Hi,
This is Ori Krug,
Board-certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on stopping anxious attachment behaviors.
When you have all the awareness about your anxious attachment and what your patterns are and where it even comes from,
Perhaps from past childhood trauma,
Yet you continue to react impulsively and behave in ways in your relationships that you perhaps later regret,
Then it means that your body is not quite ready to integrate what your mind knows.
It's not able to be in command of healthier patterns that don't sabotage your relationships.
So let's move through this together and see what is necessary in your body to stop these anxious attachment patterns.
You can begin in a position that feels comfortable for you right now,
Whether that's sitting down,
Laying down,
Or standing up.
And I'm going to invite you to close your eyes or lower your gaze.
And we're going to take three deep breaths together.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Once again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
One last time,
Breathing in and breathing out.
I want to invite you now to imagine or visualize a common situation,
Perhaps something that happened really recently that has triggered anxious attachment.
And as you do this,
Notice immediately what you feel in your body,
What sensations are present,
The discomfort,
Perhaps the yearning,
The desire to control or gain reassurance,
The urge to blame,
Whatever that feels like in your body.
So even if you hear certain thoughts in your mind,
Come back to the body and focus and notice what sensations come up.
And as you're with these sensations,
Perhaps it's a heaviness,
A longing,
Feeling of being out of control,
Whatever those sensations are,
Stay with it.
Have your body naturally organically respond to these sensations.
So if you're feeling an overall heaviness in your body,
What does your body naturally want to do?
Find yourself wanting to hug yourself or surrender into the heaviness and lay all the way down on the ground.
If you feel a sensation of yearning and emptiness,
What does your body instinctually want to do in order to meet this need and maybe even fill what feels like a void?
How can you meet yourself in that right now?
Through movement,
Let your body lead that,
Not your mind.
Or another example is if you're feeling a sense of being out of control from feeling into your anxious attachment,
How can you move your body in a way that feels more empowered,
More in command of making intentional choices?
What other movements can you do to be so kind and loving and compassionate to yourself?
Because this is really the opportunity here.
When we feel anxiously attached and we feel that we need that reassurance,
We need to control these uncomfortable feelings by controlling the situation with our relationships.
We're essentially avoiding the feelings in our bodies that we really need to feel and move with when you allow yourself to really feel the feelings and the sensations that come along with anxious attachment and you move with them.
That is an act of self-love.
And when you let them move through you,
You create a space for even more self-love.
So perhaps your movement right now started with a self-hug or surrendering into the ground.
Now keep tuning in.
What else can your body do?
What else communicates self-love and compassion and kindness from whatever position or whatever movement you're doing right now?
Keep letting your body lead you.
For instance,
If you're in a self-hug,
Maybe you find yourself start to caress your arms,
Your face,
Perhaps even run your fingers through your own hair.
This is the kind of thing where when we feel anxiously attached and we expect others to soothe that,
Which isn't always wrong,
But when we chronically expect others to soothe that,
We miss the opportunities to self-soothe,
To show ourselves love and that we can give ourselves that assurance and feeling and comfort that we may desperately seek from others.
Give yourself that right now and notice that when you let yourself feel the real feelings that are buried underneath the anxiety and the constant need for reassurance and you get to the sadness,
Perhaps the fear that lies underneath and you allow yourself to be with that and move with that,
You are loving yourself,
Which inevitably allows you to feel more easily loved by others,
Less dependent on them to love you in order to feel loved.
Take another minute here,
Keep following organically what your body wants to do and when the minute is over,
I will guide us to close gently and gradually.
Whatever you're doing,
However you're moving,
Start to bring your movements to a gradual,
Gentle close,
Perhaps ending in a position that feels symbolic of your experience here,
Whether that's hands on your heart.
Take a deep breath in here,
Breathing in,
Gently open your eyes,
Find your space,
Intentional physical contact with yourself,
Bring yourself back to this present moment.
If you'd like to continue your journey to deep self-love and healthy relationships,
Check out my course on Insight Timer called You Are Worthy of Love,
Healing from Trauma.
Until next time,
You deserve to be able to let healthy,
Lasting love in.
