Today's meditation is an adaptation from the work done by Dr.
Kristin Neff,
Who has done a lot of research in the area of self-compassion.
Compassion is not just a pre-existing personality trait,
But you can actually train yourself to be more compassionate towards yourself.
And that self-compassionate people often report feeling more happiness than those who lack self-compassion.
So,
In order to have higher levels of optimism,
Gratitude,
And other positive effects,
Self-compassion is the way to go.
So this meditation is adapted from,
Like I said,
Dr.
Kristin Neff from selfcompassion.
Org,
Where you can find a lot more resources for self-compassion and research as well,
Denoting the benefits of self-compassion.
I'm really excited to share this meditation with you today,
So let's go ahead and get started.
Sitting in a nice,
Comfortable,
Relaxed position,
Bring your hands gently to your lap.
Maybe close the eyes.
And start to notice the breath and the sounds around you.
Now focus on your breathing,
The sense of inhaling and exhaling,
Whether you feel the breath most strongly at your nostrils or as your chest rises and falls.
We'll take just a few minutes here to focus on the breath.
Keeping it simple and easy.
Notice the peacefulness of being quiet.
Notice the peacefulness of resting as you gently breathe.
Now let's bring some aspect of your personality or perhaps some mistake you made,
A failure,
Something that has been bothering you,
Something that you have perhaps been criticizing yourself for or that has made you feel inadequate in some way.
Whenever this trait or action is,
Try to get in touch with your feelings about it.
Does it make you feel sad,
Frightened,
Isolated,
Inadequate?
How have you felt when you think about this,
When you feel into it?
See if you can locate the sensations in your body when you think about this.
It's a tightness in your throat,
A heaviness in your heart,
Tension in the shoulders.
Allow them to be there rather than resisting.
Where are the emotions in my body?
Where are the emotions in my body?
Get in touch with how much suffering is caused by our own self-judgment,
By our feelings of not being good enough.
Some of our greatest suffering is caused on our own hands by our belief that we should be perfect.
Take a hand and place it over your heart in a calm,
Soft,
Comforting manner.
You might even want to rub a calm,
Reassuring circle.
See if you can sense your heart right now.
See if you can let your heart be moved by how difficult your emotional experience is when you think about this thing that makes you feel bad about yourself.
And now we will repeat some loving kindness phrases designed to help you feel compassion for the fact that you are an imperfect being.
You try your best,
But no one on this planet is perfect and it's okay.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
Feeling the warmth of your hand on your heart,
You can continue to repeat these phrases silently,
Getting in touch with the intention and the vibration behind these words,
Kindness,
Compassion,
Acceptance as the mind wanders as it inevitably will.
You can repeat these phrases once more.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
Give yourself the same kindness and acceptance you would give to a good friend who is feeling badly about themselves.
And remembering all your fellow humans who struggle with self-acceptance as you do.
We'll change our phrases slightly to include everyone in our feeling of self-compassion.
May we all feel safe.
May we all be peaceful.
May we be kind to ourselves.
May we accept ourselves as we are.
The key feature of self-compassion is the lack of criticism.
And self-criticism is known to be an important predictor of anxiety and depression.
Greater self-compassion is also linked to less rumination,
Perfectionism,
And fear of failure.
Self-compassion can help us to work through difficult emotions such as guilt.
When we feel remorse,
We recognize that we have said something or done something that has created harm.
We can forgive ourselves and let go,
Freeing us to have the energy and inspiration not to go on repeating the same mistakes.
Guilt on the other hand,
She says,
Has a component of self-hatred in it.
When we go over and over the harmful acts in our mind,
Getting stuck and draining ourselves of energy.
Most importantly,
By Sharon Salzberg in the book,
Force of Kindness,
She says,
While we heal in part by realizing we've acted wrongly and by feeling genuine remorse,
We heal much more completely by remembering that the damaging factors that we recollect are only part of who we are and of who we might yet become.
So as we depart from our meditation today,
I ask you to reflect on some of the questions from Sharon Salzberg's book,
The Force of Kindness,
And reflect on someone in your life who has reached out to you in kindness.
How do you regard him,
Her,
Or they?
Think about your degree of confidence in yourself.
What factors have helped enhance it or decrease it?
Do you see anger,
Fear,
Or similar states arising in your mind and find yourself reacting to them as bad or wrong?
Purposefully translate that response to painful or suffering and see what changes.
And finally,
Devote some time to self-care.
Can you spend 15 minutes doing something kind for yourself?
Notice what changes with this practice.
Let's just take one more moment or two here to bring the hands down away from the heart and focus purely on the breath.
Bring a gentle smile to the corners of the lips and gently bowing in gratitude for yourself and for each other for joining this beautiful practice this morning of self-compassion.
I thank you for joining me and I wish you well for the rest of your week and the rest of your day.
Take care.
Goodbye.
Bye bye.
