Week 3 - Series On ACT therapy - The Present Moment

This is week 3 in the series on ACT therapy. This week, we take a look at how being in the present moment can help with anxious thoughts. Thoughts of a negative or anxious nature can amplify and multiply leading to an even bigger struggle! In this practice, we learn how to examine the internal effects of the thoughts.

Transcript

Hello,

Thank you for joining me today on week 3 of this series on Act Therapy.

What would you do if you were thirsty or hungry?

What if you were hungry for something you didn't have in the house?

I presume for most people none of these things would be an issue.

You're hungry or thirsty,

You go get something,

Hungry and didn't have it in you would go to the shops or order it in.

Control.

We have control over these things.

What if it was something you didn't like so much?

Your mattress is lumpy,

Buy a new one.

You don't like your colleagues,

Change jobs.

Your iPhone that you've had a couple of years is slowing down.

You upgrade.

Control.

Most things in our lives we are in control of.

If we don't like something we can usually do something to change it.

So is it a surprise then that if we experience something unpleasant we want to change it?

But how does that work for you with unpleasant or unwanted thoughts?

Do you have control over them?

Let's try something.

Think of a food that you absolutely detest.

Mine would be mushrooms.

They have the texture of slugs.

What food do you hate either the taste of or the texture of?

Think about that food.

The taste,

The texture or the look of it.

Think about an experience with that food.

Were you forced to eat it as a child?

Did it make you sick at some time?

Does it make you gag?

What is it about it that you don't like?

Now don't think about it.

Try really really hard to not think about it.

That food that you hate.

Don't think about it.

Don't picture it.

Don't think about the experience you had with it anymore.

I'll give you a minute to try really really hard to not think about it.

How did you do?

So unfortunately with our thoughts the opposite is true when it comes to control.

The more we try to control them the harder it is and the more they stay.

Let's imagine that now with an anxious thought.

Imagine that you are about to give a speech to a couple of thousand people in a large hall and no matter how confident you are with public speaking you would still feel anxiety before you go on.

You want to speak clearly and confidently.

You don't want to choke or stutter.

You don't want to mess up.

Now right before you go on if I said to you look I can see you're really anxious.

Your palms are sweaty.

Your face and neck look all blotchy.

You're fidgety.

You need to stop it.

Stop being anxious or you're gonna mess up.

Imagine what's gonna happen now.

You're gonna get anxiety about being anxious.

What advice do you think you might give someone in that same position?

What do you think might be helpful?

Maybe you would tell them to just breathe.

Take some deep slow calming breaths to relax.

This would probably help.

The inability to manage your thoughts by dominating our usual control is called the mental control paradox.

Anxiety is your fight-flight response switched on.

It's our ability to control that threatening situation that is taking place by provoking chemical responses in the body to make us do something about it.

But if it's the anxiety,

The thing that we are trying to control,

Then we are actually evoking more of that very response that we are trying to get rid of.

If you really examine the anxious thoughts,

The fearful thoughts,

The angry thoughts,

The negative thoughts,

Whatever might be a problem for you,

You will find that most of them will be based on the past or on an imaginary future.

Fear,

Anxiety and worry are usually about what you imagine is going to happen within the next few minutes,

Hours,

Weeks,

Years etc.

For example the public speaking.

It's the imagined future.

Anger is usually based on the past,

What someone did or said or life didn't happen how you expected it or wanted it to.

So all these emotions are based on things that have happened or might happen but not on what is happening right now.

Week 3 in this series is looking at the present moment.

Act therapy is a mindfulness based therapy and keeping focus in the actual moment not the past or the future can help in abating unwanted and unhelpful thoughts.

Mindfulness is being fully observant and accepting of what is happening right now,

In this moment.

For example our public speaking moment.

If we asked ourselves what is happening for me right now?

In this moment am I stuttering right now?

Is anyone laughing at me right now?

Is anyone thinking bad about me right now?

What is true for me right now in this moment?

Well I'm just stood here and actually nothing is really happening to me right now.

They are all just possibilities playing out in my mind.

So is it possible then to exist more fully in just your reality in what is really happening in this moment?

You might be thinking that's easier said than done.

You might feel that you are bombarded by your thoughts and are consumed by them.

I'm not saying that this is always easy it's often not.

This takes practice,

Regular practice.

Let's try it.

I invite you to close your eyes if it feels okay to do so.

Take a couple of breaths however you wish.

Allow your mind to drift and float,

Drift and float.

Whatever arises in your mind just allow it to be there.

And now take note of what is going on in your mind.

Observe what is happening there.

As if these thoughts and feelings were nothing to do with you.

Just watch them.

You might notice how slippery they are changing so fast from one thing to another.

Changing constantly from good to bad to meaningless back to bad to planning to worry to problem solving to working out to dreaming to hearing to feeling and back to meaningless.

Just watch your mind.

You might notice a myriad of feelings and emotions that accompany the thoughts.

