Thoughts - Recognising The Nature Of Them

We take so much notice of our thoughts, we live our lives by them, but is this right to do so? What are our thoughts? Are they always correct? Can we learn to not take them so seriously, so factual? Can we learn to give ourselves space to question them; to find an alternative to that thought? Can we bring a practise of equanimity? Have a mirror to hand for this practise.

Transcript

What is a thought?

Well,

It's different from a feeling,

Isn't it?

A feeling can be described in one word,

Like sad,

But a thought can't.

It's usually a sentence.

Imagine you are a triune being.

Three parts.

One part being the physical body,

Having felt sensations.

The second part being emotions,

Having feelings.

And the third part,

Mental,

Which is having thoughts.

So if I said to you,

Close your eyes and tune in to what is happening for you right now.

Go ahead,

Try this.

Tune in to what is happening for you right now.

What sensations do you have in your physical body?

Do you notice if you have any feelings that are there today?

Any emotions?

And what are you thinking about?

What thoughts are there?

And these things are happening simultaneously,

All at once.

Now,

Can you see any connections?

Are the thoughts anything to do with the feelings?

Are the feelings anything to do with the physical sensations you noticed?

You will have noticed connections.

This is because we are all three in one.

Triune.

Our brain is amazing.

It is the most complex thing in the world and we still barely know much about it.

There are about 86 billion neurons in our brain and it creates a million new connections every second of our lives.

The new scientist says the complexity of the connectivity in these cells is mind-boggling.

We have approximately 60,

000 thoughts a day.

80% of them are negative due to our negativity bias because our good old amygdala is doing its job.

90% of them are repetitive.

They are just thought habits.

If I have a cup with milk and sugar and hot water in it,

It doesn't make it a cup of tea.

That's because the tea bag is missing.

You can't have a cup of tea without the tea element.

Equally,

You can't be made angry or scared unless there is already that feeling within you,

That element.

So we know that we can be having all these three things,

Thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations and all at the same time.

But where does it begin?

Is it first the thought or first the emotion or does it start with the physical sensation?

Think of a situation that would scare you.

It could be something like swimming with sharks or flying or holding a tarantula.

Whatever it is,

Think about it.

Now imagine you are about to do this tomorrow.

You are doing this thing that makes you scared tomorrow.

Think about as many details around this thing as possible.

Where might this take place?

Who might be there?

Try and imagine as many details as possible about this event taking place tomorrow.

Now tune into your physical body and notice where this fear abides in your body right now.

When you think about doing this scary thing tomorrow,

Where does fear live in your body?

What is a sensation?

What does it look like in shape?

Can you bring to mind an image that reminds you of that sensation?

So if I have tension in my neck,

The image I sometimes have is an iron wrench.

What does your fear look similar to in shape?

Sometimes it's really difficult to tune into how we feel.

This might take time.

Maybe just remain on focusing where it is in your body for now until you begin to notice more details about the sensation.

So what came first?

When I told you you would be doing your frightening thing tomorrow,

Was it the feeling of fear that came first or the physical sensation within your body?

The three are in a constant feedback loop.

The thoughts affect the feelings and the physical sensations.

The physical affects the thoughts and the feelings and the feelings affect the other two.

But where does it begin?

Our brain is a functioning computer whose job is to keep you alive.

It reads and repeats patterns to make you move in certain ways and to think in particular ways.

These are habits in order to conserve energy.

Imagine if you had to think of every part of putting your sock on your foot.

It would take forever.

So these habits or autopilots are very helpful.

Your brain is like the hyperlinks within a web page.

If you click on it,

It takes you to another page that is linked.

However,

Really vague that link might be.

So you move from thought to thought to thought.

And you might think they are really random and not connected in the slightest.

But your brain has this amazing capacity to capture millions of your memories and as a digital photograph,

Store them in your memory banks.

It then monitors the pattern in each memory.

So a blue sky when you fell off your bike and hurt yourself will be matched to the blue sky that you sat under when you were proposed to by your husband.

When you smell cut grass now,

This will be matched to the first time you became aware of this smell when you were a child.

The patterns can be very vague,

The connections very tenuous,

But that is how your brain connects.

These connections then become stories.

Lots and lots of really vague connections cobbled together and made into a story.

And that really vague,

Connected,

Cobbled together story is your thought.

And according to these stories,

We live out our lives.

We think something and we believe it to be a fact.

I think it,

So it's true.

We place so much faith on these stories,

Our thoughts.

Just try this.

Try focusing on your very next thought for the next 30 seconds.

Keep hold of that one thought,

Only that thought.

Keep it.

Hold on to it.

Just that one thought.

I bet within that time you were bombarded by others.

Other images,

Other sentences,

Other cobbled stories.

Our thoughts are like wisps,

One second there,

The next second something else.

Try this.

You have a presentation to give tomorrow.

Don't worry,

It's only the people you know and love.

You are to give a public presentation to about 50 of your friends and family.

Just people that know and love you,

So it's all good.

Think about this.

A public presentation to 50 of your friends and family.

Think about what you might talk about.

Think about where you might make that presentation.

Think about who would be there.

Think about the expressions on their faces whilst they are listening to you making your presentation.

What is happening for you right now?

What is in your body?

What sensations and emotions?

What do you feel?

And what about the thoughts that went through your head?

What were the stories?

Were they good or bad?

How did you feel during this exercise?

Did it make you feel any better?

Did it make you feel any better that it was people you knew?

Did it make it worse?

Do you notice that the feelings were real?

The thoughts were there.

The sensations were real in your body.

But you knew you weren't going to be doing a presentation tomorrow.

You knew.

Right?

So just because you think it doesn't make it real.

