There is a deep-rooted belief in us that connects our peace to something happening in the future.
Something happening as a positive event or something happening as if the end of a negative event.
This attribution of peace,
Relaxedness,
Harmony to something happening or not happening in the future is purely based on hope,
Hope that the future is a rosy,
Affliction-free time.
In an unknowing way we are telling,
We are claiming that whatever is happening now is not good enough.
I want that,
I want that which will happen in the future and I am ready to hold my breath for it.
The unfortunate part is that we have held our breath consistently,
Continuously for decades.
For some of us daily,
Weekly,
Monthly,
Yearly.
But we are familiar with this deal to hold our happiness,
Peace,
Ransom for something in the future.
It gives us some sort of a purpose,
Alleged purpose.
We are going to get something,
Something that we deeply aspire,
Namely peace,
Happiness,
Harmony.
And you and I both know that at the most what we have gotten in the past when we have held our breath is relief.
When we have let go of this hostage keeping belief because something has happened congruent with that,
We ourselves have let go of our strong hold on something happening and that's the relief.
The mind mistakenly attributes the relief as peace and as this peace that was brought to us by this event happening.
All events are neutral.
Everything that has happened,
That is happening and that will happen is neutral.
It's our association,
Our interpretation,
Our beliefs that make it a big event.
And then we have relief or disappointment.
The rationale is very simple.
What we are looking for cannot be touched,
Cannot be measured,
Cannot even be seen.
The peace that we are looking for can only be felt once it's identified,
But which can't be seen or measured.
And everything else that you are going to get,
Everything else that is going to happen has a physical or a mental quality to it.
That is,
It has a name,
It has a form,
It can be measured.
But what we are looking for cannot be measured.
I can't package my peace and give it to you.
It's one of those formless things like love,
Like beauty,
Like the experience of humor,
Friendship,
Harmony.
It is a self-evident experience,
But it has no name as an object does.
It has no form like an object does,
Whether physical or a mental object.
But it is an undeniable experience for us.
But we forget that what we are looking for is formless and we chase the form.
We chase the event,
We chase the people,
We chase collectibles.
We can chase money,
And even after getting the money,
The peace of mind can still elude us.
We can chase people,
Once we are with them,
The love can elude us.
We can chase positions.
But once we get them,
The fulfillment can still elude us.
The object never delivers the promise that the mind has attributed it to deliver.
It's just that we get fooled by that promise.
We forget that this promise has been violated millions of times in our own life,
In our own experience.
That doesn't mean that we shouldn't enjoy what comes our way.
Especially the people,
The things,
The situations.
But we have to be so clear that that thing is not going to make me happy.
And if I think that that is making me happy,
When it goes away,
And it will go away,
Just by the nature of its appearance,
Everything that comes has to go,
Or evolve.
When it goes,
My happiness will go too.
And do I really want to hop from happiness to happiness promise?
Because by the time I land on some of these promises,
It will be decades.
Depending on how aspirational the promise we fall for from our mind.
So what I'm saying is to not reject anything.
Do not work toward anything.
But what I'm trying to say is to remove this compulsion.
That something happening will bring me peace and happiness.
It might bring you comfort,
It might bring you enjoyment,
Convenience.
But the fulfillment,
Love,
Beauty,
Worry-free life.
That we are aspiring for,
That is too much to ask for from one event,
From any event.
We have to see that everything that we want in our life is formless.
That we are trying to search for in the form,
In a job,
In a relationship,
In things,
In money,
In status,
In a project getting complete.
This postponement of peace is the mind's way of dividing the continuous life into chunks of time.
Into struggle,
Into hope,
Into relief and back on the wheel of postponement,
Struggle,
Relief,
Hope again.
We forget that we have been living a life of continuity.
Of constant evolution,
Constant change.
In the process we have consumed tons of food,
Physical,
Mental as information.
We have had umpteen relationships.
We have earned a lot of money.
We have spent a lot of money.
We have accumulated a lot of things.
We have lost a lot of things.
But there is one aspect of our experience that has stayed constant.
That has witnessed this change.
As the world outside was evolving based on the physical time,
Clicking.
As the mind has matured,
Developed with the information,
With the learning,
With the practice.
Something timeless in you has witnessed all this change.
That has been the only constant in an ever-changing experience.
Everything that has changed by definition has a name and a form.
That's how we know it is changing.
But you,
That unchanging witness that has remained constant throughout all your experience.
That which you call I.
Yeah,
I know some of us believe that this I is ever-changing.
Every time I learn something new,
This I has changed.
But for someone to know that something has changed,
That aspect needs to be changeless.
But we never spend enough time investigating.
Because it's easy to take whatever model of explanation is available.
And based on that model,
The changing delivers the formless,
The unchanging.
And that's how we end up in a rat race.
But what if we really dove deep into our own experience,
Into this I that we refer to ourselves as,
To find out whether that has changed or not.
It's not that you can take a picture of your I and compare it on your 5th birthday,
On your 10th birthday,
On your 25th,
On your 50th.
Yes,
You can take a picture of your body.
You can take a picture of what skills you know.
But all those are accumulations.
Once we get curious about our I,
About the I,
That I am,
It opens up a pathway into the first part of my exploration.
Which was,
Nothing that happens can deliver something to me.
Because nothing can be added to me.
Something can be added to my body.
Something can be removed from my body.
Something can be added to my mind.
Something can be forgotten from my mind.
But if I am the body,
I am changing,
Then there would be no reference,
No frame of reference for us to aspire for anything that is formless.
If we are completely the form,
Aka the body,
Then all our aspirations would only be about the body.
But that's not true.
If we were only our mind,
The thinking aspect,
We all know where thinking,
Just thinking can take us,
Either into overthinking or something very dry,
Lacking the love aspect of life.
And again,
We would not aspire for love,
For beauty,
For fulfillment.
But when we say,
I really want fulfillment from this relationship,
From this job,
From anything and everything I try to do,
That comes from a deeper place.
And as long as we are distracted,
Misguided,
We are looking for the delivery from the outside.
It's like waiting for a package,
Constantly looking at the door,
Out the door,
Waiting for someone to deliver your package.
But you have never once looked inside that your house is already full with everything you need.
If you haven't changed,
If only your mind and body has changed,
That you have witnessed.
And we have had this kind of a glimpse,
When we look at old photographs,
Especially on our birthdays,
On our anniversaries,
We have this glimpse of not aging at all.
But we trust the number,
We trust those photos,
And we ignore this glimpse that we have.
And we come back to the realm of physical and mental,
Name and form.
Because if nothing can be added to you,
And nothing can be subtracted from you,
Then the delivery is never from the outside.
You find yourself as the fountain of a source,
An unending source.
Then life is not about getting,
It becomes about sharing.
Sharing through the body,
Sharing through the mind,
Always knowing that I am full.
I have everything.
I,
The awareness,
The unchanging witness.
Yes,
I would love to have a convenient life,
Comfortable life,
Filled with enjoyment,
Good food,
Good music.
That's not mandatory.
What's most important is this recognition of myself as awareness,
As this unchanging.
I,
All fulfillment comes from there.
So dive into yourself,
Sit with this question.
What am I?
Am I this formless witness,
Or am I something changing?
And if I am something changing,
Then why do I want something formless and unchanging?
Why do I look for immortality?
Why do I look for forever after?
If all I know is the changing,
Why this deep desire for something immortal,
Eternal?
Thank you.
