Regaining Control Through Choice And Grace

In this podcast episode, Celine talks about how to gain conscious control of your subconscious thoughts and emotions through a simple exercise, which will also enable you to create new habits to foster success and happiness.

Transcript

This program was produced by and first broadcast on Radio Hawke's Bay,

Your community access media station.

Thanks to New Zealand On Air for making this type of programming possible.

Well,

Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of It's a Funny Thing with Celine.

I am Celine and I am so happy that you are here.

So welcome to you.

Welcome to this episode.

So if it's the first time that you are joining us,

A very warm welcome to you.

We gather and we talk about the things that are important to us.

We talk about,

You know,

The things that are important that yet,

You know,

Get passed by because there are so many things that take priority in our lives.

The kids and making food and trying to vacuum and trying to drink enough water during the day and get about our work and do the things that we want to do that are going to get us to move forward in our lives as well.

And yet there are things that are more important than all of these things,

Right?

Like being happy,

Enjoying the sunshine,

Growing flowers in the garden,

Laughing with your partner,

You know,

Experiencing joy and peace in every moment.

I sort of feel that this gets postponed more and more and more every day,

The older that you get,

The faster that life becomes,

The more you seem to live in a life,

The more that we seem to live in a life that's just automatic and unconscious.

And you wake up one day and you've lost 10 years doing this,

That or the other.

And it just sort of all sort of seemed to have happened in a blur.

I've been really frustrated lately with people who are really busy and it is a common trigger for me.

I don't know about you,

But I find myself really frustrated with people who are busy and who do not make the time to see me or message me or spend time with me.

Of course,

Talking about friends and yeah.

Um,

Lately I've been sort of observing that trigger and,

And,

And sort of looking at why it's bothering me so much when it's obviously somebody else's reality.

But,

Um,

This is the topic for us today,

Actually.

Um,

I want us to look at why we live our lives in,

Um,

In a stressed way.

I want us to look at the desires that we have that bring us suffering because they seem to be so far away from us.

And I want to look at,

Um,

Where these desires actually come from.

And I want to look as well at,

Um,

The opportunities that we have in every moment to really live life to the fullest.

And I know it's something that we say,

But I really do mean it.

You know,

There is an opportunity at every moment to make the most and to find,

Um,

To find the beauty in everything,

To find the joy in everything.

And,

Um,

Let's have a look at how we can see the beauty and see every opportunity for what it is.

So quite a big,

Quite a big agenda for a 25 minute podcast episode,

But we can do it.

Um,

And even if we don't answer every question,

This is of course your opportunity to have a look at these questions,

Um,

By yourself to just hold them to your heart for the next few days and,

And think about what is true for you,

What is real for you.

So welcome.

So when I asked about the topic that we should discuss today,

Because yeah,

I do,

I do ask for the highest and best topic for us would be,

And I don't pull this out of my own butt.

Um,

And it's,

You know,

Some,

It's usually a topic that I need to learn about as well.

So we're all learning and working together.

So when I asked about a topic that we should discuss today,

I saw very clearly that each and every one of us to a certain extent gets pulled in different directions.

We are distracted by the demands of our day,

The demands of our children,

The demands of the jobs that we need to do,

The demands of our desires as well.

You know,

We get pulled in different directions depending on what we see on social media.

You know,

This person has this,

Or this person had that for dinner,

Or this person has gone there for their holiday.

And I,

You know,

That person has done exercising for,

You know,

A day,

Every day for,

For,

You know,

Every day for the past,

You know,

30 days.

And this is a transformation that has,

That they have experienced.

And I want this suddenly,

This is a desire that I have.

And we see,

You know,

Um,

Uh,

People,

You know,

Boasting about the income as well on social media.

And that can be really destructive to our ego and to our sense of self-confidence as well.

Um,

So we get pulled in different directions and I would like you to actually take a moment to think about the desires that you have or the demands that are placed upon you.

And think about how you really do get pulled.

You know,

You can imagine or feel,

You know,

Strings,

You know,

Tied around,

You know,

This finger and that finger and this leg and that leg and see how you really truly don't belong to yourself.

At the moment we can change it.

I promise.

And I think for women or for myself particularly,

Um,

Jobs and chores really do get priority in my days.

You know,

I organize my days depending on what job needs to be done.

It's quite sad,

Really,

You know,

The vacuuming,

The cooking,

Healthy meals,

The,

You know,

The picking up the socks of your husband.

The other day I was preparing a lot of washing.

And,

Um,

And I go through the house and I look at everything that I think needs to be washed and I,

Um,

Get on my hands and knees and because I see these socks and then I get on my hands and knees and I see that my husband has actually built up a little mound of socks under the bed.

And it was like eight,

10 socks that were just waiting there under the bed that I hadn't noticed before.

Why?

Why?

So if you've been in my world for a while,

You will know that I always say that the first step is to always be present with what is going around you and inside of you to take a moment to,

Instead of,

You know,

Me yelling at my husband or sending him a very peppery text about the socks.

