two children were in front of me.
The young boy who was about four or five years old was being his authentic self and having fun.
The mother turned around and smacked him across the face.
The young boy was stunned.
He was shocked and so was I.
I wanted to reach out and give him a big hug.
But all the mother did was continue to yell at him in public.
This is the beginning of the pattern doing something wrong.
The first time or a second or third time you were scolded and never told what you did.
To get punished creates a foundational pattern called doing something wrong.
If your parents were more conscious and sat you down and explained why you were getting a timeout or punished this pattern won't be as strong.
Let's skip forward as adults.
This major pattern is now buried under many layers of life experiences.
And you're in a relationship say and now afraid to be vulnerable to open up and be fun and playful.
Deep down you're afraid of doing something wrong and being punished for showing up as you.
This is how childhood patterning affects us today.
Remember boys who are now men are taught differently than girls who are now women are.
For men this pattern is present but might be overridden by an inner voice that says get over it.
But unless the pattern is addressed consciously it can't change.
In other words it doesn't disappear on itself.
The pattern only gets buried further.
The subconscious mind is layered by experiences so it's not one pattern of doing something wrong.
It's many patterns.
Next time you want to open and be yourself but feel held back think of this pattern.
Is it the doing something wrong pattern?
To resolve it become consciously aware of it and resolve the feelings in yourself.
You'll need to find the emotional memory.
This is when the pattern first began and talk it out.
Ask yourself how did it make me feel?
It's not necessary to talk it out with a parent but you'll need to be honest with yourself and not stuff any more feelings.
Thank you and Namaste.
