Your Healing Comes First

In this podcast episode, we discuss our priorities. What do you prioritise in your life? Is that what you really want to prioritise? Looking at what you're putting first in your life reveals so much about what you value - hint: it's not usually yourself. Let's reframe that together!

Transcript

This program was produced by and first broadcast on Radio Hawke's Bay,

A community access media station.

Thank you to New Zealand on Air for making this type of programming possible.

Well,

Hello,

Everyone,

And welcome to It's a Funny Thing with Celine.

I am Celine,

And I am so happy that you're joining me today.

So welcome to you,

Whether you're listening to this on the radio,

Or whether you're listening to this on the internet as well.

I'm really happy that you have found me and found the community of people who are seeking the truth and seeking to make happier and healthier choices for themselves and their communities.

So if you don't know me,

My name is Celine,

And I have spent the past 10 years observing people.

I have spent the past 10 years listening to people,

Their stories,

Their victories,

Their obstacles,

Their challenges,

The way that they have healed and supported the people around them,

And also the ways in which they have hurt the people around them.

I have observed the ways of communicating,

You know,

With partners,

I have observed the way we communicate with our workplace.

I have observed the way that we,

You know,

Look at money and deal with money.

And the ways we look at our dreams and making our dreams come true.

And for the past 10 years,

I have really listened and really thought about what it takes for a person to truly and really change.

Is it money?

Is it the ability to be able to spend and invest in yourself?

Is it character?

You know,

Does it really,

Truly take a strong person,

A determined person to change?

What about the rest of us?

Is it upbringing?

Is it,

You know,

A level of growth as a soul?

What is it about a person that makes it truly possible to change and truly change in a way that,

You know,

We can achieve the success that we want for ourselves and the world around us in a truly easy and effortless way?

Now,

We are bombarded by social media and people making six,

Seven,

Eight figures easily and effortlessly,

You know,

Living on remote islands,

You know,

Doing the computer,

You know,

Working remotely sort of thing.

And,

You know,

We are bombarded by people wearing bikinis,

Having a dream life and traveling.

And then there is,

You know,

The rest of us that is working eight hour days,

Five days a week,

Sometimes six days a week.

And,

You know,

And we're not managing to just cook for ourselves.

We're not managing to get in the time for meditation or exercise that we want.

You know,

We're not managing to get the bodies that we want or the mind,

The level of,

You know,

A level of healthy mind,

If you will,

That we want.

So what is it?

So in this episode,

I want to share with you the four really valuable lessons that I have learned in my journey and what it has really taken for me to change my life.

Okay.

So,

Yeah,

Welcome.

If this is your first episode with me,

You're always welcome to tune into the previous episodes.

And I was just chatting with a client and friend of mine that has been with me for a very long time.

And she's seen me evolve in my business over the past maybe seven or eight years now.

When I,

I mean,

The first thing that I used to do is do Reiki,

So energy healing with people.

And she did some Reiki training with me.

And later on,

She's,

You know,

She took more classes and more workshops with me over the years.

And we're now friends.

And she was saying that she was sorting through her emails and she was going through old emails that I had sent,

You know,

As part of my newsletter sort of thing.

And she said,

Yeah,

I never really truly understood how much time you actually put in building your business,

Celine,

And how much it actually took for you to build your business.

And I thought,

Yeah,

You know,

Something that's taken you,

You know,

Two minutes to read.

And sometimes you don't read it because you don't have the time.

You know,

It's taken me 40 minutes to write and sometimes less than that.

And sometimes more than that,

For sure.

But yeah,

So interesting that she's been with me for all these years.

And you know,

What a journey,

What a journey.

Okay,

So the first lesson that has truly changed everything for me,

And that really created a shift in my mind at the time,

And that keeps on sort of,

It keeps on shaking me out of inertia,

I think is the word,

I think is the expression,

Is the fact that no one is going to save you.

No one is going to save you.

Now we all have beliefs that,

And especially women,

You know,

We have beliefs that men are here to save us.

And we throw ourselves in relationships that are not in our highest and best because we expect men to save us.

Now,

Men,

If you're listening to this,

I'm not sure what your beliefs are going to be.

It's going to be individual for everyone.

It's going to be unique for everyone listening to this.

But we all have beliefs that say,

I am a victim in my world,

In my life,

In my reality,

And I am waiting for someone to save me.

Now it could be,

You know,

From a relationship or in a relationship.

As I mentioned just now,

We also have strange beliefs around God and the universe around us.

Even if you don't,

You know,

See yourself as a spiritual or religious person,

You certainly have beliefs around the world around you and how the world around you should interact with you.

Now,

I remember back in the day,

And still today,

I had and have beliefs that say,

You know,

God should save me.

