Finding Presence In Every Moment

In this episode, we discuss the ebb and flow in life. Not the funniest topic, but hey, there's only so much inner work you can do before you realise that the only thing that is within your control is... Well, not much, as it turns out.

Transcript

This program was produced by and first broadcast on Radio Hawke's Bay,

Your community access media station.

Thanks to New Zealand On Air for making this type of programming possible.

Well,

Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of It's A Funny Thing with Celine.

I am Celine and I am so happy that you're here.

At the time I'm recording this episode,

It's actually really early in the morning.

It's not even 7am,

But that's the only time I have to record this episode for you guys.

So I've got Liddy,

My younger cat with me on my lap.

The sun hasn't risen and I've got a cup of tea with me as well.

So if you've listened to the show before,

You'll know that I'm all about making yourself comfortable and making sure that when you listen to an episode,

Of course you can multitask,

But wouldn't it be better to just set that time aside,

Set that time aside for yourself and not do anything.

No multitasking,

No folding the washing,

No knitting,

No cooking.

Just sitting down with a cup of tea,

Find yourself a cat,

A blanket and let yourself be for half an hour.

And I think that's going to be the topic for today actually.

And okay,

Let's get started.

So I do want to say that I hope that you're feeling good today.

I hope that you're feeling good in your body and in your mind and in your soul.

I hope that everything is going right for you.

And if not,

Well,

We'll talk about that today.

So we're coming to a hundred episode of the show.

It's been,

I think,

Eight years since the show started to run.

And it,

Yeah,

I wasn't,

I didn't want to have a show.

I didn't want to have a radio show.

And I was sort of pushed into it by my lovely producer,

Ken Morrison from Radio Hawke's Bay.

And I went and was interviewed on somebody else's show that I knew.

And at the end,

Ken said,

Well,

Celine,

You should have a show of your own.

And I said,

Oh,

I'll think about it.

And he said,

What about,

What about you come back tomorrow and we record your first episode?

And I'm,

I was too polite at the time.

I didn't say no.

And so there you go.

The next day I had my own radio show.

So a hundred episodes,

A hundred episodes of,

Of learning and challenges and groundbreaking epiphanies and realizations and dreams and hopes and health,

Mind,

Soul challenges.

The number of people who have listened to the show has ebbed and flowed over the years,

But I see that there is a number of people who just come back again and again,

Every single month to listen to the episode.

And so when I think about giving up,

When I think about putting an end to the show,

I just think,

Well,

There's,

There's actually 20 people who listen or 20,

30,

Sometimes 40 people who listen to the show religiously every single month.

Um,

So if that's you,

I wanted to say,

Thank you,

You know,

Having an online business and,

And sometimes it is quite a lonely,

Um,

A lonely occupation.

And it's,

It's hard to see what impact you have when you post on social media,

When,

When you have a show,

Because people are not in front of you reacting to the words that you say.

Um,

But I wanted to say that I see you and,

And I hope that you're getting a lot from the show.

I hope that it's helping you to grow into your potential and it's helping you to see that there is truly magic in every second,

Every single moment of your life.

Sorry,

I'm still half asleep,

Honestly.

Um,

And you know,

My,

My life has changed a lot over the past eight years,

Since we've started to have this show,

You and I together exploring the mysteries of life.

I think when I first started,

I was,

I was very young.

I was very young,

But I had this idea that I wanted to share something truly precious that I had learned from myself.

And that was self-love.

And I wanted to,

To teach self-love.

I wanted to share what I had learned because I thought that was so important.

And to this day,

When somebody says self-love,

Talks about self-love or talks about how they realized that,

Um,

You know,

The problems that they had were mostly due to them hating themselves or hating the life that they had or reacting because of something that had happened to them.

And so they were afraid they were broken and self-love where they're really healing their relationship with themselves was the answer.

I still feel like,

Yep,

I knew that.

And I have a sense that I didn't really take this message as far as it could have gone.

You know,

Everybody needs self-love.

Everybody needs a healing.

Everybody needs growth.

But when I officially closed down the business,

My coaching business about,

Um,

Three or four years ago now,

I was,

I was sort of heartbroken because I did feel the sense of failure.

And now having gone through a journey of healing and,

And self discovery,

Self healing,

Really self,

Um,

What's the word?

