Hi,
This is Orit Kru,
Board certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation to get clarity about whether your relationship is unhealthy,
Or if it's just your old trauma creating problems out of nothing and seeing red flags when there really aren't none anymore.
This is especially for you if you've experienced trauma in the past,
In your childhood,
Or in previous romantic relationships,
And you're currently in what feels like the healthiest relationship you've ever been in,
But you still can't help but question if your partner is the right,
Loving,
Supportive one for you.
We're going to try to get some clarity here today.
We're going to start with two deep breaths,
Breathing in,
And breathing out.
And again,
Breathing in,
And breathing out.
Just take a moment,
A few moments,
To envision and get a picture in your mind of all the things that you do right now in your relationship that pushes your partner away or that sabotages it.
Maybe you question every act of love that your partner does.
Maybe you get nervous when they touch you and show physical affection,
And you have an immediate impulse to brush them away.
Maybe you stay quiet and keep the peace because you're afraid that they're going to be upset with you if you say what you really think.
Maybe you just have this overall feeling of not being able to be yourself and not being good enough.
And you're not quite sure if that's all of your old trauma or if that's your partner.
So instead of focusing on what your partner thinks and does and wants,
We're going to keep this focus on you today in this visualization and start envisioning everything you want to be instead in your relationship.
Maybe that's looking like you have an open heart and you're vulnerable,
But you also assert your needs with power and compassion at the same time.
You stand up tall in your relationship.
The way you walk and hold yourself in your body is confident and secure.
And you almost own the room when you walk into it.
Imagine that you are so confident in how amazing you are that not only does it show up in your body,
But it shows through your actions,
Through never second guessing what your partner really meant by what they said,
Or worrying that they're going to find someone better than you.
You feel good enough all of the time and happy and expansive in your own skin.
Imagine that right now.
What would that look like in your body?
How would you hold yourself in your body differently?
And now I want to invite you to move that.
Invite organic movement into this.
Maybe that means you start to sway and roll your shoulders and start to have this fluid movement in your body.
Perhaps you find yourself standing up on your two feet,
Feeling really grounded into the floor.
And you might even start taking a walk around your room.
Your head held up high,
Your shoulders lifted back,
Your chest opened up.
And like yeah,
You do own the room.
Maybe your movements a little smaller,
More self touch,
More kind of feeling yourself in a really self loving,
Self compassionate way.
Invite movement into your body right now.
Just focusing on you,
Not on your partner at all,
About the person you want to be in your relationship,
And how you want to feel and how you want to show up.
Keep moving that.
Keep going.
And now,
I want you to imagine as you're still moving.
And as you're still envisioning this you,
This new evolved you.
I want you to now imagine your partner right in front of you.
What's their response?
Are they excited to see you in this way?
Are they a little confused because it's new,
And they're not used to seeing you this way but they're,
You know,
They're intrigued.
Are they relieved that you can finally see how amazing you are?
Do they come closer to you?
Do they stay exactly where they're at but just look so much more relaxed?
Or,
Do you see your partner pushing you away,
Looking down at you,
Feeling threatened by your new confidence,
And responding maliciously because of it.
It's okay and it's normal if you see your partner getting confused and almost unsure what to do by this new you.
But if they're putting you down,
If they're really unhappy about this,
You might have clarity that they're not healthy for you.
Even if they are confused,
Or not used to seeing you this way,
But you eventually see them coming closer to you,
Or just relaxing because you can finally let them in.
Then you know that becoming this new you shifts your entire relationship.
And that your partner is completely supportive of that,
Even if they don't know how to respond yet.
Whatever you're doing,
However you're moving,
I'm going to invite you to slow down gradually,
Slowly make your movement smaller until you come to a satisfying pause.
And if you're not there yet,
Take your time.
But I'm going to invite you now to take two deep breaths,
Breathing in and breathing out.
Again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
I hope that this has given you the clarity that you were looking for today.
And know that if you don't have clarity yet,
You can come back and do this meditation once or twice more.
I suggest not coming back more than that,
Because the constant need to analyze and find reassurance about your relationship is a trauma pattern in itself.
And it may not be helpful to you to repeatedly do this meditation.
If you need more guidance,
I suggest listening to my other meditation from my library called I am good enough.
Because you are.
Until next time,
You deserve to be able to let healthy,
Lasting love in.
