All of us are free,
We are free to live the way we want,
To believe whatever we want to believe in.
There are a lot of things that we believe in which are practical,
Which don't directly affect the quality of our life.
The quality as in the peace,
The happiness,
The joy,
The fulfilment of our life.
There are various practical beliefs like gravity,
Like government,
Like institutions.
All those are in place to maintain a civil society or to build things for our conveniences,
To help free trade,
To provide food,
Shelter and other amenities for its citizens.
And then there are beliefs about who we are,
About what is possible for us,
What I like,
What I dislike,
What I agree with,
What I disagree with,
Who I agree with,
Who I disagree with,
What is good for me,
What is good for my health,
What I should eat.
And all these beliefs significantly change the quality of our life.
These beliefs are a filter of how we experience life,
How we experience the world,
The situations,
The events,
The people in our life,
Including our family members.
And as I mentioned,
We are all free.
No matter what has happened with us that has precipitated into this belief system,
Into this filter for life,
All of us have a capacity to challenge our beliefs,
To revisit,
To question or to verify our beliefs if we wanted to.
And the only reason why anyone would ever want to question their beliefs,
To revisit,
To investigate the beliefs,
Would be because of pain,
Either physical pain or psychological pain,
I.
E.
Suffering or unhappiness.
Any amount of pain,
Physical or psychological,
Is a reminder to pay attention.
If our stomach is hurting,
It is a reminder to check what we are eating.
If our feet,
If our legs,
If our knees hurt because of walking or because of doing some exercises or living life,
It's a sign,
It's a reminder to attend to our body.
If we are not sleeping well,
It's a sign to look into it.
If we are feeling off,
It's a sign that our emotions are telling us something,
Something's off.
If we are angry,
Sad,
Depressed,
Lost,
Stuck,
Irritated,
Anxious,
Afraid,
It's a reminder,
It's a reminder to revisit something.
And unfortunately,
It's not clear what we should be revisiting,
And nobody tells us.
So the longer we put up with pain,
Whether it's physical or psychological,
Our threshold keeps increasing,
Threshold to take a notice.
And because most of us around us are suffering,
Especially psychologically or even physically,
It's okay to resign,
Apparently.
Resign to the fact that,
Oh,
This is just the cost of ageing.
This is what it means to be human,
To suffer emotionally,
Psychologically.
It's a collective belief that we never question.
If we are angry,
If we are sad,
It's because of someone or something outside of me.
And some of us can methodically lay down all the reasons proving this.
If we are in physical pain,
It's because of ageing,
Or it's because of someone else,
Something else,
Or we are too busy to go pay attention to it.
Imagine if you got hungry,
Which is a kind of pain in our body.
Let's say you didn't eat for an entire day,
That pain will be very loud in our body,
And we'll have to do something about it.
Now imagine if you ate nothing for an entire day and you didn't feel pain,
If hunger wasn't painful,
There would be no reason for us to pay attention and do something about this pain.
If you did not sleep for three nights,
Three days,
You would be extremely cranky,
Irritated,
Drowsy,
And whatnot.
If that wasn't painful,
You wouldn't sleep.
So pain has a very important role to play in our life.
But right from childhood,
Pain has been demonised.
Oh,
I want to get rid of it.
No,
No,
No,
It's not good.
Take a pill,
Do something,
This pain should stop.
There was never an encouragement to understand what is this pain about,
To actually study pain.
So we fall into the category of beliefs as we start borrowing them from our parents,
Our teachers,
Our society,
And then blindly believe them.
So as a society,
We are suffering from two extremely important issues.
One is physical pain,
Physical pain from an unhealthy lifestyle,
From obesity.
And the other is psychological pain,
Of sadness,
Of depression,
Of anger,
Anxiety.
And we are treating them just as we were taught,
To get rid of it.
And that attitude is helping us come up with more and more pills to numb the pain,
To forget the pain,
To postpone the pain.
And we all know people in our lives,
In our families or extended families.
When we see them suffer physically or psychologically,
We know that they should be doing this,
Either eating healthier,
Taking care of their body,
Moving,
Going to a counsellor or for therapy,
Eating nourishing food,
Meditating.
But you cannot tell them,
Even if you wanted to,
Maybe you have tried.
And they always have a response to it,
Something that convinces them,
But it doesn't convince you.
But out of love,
Out of care,
You really want them to do this because you don't want them to see suffer,
Especially our parents.
