Hi,
My name is Orit Krug,
Board certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on improving the connection with your partner.
When we experience past trauma and it stays trapped in our bodies,
We hold on to the belief that we will get hurt like we did in the past.
And so it comes natural to block out intimacy and to avoid feeling a deeper connection with anyone because it's so hard to trust that we are worthy of that love and that that love won't end in abandonment or rejection.
So in this movement meditation,
Let's connect to your body gently and safely to see what you need to do next in order to open up,
Feel a deeper connection with your partner and let in healthy love.
To begin,
Find yourself in a comfortable position that feels good enough to you right now.
You can be sitting,
Standing or lying down for this meditation.
And once you feel comfortable,
We're going to take three deep breaths together.
Breathing in and breathing out.
And again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
Last one,
Breathing in and breathing out.
You can close your eyes or lower your gaze and begin to tune into your own body.
Even though this meditation is about your relationship and your connection with your partner,
We're going to focus on just you right now.
So now I'm going to invite you to notice the first sensation that comes up in your body as you are here in this moment.
Whatever that sensation is,
Hold on to it.
You might find your mind wanting to question it or analyze what it means,
But I want you to simply be with it,
See it and just tune in a little bit more.
What's the first sensation you're feeling right now?
And whatever that sensation is,
I'm going to ask you to invite movement into it.
Natural organic movement.
So if you felt a sensation of restriction in your chest,
You may have the natural instinct to breathe in a little bit deeper or the natural instinct to put your hands on your chest.
There is no right or wrong here and I really want to emphasize just allowing your body to move in response to your sensation instead of your mind deciding what you should be doing.
Allow your body to find organic natural movement to move with this sensation.
If you felt tension in your shoulders,
You might have the natural urge to roll your shoulders or to massage them.
These are just some examples of what might come up and how you could respond to them.
But in this moment,
Try to tune into the sensation that you had letting your body respond in your own unique way.
You don't have to respond in any way that seems fancy or interesting and you could be doing the same repetitive movement right now,
Which is totally normal and okay.
Keep moving,
Keep inviting movement into the sensation and you may continue repeating the same movement or your movement may evolve into something different or into something bigger.
Perhaps more expansive or perhaps smaller and more close to your body.
I'm asking you to do this because in this moment,
You are connecting to yourself through your body,
Through movement in this very present moment.
As you are moving right now,
Tuning into your body and responding organically with movement,
You are really being with yourself.
You are really connecting with yourself.
This is the essence of connection is being present and moving with.
Not being stuck in your head and having your mind tell you what you should do or having your mind find a solution or fix something.
That's what we always do.
That's what we commonly do as trauma survivors,
Especially if we have a certain sensation or emotion in our bodies,
We want to fix it or push it away or resolve it as soon as possible.
This restricts the connection with your own self when you do that.
When you feel a certain way and you want to ignore it or avoid it,
You shut down that connection with yourself and with your body.
It's the same in your relationship.
If you're not truly present in your relationship,
But instead you're in your head about what should you do,
What should you say,
Or is my partner going to leave me,
That will shut down the connection really quickly.
Continue moving right now.
Continue moving your body in whatever way is organically coming up right now.
It may not make sense.
It may not be comfortable.
It may be something you've never done before,
But that's the beauty of connection is it's spontaneous and real and it brings up very real feelings,
Sometimes more exciting and comfortable than other times.
And now staying in this movement,
Continuing to connect to your body,
I want you to picture your partner across from you.
You can choose the distance.
Maybe they're really close.
Maybe they're a little further away.
But visualize them standing across from you while you're still moving,
While you're being completely in connection with yourself in this moment and just get a sense in your imagination and in your body if this is creating a stronger connection between you and your partner right now.
What do you imagine is happening through this visualization?
You may imagine that your partner is moving right along with you,
Mirroring you,
Coming closer.
You might even imagine something like a spark or a light that is emanating between you two.
Is your connection to yourself creating more connection between you and your partner?
And if it isn't,
That's okay too through this movement experience and engaging in your imagination.
Can you see what's getting in the way?
And remember,
As you're doing this,
Continue to move,
Continue to allow organic movement to come up.
So you might notice if through this imaginary experience,
You might have stopped moving.
You might have stopped connecting to your body as soon as you pictured your partner or as soon as you visualized your partner moving closer to you.
And that might be some really important information as well.
Are you able to stay connected in your body as your partner gets close to you?
Are you able to be present and not thinking or analyzing or in your head when your partner is in the room with you?
If you continue to tune into your sensation and moving organically to it right now,
You can build the experience of continuing to stay in your body,
Continuing to stay connected to yourself and inevitably,
Eventually continuing to stay connected to your partner too.
Now however you are moving,
Whatever you are doing in this moment,
I'm going to ask you to gradually,
Slowly bring your movement to a close,
Making your movements incrementally smaller and slower,
Allowing yourself this time of transition and closure from this deep movement experience.
Eventually,
Coming to find more stillness and a pause.
Even if this feels unfinished,
Find this ending for yourself right now.
You may even choose to end in a pose that feels good for you.
And when you have found that,
Take another deep breath in and out.
Allow yourself to gradually come back to the physical space,
Opening your eyes if they aren't already,
Looking around the room,
Maybe even touching your own body to remind yourself that you are in this present moment right now.
Whatever your experience was today in this movement is valid and has such powerful meaning.
Whether you could feel more connection to yourself and your partner or not,
You can use this experience to keep growing into a deeper,
More loving,
Spontaneous connection with yourself and your partner.
You can come back to this meditation anytime you need and until next time,
You deserve to be able to let healthy,
Lasting love in.