Um,

You can choose to take a moment to look at what is bothering you about the socks.

It is so easy for us to go straight into a cycle of anger and victim mindset.

Oh,

It is so easy to be a victim.

It is lovely to be a victim.

It is a great place to be a victim.

And so many of us fall into that space,

That mindset really automatically subconsciously.

Oh,

He doesn't care about me.

Oh,

You know,

I'm his maid.

Oh,

How did it come to this point?

And so on and so forth.

If you stop and take a moment to observe what is going on inside of you,

You will see,

Ah,

I'm becoming a victim again.

Wait,

What can I do to avoid this?

Wait,

How can I step out of that mindset and feel empowered again?

If you go straight for your phone to send,

Um,

A text written in capital letters to your husband,

Well,

You know,

You have fallen for the trap again.

So in this way,

Every moment becomes a choice.

Every moment is an opportunity for you to see,

Okay,

What trap is there right now for me to possibly fall into?

And how can I avoid falling into the trap again?

What is this moment asking of me?

What do I need to have a look at right now?

If we live our lives in a subconscious automatic way,

We lose our time.

We waste time.

We waste opportunities.

And it is so fun to blame this on the children,

The partner,

Life,

Money,

The,

I don't know,

Economic crisis,

Inflation,

Whatever.

Everybody's throwing the expression cost of living at the moment here in New Zealand.

And it's so annoying because we're all trapping ourselves into an illusion.

You know,

That makes us feel that we are not in control and that,

You know,

The government is in control or,

You know,

These times are in control,

But we are not.

The question therefore becomes what makes me feel trapped?

Why am I feeling trapped in this moment right now?

And of course,

The next question,

As you can,

I guess is,

Well,

What can I do to get out of the illusion?

What can I do to get out of feeling trapped?

In itself,

You know,

The pile of socks can remain a pile of socks until my husband finds the time to deal with it.

It has nothing to do with me.

It has everything to do with my emotions,

How I feel in my marriage,

How I feel in myself.

If I wake up in the morning and I don't feel valued by my partner,

I'm going to look at every opportunity that I have to convince myself that my partner doesn't value me.

And so it becomes really a cycle of victim mindset,

Self-despair,

Not feeling valued,

Not feeling cherished.

I chose the wrong partner.

I should,

You know,

Divorce him.

And it just takes us down this cycle of really destructive thoughts.

And if you pay attention to the thoughts,

And you have,

Otherwise you wouldn't have these thoughts.

And so the more you think about these thoughts,

The more power you give to them,

Right?

What was I saying?

So the more power you give to these thoughts,

The harder it is to get out of the cycle,

Right?

And so this is what I'm saying here.

If you take a moment to say,

Stop,

What is actually happening here?

Then you give yourself the opportunity to make a change.

The hardest part is to say,

Stop,

Wait a moment here.

What do I need to have a look at?

It is the hardest bit because it is the moment where you take a subconscious belief into a conscious belief that you can have a look at.

My friend was telling me the other day that she had become aware of something that had been going on inside of her.

And she had to write it down because she thought if I don't write it down,

It's going to go back into my subconscious mind.

And I'm not going to be able to look at it.

These beliefs,

These mindsets,

These habits that really are subconscious and yet rule our lives,

Rule the way that we live our lives.

And so she wrote it down and then she was able to have a look at it.

I don't know if you've ever had that experience,

But when you discover a pattern or a habit that obviously was there all along,

But it almost seems to evade the ability for you to have a look at it.

I don't know.

It's a slippery belief,

Really.

You become aware of it for one second and you're like,

Oh,

I need to hold on to this because yes,

It's been going on for me for ages.

And if I can just write it down,

If I can just become aware of it,

Then I'll have the opportunity to shift it.

But of course,

Your subconscious is thinking,

Oh no,

Wait,

Wait,

Wait,

Wait,

Wait.

No,

She needs to forget about this because it's going to keep her safe that way.

Obviously,

We need to think our subconscious and say,

Well,

Thank you,

But let me have a look at this right now.

It's okay.

I can have a look at this.

I deserve this.

So unfortunately,

We live our lives in a very subconscious way.

We live our lives in a very automatic way.

We live our lives based on habits that we have cultivated for the past 5,

10,

40 years.

So when I say that you have a choice,

It's almost laughable because well,

You don't really,

If you're not aware of the habits that rule your life.

And yet that is the first step to change,

To realize that you do have a choice,

That you can say,

Wait,

Stop.

And for so many of us,

We fall into the trap.

We fall into the habits of being the victim,

Of being angry at the government or our mom or life or processed foods or climate change or whatever.

And it is habitual for us to feel angry or to feel sad or to feel a victim because of something else that is bigger than us,

That we feel is bigger than us.

And yet we still have a choice.

And that is a crucial moment.

That is the moment that becomes so precious.

And so many of us chase these moments where we just realized,

Oh,

Wait,

I do have a choice here.

And it is hard to realize that you have a choice when you've accepted the role of the victim for so long.