I'm going to say something now and I want you to keep watching what happens.

Noticing particularly any emotions or feelings.

Sunshine.

Did you dream?

Did you think about happy days on holiday?

Did you wish it was better weather today?

Did you have any negative thoughts?

What did you notice?

We're going to try something a little different now but still notice what is going on for you.

Global pandemic.

Worry about the future.

Anger about things not being how you would like them to be.

Fear of what might be.

You possibly had hundreds of thoughts and feelings running through your mind.

Do you recognize a lack of control here?

Can you acknowledge these feelings and thoughts and just allow some space for them?

Allow them to be there knowing that the alternative trying to control them just doesn't work.

Can you maybe label your feelings and thoughts?

Worry,

Fear,

Anger,

Anxiety.

Whatever's there for you.

See what is there for you.

Notice the emotions attached to them.

Label them and then just be with them.

Allow them,

Accept them and if it's possible let them go.

Ask yourself what is my reality now?

What is really happening for you right in this moment,

Right where you're sat?

What's real for you right in this very second?

What do you notice in your body?

Are there any sensations anywhere?

If thoughts and feelings arise,

Notice them.

Pay attention to them and ask yourself is this real for me right now,

In this second?

And if not,

Label it and then come back to what is real for you right now.

What physical sensations?

What do you notice against your skin?

What about your breath?

What happens in your body when you breathe?

These are the things that are real for you now.

Your breath,

The feeling of cool air on your skin,

Any sensations within your body,

Any sounds in your soundscape.

These things are your reality,

The absolute truth for you right now.

Within these things you might get a glimpse of peace.

The absence of the emotions and thoughts even for a second or two.

Thoughts and the feelings that usually shadow those thoughts are like a continuously moving river,

Ready to sweep us up and carry us away to somewhere not of our choosing,

But being observant,

Noticing what is there,

Recognizing that this is of the future or the past,

Accepting,

Labeling and then standing at the riverbank and letting them go.

And right then in our present moment experience we can partake and enjoy a second or two of silence.

I would like to read part of a poem by John or Donna who called for the senses.

Please stay in this moment.

May your listening be attuned to the deeper silence where sound is honed to bring distance home.

May the fragrance of a distant meadow refresh your heart and remind you that you are a child of the earth.

May your inner eyes see through the surfaces and glean the real presence of everything that meets you.

Staying in awareness is key to not being swept away in that river of thought and feeling.

Seeing the true identity of them,

Seeing through the surfaces of them,

They are of the future or the past,

They are not of the now and so don't belong here.

But rather than fighting them we put the sword down,

Allow them to be there,

Show kindness towards them,

Knowing that due to their nature,

Their constant changeable nature,

They will not stay long,

They will move on,

Replaced by something else,

Maybe equally not belonging to the now and so it begins again.

Not a game of winning control,

No that's not the aim,

But a practice,

A practice of awareness,

Acknowledging,

Allowing,

Acceptance and a tuning in of what is real,

Of what is important,

The present,

That's all we really have,

This moment,

This now.

Take a couple of breaths here however you wish,

Become aware of your surroundings,

Sounds inside,

Sounds outside,

Aware of your feet on the ground or your bottom on the seat,

Can you notice if you have equal weight on your feet or your sit bones,

You might want to bring some movement back to your body by moving a part of your body,

If so do it slowly and gently and when you are ready open your eyes.

I hope you're enjoying this series on apt therapy,

Please do take a minute to let me know what you think.

Thank you.

Reviews

This series is helping me to be present and accepting of my own body and mind experience. Thank you.

This is so helpful in taking a step back from my thoughts and noticing them rather than being devoured and influenced by them. Thank you.

Thank you Mandy, love your calming voice and appreciate this series very much!

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Blessings to you!

Very clear and reassuring

Brilliant as always - your soothing voice & clear simple technique, I find very powerful - God Bless You

Very helpful. This was excellent, thank you! 🙏🙏

This is truly beneficial. Thank you. 🙏🌺

Thank you. I am enjoying this beautiful series immensely. Lovely nature sounds too 🌟

Thank you I am beginning to understand ACT listening to these meditations I will try to listen on another device not a work phone so that I can contribute $

This is a very useful exercise. Thank you.

This is my second time around and I'm learning new things 😃
I love these series on ACT therapy!

Thankyou again. Im really glad for the oppurtinity to repeat act lessons. Its so hard to let awful thoughts be there without reacting to them. I try to practice that a lot and your series really helps. Thanks

A totally new look on thought emotions and control thank you

Thank you so much, this is so helpful and you make these principles of ACT therapy so accessible. I'm really grateful 🙏🙏

Loving this! Excited to learn more about ACT. 💞🙏💕

Very helpful!! It’s just easy to slip into unconscious habits

Brilliant- I'm getting a lot of help from this series!

What do I think of your series: All three parts brought out a Wow from me. The second time I listened to them, the Wow was even louder.
📣 Thank you!!🙏🏻