Break Unhealthy Relationship Patterns (Healing Trauma)

Past trauma creates and perpetuates unhealthy relationship patterns that block us from healthy, lasting love. If you know what patterns you want to break, but you can't seem to stop sabotaging, this is an indication that your body is too stuck in unresolved trauma. In this movement meditation, we'll connect gently to your body to learn what you must DO differently in order to develop new relationship patterns that'll bring you closer to your partner than ever before.

Transcript

Hi,

This is Ori Krug,

Board-certified dance therapist and trauma and relationship expert.

Today,

I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation to help you break unhealthy relationship patterns.

It can be so hard to shift these lifelong patterns and behaviors that have served as coping mechanisms due to old trauma.

So whether you sabotage your relationships,

Or you often feel angry or jealous,

Or you can't seem to enjoy love without worrying about it ending,

These are all trauma patterns that protect you from getting hurt like you did in the past.

Even if you know this information,

The awareness isn't enough to change it.

So in this movement meditation,

We will engage safely with your body to get deep clarity and insight about what you need to do in order to integrate your awareness with your body's actions and behaviors.

To begin this meditation,

You can start in any position that feels comfortable for you,

Whether that's sitting down,

Lying down,

Or standing up.

And we'll take three deep breaths together.

Breathing in,

And breathing out.

Again,

Breathing in,

And breathing out.

One last time,

Breathing in,

And breathing out.

With your eyes closed or your gaze lowered,

I'm going to ask you to think about or tune in to a certain relationship pattern that you want to change the most.

Whether it's a certain behavior or way that you communicate in relationships,

Identify this one behavior that you want to change.

Even if you have multiple behaviors,

We'll just focus on one right now.

And you can focus on the first one that came up and trust that this is the pattern that came up for a reason.

So now as you think about this pattern,

As you're tuned in,

I want you to imagine or visualize yourself,

See yourself in your body,

And ask,

How would I hold myself and move in my body differently if I broke this pattern?

So if the pattern that you wanted to break was to speak more assertively instead of aggressively and explosively,

How would you see your body posture change?

How would you see your movements change in the way that you interact in your relationships?

If your pattern that you wanted to break was to be less jealous and feel more secure,

How would it look and feel like to be more secure in your body?

How would you hold yourself differently?

How would you move your body differently as simple as walking from one room to the next?

Whatever pattern you chose,

Visualize and imagine yourself having already broken that pattern and evolved into this newer healed version of yourself.

And as soon as you start to see this and feel this,

I want you to invite movement into your body,

To organically respond to this visualization with movement.

So how does your body instinctually want to move right now?

It may start subtle and slow with a sway or some self-touch.

There is no right or wrong.

The only thing that you need to do right now is just let your body move you instead of your mind moving your body based on this visualization that you're having.

Start moving this version of you that has already broken this unhealthy pattern.

And as you start to come into your body in this way,

You can allow your movements to naturally emerge or shift into other movements.

You may find that it's satisfying to just repeat the same movements over and over again.

Whatever you do is good enough.

Just allow your body to lead you instead of your mind telling you what you should do.

Now,

As you're becoming more connected to your body,

More grounded in this version of you,

We can begin to intentionally and consciously choose the way that you want to behave with your new healthier pattern.

So how does this version of you move differently now?

Do you take up more space?

Do you allow yourself to be more seen?

Do you allow your needs and your wants and your desires to be more seen?

You can explore that by literally taking up more space right now in your movement.

Moving more around your room or stretching and expanding your arms out and literally taking up more space.

If you want to explore being more assertive,

You might create more firm movements,

Movements that feel stronger,

More weight and more impactful,

Perhaps against the floor.

That might feel like a version of stomping,

But in a way that feels empowering and not explosive or out of control.

You might move direct movements out in front of you like you're slashing,

But you can do this in a gentle way,

Not an aggressive way to explore being more assertive and direct without being aggressive.

Maybe this version of you is more playful,

More spontaneous,

More fun instead of being so guarded and needing to control everything.

So how would your body move right now if you were more spontaneous?

Would you leap across the room?

Would you do a twirl?

Would you just do a random movement that you've never done before,

But you did it just because you can?

That's freedom,

Freedom to express yourself,

Freedom to be you unapologetically instead of always worrying about what your partner and others will think or judge.

How can you move that right now?

How could you literally move more freedom?

You can let go of control in your body and just let your body move you without trying to control the direction or the speed or the force and just let your body move you.

These are all suggestions of how you could consciously explore this new version of you with healthier relationship patterns.

None of them are right or wrong or better or worse,

But just options of what you could try on in your body right now and let your body confirm to you or not if this feels true to you.

You could try on some movements and feel that it feels great and you can try on some movements that don't feel so good,

That don't feel true to who you want to be and you can disregard those and try something else.

You are not trapped in any one way of moving or expressing your body.

Remember,

You are no longer trapped in your trauma and you are no longer trapped in making any certain decisions in your body right now.

I'm going to leave a minute of space for you to continue exploring this healthier,

More loving version of you and when that minute is up,

I'm going to start prompting you gently to bring your movement to a close.

Whatever you're doing right now,

However you're moving,

Start to gradually,

Slowly and incrementally bring your movements to a close.

Take your time,

Don't rush and really allow yourself this transition from movement to stillness.

You may find that you naturally end in a pose,

But it's not necessary if you don't.

Once you've found an ending that feels satisfying for you,

We'll take a deep breath in together.

Breathing in and breathing out.

You can gently open your eyes,

Look around your space and make physical contact with your body to let yourself know that you are right here,

Right now,

In this present moment.

Take a moment to reflect on what you needed to do with your body in order to get closer to this version of yourself that has already broken your unhealthy relationship pattern.

It may have been a certain way that you were moving,

Maybe slowly,

Maybe taking up more space,

Maybe more firmly or something else.

Maybe it was simply the fact that you stayed connected with your body and gave yourself permission to express yourself freely instead of constantly holding back.

If you need extra guidance in understanding this experience,

You can join my insight timer circle called Women Healing Trauma and I'll be happy to help you out.

Until next time,

You deserve to be able to let healthy,

Lasting love in.

Reviews

Thank you

I feel more confident. I feel I have broken the pattern. I will return to this practice.

I was surprised by how much this meditation & movement guidance changed the way I felt. Thank you!

Hello beautiful 🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺Thank you so much for the wonderful meditation 🦋like a butterfly I was flying from one wonderful flower to next leaving the dark shadows behind 🦋🌸🌷have a blessed day 🙏Namaste

Thank you for helping me to reassure myself, care, nurture and show how I look after myself. By turning up and showing myself how I care for my body and how I love it ☺️✨🙏💖