Hi,
This is Auric Krug,
Board-certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation to do together as a couple,
So that you can find a deeper connection with each other,
Or at least discover through your bodies what is getting in the way of having a deeper connection with each other.
You can begin this meditation by independently finding a position that feels comfortable for you.
So this means that you don't have to start in the same way as each other,
But rather I'll encourage you to tune into your own body and find what feels best for you,
Even if it's different than what your partner chooses in this moment.
You can choose to lay down,
To sit up,
Or stand up to begin this meditation.
You can now close your eyes or lower your gaze,
And we're going to take three deep breaths together.
Breathing in and breathing out.
One more time,
Breathing in and breathing out.
Keeping your eyes closed or your gaze lowered,
I'm going to ask each of you independently to imagine or visualize what it would feel like,
What it would look like to have your most fulfilling,
Deep,
Safe,
And exciting connection together.
You may imagine this by seeing an image,
A moving image of you two interacting in your mind's eye.
You may instead feel this throughout your body,
Of what it would feel like,
What sensations come up when you tune into having the most connected relationship together.
And imagine what would be different about the way you show up in your body in your relationship now that it's the most connected you've ever felt before.
How are you holding yourself in your body,
And how are you moving your body differently?
Again,
You may see this in a visualization,
Or you may just feel this coming up in sensations through your body right now.
And whatever way you're tuning into this,
I'm going to invite you to now organically invite movement into your body.
So if you imagined that you would hold your body more softly,
Then you may begin to naturally start to soften your body and move in a softened way.
That may be a sway,
That may be exploring a softer posture.
If you imagined in your most connected relationship together that you would feel more excitement,
If you saw or felt that in your body as more of an energetic buzz,
How can you start organically inviting movement into your body in response to that?
There's no right or wrong,
These are just some ideas of how you can naturally invite movement into this exploration.
And I want to encourage you to allow your body to lead you here,
Instead of your mind telling you what you should do,
How you should try to move.
Just try to let your body move you.
And maybe that looks like you repeat the same movements over and over again,
Or maybe your movements naturally evolve and shift into something different.
Again,
There is no right or wrong.
Just listen to your body and follow its lead.
How are you moving right now?
And how are you holding yourself in your body right now?
As this version of you in your most connected relationship with your partner?
It may be as simple as having more physical touch and contact with your own body,
Representing that you're more in tune with your own body in your most connected relationship with your partner.
Because remember,
This part of this meditation is just you moving independently of each other,
Not even connecting in movement yet.
So keep listening to your own body with your eyes closed or your gaze lowered.
Not worrying about what your partner is doing.
Not trying to follow them,
But truly listening to your body and following yourself.
And once you feel like you're quite connected and in tune with your own body and its needs,
I'm going to invite you to gently open your eyes only when you're ready,
Which means that you may open your eyes sooner or later than your partner does.
As you open your eyes and start to see your partner,
I want you to continue moving your body,
Continue following your body's needs,
And see if you can stay connected to your own body while starting to see and connect to your partner as well.
What is your body telling you right now?
Do you feel an impulse to move closer to your partner?
Do you feel an impulse to move away?
Do you feel an impulse to put your hand on your heart or hug yourself as you look at your partner?
Again,
There's no right or wrong.
These are just some examples of what might happen.
The main intention here is that you're staying connected to your body,
Following your body's lead with movement,
And holding the connection with your partner through eye contact,
Possibly physical contact,
And maybe not quite making physical contact,
But having some sort of dance with each other.
Not any kind of technical dance or structured movements,
But you might find that you move in closer and then you move away,
Or you might find that you circle around each other.
You might find that what naturally happens is that one of you leans into the other to receive,
And the other one gives what could look like a massage.
It could look like one of you stands there and looks at your partner while your partner moves,
And that exchange in itself feels fulfilling to you because as you're standing there connected to your body,
You can take in and enjoy the expression that your partner is doing.
There is no right or wrong here.
This is an open exploration in which we can be curious and notice what creates more connection with our partners and maybe what creates less connection.
Maybe in this moment,
One of you is wanting to move closer while the other one is wanting to move away,
So that's something you can notice too.
When are you not on the same page,
And how do you respond?
If you feel disappointed or misaligned,
Do you still stay connected to your body?
Can you still stay connected to your body?
A lot of times in relationships,
If we're misaligned or if we feel disconnected,
We might blame the other,
We might point out all the things that are wrong with our partners,
And that just makes us disconnect from our own feelings while we project externally and outwards onto our partner.
So whatever happens in this dance of yours today,
Remember to stay connected to your body,
And if you lose that at any point,
That's okay.
Whenever you notice it,
Just come back and follow your body's impulses again.
Come back to that sway or that self-touch or whatever helps you connect back in today.
As we approach the end of this meditation,
I'm going to invite you to collaboratively find an ending that feels good enough for you right now.
So how can you work together in this moment to slowly transition into an ending pose that you can sense is satisfying enough for both of you?
Take your time with this.
It may take some trial and error to figure this out.
Your ending pose could be something where you're independently posing and mirroring each other but without touching.
Your ending pose might be some kind of embrace or physical contact where you're not quite embracing but you're touching.
Every relationship is different,
And every relationship has ever-changing needs on any given day or hour or moment.
So if you find yourself judging or critiquing what you end up doing,
Try to let that go.
Now look at each other in this ending pose and take a deep breath in.
Find a way to gently come out of your pose without being too abrupt,
And give each other some kind of non-verbal signal,
Maybe a smile,
Maybe a hand gesture,
To let each other know that this feels like a good enough ending.
Once this meditation is over,
You can spend a few minutes discussing what helped you feel closer and what made you feel more disconnected and less close.
You can reflect on the movements,
And you can reflect on any particular movements that you did together or separately,
And also be transparent with each other about when you were able to stay connected to your body and when you noticed you disconnected from your body.
You can revisit this meditation anytime that you'd like to go deeper,
Perhaps find another layer of insight,
Or to just re-establish a deeper connection when things feel a little bit disconnected.
Until next time,
You deserve to be able to let healthy,
Lasting love in.