Um,

Well,

Looking deep inside myself,

If you like,

I realized that actually this,

This,

The time had passed,

You know,

There would be other people who would carry the message.

But for me,

There was that,

That moment came,

That business came to an end and there was the right thing to do.

It was,

It was the natural process of life.

It was,

I could have fought against it and I did,

Could have struggled against it and I did,

Could have felt resentful and angry towards the universe and God and whoever.

And I did for a long time.

And that anger and that heartbrokenness,

Brokenheartedness,

No,

Sorry.

And that deep,

Deep grief,

I carried it all within me for a long,

Long time.

But with hindsight,

Now I look back at that time and I think actually that the time had come to an end and it was okay to let it go.

It was not a failure.

I did what I could with what I had and I shared the message with the people who came to me and it must have been enough because eventually the flow of clients stopped and,

And I had a lot more healing that I had to do.

So when the business closed,

I found myself a job and then another job and I just started a new job actually.

And guess what it is?

After four years of deciding that,

Well,

If this coaching thing was meant to be for me,

I would not make a single effort towards it.

I would not go look for clients.

I would not do any advertising or marketing whatsoever.

Guess what I'm doing now?

I work as a health coach for Health Hawks Bay.

So they've certified me,

They've trained me.

And it was funny.

I thought that a lot of things I knew already,

But actually there was still so much more to learn.

And what a journey it's been from a young,

You know,

25,

26,

Actually much younger than that 24 year old Celine,

Who just wanted to talk about self-love and wanted to help whoever wanted to be helped,

But had no boundaries and did not know how to speak in front of an audience,

Did not know how to share a message or to market whatever,

To this.

I have learned a lot and I'm really truly grateful for the journey that you have been on with me.

The people who have come and who have gone,

The people who have supported me and,

You know,

Listened to the message and really saw how that could be applied in their own lives.

That takes a lot of courage and determination and being in touch with yourself and being in touch with reality,

What is actually going on.

It requires being in touch with your healing and not everybody is ready to do that.

Not everybody is at that stage.

So I just wanted to commend you and congratulate you for having the courage.

I know the path is not easy,

But gosh,

You know,

You have the courage and you are on the journey and somehow at some point you will find the light,

You will find clarity.

So I'm sending you waves and waves of love to you on your journey because the path is not easy and nobody wants to hear that.

Nobody wants to hear that life is not easy.

Nobody wants to hear that life is hard,

That things come,

Things go.

You create things and then you destroy things.

There is a beginning and an end to everything.

In today's world we want to hear about making millions of dollars.

We want to hear about six-figure months.

We want to hear about meeting our soulmate.

We want to hear about growing and growing and growing and growing exponentially.

But life will break you.

People will try to manipulate you and it's up to you to rise to the challenge because we cannot stop this life that we somehow got ourselves into.

You cannot stop the process.

And for years I thought that I could stop the process if only I could work a little more on myself.

If only I could work a little more on myself,

My limiting beliefs.

If only I could heal my traumas a little bit more,

Then I would be okay.

Then life would start going my way.

And I got myself into this,

I got into a rabbit hole really,

Where I just thought just one more limiting belief,

Just one more trauma.

And I lost sight of what I truly wanted because all I could focus on was problems,

Issues and challenges.

And instead of finding peace with this natural rhythm of life,

I struggled against it,

I fought against it,

I hated myself for not being where I wanted to be.

And so when I closed down the business and the only thing that kept going was this show,

Well I just stopped.

I made a conscious decision to stop doing all this work,

To stop fighting against myself,

To stop doing this inner work.

And I have preached doing the inner work for years and years and years and years.

But here I was stopping all this work,

Not looking for limiting beliefs,

Not looking for traumas.

And I must say it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

But in that process I found a deep peace.

I found what I was looking for,

Which is really that we live in a really deeply loving universe that takes care of us.

And in that process I also found a deep strength that I could take care of myself,

That I could make things happen for myself,

That I was no longer the victim of my life.

And so it was a dual lesson really of learning that I could stand up for myself and that the universe stands up for me as well.

But it only came from a deep sense of letting go and giving up.

Looking back I think that people probably thought I was depressed at the time.

And I was,

I was to a certain extent.

It was a moment of deep,

Not even introspection,

But deep creating space within myself for whatever it was.

