Hi,
This is Orit Krug,
Board-certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on loving yourself even through anxious attachment.
One of the things that makes anxious attachment even harder and even more intense is blaming ourselves or telling ourselves that it's our fault for the downfall of our relationships and essentially rejecting and abandoning our own selves,
Which is exactly what we don't want to happen from other partners.
So this meditation will be crucial in helping you dissolve anxious attachment behaviors by first building a foundation of loving yourself as you do so.
To begin this meditation,
Find a position that feels comfortable and supportive to your body right now.
You may stand,
Sit,
Or lay down for this,
And when you get to this position,
You may gently close your eyes or lower your gaze,
Whatever feels more comfortable for you,
And we're going to take a deep breath in and out together.
Breathing in and breathing out,
In your mind's eye,
I'm going to invite you to imagine or visualize a version of you that is anxiously attached.
You may see this as if you're watching a movie of yourself or see the visual playing out in your mind.
When you are triggered in intense anxious attachment,
How do you see yourself?
What are you doing?
How is your body holding itself?
What are the ways that you're moving,
Whether you're simply walking down the street or you're interacting and gesturing with your partner?
Try to get as clear of a picture as you can,
Seeing yourself activated in this anxious state,
And as you see yourself right now,
What are the sensations coming up in your body?
You may notice that your body becomes tense or that you don't actually feel sensations,
But it feels more like you're checked out or just connected.
Notice whatever sensations are present or very obviously not present.
Notice if there are any thoughts or judgments that come up around that,
And if there are,
Bring yourself back to your body as you try to let go of the words happening inside of your head.
Whatever sensations you're feeling right now,
I'm going to ask you to allow your body to organically respond and meet yourself in those sensations so that you can be with them and potentially move with your sensations,
Dropping the need right now to fix them or resolve them or do anything about them other than meet them where they are.
So if your body feels tense,
What is the natural instinct that your body wants to do to meet yourself in this tension?
It may be an instinctual desire to shake out some of that energy or to squeeze yourself in a hug really tight and almost embrace that tension.
There is no right or wrong.
These are just examples of some things that could feel right for you.
However,
You begin to move with these sensations,
It may be small,
It may be big.
You may be repeating the same movements or the movements may be evolving and shifting.
You may not move at all.
Allow your body to take the lead and be with your sensations without pushing them away.
This is how you can love yourself through anxious attachment behaviors,
Not by trying to tell yourself that you love yourself or to feel positive.
Those things can be helpful,
But true,
Embodied,
Lasting self-love is about feeling your feelings and being by your side through them and giving your body what you need or at least trying to give your body what you need through these feelings.
A lot of times when we're experiencing intense anxious attachment,
We are often in denial,
We say it's not okay,
We fear judgment,
We feel shame.
Let yourself for the next minute feel whatever sensations are coming up,
Being with them and moving with them.
Now,
Whatever you're doing,
However you're moving,
Start to gradually and slowly bring your movements to a close and eventually find yourself in an ending position or movement that feels right for you,
Whether that's a self-hug or a certain power pose or a gentle sway or something else.
When you get to this ending position,
Let's take a deep breath in together and out.
May gently open your eyes,
Look around your space,
Make some intentional physical contact with your own body to let you know that you are right here,
Right now.
Whatever your experience was today,
Just know that this is a practice and you can come back to this meditation as many times as you need.
And if you'd like to do a deeper dive on healing anxious attachment through your body and through movement,
You can take my five-day course on Insight Timer called Heal Anxious Attachment in Body Security,
Confidence and Self-Love.
I hope to see you in there and until then,
You deserve all the love that you desire.
