Hello and welcome to another yummy chocolate chunk of NLP.
My name is Jackie Wright,
I'm also known as The Cockney Coach and I'd like to talk to you about some of the things that I find NLP useful for.
Now over the years I've been able to use my NLP training and skills to make changes to the way that I think and behave and that's really helped me.
It's been very useful for me in the world of work and NLP not only gives me a shed load of useful beliefs but also some very practical tools.
So I'd like to share one of those with you now as it certainly contributed to my success.
Now we often meet people at work that we make judgments about based on their behaviour.
So many years ago I got to thinking about whether or not it's useful to label behaviour and make judgments about what that behaviour means.
It can be a huge frustration in the world of work to see for example someone on making the effort that you expect and then it's really easy to label that behaviour as lazy.
Or what about when you see someone always volunteering to do stuff for the boss?
It's easy to label them as got to be a brown nose or looking for favours.
Or what about the person who always finds fault with the work?
A nitpicker who obviously doesn't trust you.
Yeah that must be it.
We can all too easily spot the things that help us make those negative judgments about others motives and before we know it they have been tarred with that brush for the rest of their working relationship with us and that will inevitably colour our viewers to their capability and usefulness.
All because of a huge generalisation based on what may be just a snap judgment.
And that's where my question comes in.
Is this really useful in the world of work?
Is it useful to label someone with a negative label?
Which means that you don't make use of them as a resource.
Is it really useful to limit the input of a member of the team based on huge generalisation of their capability or motives?
The answer is actually a big fact no.
So this is the tool I use when I see behaviour that can lead me to create a negative label.
And of course this doesn't just work in the world of work.
It can be used in any situation where you're coming across the behaviour of somebody that can lead you to create a negative label.
So I asked myself this question.
What else could this behaviour mean?
For example I have often worked with people who have a role in the risk department of a business.
The risk community,
And this is a massively huge generalisation,
So apologies to all my friends in risk.
They have a reputation for being picky,
Ready to say what can't be done and act overcautious.
It's easy to label this behaviour as obstructive and as a result it's equally easy to avoid fully engaging with them,
Which is not at all useful.
So how does finding other reasons for their behaviour make a difference?
Let's just think of some of those reasons and see what happens.
Well it could be that they have an eye for detail and are very good at spotting where things may cause a problem.
Now that is a useful behaviour.
Or they know all about what it takes to make a process safe,
Such as making sure that all possibilities are considered.
Now that is a very useful behaviour.
Suddenly that pickiness is actually what I want them to be.
Now I actually want to engage with that person because I need someone who will make sure my work is safe for the business.
Why wouldn't I?
There is one game that I play for fun and it's the lazy label.
It's so easy to leave someone labelled as lazy out of the picture when looking for work to be done.
After all,
You do want it done don't you?
But what if the behaviour actually meant that they were a great delegator?
I might be able to learn something from them about how to do that because delegating is a very useful behaviour.
Or even that they were providing opportunities for others to develop by delegating.
Okay,
This may not be the reality but I certainly feel better about that person when I see their behaviour and give it a more useful label,
Which in turn helps me to survive the world of work and reduce my levels of frustration.
So when you come across the opportunity to label some behaviour and you find that label is a negative one,
Give some thought to finding how that behaviour is actually useful and reap the rewards of the new and more useful relationship.
So thank you for joining me in listening to this NLP chocolate chunk.
They're always so yummy and useful and as always,
Much love.
