Welcome,
My love,
To the sacred space for meditation and learning.
My name is Pamela.
I am a sobriety coach.
I am the founder of My Badass Recovery,
But more importantly,
I am a human in recovery from alcoholism and codependency.
Thank you for spending time with me today and more importantly for spending time with yourself.
Today we will dive into your decision to quit drinking and the inner battle that comes with it.
Take a moment to find a comfortable position,
Allowing your body to settle.
Close your eyes.
Give yourself a moment to get here,
To be fully present.
Take some deep breaths in,
Filling your lungs with fresh air.
Exhale slowly,
Releasing as much tension or stress as you can.
Continue to breathe as you hear my voice.
Let yourself soften.
Let yourself grow tender into a place of grace and self-compassion.
Today as we talk about your decision to quit drinking,
I want to share a small story about my own journey.
I remember feeling so overwhelmed when I was trying to make the decision to quit drinking.
I was so very torn between knowing that alcohol was seriously harming me,
My body,
My ability to make good choices,
My inner peace,
Even my health.
But then I had another part of my mind that argued that it wasn't that bad,
That wine was my best friend and I was really torn because there were days where I felt like I did have control over it and wine had been my faithful companion through the ups and downs.
I was dealing with an inner battle of emotions with my own self.
I felt devastated and isolated and ashamed even to admit that I was fighting something that was so clear in certain moments and especially so clear to the people around me.
So my love,
If you are finding yourself stuck in that same confusing place where you're sometimes certain and sometimes uncertain,
Please know that this is so very completely normal.
It is all part of the journey.
We have to go through that inner struggle in order to get to a moment of clarity.
Now trust me,
There will be a moment when a window of total clarity does open up,
Where the desire to quit gets so crystal clear that it drowns out the other mind.
This is what I call the window of opportunity.
It's this magical moment.
It's so precious because we have that one moment to get really brave and to break our cycle with a powerful action.
And that means making a decision,
A decision to get uncomfortable,
To break a pattern that is the pattern that you're always falling back on.
Here's the thing that I've learned,
Which I'm so excited to share with you today.
The decision to quit drinking wasn't the decision that was helpful for me because deciding to quit had failed me so many times because in addiction,
We can't really access our mind to help us enforce a decision.
I now know that my addiction to alcohol really was centered in my mind,
So I couldn't use my mind to help me solve that problem.
Addiction messes with our ability to use reasoning and logic or determination or willpower.
And so for the longest time,
When I reached this window of opportunity,
I thought that I needed to decide with more strength and willpower to quit.
And that didn't get me anywhere.
So listen,
Because here is where the ray of hope comes in.
The decision that truly gives away to sobriety,
To breaking that cycle,
Isn't simply about giving up alcohol.
The decision is not to say,
I am going to quit drinking.
The decision is about doing the transformative work of recovery.
It's knowing that you are going to do the work to return home to your heart,
To a place where you can stay in integrity to yourself and to become your best friend.
And so the decision to quit drinking really was always failing me.
The right decision was the decision to do the work with the guidance of those who had done the work of recovery.
It was about aligning myself with the wisdom of other people.
And for that,
I had to leap.
I had to trust.
And I had to know that I was getting out of my comfort zone.
So for you,
My love,
When you find a space where you stop fighting yourself and you get clear on what you need to do,
I ask you to take a leap of faith.
Reach out to that sober friend or that family member or show up at a community,
A fellowship of people who have found their path out of addiction and can help guide you.
Stop deciding to quit.
Start deciding to do the work of recovery.
You see,
Sobriety is less about the drinking and more about learning to be loyal to yourself again,
Learning how to trust yourself again,
Learning how to rebuild your life so that you can learn to be in that life without the absolute need to tap out of it any longer.
And I get so very passionate about this subject because it was something that I did not understand for so long,
My love.
Give yourself permission to let go of that notion that there is something wrong with you because there isn't.
Recognize the beauty and the power of this very moment when you recognize that the battles that you've fought and the experience that you've had have brought you to this very moment.
The journey is not about drinking or not drinking.
It's about reclaiming your relationship with yourself.
It's about putting yourself first and falling in love with who you truly are,
Rediscovering who you are,
Reinventing who you are,
And reclaiming that beautiful joy and compassion and integrity and loyalty that slipped away somewhere along the way.
Close your eyes and take some deep breaths,
Letting the hope of my words sink into your soul and in your mind repeat these phrases with me.
I am in a perfect moment to reclaim my soul.
I am in a perfect moment to reclaim my body.
I am in a perfect moment to reclaim my heart.
Please know that you are never alone.
The universe is embracing you,
Inviting you to feel the hope,
Feel your strength,
Feel your own power.
This life is yours.
We only get one and you are invited to live it fiercely and tenderly and loyally to yourself.
Walk fiercely into the life that is there for your taking.
You can do this.
Keep going.
