Humiliation Wound - Primal Wound Series

Humiliation wound meditation as part of the primal wound series. The start to healing the humiliation wound is awareness. Use this practice to go deeper into shadow work and deeper healing. Group meditation using crystals.

Transcript

Begin to rest and get yourself comfortable.

Taking that gaze down if you haven't already,

Planting those feet down into the floor,

Really grounding down feeling that connection to the earth and allowing your body to become heavy.

Sinking down into your chair,

Allowing your shoulders to drop away from the ears and allowing your mind to focus on where you are right now,

This present moment.

As you relax your head back just notice what parts of your body are connected to the floor or to the chair.

Notice any aches or pains in the body,

Any tensions or tightnesses.

Notice how your body feels whether it's quite hot or cold.

Notice how the breath feels as it comes in and out of your body freely.

Not making any changes to your physical body or your breath,

Just simply observing how you feel right now.

No pressure,

No expectations,

No judgments.

Just simply observing where you are and how you're feeling.

As you breathe deeply just notice the breath expanding the belly and contracting.

As you inhale feel the belly expand.

As you exhale feel the belly fall.

As you inhale feel the belly rise.

As you exhale feel the belly fall.

And allowing yourself more and more to sink deeper and deeper into the floor,

Into the chair.

Your body is becoming heavy.

The arms are resting down,

The palms are face up.

Just notice which hand your stone,

Your crystal might be in.

Your left to receive that energy,

Your right to send that energy.

Maybe your crystal is quite calming,

Maybe your crystal is focusing on that love,

That self love within you.

Visualize that colour,

That energy coming in as you breathe in and as you exhale that colour,

That energy spreading around your body.

As you inhale that colour comes in.

As you exhale that colour expands and spreads around your body.

Inhaling as you push the belly out.

Exhaling as you spread that colour around your body.

Inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale.

Just working with that breath breathing deeply and the deeper you breathe the heavier your body becomes.

Melting further and further down into where it's rested.

And just reminding yourself you need to move then just move mindfully.

Release yourself from any pressure,

Any expectation.

Feel that connection to the earth,

That grounding sensation of your sit bones on the chair,

Your feet sinking into the floor,

Your spine nice and long,

Your head relaxed.

Breathing in and out deeply.

And when you're ready we're just going to bring that awareness to the focus today.

And the focus today is the humiliation wound,

One of the five primal wounds.

When we talk about the humiliation wound we sometimes think it can be an external factor,

Which it can.

We're going to look at both factors of the humiliation wound.

We're going to look on the intrusive thoughts side,

That internal voice.

I'm going to look at the external side,

Identifying those triggers.

So just want you to think on the word humiliation,

A strong word.

I want you to notice without pressure,

Without expectation,

Without judgments,

Without attaching anything to it,

What comes up for you when you hear that word.

What comes up in your mind,

A scenario,

A thought.

And as soon as it comes up I just want you to allow it to fade or wash away.

Observe,

Acknowledge and then allow it to fade away.

Now I want you to just slowly begin to visualize a triangle.

Visualize this triangle in your mind,

Notice the colors,

Notice the three points,

Notice how big or small the triangle is in your mind.

And at the top of the triangle I want you to see the word persecutor.

And then at one point at the bottom of the triangle I want you to see the word victim.

And on the other side of the triangle I want you to see the word rescuer.

Persecutor at the top of the triangle,

Victim at one side of the bottom and rescuer on the other side.

And the drama triangle relates to outside life and inside life.

We can create this drama triangle in our minds.

We might not notice that we're doing it but sometimes these intrusive thoughts that stem from this humiliation wound,

That negative self,

That ego,

That inner sub at all,

Whatever you call it,

May stem from this humiliation wound.

And when it comes out and those intrusive thoughts come out it forms this drama triangle.

So when you hear negative thoughts or negative thoughts come up for you they're acting as the persecutor.

The thoughts that tell you that you might not be good enough or you're not enough.

Those negative self-thoughts are caused by the humiliation wound and instigated by that persecutor,

The top of your triangle.

Once those thoughts get to you,

You then become the victim.

You feel bad.

You believe what the persecutor,

Those negative thoughts,

That ego,

Those negative sounds,

Voices are saying.

They get to you.

And that's when the victim part of the triangle is triggered.

And then they can often play between each of their persecutor to the victim back and forth but sometimes they're the rescuer.

Always trying to counter the argument,

You're not bad,

You are enough,

Don't listen to that ego,

You don't listen to that voice.

But sometimes we can listen to that rescuer and the more we listen to the rescuer the louder the persecutor might shout.

So the point of the drama triangle and the humiliation wound is to try and break this cycle,

This triangle that keeps going round and round.