And when I think about all the episodes that I've recorded for the show and all of the social media posts I've ever written,

All the live videos I've ever recorded for you guys,

All the free meditations and all the stuff I've ever created for the business,

I think that peace was always a thread,

A common thread that connected everything that I've ever created.

And I found that peace in giving up.

I found that peace in not trying to create or change anything.

And from that space of nothingness new desires started to arise,

New things started to come into my life.

I had to face some really hard truths about myself that I couldn't face.

I did not have the time to face when I had the business.

And I have a friend,

She's really lovely.

And she says,

Celine,

Your work is done.

You know,

Your work on yourself is done.

You have done the work.

And I'm like,

You're probably right.

But I know that there's still more for me to discover about myself.

But when I look inside of myself,

I don't see anything broken anymore.

I don't see anything that's longing for love anymore.

I feel complete.

So we talk about peace,

We talk about sitting still,

We talk about meditation,

We talk about sitting with our feelings and our emotions and whatever is going on inside of us.

We talk about presence.

And I think that is the most single most important thing that I have learned and I have tried to share with you is presence.

Presence with whatever is going on,

No matter how challenging it is.

Remember,

There are things that are within your control,

And things that are out of your control.

So what is within your control?

How you feel,

How you react to situations?

You know,

Do you choose to lash out to your partner?

And do you choose to ask for forgiveness afterwards?

You can be spiritual as much as you like.

But this is the true test,

Your relationships,

How you treat yourself and how you treat others.

So how do you choose to interact?

Are you truly choosing to create wholeness and happiness and joy wherever you go?

Are you truly choosing to be the bigger person in every interaction?

And this is not a space for self judgment,

It is a space for introspection and stillness.

Well,

If you are choosing to gossip,

And you know,

You know,

Participate in a circle of of negativity in your workplace,

Then why are you gossiping?

You know,

What is within you wants to gossip?

How is it serving you to gossip?

For example,

If you're choosing to nag at your partner,

Because you want something done,

And you don't feel like it's getting done,

And you feel like everything's relying on you,

And you don't know how to get out of it.

Why do you nag?

How is it serving you to nag?

Embark on a journey of questions.

And throughout the show,

I have given you lots of questions that you can ask yourself.

And I truly believe that it is all about asking yourself the right questions at the right time.

Are you ready to listen?

And I believe in the right time.

I believe in not rushing things.

And that that is what presence is for,

Is to sit until the answer comes.

But by the time the answer comes,

You have almost forgotten what you were waiting for.

In presence,

You thought you saw you found awareness of who you truly are,

Beyond everything.

Awareness of everything that is going on around you in the universe that you live in.

In presence,

You find that there is truly nothing that you really need in that moment.

That you're actually complete and okay in that moment.

Presence teaches you that there is no need for struggling.

Everything will come.

Everything will reveal itself at the right time.

Presence is not so much about waiting than it is about being here now.

You can do all the journaling that you like.

You can do all the healing that you like.

You can do all the live the healing that you like.

You can do all the live videos with all the healers on every platform on social media.

But if you don't have that awareness and understanding,

Then all that work is like an uphill battle.

And you spend,

And I have spent so much effort.

I have fought so hard.

I have struggled so hard.

But in the end,

It all came down to this presence,

Stillness.

I think that's something that we all need is quiet,

Quietness.

We're all overstimulated all day,

Every day.

We have forgotten that life is ebb and flow.

It is beginning and end.

It is birth and it is death.

We have forgotten that about the seasons,

About how winter is all about coming home and snuggling with your partner and coming inside of yourself and enjoying those long nights.

Instead of enjoying those long nights,

Connecting with our families,

We watch movies.

We are trying to get things done.

We try to move forward in our lives.

We forget that winter is about a death in a way until renewal comes again in the spring.

It's about honoring which stage of life you're in right now.

So what have you forgotten?

What do you need to remember?

I think I'll leave you here for today.

So I hope that this episode was helpful for you.

I hope that you could take something home that you can think about.

Just think about it.

You don't need to do anything else.

Just think about it.

Just keep it in your heart until the answer comes.

See if you can do that in a space where you're not judging or criticizing or thinking harshly of yourself.

So I'm sending you a lot of love,

And I'll see you in the next episode.

Bye!

This program was produced by and first broadcast on Radio Hawke's Bay,

Your community access media station.

Thanks to New Zealand On Air for making this type of programming possible.