But the reason I'm bringing this up is not to open our wounds about how we want to help someone,
But are not able to because of this thick cloud of their beliefs,
That is clouding,
Blocking,
Intelligence,
An intelligent approach to helping their own life.
And at least in my experience,
I found that these beliefs are not just a thick cloud.
Some people are quite sharp,
They will argue,
They will put forth their case about how,
What they believe is right.
And sometimes I like to argue back and people get defensive.
And as you can tell,
I'm quite surgical with my arguments,
With my approach,
But my aim is not to hurt.
But what I've realised is that any challenge to beliefs is met with defence or anger,
Even from my own mother.
And even though it is about her own well-being,
And as my teacher says that all of us are free,
And in that freedom,
Some of us want to suffer,
And then I let go.
These words blossom in my heart and I let go.
I respect the freedom that is choosing to suffer.
And if we are not suffering,
If we are happy and peaceful in our lives,
Then no matter what we believe in,
It doesn't really matter.
But if we are suffering,
If we are in any kind of pain,
Physical or psychological,
It is worth pausing and realising that it doesn't have to be painful.
And the only reason nobody is telling us is because A.
They think pain is okay and it's a part of life,
Physical and psychological,
Mostly psychological,
Or B.
They are stepping on eggshells or avoiding stepping on eggshells.
Because any belief,
When challenged,
Leads to anger or defence.
Unless we are open,
And I'm guessing all of us are open here,
That's why we are here,
To challenge our own beliefs in the light of our own suffering.
Yes,
Somebody might argue that there are extreme cases where physical pain is inevitable and psychological pain is inevitable.
But I'm not talking about those extreme cases,
I'm talking about everyday common cases.
Ordinary people like you and I,
Sometimes the pain is less,
Hardly noticeable,
And the course correction is quite easy,
The problem is way smaller.
But as we keep ignoring,
Keep tolerating,
Keep numbing,
The problem keeps getting bigger and bigger.
The pain keeps getting bigger and bigger,
Until one day we can't avoid it,
We have to take notice.
That's why a lot of people drastically change their lifestyle when they are met with a heart attack or a life-changing disease or an event,
Because they are hit by a bus and something in them shakes up,
That they reflect and take control of their life.
While many are shaken up,
But the cloud is too thick and the pain is not enough.
Every time I see someone close to me suffer,
Suffer with suffering that is avoidable,
Pain that has a remedy,
That can be addressed at a root cause level,
My heart cries,
But I have to respect,
I have to respect the freedom which is choosing to suffer,
And unless someone is ready,
Nothing can be done about it.
And because so many of us are such rational people,
If we decided to write down what we believe in,
And if we journaled about each belief,
Whether it's true or not,
And by true I mean,
Is it universal?
For example,
Gravity,
Is it my own belief or is it a universal belief which can be verified using scientific facts and experiments?
Sure,
But everything else,
If it is only your own belief or a belief of a particular group of people,
And if you end up finding that this is causing pain in my life,
Physical or psychological,
Then we have a chance,
An opening to either let it be in our life or let it dissolve in this understanding.
And the easiest way to find out what we are really holding close to our hearts as beliefs,
Most unfounded beliefs,
Would be to try doing the opposite and see how outrageous it sounds to our minds.
And if you have some good friends in your life,
Ask them,
What do you think is holding me back in my life?
And you will be surprised how they can share something,
Whatever they have seen,
Just like you would want to help someone in your family,
But cannot because they are not open.
You can voluntarily ask in a safe zone with your close friends as to what they think is the belief that is stopping you from living a full life.
And once you see one or two,
You will get the joke.
You can start seeing all the other beliefs that are ruling your life and creating misery and suffering in your life.
And it doesn't have to be loud.
Even if it is a nuisance,
It needs to be investigated.
Even if it is a small pain in your body,
It needs to be checked.
It's way easier when things are smaller to deal with.
Unfortunately,
Our habit is for waiting for things to become bigger,
Problems to become bigger,
And then do something about it.
The longer we stay in the belief,
The harder it is to change it.
The more voluntarily we want to change a belief,
The easier it is.
If we are forced to do it because of some loud event,
It will only make us bitter.
Beliefs need to dissolve with understanding,
Not with brute force or violence.
And this is my invitation for all of you to revisit your beliefs in the light of physical pain or psychological pain that you have in your life.
I wish all of you all the courage in the world,
All the clarity in the world.
I wish you all the happiness and peace in your life.
Thank you.
