Hello friends,
Pesha Lindy here.
How are you?
Today I'll be speaking to the theme of caring for ourselves.
Self-care is absolutely vital to our survival and thriving and it's the essence of self-compassion and resilience.
Resilient people know how to give themselves a break and nourish when it's needed.
And life is tough.
Often we're so caught up in taking care of business,
Taking care of everyone else,
That we end up exhausted with no energy left for ourselves.
Now to give away our time and care generously is wonderfully good-hearted.
But if our own cup is always empty,
We have nothing left.
Nothing left for ourselves,
Let alone anybody else.
And if we continually do that,
We can find ourselves becoming bitter,
Even resenting the people that we're trying to help.
Now if this is your habit,
To give and give and give,
You know,
There's no shame in that,
You're not alone.
It's my habit too.
Actually research suggests for most of us,
It's easier to be kind to others than to ourselves.
And it may be that from an early age we experienced something that made us feel undeserving or that there was something wrong with us.
Maybe there was a time we didn't fit in or we failed to meet the expectations of our caregivers.
It's hard to be kind to ourselves if we don't feel self-loving.
And while showing kindness to others can be beneficial,
It can also become a bit of a trap,
You know,
People pleasing just to gain approval so we stay safe.
Striving hard is something I know very well.
And yes,
Actually I realised at a young age that I was gay at a time when this wasn't really approved of openly in society.
So I definitely internalised some messages from my background that I wasn't good enough.
And so in my early 30s,
I came quite close to burning out.
You know,
I loved my job,
But I overworked.
And perpetually doing 60 hour weeks was not good for my health.
But I managed to notice this before it became serious and I looked for a solution.
And here came meditation and yoga into my life and both helped me get a better balance.
I started practising yoga just a couple of times a week and mindfulness about 15 minutes a day,
Five in the morning to help me gather my thoughts before my commute,
Five in bed before sleeping to help me let go of my busy thoughts.
And I'd always take a five or a 10 minute walk in the park at lunchtime,
Connecting with the trees,
Which became like a miniature holiday for me where I could let go of any emotional hangover from the morning and feel refreshed and ready for the afternoon.
So this is good news,
Right,
That we can train to do things differently.
As human beings,
We're wired to respond to care.
And in the same way that we want to soothe others,
Self-soothing also calms the nervous system and allows the body to release happy hormones like oxytocin that help us feel contented and safe.
One way to boost our oxytocin levels is through caring touch.
As we're gently cuddled and caressed,
Our bodies release oxytocin,
The feel-good hormone that helps us feel loved and safe.
And that's why it feels so good to hug someone or stroke our cats and dogs.
We can also do this for ourselves to self-soothe.
So today,
Why not gently caress your skin or give yourself a hug from time to time?
Another way to help us feel loved and cared for is to imagine breathing in nourishment and imagine releasing tension as we breathe out.
So breathing in nourishment,
Breathing out and letting go.
This helps us become present and let go of any fears or judgments in a friendly way.
And these are even practices we can use on the go when we're working hard or giving care continually to others.
There's a practice called caring touch and nourishing breath on my channel if you want to actually practice this.
But during your day today,
Why not pause from time to time,
Give yourself a caring touch and take three deep nourishing breaths.
Well,
Thanks for listening.
Bye bye for now.
