Hi,
This is Orit Krug,
Board-certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on moving from avoidant attachment to secure attachment.
This body-based meditation will be especially helpful for you if you understand why and how you need to change,
But your body's behaviors just aren't following through with your mind's intention to behave differently in relationships.
To begin,
Find yourself in a comfortable position,
Whether that's sitting down,
Laying down,
Or standing up.
Really tune into what feels supportive to your body right now and land there.
Once you find a comfortable position,
We're going to take in three deep breaths.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
One last time,
Breathing in and breathing out.
I want to invite you now to imagine or visualize the way that you are and feel and behave while your avoidant attachment triggers are at its most intense.
You can do this in a way where you don't let those triggers actually take over you in this moment,
But rather picture yourself on a movie screen or in your mind's eye.
When your avoidant attachment patterns are most activated,
What does your body look like?
How are you holding yourself in your body?
How are you moving in relationship to others?
Try to witness and view this objectively as you watch yourself in your imagination.
How are you walking out on the sidewalk or from room to room when you're feeling most activated in your avoidant attachment behaviors?
Once you really get this picture or this visual,
Start to invite your body into it.
If you imagined that you hunch over and your shoulders are raised up really high when your avoidant attachment is most intense,
You can start trying that on.
If you saw yourself walking very rigidly with your head down,
I want to invite you to actually do that movement right now.
It can be that concrete where you try on the movements that you saw in yourself,
But you can also just bring that overall feeling,
That overall visual into your body and allow your body to move with it without much structure and be in that space for a little while.
Whether you're doing the same repeated movements or you're in one position or your movements shift,
Change,
Or evolve,
Embody right now the part of you that feels avoidant of intimacy,
That isolates during conflict instead of coming together,
And that feels an immense amount of pressure to show up a certain way in relationships.
As you're here,
I want to invite you back to visualize what it would be like if you felt more secure,
If you felt more safe,
Having an open heart,
Being more vulnerable,
Being more intimate,
And really enjoying that without any of the fear or pressure to show up in any way.
What would it feel like in your body if you had the confidence to navigate conflict without getting defensive,
Without feeling the blame,
Without feeling attacked,
Even if you are attacked?
How would you hold yourself in your body when you're your most secure and open hearted and softened and loving in relationships?
Move from the way that you embodied avoidant attachment into this secure attachment and a state of openness,
Vulnerability,
And security.
How are you noticing your body move now and what did you have to do to make the shift?
For instance,
If you started out hunched over and your body tightly wound,
Perhaps crossing your arms,
And now you're moving with open arms and taking up space,
How did you get from that point A to point B?
Notice all the little things that needed to happen to make that shift.
Maybe it started with a deep breath and a gradual loosening up of your grip into eventually opening up little by little.
Maybe your shift was less gradual and more abrupt and you went from walking with your head down with heavy steps and somehow you did some movement that just let that go.
Notice all these elements that allowed you to shift from avoidant attachment to secure attachment in this practice right now and take the next minute to keep experimenting with this,
Embodying avoidant attachment and then shifting into secure attachment.
And then let yourself shift back into the embodiment of avoidant attachment and then again back into secure attachment because this shift is never linear.
Some days you'll feel more secure and other days you'll feel more avoidant.
And as you grow and evolve over time,
The trajectory goes from avoidant to secure,
But on an everyday level,
We're always doing this dance between the attachment type that is now our baseline and the attachment type that we're growing into that is healthier.
So do this dance now.
Move back and forth between avoidant and secure and at the same time witness yourself and your body and what it is doing organically,
Naturally,
Without force or pressure or expectation.
Notice what it's doing to make those shifts to go into secure attachment from avoidant and what brings you back into avoidant when you feel secure.
I'm going to leave an open space for the next minute for you to play with this and explore and then when the minute is up,
I'll prompt us to start slowing down and come to a close.
Whatever you're doing right now,
However you are moving,
Start to gradually and slowly make your movements smaller and slower until you eventually reach an ending pose or an ending movement that feels good enough for you right now.
And when you land in this pose,
Take a deep breath in and out.
If your eyes are closed,
You may gently open your eyes,
Look around this physical space that you're in,
Make some physical contact with yourself,
Just letting your body know that you're here and now.
Feel free to come back to this meditation over and over and keep embodying this practice.
And if you'd like to do a deeper dive into loving in a healthy way without sabotage,
Without pushing away partners,
Without trauma,
Continuously getting in the way of deep fulfilling love,
Then come take my course on Insight Timer called You Are Worthy of Love Healing from Trauma.
I hope to see you in there and until next time,
You deserve all the love that you desire.