So my invitation to you is to chase these precious moments.

They're so precious.

Wait,

Stop.

Oh,

My kitten has just decided to join us.

Hello,

Lily.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and I saw her on the bed between my husband's arms.

And she was looking at me.

Obviously,

I would have preferred that my husband had spooned me instead.

But hey,

He chose the cat.

Well,

My husband said that she's a lot cuter and fluffier than I am.

So I can't really compete with her.

I would tend to agree there.

So when I asked about the topic that we should talk about today,

I saw very clearly that our thoughts,

Our desires,

Our dreams,

Our limiting beliefs,

Our subconscious thoughts really pull us into different directions.

And once you realize this,

It's really quite overwhelming because you have a choice,

But oh,

There's so much to change.

And again,

It becomes easy to fall into a cycle of self-hatred or self-rejection.

You know,

Wow,

There's so much to change.

You know,

So much has happened to me in my childhood.

There's so much to heal.

But what I saw very clearly is that every moment is perfect in itself.

You can choose to be pulled by the strings,

Or you can choose to see and recognize that every moment is perfect in itself and for itself.

So if that was truly the case,

Then there would barely be any need of changing and releasing and healing.

And yet we know that in order for us to simply recognizing that every moment can be perfect,

There is so much work that we need to do in order simply to recognize that either every moment is perfect or can be perfect.

Because our thoughts will take us on wild journeys.

Will take us on wild journeys of going back to our childhoods and,

You know,

Feeling angry at a boss or a manager that we had when we were in our early 20s or something.

Our thoughts about our bodies that we have cultivated for many years.

And so the work becomes about wait,

Stop.

And also recognizing that our thoughts don't have to rule us.

Our emotions don't have to rule us.

Our habits don't have to rule us.

What is going on around us,

The society that we live in doesn't have to rule us.

Nothing has to rule us.

There is no,

There is nothing that can have power over you.

If that's what you decide,

You can have power over yourself.

But it's a really empowering position to have in the universe.

But as always,

There's a choice.

And it's a choice that you can make.

And it's a choice that you have to make again and again and again and again.

Now,

I wanted to share an exercise with you that has been useful for me,

Very useful for me in the past few weeks.

And I wanted to share it with you because it is so simple.

And everybody can do it.

And it makes a huge difference.

So the exercise is called the heart song.

And it is a theta healing exercise.

So if you haven't heard of theta healing,

It's a modality that is,

Or meditation technique that is designed to help you to release your subconscious beliefs automatically and not automatically,

But instantly,

Sorry.

And it's a really fun modality.

It's a modality that really is designed to help dive into your subconscious mind and help you to release your,

The root cause,

The root beliefs that are at the bottom of the castle of cards,

If you like.

And so the exercise is called the heart song.

And very simply put,

It is about you feeling into an area in your body where you feel tension or stress or hurts.

So we hold emotions in our body,

Right?

We hold beliefs,

We hold traumas,

We hold events.

We hold memories into our bodies.

And so if you're experiencing pain or stress with this comfort in your body,

For example,

You always have a problem with your right shoulder.

It's good for you to sit down and feel into the emotions and the stress and the trauma that is held in your right shoulder,

For example.

So perhaps you feel a bit of murkiness there or a bit of darkness or a bit of mud or a bit of gray or density,

Whatever,

However it feels to you.

However it feels to you,

Just feel into that part of your body,

Into that murkiness and start to sing the song of your right shoulder.

It will feel like something like,

Ah,

Or ah,

Or mmm.

And just sing the song,

Sing the vibration.

It's not going to be a scream.

You're not going to be yelling.

You're going to resonate that vibration into a sound.

And you will feel it resonating into your right shoulder,

For example.

Whatever it is for you.

So I did that recently for my solar plexus.

And the solar plexus is an area that I've been working on for years now.

And it came to the point where I felt that every bad thought or word that somebody had towards me,

I would just store it in my solar plexus.

And it became so destructive that I wasn't able to feel my solar plexus,

You know,

That center of energy that we all have in there.

So I could feel my heart.

I could feel my throat.

I could feel my third eye.

I could feel my crown.

But I couldn't feel my lower three chakras.

And so I did that for my solar plexus for about 45 minutes until I started to feel a change.

So it's going to take the time that it's going to take.

But I want you to sit yourself down in the car,

Wherever you are,

Or when you're cooking.

Whenever you're doing something where you have the space to think and your hands are busy,

And you're alone,

Perhaps,

That would be good.

And just start to utter or sing that song of that body part that needs a little bit of attention and extra love today.

Again,

It is about making a choice.

Do I want to continue living my life in an automatic way?

Or do I want to say,

Wait,

Stop?

And do I want to make a different decision here?

It's all up to you.

Yeah.

So that's it for today.

I hope that you learned something or that you were able to take something home that is going to help you to change and grow and evolve.

I'll see you again very soon.

Bye.

Bye.

Reviews

I appreciate the lighthearted approach for facing daily struggles.