And sometimes I pray when things are dire.

And when I am in a difficult situation,

I'm not too sure how to extricate myself out of that situation.

I pray.

Who else does this?

Yeah,

Yeah,

I'm sure that you do too.

You know,

We pray when we don't know how to get ourselves out of a situation where it's too hard for us.

And we don't know how to get out of a certain mindset.

And we just we just run out of solutions.

And so we forget that we are powerful.

And we turn outside of ourselves.

And we look for solutions outside of ourselves.

And social media makes victims out of us as well.

Like who else is you know,

Spending,

I mean,

Spending hours and hours scrolling on social media looking for,

You know,

The latest way to make 100k in a day or six days or a month or whatever,

Without any effort,

Of course,

You know,

So how in your life are you a victim?

You know,

Where in your life are you?

What is my question?

So when your life?

Are you denying your responsibility to change or your ability to change?

So where are you putting someone else or something else in charge of your life?

Does that make sense?

So it could be that,

You know,

Perhaps you really want to release weight.

And you know that it's the,

You know,

It's what you need to do in order to move forward in your life.

And you know,

We accept everyone and everyone that no matter where they're at in their lives,

And there's no right or wrong way to live your life.

But maybe you know in your soul that this is this is what you want.

And that when you look at yourself in the mirror,

You just don't recognize the person in front of you.

And it doesn't feel like this is who you want to be.

And so you look for ways to release weight.

And wait a minute,

There is so many diets out there on the internet.

And so much money that can be made from diet books.

And you know,

There's so many courses out there to help you to release weight.

And you fall for the latest thing.

And we know that there are dangerous diets out there.

We know that there are,

You know,

Things that we do because we are desperate.

And we,

You know,

Put our fate in the hands of the latest diet experts out there,

The latest fitness experts,

With the latest trends,

Right?

Coconut oil,

I don't know,

Green juices,

When that was the thing.

I don't know what the thing is now.

I don't really pay attention to the latest diet trends myself.

But yeah.

So my question to you is,

Well,

Where do you actually release responsibility for yourself?

And where and how do you place your life in the hands of someone else who doesn't know you?

Now,

You know,

You could be spending,

You know,

Millions,

Maybe not millions of dollars,

But you know,

Hundreds or thousands of dollars on self development.

And instead of,

You know,

Well,

That can be a good thing,

Right?

Everything can be a good thing.

It depends on how you're using it.

But you could be actually placing your healing in the hands of somebody else.

And you're waiting for them to tell you how to change because you don't know.

Now,

I do believe in being accompanied by someone who has,

You know,

Walked the path that you are walking and knows what they're doing and has helped people like you and people that you can trust and that and you can feel when you can trust somebody,

Right?

You know,

When it feels right,

And you know,

When it feels wrong,

You should feel empowered and at peace and abundant when you are accompanied by someone.

You know,

And I have been,

I have worked with coaches,

Healers,

Counselors,

Therapists of any and every kind,

Because I wanted something from them.

But it wasn't always in the highest and best way.

It wasn't always because I felt that they could help me.

It was because sometimes because I was desperate and didn't know where else to go.

And the answer was never in the hands of somebody else.

It was always,

Well,

What about my wisdom?

What about what I know inside of myself?

And so the most powerful coaches and healers and teachers that I've worked with have actually taught me to look inside of myself and to trust what I saw inside of my heart and have taught me to really be truly me.

It should be that sort of experience.

So are you getting that?

Are you getting that?

So that was number one.

Let's go on to number two,

But I forgot what it was.

Let me just have a look at my list.

Okay.

So the second thing is that your healing comes first.

And I truly believe that we have distractions of any and every kind out there.

And this is a point,

A stage in my self-development that I come back to again and again and again.

And for me,

I'm highly organized and I like things to look a certain way in my home,

For example.

And I was having this argument with my husband the other day.

And I was arguing and I was shouting and I was screaming because I felt disrespected by him.

And I felt that he took advantage of me and he was disrespecting me because basically he was letting me do all of the chores around the house.

And I was feeling exhausted and resentful.

As a result,

Do you feel the same way?

I'm sure that many of us who are listening to this are feeling the same way,

Unfortunately.

And it is a disagreement that we have in all relationships.

I mean,

If you live with somebody,

You're going to have that sort of disagreement with them,

Unless you're enlightened.

And in this case,

You probably don't need to listen to this.

But if you're not quite enlightened just yet,

Then keep listening and I'll share with you my solution.

So I was screaming and yelling and I was crying and I was exhausted.

And he said something to me.

He said,

But Celine,

You're not valuing your time.

You're not valuing your energy.

You're doing all of these things that you're exhausted and you're never getting ahead and you're not valuing your time.

