Discovering Your True Identity Through Self-Inquiry

Embark on a profound journey of self-discovery with this guided meditation that invites you to explore the question "Who am I?" By peeling away the layers of false identities and beliefs, you'll come to recognize your true nature as the unchanging, formless awareness that perceives all experiences.

Through gentle prompts and pointers, you'll learn to distinguish between what you are and what you are not. You'll investigate the rings of illusion, from external identities to the belief that you are the body and mind. As you let go of these misidentifications, you'll uncover the ever-present, unaffected space of awareness that is your truest self.

Whether you're new to self-inquiry or a seasoned practitioner, this meditation will guide you back home to the source of your being. Discover the liberating power of questioning your assumptions and revealing the truth of who you really are.

Transcript

Who am I?

This is the most important question.

This marks the start of our spiritual exploration and not everyone is going to have this question or be open to this question because it's a weird question to ask,

Yet it is the most profound question to ask,

Weird because it is sort of assumed.

Who am I?

I am me.

What's there to ask?

What's there to explore?

The most profound question because this question can liberate us from suffering.

This is the only question that can liberate us from perpetual suffering.

Everything known,

Everything familiar,

Everything usual comes to a screeching halt with this question.

So the only real prerequisite or way to get on to this question,

To be open to this question is being exhausted,

Having given up on every other way of dealing with suffering.

Most of us are suffering,

But most of us don't even know that we are suffering,

That suffering is so integral part of our everyday experience that it doesn't even register as suffering.

This question is not for them.

This question is also not for them who think they can think their way out of suffering,

That there is something out there that they haven't tried,

Some achievement,

Some process,

Some goal that will get them prolonged happiness.

Imagine if you are travelling for the last 5-10 years,

You started off on this adventure to see new places,

To meet new people,

To find answers to your questions,

For soul-searching and you have travelled,

You have been beaten up by the path,

You have taken the flight,

The train,

Bus,

Walking,

Everything and after 5 or 10 years you realise that I don't think this is working,

Then you are ripe to come back home,

Because you want to come back home,

Because you have recognised that the answer is not out there,

The solution is not out there.

But if you think there is this one more place that I need to go to,

Then even if you come back home,

You will not be at rest,

Because part of your attention will be on that seeking,

That place,

Maybe the answer was there.

So the more sincerely we have searched for happiness,

Peace,

Outside,

The more confident we are in that claim that maybe it's not out there,

Because you and I both know,

Failure is guaranteed when you are looking outside,

Because we all have looked outside for decades.

Relief,

Momentary relief has been the best and I am not trying to convince you of anything,

I am not trying to change you or your beliefs.

This question is an invitation to explore,

If you want to,

If you are open to,

If you are ready to accept what you find along the way.

This is the ultimate truth of our life,

Of us.

It will shatter everything you know.

And this truth cannot be shared in an echo chamber,

Where you want to hear what you already know.

So the openness is quintessential,

Being open to truth.

And the reason this question,

Who am I,

Is important is because if we become who we are not,

Which we can never,

But if we pretend to be who we are not,

We will suffer the fate of what identity we have chosen.

So the suffering,

The emotional,

Psychological suffering that we experience is a feedback loop from nature,

From God,

To nudge us towards this question,

Because ultimately we want freedom from suffering,

For good.

The more misplaced our identity is,

The more we suffer.

For instance,

If you have identified with a certain political party,

A certain sports team,

A certain organization,

A certain way of living,

You will suffer the fate of that identity.

If your team loses,

You will suffer.

It happens to us many times when we are watching movies or TV shows,

Where we identify ourselves with a certain character in the movie.

And we ride the wave of that character,

Emotionally,

Psychologically.

Although it's not necessary for us to explore this question to live this life,

It is mandatory for us to explore this question to be happy,

To be peaceful,

To be conflict-free.

I see in society,

Online,

People keep talking about,

You have to change your identity,

You have to identify with what you want.

And I've always wondered,

Don't you want to know who you truly are before you change your identity?

For us to change something,

We need to understand what it is,

What the identity is and what the process of identification is.

When was the last time in any school,

College or home,

This question was explored,

Taught?

When I deeply suffered my breakups,

The end of my relationships,

Those were the times this question was secretly implanted in my mind.

I don't know by whom.

The ending of that relationship felt like the ending of me.

When I didn't get admission in any of the US universities in 2007,

It felt like an ending of me.

So this is an important,

If not the most important question.

Unfortunately,

You can't be willed into coming here to this question.

It is an act of grace to come to this question,

But then it is an act of courage and sincerity to dive into this question.

Courage to navigate the complex system,

The scar tissue that has been put in place for decades,

The prison that has been built.

Courage to navigate and sincerity to persist,

Because the answers are not outside.

No one else has access other than you in this exploration.

But there are enough breadcrumbs along the way that have been laid down by masters who have spent their lives exploring this question,

Finding answers and leaving the traces behind for us to follow.

So who am I really?

A good rule of thumb,

The most important rule of thumb to separate,

To discriminate between what is you and what is not you,

Is that if you can see it physically or mentally,

If it is in front of you,

So to speak,

It can't be you.

For instance,

If you have a wall in front of you and if I asked you,

Are you the wall or are you you,

You'll obviously say,

I can see the wall,

It's not me.