What's good for you to do in this practice and what I welcome you to do is recognise the different voices.

Take a moment now,

Think about that triangle,

Think about when the persecutor for you has appeared.

What does it look like?

Is it the ego?

Is it the inner saboteur?

Just recognising that different voice.

And then maybe recognising the voice of your victim within you.

Maybe it's quite soft,

Maybe that's when you feel quite low or down.

And then observing the voice of the rescuer,

How loud does your rescuer have to shout until it's heard?

If at any point this doesn't resonate,

Just come back to that triangle,

Visualising that triangle in your mind and a beam of light moving around that triangle,

Stuck in this cycle.

Once you've recognised the different voices or aware of this triangle in your mind stemming from that humiliation wound deep down,

The best way to break this cycle can be through love.

Loving each voice individually.

So when you think of that persecutor,

The top of that triangle and those voices and whatever it's saying to you,

Greeting that persecutor with love can help silence that voice,

Quieten that voice.

Maybe repeating that mantra.

You are loved.

The persecutor within me is loved.

I don't know where this is coming from,

But you are loved.

And actually having that thought,

That communication in the mind speaking to that different voice and each point of that triangle sending that love out to that persecutor,

To that ego,

To that inner saboteur.

You are loved.

Every time it says something,

Tells you a bad thing,

Tries to overwhelm you,

You are loved.

It doesn't matter what it's saying,

You don't need to know whether it's right or wrong,

It just needs to know and hear that it is loved.

Loving each part of you.

And that's the same for the victim.

So as you move to that bottom part of your triangle,

Visually,

Seeing that triangle,

Seeing that victim,

Hearing that voice,

Repeating the same mantra that you've created.

I understand how you feel.

You are loved.

It's okay,

You are loved.

Just find your variation of your mantra that you can say to your softer voice,

This victim part of your triangle sharing that love and slowly breaking that cycle of drama through that acknowledgement.

And as you go into daily life you may notice when it arises and when you find that awareness and you acknowledge it,

You come back to that mantra of you are loved.

I understand you are loved.

And then finally coming to that rescuer,

The one that has to shout and shouts and shouts to be heard.

Maybe acknowledging that louder voice.

I know you're trying to counter but that's okay.

You are loved.

There's no right or wrong,

There's no yes or no,

You are loved.

Saying that this point of your triangle,

The rescuer,

I understand you are loved.

I'm just repeating that in your mind and living each part of your drama triangle but being able to acknowledge it and be aware of it.

And whether you just take a little bit away from this practice or you take a lot,

You're taking enough time to heal and start your journey wherever you are.

Take a final moment with that triangle,

Visualize that triangle from point to point.

Breathing deeply in and out of your body with no pressure,

No expectation,

Just simple awareness.

I want you to visualize that triangle turning into a color of love whatever you associate with that color,

With that love.

Visualize that triangle shining brighter and brighter in that color,

That self-love shining brighter and brighter in your mind,

Shimmering from point to point.

Maybe the image is getting bigger and bigger in your mind and then allow that triangle to slowly fade away into the distance.

Coming back to the breath,

The deep inhalations and the deep exhalations.

Part of the humiliation wound,

One of the five primal wounds is finding that inner self love.

Not just loving the parts that you like but loving all parts of you.

Loving your triggers,

Loving your wounds,

Loving yourself physically,

Mentally and emotionally.

Just going to work with that theme of self-love and as we practice and we go deeper and deeper into our meditation,

We're activating those alpha and theta waves.

Deep relaxed state of mind.

I just want you to allow your body to sink deeper and deeper into a nice and relaxed state.

Allow the mind to soften.

Maybe licking the lips if you've noticed your jaws become tense.

Maybe allowing those shoulders to drop further down away from your ears.

Noticing the fingertips curling inwards and just really softening the body and softening the mind.

I want you to bring your awareness to self-love.

Notice what self-love means to you.

You have a lot of self-love for every part of you.

With your feet connected to the floor,

Connected to that earth,

I want you to take a big deep breath in and instead of drawing energy from within you,

Draw it from the earth.

Breathe in that grounding energy,

Breathe in that love that you want to create and as you exhale I want you to spread that love and that light around that body.

So notice what colour comes to mind as you inhale and spread that colour,

That love around your body.

As you inhale breathe in that self-love,

Draw it up from the earth and as you exhale spread it around your body from head to toe.

Inhale,

Exhale.

Nice long deep inhale and at the top of your inhale just take in a little bit more breath and as you exhale release,

Let it go.

Inhaling deeply,

Exhaling completely.

Inhale,

Draw in that love,

Breathe it in and then breathe it out.