And you're always stressing around,

Doing this,

Doing that,

And feeling kind of proud of yourself when you've achieved something that you wanted to achieve for a long time.

But it's never quite enough,

Is it?

You're not valuing your time and your energy.

And I stopped dead in my tracks and I thought about it and I spent the next two days looking at this and I realized,

Yeah,

I'm actually not valuing my time and my energy enough to do what I want to do.

So the yoga every day,

The meditation twice a day,

The cooking fresh meals for myself and my family every day,

The working when I feel like working,

Resting when I feel like resting,

Doing chores only when I feel like doing them.

I'm not doing that because I'm always running around like a headless chicken trying to catch up with the latest thing that I think is super urgent and super important.

Otherwise,

People are going to judge us when they're coming to visit us.

And yeah,

So something that I come back to again and again and again is my energy comes first.

My healing comes first.

My thoughts come first.

My emotions come first.

And this is not an excuse for you to be selfish.

This is not an excuse for you to stop listening to others and stop listening to their point of view by saying,

Oh,

My energy comes first.

So I have outgrown our relationship.

So I'm going to break up with you and look for my highest and best soulmate now because you're not as dedicated to healing as I am.

This is not an excuse for you to be selfish.

Don't fall into that trap.

This is not a good look on you.

I see this way too often in spiritual people.

And really,

It's an ugly,

Ugly mindset.

And you're just using your selfishness as an excuse or your spirituality as an excuse actually for your selfishness.

So don't do that.

Don't do that.

It's really ugly.

And it's not the highest and best mindset for you to adopt.

But one thing that I have learned and one thing that I'm pushing myself to learn again and again and again is that I will not do anything if I'm stressed about it.

I am learning now to stop myself when I start falling into a cycle of stress or resentment or fear.

I'm learning to recognize when I'm doing things because I feel stressed or because I feel afraid.

So for example,

Now in my current job,

I can choose my own schedule.

And you know,

This is giving me a lot of freedom.

But I'm also working when I feel that my boss wants me to work because she is stressed about hitting targets when others have not been hitting their targets in my team.

She goes to me and she says,

Celine,

Can you increase your target by this,

This and that?

And can you go to work because others haven't been doing their work and I need to be able to count on you.

And so she's putting pressure on me.

And so instead of saying,

Hey,

I've already been,

You know,

I've already hit my target.

It's not my responsibility to uplift everyone in the team week after week after week.

And actually today I'm taking the day off.

And I also found that when I do take some time off to rest,

Because obviously I'm a human being and you know,

Everything is a cycle of activity and rest,

Activity and rest.

I'm actually feeling really guilty about it.

And so one thing that I have learned is that my energy comes first.

And what I mean by that is that I will sit myself down and I will look at reasons why I feel afraid or why I feel like a victim or why I feel hurt.

And I will look at it and I will heal it.

Now,

Many of us have learned to ignore those signals so that we can keep going because we need to make more money because there is,

There is,

You know,

Work to be done.

There is jobs to be done around the house because our children take precedence or take priority or our partner takes priority over us or our family,

Our aging parents take priority over us.

You know,

Watching a movie on Netflix takes priority over,

Sorry,

Our mental health.

So that's the lesson number two,

Your energy is the most important thing for you.

Healing comes first.

Your mindset comes first.

If you value that above everything else,

Your life is going to change really quickly.

But you have to say,

You have to decide for yourself that your energy comes first.

And remember,

It's not an excuse for selfishness.

Recognize the signs of selfishness.

It is about taking the time to heal yourself so that you can be a better person for yourself,

Your family,

And your community around you.

All right,

Let me have a look at number three.

I forgot it again.

Actually,

I've covered it already.

So the point three was energy is everything.

Oh,

Actually,

No,

I haven't really covered it.

So let's talk about it now.

So energy is everything.

So have you ever observed,

Like imagine that you wake up in the morning and you feel great about life.

And,

You know,

Everything just somehow works out in the highest and best way perfectly.

And you're always at the perfect place in the perfect time.

And people are kind to you,

And you get a free coffee.

And then,

You know,

This happens,

And you get a gift from a friend,

Or you get a message from somebody or something,

Or you get an amazing email from your boss that compliments you.

And you have this amazing day.

And you don't really quite know how,

But you know that you feel amazing.

And somehow the world is responding to your energy.

Now,

The same thing happens,

You know,

You wake up in the morning,

And you feel really grumpy.

And everything and you stub your toe against your bed frame or your bed base or whatever.

And your partner didn't leave you enough,

You know,

Hot water in the hot water cylinder,

And you end up having this lukewarm slash cold water,

A shower,

Sorry.