This is the simplest form of the neti neti approach devised in self-inquiry in the non-dual tradition.

Whatever I can perceive cannot be me.

Whatever I can see with my eyes cannot be my eyes.

You can never see your own eyes.

The same rule applies.

The twist in the tale is all these explanations,

All these commentaries that the mind will come up with to convince you,

To fool you,

To lure you into staying with the identities that have already been put in place.

It's like a snake shedding its skin.

It's necessary,

But it's going to be painful.

So the outermost illusion of identity is our identity with organizations,

With relationships,

With people,

With politics,

With who have you,

That boils your blood with religion,

With God,

A specific God.

Sometimes with jobs,

With companies,

With employers.

Sometimes with our cars,

With our houses,

With possessions.

This is the outermost ring of the mandala of illusion.

The argument always is from the mind that I've spent so much time,

I've given so many emotions.

If I jettison this,

I'll be alone.

So we tolerate suffering,

Very well knowing that deep down you do know that this can't be me,

But you have to carry on.

But if you ever want to stand a chance to actually know who you are,

You have to let go of what you are not.

So the easiest,

Relatively speaking,

The easiest way,

The easiest one to let go is the outermost circle of illusion.

That doesn't mean we have to drop out of any organization.

It just means that your identity is not invested in it.

It's like watching a wrestling game,

A WWF wrestling game.

Watching it before you knew that it's all staged and watching it after learning that it's all staged.

You can still enjoy the game,

But you don't suffer.

You can still be a part of all those organizations,

But you don't have to suffer.

Many times,

And I have considered this as well early on,

That if these organizations,

If these people is what my identity is invested in,

Maybe I should just leave them and go into isolation.

That would be the crudest form of letting go,

Because the next circle of illusion is our belief that I am this body.

Once we have discarded whatever is not this body,

Then we come to the body.

The same rule applies.

If I can see this body,

How can I be this body?

If this self-inquiry happens to you when you are with someone else in a room,

I encourage you to ask this question,

I can see this body,

I can see that body.

What's the difference?

Why is this me and why is that not me?

Oh,

This feels me.

That's it.

There's no other explanation than that.

Or maybe the fact that I can tell this body to do things and it does,

The other body doesn't.

But I really invite you to explore this,

To challenge,

Because our identity with this body is not as clear as you think it is.

For instance,

If you say I am this body,

Are you this entire body?

Do you act as if you are this entire body?

Probably not.

Very well not.

Most of your back body is invisible to you.

You refer to your foot as your foot.

You don't say me,

My knee,

My ankle,

My stomach,

My hand,

My chest.

But when you probably come to your head region,

You say,

Oh,

That's me.

So our identity,

Loyalty is not with the entire body,

Only a part of it.

If we keep zooming in,

Chopping up,

Discriminating,

You'll find a handful of places which are different for each person.

But somewhere behind your eyes,

Behind your mouth,

Lies your identity with this body.

Most of it is assumed,

Implicit.

As long as we believe that we are this body,

We suffer the fate of this body.

The pains and aches that this fragile body is inflicted upon becomes our suffering.

We might not be the body,

But we are the manager of this body.

Taking care of it is important.

This body also has a corollary identity that I am a man,

I am a woman.

And then we suffer the fate of a man and the fate of a woman.

I am sure your mind is rebelling at these words,

And it rightly should.

Because this is going to challenge the existing beliefs,

Which brings me to the third circle of influence.

Our beliefs,

Our ideas,

That can't be seen,

Like your body,

Your relationships,

Your organizations.

But they control our world,

Our life.

In self-inquiry,

There is no room for beliefs.

In truth,

There is no room for belief.

You don't have to believe anything I say.

Truth is self-evident when all the untruth is stripped off,

Discarded.

All the thoughts,

All the ideas that tell you this is who you are,

Are happening right in front of you.

You are seeing them.

How can they be you?

Yes,

The proximity of these ideas,

These thoughts,

These beliefs is so close to you that it's so easy to fall for this illusion.

So the sharpness of this discrimination is so vital in discarding what you are not.

Even the voice in your head cannot be you,

Because you are the one hearing that voice.

So anything that that voice is telling you,

Subsequently cannot be you.

Just because it is happening,

Quote-unquote,

Inside you,

Doesn't make it true.

All your perceptions,

All your feelings,

All your sensations of the body,

Of these ideas,

Of these thoughts,

They are being perceived by you,

The awareness,

The simple,

Ordinary,

Formless,

Aware space that is perceiving,

That has been perceiving,

Relentlessly,

Quietly,

That is free to be that which it is and that which it is not.

That's why you can easily become the character in the movie,

Or your thought,

Or your body,

Or your organization.

But when you peel it back off,

You are always who you were.

In this mandala,

You are the center,

The perceiving center,

Where everything around you is changing,

Unfolding,

While you are perceiving that.

And in this aware space that is I,

The truest identity that I have,

Unadulterated by anything else,

That I,

That space is so full,

Or so empty,

That it is unaffected by anything that happens to the body,

To the thoughts,

To the feelings in the world.

The unchanging,

The unaging aspect of our experience,

That is who I am,

That is who I have always been.