Hello and welcome.
Today I'd like to share a bite-sized reflection of some practical wisdom with a sort of a hashtag holding accountable.
So this phrase I think can be read in two different ways.
In a way that is triggering,
Maybe triggering some confrontation or conflict,
Inner conflict,
Outer conflict,
And in a more loving way.
So the situation when we hold someone or ourselves accountable can arise,
For example,
When we set some goals to ourselves,
Maybe in self-improvement,
Some sportive targets,
Some diet targets,
And then we maybe want to monitor our process or we want to push ourselves for the real progress there.
And it has happened to me recently that I've been observing some of my progress in some goals that I've set to myself and I have been faced with the question,
Is it a loving action for me to kind of push myself and strive for the discipline?
Or maybe if it's not flowing by itself,
Maybe it's like misaligned.
And then the same situation may arise when we are facing our colleague or our partner with some practical question.
For example,
At work it can be a delivery of some piece of work in the agreed timeline that someone maybe is failing to do.
And at home it can be something as prosaic as just,
I don't know,
Keeping the kitchen clean,
Washing the dishes.
And all of these instances,
They have this motive of holding someone or ourselves accountable to something that the other side has committed to,
Or we ourselves have committed to.
And this act often causes a confrontation that I want something from you,
You are not delivering it,
And this is my complaint to you.
And we can do it with ourselves as well.
And I'm offering here a perspective that is maybe more loving.
So this phrase itself,
It offers the possibility of a very loving action of holding,
Holding accountable in a sense of providing a container for someone to self-reflect and providing presence for them to be with them on their journey.
So in this scenario,
There is someone who is in the energy of kind of mature person,
And someone else who is in the energy,
Maybe not at their top energy right now,
Because mostly when we are not keeping our word,
When we are not delivering something that we've promised to someone else or others or ourselves,
It's because we just don't have resource,
We are not in our top energy.
So we can benefit from someone holding the space for us,
The space of supportive accountability,
And maybe brainstorming on the ways to improve the situation,
But maybe just even observing this with this loving awareness as like,
Hey,
I see you haven't had resource to wash the dishes and just leaving the space for it.
And this is such an art to just leave this blank space there,
Not to fill it with some,
Hey,
It's okay,
Or hey,
It's happening again,
Why?
Yeah,
Just know,
I see that you haven't washed the dishes,
And there is inevitable something,
Some reason that will come up from that other person,
And you should be prepared that it may be like protest,
Defensive reaction,
But when you keep the energy of just holding this container with a loving awareness that inside you know it is okay that they haven't done this,
It is okay for yourself if you haven't,
I don't know,
Run like five kilometers or whatever you have promised to yourself,
And if you have again eaten chocolate before sleep or something,
So you're just saying to yourself,
Hey,
I see that you have eaten the chocolate before sleep,
And you pause and you hold this container,
Not with scorning,
Not with complaint,
It's not an aggressive action,
No pushing,
Just holding,
Anything that will come up to be resolved.
Yeah,
So this is just a little bit of practical wisdom to go on with,
And I will hear you,
Or you will hear me next time,
Until then,
Be well.
