A meditation on loving kindness,
Metta bhavana.
This meditation comes from the Buddhist tradition and was inspired by the teachings of the Insight Meditation Society,
But it can be adapted and practiced by anyone who wants to find a way to be more accepting of and kinder to themselves,
And ultimately others.
I encourage many of my coaching clients to try this on.
The seemingly simple process of directing compassion to yourself,
Wishing yourself well,
Can loosen years of damage and negativity caused by the voice of your internal saptar,
And spending some energy establishing feelings of kindness and acceptance for everyone.
Not just your nearest and dearest,
Although this can be a profound change as well,
Begins to open up the possibilities for a life based less on strife or competition and more on the peaceful understanding that we have much more in common with others than not.
The process is first one of softening,
Breaking down barriers that we feel inwardly towards loving ourselves,
And then those that we feel toward others.
We practice an opening to deeper and deeper levels of the feelings of kindness,
Of pure love.
Loving kindness is without any desire to possess another.
These prayers or wishes for well-being have no conditions.
They don't depend upon whether someone deserves it or not.
We're simply expressing feelings of compassion,
Tenderness,
And loving kindness for ourselves and those around us without limit.
Fairly quickly,
You may find that this becomes very easy to do in a genuine,
Heartfelt way.
Shortly after beginning the process of saying the phrases,
The words themselves become a sort of mantra that begins to generate the feelings.
Neuroscience describes this leap of faith as,
Fake it till you become it,
And you will.
Often meditators new to this practice are astonished at how deeply they experience the warmth of the meditation when they direct it to themselves.
Someone described it as feeling as though they were a plant being watered with soft,
Warm rain until every empty,
Dry spot in their heart was filled.
As your heart is watered with this infusion of love,
You'll become more able to honestly send those intentions out to the world.
Taking the time to express and wish all good things to even those you don't care for begins to open you to the awareness of how like we are.
All mankind desires to be free from pain,
To know happiness.
We are one.
There's peace in knowing this truth.
So let's begin.
Take a very comfortable posture.
One of the aims in this meditation is to feel good.
So make your posture relaxed and comfortable.
Begin to focus around your chest area,
Your heart center.
Breathe in and out from that area,
Visualizing your in and out breath coming from the heart center as if all experience is happening from here.
Anchor your awareness only on the sensations at your heart center.
Breathing in and out from the heart center,
Begin by generating a kind feeling toward yourself.
And notice if there are any areas of hesitation or numbness,
Self judgment or criticism.
Just notice.
Then drop beneath that to the deeper,
Simpler place where you can have compassion for yourself,
Where you know you deserve happiness and health and safety.
As you continue to breathe in and out from your heart center,
Say or think the following phrases several times or even dozens of times.
As your practice develops,
You can use either these traditional phrases or ones you choose for yourself.
When your mind feels calm and focused,
Begin by directing these phrases of compassion towards yourself.
Repeat after me,
Silently or aloud.
May I be filled with happiness and the causes of happiness.
May I be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May I be protected.
May I live in equanimity,
Free from attachment and aversion.
May I be free from pain and the causes of pain.
Repeat these phrases until you feel full.
Let your words develop a rhythm like a chant.
May I be filled with happiness and the causes of happiness.
May I be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May I be protected.
May I live in equanimity,
Free from attachment and aversion.
May I be free from pain and the causes of pain.
May I be filled with happiness and the causes of happiness.
May I be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May I be protected.
May I live in equanimity,
Free from attachment and aversion.
May I be free from pain and the causes of pain.
And continue to repeat these wishes or phrases for as long as you like to the meditative music that will follow.
Over time,
As you feel yourself warmed and then filled by these wishes or energies,
Which may take you five sitting sessions or 25,
You can begin to direct this loving kindness outward.
Now continue with directing these wishes towards yourself for as long as you wish.
