Finding Self-Love After Divorce

Loving yourself after divorce can be difficult when you are going through grief, change, and uncertainty. In this movement-based meditation, you'll be guided to embody self-love and self-acceptance, no matter what feelings are coming up through the end of your marriage. This will be especially helpful if you've done a lot of affirmations, meditations, and therapy that are more mind-based because this meditation will give you an experience in the body of loving yourself truly.

Transcript

Hi,

This is Ori Kru,

Board-certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.

Today,

I would love to help you find self-love after divorce.

To begin this meditation,

Find yourself in a comfortable position that feels supportive to your body right now.

And let's take two deep breaths together.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Again,

Breathing in and breathing out.

You may close your eyes or lower your gaze.

And I'm going to invite you to tune in,

Think about,

Or just focus on your experience of divorce,

Grief,

Loss,

Change.

What sensation does this immediately bring up in your body?

You might feel something uncomfortable,

Unpleasant,

Surprising,

Or perhaps something that feels good.

Whatever sensation you felt arise from thinking about your divorce,

Notice it and invite movement into it.

Meaning,

Whatever sensation you feel,

Let your body begin to naturally respond to it.

For example,

If you felt a pit at the bottom of your stomach when thinking about your divorce,

How does your body naturally want to respond or meet yourself in that sensation?

You may find that you organically want to put both hands firmly on your stomach or maybe lie down with your stomach on the floor to let the ground hold you in that way.

If you felt a tension in your shoulders,

Maybe you have the natural instinct to roll your shoulders or give yourself a massage on your shoulders.

There's no right or wrong.

Follow your body's natural instincts and avoid the desire to fix,

Numb,

Disconnect,

Or release the sensation that you feel.

That is usually our first tendency,

Is if we feel something in our bodies that are uncomfortable or unfamiliar,

We want to fix them.

We want to make it feel quote-unquote better.

But in doing that,

We reject what we feel instead of accepting it with love.

So whatever you're feeling right now,

Whatever sensations are arising,

Continue to invite your body to meet those sensations exactly where they're at.

Because sensations aren't good or bad.

Every sensation is an opportunity to meet yourself where you're at.

If you feel a heaviness,

You may bring your entire body to the ground to be held.

If you feel a buzzing through your body,

Which your mind may label as anxiety,

You may feel the natural instinct to start shaking your arms.

There are no right or wrong movements.

It's what your body feels naturally inclined to do to respond,

Be with,

And move with the sensation without trying to fix it or push it away.

Keep moving as you reflect on your experience of divorce,

And keep feeling those sensations come up.

And keep taking the opportunity to meet yourself in those sensations.

Because this is the essence of self-love.

It is allowing yourself to feel all of it and be in all of it with love and care.

And it may not always feel good,

And it may be hard to not want to fix it right away.

But when you are with all of these sensations that come up through the difficult experience of divorce,

You are essentially embodying self-love for all that you are experiencing,

All that you are working through and healing and grieving.

Feeling all of your feelings and being with them and caring for them instead of dismissing them.

That is self-love.

So take the next minute to continue feeling these sensations and moving your body in whatever way it naturally,

Organically wants to respond.

Not dismissing any of them,

Not trying to get rid of any of them,

But truly being with them and moving with them.

I'll leave a minute of space now so you can explore.

And then when that minute is up,

I'll have us come to a close.

Whatever you're doing,

However you're moving,

Bring your movements to a gradual close,

Making them smaller,

Slower,

Until you eventually land in an ending pose,

Perhaps with your hands on your heart,

Hugging yourself,

Or something else.

And once you find yourself in this position,

Let's take a deep breath in together.

Thank yourself for allowing yourself to be with your body through the very real,

Raw,

And powerful sensations that you experience through this very big event in your life.

The more that you can be with your body and not neglect or rush or force the process,

The more you can embody self-love.

And when you embody self-love through one of the hardest things you'll ever have to go through,

You'll inevitably carry that self-love with you in your body wherever you go next.

Thank you for joining me in this meditation,

And until next time,

You deserve all of the love that you desire.