Hi,
This is Uriq Krug,
Board certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement based meditation on how to stop nitpicking your partner so that you can just enjoy your relationship together without constantly criticizing them and feeling judgmental.
This is for you if you know that you have a loving,
Supportive,
And even amazing partner,
But you just can't stop yourself from finding the tiniest little things that you're unhappy with.
So,
If this sounds like you,
Let's begin.
We'll first take two deep breaths,
Starting in whatever position you feel like.
You can be in a chair,
On the floor,
You can even be standing up.
Now,
Once you've found the perfect position for you today,
Let's breathe in together.
And breathe out.
Again,
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
Take a moment first to visualize and feel in your body those moments that you get really caught up in the negative thinking and pointing out these little things about your partner that bother you.
Maybe it's,
Oh,
They're so lazy,
Or why won't they just pick up their socks from the floor?
Whatever it is,
No judgment.
No judgment here at all.
But I want you to really feel into that.
How does it feel in your body when you're in this place?
Tap into that right now.
What do you notice?
Do you notice your entire body tensing up as you pick out these tiny things?
As you scoff at disappointment at them?
You feel a heated energy going through your body.
Like,
You almost want to punch a wall.
What do you really feel in these moments?
Maybe you feel less of that anger and stimulation and more just betrayed,
Hopeless sadness.
That something as little as leaving the milk out makes you feel like you're back at four years old,
Betrayed,
And like no one really cares about your needs.
Even if you know in your mind that you've blown it out of proportion,
That your partner really is amazing,
And that your reaction really doesn't represent the way that they do love and care about you,
Even if your mind knows all those things,
And is maybe even saying these things right now,
Just go back into your body.
Feel what's really happening there,
How it really feels,
Because even if you judge it as irrational or overreacting,
It's there,
And we need to tend to it.
So whatever you're feeling and visualizing,
The way that you hold yourself in your body,
The way you move your body and react through your body,
And feel in there,
As you get in this spiral of nitpicking,
I want you to tend to yourself and your emotions right now.
If you're feeling frustrated,
Maybe you feel a natural desire to wave your arms as if you're discharging some of that anger.
If you feel betrayed and like your body is almost caving in,
Maybe you have the natural desire to hold yourself.
There's no right or wrong here.
This is about you organically allowing your body to respond to your needs through movement,
So that in those times of projecting and nitpicking,
Putting all the focus on what your partner's doing wrong,
You're actually bringing it back to yourself,
Because it is in those very moments that no one else is betraying you.
You're betraying you.
You're not meeting your needs,
And you deserve to have your needs met.
So come back to yourself right now and invite this movement in.
It could be as simple as just rubbing your shoulder,
Rubbing your arms,
Or it could be really that discharging that energy.
Maybe even some words pop up with that.
I am worthy of being seen.
I am worthy of being cared for.
I am worthy of being loved.
Maybe there's some other words that the movement brings up for you right now.
Whatever it is,
There is no right or wrong,
And this may look very different depending on the day you do this movement meditation.
Whatever your experience has been today,
It's time to gradually,
Slowly bring it to a close.
Even if it's unfinished,
You can come back again tomorrow.
So bring your movement slowly,
Gradually,
Smaller,
Slower until you find stillness,
And take a big deep breath in and breathing out.
For best results,
I encourage you to repeat this meditation every day until you are able to naturally notice your body in these moments that you're nitpicking your partner,
And you're able to just focus on you and just tend to you instead of picking at them.
That's how you know you've made a shift.
And until then,
You deserve to be able to let healthy,
Lasting love in.
Thanks so much for joining me.
I'll see you at the next one.