Inhale,

Deep breath in,

Breathe in that colour,

Breathe in that love,

Draw that energy from the ground and then spread it around your body,

Keeping that energy within you,

Feeling that self-love that you deserve.

And then when you're ready coming back to a new theme of patience and when you think of patience maybe notice what comes up for you.

Maybe you have a lot of patience,

Maybe have a little.

Again it's all about that awareness.

If the mind wanders that's okay,

That's normal,

Just guiding it back to your focus,

That patience.

Having patience that this is a journey,

Things might not happen straight away or things may happen straight away.

Just as you practice your deepening,

Your awareness deepening,

That work and that connection within you.

And when you come back to that humiliation wound,

I want you to think of humiliation from the outside view now.

There might be situations you think of when that humiliation wound was triggered.

Again if anything comes to mind,

Not labelling it with emotion,

Not labelling it negatively or positively,

Just simply observing that situation or that thought in your mind and acknowledging that.

Did it stem from an outside drama triangle?

Was someone a persecutor and you were the victim?

Or maybe you were the rescuer or maybe you were the persecutor in that situation?

Did you find yourself in that cycle?

Do you know what triggered that wound?

Do you know where it came from?

When you think of it as a thought,

How big is that thought in your mind?

And as you breathe deeply in and out of your body,

Are you to allow that thought to fade,

To wash,

To float away?

Getting smaller and smaller into the distance as we heal,

As we're on this journey of awareness,

Of acceptance,

Of breathing deeply.

And when you think of those situations that might have come up then and you see them fading away,

I want you to send love that way.

Send that energy you've drawn up from the earth,

That love and send it out to those situations.

Releasing yourself from that shame,

That guilt you might feel or might have felt back then.

Sending that love out,

Sharing that love out.

And a quote from the wind says,

Feed your soul with love,

This is the way to heal your wounds.

Feed your soul with love,

This is the way to heal your wounds.

Feed your soul with love,

This is the way to heal your wounds.

Send that love inwards towards yourself but also send that love out into the world.

Living every part of you and living every part of the external you,

No matter where you are,

Where you were or where you're going.

Just working with that theme of self-love,

The deep inhalations,

The deep exhalations that flow in and out of your body and then I just want you to come back to that practice of self-love.

Come back to that colour of love and just breathe it in and out of your body freely,

Not creating it just simply allowing it to flow through the crown of your head,

Out through the soles of the feet,

Out through the palms.

As you inhale allow it to come through the soles of the feet,

Through the palms and out through the crown of the head.

That love,

That colour flowing freely throughout you.

Inhaling deeply and exhaling completely,

No pressure,

No expectations,

Just simple breathing in and out of that love.

And then working with that mantra,

Whatever mantra you choose,

As you repeat that mantra just draw a finger in towards your palm and once all ten fingers are down expand the palm and send that energy,

That light,

That love into the world.

I am loved,

You are loved,

I am loved,

You are loved,

I am loved,

You are loved,

I am loved,

You are loved,

I am loved,

You are loved.

And then releasing those hands and just sending that energy,

That light,

That love out into the world.

Breathing deeply.

And I can always if you'd like some oil in your palms just allow your palms to be face up.

If you prefer not to then just allow your palms to be face down.

And once you've got the oil in your hands just begin to rub your hands together.

Create that friction,

That warmth,

That energy.

And then half of the hands over the face,

Feeling that goodness,

That energy,

That love that's flowing through you.

Breathe it in and breathe it out.

And then we need to take the fingertips to the crown of the head.

I want you to finally move through this energy releasing anything we need to let go of.

So as you bring the fingertips to the crown of the head I just want you to tap.

Tapping gently the crown of your head releasing any stagnant energy,

Anything that's stuck,

Anything you need to let go of.

Any of those intrusive thoughts that no longer serve you.

Making space for more love to come in.

Tapping the eyebrow bone from the third eye,

The middle of the eyebrow bone all the way across to the sides.

Tapping along that bone again,

Releasing that energy,

Releasing any thoughts that no longer serve you.

Creating space for love.

And then finally just tapping the jawline up and down the jawline.

Breathing deeply here.

And then tapping the collarbone,

Both of them just releasing that pressure,

Tension,

Tightness,

Any negative energy.

Leaving your body now,

Leaving space for that love to flow within you.

And then tapping the side of the right hand from the little finger down to the wrist.

And the left.

And then when you're ready to bring your hands together,

Rub your hands together,

Create that warmth,

That energy.

Hover the hands over the face,

Seal in that goodness,

That light,

That healing.

Bring the hands back together.

Take a big deep breath in and sigh it out.

Inhale and sigh it out.

One more big breath in.

And sigh it out.

And keep practicing with me this evening.