Hello everyone,
Nancy here from Nancy Inspired and I have a little meditation for those of us who struggle with not trying to jump in and fix someone's problems.
I know for myself when someone that I love is struggling,
I right away want to fix problems and try and solve it and my boundaries can get mixed up and then sometimes I build resentments because I've helped someone and then by saying yes to them I've said no to myself.
So this is a little meditation,
A little poem,
A little mantra for us to help stay out of other people's problems and allow them to solve them.
One of my very favorite stories is about a butterfly.
A man sees chrysalis and as the chrysalis is starting to move and he can see the butterfly wanting to be released,
He's watching and it's taking a long time and the butterfly seems to be struggling and in trying to help he takes a little small pair of scissors and cuts the chrysalis a little bit and of course the butterfly pops right out but because the butterfly wasn't allowed to struggle his wings were crippled and he wasn't able to fly and so by the man trying to help in essence he crippled this butterfly.
There's a difference between helping and enabling and I know that that is something that I've struggled with myself because as a helper we want to fix things,
We want to make things better.
However,
Sometimes it's that very struggle that needs to happen for someone to be able to grow and so by taking away that struggle we're not actually allowing them to grow.
So this is a little meditation and a little poem,
A mantra to help us to let go of the need to fix and solve other people's problems.
So I'm going to invite you just to stop for a moment,
Take some deep breaths and as we breathe in just hold for a moment at the top and then let it go.
Take a few more breaths and as you take those breaths imagine a bubble of protection forming around you.
With every breath you create a boundary,
The wall of the bubble and this wall is semi-permeable that allows in love and compassion,
Allows love and compassion to flow out but it keeps out all feelings of stress and anxiety and pushing on boundaries.
It keeps out the need to try to fix and within the bubble is a space of inner calm and inner peace.
Breathe in again and allow this bubble to form,
Light and love and compassion can flow through this bubble however boundaries are maintained.
Take a few more breaths to allow this boundary bubble to form.
Now while you are inside this bubble of boundaries and light and love and protection,
Pay attention where is it in your body,
Where is the need to fix,
Where is the need to solve other people's problems,
To own other people's problems,
Where is that housed in your body?
Is it in your shoulders,
Is it in your hands,
Is it in your solar plexus?
Where is it housed?
And as you feel where this connection to needing to solve other people's problems,
As you connect to this space that is held within you,
On your next exhale invite it to leave your bubble.
Visualize it moving out of your body and through that membrane of your bubble so it can go out but it can't come back in.
Become aware of where that need to fix and take care of and solve other people's problems,
Where is that housed in your body?
And as you breathe in,
Breathe it out and allow it to leave your bubble.
It doesn't serve you,
It doesn't serve them.
As you breathe out the need to solve other people's problems,
You allow in trust,
Trust in their capability to solve their problems,
To trust that they have come here to learn and grow and that their journey is part of learning to solve these problems,
To sometimes hit those hard times to allow them to grow and trust in their capability.
So the love and light and compassion that is allowed to flow out of your bubble is that compassion and trust in their capabilities to solve their problems and we're letting go of the need to be validated by solving their problems.
We're letting go of the need to feel responsible to solve their problems and we're inviting in compassion and trust in their capabilities.
Now I'm going to invite you to repeat a mantra that I've created.
It'll allow you when you're in the moment and you're feeling the desire to help and jump in and compromise your boundaries to help someone else,
A little mantra you can say,
It's not my problem,
Let it go.
I choose my path and let it flow.
I find my peace within each breath.
It's not my job to ease their stress.
It's not my problem,
I let it go.
I choose my path and let it flow.
I find my peace within each breath.
It's not my job to ease their stress.
It's not my problem,
I let it go.
I choose my path and let it flow.
I find my peace within each breath.
It's not my job to ease their stress.
One more breath.
Hold on to this visual of this bubble that allows compassion and light to flow through but allows you to maintain healthy boundaries and not needing to solve the problems of others.
Thank you for joining me and I wish you luck and bravery and courage when you need to set boundaries and not compromise your own by jumping in to solve the problems of others.
