Welcome to this brief loving-kindness meditation.
Stephen Colbert once talked in an interview about how he had learned to love the things he most wished had not happened.
Later on,
He said,
What punishments of God are not gifts?
When I first moved across the country in my late 20s,
Away from everything and everyone I've ever known,
Trying to geographically escape the worst thing that has ever happened to me,
I came across this interview.
Across this idea that by embracing what happened,
Hugging and accepting what someone I loved and trusted could inflict upon me,
I could learn to better cope and live with it.
And so logically,
I understand,
Like many others,
The fundamental idea of loving-kindness.
But in practice,
I have struggled for the last few years with the resentment I feel for someone who I blame for everything wrong in my life.
And also,
I've resented myself,
Maybe even hated myself a little,
For letting this happen,
For not calling the police,
For not telling anyone until it was far too late,
For not protecting the next person that lay in this man's bed.
My point is not to trigger anyone or to victimize myself,
But instead to touch again on this idea of loving-kindness,
Of self-forgiveness and forgiveness of the humanity of others.
This idea that we are all imperfect,
But that most people are inherently good and sometimes make bad decisions because of learned behavior or fear.
So while I'm never going to be happy,
I don't think,
About painful experiences in my life,
I can learn to be grateful for the lessons they've taught me,
For the loving people they've brought into my circle,
And for the experience and wisdom it has enabled me to share with others who are still suffering.
Settle into a safe,
Comfortable position.
When you're ready,
Take a deep breath in and out,
In through your nose,
Exhaling out through your mouth any anger or sadness.
Breathe in gratitude and exhale pain.
If it's comfortable,
Hug yourself or one part of yourself,
Perhaps your chest or your stomach or a leg.
As you continue to breathe normally,
With your eyes closed or unfocused,
Say either in your head,
Quietly,
Or out loud.
May I be healthy.
May I be happy.
May I be safe.
May I be healthy.
May I be happy.
May I be safe.
If it feels okay,
Slowly start to imagine that someone who comes to mind,
Someone who hurt you,
Is sitting in front of you,
And at any time you can open your eyes,
At any time you can stop the recording.
Continuing,
Imagine them sitting in front of you,
Not moving or speaking.
They can no longer hurt you.
You have the control.
Repeat,
May you be healthy.
May you be happy.
May you be safe.
Say to them,
May you be healthy.
May you be happy.
May you be safe.
Ground back down into the earth as they disappear from your mind's eye.
Alone now.
Relax any parts of your body that have tensed up during this practice.
Perhaps your shoulders or your neck or your jaw.
Or your torso.
Breathe in.
Take one last good breath in.
And one last breath out.
Ready?
Start to wiggle your toes and your fingers.
Open your eyes.
Slowly move the still parts of your body.
And come back to the present moment.
We are so much more than our worst memories.
And by finding this gratitude in our lives,
We lessen the power of those who have hurt us.
Namaste.