You were thinking about the presentation tomorrow even though it wasn't real.

It was imagined.

But the feeling of fear,

Of apprehension,

Of nerves.

That was real.

Aren't many of our thoughts exactly the same?

Imagined worries about the future.

So how do you manage these will-o'-the-wisp thoughts?

Well one way is to ask yourself a question.

What is the alternative?

There will be one.

There is always an alternative.

So find it.

If you can do this,

It stops black and white thinking.

It's either this or this.

But we know our thoughts can be wrong.

So could it be this?

We can be so contained in our thinking.

We have our walls up.

The walls of our boxes.

The boxes of our thoughts.

And we feel safe and cosy in our boxes.

But what if there was something else?

Beyond those walls.

That might be right.

That might give you a whole new level of freedom.

In your relationships.

Your mind.

In your whole life.

Do you dare to take a little peep over those walls of the box and ask,

Is there more?

Is there an alternative to what I think?

The second thing we can do is to enquire into what the connections might be.

You might recall the automatic thoughts you had and so you might be able to work out what the connections are.

But often the thoughts are lightning fast and we're not even aware of them.

So don't worry if you can't do this.

If you can't find the connection.

The third thing you can do is to tune into a more reliable source of information.

The body and the emotions.

The physical sensations are a result of the feelings.

So tune into the emotion.

You will need your mirror to hand now.

There is a Zen tradition called Nothing Left Out or No Parts Left Out.

I'm going to say something and I want you to allow whatever comes up for you.

Permit the feelings.

Think about your week ahead.

Meetings.

Work.

People.

Everything that will be in your week ahead.

What is a feeling present for you right now?

It might help to know who or what the triggers were that set off that emotion.

But again you might not find out at first.

So for now just acknowledge what that emotion is.

Name it.

Look at yourself in your mirror.

Say to yourself I am.

And then say the feeling that you've observed.

For example I am scared.

Repeat this to your own name.

I'm scared Mandy.

Repeat this to yourself.

Tell yourself I understand.

And close your eyes.

Such is the make-up of our brain.

We will usually decide what is good,

Bad what I like,

What I don't what I want in my experience and what I don't want.

This is how we are made up so it's pretty difficult to get out of that mindset.

It's this but not that.

It's you but not you.

But again these preferences are connected to our stories.

So is it possible to disconnect from this way of doing things?

The way to do this is to bring awareness to every moment.

So much is done below the level of consciousness we are just not aware of the choices we make not aware of the judgements that have just happened not aware of that magnetic drawing to what we consider good and our avoidance to what we have decided is not good.

But what if we didn't choose?

What if we accepted it all?

All of it.

Nothing left out.

That means we accept all people of all colours nations genders abilities we accept all religions and beliefs we accept all of our emotions all the sensations in our bodies all our thoughts nothing left.

Left.

Out.

It's leaving space for it all.

It's about being curious of why that feeling or sensation is there.

It's exploring why I am thinking this story about this situation.

Bringing awareness to all of it reduces reactions and allows space to question your thoughts your judgements your opinions and bring a compassionate enquiry to your feelings and sensations and can reduce the thinking boxes to mere sawdust.

Can you see how this might help?

It is the beautiful sunset with pinks and purples casting enchanting colours over the horizon but it is also the angry grey clouds and biting winds.

Nothing.

Left.

Out.

It's belly laughs with your best mate and the tantrums of your difficult child.

It's your relaxing weekend at the spa and a busy full week at work.

It's the roast potatoes and the sprouts.

All of it.

This is your life.

Accept it all as your life.

Increase your circle of acceptance.

Build an extension on the box of your life.

The meditation buzzword for this is equanimity being equanimous with what is your life experience.

That whatever is there is not worth chasing or resisting because it all changes anyway Can you be neutral?

I have an offering on Insight Timer called Acceptance.

Try this as a practice run of this stuff.

Go for a walk and just notice your tendency to not want certain stuff.

The noise of traffic the dog barking the cold wind the too hot sun The resistance to what is there is what makes us suffer.

Can you become equanimous with it all?

Nothing left out.

Let's end on an important exercise to seal this idea.

Get your mirror and look at your reflection.

What do you see?

Look very carefully.

I bet you notice the negatives,

Right?

Look again and notice the stories that go on in your mind about this reflection.

See how powerful those stories can be if we believe them to be truth.

And now try it again and see if you can become more equanimous with what you see.

See it as neutral as you can not preferring not disliking.

See if it is possible to leave nothing out.

I hope you managed to get a couple of seconds of a neutral brain tone here but if not be thankful that it has highlighted the judging and negative nature of your brain.

So you can now begin the work.

See if you can notice this in your upcoming day or week this tendency to choose or avoid to judge in everything and bring this mantra into your thoughts.

Nothing left out.

You might want to pop a sticky note somewhere to remind you of this mantra.

You might want to set an alarm with an alert to remind you of it but really bring this to your life to encourage the embracing of your full life experience.

Reviews

Thank you for this contemplative meditation on the nature of thoughts. The concept of “nothing left out” feels spacious, inclusive and illuminating.

I was under the assumption this would be more a classical meditation presentation. Rather, this was an engrossing revelation about the nature of thoughts and their relationships to the physical body and the emotional state. The discussion is so finely woven and thoughtful that the 25 minutes passed without notice. Take the the time to listen and discover. Like me, you’ll step away with a new perspective on those things - those thoughts - that make up so much of our day.

Absolutely beautiful ❣️
I feel open to the practice of equanimity with an open heart and mind. Thank You 💕

Absolutely superb, Mandy. Scientific ideas made accessible in a gorgeous Northern accent 😁 And so great without musical background. Well done and thank you 🌟