Hi,
This is Orit Krug,
Board-certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on how to stop overgiving when you are anxiously attached in relationships.
When you can stop overgiving,
You can further break the patterns of anxious attachment because it allows you to build more security and love for yourself instead of abandoning your needs for other people.
So,
In order to begin this meditation,
You can find yourself in a comfortable position right now,
Whether that's sitting,
Standing,
Or lying down.
And when you get to a place that feels supportive to your body,
You may close your eyes or lower your gaze.
Let's take a deep breath in together.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Let's do that one more time.
Breathing in and breathing out.
I'd like to invite you now to tune into your body as you think about,
Remember,
Or visualize a time when you felt a deep urge,
Desire,
Or even a sense of desperation to overgive to your partner.
What is the first sensation in your body that you feel as you think about this or as you tune into this?
Notice what sensation comes up.
Notice anything else about this sensation,
If there's a color,
Texture,
Or a certain movement,
And where you feel it in your body.
For example,
You may feel this overall pull to move forward,
For your whole body to move forward.
You may feel a constriction in your chest.
You may feel an intense buzz throughout your body.
There's no right or wrong.
These are just some examples.
Whatever the sensation is that you are feeling right now,
I'm going to ask you to allow your body to begin moving organically in response to the sensation,
To give yourself what your body may need right now.
It's okay if you don't know exactly what your body needs,
And it's okay if you don't get it right,
Whatever that means.
Whatever sensation you're feeling right now,
Give yourself movement and let your body lead that.
If you felt this pull to move forward,
Perhaps you stand up and you literally walk moving forward.
If you felt an overall anxious buzz running through your body,
Perhaps you feel the organic desire to shake out your arms,
Shake out your body,
Or perhaps you feel a natural urge to simply hug yourself or hold yourself.
Again,
There is no right or wrong,
But whatever sensation you are feeling right now,
Let your body lead you to give something to yourself.
Give yourself some movement.
Give yourself a pose.
Give yourself what your body is asking for.
You can play,
Explore.
If you try on a movement and it doesn't feel right,
That's okay.
Try something else.
You may repeat the same movement over and over again.
For instance,
You may sway the entire time we're doing this right now.
Or your sway can evolve and turn into something else where your arms begin to move or your position changes.
There is no right or wrong.
This is how you stop overgiving because that urge and pull to overgive,
It starts with the sensation in your body that usually feels uncomfortable because it's coming from a place that is full of fear.
Fear of abandonment,
Fear of rejection,
Anxiety to keep your partner around,
To give them so much that they don't leave.
Your overgiving habit starts with an uncomfortable sensation.
And instead of trying to regulate or calm that sensation by giving outward to someone who may not even be able to receive or who maybe doesn't deserve it,
You give back to yourself.
Allow yourself to receive your own love because you do deserve it.
Whatever you're doing right now,
However you're moving,
Bring your movements gradually to a close.
Perhaps landing in an ending position that feels right for you right now.
And take a deep breath in and out.
Gently open your eyes and look around your space.
Make physical contact with your body.
Perhaps a firm,
Gentle squeeze on your arms.
A light,
Soft caressing on your lap.
Just letting your body know that you are back in the here and now.
And remember this experience anytime you feel the urge to overgive.
Of course,
It's okay.
And it's great to give to your partner and any other relationships.
It's wonderful to give and receive and be in that mutual reciprocity that often exists in relationships.
But when you feel the sensation that mirrors anxiety or fear that leads to overgiving,
Remember this experience and give it all back to yourself first.
Whatever your experience was today,
Just know that this is a practice and you can come back to this meditation as many times as you need.
And if you'd like to do a deeper dive on healing anxious attachment through your body and through movement,
You can take my five-day course on Insight Timer called Heal Anxious Attachment in Body Security,
Confidence,
And Self-Love.
I hope to see you in there.
And until then,
You deserve all the love that you desire.