And,

Um,

And you realize that you're running out of fuel,

And you have to,

You know,

Get some fuel before,

You know,

Dropping the kids off to school and going to work,

Etc,

Etc,

Etc.

The day turns to custard.

And there's something in the back of your mind that says,

Wait a minute.

I think it might have to do with my thoughts today.

Isn't that interesting?

Isn't that interesting?

So energy is everything.

The way that you think about yourself,

About others,

About your marriage,

About your family,

About work,

About money,

About the world around you.

The way that you think and feel about yourself and the world is everything.

And it determines the way reality reacts to you.

Basically,

The world reacts to your energy.

And the more you're aware of your energy,

And the more you're able to shift your mind and your thoughts and your emotions,

And the quicker you can do that,

The more the world will react to you in the way that you want.

This is not about manipulating people around you.

This is not about always getting what you want at the expense of the world of the environment of your family.

This is again not about being selfish.

It's about realizing that by healing your hurts and your triggers and your traumas,

And the things inside of you that make you feel broken.

It's by healing that,

That you can shift the world around you.

Now,

Of course,

It is easier said than done,

Perhaps.

And it's always good to be accompanied by someone who knows what they're doing,

And somebody that you can trust and that you can feel empowered by,

As I mentioned before.

But pillar number three is energy is everything.

And I had a conversation recently with someone who is just starting to step into the world of work,

And who is looking for his first job.

And I was guiding him through his job application.

And I was telling him,

Your employer,

Potential employer doesn't need to know that you are the person for the job.

This is your first job.

You have no real world experience.

You've been studying all these years.

They know for sure that you're not the only person for this job.

There are thousands people,

Thousand people that can do this job as well as you can.

What they need to know is that they can work with you,

And that they can train you,

And that you have enough starting knowledge,

So that you can not feel super overwhelmed by the job.

And he said,

No,

Celine,

They need to know that I am the person for the job.

And in my field,

They don't need to know that I'm a nice person,

Or that I'm a team player,

Whatever.

They need to know that I am the best in the field.

And I'm like,

Wow,

You're going to be hit in the face really fast,

Really soon,

Because nobody wants to know it all.

If you think that the world is about anything other than relationships,

You are wrong.

This is what this life is all about.

This is the reason why you came into this world,

So that you can heal yourself and help others to heal around you,

So that you can create harmonious,

Lovely,

Joyful,

Abundant relationships,

So that you can realize that you have the power to heal and change everything about your life.

This is what it's all about,

Nothing else.

Truly,

That was pillar number three,

Energy is everything.

Oh,

And I know what pillar number four is,

And we only have a few minutes to cover it,

Perfect timing.

So pillar number four,

And I'm going to leave you with this thought is,

How can you serve the world and the world around you?

You know,

We all want more money,

We want more time,

We want more abundance,

We want more freedom.

But ultimately,

What is that all of that freedom and all of that spare time and all of that money going to do for you?

If you acquire it,

If you acquire all of that in a way that is true to you,

True to your purpose,

True to your identity,

True to what you're here to do in this world,

Then once you achieve those things,

And of course,

It's an ongoing journey,

But as you achieve these things,

You will realize that you're so content and so fulfilled that this journey was never just about you and what you can achieve in this life and in this world.

It was always about how you can give back to the world and the community around you.

We're all very selfish.

We all want more,

But nobody wants to give back.

We all want to use more resources.

We all want to have the latest iPhone thing.

But nobody wants to think about how it was created.

We all want to have delicious meals,

But nobody wants to think about how that meat was produced in what conditions.

What impact does it have for the environment?

And I'm not against or for any kind of diet.

I'm saying,

What choices are you making that actually have a negative impact around you?

And the easiest way to know this or to realize this is,

Well,

How are your hurts or your childhood traumas hurting the people around you?

And notice the relationships that you have with your family.

Notice how people react to you.

Notice how they try to perhaps,

You know,

Calm you down or comfort you,

Or they're just,

You know,

What's the word?

They're just sort of dealing with your hurts,

But you're not really acknowledging the people around you or you're just,

You know,

Sort of,

I'm not even really sure how to say this and only have 40 seconds to say it.

Oh God.

My point is that your hurts are hurting the people around you,

Not just yourself.

And so when you heal yourself,

You can heal the world around you,

But it always starts with yourself.

That's what I wanted to say.

It always starts with yourself.

So we come back to point number one,

Right?

It all starts with yourself.

It all starts with yourself because no one's going to save you.

So I want to leave you with this question.

How can I serve the world and my community in the way that truly fulfills me?

That's what I'm going to leave you with.

Okay.

I had so much more to share with you and I'm sure we'll talk even more about life and love and fulfillment and money and everything in between in our next episode.

I'm sending you so much love and I'll speak to you very soon.

Bye.